Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai, San Fransisco  or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value. 

Best Areas for Logistics when Dating in London : 

Honestly my preference will be around North London rather than where I am based in south. Reason being is there’s alot of girl heavy art universities based in the North like King’s Cross and an all together younger demographic based in Shoreditch. The foot flow in these areas are continuous and you’re only a few stops away from Oxford street and 6-7 away from my favourite daygame spot of Knightsbridge. Renting in central London if you have the budget will obviously save you a lot of time but is very expensive. Ideally somewhere near King’s Cross is the bear minimum that will give you access to a big pool of women. Shoreditch has a lot of good new innovative hotels that aren’t ridiculously expensive (of course everything based in London is going to be pricey to some degree)  But for those visiting London who want to be near the action whilst not spending ridiculous  amounts in  Shoreditch is optimal. If you have an unlimited budget you can simply read the Areas To Daygame around London guide and just make your logistics closed to the areas you desire: https://mindful-masculinity.org/2020/10/17/areas-to-game-around-london-a-full-analysis/

Some things to note about this guide: 

• A lot of locations I haven’t listed because they’ve been listed in other areas of London dating guides found here:areas to date around London part 2 and https://mindful-masculinity.org/2022/11/07/areas-to-date-around-london-a-full-guide/
• Some areas I haven’t listed simply because I haven’t dated or gamed enough in a location in order to garner enough time so I apologise if your area has been left out but really with London’s good transport system there should be something for everyone in this guide. 
• Some areas that I’ve already written about like Knightsbridge I’ve added a couple of locations in order to give you a bit more balance and variation in a particular area.  Again I can’t list every single coffee shop. Most of these routines are really simple just one coffee shop followed by one nearby bar .

Kings Cross Station –

Simple Low investment dates : 

If the Weather is good: 

Start the meet up at Kings Cross Station take her to Gramos a decent coffee shop located right in King’s Cross Station. Then you can go walk to the Google offices and sit down on the grass there or after the coffee you can take her to Waitrose  next to UAL and buy some food and have a picnic on the grass. 

If the Weather is bad: 

Start at Redemption Roasters Located in King’s Cross at Unit 109 Stable St, London N1C 4DR then you can take her for a second bounce/Alcoholic drink  at Barffina simple one coffee then drinks date. The area around Redemption Roasters is packed full of bars and food trucks so you really have endless options. 

Or you can take her to a restaurant called Caravan located at 1 Granary Square, London N1C 4AA with plenty of seating and located right next to UAL university (a woman heavy university)  which makes it a great spot for instant dates. Afterwords you can have follow up drinks at the nearby Barffina or Dishoom. 

Shoreditch 

Coffee Shop List: 

One Hundred Shoreditch 

Located at : 

100 Shoreditch High St, London E1 6JQ This is probably my favourite night bar in shoreditch and is also has numerous bars at different floors but I prefer the different levels. . So all in all a great spot for a date offering unique cocktails . 

Dark Sugars- Brick Lane 

Another decent hot chocolate  shop the perfect way to begin a date with someone especially if they’re a tourist experiencing London for the first time. Brick Lane is an excellent place to take an artistsy or woman who works in the creative arts. A quick two step date routine will be to start the date here then while you’re consuming your hot chocolates then take her to 100 Shoreditch bar. 

Hoko Hong Kong Cafe : A good place to take A Hong Konger or anyone into Cantonese culture on a date this place does decent Hong Kong Milk teas, coffee and food .

Platform – located at 224 Brick Ln, London E1 6SA a prime first date spot 

 Gecko Coffeehouse: Located  49 Bethnal Grn Rd, London E1 6LA a good place for a first coffee  date before a bounce to a cocktail bar  -The Cocktail Trading Co located at : 

68 Bethnal Grn Rd, London E1 6GQ

Ozone Coffee Shop: Located at :11 Leonard St, London EC2A 4AQ- Again like the others a decent coffee shop for a first date and not much else to say. 

One of the top rated cocktail bars in the area and a highly recommend second Date location 

Shoreditch -Experience Platform:

Shoreditch

This is a great Second/ Third location gaming bar similar to what I posted in the Canary Wharf section. 

Junkyard Golf Club | Crazy Golf Shoreditch: Located at 88 Worship St, London EC2A 2BE again a second stop which makes after a good first bounce from a coffee shop. Again activity dates are good for those who want to try and get a girls personality out if they appear to be too introverted during the initial coffee an activity like Mini Golf might be able to bring out their personality a bit more.

Canary Wharf: 

Canary Wharf has come a long way since I began my daygame journey in 2017 it’s way more developed with a lot of options for food and drink.  For me personally Canary Wharf is a great area to meet women during the week as a lot of women tend to work there so its a decent place to arrange an evening date with lots of different locations to suit most people.  

Date Plans in Canary Wharf: 

You have a huge number of choices of coffee locations to start your date in the Jubilee mall next to Canary Wharf theres a “ Pure” coffee shop located at Unit 390 Cabot Square, London E14 5AX  again this has ideal coffee seats. 

Theres also a Notes coffee shop which has good seating too at 

Notes Coffee Roasters | Canada Walk-  this is a great place to start for a coffee  and is just a 6 minute walk away from cargo market hall which is  a great place for seated dates. This area has a massive drink and food selection plus sofas for a great date setting . Great for a second date bounce – an third date bounce after a few drinks here is the gaming and drinks bar called Platorm located:Unit 40, 1 Crossrail Pl, London E14 5AR roughly an 8 minute walk away and a great place to have some drinks and play some games 

Cargo Market Hall : You can been the date having a coffee at “Grind ” upstairs .

https://experienceplatform.co.uk/canary-wharf/ a pretty unique date spot in London .

 

Other good Coffee/Bars  include: 

640 East- Located in  Montgomery Square, Upper Bank St, London E14 5JJ . A nice coffee shop with great seating but preferable in the summer months as opposed to winter.

The Alchemist : Again this a chain all over the UK one of those brands that I will probably repeat over again. But the alchemist is a great place for a cheap alcoholic drinks and the bar tenders tend to put on a “Show” located right next  to Canary Wharf’s Jubilee exit line and a fantastic place for a drink. 

Liverpool Street- 

Good Two Steep Date Location : 

% ARABICA LONDON SPITALFIELDS MARKET followed by Duck and Waffle- Duck and Waffle Bishopsgate ( 10 Bishopsgate, London EC2N 4AY) fantastic views and a intimate bar setting perfect for the second date location if things are ok – they serve alcoholic drinks, tea as well as great food in compact seating great for building rapport and escalation . 

Duck and Waffle Located :110 Bishopsgate, London EC2N 4AY : Good restaurant/bar with fantastic views. Great for building rapport with foreign students or tourists as the unique views will be very special for them. Would recommend this as a second place to “bounce” after a coffee shop as it could be seen as too much of an overdoing for 

EATLY: 

Located at: 135 Bishopsgate, London EC2M 3YD

I mentioned this before in my previous dating guide as a great area to have a date in the Liverpool Street/ Shoreditch area I want to reiterate this is a fantastic spot to do date a girl as it has 4 separate restaurants and bars in the facility perfect for if you want a cheap/ more glamorous  date this spot has something for everybody.  It also shuts late at 11pm so if you finish work late or your girl finishes late this is still an excellent spot to grab a drink whether it be alcohol or non alcoholic .

Black Sheep Coffee : 

Located right next to EATLY this is another excellent coffee shop with good seating perfect for a summers day. You might want to start out here then head for a pizza slice in EATLY for an easy “two step” date.  Black Sheep Coffee can serve as the cheap coffee date then Eatly is an easy one for drinks. The major advantage with Eatly is it shuts so late as I said before compared to literally every other coffee shop on this list which usually shuts around 6pm. 

Favourite Hotel Bar in Liverpool Street:  Pan Pacific Bar Liverpool Street:  Located at: 80 Houndsditch, London EC3A 7AB this bar is located near Eatly so a perfect second bounce location  after a coffee at Blacksheep or Eatly . This place is open to late and you can sit down till past 11pm. There are loads of sofa seating and the price of drinks and food is reasonable . Definitely my favourite date spot in Liverpool Street and a good “hidden gem” 

Angel- Islington : 

Good first date locations: 

Angel in Islington is a pretty simple date plan. There’s a  Be at one located near the station at 12 Upper St, London N1 0PQ which is adjacent to two coffee  places either the Hotel Chocolate located at :14 Upper St, London N1 0PQ which serves coffee and has seating or blank street coffee located a t4 Upper St, London N1 0PQ. So the ideal first date would be to have a coffee at either of these places then hit up all bar one. 

Alternative first date plan for Angel if the weather is good  is: 

Saint Espresso located at: 26 Pentonville Rd, London N1 9HJ followed by a trip to Sainsbury’s grab some food and drink then have an outdoor picnic in the seating located outside. Then a bounce to All Bar one is advised for a third “location” . Again this date plan is more preferred for the summer time. 

Highbury and Islington : 

A coffee at the Urban Social Coffee located at :  236 Upper St, London N1 1RU  followed by a bounce to The Bottle Cocktail Shop and Bar at : 116 Upper St, London N1 1QP simple two step date but a pretty routine place. The area around The Bottle Cocktail Shop has very attractive bars and food places with a food market on the weekend which can be good for eating outside in the Summer time . 

Bank/Monument : 

Might not be the most attractive place for a date but seeing as a lot of finance bros do read this blog I will include it. To be honest Bank is pretty straight forward : 

Black Sheep Coffee located at: 31 Eastcheap, London EC3M 1DE A good spot for a first date low investment coffee followed by moving to a bar.  Bar Recommendations  the best and most popular for this location seems to be Eastcheap  Records Located at: 31 Eastcheap, London EC3M 1DE  this is a vibrate bar good for a second date bounce. 

Langbourns- Bar and Dining is also a good spot located at  : 77 Gracechurch St, London EC3V 0AG

Victoria: 

Without once again sounding repetitive the best  Coffee Shop  for the Victoria Area has to be Notes at 10 Sir Simon Milton Sq, London SW1E 5DJ

Again I notice im naming the same brand a lot of the time and that might be annoying but the good think about this Notes coffee shop per say is that its right next to around 5 other major bars all In the same place. In other words dating in Victoria is pretty much as straight forward as one can get it  and you don’t need me to point out the “best locations” for you so to speak. 

There are other options in Victoria though- closer to the Sloane Square area there’s also Hagen Espresso Bar Bar located at : Coleshill Flats, 30a Pimlico Rd, London SW1W 8LJ this location can be by walking to Sloane Square station of which there are numerous bars and restaurants in that area of London which I’ve written about in my other guides. 

This area has developed a fair bit since the previous guide I wrote about gaming and dating in London .There are now a fair few more options for coffee shops and bars available .  Again London. Bridge is quite an iconic place 

London Bridge – ¹

Monmouth Coffee Shop –  Located right next to London Bridge at : 2 Park St, London SE1 9AD decent place  to grab a coffee and sit the one major advantage being this place opens late tilll 6pm bear in mind it’s often packed so may not have the best seating that being said you can always walk with the girl while drinking coffee maybe making the way to the river . 

Longboys Borough Yards: This is a doughnut / coffee shop that’s located around 6 minutes away from Monmouth Coffee shop whilst doughnuts isn’t the ideal first date this coffee place is often empty on the weekdays and has a good couch seating located upstairs in the shop which makes it a good place for an intimate “low investment “ first date . There are a lot of restaurants, tapas bars etc. nearby this location which make for easy second or third bounces. 

Le Chocolat Alain Ducasse -Le Comptoir Coal Drops Yard : 

This is another hot chocolate place – not the best in terms of seating but an interesting place to go on a hot day if you’re looking for a starting point to grab drinks before going for a walk. 

North Greenwich: 

Dark Sugars Greenwhich is a great place for a date in north London as I have probably repeat In other guides. Then going for a walk in Greenwich park 

Green Park/Piccadilly:  

Green Park is once again a place that can be very crowded on the weekends  but there are a few spots that are good for cheap or intimate dates my favourite one being . 

Compane Speciality Coffee:  8-10 Princes Arcade, Piccadilly, St. James’s, London SW1Y 6DS tucked away in Green park perfect for an intimate beginning to a date however bear in mind this place shuts at 5pm. Following this a trip to Swans bar in Maison Assouline Located at: 196A Piccadilly, St. James’s, London W1J 9EY. Another decent Coffee Shop in the Green Park area is Volonti 200 Piccadilly, St. James’s, London W1J 0DJ . Obviously both Green Park and Picadilly have loads of options and I can’t possibly list all of them but most the best cafes and bars should be easy to find while you walk. 

Farmer J Piccadilly:  Another decent coffee shop that is open till late : 210 Piccadilly, St. James’s, London W1J 9HL  again this opens till 9pm so its a decent first date cafe with a good quantity of seating .

Fortnum and Mason  – Located at 181 Piccadilly, St. James’s, London W1A 1ER— Ok this is an unconventional suggestions primarily due to the reputation fortnum and mason has as a tea shop but  Fortnum and Mason has a pretty good tea shop located on the third floor that’s actually ideal for a cheeky coffee date bear in mind a lot of cultures like Korean, Chinese, Japanese really have big admiration for Fortnum and Mason so it can be a good area to take these races for a first date. A British woman or someone born and bred in London this might not be the best area for a first  date in Piccadilly. 

Fallow – Again this is more of a restaurant located at : 52 Haymarket, St. James’s, London SW1Y 4RP. However this has a great bar area and is open till around 11pm so a great second bounce located in the heart of Piccadilly. 

Hawksmoor AirStreet-  Located at: 5A Air St, London W1J 0AD this is an ideal cosy place for a drink open till around 10pm . Perfect for a second bounce after a coffee shop in Piccadilly. A third bounce to a hotel like The Dorchester will be a good option its around a 20 minute walk away . 

Mayfair: 

The Dorchester: 

Great hotel bar Located in : 53 Park Ln, London W1K 1QA Again this is a second or third bounce sort of area. I wouldn’t recommend this as a first bounce sorta dating spot as it can be seen as too intense for a first date. Make sure you go to a coffee place or something before hand to analyse how much the girl is into you first.

Covent Garden

Arabica Coffee spot followed by a quick trip the Restaurant/Bar called Barrafina located at: 43 Drury Ln, London WC2B 5AJ is my preferred date routine here . All in all im not a big fan of dates in Covent Garden as the area can be extremely crowded especially on weekends but if you’re dating a tourist this maybe a spot to think about or that they will enjoy. Monmouth Coffee Company located at : 27 Monmouth St, London WC2H 9EU although be aware on weekends this place can get absolutely packed-  after this a trip to Seven Dials Food Market is a good shout as it has huge seating perfect for grabbing a quick bite to eat. 

Temple : 

Harris+.Hoole Fleet Street  located roughly 9 minutes from Temple station is a fantastic spot to meet people. Located at :191-192 Fleet St, London EC4A 2L followed by a bounce to Simmon’s bar located very nearby at : London WC2R 3LL roughly 5 minutes away. 

Finsbury Park: 

Sourdough Sophia: Probably the best place for a first date in this location. Located in: 24 Middle Ln, London N8 8PL great pastries and coffee .   I don’t know enough about this area to suggest a second date location though. 

Knightsbridge: 

Knightsbridge can be a very crowded around the holiday times making it a bit annoying for a date hence why I recommend : HawksMoor Knightsbridge:  located at 3 Yeoman’s Row, London SW3 2AL this area is always open to late around 10pm and is a great second bounce location for a date after this a bounce to a Aisha lounge like 360 Lounge or 17 on Sloane located on 28 pavilion road both are good options. 

Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai, San Fransisco  or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value. 

Cities covered in this Guide: Newcastle, Bristol, Cambridge , Manchester , Leeds , London , Liverpool, Birmingham and Cardiff 

Eight critical factors for which city you’re picking for Daygame in the UK : 

Population: 

Ideally your city will have a population of 1 million plus – of course this is ambitious for a lot of people as some won’t be able to afford to live in a high populated city as they tend to be more expensive. 

Expense: Some cities on this list like London are extremely expensive others like Liverpool are significantly cheaper. The cheaper the city the cheaper it is to get good quality logistics with good foot flow. Bristol and Liverpool its possible to get Travelodge hotels in the city centre for £30-40 a night for example but for London this could cost anywhere from £100-400 a night  although London itself can have cheap Travelodges albeit in less favourable places. 

Amount of Universities : I think this is crucial, universities are a big contributing factor to how the women in your city will develop and change year on year. If you pick to live somewhere with not many universities you’re not going to get a big change in the population of women which can be very negative daygame wise. As you’ll simply be approaching the same women year on year and maybe even garnering a reputation as someone who does daygame which is obviously not good. If you pick a city like Manchester which has three universities in a small area (Man Met, Uni of Manchester and Salford) then you’re going to get a flurry of new students every year and not just bachelors of course, PHD, Masters , University exchanges etc. Which means if you get rejected a bunch one year who gives a fuck as next year there will be a completely different array of students. 

Tourist popularity : Some cities in the UK have very unique spots that will keep tourists coming all the time therefore will broaden the opportunity for you to approach more people. For example people all year round visit Liverpool for the Beatles museum. Other cities for example Birmingham and Leeds have less incentives to be visited by tourists as they have less iconic tourist sites  so to speak. 

How long are you committing to the city:  Longer you live somewhere the more serious you need to factor in blow outs and rejections .For example a city of the population 130k like Cambridge if you live there 2-3 years you’re probably going to a reputation as a “daygamer “ there due to the sheer lack of population. If you consistently approach there for a while theres a high chance you will run into the same women and because there aren’t that many daygame spots in said city you may garner a reputation which can harm your chances of converting  leads. 

The Value of men around you in that city: Dating is competition and you need to understand your competition which is around you  . Capital cities generally have the highest value men therefore if you’re a low value person a competitive city like London or New York may not be for you if you are overwhelmed by the completion and other men around you. 

What’s your type and does that city have a lot of them:  Live in the city which has the most of what you want. Love Arab girls then live in Knightsbridge-London , love French women then live in South Kensington-London as they have the highest population of French people in that area. Again you catch my drift go where what it is you want. 

Other major cities that are near your city: This can provide you a plan b on the weekends for example. If you’re say studying a Newcastle University you may want to make a daygame trip to Leeds or Edinburgh at the weekend in order to cover fresh ground and different women . 

Further Note: Some of the cities in this guide I’ve included some date locations/ logistics others due to the fact that I gamed in them a very long time ago I’d either have forgotten the good date locations or those that I’d visited before hand are no longer there. I’ll be adding to this list as I revisit the cities on this list .  In regards to good accommodation I’ve written the ones I’ve used when I was there on a budget but sometimes I’ve left it blank because I’ve most likely forgotten what I used or what I used wasn’t particularly memorable or good.  I obviously haven’t lived in any of these cities long enough to provide comprehensive analysis as I have London so therefore can’t provide as much detail. I apologise if some of the cities analysis is weak as its the best I could write about at the time. 

Transport: Obviously the Trains are the quickest and most comfortable way to get from A-B in the UK. But for day gamers on a budget they can be expensive. I recommend using Flixbus if you’re on a budget or a megabus/stagecoach if you want to get to A to B cheap and effectively albeit this way is more uncomfortable and takes longer. Of course on the weekend Fridays/Saturdays accommodation is likely to be the most expensive. Early on the week and Sundays will be the cheapest for hotel accommodation in the cities listed . For an example Friday and Saturdays will be much more expensive for example the Ibis Cardiff city centre is around £30-50 on a Sunday but £120 on a Saturday so the day you visit can make a big different. For rent London is by far the most expensive city on the list with the other cities at a similar monthly rent price.

Newcastle: 

Population: 825,000

Advantages : 

• Newcastle University allows for a decent student inflow 
• Competition of men relatively is low in comparison to London . 
• Relatively near to other major UK cities like Leeds or Edinburgh 
• Cheap for hotels with a 3 star averaging at £50 , generally good logistics in Newcastle are way cheaper than London ( by the way when I use “cheap” in this guide I mean relatively in comparison to  London. 

Disadvantages: 

• Still small with the limited day-game spots and places of high quality foot flow 
• Tourist inflow is low . 

Good Date Locations: 

-The Alchemist -Newcastle – 5- Grey’s Quarter, Eldon Square. 

Good Accommodation: 

• Ramada Encore is a 15 minute walk from the main city centre – the bulk of good foot flow is. It’s also reasonably priced at the time of booking in 2022  it was £50 a night on the weekend not bad at all. 

Cambridge: 

Population:  145,000 

• Advantages:  Prestigious area with good tourist inflows on the weekends. 
• University campus offers a good daygame point for a few weeks of the year 

Disadvantages: 

• Accommodation relatively expensive to other cities on this list  
• Really not enough people in the city easy to get noticed if you’re doing too much approaching as a small amount of students tend to hang in the same places. Not recommending there for long term living . 

Good Date Location: 

• Six- Rooftop bar –  Located on 24 Thompsons Lane. 
• Novi Kitchen and bar Located 12 Regent Street 

Bristol :

Population :  460,000 

Advantages: 

• Lots of great bars in one area by the dock. A unique place to date in the UK. 
• Lots of good coffee shops , food places tucked away, easy to have adventurous  dates here .
• Bristol University and University of West England provide a decent tourist inflow 
• Bristol Suspension Bridge great place for intimate dates . 
• Bristol Uni campus a great place to game with no need for an “entry card” 

Diadvantages: 

• None than I can think of other than the tourist foot flow is not as good as London for example. 

Good Accommodation Ideas: 

• Travelodge Bristol City Centre: 

Now this hotel is a dump but it is cheap and right next to the city centre at £35 a night during a weekday its probably the most cost effective logistics you’re gonna find there. 

Good Date Locations: 

• Clifton Suspension Bridge for a walk and then a drink afterwards at any of the numerous bars adjacent to it my favourite being The White Lion- located on Avon Gorge by Hotel Du Vin. 
• Dareshack – Located in Vintry Building Wine street -Bristol BS1 2BD my favourite coffee shop in Bristol and an excellent spot for a low investment first date. 

Manchester: 

Population: 550,000 

Advantages: 

• You get literally 3 large universities in one spot with University of Manchester ( already a highly populated University)  , Manchester Metropolitan University and university of Salford.  Thats alot of new people coming in this city every year 
• Manchester Arndale and Trafford centre are decent game spots 
• Near other major cities like Liverpool
• Strong tourist attraction due to the two Manchester football clubs.
• Much Cheaper Accommodation wise than London 
• Good young population 

Disadvantages: 

• Doesn’t really have the high quality wingmen that a city like London will have . 

Leeds: 

Population: 800k

Advantages: 

• Good student night life – lots of good date locations in a small area. 
• Close to other daygame cities like Newcastle 
• Leeds uni and Leeds Met give for good student inflow. 
• Cheap accommodation 
• Larger population (800k) compared to the other “low population” cheap cities like Bristol 400k  and Manchester 500k 

Disadvantages: 

• Doesn’t have that tourist inflow that nearby cities like Liverpool and Manchester will enjoy . 

Good Date Locations: 

• The ClubHouse Leeds – decent coffee shop in the city centre 
• The Alchemist Leeds City Centre (Again like all the Alchemist’s this is a decent bar in a good location which is nearby a lot of other bars for a second date location bounce) 
• Raddison Leeds Centre – has a good bar area too 
• Junkyard Golf Club Located in -The Light the HeadRow- The Headrow , Leeds LS1 8TL. 

Accomdation: 

• Ibis Leeds City Centre (good for those on a budget) 
• Raddison Leeds City Centre – Expensive on the weekends but on the weekdays its around £80 a night located right in the centre of the malls 

Liverpool: 

Population:  500k

Advantages: 

• Cheap to book decent accommodation in the city centre. 
• The Beetles Museum and Liverpool FC allow for good tourist foot flow 

Disadvantages: 

• Liverpool accent quite difficult to understand so if you’re a foreigner gaming here with limited English it might not be the best course of action. 
• Probably the least attractive city on the list from my perspective. 

Good Accommodation: 

• Novotel Liverpool City Centre- Right in the heart of Liverpool adjacent to most the best dating and daygame spots . 

Birmingham: 

Population : 1.1 million 

Advantages: 

• Aston University and Birmingham Uni make for good foot flow. 
• Harvey Nichols is a good daygame location 
• Accommodation and hotels some of the cheapest there is. 
• Strong population compared to the other cheap cities in the north too at 1.1 million . 

Cardiff: 

Population: 

360,000

Advantages: 

• Possible to get cheap accommodation right next to the major university campus and city centre. 
• Cardiff Uni and Cardiff met provide good student flow . 
• Possible to take girls to many awesome 3-4th date trips like Abergavenny .  

Disadvantages: 

• Literally some of the worst quality I’ve seen in the UK women wise. 

Good Date locations Cardiff: 

• Parallel Cardiff – Great tapas bar for intimate drinks in the city centre of Cardiff. 
• Uncommon ground Coffee Roastery- Located 10-12 royal Arcade Cardiff 

London: 

Population : 8 million 

Advantages: 

• Global City of 8 million people. 
• Literally more than 40 universities in London making for constantly changing foot flow each year. 
• 30 million tourists each year. 

Disadvantages: 

• Competitive with many high quality men in the city around 100,000 millionaires living in the city to be precise . 
• Decent hotels are extremely expensive ranging from £100-600 for great logistics. 

Further Reading On London: 

Areas to Approach in London Guide: 

Areas to Game Around London A full Analysis

Areas to Date around London Guide: 

Areas to Date Around London Further Spots : Part 2 Updated for 2023 

Areas To Date Around London-A Full Guide

Disclaimer – I am not a dating coach Im not selling any products or services for those interested in potential networking Im most of the time located in London, Dubai, San Fransisco or Monaco at least once a year I will be in this locations – Email: darrenpua1@gmail.com for more info please experienced people only I don’t have time to mentor complete newbs. All these thoughts are just my individual analysis that come from dating in Dubai for approximately 6 months. This guide is quite raw but should provide most of you with a guidance of what to do – what not to do . I will be adding to it and editing it as time goes on.

Advantages/Disadvantages  Of Dating in Dubai 

Dubai is a cosmopolitan city I myself personally met my girlfriend there and have been in a very happy relationship with her for the past two years. 

• City full of different races- look no matter what your race Dubai has it. Into Middle Easterners ? Dubai is packed full of Iranians that fled post  Islamic revolution Iran in addition to this a lot of Saudi Arabians and Lebanese .  Love Asians there’s plenty of Filipinos/Burmese/ Indonesians working here in addition to Chinese who are moving their assets away from Xi Xingping. Also a huge quantity of Russians/Ukrainians fleeing the war. Into Ebony? There are plenty of Nigerians, Kenyans , Sudanese etc. There’s something for literally everyone of every taste in Dubai.
• Huge foot flow and the potential for promiscuity – given there are so many people that come in and out of Dubai on a day to day basis due to the cities international flight connections of Emirates/ Etihad airline you’re going to get quite literally tens of thousands of women coming in and out of this country. 
• Large array of space/Date Locations- The opportunities for intimate dates in Dubai are plentyfull there’s always an empty hotel or coffee shop to have an intimate dates 
• Always new faces- You don’t have to worry about approaching the same people over and over again as there’s such a constant inflow of people with 19 million people flying into this city each year there’s always new people coming in   

Disadvantages : 

• Some areas have high security and approaching is not recommended but in general if you act with common sense you will be ok. 
• It’s expensive , getting good hotels and good logistics in good areas does cost money and is unfortunately pricey but that’s the way it is when you’re in a popular , rich tax haven similar to that of Singapore or Hong Kong. 

Good Date Locations First Date- : 

Again because of the vast landmass that Dubai is its very difficult to find the perfect date spot for everyone as a lot of the hotels and accommodation is dispersed over a wide area. I’ve tried to include date spots for every major “location” of Dubai but there are some hotels that maybe still quite a fair bit away from each of them I hope at least one of these is in a good area for you. 

Bluewaters- 

Full of spots that are both expensive and cheap this area has it all for those dating on a budget or looking for something more adventurous wether its a low investment coffee date , cheap eats or some higher end restaurants this area has it all It’s also situated near some lovely beaches and hotel bars that are good for adding additional locations to your date . 

Dubai Downtown- City Walk:  

Said Dal 19230- Located in Dubai Downtown this is a great spot for a low investment first date as the drinks here aren’t that pricey compared to other areas of Dubai and can still be seen as a fun unique little spot.  The advantage of this spot is its very near the international  Uni Campuses near the Canadian University of Dubai being the most prominent which is full of students all year round so can serve as a great instant date spot if your approaches go well.  Dubai City walk itself has loads of coffee shops, ice cream stalls etc. perfect for small low investment dates without breaking the bank.

JBR: JBR is just full of restaurants and coffee shops also packed full of hotels that themselves have their own bars . It’s a great place to move from different locations and really explore what Dubai has to offer with the women you’re dating. I’ve listed my ideal first date plan in JBR on the bottom of this blog. Really there’s such an extensive choice of places in JBR that my guidance really isn’t even necessary for “good locations” so to speak.

Nightime Sisha – Anatara The Palm Dubai- This is probably my favourite Sisha spot in Dubai . At night its often empty and isn’t too pricey for Sisha and drinks . Remember you don’t need to be staying at the hotel to be allowed to dine or drink here. You can walk through the hotel and that itself is a nice spectacle after drinks or before. You can also book the tennis courts here without even staying at the hotel a good possible 2nd – 3rd Date. Anatara pictured below is just an all and all wonderful location in the nighttime there are also many restaurants and other hotels adjacent to it so you won’t run out of options going here.

Project Chaiwala: 

Located at: Alserkal Avenue, Warehouse 68 – Dubai 

If you’re located nearer the Dubai Hills and found yourself a bit far from both JBR and Dubai Downtown this can be a decent location for a first date. The tea is excellent and the vibe is good. There are also a lot of small shops and stalls nearby to go to as second and third locations on the same date. 

Raw Coffee Company: 

Located at : Warehouse Next to RTA Carpark WH10, Cnr 7A and 4A Street – Al Quoz – Al Manara – Dubai – If my other locations are too far from the area you’re staying consider the Raw Coffee Company a great first date spot ideal for weekend mornings or any date in the mornings . A low pressure environment decent for a coffee. The problem being with this location is you will likely need to take a taxi to the other locations after the date but still a worthwhile place to take a girl sometimes a good date to take a girl the morning after a lay . The coffee is excellent and the breakfast is of great quality.

Cat Cafes– If you’re dating an introverted girl/animal lover a cat cafe might be unique area to take a girl for the first date. As a low invesment low pressure date it could be a good idea particularly if you yourself don’t drink:
– Cat Cafe Vibrissae – Al Safa Park Complex 

Meowtropolis Cat Cafe- Lake Shore Tower 

Again I Don’t really recommend these as “prime date locations” but for certain introverted/ animal loving women it might be a good first date location or a second date location if you had trouble really getting through to her on the first.

Dubai International Finance Centre: 

This area hasn’t got the best foot flow but is packed with coffee shops and cheap eats. 

The following 4 coffee shops are in the DIFC area- 

Ritz-Carlton DIFC– Great area for a coffee / Drink 

The Sunken Garden- Nice place for a low pressure first date coffee/ small meal . 

EL&N London – DIFC Dubai–  I posted this coffee shop before hand several times during my Areas to Date around London guide  this is also a good area in Dubai international finance centre for a “low investment” coffee date. 

CAFE Bateel– DIFC Dubai another good coffee shop here for a first date in DIFC. 

Pristino Coffee– This is once again another good coffee shop for a first date in DIFC located next to Cafe Bateel with good outdoor and indoor seating .

Raffles Dubai – Good Hotel with a lot of discrete little libraries , galleries and bars. With around 6 different bars and restaurants located in this hotel itself there’s plenty to go . 

Address Hotels– Theres roughly 6 Address hotels in Dubai and they are fantastic for coffee, drinks and food with great sofa areas. If there’s one near you I highly recommend them for a lunch date at least. 

Good Date Locations for the Second Date: 

I don’t want to turn this into a “ food blog”  post as this is primarily a dating advice blog but for good locations ill list some here .  Theres also a great few YouTube channels about special restaurants and top rated places  in Dubai for the latest top rated spots be sure to check out these : 

https://www.youtube.com/@PeymanAlAwadhi/videos

https://www.youtube.com/@dubaicalendar8322/videos

Whenever you’re day gaming in an area do some research In the area and the good date spots you can go to in the respective area

Restaurant Dates- If you’ve already got the lay or are confident a nice restaurant date maybe something to help build rapport – my personal favourite restaurants in Dubai are : 

Cheap but memorable eats- https://vietnamesefoodies.com/downtown-dubai/ again for a night date this a cool place to have some food in an area which isn’t particularly crowded . Again a quiet but good quality place will provide some decent intimacy without breaking the bank. 

https://www.zomato.com/dubai/wakha-al-barsha/menu Again another cheap eat and something different to take your girl in comparison to other date locations around the UAE the food is excellent . 

Pricier Date Locations for high budgets – 

https://orfalibros.com/

Orfali Brothers Dubai

Again interesting food and something unique for the girl to experience for higher end restaurants I would only usually take a girl if you’ve already at least slept with her to avoid the “provider frame” narrative. 

Again another one of my favourite high end restaurants good for 2nd-3rd dates when you’ve already got the lay: 

https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g295424-d7257524-Reviews-Tresind_Dubai-Dubai_Emirate_of_Dubai.html

The best thing about this location is there’s many bars in the same building of the restaurant which provide a great deal of follow through locations. 

Dubai Mall: 

You don’t need me to write a guide on the good dating locations here there are tonnes of coffee shops here. I also think a good little spot is the Address Dubai Mall which is a great little spot for couches and a place to eat that is away from the madness of the Dubai mall .They also serve great coffee too other good spots include Arabica located in Dubai mall but to be honest a big mall like this you’re easy finding a spot to date . A good date plan would be to take a woman on a date to the Arabica coffee shop and then follow through to the Address or one of the other numerous restaurants for drinks . 

Areas to Meet People: 

Dubai Mall: 

Obviously for foot flow nothing really beats Dubai mall- there’s foot flow here all the time quite literally from the opening to the close. This is probably the best spot in the middle east to daygame due to sheer number of people that visit this location. Outside the mall can get extremely busy too . A good spot is the Waitrose located inside Dubai mall too usually packed full of people doing food shopping all day long .  

JBR/ BlueWaters: 

This area tends to come alive at the night-time with a great foot flow and just a lot of people  . Easy to navigate without the reliance of a car this is a prime location for all those who want a good nighttime gaming spot. 

Mall of the Emirates : 

Mall of the Emirates situated on the other side of Dubai there are large supermarkets here most notably Carfeour 

https://www.malloftheemirates.com/en/find-a-store/carrefour which is packed full of people all times of the day. The mall itself is decent – no where near as large as Dubai mall but still with a decent footlfow. Some may find Dubai mall too overwhelming and the appeal of a quieter environment of Mall of the Emirates. 

Inside Hotels: 

Even if you’re not staying in hotels usually they have a huge foot flow in comparison with European ones due to the sheer amount of weddings etc. Any Address branded hotel should have a decent high quality foot flow other hotels too in the JBR area  or even the Atlantis usually have a large amount of tourists there for weddings from my experience .  https://www.addresshotels.com/en/ for the full list of Address hotels.

Dubai City Walk- 

During the day outside the Canadian University of Dubai there’s plenty of students around . At night  is still a decent foot flow here as well as many coffee shops for an instant date. 

Dubai international Finance Centre/ Trade Centre Area : The area around the EL&N London DIFC area has a good foot flow at night . There are many good spots for instant dates all around you most notably Ninve which is a great place for a drink at night . During the day this area can be pretty empty so I prefer it at night for the best atmosphere. 

Gate Village building : Unit C-01, Ground Floor, Gate Village Building 9 – Dubai – United Arab EmiratesOutside a restaurant called  Avil by Tashas (https://www.avlibytashas.com- is a location that’s packed at night with great quality foot flow . My preferred spot for nighttime gaming. An area also full of restaurants and bars so all in all great for both approaching and dating. 

Outside Restaurant Village Four Seasons Resort: This area is great for night time gaming and is full of coffee shops and bars . There are around 5-10 restaurants located here including salt bae that usually have a great foot flow most nights also where the infamous Salt Bae Dubai is located so just google that and you’ll get here .

Logistics Dos and Don’ts : 

Avoid other emirates like Sharjah, Abu Dhabi etc. These places might have cheaper accommodation but you’ll be so isolated and will spend more money in terms of transportation as taxis are on average expensive in the UAE. 

Avoid the poorer areas of Dubai like Deira anything near this side of Dubai you’re likely located more around the working class districts and the poorer region these areas will likely have poorer quality women – predominantly the working class slave workers like the Burmese, Pakistanis, Indians and Filipinos. You’re unlikely to find any high quality tourists in these parts but be careful when booking hotels in Dubai because the cheapest and best value tend to be situated around this Deira area and will be around a 30 minute drive from the decent dating spots. Similar to Abu Dhabi which has a lot of good value 3-4 star hotels that are around 20-30 minute drives still from the major dating spots so be self aware of this before you book don’t let the good price of the hotel deceive you from where you are in situation to the best dating locations

Ideally you want to be somewhere near the areas of major foot flow this will be either Dubai Mall/Dubai Downtown  or JBR . These areas are the easiest by far in terms of foot flow and offer the most instant date opportunities . These areas are of course expensive but will save you on taxi rides or possible commute times. If you’re going to book a hotel in a cheaper area make sure you at least lease a car so you can drive to the high populated areas (car rental is reasonable and petrol is cheap) relying on taxis will get expensive over time.  If you have an unlimited budget just book the Address Dubai mall as you will quite literally be right next to all the action. 

Simplistic Date plans – 

Whilst Dubai is a large land mass its vitally important you organise your dates in advance so they are well planned and logical . Failure to do so could well have a negative impact on your date and too much time spent in taxis going from A to B

Simple Three step location date plan in Dubai JBR  – 

Whilst  I was in Dubai I followed a similar date plan for all of my dates that involved a coffee meet up initially in Jumeriah Beach Arabica then followed by mini golf then a nice poke bowl with a great night view . This is my plan for every first dates I had in Dubai and is adventurous without being too expensive and can create an element of fun and excitement whilst being a good opportunity to show your leadership. 

Step 1.  

Meetup Location – % ARABICA DUBAI JBR, Dubai Marina – Dubai – United Arab Emirates. This is outdoors so puts a lot less pressure on the girl and is great at all times during the day. Even for a quick first coffee date this is an ideal place to meet up . 

Step 2. 

Meet at 3d Backlight Minigolf this area is a whole 1 minute away from the Arabica cafe and means you don’t have to travel far in the heat with the girl you’re with . It’s also an easy , efficient way to garner two different locations in your date again the more locations you can fit in your dates usually the better as psychologically it has the potential to make the girl believe you and her have spent more time together than you actually have done.  This mini golf game area is in a series of dark lit rooms too which could offer the ideal route for escalation if the girl is feeling your vibe too. 

Step 3. 

Afterwards the usual plan is for a third location which my personal favourite in this area is to head for a meal located in Dolce Green Bluewaters Island – HA building level one – Unit number HA 017  this is located around 20 minutes walk from the 3d Backlight Minigolf . The key with this set up is even though its a food place they do good smoothies and have bean bags in which you can sit and admire the viewpoints. Usually I will end the first date here but if things are still going well there are plenty of bars and restaurants on the beaches nearby. 

Further 3rd Dates and Onwards

If you feel your relationship with your partner is going well and want better long term dating options then trips to Abu Dhabi and Fujairah maybe worthwhile .

Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai, San Fransisco  or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value.

2 Step Dates : 

Coffee Then Bar Date : Refer To my Previous Guide For what’s the best date setup for you. Remember this can vary for girl to girl and who you like . IF you like drunk ass party girls then obviously more alcohol based dates are for you . If you want to play more of a long game then providing a variety of different locations can set your woman up for unique experiences while keeping things interesting and fresh for you too. If you’re under time constraint or the woman is leaving and you want the lay then pushing for some bars near where you live is always the most optimal approach. Match what you like to your date location . Dont feel forced to go somewhere purely because the local player got a 100 lays at one bar and now you feel obliged to take your ultra conservative girl on a  date there. Similarly read how she’s feeling. If she’s really shy an activity date may help to bring her personality out a bit more rather than Liam McRae style rapid escalation . Every woman is different and one  date might work for one might fail horrifically for another .  Also this depends on what your relationship goals are whether you’re looking for a LTR or  Short term fling- for women you’re looking for a more long term thing with you may want  to ease it off and play things cooler. This is advisable particularly if you know the woman is committing to your city for a long period of time for example she is completing one year of her three year degree course. If this example is the case you most probably don’t want a rapid escalation back to yours first date. 

Dates to Avoid: 

Any emphasis on politics:  For obvious reasons make sure there’s nothing affecting your date in political terms. For example one failure date I had was taking my first date with a Czech  to a gallery which had strongly political themed art. This was a huge mistake which derailed the date and made her upset about the images and artwork involved which completely killed the vibe. You don’t want any date location that can potentially build up any political discussion its just not a first date topic and can more often than not ruin things. 

Film Dates: For obvious reasons just no real opportunity to talk and get to know her . 

Dates in Locations where other people will get in the way :  For example it’s not a good idea to take a woman somewhere that’s overly packed  like a bar during a football match or an overly loud place where you can’t hear her . This could be seen as basic common sense but its something to thing about . Avoid generic dating locations in very busy areas like Soho especially on the weekends where you might find seating hard to come by . 

Matching Dates to the Personality: 

Matching a date to the perspective girl you’re dating’s personality is always a good mode of thinking. You don’t want to put a conservative girl in a nightclub with raging  loud music nor an introverted girl somewhere that will bore you and kill the vibe. If you’re struggling to get something out of the girls personality after speaking to her maybe try an activity to bring out her personality a bit more like for example mini golf.  If you’re dating a fitness /yogi girl picking a high end organic coffee shop like Daylesford or whole foods might be a good way to score extra points. Try and read her and maybe gage from her instagram what seems to like and maybe use a date idea that can replicate her interests. 

Russell Square: 

Russell Square is an area at the forefront of 4 Major University campuses its therefore a place where if you’re day gaming you want to have insta dates with students on your objective.  

Qima Coffee shop- This coffee shop is striking, eloquent and an interesting place to take a woman for a low key first date. Close to most the major universities this is a good spot to have if you’re approaching women around the campuses and are need of a good instant date spot . There’s also plenty of outdoor seating so in the summer this can be a huge plus granted it can potentially get crowded during the week so make sure you have a second back up option nearby if this is the case or simply purchase a coffee to go from here and just go for a walk to the main square and sit down and talk.  

Piccadilly:

  A quick coffee at whole foods Piccadilly  for the first part of the date followed by a drink at the Fallow which is beautiful bar with decent British style food. A third date location after this could be Barffina nearby .  Piccadilly whole foods is an easy location for a coffee date and is a great place to take tourists especially those visiting London for the first time. Bear in mind though on the weekend these places can be difficult to go to for dating so if you’re pre planning a bar on the weekend in Piccadilly its’s best to call up in advance and prebook a spot. 

Covent Garden Coffee To Bar:  Get a Coffee at % Arabica followed by some wine or Tapas at Barfina . Easy two step date option.  

Mayfair -Coffee To Bar  Dates: 

I find Mayfair a good choice as it tends to be emptier than Soho/Covent Garden Areas. 

Take them Guiliam Coffee Shop  , great location for a first date followed by a drink at the Churchill Cigar Lounge. Next to the Churchill Cigar lounge there are several hotels that serve alcohol deep into the night. 

Mayfair Kitchen: This is a fantastic drinks spot with plenty of good seating. Great for a night cocktail it’s a perfect second or third spot if you’re dating around this area. 

An alternative interesting spot is the coffee shop Shot  which is very popular especially amongst middle eastern women followed by bounce to Manetta’s bar which opens from 4pm. Perfect way to move from a non-alcohol date to an alcohol one whilst keeping the premise of you being the “leader” of the date . 

Charing Cross: 

Page8 Hotels is a lovely bar located approximately 6 minutes away from Charing Cross station. This is a spacious coffee place that closes at 6pm but seeing as its attached to hotel the area where the coffee is served never really “closes” as such so the date can last far beyond the 6pm closure time. Near the closure time this place starts to empty up which is great for escalation . This can be followed by a restaurant bounce  to Orrery of course taking women to boogie restaurants isn’t for everyone but I think for a weekday lunch this is an excellent spot for a second or third date or maybe a date for a woman after sex . 

KnightsBridge-

 Coffee To Bar Dates: 

The big advantage of Knightsbridge is it’s the place where the coffee shops close the latest. This is arguably the best place in London to have an alcohol free date late at night even as late as 9-10pm so if your day job finishes late this is still a very good option as El﹠N and L’Eto shut very late here around 11pm .Furthermore there are Sisha bars that close around 10pm-12am  like Cavalli lounge or 17 on Sloane  so its a prime location for keeping a date and bouncing to other locations late into the night without being too crowded or overwhelming for the girl.  A lot of people are worried that Knightsbridge is too much of an expensive location but there are still reasonably priced coffee shops in this area that I’ve already listed.  

Knoops Knightsbridge -a decent hot chocolate place (also serving  hot chocolate )  that  isn’t too pricy and the perfect spot for a low time investment date that won’t come across too boring. After this take her to Hawksmoor for a drink – there’s a bar area in this restaurant.  Knightsbridge has a tonne of coffee options most notably EL a N and numerous cake shops including L-Eto as previously mentioned . 

Furthermore at the time of writing this (7th November 2023) there is a Shot Knightsbridge a very popular coffee chain being under construction and that maybe a good place to take women out on an instant date. 

Saddle Coffee shop is also another beautiful Emryati  coffee place which  opened in Knightsbridge this year and  is another great place to take women that you cold approach in Harrods and Selfridges for an instant date. It’s also a good place to possibly take students on an instant date from that you  approach at Imperial collage. 

Alternatively there are numerous coffee places and bars in Harrods you can take women although be mindful if dating on weekends Friday/ Saturday/Sunday its likely to be very crowded which could make getting seats at the right time difficult – you never want a venue to be too packed or else you risk not being able to hear the girl speak or running into other problems. 

Marylebone  Date Ideas: 

Coffee Shops you can chose – Daylesford Organic – always a nice spot to take a woman out for a coffee especially those who are into health and fitness. Then nearby you have loads of options for bars nearby my personal favourite as I wrote in the other guide is the Churchill cigar lounge  or Nobu Hotel has a fantastic bar area downstairs which isn’t too expensive and is a great place to grab a wine and never gets too packed with excellent seating too ideal for escalation .   Alternatively a good instant date spot is inside Selfridges in the food court area there’s a lovely juice bar with good seating an ideal dating spot you can bounce after to Nobu or one of the numerous bars located within Selfridges  itself. 

Alternatively there is Modern Coffee a good swanky brunch spot which can followed by a bounce to  108 Brasserie, the advantage of 108 Brasserie is that you can have food with the girl then lead her to many of the cocktail bars located within the restaurant.  Remember in dates you want to vary as many different places as possible to make the date seem more adventurous and psychologically this will make your relationship, trust and rapport seem “ longer” for the girl if you go to many different spots and locations. 

South Kensington : 

Again the area outside museum and imperial college has a good outflow of students  so finding a good place to take them for a coffee should be planned in advance in case you strike the instant date.  El a N South Kensington is fantastic coffee spot or L’eto . You can then lead them to Hawksmour Knightsbbridge for a drink after too .  Guilam Coffee house is my personal favourite location here even though there are other additional good spots located . This is a great spot to take for example students from Imperial Collage on an instant date. 

Shoreditch/ Liverpool Street  : 

Boxpark Shoreditch is a fantastic place to take a girl for a low investment lunch. Although on the weekends this can be a very crowded place and not necessarily  ripe for escalation. 

EATLY Liverpool Street is also a fantastic coffee shop that has wine bars located on the upper floors . You can bounce to different locations in the venue itself as its packed with a lot of restaurants. Start with a low investment coffee then build your way towards a drink at the bar if the date is going well. 

Other date ideas can be going to % Arabica London Spitalfields followed by a walk to Spitalfields market itself and grabbing a bite to eat. Bear in mind on the weekends these places might get absolutely packed so intimacy can be difficult to obtain. If so have some smaller coffee shops with less seating in mind as a backup if dating in Liverpool Street on the weekends. 

Sloane Square : 

I posted most of my prime date locations in the other London dating guide but Lorian Delicatessen  is a great place to take women on the weekdays bear in mind this place shuts at 5pm most days but is a good open space with plenty of room for  intimacy on a date. 

Cafe Kitsune at Pantechnicon is another great place that serves French and Japense fusion confectionery . The impressive architectural  design will hopefully keep women in awe and make for a good low investment coffee date with plenty of nearby shish bars or cocktail bars nearby to the venue in both knightsbridge and Sloane Square  if you’re in need of a bounce . 

Vardo Chelsea Restaurant: This is another good coffee shop perfect for low investment summer time dates. Also nearby a lot of other bars its a good starting location for any Sloane Square based date. 

Islington: 

Megan’s at the sorting Office Restaurant. Ok, not everyone is a fan of Megan’s but the area this coffee place/restaurant in is good making a good starting point you’re literally surrounded by bars or other adjacent coffee shops and restaurant and the area is slick and perfect for a date 

Kings Cross : 

Redemption Roasters: Again a  stereotypical coffee shop but it’s a great place to take a girl on an instant date especially if you’re gaming near the art university of UAL . There are plenty of other cocktail bars near you for a second  bounce. 

Tottenham Court Road : 

The bar area in The Radisson Blu Kenilworth Hotel- this bar area I find to be the most spacious and underrated in London . Perfect for a quiet and intimate drinking date with a girl its defiantly a fantastic location and one which can provide a good opportunity for escalation if things are going well. 

Hope this article helps. Again there is a huge amount of choice in London whilst I can’t obviously list every date location I think I’ve listed some of the best spots to provide as a base for your dates which you yourselves can build upon. Make sure for each spot you pick you have another two locations lined up incase things go well. This will enable you to go on more of a“journey” with the woman involved and build rapport with her.  Always plan your dates – have a good structure in place if you feel the woman is enjoying the occasion don’t be afraid to switch to another venue to broaden the sense of excitement and adventure on the date. 

For Networking Email darrenpua1@gmail.com – Disclaimer- Im NOT a dating coach ,  Im a dating blogger from London, I do not sell coaching programmes or “self help” courses Im just here to post my views and perspectives on dating , relationships and sexual dynamics. Im an avid day-gamer and lover of sexual and relationship dynamics and use this blog to share the information from cold approach that I’ve learnt over the years. I hang out predominantly in London (where I’m currently based) , Dubai and Nice (South Of France) sometimes Texas/California and South Korea so if you’re from any of these cities/countries hit me up! 

It came to me the other day a post on my Instagram in reply to a reel  made by The Natural Lifestyles dating coach  Alex Leon. During which he claimed that money was only “ 2 percent “ of attraction between men and women – the cheek really. I found this astoundingly poor advice and something that could fuck up men’s perspectives if they took it seriously. 

Also before I continue you I must stress you should never take any dating coaches perspectives too seriously- you need to analyse them all and scrutinise them to a Tee – mine included obviously ( and im not a dating coach just a relationship  blogger at best buffoon at worst ) 

Political Implications of Money in relationships 

In order to analyse the implications of money in relationships you need different metrics- the country you’re in, the personality of the nationality of girls there, how money is perceived by said culture, the income equality between men and women in said country all of these are important metrics to consider. Also compare this to the women of nationalities YOU enjoy. For example if you love Chinese women then being on minimum wage in the UK is enough for you to be in the top 10-20 percent income profiles in China. Similarly in Latin America $18500 a year income is enough for you to make it into the “ Upper Class” of Argentina so someone earning minimum wage in the UK will also be considered a “top tier” earner in Argentina .

Then what about Left Leaning countries? Countries which- women’s incomes are high or increasing. I take the Nordic countries as an example of this as women make considerably more on average than most countries in the world. These countries Norway, Finland, Sweden and Denmark I see more of a reverse in male and female polarity this is reflected by my experiences dating Swedish/Danish women where there is seemingly been 0 expectation for me to lead the date and one occasion where a Swedish girl got insulted when I tried to pay for the coffee during a date. Of course there will be exceptions to this rule once again but it’s a trend I’ve certainly clocked.   

So what’s the point of this analysis ? Well the political ideology of women in dating is somewhat relevant as I’ve noticed trends in left leaning countries where the urge for men to pay on the first date, buy the girl things , lead the girl is somewhat lacking to a degree contrary  in more conservative leaning countries. Of course there are exceptions to the rule as I stressed before but this is just a trend I’ve noticed in my Time dating women from different cultures.  So the conclusion? Some cultures will expect more which in turn means you’ll need to spend more money .

The dating coaches who say “money doesn’t matter” 

Overtime a number of coaches who’ve stated money is obsolete In attraction. Some who’ve said this include: RyanBlack, Sasha Day-game  and Alex Leon  To a degree they’re sometimes right but I don’t think this idea bears much fruit longterm.  Especially in LTRs and marriages which these coaches completely forget about also it can somewhat be negligent as an LTR or marriage is a realistic aim for a lot of men in dating. Not all want to hook up forever and in order for a relationship to be maintained long term you do need some sort of financial stability to foster. 

Money is an intrinsic part of women’s dating strategy , it’s not the be all and end all by any means but its pretty damn well important . You need money for real true longevity in relationships, from traveling with your partner to having money for kids so it’s therefore completely foolish to dismiss this paradigm or as Alex Leon classifies as “2 percent of attraction” .  Of course this doesn’t mean that broke guys can’t and won’t achieve success in the sexual marketplace quite the contrary Ive seen some broke guys do hella better than myself and really dominate the sexual market place . But I’ve also seen rich guys do very well and use their wealth to “seal the deal” so to speak- Im  convinced that high wealth can- and will always remain a strong part of attraction which I will aim to prove with the rest of this article. 

Geographical patterns of Money and Accumulation of hot women 

If money doesn’t matter why do women flock to cities where money is abundant? Think about it, take London as a prime example, why do the hottest women live in the richest areas? Kensington , Knightsbridge and Sloane Square these places are the three cities with the hottest chicks by far and they are three of the wealthiest areas of London. You’re trying to tell me that women don’t to some degree follow the money?  Take Dubai as a prime example a lot of women there that are seeking out wealthy husbands.  And then there’s the US…. With New York and California  the wealthiest states and  still places where a lot of high value women flock too and I hazard a guess the monumental wealth of these cities has something to do with it. 

On the contrary look at how women move and migrate. How many hot women move to Dubai then say Eastern Europe like Ukraine  (just assume this is pre the war) or Hungary- why? Because the men in these  countries are too broke for these women to find a high quality mate . When you look geographically as Nick Krauser once stated its best that women move west and that men move east.  Your average Joe in London will have a much easier time dating out of his league in Vietnam for example than London and your 6 ft 2 Russian model is better off cashing that fertility in in London or New York.  More importantly very few women migrate from the West to the East. Pretty telling no? How many women go from the UK into a LTR with Thai men? For example , no where near the amount of men that go  from the UK to Thailand to pick up Thai brides which is  overwhelming higher than the amount of women that come to Thailand to marry Thai men – of course there are exceptions when I was Thailand I did meet a few women from the western countries that were dating Thai guys but the general trend does sit firmly in place . Similarly with the Korean/ Vietnamese brides situation- there are a colossal amount amount of Korean men who go to poor areas of Vietnam and hover up the women for marriage there. Compare that to the amount Vietnamese men that are slaying Korean pussy and the comparison makes me feel that there are socio economic factors in place in the dating world . 

Analysing the Data of how money can be pivotal to Dating in the Global Sexual Marketplace:  Using two documentaries one shown in South Korea the other shown In Thailand it’s easy to understand the effects wealth can have on women. In the British documentary  by Louis Theroux on Thai Brides listed below  the old mentally ill guy despite not even being wealthy and living in a rental house in some suburb of the UK is still able to attract some interest goes to show that some women would deal with a bat shit crazy guy if it meant leaving from the social trap that is working class in Thailand. The other video is a more common relationship dynamic between Old Korean working class men and Vietnamese brides. Those Korean men who are unable to compete in the sexual market place against the more demanding Korean women lose out and will resort to countries in which their sexual market value appears higher than in Korea. Of course the nearest countries with fertile women are working class Vietnamese and Filipino women. We see alot of interracial marriage between Vietnamese and Korean I noticed this while I was studying Korean that my textbook even used the names of Vietnamese people rather than Korean confirming most likely that it was book to teach Vietnamese immigrants in Korea… anyway I digress. The trends are there anyway even the text books are prepping you for it. 

But are goldigging whores much better than women with genuine desire? 

This is an interesting question/ point of view. From the data analysed from interracial marriages between Koreans and Vietnamese brides their divorce rate is similar to that of regular Korean couples, coincidence? (Watch the documentary for proof)  Maybe insinuating that these gold digger types that PUA coaches warn us of are just as loyal/disloyal. Maybe money could be the glue that holds things together? Considering so many divorces in the western world are caused by financial stress it’s easy to see why women might just flock and stay in a dysfunctional relationship with a rich man as opposed to a passionate one of genuine desire with a poor man. Some women most definitely regard wealth as a form of safety and why wouldn’t they? From an evolutionary biological perspective it absolutely makes sense for a woman to date a rich man especially if they have kids. They’ll want the best for them wouldn’t they? They would want private school for the kids for example , good housing for them etc. Is a broke passionate musician or someone else going to provide them that? Unlikely. 

Are women wrong to be “gold diggers”? 

In theory no, I mean look it at the women’s perspective they are aged between 18-29 for their peak years at best, of course they want to cash out with a man that’s financially stable and can provide them with financial support. Especially when they’re pregnant the majority are  not going to  want a broke guy looking after them. They want money so they can have a good life and that their children can have one too. Whats wrong with that? Money is important and serves as a gap in relationships without a sizeable chunk of cash its difficult to also see a relationship truly develop well and be sustainable.  Most Pua coaches are coming from a place of quick hookups rather than looking at what is actually needed for a sustainable long term dating perspective so its important for them to downplay this factor as a “stereotype” but a lot of stereotypes exist because there are prime examples that have contributed to creating that whether its Thai Brides, Vietnamese brides or that fat businessman in Dubai marrying a slim Russian woman. There is definite truth there.  

Women will always fight for the best for themselves and the best future for their children if they have them . The reality is we are all wired to be selfish and greedy so why wouldn’t we take the most attractive offer on the table ?And usually that involves financial security. Women will fight for it , a future for themselves and their children? Why wouldn’t they. Why do they need to resign the possibility of making more money from jealous men or red pill lovers online? They don’t give a shit about people who analyse the situation behind the laptops like me nor do they really care much about red pill reddit. These things they honestly don’t really care about and why would they? They have no incentive to , they want to protect themselves and their family and their children. They don’t care about the criticism from conservative men or men who want them to be loved “just the way they are” 

So why do PUA coaches emphasise that money isn’t important? Is it to attract more clients – maybe? After all if you paint the picture that all that matters is “vibe” you can attract the low SMV clients into some positive thinking and I guess a positive approach to something and expecting that all women will suck your wang even if you’re financially unstable there will be a portion of women that will see that as a turn off and you’ll lose them. You won’t lose “ALL” women of course but still. Im replying to the coaches that say “money doesn’t matter at all” when it most obviously is an attractive point. 

PUAING girls from the third world compared to the first world examples :

My experiences with wealth impacting  my dating experience, coming from a relatively upper class place in London I felt it didn’t really make much of difference in London given that there are around 100,000 millionaires in this city.  No one particularly gave a shit that I had money bar one SDL that I got when I was 24 after a night club who complimented that I had a big house (which wasn’t mine it was my mothers anyway) . Aside from this wealth I didn’t really make much of difference in London primarily due to the fact that everyone around me was already wealthy therefore wealth was deemed nothing special I especially found this to be true whilst attending private school in London –  no one seemed to give a shit if you were wealthy because everyone pretty much was. No girl really gave a much shits back then but then when you have the pleasure and comfort of living in a city like London with a high middle class and a high number of wealthy elite your perceptions are skewed.  

It did however make a huge difference when dating in certain third world countries, I had a brief stint in Myanmar for example I was able to date a beautiful Burmese woman on tinder and I believe my status as a westerner was the primary reason (she still wanted to split everything though) but I most definitely wouldn’t have dated her in London.  End of the day geography matters for both men and women. Some nations or cities will be full of cock and high earning men like London or New York. Others will be full of attractive females who will have relatively low expectations compared to rich western nations  like Vietnam and China  It’s important to evaluate these perspectives and what fits best with you based on where you are living.  Why was I able to date a hot woman in Myanmar so quickly? Is it because I’m amazing? No its because there are 10s of thousands of less attractive men in Myanmar quite literally. The competition is much lower , its not even conceivable . Also the bulk of Burmese people are broke as fuck – if you’re earning minimum wage in the UK you’re a big catch in Myanmar. 

However  its not always linear like this I approached a lot of poor filipinos in Saudi Arabia and Dubai with a white English attractive wingman and I got blown out by every single one , of course I don’t believe every woman is automatically hypergamous . I don’t expect every single  girl to fall head over heels for me due to my passport. It would be a ridiculous expectation and wouldn’t make much sense.  But there’s definitely a trend which comes with having a “strong passport” in third world countries. Of course you might get blown out as some women might see you as taking advantage with your position as a westerner which low and behold I was. 

Lack of Money does Diminish Men’s Sexual Market Value. 

Like let’s be clear, lack of financial stability does harm your long term attractiveness scale to certain women . But also causes harm in other ways too – 

• Men who lack financial resources have less money to spend on romantic/ interesting dates- if you want to keep a relationship interesting and exciting you have to do more interesting shit and money is a key component to being able to lead the girl to various locations and make things more interesting. 
• Men who lack money most likely will have worse logistics when it comes to dating increasing the chance of LMr. This was somewhat a problem when I was doing day-game in London I found a trend between poor logistics and LMR. Although it wasn’t the definitive factor by any means but it did make securing the lay harder. 
• Men who have less money In general will have less to spend on good quality food and nutrition making them less likely to maintain SMV – Yes you need to keep your health in check and having money to do this is important. 
• Lack of money means you’ll have less to spend on coaching / travel and therefore less able to make yourself lead a dynamic and interesting lifestyle- having puaed with a lot of broke wingmen the broke ones obviously have less chance to improve their SMV and become more “interesting” which is definitely a cause for concern- for long term SMV you really do need money as a man to continue to become more dynamic and improve. 
• Lack of money means less money to spend on fashion which could diminish SMV – fashion being one of the easiest ways to improve sexual market value 
• Could lead to you being less adventurous, you won’t be able to take women on more variety of dates and will be limited to a certain type of date which could be deemed repetitive and boring- i.e. the same bland coffee date at Pret A Manger for example. 

Does too much money make men lazy? 

Id say so – I don’t have stats to back it up but if you live too much of a pampered lifestyle this could lead to laziness and falling into a gold digger trap. Ive seen a lot of rich finance guys fall into this . Having something to strive for and being proactive about your dating problems will nearly always trump having a lot of money and at the end of the day nothing matters more than consistent approaches money can amplify the effects of consistent approaching and increase your lays but its not the be all and end all. Ive had nice logistics before and failed miserably I’ve also slept in hostel beds and been successful .  But I’ve found having too much financial success or too much going on  with business can cause you to feel demotivated to some degree. 

Spending money on “great logistics” 

I have to say in my PUA trips the most productive I was was when I had poor logistics compared to good ones. Shit logistics like a hostel or a tiny one bedroom apartment made me more proactive and want to go meet people whereas good logistics like a luxury apartment made me lazy and unproductive  . Having loads of cash on a PUA trip – getting the best logistics out there isn’t necessarily going to lead to more dates as I soon found out- at the core nothing beats a good – strong work ethic.  I had my best day-game successes in Shanghai when I was staying at a hostel I was very proactive going out every night. In contrast I had some very nice logistics in Dubai right next to a university with a fabulous apartment and failed to garner a single date in a month due to not working hard enough. This isn’t knocking on good logistics though if you’ve got good logistics make sure you utilise them to your advantage with a strong work ethic. Without a decent work effort to back up what you have you’ll struggle to make the most of what you got.  That said good logistics can provide “safety” and reassurances for the girl in comparison to bad ones. If you can afford better its nearly always better to have such. 

Are Dating Coaches somewhat hypocrites?

A good chunk of dating coaches say money doesn’t matter but spend their time puaing in poor economic countries ( something I’ve done myself ) Look at James Marshall’s first pua book entitled the “limitless seducer”  his most impressive lays were in 2008 Ukraine when he used myspace to bang Ukrainian chicks. He literally exploited his own status as an Aussie and went to the third world to fuck women earning £150 an average monthly salary . This eventually even backfires on him as the really hot Ukrainian girl he ends up marrying seems to just use him in a marriage  to go to Australia where she seemingly cheats on him with other more prestigious guys all In all this is just an example of how prominent dating coaches use the third world to maximise their sexual market value and take the most advantage. Of course there are other examples by the fact that almost all of The Natural Lifestyles coaching is run in Eastern Europe which is prominently full of low income women I feel this is done intentionally to induce maximum chance for their clients and the coaches themselves to secure lays.  Furthermore Alex Leon of The natural Lifestyles runs Tilted Officials which again relies on employing Ukrainian women and giving them holidays  I mean would tilted work if it employed American or UK women Im not so sure . John Antony seemingly spends the majority of his time now in Brazil and Tom Torero/Nick Krauser were both entirely situated in Eastern Europe coaching there also Tom Torero spent a good period of time coaching people in Singapore which is a country known for its low Sexual market Value men  in terms of PUA skill and social skill who are often on compulsory military duty (thus greatly decreasing the competition for women )  I don’t see Tom Torero running any daygame dating workshops in Rome-  Italy or Paris-France he probably knew full well that these cities were full of confident men therefore chose not to coach here and chose easier environments instead.  

These are examples of course but if the experts of the industry and the people with the most experience are hanging in these areas and playing to their strengths in this way then so should you. 

Divorce and the Financial Issues that cause relationship breakdown 

Simply speaking- a lot of divorces are caused by financial pain.  According to this clickbait article made by a bunch of most likely greedy divorce lawyers 29 percent of divorces are caused by financial issues  https://www.thejimenezlawfirm.com/what-percent-of-marriages-end-in-divorce-because-of-money/ Agin this in someway  shows the importance of financial security for relationships , LTRs and marriages . Theres no doubt that financial issues will cause some long term relationship insecurity. Once again this could be a simple way to argue against those who say money doesn’t matter in dating. If not then why are so many divorces ensued by financial issues? 

Conclusions: 

I write a lot of PUA content to challenge existing theories PUA coaches make its something I love to do , my reasonings are its always important to be rational when analysing everyones belief systems especially that of PUA coaches. You don’t want to be overly hung up on one persons opinion and remember that at the end of the day the coaches want to sell you shit and giving you false hope is part of their process of selling you shit. So please don’t fall or become obsessed with their ideologies too much . It’s just going to fuck you up to become a carbon copy of them without thinking for yourself. You need to do your own approaches, do a tonne of day-game, date a lot of women from different races and come to your own conclusions. My opinion is that Alex Leon was wrong to say that wealth is “2 percent” of attraction. It most definitely is not , id put it at least to 30 percent. Looking at the sheer amount of divorces caused by financial issues  , the patterns in marriage and the areas where hot girls live you’d have to a fucking idiot to believe someone who blags that crap. In some cases wealth does matter a lot especially in LTRs ,SMV maintenance for men  and marriages in other areas like a quick hook up at a hostel  wealth obviously is less important but I chose to tie it in more with the long term dating objectives of men which are more skewed towards the importance of wealth because I believe this is what the majority of men in the sexual market really are striving for be that a LTR or a marriage. 

Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach – Im purely writing this blog as my own perspectives and that’s about it . I am available for networking though in London, France (Nice) , US (Dallas and California) are the areas where I commonly am. For email networking please email darrenpua1@gmail.com

Do men really have “more time than Women” analysing and assessing the myth that men have more time than women. 

Ok so I was having a bit of a debate with myself the other day after watching a 21 convention video boasting that “men have loads of time to date , women have a limited time when they are high SMV that will diminish with time. Whilst I believe it’s true that men have longer to cash in on the sexual market I don’t believe its as easy as saying we have an advantage long term.  Our sexual market value most certainly goes up longterm starting from a smaller base whilst women’s increase early on between their 18-25s  then diminishes as they age. Whilst this has been the subject of much arrogance from the black pill and red pill I decided to write this piece to emphasise that whilst I agree with the core point that women over a long period tend to decline faster I don’t necessarily feel that the extra time that men garner is actually a massive advantage at all seeing as men have much greater time expenses than women in terms of improving sexual market value, maintaining it and further improving it. Once you add up and take into account all these factors I still believe fertile/attractive women still hold the bulk of the cards and advantages in terms of sexual market value . The objective of this  article  isn’t to inspire some sort of negativity or doom or gloom . The aim of this article itself is to provide men with the necessary inspiration to start approaching and go out there and meet as many people as possible because time is of the essence regardless of what your potential is or what you have now. It’s also there to prevent over-complacency  by men in the sexual market place something which the “red pill craze” maybe responsible for. 

Time Spent dating/Approaching

Men’s time expense on dating is infinitely higher , factoring in all the approaching men have to do that’s a huge time expense in of itself, women will spend next to 0 time actively approaching men proactively where as the average man will need to approach and date thus expending  hundreds of hours in order to have a chance to date out of their league in retrospect women merely have to download an app to have access to a pool of 1000s of potential suitors. So the time expense is still on men really, regardless of their SMV as a male 10 will not out match a female 1 on an online dating app and if you as a man really want to get what you desire you’re going to have to spend some time approaching to get your ideal type. Of course the amount of rejections, LMR and bad dates should go down as your skillset improves. But even the highest value of Puas out there will always face rejection regardless . This makes dating all in all a bigger time expense for men and will always be so. As technological advances will really only benefit the top 1-2 percent of men but will intern benefit almost all value of women far greater. The bottom “90 percent” of men will therefore need to ramp up the approaches to increase their options as a result of these technological advances and these women who have more options online may not be as receptive to cold approach anymore. 

Men’s Health Will Deteriorate  : 

Ok , men’s sexual prime will be an older age than a woman’s maybe around the 30-40s mark but age catches up with us all- even the best athletes in the world have to give up their respective sports due to age. So Im  not here saying that men have all the time in the world and that they can keep competing in the sexual market forever – far from it. There are a lot of factors out there that can destroy a man’s testosterone , Im  not going to go all in on them this time round. But factors such as blue light, poor diet, screen addiction, porn addiction can slowly hinder men’s health and make them miss out on opportunities in the sexual market place.

 Of course men can put off these issues by doing what needs to be done to maintain their health: eating healthy, going to the gym , getting their supplementation right , giving up alcohol -junk food etc. Can all contribute towards maintaining a man’s smv but anyway as men go past 30 usually testosterone declines and this needs to be something that men need to address. Do they want to be fucking in their prime of life ? How sexually active will they be capable of having the energy to run multiple approaches each day in line with their job , whilst doing gym etc.  It’s important to understand as a man your peak will not last forever and that you need to start doing approaches as soon as possible and increasing your options. Time is of the essence for both genders , just because women more often than not decline earlier doesn’t mean that men won’t face some sort of decline too eventually . All be it biohacks, giving up alcohol , investing in good quality nutrition can all help  fight against this decline in smv but its by no means a guarantee . 

Men need to spend time finding “Marriage Material” : Look it takes time to find marriage material, I think in the last 50 girls I’ve dated I’ve only seen around 2-3 marriage material girls, for men it’s tough to find these women and they are a dime in a dozen. If you’re serious about having kids and finding the ideal partner you need to have discipline running through you in terms of approaching and dating and  this takes fuck loads of time.  It’s not easy of course but its the only way to combat this issue. 

Also finding out of a person’s habits take an enormous amount of time too. You don’t want a girl that’s just good at sex but you want to really know what happens when the going gets tough and you’re up against it and to find reliable people takes time. You also need to factor in time you meet psychopathic women and potential betrayals that need to be factored in there maybe a bunch of women you date that don’t have the exact longterm or short-term vision as you. Finding a woman who’s visions you align with alone is very tough and time consuming whether you like it or not . 

 Just because someone is hot and likes you or someone is good at sex with you doesn’t make them marriage material or LTR worthy. Most men think with their dick. You should try your damned hardest not to  or else this could have ramifications at a later date. In terms of my personal life I’ve seen the consequences of this in terms of analysing both my older brother’s relationships. Both fell for women who were with them for their money and status . My eldest only found out after they were 10 years into the relationship and she cheated on him. My eldest suffered from scarcity in his dating life, despite being an accomplished , good looking and wealthy individual he didn’t spend the time to really analyse who he was dating he just jumped in and married the first girl that was into him. This had huge consequences and ramifications for both him and my family – consequences that we deal with today. So I beg you guys that are reading please take time to really analyse who you date because if you pick the wrong person it does have consequences please take your time and work hard. 

Men’s Young Years have the potential to be filled with Loneliness which leaves them with a huge gap to fill:  Men’s youth is a crack pit. Mine sucked and I was as privileged as one could be. For starters I went to a private school , you’d think this would give me some edge in my life in reality  I was pitted against some of the highest sexual market value men in south London and my main interests were jerking off and playing FIFA. I had zero hobbies, interests or skills and had no self confidence. My parents had a $600k apartment in South of France so I spent all of my youth in Cannes /Nice (the French city not the adjective) area, still 0 dates, 0 lays, 0 approaches despite being privileged with money. Even men who have some relative SMV to start with may find themselves with little to show for it. In comparison my year group’s hottest girl was being porked by a guy who was two years above me, who was a future Oxford Graduate and the son of Russian billionaire. Tough market for me , who’s most impressive accomplishment at that age would’ve been my 6th wank during a call of duty session. Hardly anything to attract any girl and the lack of interest from any single girl up until I was aged 17 grew massive amounts of loneliness into my life that started to harm my education and my day to day perspective on everything . This then grew into a pornography and gaming addiction along with low grades. I effectively wasted my high school due to excessive loneliness which in hindsight most probably couldn’t have been fixed because the pool of women was so low relative to the high quality of men in my private school  that the statistical probability of any of these women not liking me was high .

Now I’m not saying every Pua or person in the dating sphere is going to have such a horrendous  streak as mine. Im saying the Matthew effect could come into play where a dry streak at a young age spirals and creates low confidence and self esteem at a later date.  ‘Getting over this” Could serve as problematic too some men enter a dating slump and never get out of it. They never cold approach they remain their entire lives at the mercy of algorithms on dating apps or the city they’re in or just hope that they go to the bar and the right horny girl comes up to them. These are unsustainable solutions to the problem men face in my opinion but they are the solutions that men use.  

Men’s Careers , Goals and Objectives can eat in time finding a mate 

Men Need to invest more time to build a social circle:  Whilst women can buy themselves into a social circle with tits and ass men need to contribute more than just their looks in order to get into a decent social circle. A male 10 is still going to have a far tougher time building friendships and networking opportunities than a female 10 especially at a young age. Take an 18-21 year old male 10 and compare him to the opportunities a female 18-21 year old ten will have the differences are absolutely night and day. Men need to prove so much more in order to get into a social circle whereas fertile women will basically be given free rein on where they wish entirely due to their fertility .  

Even from a Pua and dating perspective if you want better wingmen you’re going to have to put yourself out there. That’s going to take time, the amount of time you will spend with failed wingmen and social circles also needs to be taken into account too. For me personally the first 5-6 wingmen I had didn’t match with my vibe and I had to spend the first 6-8 months of my day-game career switching from wing to wing. 

Men need to Invest more time on self improvement on dates to prove themselves to women:  Of course once women sprout huge tits they’ll have people dming to fly them out , famous people after them and so and so forth. For men our value proposition especially when we are young is extremely sparse in comparison to women.  Different men obviously need to spend different amounts of time to improve themselves. For some men this could involve spending a large period of time to improve themselves to reach the necessary mates they desire. For example if you’re broke then dating in an expensive city like London or New York will be incredibly stressful as dating here will obviously cost a considerable amount of money so men in a position of financial difficulty may want to spend some time building up their income first before committing to  daytime in a expensive  city.  These men might just want to go to cities were finances aren’t as important places like China Vietnam or Latin America where the competition of men is considerably poorer and economically not well off. 

Even well off men do need to develop some form of personality, vibe , social skills and work ethic in terms of dating.  It can take time to develop sexual market value and dynamism and requires a lot of hard work and patience. For me when I started day-game my inexperience at life in general was a big thing for me . I found it hard to maintain conversation with people  especially those from different cultures to mine . Growing up in London and spending the bulk of my time in the UK ,France or America it was very difficult for me to converse well with women from Asia for example because I had no experience living in those countries .  For me I needed time to read books, acquire languages / something so I could build rapport with said women and that took time. There was no “rapid escalation” blueprint sometimes SMV is a necessity to build trust with women. 

Opportunities to take advantage of SMV for men may dwindle with time:  For men even being top of the game and the highest value -we are all getting older, our bodies will deteriorate through time  and we don’t have forever. Combine this with the decision fatigue when you’re dating a lot of women and it can be hard to settle down and build a family.  The lesson to be learnt from this? The younger you are the better to start to commit to dating people regularly. Things take time and there will be one day which you yourself are out of time. Make sure you work hard and persist early on so you don’t have regrets later on. 

When is it too late though? For both men and women the brutal reality is we can’t be top of the game forever. There may come a time when our value diminishes and we can’t attract premium partners. We need to keep this in mind going forward or else some opportunities maybe gone forever . For me personally the black pill and red pill makes men prone to thinking they have all the time in the world , that one day women are over the hill their value is gone forever but men’s maintains . While I believe this is true In theory I also believe that there comes a time when men will stagnate and diminish too and they need to be aware of this if they’re procrastinating on their dating goals. 

Disclaimer: Im not a coach and don’t offer any coaching/mentoring services but for those looking to Network and live in any of the 4 cities I live in : London, San Fransisco , Dubai or Nice (France) feel free to email me at: darrenpua1@gmail.com please no podcast requests or YouTube media.

For young people entering the sexual market place improving SMV is a tough task even at the best of times that’s why I wrote this guide to how to improve men’s sexual market place value so that men can improve their results. One glaring problem when I started out was my lack of life experience really showed as I had nothing to talk about . I was literally one of the most boring human beings on the planet at the time, why was this? Partly because I didn’t value education , self development and nutrition but also because I simply didn’t make any active effort to show maturity in my life. Something that in hyper competitive environments like London is pretty much a necessity if you want to move up in the brutal sexual market place here. You need to have some personality, you need to be dynamic to a degree because interacting with women around the world some races will require more than negs to hook. 

The important thing to note is all these things do TAKE Time and lots of it. They will drain you of your mental energy- but will be worth it in the long term. Staying committed to these ideas over months and years can really enhance your day-game but will take time to implement.

• Learn a language- When I started my day-game journey I found interacting with non English speaking girls pretty tricky so I adapted to the situation by learning difficult languages- I hired a coach- someone to teach me Chinese which is pretty easy to do now from Italki or Superprof , from then on after speaking fluent Chinese it made interactions more interesting as Chinese speaking women would open to me more and it created more trust in interactions. As I analysed during my time working in sales the best sales people are usually polyglots. From learning Chinese my confidence grew to learning Cantonese, Japanese and Korean – so from the time of writing I have learnt 4 languages in the space of 2 years and plan to learn a further 6 as a long term goal. It enabled me to have deeper interactions and showed my maturity early on in interactions and instantly separated me from a dumbass Oxford Street Pua. Of course it takes time, but anything that has significance in improving your sexual market value will of course take time. Its just inevitable like most things on this list aside from fashion.  Learning languages also made my time on the streets more productive as I got to improve my language skills whilst picking up girls which all in all made it a better use of my time. 
• Get better Wingmen- As I wrote in my previous daygame guides wingmen will help foster more trust as long as those wingmen are of high value to you and articulate themselves well in interactions. Most guys think they can go through this process on their own and yes you can get results this way but in terms of building a social circle and achieving something of importance good wingmen are a necessity . Having good wingmen will reduce flakes, build trust, reduce your workload etc. There are endless benefits.  This perhaps takes the longest out of all the methods I’ve shown. Finding reliable people takes a tonne of time but will save you on your mental energy . I’ve found wingmen extremely helpful in terms of my motivation and in creating a social circle that women can enjoy . Too many day gamers start off thinking they can do it all by themselves and this can lead to huge burn outs from trying too hard. Believe me its better when you’re with a tribe and people who have common interests to you. Being in good social circles also improves your SMV – remember really and truly no woman wants to be with a lone wolf man.  
• Be prepared for all forms of Social Media for the race/ethnicity of girls that you like to hook up with. Build a strong social media profile on all the various major platforms , have great pictures and continuously  market yourself to the best you can be. I wrote on my social media guide how important this is and I continue to stress it. Its literally a vital necessity in todays world and you should act – For example if you’re into middle eastern women snapchat is a very popular social media app in a lot of these countries so having a snapchat may help you to build rapport . If you’re into Chinese/Taiwanese/Chinese Malays having a good WeChat profile can help. If you’re into Koreans then K-talk can be seen a necessity . Of course for most women instagram is the best and most popular strategy as it’s by far most popular app around and always make sure you have a strong Facebook too. Not having good social media may mean that closing will become a bit trickier as most women will prefer to give their socials away rather than their personal phone numbers. 
• Be more mindful in interactions. This may seem bizarre thing to write on the face of it but being more mindful and practicing mindfulness can help your vibe which in-turn over the course of several 100 daygame interactions should improve your results. Of course learning proper mediation is a skillset which will indeed take time but having a daily meditation practice will over time to make you have more meaningful daytime interactions. 
• Read or at least consistently listen to Audio Books. Again its not hard, try as best as you can be to not be one dimensional the more shit you know the easier it will be to hook women from different races and create some sort of interesting and impactful conversation. Its not hard or expensive to do this, audible has audio books that can be purchased in bundle for £18 for 3 , listening to these consistently is just an easy way to make you more dynamic without needing to work hard. Again target topics of the women you’re into, into fitness? Read as many varying viewpoints of health and nutrition as you can. Love women who are into politics and history? Try and broaden your horizons by listening to different history books. This may look weird to suggest but to hook and have longer more impactful sets increasing your general knowledge can help . An issue with alot of younger guys starting off in daygame is they don’t have enough life experience and run out of things to say. That being said you don’t want your interactions to stray too deep into a women’s interests – be sure to keep the conversations sexual to a degree or you’ll risk being friend zoned
• Gain Muscle – Lose body fat- Im a pretty scrawny dude but I try and hit the gym as much as possible – its one of my sticking points so I don’t think I should really be giving people advice on this but I will nonetheless. More muscle will help garner respect and will simply make you more attractive. You want to make the best impact in interactions looking your best and fittest self is vital this along with good dress is probably one of the easiest things to fix. 
• Travel Lots- Travel Often, go to countries that scare you , don’t just do predictable shit like getting drunk in Magaluf do some meaningful travel and take risks in places other people don’t normally go to. This will make you a lot more interesting and dynamic.  I spent alot of time traveling to countries that were against the norm, like Tajikistan, Saudi Arabia, Uzbekistan, Kazakstan. This made dates a lot more interesting as I was able to hook girls from showing exciting unique pictures from these places and showed I wasn’t just some average British chode who spent his summers getting drunk in Ibiza.  This will make you more interesting , make your dates more interesting in terms of conversation and make your emotional impact higher. You will find also that places people don’t usually go to are actually usually alot cheaper than the traditional British shitholes anyway. 
• Have a type? Then plan accordingly so that your interactions with set type of women go better. If youre into Chinese girls for example start taking Chinese lessons so you can hook them better in interactions and win trust quicker. If you’re into Arabic girls for example – travel to a Middle Eastern country , read history books of said country who’s women youre into. Its not that hard even, two audio books a month for a year and you’re going to have enough conversation points to at least hook most girls. Again if you’re young under the age of 25 you really should invest some serious time reading and listening to audio books. Especially if you’re reading this and you’re below age 21 Id actually spend serious time reading 20-30 books on history  , politics, health   etc. before you hit the streets , a common problem in young people is not enough subjects to talk about.  Nick Krausser for example read a lot of eastern european history books before his daygaming around Russia. The world is increasingly globalised and you’ll need to prepare for this adequately a lot of girls tend to open up more when you talk about subjects , hobbies and interests that interest them and you need to prepare for this. 
• Improve your dress. Probably the quickest way to improve your sexual market value is to improve your dress sense. Dating a girl who’d worked as a stylist really helped me in this regard . But make sure you spend at least some time getting 1-3 decent outfits. Poor dress can lead to blow outs and lower your chances with “maybe girls” so make sure you’re investing some time into bettering this. Make sure you choose an outfit that can show off your physical shape in the best way possible. 
• Sort out your mental problems in life- again this a broad general statement that’s somewhat vague advice at best but if you have mental blocks that are being caused by outside influences make sure you address them first before doing day-game interactions. If you underlying depression, or worries that need to be addressed first make sure you do something about them so your vibe won’t be dead during the interactions. Of course sometimes people can use “other problems” in their life as a barrier to taking proactive action and doing actually street approaches . So make sure you’re honest with yourself . If underlying worries or issues really are affecting your social interactions or not. 

Please note: I’m not a coach but am looking for Wings in London, Dubai Or Nice (South Of France) places where I’m usually based so please get in touch for networking Email: darrenpua1@gmail.com : 

This list for now is pretty raw and I will be looking to add to it more and more as I get new ideas.

How to Decide What to Do? 

Picking your date based on the person personality/ culture  who you’re dating may have a strategic advantage as opposed to just picking what’s convenient to you and your own time . When I started I just went to the same place over and over again without looking at other places that could’ve possibly made the date more exciting and could’ve made certain girls open up more. Try and induce variety in your dates can make the occasions more interesting for you and for the women you date. Will also let you realise what kind  of dates you yourself enjoy doing- mixing dates , locations can make the date more entertaining for both you and the girl so don’t be afraid to experiment and don’t get stagnant. 

 Obviously some locations will  depend on your personality/ habits like  if you drink or not. I personally don’t as I can’t handle my alcohol and after numerous health problems from it I gave it up so from my perspective on this list im leaning more to coffee shops and picnic places rather than areas for booze. If you’re dating a religious girl too or someone that doesn’t drink you may want to think more seriously about good places to hang at night that don’t involve alcohol , a sisha bar  or the Churchill cigar bar in Marble Arch can be a good substation for example .

Alcohol Or Not?   

Sober dates can be a good way to improve your verbal , sub-communication      , if you’re someone in the past that has done nothing but dates involving alcohol and getting fucked off your ass maybe up the difficulty level and try a sober picnic or a casual coffee.  This will help you to work on your conversation skills and put you out of your comfort zone and will also help you in the long run with your health and will force you to ram up your convo and general knowledge skills to induce longer , more interesting conversations without the need of alcohol  . Remember we are all getting older you can’t simply rely on alcohol forever as the older you get the worse the hangovers and toll it will take on you and your life in general. Also excessive drinking can harm performance in the bedroom and your productivity especially if you have big rotations or are seeing a lot of women at once you may want to axe the drinking alcohol dates for the cheaper coffee dates . Especially if youre stacking 3-5 dates a week continued drinking might drain you of energy and vibe for other dates so keep that in mind. Add sex into this and the impact on your sleep might drain productivity in other areas of your life too. 

First Date Types– 

These obviously don’t need to be done as one set individual location  and if you’re escalating sexually its ideal to keep moving to different locations to keep the sense of adventure running in the date. Try to choose 2-3 locations in one setting. So picking your area that you’re dating is extremely important, make sure this area has a mixture of cafes, bars and restaurants to keep things popping throughout the date. For example an area like High Street Kensington has picnic spots stacked with restaurants and bars which will enable you to do interesting bounces. Places like Marble Arch have unique hotels and bars all located near one another that can make for exciting bounces between each location.  

Picnics – Can create a sense of adventure and are a great opportunity to lead , pick wine, food together . Obviously weather dependant and isn’t really recommended to do in London in the Winter time. Japanese Gardens in Kensington, Wimbledon Common or Hyde Park are my preferred spots. 

Casual Coffee – London Is stacked with coffee shops ideally you want to pick ones with couches where you can escalate  , recommendations include Joe and The Juice and the new hot chocolate chain Knoops. 

Bar and Drinks -Can be easily stacked with other dates and are recommended for anyone who likes alcohol. Make sure you pick bars that are quiet and can enable conversation and escalation my personal favourite is the Nobu Hotel in Portman Road full of sofas and create a quite intimate experience that gives the opportunity for escalation. I would be against picking a loud pub or bar and in stead research for areas that aren’t so crowded so you can actually hear the girl speak. 

Galleries –  Art Galleries Like Saatchi Gallery , Tate Modern can be good spots to lead especially for students who haven’t previously lived in London. It’s recommended not to long it out in the galleries and try and bounce to a coffee shop or bar area after 1-1.5 hours 

Getaway Weekend – (Currently writing a separate guide for this)  For long term rotations, keeping interest and excitement high for the girls you want to keep around is key. After visiting lots of the major dating locations in London you might want to consider going to other parts of the UK and arranging getaway weekends with your girls. This will keep up the sense of adventure in the relationship . 

Straight to Your Place– I had previously written a guide about this that ill be publishing again, but there are techniques you can use to test to the waters to see if the girl w22ill go straight to your place on the first date. This has advantages in that you can get the lay quicker and for girls that are tourists you want to escalate as optimally as possible. However there have been numerous occasions were this has worked out badly for me. 5 occasions I had lmr which the girl never texted me back after- I also had one girl accuse me of just trying to fuck her as quickly as possible. A move of going straight back to yours on the first date might be deemed to quick and paint you as too much of a fuck boy for her early on. In my opinion its best to wait it out and take a couple of dates to build up some excitement – push pull etc. Then go back to yours, of course everyones opinions will be different on this so feel free to disagree. Of course this will partly be determined by how long that girl is in the city for . If they’re a student that just started a 3 year bachelors degree then escalating straight to yours will be risking a whole lot of lmr and gambling away potentially 3 years of sex if you played everything a bit smoother and more patiently. If they are a tourist on a weekend away In London then you need escalate as quick as possible while buying temperature is high.

Restaurant Dates: Very Difficult to garner success from restaurant dates they’re extremely difficult to sexualise and very hard to convert from, restaurant dates are more recommended when you’ve at least fucked the girl once or else its a massive cash investment for very little reward. 

Second Dates: You should aim to frame these straight to your place in the ideal world. So set the goal to at least cook for them before the date is set. I’ll be writing a guide about this shortly. But if they won’t come to yours at least frame the date in your location. 

After You fuck them : Make sure you take them out to a restaurant or treat them somewhere. Ive lost many a girl by treating them like shit after sleeping with them. You should make an effort to acknowledge them so they don’t believe they are being used just for sex and take them out at least once for food afterwards. Some People will see it as beta spending money on a girl but personally I think its ok after you’ve slept with them to treat them once in a while. The better you treat them the longer and better chance you have of the girl staying on your rotation 

Long Term- 3-5 Dates in : In order to keep the relationship fresh I recommend taking the girl to other cities- remember the more travel and adventure you have with a girl the more you will build a romantic  adventure in her mind which can help secure more of a connection and deepen the intimacy in the relationship. It can also help to keep the relationship fresh if you’re bored of London – I will be writing another guide soon but overall I recommend trips to : Cotswold, Bristol , Lake District as a few other cities and places you can take girls to keep the excitement and adventure high in your relationship. 

Trips Abroad: Never agree to a trip abroad with a girl unless you’ve at least fucked them once. You don’t want awkward pressure lingering on your date with someone.  Living in a city like London you can do easy cheap flight get aways to many European cities and it’s an easy way to keep the relationship fresh and exciting- I’d only recommend doing this 3-4 months at the very least , make sure you’ve taken them around London and lead them around the UK first before embarking on a trip abroad so you know you can at least trust them that they flip out or create an awkward situation for you. 

Ways to Keep Up to Date with New Date Locations: 

London is an ever growing city with new opportunities arriving almost monthly . In order to keep track of these new locations following instagrams of influencers that eat dine out regularly is a great way to keep track of Innovative date locations: 

https://www.instagram.com/dinewithfari/

Low Budget Yet Exciting Dates: 

Soho: 

The Positives of Dating in Central London: 

• Easy for most women to get to and relatable. Of course if you’ve just met a girl on the street meeting her somewhere relatable is always an easy way to usher in an element of safety rather then making the girl come all the way to your area which may be inconvenient for her. 
• Good atmosphere- Speaks for itself, many girls particularly those raised abroad visiting London for the first time as students or tourists should find Soho an enticing prospect.  

Negatives: 

• Loud and noisy especially on the weekends – this can make it potentially difficult to hear her if you take her to a bar that’s too packed. Which can make the romanticism and seduction a difficult task. 

Recommendations on a budget : 

Joe and The Juice Soho:

• Simple Cheap and easy date Joe and the Juice Soho is a basic dating spot to take a girl out in central London , if things are going well there are plenty of areas to go nearby for food and bars for the second bounce. 

After A coffee you can bounce to Chin Chin Labs which do marshmallow hot chocolates- a follow up to All Bar One is decent for another bounce location.

• Italian Bear Chocolate-Soho is another decent location to pick which does really entertaining hot chocolates – good cheap and entertaining for a first date along with couches that can be good for escalating. 

Bit Pricier: 

• Sketch Soho – Obviously more high end with drinks being a bit more expensive but it’s a unique experience with several bars in one location which can provide an opportunity to lead women you date. 

Clapham Park  – 

Picnic Date Idea – Whole Foods then Walk to Clapham Park for the picnic 

Simple Coffee Shop date- Knoops and Joe the Juice are both cheap and simple locations – Whole Foods Clapham Park has a new coffee shop too which can be stacked well with the All Bar One located just 5 minutes away from it. 

High Street Kensington – 

Picnic Idea Date Idea -> Whole Foods to buy the food  then Japanese Garden for the picnic  – Whole Foods itself can be a date location to grab a coffee with plenty of seating, quite busy during the weekends though. 

Simple Coffee Shop Idea- Knoops, Joe and the Juice , Street Food Markets to eat located opposite to whole foods.  Also some Iranian, Filipino and Iraqi restaurants located 10 minutes away from the station.  There’s also a Megan’s which can be decent for a coffee. Overall high street Kensington is a great place if the weather is good you can move the date quickly onto respective parks, bars etc. 

Fulham Broadway : 

Whole Foods is the easy options followed by several bars located nearby. There is a new food court located straight next to the station which is good for a cheap eat. 

Notting Hill – 

Recommendations on a Budget- 

Grab a coffee at Daylesford Organic – if going well there are plenty of ice cream shops around for a second bounce and bars nearby for a third.  Notting Hill is a great place to walk around with tourist girls or girls that are new to London for the first time so just grabbing a coffee at a Leon near the station then going for a walk around can suffice especially on the weekends with the markets on. 

Mayfair: 

Shot London : An instagramable  Coffee shop  with decent finesse , pretty packed with Arabs but nonetheless a unique spot in London . 

Marble Arch– 

Potential Date Plans: 

Selfridges- Selfridges has a decent size food court area with plenty of places to sit there are also many different restaurants and bars located inside so an ideal – there are literally new bars built inside Selfridges every 6 months or so 

Nobu Hotel: Now im not saying go buy your girl dinner at Nobu , but the bar on the downstairs area serves up relatively cheap small meals and does drinks, teas and coffee.With couch seating its the perfect place for an intimate date and really not that expensive about the same price as you’d be paying for a cocktail at All Bar One but far less louder. Also everyone loves Japanese architecture 

Churchill cigar bar: great place to wind down after a bar or coffee which delivers a real “London feel” perfect for girls who are tourists or living in London for the first time. 

Daylesford Organic is also Located here which is good place to grab a coffee although seating can be limited. 

Idea for Stacked date plan: 

Selfridges for a coffee -> Nobu for A cocktail Wine, Light snack -> Churchill Cigar bar for more drinks and a bounce home . Make sure you keep in mind the opening and closing times for these areas.

Or alternatively if the date is a late night one past 9pm you can just go and do the Nobu Hotel to Churchill Cigar Stack. 

Sloane Square/Knightsbridge –

Sloane Square is an excellent date spot as it has a sweet street food market on the weekends , loads of coffee shops, an excellent gallery and some intimate restaurants and bars. A perfect place to stack several bounces together and a ascetically pleasing safe area to hang around in.  

Joe and the Juice- JATJ downstairs can be a very intimate spot 

Saatchi Gallery – One of my favourite spots to take cultured girls great area for a date also right by it are many good restraint bars and coffee shops. 

Raw Press Juice Bar- Located between Knightsbridge and Sloane Square a beautiful little bar spot . Can be stacked with other areas easily. 

Pimlico: 

Daylesford Organic located on Pimlico is a beautiful shop for a coffee. 

Fulham Broadway: 

Whole Foods Fulham Broadway is a great place to grab a juice or a snack. There are plenty of bars nearby. Theres a food stall right next to Fulham Broadway station with plenty of places for eating. 

London Bridge: Borough Market next to the station is a fantastic place to go and grab some coffee or some food then have a drink along the river

Islington:  In honesty I haven’t dated at all in Islington myself but have clocked a few good places for a drink – Jiji’s in a beautiful square which serves good drinks and with other locations good for a bounce. There are also several coffee shops in the same area.  Megan’s in Islington also has good outdoor seating good for first time round coffee dates. 

Shoreditch : 

• Box Park has several decent shops that can be used as date locations – Humble Dough being cheap cool ice cream spot. Plenty of good restaurants and ice cream shops that you can go to afterwards. 
• Another shop called The Grocery is a good spot for a coffee – Shoreditch itself is visually a very interesting city with plenty to see and look around at so just simply walking with the girl can suffice.  
• Dark Sugars- Another good location for a hot chocolate and a cool place for a first date- a bounce and walk around Greenwich park might be ideal. 

King’s Cross Station: 

• King’s Cross has a plethora of spots to date at with many new restaurants built near the UAL campus.  
• Area outside Google Headquarters is a decent place to go on a picnic, a good plan and set up for a date here might be to go to the Waitrose nearby – buy food then head outside the google headquarters and have a picnic- afterwards there are many places bars nearby that are good for drinks 

South East London 

Wimbledon: 

Date Ideas- Coffee , Bars Drinks , Picnics 

-Wimbledon Village is a prime date location with plenty of small coffee shops a great area to walk around with a nearby park perfect for picnic dates. 

• Demitasse – Good coffee shop in the heart of Wimbledon Village and equipped with couches an ideal first date spot. 
• Megan’s Wimbledon- Not as good seating wise as Demitasse but an interesting second location option if need be. 
• A coffee shop followed by All Bar One can be a good date plan. 

Picnic Idea- Go to Bayley and Sage buy some wine , cheese , sandwiches and other alcohol and then walk to Wimbledon Park which is around 10 minutes away , again said before when buying food for a picnic with the girl make sure the girl feels included in the decision making process. 

Putney: All Bar one and several other bars located along the river serve as decent date spots. Overall not the best location to date someone and only really advisable to someone living in the area or in a nearby town like Wimbledon. 

Kingston Upon Thames: A different sort of location in London located along a river it can be a unique town to take a girl out in. Cote Brassier located next to  the river does decent drinks and is a romantic setting if the weather is good. 

Why Good instagram photos are key to men’s seductive success

darrenpua1@gmail.com for networking/ etc.

Mindful-Masculinity.org follow my blog please 🙂 

Before I digress into the world of photography and how it can influence a man’s life I would like to first of all state that nothing is more important than continuous approaching for a man as he tries to progress in the world of dating. Indeed great photos do matter a lot as I will make points in this blog post about and it’s important as a man that you look after how you present yourself online. But don’t let it serve as a distraction away from the hard craft of approaching and meeting new women. I’ve found that great photos can serve to support good/strong approaches and reduce my flake count. 

I’ve been in the “pua community” as an active “daygamer” for around three years now. I’ve seen many faults with my wingmen. Some are overweight, some fail to approach, some have bad posture etc. But a common problem with around 90 percent of my wings was a failure to project their lives on instagram in an attractive and admirable way that will be attractive to top quality women. It’s a common problem and one which many men fail to fix. Either because they feel their “alpha” approach will be enough to attract the girl into their life. A concept which maybe true back in 2006-2010 when day game was starting to gain traction and social media was no where near as important as it is now.  Or because they are simply lazy, unwilling to adapt and change things to fit into their favour  because they are too inexperienced to see where their weaknesses lie. 

In 2017 I watched a video by TNL instructor Liam Mcrae in which he goes through men’s facebook photos and judges them. Why does he do this? Because he knows that poor photos can put a woman off dating him as which happened to him as one of his tinder matches declined to meet up with him in real life because his facebook had so many weird photos of him that he forgot to untag which the woman saw and was consequently put off by. These videos are vital to watch because it shows the sheer amount of shit , invaluable stuff that men post on their social media accounts that will put off women from meeting up with them. These include: 

• Poor quality photos.  The mobile phone era has really proved destructive to men’s instagram pages as men aren’t posting photos of any quality . Mobile cameras may seem convenient but almost all bar maybe the iPhone 11 have bad light quality and portray images in not enough detail. 
• Too much crap posted on their social media. Get rid of self help quotes, political posts and other crap. Post things of real value of you in a good light. 
• Photos emphasising one thing too much. Photos in one city, too many topless photos, photos showing off something like a good car, too much of you doing one hobby. You need variety to show that you’re someone who has a sense of adventure and purpose beyond just one thing. So if you have a good body don’t post constant gym selfies, if you live in London don’t have all your pictures in London make sure you have them take in a variety of cities across the globe which shows you’re sense of adventure. 
• Posting photos with a lack of variety. Similar to my last point re;ally but photos should show a variety of high quality high value friends, other women (this will make the woman aware that you have “options in your life” and are trusted by other females. Photos should have a range of poses too, ranging from very masculine serious looks that can portray your strength and confidence as a man to photos of you smiling that show your feminine side. Too many photos of you smiling and you look quite simply gay which will put off women from more conservative backgrounds who lust for more masculine men. These are more dominantly from peasant societies like Russia, Kazakstan etc. Too many photos of you looking alpha may cause you to have no fun or feminine side which may make put off women especially the incredibly beta ones from China and south east Asia. 
• Immaturity or feminine photos:  too many photos of you drunk, partying, doing stupid shit or seen as a desperate attempt to make you look funny can really put women off . By all means have a funny photo here and there. But too many will put off serious corporate women or women from traditional conservative masculine societies. Photos of you partying maybe good for the 18-21 year old frat party girls but if you close a corporate girl or a career minded girl it may serve as detrimental in leading towards a date. Be very mindful as certain photos may block out certain types of women from your life. Why would you want to do that? Keep your options open have pictures that serve all types of women not just the frat party goers and the beta asians. 
• Scarcity of photos full stop. Most men have one or two photos on their social media, or just not photos at all. There is therefore no proof to the women that they approach that this man has any life ,friends or family full stop. 
• Photos with poor quality dress. Aim for at least one professionally taken photo for you in a suit. This will show some serious side and show that you care for your dress sense.  

What good photos can do for you as a man in your dating life: 

• Increasing your tinder matches. I fucking hate online, its shit and degrading as man.But if you want better matches then by all means get better photos. They’ve done experiments with a male 7 with great quality photos  v a male 9 with poor quality photos. The male 7 with great photos achieved better matches. 
• Will create a sense of adventure in the woman’s mind. This is quite simply invaluable seeing as women are far more attracted to life experience than men are (men’s biggest attraction will always be fertility) Its no big surprise that women are attracted to older men and this isn’t based on looks but rather the life experience that older men have been through. They’ve done a lot more interesting shit with their life. Photos can be a way of instantly portraying to a woman the interesting things you’ve done with your life so that you can stand out amongst the 1000s of men who don’t have any high quality photos of themselves doing interesting shit. 
• Will stop you looking like a rapist or a loner. Women want high quality men in their lives this doesn’t mean you have to be perfect in every-way possible but it does mean you have to portray life in an interesting light that can stop making women think you’re a rapist. One of the biggest concerns women have of dating men on the street is whether or not they’re going to get raped or if the guy is a psycho killer. Having good quality photos is an effortless way to build trusts and reduce your flake count. Ive approached countless women from day-game who’ve said that the photos i had on my Instagram provided them with proof that I wasn’t a serial killer. Even my most memorable lay from day-game was told by her friend not to meet me (for fear that I was a rapist) but she pushed towards meeting and sleeping with me because I had great quality photos. Its a fine margin between success and failure why make something as difficult and challenging as pickup that bit harder by having shit photos? 
• Can provide lasting benefit, one great shot of you can help you in your dating life for years to come. 
• Serves as a tool to attract hypergamous girls. Say you approach a lot in universities and you have great photos of you traveling around the world doing interesting things those photos will stand out a lot to a woman’s eye especially if she’s around immature punks as I’m sure she would be if she’s at a university which are often full of guys playing Fifa and doing not much else. 
• Appeals to different sides of female attraction effortlessly. Photos of you well dress and well organised appeal to one side, photos of you in dangerous places or unique places show good leadership and knowledge. Photos of you in high value areas like 5 star hotels can show a lot of value in resources , photos of you making a speech or doing something artistic on a stage like stand up comedy or music show leadership and creativity. Great photos can really deliver all sorts of different attractive traits of masculinity to the women which on top of a solid approach can serve to maximise your value to her. 

Instagram Close V WhatsApp Close which is better? 

The answer is “it depends” on the situation nearly all the time. If you’re approaching a high end model girl with 100ks of followers then I’d go for the personal WhatsApp close as your Instagram is unlikely to impress her as she’s “seen it all before” high end women get their dms absolutely flooded with tonnes of men chasing after them so its no point competing in that level  .In short to summarise if they have more than 2k followers i’d just go for the WhatsApp close first. If they have a low follower count I’d go for the Instagram close as it will be easy to build value with high quality photos as most likely she’s around immature men with no  interesting life experience if she has a low follower count.

 If you genuinely desire the WhatsApp over the Instagram then I’d just ask for the WhatsApp (make sure you have a good WhatsApp photo to make a strong impression when you message the girl) If the girl is uneasy to give you her WhatsApp just say you  understand and say “let me take your instagram you can see pictures of me and my friends realise I’m not a rapist and then we can go for coffee” 

If the woman is a student or seems a bit on the immature side id go for the Instagram Close, showing off your photos to her can be a fantastic way to show value and life experience that her friends will unlikely have. It gives her a concrete reason to date you that you’re offering value that guys her age can’t. 

Of course I believe WhatsApp is the more personal way to text someone. But the huge disadvantage of WhatsApp is that its hard to build comfort in the same way an instagram close can. Instagram or facebook you can have the girl see your life and how interesting you are as an individual , it can help build interest etc. in ways WhatsApp can’t. Instagram has the big benefactor that if the lead flakes you can re-engage her by adding high value stories that stimulate her interest. You simply cant do this via Whatsapp, on WhatsApp once the lead is dead its dead…. 

Always Look to Preserve your Brand: 

Your photos are your brand. They are how you advertise yourself as an individual, if they are poor quality people wont be excited by what you have to offer as an individual and will look elsewhere to find mates. Make sure when you travel you’re constantly taking good photographs that can enhance your profile 

Steps to go about getting good photographs: 

• Delete all low quality/immature/creepy  photos. Get rid of them this is the way you’re presenting yourself as a man to the world. Get rid of low quality crap, the photo of you holding your thumbs up etc.  Have female friends look over and decide which ones they like and don’t like it can help a lot. Take a look at your photos and honestly ask yourself would you date yourself? Get opinions from your male friend’s who have better photos of you. Ideally high quality wingmen who have self awareness of the importance of this side of your dating life. 
• Ditch the cell phone camera. Yes , just do it. I don’t give a shit what make or model the camera phone is nothing beats a high quality mirrorless camera. Give yourself the best pictures possible 
• Invest in a high quality camera and decent portrait lens. I personally purchased the Panasonic s1 but there’s a range of  camera’s you can buy that can help towards your image.  The Sony A6300 is a good starting point. People will spend £1000s on a holiday but won’t invest a penny towards a good camera that can help 
• Invest in a professional photo shoot. Do it, these pictures can last a lifetime and you want the best chance of you standing out. A lot of men will appear to proud to put money on the line the extra £50-100 to take good photos but will plow £100s into unsuccessful dates with women seems a bit ridiculous. But of course most men in the dating world are naive and illogical . 
• Travel a lot, take a good camera with you and have good quality photos of yourself taken constantly to make your instagram and social media look like you have a fabulous life. Make sure you travel with people that ideally have a knowledge of photography too to get the very best pictures of your trip. Take lots at different angels, try and perfect the way your portray it seems pretentious and stupid but however obsessed you may seem to be about your appearance just remind yourself that this shit will pay off a lot in the long run. Always keep an eye out for high areas that portray high value. If you stay in a 5 star hotel for one night make sure you take a tonne of photos during your stay so that you can show your value and resources. 
• Try unique shots in unique places. The more unique the shot the more value it adds. Avoid pictures in cliche places that have already been instagrammed a tonne of times . Try and travel off the beaten path. The most interest I got from girls were from my pictures in unique areas like” Kyrgyzstan  , Tajikistan and Uzbekistan  (in central Asia) these were places that most men usually don’t go to. This can build a lot of attraction to the women if they see you doing things that people don’t normally do. It can depict courage , discipline and adventure without you having to do it yourself.  
• Invest in good editing software like adobe Lightroom or take a photo editing course. 70 percent of what makes photos good is good in the editing. Avoid over saturation and over editing of photos it can come across as needy and try hard. 
• Get high quality photos of you with male and female friends , women don’t want a loner creep and thats one of the first things they’re worried about when they get approached the fact that you maybe a loser with no friends. It’s therefore paramount that you get high quality photos done with your friends and have a few with your female friends to win additional rapport. 
• take photos of other men who are serious about posing in a masculine way. It helps to have people on the same path as you and in photography its no different. 

It’s a competitive dating world out there and men have really far less maturity and common sense to navigate it compared to women. From my life at the age of 16/17 women around me were already taking high quality pictures and investing in model shoots. I had no idea why they were doing it or how come. Till I realised that they themselves were doing it as a portrayal of value to attract the highest quality mates. While men around me were bleakly doing fuck all about their dating lives just jacking off and playing call of duty. Most Puas and men have no real self awareness about how shit their photos are and its a massive shame as they missing out greatly. I mean look at Johnny Berba’s instagram for example a “leading UK dating coach” absolute trash with no real value conveyed. Be self aware of the way you present yourself as a man. It may sound cheesy and corny but it makes a real difference. People ask “but why can’t my approach just create the attraction” in 2020 and in an age of social media and Instagram it’s all about how your portray your life now that’s about it. It seems corny and pretentious but as a man it’s your job to be organised and adapt. 

Photos ranked in terms of “value”

Different photos convey your value in different ways and you should be aiming to provide a wide range of photos to convey your brand properly, I’ve arranged them in order of importance : 

1. Photos of accomplishment- These are by far the photos that tend to get the most likes from girls I’ve found , these photos are perhaps the most important in showing your value and showing off your SMV. Photos of you achieving things in life that other men have done can create a lot of interest and build trust . A photo of me signing shares for a company Im a stake holder in got more likes than any other photo women love accomplishment and its important any time you do accomplish anything that you have a photo taken of it. 
2. Photos with family. Women love a man who values his family and your instagram should show pictures of this to some extent. 
3. Travel photos to exotic destinations. Shows your sense of adventure and are very important in terms of building comfort to girls. For example when i stay at 5 star hotels i ensure that my wingman takes pictures of me at that hotel, uploading that picture then shows a lot of interesting traits. That I have enough money to afford staying at  a high end venue ( so I’m not some broke ass loser on the street) , that i have a degree of class and that I’m adventurous.  It immediately deals with a lot of problems the girl might be questioning about you when you’ve approached her. 
4. Pictures with puppies and kittens. An instant winner and something that girls love , try and get a few high quality pictures with cute animals.
5. Photos that show a broad range of fashion senses that show your strengths and understanding of good quality fashion.  
6. Baby Pictures- Always try and sneak a few of these in. Photos of you when you were young can be used to build rapport and play to women’s mothering instincts. 
7. Pictures with other girls , again this can build rapport to some degree but too much of this makes you come across as a fuckboy. 
8. Model Shots – one or two of these are fine and should always be done and used as your facebook profile picture and your WhatsApp profile picture. A strong WhatsApp photo is key to making a good impression on girl’s who you’ve number closed. You really don’t want this photo to be a bad or it may give a reason for her to flake on you. 
9. Pics Surfing or Skiing – I upload a few pictures of myself surfing but no more than that, these two types of sports are pretty saturated on Tinder/men’s dating profiles so make sure you don’t over do it. 
10. Sports/Yoga or Gym shots- 1 or 2 of these are ok anymore and it may seem like you’re showing off your body to excess. 
11. Photos of food- other things you do at work etc. These are not so important but may add value if they’re interesting and high quality. 

What NOT to Upload: 

• Poor quality  photos, any of these just don’t bother. If the picture doesn’t look nice don’t bother with it . More is not necessarily better , aim for quality over quantity . Delete any poor quality photos off your instagram or facebook now. 
• Excessive amounts of the same accomplishment or the same thing. For example if you go to the gym a lot excessive photos of you topless or showing off your body may make you look like a one trick pony who’s only goal or asset is the fact that they gym a lot . Too much of anything is a bad thing .
• Photos with nothing interesting going on, again think of it from the woman’s perspective do you honestly want to date someone who is doing nothing interesting in their life. A complete lack of interesting photos is highly likely to diminish your value. 
• Shit selfies, i see this a lot on people’s profiles, why? It looks terrible and makes you look immature don’t bother with it. 
• Not enough pictures with friends. You need photos with other male friends who are also good looking and well dressed to ensure to women you have a social circle that’s worth getting involved in. 
• Excessive photos with females, as I’ve said before too much of anything is a bad thing . Too many pictures with females will make you come across like a fuckboy and is likely to ruin the romance of the initial approach that you made. It’s best to keep female photos limited. A small amount to show that other females like you but not too many to make the woman think that you have 1000 other women on the go. They want to feel special and appreciated not one of 1000 other women that you’ve approached that week. 
• Self help quotes – I see a lot of day gamers do this I personally think it comes across extremely immature and bit weird. 

Instagram Stories: 

Instagram stories are the number one way to resurrect dead leads you’ve closed from daygame it’s helped me rein-gage maybe girls . You should aim to make your Instagram stories interesting and insightful , some that can easily grab a woman’s attention and should of course be conveying some sort of interesting hobbies or activities that you’re personally doing. 

Good things to put on your instagram stories (in no particular order) : 

• Stories of an interesting event or festival you maybe a part of 
• Stories of you traveling in exotic interesting places
• Stories of you cooking (can be extremely useful if you cook good food and the woman comments you can comment back saying “i need to make this for you sometime) 
• Stories of you in high end/ high value places. 
• Stories of you with cute animals like puppies, if you have a cute pet i would personally put him in your stories all the time it can be a wonderful babe magnet to re-hook dead leads into your life. 
• Stories of your friends doing interesting things. Shows you have a social circle and aren’t a loner freak. 
• Stories of your family, always great to have some in there to show that you’re a family man. Plays to women’s mothering instincts. 

Things you shouldn’t upload stories of 

• You and girls you date. This is a controversial one but i don’t think its beneficial to other leads to actively show them that you’re dating other women it may ruin chances of getting them out, making the woman feel like second choice or that you’re just a fuckboy. I avoid posting other women at all in my stories unless they’re relatives (and I specifically say they’re relatives in the post, for example if Im with my female cousin I post a picture or story captioned with “hanging with my cousin” . 
• Anything political or religious , honestly its not worth going into political conflict over instagram and its just going to kill off potential leads . Avoid posting slogans preferring one political party to another it just serves to create conflict or divide between you and girls before anything has even started 
• Boring stories of you doing boring shit. If you have nothing interesting to post then just don’t post it . It’s that simple, posting consistent boring stories will potential lead to girl’s thinking your life is boring and then offering them no incentive to date you in the long run. 
• Low value places or drug taking, just photos of you doing shit things like drinking at a pub isn’t interesting to the majority of high value women. 

How to use pictures on a date? 

Instagram pictures can be used quite easily to build rapport and trust on date without much effort . I always bring out the pics to show the women when Im telling travel stories, describing what I do during work, talking about history (as i have a lot of pictures about the history of certain areas which serve a political undertone) showing my family and friends and what they do. It can be a fantastic way to build trust and build a sense of adventure. Particularly if you have pictures of the places where the girl you’re dating with is from e.g. when I date a Chinese girl I always show pictures of my time in China.  Usually however the further a picture is taken away from where the girl is from usually correlates to gleaning more interest. For example a girl from Hong Kong might find a photograph from Norway very interesting however a girl from the UK may find pictures from Norway to be very boring. 

Good Camera Set ups for your Travels: 

Investing in a good quality camera, lenses etc. is vitally important as you really want to show of your brand as much as possible online. Think about it to the big fortune 500 companies like Apple or Google use half assed technology to show of their brand? No they don’t and neither should you . 

Follow some youtubers like art of photography to get a more interesting understanding into lens types and understanding the variations of lenses and models. Join facebook groups about the lenses and cameras you have to give yourself a better understanding about how to get the most out of your camera or do what I did and just take a photography course at Jessops. It takes time to study photography but it’s honestly worth its weight in gold in the long run. 

Good value starting point Sony A6300 

Sony have the cheapest range of mirrorless cameras and this one certainly is the best value one out there and good for beginners starting out in Photography. 

The most advanced and expensive setup I use is the Panasonic S1 and 1.4f Lumix Pro lens , its a pricey set up but has gotten me many invaluable shots that I can continue to use in terms of my brand. 

https://www.jessops.com/c/brand-shop/panasonic/lumix-s1

Which I take with the 1.4f Lumix F Pro Sense 

It’s been expensive but massively worth it in the long run to have this set up for me during my travels. Its also enabled be to do model shots of girls Im dating and add direct value to their life as well 

I usually use the best camera phone out there iPhone 11 as of time of writing this blog post this gives me the opportunity to post high quality instagram stories which can increase my chances of resurrected leads and building intrigue. 

Also using a GoPro can help for vlogging and capturing travels from a more adventurous angel. 

How to get good photographs?

• Travelling is a great way to make yourself look more adventurous on Instagram its one of the easiest and most efficient ways but you need to make sure you’re travelling with people who take photography seriously and can also use your camera well.  Some men think taking good photos is seen as “gay” but fuck those guys you need good photos in order to build your brand and image up. Make sure you surround yourself with wingmen who take photography seriously too . 
• Taking model photo shots, aim to this a couple of times each year. Make sure you do your research as some model photographers can be woeful and rip offs. 
• Having an easy to use high quality phone camera at hand so you can get strangers to take photos of you easily. Having a camera too complicated to use (like the one I actually suggested) may make it difficult to get good photos on a whim . 
• Make sure you have a good quality camera at hand for key points in your life like signing a contract, winning an award etc. It looks like you’ve achieved things in your life and builds intrigue. 

Other Platforms to Store Photos and Value: 

WeChat 

 Download WeChat which is the social media platform that is extremely popular around China, Hong Kong ,Taiwan  Macau and is used all the time by Chinese students studying in the UK. If you’re into Asian women you really want to  upload high quality photos on there. We chat is the form of communication in China and its best you use that rather than going for a “whatsapp” or instagram as Instagram/Facebook is not as popular amongst Chinese students as WeChat is  . It’s all in all better to use a mode of social media where you can upload photos win rapport and prevent the girl being scared of you or thinking that you’re a rapist.  WeChat has similar picture upload functions to Facebook and Instagram and when closing a Chinese girl you can simply ask for their WeChat “QR Code”.

Youtube:

 I do a lot of standup comedy performances which I record using a high quality Sony and Canon Cam-recorders store a lot of them online on a youtube channel. This is great for rapport building when I have women back at my place I can playback the stand up videos. This adds value, shows the woman I’m a talented individual who can make people laugh and have confidence enough  to go on stage. Sometimes I send the stand up videos to girls before I date them if they’re still nervous about me and need more rapport. Once they’ve seen that my Youtube channels have a few thousand views its likely to build trust. I also run a health blog and store instruction videos on there that also have a few thousand views. Again anything that helps to build rapport is worth doing as it results in less flakes in the long run. Make sure to link your creative Youtube projects in your Instagram bio.

Personal Blogs/Photography Projects:

If you have an interesting blog or photography project its best to upload a link to the URL website in your Instagram bio which can help greatly with your brand 

Personal Business: 

Again the same thing as personal blogs  if you run a business make sure you but that in your Instagram bio as it can help entice more interest.  Make sure your Business website is attractive etc.

Whatsapp: 

Having a good WhatsApp photo is crucial to make a strong first impression. Please don’t use shit quality selfies it just makes you look like an absolute creep. Same rules of WhatsApp and Facebook stories apply to Instagram stories. 

Differentiating between good and bad quality photos: 

Didn’t include them of me on here as i don’t feel comfortable sharing my face on a men’s dating guide .. thats just me but heres a few travel photos that help build up rapport and interest. Here’s a guide of how I coached one of my Wingmen into getting better photographs: 

For a lot of guys my friend Steven was a very handsome looking guy but was unable to convey his looks in photos properly and it was causing him a lot of problems, note these following two pictures: 

Examples of bad and good pictures: 

These two pictures have obvious problems and are similar to a lot of the ones I see “Rookie Puas” Posting . For one the camera used (a mobile phone) is unable to give us good detail about Steven’s handsome looks which is a shame, the area in the first pic looks boring and the caption seems a bit immature. The second pic inspire of his great body you can barely see him. Not showing off his plus points to the best of his ability. These pictures make him seem a bit clueless and immature along with showing girls he clearly doesn’t care how he presents himself despite having an immaculate body

After some revisions with his photographs and taking them with a high quality lens we were able to display increased SMV by just having a better quality camera and some organisation and planning over how the photos were taken. These pictures took several attempts but all in all were very much worth the desired outcome of improving his sexual market value 

This picture above was taken during our day-game trip to Hong Kong at the Mandarin Oriental Hong Kong, a very high quality classy venue. He’s dressed in a suit displaying self awareness of fashion and the high quality lens brings out his facial features in a way most phone cameras cannot. As a man you have to be aware that the way you present yourself matters a lot to women so you 

should do your utmost to present yourself in the best possible limelight and to do that you need a good lifestyle as well as someone who is willing to take good pictures of you. 

Next up we have a better quality beach photo similar to the one in Barcelona but you can actually see him this time. It also brings out his body far far better than before which is a huge plus in terms of displaying his physical traits to the best of his ability. It also is taken in Hong Kong which shows he travels, can be used to build rapport on dates with travel minded girls whilst also offering a degree of comfort by showing he’s an adventurous person. 

Here above we  have a pic from a high end hotel in Guilin South China, this picture is good for a variety of reasons. 

1. It shows that he’s staying at high end places which displays value to women that he’s not broke. 
2. Shows that he’s adventurous going off the beaten trail in the not too popular Chinese cities 
3. Shows off a strong physique but not it too much of an obvious way like a Gym selfie would . 

All in all this picture serves to build a lot of comfort in many different ways.  These were just a few examples but its clear to see of how pictures can impact your brand and how you put yourself out there to women. 

This picture again above is also a high quality photo taken with an immaculate quality lens , its taken at the Harbour Grand Hotel in Hong Kong, shows a huge amount of value and prestige and shows off his body in mature way. A photo like this can build a huge amount of trust. 

Pictures don’t necessarily have to be of you they can be of places you’ve been on holiday , historical sites etc. But just make sure they’re taken with a quality lens and can make some sort of emotional impact on the people that are looking at them , here are a few pictures from my trips to Chengdu (City in China) and Macau. These pictures can also be used to hook girls and tell them travel stories on dates. It instantly gives people the impression that you’re proactive in your life which is always good to establish early on. 

As you can see from both of these pictures, theres a high quality artistic feel to them which shows that I’m a good photographer and shows I care about the presentation of how things look both attractive traits. Also the fact that I’m travelling “off the beaten trail” can be seen as an attractive asset as it comes across adventurous. 

Recommended Further Reading:

Email contact: darrenpua1@gmail.com
Mindful-Masculinity.org
Copyright- Darren Pua © October 2020 All rights Reserved .

Darren Pua  : The Wing-manning Guide 

For wing manning, networking etc. email: 

darrenpua1@gmail.com  for networking only I’m often in London,San Fransisco , Nice or Dubai for those interested. I am also not a coach/not selling any programmes and have no interest in live events or podcasting – thanks 🙂 . All this is free and my insight over 3 years of daygame and a further two of night game.

Why meet wingmen? 

The Classification  of Social Circles post university: 

 After I left university things in my dating life turned woefully low , I had little self esteem or self confidence after everything plunged into disarray as I had 0 women in my life and nothing but my uni friends and my old school friends to keep be company. As I attended parties and social events everything seemed stale and boring. I knew there had to be a way out of this rouge way of living as I needed to find new people to meet with and bond with that could redefine my life in a more positive light. Unfortunately life was not giving me any new social circles that could inspire me to make the change that i really needed. All I had were friends that weren’t interested in moving in the direction I wanted to. They thought day-game was creepy and unjust ironic seeing as most of them were approaching girls drunkingly in night clubs ( i cant think of anything creepier than that to be honest) So i took the plunge and met wings online. Around circa 2017 3 years after i left university i realised i could no longer carry on the way I was without daygame. Tinder and online were proving to be very shit ways to meet women , my social circle had calcified (all the women in it had long term boyfriends) there was nothing left for me to do but to go out and find what i needed for myself on my own. I then went on the wingmen forums like Simple Pickup looking for wings, although this was far from ideal it was a good start to meeting new people. It gave me a good insight into new friends I could make from doing this. Initially i started out meeting low value guys who even though they weren’t going far in life were still at least approaching women. They were still testing the boundaries of what i thought at the time to be incredibly difficult things to accomplish , just the simple act of approaching women was tough enough from my perspective and I’m glad that I finally at least had met some people that were capable of doing that. 

Friendships for the sake of friendships: 

When I was at school I had sort of friends not because they offered any real intrinsic value to me other than talking about football and playing football. Then at university i had “friends” but these “friends” never bypassed any level of value beyond being drinking buddies. There was nothing I gained from these friendships outside the stuff we’d do together, drink, do drugs, creep around girls in an informal inauthentic way….and thats about it. Uni ended in 2014 for me, but the habits of my friends from university continued. The friendship circles have stayed the same SIX years on. Six years, plus the 3 years at uni thats an eighth of your life with the same friends and relationships. Of course then theres work. I made friends at work but then again beyond drinking and talking about sports and the same old crap that men talk about these friendships weren’t creative at all. They weren’t inspiring they didn’t offer anything for me and its the sort of shit men get into and get stuck into all the time and its awful. They’re unable to be self aware that to attract women who will stick around they need to build dynamic and interesting lives which includes having friends and other men that they can build with. Unfortunately most men aren’t self aware of this at all. They just make friends with people at school not because they could build a business, or build something with those individuals but because those individuals were there at the right place at the right time….thats it. Just “Friends” because they stood next to one another at the correct time of place. In my opinion if you want to get good at seduction, day-game you will need real friends and a real social circle. This takes times as with anything in life but as I will say many times over that this is worth it in the long run. 

When social circles end you must move on and be proactive about it.

The biggest problem I see with guys at the end of university is they cling on to friendships with nostalgia of what that friendship gave them in the past.  A classic case scenario was at university a guy at my school was extremely popular in the “A” team at rugby. He was top of that social  hierarchy and thrived of it. He got a whole lot of women due to being the alpha of the pack. Then university ended thus the rugby team ended and everything he’d worked hard for during those three years condensed into nothing . This is nothing new it is inevitably going to happen when you move jobs , universities , schools that your social circles will dismantle and you must be proactive in creating new ones or else your life will hit brick wall after brick wall. Which is what i found happened to me after uni was finished i was annoying the same old leads from university, I was needy over a few girls that meant next to nothing to me (because I was unable to create new options myself) . It all in all was just not working well for me.  It wasn’t sustainable and i had to be proactive about it. No one is going to change your social life for you except you. And unless you become Dan Bilzerian or Drake you must work hard to build that social circle because lord knows its not coming for you out of thin air, you must proactive about it. 

Of course the question is never really set in stone but daygame, social circle building and “social dynamics” is rarely something that can be accomplished on your own the fact is that building an attractive and seductive life that women will want to be apart of having good wingmen that are socially calibrated and good friends with you are vital to keeping women in your life for the longterm. Accomplishing big things on your own is tough and day-game , social interactions etc. are difficult to do on your own. If you try and do it all on your own i don’t believe you will be able to reach your potential than you could do if you had solid wingmen. I’ve found that many wingmen I’ve met have gone on to be close friends of mine, potential business partners, travel buddies and have kept life feeling fresh. It’s also made the daily habit of approaching women much easier when I’m around people who just encourage me to do so. Im not around my uni friends who think its weird or creepy but I’m around my solid crew of wings who encourage me and have my back and thats worth its weight in gold in the long run. 

Modern Day Puas approach to Construction of Social Circles

Ironically (leaving RSD out of this equation because I’m not a fan of the way that organisation is run) few famous Puas ever talk about having a seductive life social circle that women will want to be a part of. Its a common problem I see with young seducers that enter the seduction scene at 18-26 they have no idea at all about how to create a mature social environment which women will enjoy being a part of. I actually see it being a problem in older Puas or men in dating too, they have no interesting friends for the women he’s trying to seduce to be enticed by.  They are  lacking complete self awareness about this and have no idea what to do about it. Of course can you blame men? I most certainly wont as most people are completely oblivious to how to make friends outside their social circle at school and their work place. Men need to learn how to do this quick…except we were never told and by day-game coaches we are rarely told how to build a genuine circle and what to do to maintain friendships long term. Much PUA content is focused on approaching, analytics of the sexual market place  or just red-pill reddit shit about some 45 year old American’s bad divorce, little is focused on cultivating strong real friendships. Even in the high end scene you will find a lot of fake non congruent people , in the PUA scene you will find a ridiculous amount of these people, its important to learn how to ride the tide and deal with these people effectively and productively or longterm you’ll burn out and it wont be very fun. 

There is little guidance about it bar the odd Tom Torero wing manning infield video, a few RSD “social circle” game videos that to some degree miss some key points that i would like to address. 

James Marshall made some decent speeches here and there about it. Dj Fuji also mentioned in his 21 convention speeches that you must find wingmen who open lots of sets. At the time when i first heard this aged 21 i had no idea what “finding someone who opened a lot meant” now i understand and completely agree. You need wingmen who take action and thats one of the key most important factors because as the modern self help phrase goes “you’re the average of the 5 people you’re around the most” if you’re around people who approach a lot you will pick up their positive habits and influences. If you’re around people who get angry, stall and get negative you will pick up their habits too. So its vital that you pick wingmen who’s habits are worth emulating. Pick your wingmen wisely as  you will most likely (because thats how human nature works ) do what they’ll do in the long run. So if you’re around a lot of people who are anxious as fuck and make excuses you’ll sure as a hell do that too. 

Even after having some success from Daygame, a few lays here and there and some success on day-game trips I realised how important wings were to the equation in terms of lifestyle design . You need a team around you at some stage thats going to be reliable and will help you become a better man and you’re going to have to add value to those in your team . Without doing this things are going to get lonely and maybe even feel a bit pointless. After all what is the point in success if theres no one to share it with. 

Men’s addiction to fraudulent social circles, how it can ruin your life. 

Men are idiots, they either have no real social circles or are addicted to ones where they are either addicted to one which they are high up in that might end or wont last its course, like the boss at the workplace or the alpha rugby team captain. 

Incidentally it was Rollo Tomassi who wrote in his book The Rational Male warning about the harms of “false alphas” He was correct in a lot of assertions , men cling on and seduce women in these false alpha environments where they’re the alpha due to the something that isn’t a sustainable social circle then when that circle goes what was attractive and seductive about them is gone.  Men can get addicted to what makes them alpha even if it causes their life to be distorted. Like men who choose to because diving instructors on tourist resorts so they can sleep with women they teach or men who constantly go to where they are alpha in Thailand and Philippines where their sexual market value is infinitely higher to that of a city like London. I saw it a lot in my social circles with my rugby friends being addicted to hanging out with their old rugby friends at university not because anything spectacular was accomplished in their friendship groups besides drinking excessively and chanting lad stuff at girls. If anything I believe these friendship groups stayed together due to an appreciation of a happier time back at university when they were “the  alpha”. Most men haven’t got the confidence to step away from what makes them falsely alpha and move onto a path that can show them real alpha like finding a good social circle in a city where approaching is tough which will require them to have seductive skills. 

What good wingmen can do for you? 

• Help you be more productive in Daygame sessions. A proactive full energy wingman can help you reach your day-game potential more effectively and efficiently they can provide that push and accountability resulting in far less strain on your mind and far more being achieved . 
• Can help you in group sets.  A good wingman can bring out the best in you when it comes to gaming groups and can be invaluable in this regard, approaching sets can be extremely mentally exhausting as you’re dealing with more than 2-3 different women’s emotions at anyone time, thoughts and feelings ranging from joy to jealousy will occur  this requires a huge amount of mental energy and strong game to combat. A wingman will make this infinitely easier and can buy you time to close the woman you want by distracting the friend and helping avoid the friend getting bitter and jealous. 
• Can help create a decent social circle for you that women will want to be a part of. Though some people enjoy being a lone ranger a far more efficient and seductive method is to have a social circle that women will want to be a part of thats interesting enough so that a woman would want to bring their friends into your group and circle. This makes it far easier to hold the frame. Think about this theoretically having attractive and interesting friends make it easier for the woman to build trust with you , makes the woman more interested in your life as a whole and can make it easier for help to contribute to you by having you meet her friends. 
• Can offer support throughout relationships. When i was going through difficult breakups with girls whom I had met via day game it was the supportive wingmen that helped me get through them the most , wingmen can share knowledge and ideas about how to keep relationships fresh and interesting. I’ve learnt a lot about textgame, instagram game and dating from my wingmen, a constant value exchange and knowledge can be made between the wingmen and you that can add a huge amount to your life. 
• James Marshall’s 21 convention speech about having a good social group   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfR3gsc_YNs 
• Men need other men around them. You’re far better off with hard working men around you than you are on your own provided you have the similar hard work ethics and desire to get good. I approach far more when I’m with friends than without, I do better in set when I’m with friends than without I’m all together a better more social person when i have high quality  people backing me up . 
• I’ve rarely seen people keep women , long term without friends and a social circle to back them up. The more lone wolf seducers I’ve seen i don’t seem to be too impressive with their long term results. Men are under the delusion that they can do every single thing optimally in their life on their own are just living in a state of delusion. Does a person who owns a restaurant  cook the food, clean the kitchen, wait the tables and organise the kitchen out? You’ll need to build a social crew thats dynamic and this will take a lot of time but it will be worth it in the long run.  
• As I said before you will most likely gain your wingmen’s positive habits, if your wingmen are hard working you’ll be hard working, if your wingmen take risks you in turn will take risks .
• Can be the start  of learning how to coach people. Who better to start coaching than your wingmen? If you bring the best out of your wingmen and they develop well from your guidance you could be suitable for starting to charge for coaching. 
• Save you time , this is the most important commodity by far that you have and I’ve found my sessions with wingmen to be overall much more productive and they’ve helped me in other ways to secure lays quicker and build rapport with women faster. This overall has had a net benefit of saving me time in my life. Of course there are wingmen that do drain you of your time by turning up late.. Chatting shit, lying , backstabbing, and doing all sorts of illusive shit habits but overall your wings should causing you to be more productive and more efficient leaving you with more time to do other things that you, yourself desire and want to do with your life. 
• Can be the start of new things for you beyond women. A lot of people you wing with can grow to be business partners , future close friends and people who you venture with to start projects out of daygame. After university finishes it can be immensely difficult to find social circles or new friends so wings can be vital in keeping your social life interesting and unique. I’ve seen many men who fall into a post university rut due to not having new friends to add to their social circle or to improve their life with. 

Things to look for in the characteristics of a good wingman:

1. Not overweight – Think from the woman’s perspective especially when it comes to the group sets dynamic that women will often judge the way your friends are far more harshly than how you judge their friends. The reason being for this is that women want to be around cool attractive social circles. So when picking your wingman make sure he isn’t over weight or has obvious character flaws. It reflects badly on you in interactions if you’re hanging out with someone thats low value. Ideally you will want to be with wings who are in good shape and take care of their physique and health properly. This can include eating clean as well. 
2. Poorly dressed. As with the weight issue , a poorly dressed wingman is the sign of someone with very little care or self awareness of themselves. Think about this figuratively for a minute if a woman sees you being unable to care about your appearance or the way you present yourself then she will instantly think that you’re someone who’s unable to look after her or serve as a proper partner. If you’re approaching women with someone who doesn’t give a fuck about what they’re wearing then once again it reflects badly on you. 
3. Isn’t autistic/retarded. Again hanging out with guys who say weird shit or scare off sets by saying stupid things once again reflects badly on you . A lot of men in the Pua community have high levels of autism its advised you avoid gaming and hanging with these individuals. 
4. Make sure that they’re proactive, you do not want to be with someone who constantly has self doubt or judgement, its not worth it. It will drain you, anyone who’s repeatedly negative is not worth your time. Neither is someone whose unhelpful and isn’t helping you out in your sets.
5. Presents himself well on social media: As i stated before in my other guides about instagram and social media. Its important to wing with someone who takes how they present themselves on social media seriously, good pictures and an adventurous life are key to displaying sexual market value. Increase the likelihood of double dates and of girls liking them in set. Remember women often see wingmen as a reflection of you and your social circle so make sure you pick good ones who are mature and attractive. 
6. Passionate to get good at this, they don’t necessarily have to be perfect no one is but its important that they’re out regularly and taking action far too many people in the community lounge around trying to create boring chit chat without taking any steps to get good at this , which means they’ll never be skilled at conversation or at making a good scene its a shame but  thats how most people who roll and do anything do, few can handle or persist to get good at anything and day-game is another one of those things. 
7. Hasn’t got too many bad habits that will infiltrate and disrupt yours, i.e. he doesn’t drink excessively , doesn’t talk rubbish during interactions constantly that will put girls off, isn’t immature, is mindful of others and is genuinely a “giving person”. 
8. Similar to the point i made before someone who’s open to meeting up people . In the long run if you’re socially proactive you’re going to need to meet people who are genuinely “people persons” 
9. Someone who isn’t too intense. I’ve met some men who are hyper approach machines who’s over intensity can be too much to deal with for a lot of people 
10. Doesn’t get easily frustrated , approaching is something that will be frustrating, someone with a low mental capacity for rejection and getting hated is probably not suited to doing this. Ironically I believe the better looking men on average actually take things a lot more personally than the less good looking or less accomplished men do. 

How do i know if I’m a good wingman?

• Do you work hard in your sets? Do you open and engage people correctly? 
• Are you well dressed mature, interesting and with enough conversation to keep things going in set for a good period of time? 
• Are you interested in everybody and every person? You are going to have to help keep conversation going , even with the fat girls and the girls you aren’t physically attracted to in order to be a good wingman you really have to have passion for everyone you talk to. 
• Are you consistently adding energy to the sets that you’re in? 
• Are you pushing wings so that they can be better and enjoying themselves more?

When i started out on the day gaming journey i wasn’t doing any of this. I was simply standing there not doing anything or opening conversations. I wasn’t adding value. ONLY offer to wing when you are ADDING value to someone first. Or else you’ll come across as selfish, weak, draining and all together you will have wings flake on you. Ask yourself how many wings are coming back to work with you? How many are genuinely interested in being your long term connection or friend ? These are all reflections of your character that you should consider. Don’t be a selfish individual , make sure you’re the one bringing energy and enthusiasm  first and foremost.  It takes time to get good at day-game like anything else and there will always be people at different levels. It’s not your job to coach people but try and offer guidance whenever you can but not too much to the point where you’re essentially offering free coaching. Value your time and the things you do in life don’t stay with wingmen who you believe aren’t calibrated, are poorly dressed , aren’t giving any value but purely taking it form you. Its not worth your time to be around these people. 

Online Dating and the destruction of Male bonds and friendships

I often get caught up in debates with people online over the pros and cons of online dating. With many swearing by it and believing its the best way to meet women especially during Covid 19 . But I feel online has left a plethora of harmful side effects that will come back to haunt men in the future. Most notably the lack of real world intimacy with other men as well as women. One of the most positive aspects of online dating was that it bought men together to take action on their lives and on their problems , some of my best friends now are from day-game and those friendships even to this day still yield massive returns both in more relationships/ networking and other adventures. I wouldn’t have gotten any of this had i stuck with swiping on tinder. I believe dating apps further isolate men and can cause real long term problems which don’t serve as adequate solutions to their dating troubles. If men are stuck in their room swiping and fucking the occasional girl on tinder it isn’t leading them to come together and forming real solutions to their dating problems. Far from it, they’re just stuck in bad quality dating habits, unable to really put their neck on the line or create a true tribe of men and friendship circles that women will want to be a part of. Which is why I’m so against online, it stops men from picking up that vital skill of actually putting themselves out there which is so crucial to the development of themselves. I honestly think men would be a lot happier though the daygame and wing-manning path than from isolating tinder and hinge matches and trying to get them in bed with little else interesting to offer the women. Not to mention that day-game wings can build rapport themselves to increase the likelihood of women staying in your life. 

What to do if you enjoyed your wing manning session with someone? 

Tell them you had a good time and would like to see them again. Try and find a way where you can constantly add value to them by helping them in their group sets , pushing them into harder sets , mentoring them a bit and offering them support. Maybe seek to make the relationship deeper into a full blow friendship outside of day-game . Offering value in terms of adding them to your social circle ( a good one which has interesting and dynamic people in it) Remember that real friendships are a value exchange this is presented well in the James Marshall video “The Seductive economy” 

Start by first and foremost however by criticising yourself, was it you or was it your wing man that was making the mistakes in this session. Always criticise yourself first and argue with yourself about what you could have done to make the session more productive. Theres no point in blaming anyone else really but yourself . The action comes from you first and foremost and when you’re walking down the streets of London it should be you thats opening not anyone else really.  If you didn’t enjoy your vibe with him and you were working hard and bringing good energy and value then ditch him. You owe him nothing he’s just a guy you met online after all there will be others after him . Try and offer constructive feedback as to what you didn’t like about him and watch how he responds if he takes things personally then he’s most definitely not the wingman for you.  If you find your wing inept then just say to them that you think its best that you guys see other people its usually quite easy after one session to tell whether someone is right or not to go out with you. 

Ask yourself the following questions about your wing:  

Ask yourself did your wing help you in difficult sets or when you needed help? If he repeatedly doesn’t then it probably means he’s a selfish character or not really social enough to get the ball rolling on the difficult sets.

Was he positive and proactive or draining you with consistent questions? I meet a lot of wings who do nothing but drain, just ask questions, offer no mature value or have any real self awareness . 

Is he draining or adding? Thats the big question you gotta ask yourself, you cant keep carrying dead weight all the time its not your duty at all to do this you’re not a servant to your wings but its meant to be a value exchange in which you’re constantly helping each other. 

Did you guys cause more procrastination for one another? This is another common problem I see in wing manning that both people come together and just talk a lot rather than being proactive about the approaches and taking action which makes the situation sometimes worse than before you guys met. Try and avoid this from happening by making sure you yourself are entering difficult sets at all times and not letting the comfort of your friend cause you to not perform to your best. 

Positive Characteristics you should look out for in your wing:

If your wing shows 4 or more of these characteristics  that i have listed above then you should keep strive to keep them. Because from my experience in meeting wings online the majority of them wont be very good. Its like anything in life , there will be a percentage of people that you don’t have chemistry with and don’t vibe with. Its like dating, you go on 10 dates there might be around 7-8 of them that aren’t a good fit for you and this is fine. You cant get along with everyone in life nor should you. You should play the field and go out with as many wing men as possible to get a good feeling of who you build a bond with. This will enable you to find new friends, get a good idea of what you really want in your wingmen and build a social circle. But remember things like this take a huge amount of time to work out properly. Its not going to happen over night. Anything thats worth having in life takes time and failure to build as does with building a seductive social circle that women will want to be a part of. Think of it like building a house each person you go out with could be possible foundation, I know people from pickup forums who i met 2-3 years ago that ended up being some of my closest most valuable friends today. If you find yourself going years without making any decent wingmen or friends in the PUA community you need to really look at yourself , analyse what are you personally bringing to the table? And from that personal analysis seek to change yourself for the better so people will want to hang out with you more. 

Are your group sets hooking or getting bored of you? If they are read more books, watch more documentaries , watch  more stand up comedy shows and/or routines so you have interesting conversation to hook people with. Meditate and do yoga more this will help your mind be more in the moment and an energy and presence that people will really and truly feel. 

Are you well dressed? Be honest look in the mirror and ask “would I fuck myself?” As immature a question as this is you need to present yourself well for girls to win trust with you and for your wingmen to win trust in you as well. A poorly dressed/poorly groomed individual looks like he doesn’t care about life and will lose trust in his wingmen and women around him. 

Do you have hobbies and are interesting? If not then get some 🙂 

Are you part of an interesting social circle that can add value ? 

Do you have skills and interests that are captivating enough to add value to a social circle that you’re in? I once winged with a saxophone player who was able to get me on the guest list to major clubs in London because he’d played at them before. This is an example of adding value based on the skills you have. If you have high level values and skills , show case them and give to your circle remember it should always be you giving first if you can, if you see that a person is worth while holding and keeping into your circle then seek to help them in ever which way you can. This said saxophone player also drove a very nice convertible and used it to help drive my second ever day-game lay straight back to my house for me . I returned the favour my letting him use the spare room in my house  for him to use to fuck his girls in . This sort of exchange can help build a friendship over time and build rapport more easily with women. That one wing had done more for me in terms of getting laid than any of my friends at university did. Shows the strength that good wingmen can add to your arsenal. 

What if the person who I’m winging has more value than me? I’ve been around a lot of wings who’ve had more value than me and thats ok. As long as you systematically think of a way in which you can add value in them in return. For example i had a close friendship with 3 wingmen who were all high achieving impressive individuals, on a business and entrepreneurial level I was unable to add any real value to them but i made sure on their birthdays that i got them special presents. One of them was Ghanian and into history so i bought him a book about African politics, he was also into tech and  ai so i bought him a book about the future of Ai. This shows that you value your wings beyond daygame, that you value their friendships beyond simple chasing of women and making the gifts and contributions more personal shows you care about the individual. it also leaves opportunity for that person to be in your social circle for a longer period of time and they will be more likely to return favours to you in the future. In a more simple way you can add value to your wings by bringing a load of energy in field and ensuring to wingmen them at any given opportunity. I once was invited to a house party by a high valued social circle, there was little I could do to add value however i bought a girl a long who I had no feelings for the owner of  the house party fucked her. I was pretty satisfied after that night we went and enjoyed a club night together which i got free entry to and was invited out to future parties in which i was able to contribute to by bringing women i’d seduced from Daygame. Again it’s important to think about a value exchange between those who you really want to keep in your social circle I made sure that the owner of this said house party knew I had at least some seductive skills because I was able to contribute to the party with a girl , I wasn’t some random immature lonely “pua” as a lot of people from forums can be. I was able to actually contribute with something dynamic and real. 

Problems I see with wingmen today in London Day-game: 

• Immature wingmen who offer little in conversation skills 
• Poor Dress and grooming which will lead to more blow outs in the long run.
• Not pushing into hard challenging sets. 
• Takes criticism too personally and gets reactive when you criticise them. It’s important for anyone who’s into improving themselves in day-game to be open minded about their strengths and weaknesses. 
• Critiques you but doesn’t take any action himself . See this a lot with wingmen on forums and chat groups. Constantly criticising and mocking others but not actually taking actions themselves. These people are to be avoided in the long term as they’re most likely delusional. 
• Complete Inaction and overanalyses coming from wings, remember day-game is fundamentally about taking action and getting shit done, if a wing is overthinking and not doing anything then you will inherit his bad habits. 
• Autism and a complete lack of self awareness or maturity. Some people in this community are severely autistic and really won’t be of any use in daygaming with. Their lack of self awareness and complete stupidity may see their value to be less than 0 and should be avoided. 
• So into “self development” that there is no actual self development happening. 
• “RSD fanboys” that watch all the videos but have too much personal pride to ever do an approach, the day-game community is full of people who want to look cool, look like they never fail etc. But when push comes to shove there’s no real action or open mindedness there. There’s just fear of failure and try hard attempts to “look cool” 
• People with confidence issues and over analytical minds. 
• An aura of self entitlement purely because they approached, seen a number of wings get frustrated and angry very easily at  even the slightest rejections. 
• People who study too much and have no self awareness of how to implement ideas properly. People who read a lot, watch a lot, but when push comes to shove they do next to nothing in field. 
• Men who cant deal with the actual responsibility of relationships. This is an interesting one but I find that many wings actually blow themselves out or prevent themselves from acquiring any real true relationships it’s a huge shame but many men are actually so use to failure in this area of their lives that when successes come they self sabotage and ruin it for themselves. It’s a sad reality but it’s sort of our habitual nature as human beings to sometimes act this way. Similarly dealing with the expectations on date’s of having to act charismatic and having to bring something to the table in terms of dynamism or interest seems a bit too much for a lot of men who would prefer to be at the pub with their friends or watching sports than deal with responsibilities of women. I’ve personally found that dealing with the success of daygame to be a lot harder than dealing with the failures.
• Wingmen who burn out due to being unable to manage the workload – this is something i saw in me when i started game and during my day-game career. But i also see it as a problem with day gamers and wings 2-3 months into their day-game careers. Men who are unable to deal with the mental drain of approaching women , the emotions involved of managing numerous different relationships  which can be extremely burdensome for men especially for new day gamers who are not used to this phenomenon of having to date many different individuals and dealing with the insecurities and emotions of the women themselves. Dating is hard, its tiring , it’s confusing and so much random shit can happen at any time so you should be prepared for a lot of failure. Sadly a lot of Daygamers cant deal with the mental drain and you’ll find some mentally aren’t cut out to do it repeatedly. 

Good wingmaning in field: 

Great video from TNL:

Do the hard sets, do the groups that test you and make you strong, you’ll feel happier at the end of the day knowing you did something that well and truly tested your social calibration skills. 

Pre-Approach: Decide which one is going in first and open up first with one person going in. Don’t go two or three at a time over a group it can look a bit like a mugging go slow and calibrated instead. If the women are hooking for 1-2 minutes  then join in.

Things to do in set: 

A decent wingmanning video can be watched on TNL video here: 

• Always give energy to the whole group never make any girl feel like they’re left out . 
• Even if you’re winging a fat , unattractive girl make sure you’re still giving her interest and passion the same you would do for someone that you’re interested in , its vital. You must spread positivity in your set even if you don’t like them.
• Make sure you close the girl you want and the wing closes the other girl , even if you’re not interested in the girl you’re winging you must still close her you don’t want to make her feel left out. If she feels left out she’s likely to say to her friend “ don’t text him he’s a dick” 

Things not to do with your wingmen :

• Walk excessively without approaching anyone, then this really becomes a walk in the park with friends rather than a day-game  session.
• Wait for them for ages when they’re in set. Come on he’s a grown man he can look after himself its your job to be proactive and approach other sets. 
• Drain him with excessive questions and rubbish that isn’t worth talking about, don’t wear out your friends they don’t deserve it ! 

Post set: 

• Try and give each other feedback , praise first before critiquing
• Keep on approaching with huge effort and energy try not to let the positives or negatives of the previous approach get too much to you.  Some men get over excited when they get numbers or Instagrams which causes them to lose focus. Whereas others let rejection to them so much that they just kill the day with negativity. 

Ways to meet Daygamers: 

Posting for wings can be done on the following two forums, i’ve met men through all three , simply post a passionate message looking for mature wingmen and 

• Pua forums: Simple Pickup forum- This is highly internationally recognised (although is currently down at time of writing) 
• https://www.puaforums.co.uk interestingly ive met my most interesting wingmen through forums these seem to be the most seriously dedicated and mature men. 
• Telegram RSD Chat – probably the most effective way to find wings although many can be of poor quality. There are also a good number of fake individuals here who seem to talk the talk but never walk the walk .  Try not to immerse yourself in discussions too much. Your time is precious and shouldn’t be spent trying to convince some noob end in their mother’s basement on your opinions on day-game or relationship dynamics. Getting into spats online is just a waste of your mental energy so try and avoid too much conversation and try and see who’s being proactive and taking action. You can only solve this issue by taking action yourself  in the first place of course and “leading” others to do so with you. 
• SoSauve Forum –  This was the forum that got Rollo Tommasi his fame in the book The Rational Male Although this is far more international than puaforums.co.uk that tend to be more localised to the UK .  Be aware that in certain muslim countries sosauve forum is actually blocked I was actually denied access to it while travelling in Kazakstan  . 
• If you watch and see someone else stopping a girl on a street and you liked his approach go and speak to him be upfront with him about what you liked. Make sure you add value to him first by giving him honest compliments and ask in a forward manner to exchange numbers. 

Meetup groups: Tom Torrero Frequently holds meet up groups that he talks about in his podcasts as do other London Puas like James Tusk . 

Further Commitment with your wingmen : 

Gaming Trips: Before you commit to a gaming trip make sure you’ve at least had 10 or so days out with your wingmen before committing to a gaming holiday. This will be a great way to enhance your relationship with your wing and you’ll be able to pickup on his good and bad habits that can make you realise whether he’s worth of starting a hustle house with or not. Be sure to pick someone who’s open to new things , who can offer value and insight . Make sure you bring a top quality camera and take photos of one another to enhance your Instagram profiles and show off your value to women.  I recommend low investment gaming trips to begin with to a nearby city or country. If you’re UK based a trip to Ukraine or Albania will be very cheap and affordable to do so if things were to go wrong it wouldn’t matter that much as the trip wont have cost much to begin with. Only after you’ve built some long term trust with your wingmen should you big longer distance areas and more expensive holidays like to South East Asia etc. 

Hustle Houses 

Having a hustle house is a great option but make sure before you choose your wings carefully. Make sure you’ve spent time gaming with your wings for at least a month to get to know their flaws and their strengths. Its important you find someone you vibe with well , who girls enjoy being around . Remember women will judge your friends almost as much as they judge you. Make sure you’re loyal to those wingmen who you choose to room with in the same way that they should be loyal to you. Hustle Houses can make maintaining good daygaming habits a lot easier to do and will make your daygaming journey altogether more efficient.  Maybe start off with a day-game holiday first to see if you can cope with your close day gamers habits first. Don’t rush into a flat share with some random chode from a Pua forum you really need to pick your team wisely and take your time deciding who’s good to commit to. 

Tips for a good Hustle house: 

• Make sure you can absolutely trust the  wingmen you are with. I’ve said this twice and repeated it but its just really important. You don’t want fights , conflicts over girls etc. to occur a few months down the line. 
• Pick a good location one which you’re near to areas of large footfall for example in London somewhere near Soho will be a good idea.  This will avoid procrastination that comes with moving to desired daygaming spots. 
• Make sure the house is clean and tidy at all times. 
• Make sure the house is stacked with food, wine and other alcohol for potential same day lays and parties . 
• Make sure your wingmen have good conversation skills and are genuinely “people person’s” this is probably the most important thing to have in a good wingman. You don’t want your girl or her friends to be put off by retarded things that you and your wingmen are saying to them. You want to make sure that your wingmen are providing mature conversation as women will often judge your friends in a similar way to how they judge you. They don’t want to date someone who has loser friends. 

Things to do to enhance your hustle house’s relationship with your wingmen 

• buy birthday presents for your wingmen to show you appreciate their value – this may seem like I’m joking or being childish but showing appreciation to your wingmen is crucial for maintaining a proper friendship and relationship with them. 
• Cook for them occasionally 
• Contribute to their parties they host by bringing a camera to take pictures or alcohol or something which they will appreciate / bring women along to prevent said parties from turning into a cock fest. 
• Show respect towards their woman, never insult your wingmen in front of their women
• Obviously never hit on a wingman’s girl. 
• Be clean and show strong habits that can improve day-game regular meditation and yoga being two i love to do. 
• Always try and add comfort by listening and being attentive to your wing’s women. Add maturity to the situation by asking questions to her and showing respect towards your friend in-front of her. 

Good quality wingmen last a life time most women ultimately won’t 

This is one thing I’ve certainly noticed having done day-game for a period of 3-4 years. Women will come and go especially in busy cities like London which has many tourists and students coming in and out of it all the time . Building a solid social base is crucial and much more sustainable than relying on women to for fill that with you especially as overtime these women will have different goals and aspirations as you. I’ve held at kept a good decent 10-15 wingmen in my social circle through time and this has been vital to my growth as a human being and honestly the new friendships I’ve made from doing this have been far more valuable than the women themselves that I’ve met. The men themselves have definitely added more long term value to my life than the women have and this has made me realise the importance of a good , strong social circle hence why I wrote this guide. 

Conclusions:

The ideal self help guy , as James Marshall put It in his speech “The Tim Ferris” Fan boy is one who is constantly obsessed about being the best person he can be, optimising his health , smashing it in business dating relationships, working out at the gym , eating 2 grass fed steaks, working 12 hours, then learning languages for 2 more hours , then learning to paint for another 1 hour before optimally approaching 5.6 girls and doing it all on his own before going to bed thinking he can constantly do this for the rest of his life without getting worn out. As I’ve said before this is an unrealistic goal yet one many men try to reach for some reason, maybe its an ego thing maybe its a negative by product of excess self help reading but nonetheless its a byproduct and it seems to be ever present in our society of self help gurus that really think we can work 20 hours a day by ourselves and achieve everything all at once its laughable the amount of men who honestly think this to be the case . I don’t blame them, i blame their lack of self awareness when they grow up. As we are not told about these things at all, I blame self help books a lot and see them as a forefront of the issue of our lives. All in all i just want to say to people reading this that i hope you’ve decided to go out and make some friends who have the same mission as you whether that be in seduction or something else. Having strong responsible men around you makes everything in life just a whole lot easier and saves you a huge amount of time and effort. 

 A lot of wingmen suck but that’s life, a lot of people suck at a lot of things. A lot of bankers suck, a lot of teachers suck, politicians bar maybe a few in Iceland suck hopefully after reading this you’ll be inspired to find some girls who suck 😉 just kidding . On a serious note my journey getting into this was a tough one as the first 8 wingmen I met were extremely weird, not very social , didn’t have much going on in their lives and were extremely toxic. It was only until six months in my journey that i actually found wingmen that were worth hanging around with long term and many of them became some of my best friends. The thing as I’ve said before and ill repeat again this shit is hard and you cant do it all on your own. You will need support to do well in this because no one can do it on their own… well a few can but most I’ve seen that have garnered long term genuine success did it because they were part of a team. it can be frustrating gaming with people who have no social awareness, or any self awareness about how they act or offer value to people. Indeed this has been a frustration of game has been meeting too many people who were totally inept at offering any value to women or to their wings and of course its frustrating being around these people but you gotta go through it. Finding wingmen is almost the same as finding good quality women to date there are loads that aren’t good enough, loads that wont like you or wont vibe with you but in the long run you’ll find those who are worth it and who make everything seem worth it in the long run. 

Additional Recommendations: 

DJ Fuji 21 Convention speeches :  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMBsUbZoiuo

James Marshall 21 Convention Speeches:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfR3gsc_YNs