Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc.  For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France, San Fransisco or Dubai if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com 

A fair percentage of the major coaches of the past are either dead or retired:

The Death of major dating coaches 

Losing Tom Torero two years ago I think was a pretty huge blow to the dating Manosphere  so to speak. He was definitely the most consistent dating coach out there who was really well and truly dedicated to the cause of daygame. He gamed in over 30 nations, wrote comprehensive pieces and kept the community alive with constant meet-ups and good content both in the form of YouTube and podcasts.  Looking at dating and the seduction community right  now you’d be hard pressed to find a “new Tom Torero”  To find someone as dedicated to the game as Tom will be pretty hard pressed to find in the future and to be honest I don’t think we will ever get one. I understand he made mistakes in the past and did some dishonest things but still his net benefit to the community was huge and his void will be deeply missed. 

Further more the death of Alan Roger Currie was similarly a big blow to the community at large his death also was a big surprise considered he recently had two children and is somewhat an example of the negatives of leaving it too late to have a family. Currie who estimated to have around 120 lays as a result of his mode one direct daygame past away aged 59 due to health complications . Maybe an example that those committed to daygame should settle down a bit quicker now his death leaves another big void in the dating coach scene and for his own family – two children who have to grow up without a father is a sad sight indeed. 

Another 21 convention speaker Andrew the Private man who’s blog here  also passed 

https://theprivateman.wordpress.com/

Had some wonderful dating insights for men and was truly an admirable man who will be missed by all. 

Will there be a new generation of coaches ? Judging by activity the PUA  forums and how little proactive action one witnesses it’s easy to predict probably there won’t be.

The Retirement of Key Dating Coaches 

Liam McRae was arguably one of my favourite coaches on The Natural Lifestyles and  gave some genuinely good advice . He may not be liked by other favourite coaches of mine like Nick Krauser but he still had a lot of valuable insights.  His books are listed here: 

Im not under any commission and I don’t think any of them are longer available along with his Youtube content which has now been deleted. But if you search for him in podcasts you should be able to find a few key interviews of his particularly his 21 convention one. Recommend you give him a listen here:

Tony Solo was another TNL coach that seemingly disappeared into thin air. Along with James Marshall’s once PsychKick Sasha daygame. Albeit they were never the most appealing coaches to me personally they still had a decent sized following especially Sasha who in my opinion seemingly went on too much of a “spiritual woo woo “  path. 

RSD is obviously another one that burned out too fast. From my perspective the business grew too quickly and they got too greedy hiring too many coaches at once which eventually exposed their coaching programs as flawed.  If you hire too much at once it obviously has ramifications on how it impacts your business for me personally RSD was one example of a business that suffered from excessive growth and fame and as a result they paid the price for it after providing what seemed to be a lot of substandard bootcamps but their free content was still pretty decent. 

Yad another famous coach who went in retirement last year achieved critical acclaim and cashed on his success by being a coach. The fact that some fat slob could achieve so much in the dating realm by being so little was certainly inspiring. However according to my friends who winged and lived with him he rarely bought back above a 6 to his house still a remarkable achievement for someone so fat and a loss to the daygame community nonetheless… 

The Risk Attached with being a dating coach now is too high to make it worthwhile 

Dating coaches obviously have a high early retirement rate. Few last the block either they get burnt out from their own career and turn to spirituality akin to Sasha Daygame or they just want to do something else because they want to build their identity completely on something different akin to Liam McRae. They also face the risk of being vilified by mainstream media. Look at Tom Torero’s death after being pursued by journalist Danya Hajjaji they froze his bank accounts and took all his income away from him. Paypal being partly responsible as well as they suspended his respective incomes from there . Now Tom Torero was a flawed individual by all accounts, him recording audio taking a woman’s virginity was a dumb fucking move considering the way pick-up artists are treated in the MSM but he didn’t deserve to have his bank accounts and income payments frozen as a result . Im sure this incident will most likely put off future coaches from putting themselves out there and further disincentivizing the publishing of PUA content.  I mean why even publish anything for free only to have your career wrecked and your name in lights? 

Another example of this is in the London Daygame group “game global” which got ridiculed by MSM too https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9729855/British-childrens-author-Game-Global-social-network-pick-artists.html  again if you’re the forefront of these things you always risk ridicule as a result. The risks attached usually far outweigh the benefits involved.  Im not a game global fan but I don’t think they should be ridiculed in this way at all when there’s no direct proof that any of it’s founders did anything wrong. 

Don’t dating coaches also get burnt out too?I can imagine that was a contributing factor to some coaches like Liam McRae, Tony Solo, the Simple Pickup Group retiring dating coaching isn’t a long term job for the majority of coaches. Long term they most likely quit due to the intensity of the job , MSM pressure or some other reasonings along those lines.  The good ones of 5-10 years ago most didn’t last till this day. I mean other than Nick Krausser maybe Mystery, James Marshall  and Zan Perrion none of them have pretty much survived to this day . I admire dating coaches that have survived this long – It certainly takes a lot of mental work and anguish to keep up with the work load of having to deal with a lot of clients with different issues plus the pressure from MSM and angry anti- PUA trolls .

The Dishonesty behind PUA 

It’s hard to keep businesses afloat when they’re dishonest right? PUA has been full of this from selling overpriced products to coaches who just out and out lie. 

Liars include some of my favourites like Tom Torero who payed for a kiss close or John Antony lifestyles who appears to be taking some photos with prostitutes  as his “ infield proof”  the tales of dishonesty don’t stop there. 

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Simplepickup were my favourite coaches of the early 2010s I really admired them as pioneers for what they did now ? After Jesse made a course called “Endless Options”  something weird came about with him allegedly hiring a good looking poker player to message his own girlfriend on tinder and used screenshots of that thereafter claiming that this good pro poker was a fat man who’d managed to successfully seduce a good looking woman off tinder. I really hated Jesse for what he done and it seemed out of character considering he was one of the people who really inspired me to get into game to begin with.  Now he was preaching dating apps and selling courses on how to get fat people laid on tinder. When anyone with relative online dating or day gaming experience would know that a high value woman just simply won’t date a fat guy off an app when they have literally 1000s of better options available  . Why market an app like that if you weren’t just a scumbag looking to take advantage of men’s desperate position in the sexual market place. Then again maybe Jesse was just a scumbag after all who men like myself gave the benefit of the doubt due to what he’d accomplished in PUA . Maybe I was wrong to idolise all these dating coaches who seemed to have aspirations for profit and marketing first and foremost and honesty second. After all isn’t just most marketing just legalised lying? 

The fall out of Simple Pickup hurt me a fair bit – the forums they had were one of my first experiences of Daygame so for that to have ended was a massive shame their content really was the main inspiration for me to do my first approaches and to ultimately lose my virginity. Maybe they weren’t as amazing as I thought but rather opportunists who took advantage of the YouTube’s rampant growth at the right time and place. Would what they do be replicable nowadays? I highly doubt it given the nature of YouTube today they’d have probably been banned way earlier if they were around today.  Kong repeated this course selling formula and made even more revenue with his new YouTube course being sold called Jump Cut and followed many of the other “self help” entrepreneurs of our time with more and more course selling . Subsequently Kong seemed to just out and out steal Jesse’s girlfriend which is a shame to find out about but it is what it is. I guess is there a lesson to be learnt from here is not to idolise PUAs or leaders in their industry because like you or I they are most likely very flawed individuals.  Of course you analyse any “ pua” under the microscope you’re likely to find a weakness or a flaw in something they all  do maybe I’m being over judgemental and jealous here who knows?  

Did Online Dating Kill the PUA Community? 

The thing about online dating is no matter if you did or didn’t benefit it really only benefits the top 10 percent of men and fucks over the rest . As someone not in the top 10 percent of men it really didn’t enhance my life in London at all although I did have success using it in Myanmar and Brazil but this was most likely due to the extreme lack of competition in these countries in comparison to my home city of London.  

Even the men that get a load of lays from online may be left unfulfilled as their options are still at the mercy of an algorithm rather than free choice. But where did it leave the PUA community? It meant even the most average/ ugliest of women now had men fully disposable on tap. It  meant that the average man had to do more to garner dates than the average woman. It created an ever lasting inequality in the sexual market place who’s ramifications we are yet to see. 

But what about the men’s dating and self-development community? Due to  a lot of high quality men effectively getting all the sex they needed from apps they no longer had the desperation or need for Daygame. This stopped the high quality men from resorting to daygame and left the low quality including myself left to turn to daygame. Imagine all the potential friendships formed between wingmen that were distinguished because a percentage of high quality men felt sexually satisfied due to the apps. It’s a shame and left the Daygame community with lower quality men than the previous decade of dating and left the ones in the community with a larger workload as they had to now approach women the bulk of whom are now sexually satisfied thanks to apps like Bumble, Tinder and Hinge. With every technological advancement there are winners and losers. Even the men who’ve won thanks to online probably will lose in the potential wingmanship/friendship and the skills they’d learnt if they’d daygame . Alas daygame searches on google seemed to have topped out in 2012 roughly 2-3 years after online dating apps were becoming mainstream. I have reason to believe online dating did contribute daygame’s decline. The lust for knowledge, to learn , to garner some form of community is sadly gone from this generation and further leaves men in isolation . 

Death of Forums and Communities: 

As mentioned before most my favourite website like the UK Pua forums seem  to have less posters on there . I’ve tried to continue to be a contributor to inspire a next generation of people to hit the streets. I’ll Never be a YouTuber or a  coach but this blog is the way I best seek to help people still in the community without having to “expose myself” or to risk getting my career and life fucked up by the MSM. 

Reddit Seduction , Actualised , SoSauve Forums and Kill your inner loser  remains but I still think we are operating on lower levels of popularity than before.  The London sarge groups are pretty much dead and a shadow of what they were in the early 2010s . Replaced by not much else.. maybe game global dead telegram groups and the odd Facebook community both of which really serve as a funnel for marketers to sell their products to the remainder of people on there. 

Overstimulation of Men Due to Addictions 

At university the biggest contributing factor to the delay of the loss of my viriginity was my porn addiction. That and my social media really stopped me from taking advantage of the rare occasions that women were Into me . They just decimated my brain and  testosterone levels and im pretty certain the next generation of pickup artists are pretty fucked with even more stimulation and  addictive social media than I had to deal with. This serves to fucking decimate mens SMV and induce laziness and complacency.  Men have to deal with more addictions than women on average, with drug, alcohol, gaming, gambling, all being more prevalent in men than women by comparison.  

Lowered Testosterone of Men 

Men’s declining testosterone levels are undeniable at this point in time: 

https://www.medichecks.com/blogs/testosterone/why-do-gen-z-and-millennial-men-have-lower-testosterone  on average men’s testosterone declines one percent a year this surely will take its toll on men over time and most likely will decrease the lust for sex and to attract women. Most likely resulting in more laziness and less work ethic which isn’t good for the PUA and self development community. 

Rising Men’s suicide – Diminished Incomes ruining men’s confidence 

Men’s suicide is rising considerably faster in comparison to women’s I see this most likely just going up as men’s incomes are also diminishing in the west and globally in general as more of men’s jobs in comparison to women’s are being taken away by ai and automation . Also post divorce men’s high suicide rate harms their chances in going back in the dating market along with other factors that destroy men’s smv like the loss of money post divorce, having children which puts off potential future partners should the original partner they had children with leave them, diminishing testosterone , inflation cutting men’s purchasing power and diminished career opportunities. 

Undercover Documentaries Destroying people’s incentives to do PUA or daygame. 

That BBC documentary , the Anti Game Global publication on the Daily Mail all these articles are doing deincentivize further day gamers and  create anxiety and apprehension among the community. Any daygame coach is just  one article away from a false rape accusation. Some day gamers don’t recover from the mental burden of such accusations such as Tom Torero who committed suicide shortly after the Danya Haajjaji article was posted about him which subsequently resulted in visa and PayPal cutting his payments destroying his most important mode of income. Some debate that Torero should have just pivoted and accepted Bitcoin payments but Im not sure if he was ever a big crypto guy- it seemed losing his income, his YouTube channel and the loss of clients due to covid took its toll on him. Maybe other men wanting to be dating coaches will see his decline and subqeuntly be put off from taking the same career path . With the risks increasing and the financial gain decrease I believe dating coaching will slowly be declining  or moving more “Underground” with a select few surviving the culling and media attention. I mean what good ones are there left? Alex Leon, James Marshall , Nick Krausser maybe… who else? 

Were  dating coaches all just opportunists ? 

Analysing some dating coaches in the past maybe they’ve been fully called out on their dishonesty or maybe their marketing made up for their flaws that are now more apparent now? Let’s take into account Yad for example here’s a fat coach who was marketed as some big mainstream playboy. The reality is the majority of women really don’t want to date a fat person and he may have inspired low smv individuals to be deluded enough to think they could garner hot women. The reality was with my friends of friends who roomed with Yad he rarely dated above a 6 . The reality is daygame will only ever really help you get 1-2 points above your SMV – not much more than that. You can’t hide or polish a turd really reality will hit home and the dating coaches that pitched you said ideas will just diminish.  Heck I digress maybe the decline of dating coaches can be seen as an example as to how unsustainable  a lot of their methods were. Is Yad relevant in today’s era of quick paced instagram / tinder and hinge. Are women who are being dmed by men across the world , flown out and seduced left right and centre ready for a fatass pua to approach them? 

Anyway these were my thoughts . Maybe im just being a negative little bitch? Who knows but I’ve defiantly seen a big downturn in pua in the last few years alone. Whether we will grow in popularity again I severely doubt due to the sigma with dating in the modern day world. This could be seen as me spreading negativity but I like to analyse things with a senes of realism rather than being deluded or overly optimistic. 

Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc.  For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France, San Fransisco or Dubai if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com 

Decided to write this blog post to help people especially newbies to the world of dating and pickup so they don’t get too overwhelmed by the marketing gimmicks used by dating coaches out there. When I started by daygame journey I went from coach to coach to coach from dating guru to dating guru without even being cognisant of what advice I was getting and the real intentions and the situations of those who were selling me said advice. I decided to write this critical factor blog piece to make people starting out more aware of the cons dating coaches have and factors you need to consider when following someone’s guides or philosophies .

Key Points to Realise :

1. Context is everything when looking up to dating coaches, dating guides etc.  .

Be cognisant of the advantages your dating coaches have: Understand that lay reports are subjective as they heavily rely on said coaches sexual market value, where they are located in the world and what their value is relative to the women around them. For example a UK dating coach based in Eastern Europe or South America will most likely have a lot of advantages simply due to his nationality of being a foreigner. 

Other examples of this its important to consider what value your coach has and how they’re utilising said value. 

Let’s take James Tusk for example – He’s a PUA coach based in London now on the surface he has a lot of things going for him. He’s handsome, dresses well , has a good physique and owns a flat in London. Now these things are pretty invaluable for someone based London he has a lot of value off the bat therefore he will need to do a lot less approaches in order to make an impact. 

https://project-tusk.com/blogs/coaching-testimonials/infield-daygame-coaching-session-andre-beginner-daygame

There was then a clip released in 2017 of James coaching a student called Andre who appears to be somewhat autistic, poor dressed , short and a bit Chubby . In this case the coach seems to be far ahead of what the student is . Now Im not saying there is anything wrong with James Tusk but I want you to understand that daygame coaches can only too much . If there’s a huge gap in sexual market value between the student and the coach then coaching is almost on the verge of pointless . 

Similarly there were clips TNL released on their workshops of overweight poorly dressed me going into interactions looking like literal lambs for the slaughter- these clips have since been hidden from YouTube but again an example of how coaches even the great James Marshall can send a student into a set poorly dressed 

Again this was done by another dating coach Sasha Daygame: Where he sends 4 people into some pretty weak sets poorly dressed one with a generic Nike shirt . Now as a dating coach the minimum you can do when students are paying you top dollar an hour is just dress them properly except for a hippie coach like Sasha “positive energy” is deemed the only important thing seemingly. Proper presentation of themselves is not. It may look like im nitpicking but there are dating coaches out there that just don’t sort out the fundetmantals with their clients are should be criticised for doing so after all they are charging a huge amount for a high ticket service this service better be good. 

Some Coaches will never have your disadvantages or they might not have been successful when they had them. 

Understand that alot of daygame coaches can’t polish a turd, they themselves have have built their successes through either having some advantages which you may or may not know about or have used geographical arbitrage to temporarily raise their SMV. 

Lets use some examples of Prominent Daygame Coaches and what they’ve done themselves: 

• James Marshall – Owns a $2mill Farm in Portugal and a $600k flat in Budapest hardly a broke guy, also is tall handsome and has an Australian passport.  Traveled to god knows how many countries. 
• Alex Leon- Handsome, Well built , Austrian passport, decent career, brother works for fly emirates so he gets free business class tickets so it looks like he’s ballin when he most probably an’t . 
• Tom Torero – Despite an ugly face had still traveled to 40 plus countries and had an Oxford degree all in all pretty decent accomplishments and would’ve made approaching women a lot easier. 
• James Tusk- Handsome, well built man, spent his time living between Hong Kong and London, owns a flat in London , had a good finance career  and has travelled a tonne. 
• RSD Todd- Was a Pro Poker player before hand , seemed to have an elite level of intelligence as a result. 
• John Antony (not a fan of his at all personally but )  – Still very tall, spends a fair amount of money on facial surgery, takes TRT , well built dude. 
• Nick Krassuer- Well Built dude, Ex boxer, has travelled the world , speaks several languages including a bit of Russian I believe. 
• Liam Mcrae- Good Looking dude, well built, plays electric guitar at a high level, Australian Passport 
• Simple Pickup Crew- Jason, Jesse and Kong all three of these individuals had stake in a million dollar business all had passports of the first world (US) . 

Im not even a fan of every coach on this list , Im not endorsing any of their products I just want to show the importance of understanding that each coach no matter how bad or good has at least a fair amount of value . You gotta understand and think about where you are in comparison to these coaches and be honest with yourself. If you’re well below these people then the chances are you will need to approach a fair amount more women to get the same results as said coaches. If you’re a man in the third world and you are watching and analysing coaches from the first world you need to be honest with yourself knowing that you have to approach more. 

If you’re significantly poorer than these coaches or have no interesting hobbies or haven’t traveled and have nothing to talk about you’re going to have to approach more to hook women in comparison to the coaches. 

If you’re overweight , boring with no hobbies you’re going to have to work a lot harder than the jacked coaches you see. All these coaches are at least well dressed , have travelled a lot and have a passport from the first world at a minimum. They all have  at least some value to a degree. They aren’t fat , boring and slumming it out in the third world. 

If you’re autistic or on the spectrum and have difficulty building bonds with women you’re going to struggle a lot more most likely then the coaches listed and will most likely have to approach a lot more than them to even get remotely the same results. 

I know Im coming across a bit negative and aprehensive here. But its not my job to sell you a dream I just want you to be realistic . 

2. Daygame Marketing / Coaches / Tinder Coaches may hide the sheer amount of rejections you’ll face. 

This is fundamentally a big issue I see. Daygame is rejection at every turn. There are a huge quantity of flakes you will face, bad dates, LMR, blow outs and that’s the bulk of it. The actual success makes a fragment of this . Anyone promising you quick lays or success is simply lying to you .  This is the bulk of what it is. Your dating coaches will only be able to get you good results if you already have some decent quantity of SMV. 

Most coaches hide the pain, the rejection, the flakes from their clients in the marketing because it’s not something that’s going to trigger sales. No one likes learning about the struggles they only want the lays and the successes that come with that. This is the bulk of what daygame is , it’s struggle you will need a huge amount of mental resilience to get better. 

The fact is a lot of dating coaches spend a lot of their time riffing one another. For any dating coach to even release videos of rejection isn’t very appealing because it gives the internet and other dating coaches the opportunity to riff on said dating coach.  So all in all the industry has more of perfectionist attitude which is just simply unrealistic and you have to be cognisant of this when watching any infield. 

3. Fantastic high quality wingmen will always trump a good dating coach. 

Honestly for me the biggest difference was meeting  high quality wings. This wasn’t an easy feat by any means. I went through around 20-30 poor quality wingmen but its the failure and the awkwardness that you have to endure In order to be successful at dating. You will meet a lot of wingmen you don’t like or don’t vibe with that’s just the way it is. You will also meet a lot of women you won’t have chemistry with that’s part and parcel of life its just the way the world is .

Wings are the most cost effective way of optimising your game and I explain why in my Wingman guide here: 

4.  A lot of Coaches are glorified passport bros or were passport bros at one point in time. 

Let me give examples and some examples that I will give are some of my favourite coaches for myself personally. 

Liam Mcrae– Got his girlfriend in Eastern Europe. 

James Marshall- Married his wife while doing online game in Ukraine in  the late 2000s 

Tom Torero– Bulk of his lays in Eastern Europe.  

James Tusk- Spends most his time in Latin/Central America

TNL– The Natural Lifestyles – coached mostly in Eastern Europe – albeit they have coached in Barcelona too which is quite a tough environment. 

John Anthony – Spends the bulk of his time in Brazil . 

Nick Krausser– Spent the bulk of his time gaming in Eastern Europe first wife Japanese . 

RSDMax– Seemingly paid of Ukrainian models to feature in his ads . 

Now once again I don’t like all these coaches and I don’t think they are all conmen but the majority of them spent a good quantity of time in “Easy mode” countries  . You need to be aware    of this when analysing your successes because you doing the same thing as they did in their lay reports may not be adequate  enough in this day and age. 

Let’s take James Marshall a prominent dating coach- in his book “The Natural History” he wrote about lay reports that happened in the late 2000s which he used Myspace to pick up girls in Ukraine. Now of course Ukraine is in no condition anymore to do daygame in but this was clearly an example of James Marshall using his status as an Australian to garner up an extra dose of SMV to pick up women . Again I see nothing wrong with this but its not replicable at all now . The online market is absolutely saturated now and most hot girls in Eastern Europe probably have offers to be flown out around the world. Remember context is everything when analysing dating coaches like Marshall. He even married a Ukrainian woman in Ukraine and seemingly got used for his status as an Australian as it appears from the book that she cheated on him in Australia. 

Then there’s Tom Torero remember a lot of his dating successes came in Ukraine too which is no longer a viable prospect at all for dating. But after Tom released these lay reports and successes the city became essentially flooded with daygamers in leather jackets. Another example that certain coaches have big advantages either using the strength of their nationality or other SMV components which could be seen as a pivotal reason behind their lays or purely just good timing- going and doing well in a certain area before it becomes flooded with daygamers. 

5. Some Coaches have train wreck histories and should be noted as such 

Look at Richard Cooper – the guy dated  two single mothers in a row then became a world famous dating coach as a result of it. His work was extremely hollow seemingly being a regurgitation of self help quotes and men’s rights activism with little proactive advice on the basics like approaching and meeting new people . It’s pretty sad that this guy garners more popularity than people who actually did daygame approaches like Krausser and Torero . 

Make sure you do your due diligence on every dating coach, have they actually done daygame approaches? Or are they just a big marketing fluff. You need to learn to analyse and judge people accordingly to stop yourself from being taken advantage of. 

I mentioned this in my other blog post about the “Death of PUA ” but Simple Pickup who were my original idols well their co founders Jesse and Kong turned out to be dicks. Of course that’s not to take away from their accomplishments I was just heartbroken that someone like Jesse would sell such a scammy marketing bs like Endless Options the app that promised fat guys to hook with hot women. The majority of women don’t want a fat person! You got to be an idiot to fall for that shit and many did. It certainly tarnished his reputation and he seemed more ok with scamming people than actually being honest to people . 

6. Techniques and “text game” won’t polish a turd 

This is the problem with “Texting guides” Or the “Message Game”  I even see posts on Reddit promoting ‘“ai texting” none of these guides are going to be a substitute for a good strong interaction and daygame approach. Any guide or text method is likely to be replicated by 1000s of other men and eventually the girl will feel like they are part of a system and won’t want to be part of it.  “Let’s cut the bullshit fuck the guides and get out there and do some cold approaches” would be my ideal opening text to you yourself. Of course this is easier said than done for most men. The reason “text guides” and online dating guides are so popular is they don’t focus on the real issues that men at large face when dating – being approaching well, finding good adequate wingmen and being consistent and hardworking both on themselves and dating. These things will benefit you much more than any texting masterclass ever will. 

7. Never idolise any dating or self help coach for that matter. 

When I started game in the late 2017 Early 2018s I had a lot of sticking points to my game. I was in a pretty competitive environment growing up in London in a school with comparatively rich and high quality men. I made a habit of idolising  certain dating coaches  without not really knowing much about them. I idolised James Marshall a lot to the point where my game was modelled exactly like his. I idolised Tom Torrero and Rollo Tomassi too whilst their advice was good in theory in did lead to me taking everything they say as  an exact science which I felt harmed my LTRs with women. I began to play the field for too long and didn’t really make the women I like my girlfriend as I saw it as needy and tried too hard to “hold the frame” and “play hard to get”  in the end it just pretty much destroyed the relationships I valued and I was alone again. All in all my overvaluing of dating coaches was actually costing me in relationships rather than helping me. I simply did everything Tom Torero , James Marshall and Rollo Tommasi did because I had no real idea for myself what I wanted from my own relationships. Had I  stayed off the PUA podcasts and made my own ideas it could’ve been better for me to build my own identity instead of just being a regurgitation of another dating coaches’ ideologies. 

8. Dating is a hard mindfuck and no book/guide will protect you from the mental strain 

Both the successes and failures of daygame will take its mental toll on you . The complacency of success and the mindfuck of rejections will both be harmful for you and no coach is going to protect you from that. You need to make sure of this when reading lay reports and all the ups that the majority of daygame and dating is full of lows and mindfucks and that everyone will go through them no matter how elegantly your dating coach markets themselves. Every woman wants something different form a man and theres no man that’s going to be attractive to everyone that he approaches – theres nothing out there that is going to fight or protect you from inevitable  rejection regardless of what you do. 

9. The End-Goal of Most coaches is to sell you some high ticket product or overprice course/ guide which will contain information that you can find for free on the internet . 

Remember that most PUAs or this generation of self-help entrepreneur aren’t exactly that innovative they are all pretty much cut from the same cloth engineered to sell you a course that you don’t really need as 99 percent of the decent PUA info out there is there for free and any great course out there you’ll really gain greater benefit if you just have better quality wingmen around you as opposed to having the best courses. Great wingmen pay for themselves in lays , pushing your boundaries and making you self aware of your sticking points this is an idea that I constantly repeat because it was so vital to me . Think  of good wingmen as long term coaches-except for free.  Most dating courses are merely regurgitations of other much older Pua self help books confined in a video series. Whether it be Simple Pickup’s project go or whatever course TNL are selling usually all the information can be found for free if you look hard enough. You should be cognisant of dating coaches’ bullshit and not rely on them for all their answers and seek solutions from your own experiences  in dating. I remember when I started out I was obsessed with Rollo Tomassi, James Marshall and TNL as I said before  as opposed to forging my own identity with dating . In the end my early daygame relationships fucked up because I was too “addicted” to the viewpoints of these people. I just bought every product they had and became of a victim of their marketing skills instead of really developing my own understandings of relationship dynamics.  Just be cognisant when you yourself are buying products are you dealing with the root cause of your problems or are you actively just procrastinating by idolising other puas and buying crap. No course/book or product will save you from you. 

10. The Bulk dating coaches barely last the long term and are greedy at will rip you off

It’s a brutal industry and dating coaches themselves alot of whom can be seen as opportunists who make their big money and then leave. If you look at the most prominent example of this being RSD, Simple Pickup who’s member Jesse was selling absolute trash towards the end of his career . The point is you can’t worship these people as guys who are here forever and ever to mentor you most will  either retire, commit suicide, die , be found out as scammers or leave for more stable careers. Again this links back to the importance of forming your own identity , tribes and communities when it comes to dating.  In some instances like Jesse from Simple Pickup I conclude that they were just opportunists  who would rather peddle fake promises than the truth remember just because someone holds similar ideological values to yourself doesn’t make them a good person they can still be a scammy cunt and id admit that dating coaches that I idolised in the past did turn out to be scammy cunts the most prominent one being Tom Torero.

  In  another case in point of The Natural Lifestyles they would rather sell high ticket with the coaches mysterious aura and charisma being the bulk part that made the course expensive to begin with. Certainly I see that with coaches like James Marshall who’s £10k a week bootcamps comprising mainly  of approaching and mediation now believe me that £10k is better off spent on improving your fashion and spending active time networking with other wings . This sort of pursing for the “high ticket sale” is what the majority of this self help generation of entrepreneur is focused on and in the purchasing of dating products people are highly likely to be emotional and impulsive and pay out rather than figure things for themselves . Im not saying this is a good or a bad thing only for people who pay these high sums the money is most likely better spent elsewhere improving said students smv by learning a language or going to the gym instead of paying a charismatic person to point them at sets over and over again. 

So concludes this post, its kinda all over the place and pretty disorganised but I just want to give daygame or dating newbies in particular an overall picture before they commit to any daygame coach or being to overate any dating coaches philosophy . Just be cognisant of the people that market to you and who paint a picture to you and don’t believe everything everyone tells you- take time to form your own opinions in life. 

Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai, San Fransisco  or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value. 

This blog isn’t really ground breaking or particularly innovative advice but its more suited to men who are wanting to make things continually exciting with the women they are dating and moving towards an LTR. This could be helpful for men who want to create LTRs as opposed to hook ups. The ideas are pretty simplistic but should help some of you who:

Keeping the relationship exciting in the longterm 

Now for most in daygame enjoy the player lifestyle of getting laid with a girl within 2-3 dates and then calling it a day but for some people there might be a desire to take things a bit deeper than that they may want to develop from casual sex to a long term relationship and that’s fine . 

The issue with me when I was day gaming in London was I had no idea on how to make things exciting beyond two to three dates. Usually the women would loose interest or I would run out of ways to make the relationship interesting.  This was pretty much 95 percent my fault every time as Id run out of ideas pretty quickly as I was really one dimensional about the fun things to do in the country I was living in. Sex alone sometimes isn’t enough for a lot relationships to be maintained it’s your job as a man to keep the chemistry alive with those you’re dating.

Ways to keep things interesting when developing into a LTR 

• Activity Dates in London / the city you’re in
• Keep switching up the dating locations referring to my dating location posts in London 
• Trips around the UK in various locations 
• Trips to other countries in Europe
• Working on yourself through the successful relationships and remain disciplined  

Activity Dates in London 

Now these are quite a bit of a financial commitment so make sure you at least have at least hooked up with woman first 

• Cooking Classes – https://theavenuecookeryschool.com/ great for those in the Putney area 
• –  Pinot and Picasso – Shoreditch  located at : 32 Shoreditch High St, London E1 6PG – definitely a good painting activity date – good for introverted women. 
• Mini Golf – Swingers Golf or Puttshack both are decent in London 

Of course other cities in the UK have activity dates you can search for this list isn’t exclusive to London : https://classbento.co.uk/cooking-classes-london

Trips around the UK : 

UK has a fuck tonne of history , if you think  things are boring out in the city that you’re in you can easily move to other cities with the girl you’re with to create more excitement. Recommended cities for traveling: 

• Cotswold: Quintessential England very romantic spot for traditional UK. Nearby cities like Cheltenham are good for a few days dating too 
• Kent: Similar to Cotswold. 
• Brighton: Beach Seaside town great place to take a woman on a weekend date bear in mind its significantly more expensive on the weekends then the weekdays.  
• Cardiff/Abergavenny : Beautiful countryside town- really good unique and interesting place to take women off the beaten trail. Cardiff has pretty cheap hotels and Abergavenny is fantastic for romantic walks in the Summertime. 
• Cambridge: Near London and again a very famous city – ideal for a weekend break. 
• Edinburgh- A city bursting with history -great place to take women for 3-4 days romantic trip .
• The Lake District : Probably on of the most beautiful countryside parts of the UK – perfect for romantic walks and hikes.
• Newcastle : Probably the best animal cafes in the UK and interesting forest walks and castles. 
• Liverpool: Women who are rock / Beetles fans will obviously enjoy this very much so due to the Beetles museum 
• Bristol- Clifton suspension bridge is a great place for romantic drinks and dates. The city itself comes with a lot of dating options too .  Great history museums and art scene as well. 
• Cornwall- Another iconic beachfront city to travel around

Again you don’t need to take her to all these locations but they just provide some food for thought for things to do to keep the romance exciting in the relationship. 

Trips around Europe 

Living in the UK you can pretty much have access to cheap flights all over Europe. Options like Eastern Europe can provide cheap adventurous dates that can keep the romance going. Again its usually best to this with girls you’ve already slept with and already have a commitment from or it could get awkward if you make a move and she rejects you and you have to go back to the hotel room with her. 

Working On Yourself 

The problem with me was once I was in  a relationship with an attractive girl I’d then turn into a lazy ass bum and it would kill the attraction and the excitement of the relationship. You should keep pushing yourself to be better always -single or in a relationship. This advice is of course a lot easier said that done and I’ve been the laziest bum of them all in the past . Just make sure you never slack. Im in a relationship at the moment and I’ve still made the commitment to continue working and studying four different languages and making sure my lust for life continues. This is of course a lot easier said than done as I said before but you gotta keep at it for yourself more than anyone. 

Conclusion: Again this is a pretty bum ass blog post compared to my others but it’s just here to help people maintain their relationships and not fall into dating slumps by just making every relationship a predictable alcoholic drink followed by drunk hookup date.

Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai, San Fransisco  or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value. 

Best Areas for Logistics when Dating in London : 

Honestly my preference will be around North London rather than where I am based in south. Reason being is there’s alot of girl heavy art universities based in the North like King’s Cross and an all together younger demographic based in Shoreditch. The foot flow in these areas are continuous and you’re only a few stops away from Oxford street and 6-7 away from my favourite daygame spot of Knightsbridge. Renting in central London if you have the budget will obviously save you a lot of time but is very expensive. Ideally somewhere near King’s Cross is the bear minimum that will give you access to a big pool of women. Shoreditch has a lot of good new innovative hotels that aren’t ridiculously expensive (of course everything based in London is going to be pricey to some degree)  But for those visiting London who want to be near the action whilst not spending ridiculous  amounts in  Shoreditch is optimal. If you have an unlimited budget you can simply read the Areas To Daygame around London guide and just make your logistics closed to the areas you desire: https://mindful-masculinity.org/2020/10/17/areas-to-game-around-london-a-full-analysis/

Some things to note about this guide: 

• A lot of locations I haven’t listed because they’ve been listed in other areas of London dating guides found here:areas to date around London part 2 and https://mindful-masculinity.org/2022/11/07/areas-to-date-around-london-a-full-guide/
• Some areas I haven’t listed simply because I haven’t dated or gamed enough in a location in order to garner enough time so I apologise if your area has been left out but really with London’s good transport system there should be something for everyone in this guide. 
• Some areas that I’ve already written about like Knightsbridge I’ve added a couple of locations in order to give you a bit more balance and variation in a particular area.  Again I can’t list every single coffee shop. Most of these routines are really simple just one coffee shop followed by one nearby bar .

Kings Cross Station –

Simple Low investment dates : 

If the Weather is good: 

Start the meet up at Kings Cross Station take her to Gramos a decent coffee shop located right in King’s Cross Station. Then you can go walk to the Google offices and sit down on the grass there or after the coffee you can take her to Waitrose  next to UAL and buy some food and have a picnic on the grass. 

If the Weather is bad: 

Start at Redemption Roasters Located in King’s Cross at Unit 109 Stable St, London N1C 4DR then you can take her for a second bounce/Alcoholic drink  at Barffina simple one coffee then drinks date. The area around Redemption Roasters is packed full of bars and food trucks so you really have endless options. 

Or you can take her to a restaurant called Caravan located at 1 Granary Square, London N1C 4AA with plenty of seating and located right next to UAL university (a woman heavy university)  which makes it a great spot for instant dates. Afterwords you can have follow up drinks at the nearby Barffina or Dishoom. 

Shoreditch 

Coffee Shop List: 

One Hundred Shoreditch 

Located at : 

100 Shoreditch High St, London E1 6JQ This is probably my favourite night bar in shoreditch and is also has numerous bars at different floors but I prefer the different levels. . So all in all a great spot for a date offering unique cocktails . 

Dark Sugars- Brick Lane 

Another decent hot chocolate  shop the perfect way to begin a date with someone especially if they’re a tourist experiencing London for the first time. Brick Lane is an excellent place to take an artistsy or woman who works in the creative arts. A quick two step date routine will be to start the date here then while you’re consuming your hot chocolates then take her to 100 Shoreditch bar. 

Hoko Hong Kong Cafe : A good place to take A Hong Konger or anyone into Cantonese culture on a date this place does decent Hong Kong Milk teas, coffee and food .

Platform – located at 224 Brick Ln, London E1 6SA a prime first date spot 

 Gecko Coffeehouse: Located  49 Bethnal Grn Rd, London E1 6LA a good place for a first coffee  date before a bounce to a cocktail bar  -The Cocktail Trading Co located at : 

68 Bethnal Grn Rd, London E1 6GQ

Ozone Coffee Shop: Located at :11 Leonard St, London EC2A 4AQ- Again like the others a decent coffee shop for a first date and not much else to say. 

One of the top rated cocktail bars in the area and a highly recommend second Date location 

Shoreditch -Experience Platform:

Shoreditch

This is a great Second/ Third location gaming bar similar to what I posted in the Canary Wharf section. 

Junkyard Golf Club | Crazy Golf Shoreditch: Located at 88 Worship St, London EC2A 2BE again a second stop which makes after a good first bounce from a coffee shop. Again activity dates are good for those who want to try and get a girls personality out if they appear to be too introverted during the initial coffee an activity like Mini Golf might be able to bring out their personality a bit more.

Canary Wharf: 

Canary Wharf has come a long way since I began my daygame journey in 2017 it’s way more developed with a lot of options for food and drink.  For me personally Canary Wharf is a great area to meet women during the week as a lot of women tend to work there so its a decent place to arrange an evening date with lots of different locations to suit most people.  

Date Plans in Canary Wharf: 

You have a huge number of choices of coffee locations to start your date in the Jubilee mall next to Canary Wharf theres a “ Pure” coffee shop located at Unit 390 Cabot Square, London E14 5AX  again this has ideal coffee seats. 

Theres also a Notes coffee shop which has good seating too at 

Notes Coffee Roasters | Canada Walk-  this is a great place to start for a coffee  and is just a 6 minute walk away from cargo market hall which is  a great place for seated dates. This area has a massive drink and food selection plus sofas for a great date setting . Great for a second date bounce – an third date bounce after a few drinks here is the gaming and drinks bar called Platorm located:Unit 40, 1 Crossrail Pl, London E14 5AR roughly an 8 minute walk away and a great place to have some drinks and play some games 

Cargo Market Hall : You can been the date having a coffee at “Grind ” upstairs .

https://experienceplatform.co.uk/canary-wharf/ a pretty unique date spot in London .

 

Other good Coffee/Bars  include: 

640 East- Located in  Montgomery Square, Upper Bank St, London E14 5JJ . A nice coffee shop with great seating but preferable in the summer months as opposed to winter.

The Alchemist : Again this a chain all over the UK one of those brands that I will probably repeat over again. But the alchemist is a great place for a cheap alcoholic drinks and the bar tenders tend to put on a “Show” located right next  to Canary Wharf’s Jubilee exit line and a fantastic place for a drink. 

Liverpool Street- 

Good Two Steep Date Location : 

% ARABICA LONDON SPITALFIELDS MARKET followed by Duck and Waffle- Duck and Waffle Bishopsgate ( 10 Bishopsgate, London EC2N 4AY) fantastic views and a intimate bar setting perfect for the second date location if things are ok – they serve alcoholic drinks, tea as well as great food in compact seating great for building rapport and escalation . 

Duck and Waffle Located :110 Bishopsgate, London EC2N 4AY : Good restaurant/bar with fantastic views. Great for building rapport with foreign students or tourists as the unique views will be very special for them. Would recommend this as a second place to “bounce” after a coffee shop as it could be seen as too much of an overdoing for 

EATLY: 

Located at: 135 Bishopsgate, London EC2M 3YD

I mentioned this before in my previous dating guide as a great area to have a date in the Liverpool Street/ Shoreditch area I want to reiterate this is a fantastic spot to do date a girl as it has 4 separate restaurants and bars in the facility perfect for if you want a cheap/ more glamorous  date this spot has something for everybody.  It also shuts late at 11pm so if you finish work late or your girl finishes late this is still an excellent spot to grab a drink whether it be alcohol or non alcoholic .

Black Sheep Coffee : 

Located right next to EATLY this is another excellent coffee shop with good seating perfect for a summers day. You might want to start out here then head for a pizza slice in EATLY for an easy “two step” date.  Black Sheep Coffee can serve as the cheap coffee date then Eatly is an easy one for drinks. The major advantage with Eatly is it shuts so late as I said before compared to literally every other coffee shop on this list which usually shuts around 6pm. 

Favourite Hotel Bar in Liverpool Street:  Pan Pacific Bar Liverpool Street:  Located at: 80 Houndsditch, London EC3A 7AB this bar is located near Eatly so a perfect second bounce location  after a coffee at Blacksheep or Eatly . This place is open to late and you can sit down till past 11pm. There are loads of sofa seating and the price of drinks and food is reasonable . Definitely my favourite date spot in Liverpool Street and a good “hidden gem” 

Angel- Islington : 

Good first date locations: 

Angel in Islington is a pretty simple date plan. There’s a  Be at one located near the station at 12 Upper St, London N1 0PQ which is adjacent to two coffee  places either the Hotel Chocolate located at :14 Upper St, London N1 0PQ which serves coffee and has seating or blank street coffee located a t4 Upper St, London N1 0PQ. So the ideal first date would be to have a coffee at either of these places then hit up all bar one. 

Alternative first date plan for Angel if the weather is good  is: 

Saint Espresso located at: 26 Pentonville Rd, London N1 9HJ followed by a trip to Sainsbury’s grab some food and drink then have an outdoor picnic in the seating located outside. Then a bounce to All Bar one is advised for a third “location” . Again this date plan is more preferred for the summer time. 

Highbury and Islington : 

A coffee at the Urban Social Coffee located at :  236 Upper St, London N1 1RU  followed by a bounce to The Bottle Cocktail Shop and Bar at : 116 Upper St, London N1 1QP simple two step date but a pretty routine place. The area around The Bottle Cocktail Shop has very attractive bars and food places with a food market on the weekend which can be good for eating outside in the Summer time . 

Bank/Monument : 

Might not be the most attractive place for a date but seeing as a lot of finance bros do read this blog I will include it. To be honest Bank is pretty straight forward : 

Black Sheep Coffee located at: 31 Eastcheap, London EC3M 1DE A good spot for a first date low investment coffee followed by moving to a bar.  Bar Recommendations  the best and most popular for this location seems to be Eastcheap  Records Located at: 31 Eastcheap, London EC3M 1DE  this is a vibrate bar good for a second date bounce. 

Langbourns- Bar and Dining is also a good spot located at  : 77 Gracechurch St, London EC3V 0AG

Victoria: 

Without once again sounding repetitive the best  Coffee Shop  for the Victoria Area has to be Notes at 10 Sir Simon Milton Sq, London SW1E 5DJ

Again I notice im naming the same brand a lot of the time and that might be annoying but the good think about this Notes coffee shop per say is that its right next to around 5 other major bars all In the same place. In other words dating in Victoria is pretty much as straight forward as one can get it  and you don’t need me to point out the “best locations” for you so to speak. 

There are other options in Victoria though- closer to the Sloane Square area there’s also Hagen Espresso Bar Bar located at : Coleshill Flats, 30a Pimlico Rd, London SW1W 8LJ this location can be by walking to Sloane Square station of which there are numerous bars and restaurants in that area of London which I’ve written about in my other guides. 

This area has developed a fair bit since the previous guide I wrote about gaming and dating in London .There are now a fair few more options for coffee shops and bars available .  Again London. Bridge is quite an iconic place 

London Bridge – ¹

Monmouth Coffee Shop –  Located right next to London Bridge at : 2 Park St, London SE1 9AD decent place  to grab a coffee and sit the one major advantage being this place opens late tilll 6pm bear in mind it’s often packed so may not have the best seating that being said you can always walk with the girl while drinking coffee maybe making the way to the river . 

Longboys Borough Yards: This is a doughnut / coffee shop that’s located around 6 minutes away from Monmouth Coffee shop whilst doughnuts isn’t the ideal first date this coffee place is often empty on the weekdays and has a good couch seating located upstairs in the shop which makes it a good place for an intimate “low investment “ first date . There are a lot of restaurants, tapas bars etc. nearby this location which make for easy second or third bounces. 

Le Chocolat Alain Ducasse -Le Comptoir Coal Drops Yard : 

This is another hot chocolate place – not the best in terms of seating but an interesting place to go on a hot day if you’re looking for a starting point to grab drinks before going for a walk. 

North Greenwich: 

Dark Sugars Greenwhich is a great place for a date in north London as I have probably repeat In other guides. Then going for a walk in Greenwich park 

Green Park/Piccadilly:  

Green Park is once again a place that can be very crowded on the weekends  but there are a few spots that are good for cheap or intimate dates my favourite one being . 

Compane Speciality Coffee:  8-10 Princes Arcade, Piccadilly, St. James’s, London SW1Y 6DS tucked away in Green park perfect for an intimate beginning to a date however bear in mind this place shuts at 5pm. Following this a trip to Swans bar in Maison Assouline Located at: 196A Piccadilly, St. James’s, London W1J 9EY. Another decent Coffee Shop in the Green Park area is Volonti 200 Piccadilly, St. James’s, London W1J 0DJ . Obviously both Green Park and Picadilly have loads of options and I can’t possibly list all of them but most the best cafes and bars should be easy to find while you walk. 

Farmer J Piccadilly:  Another decent coffee shop that is open till late : 210 Piccadilly, St. James’s, London W1J 9HL  again this opens till 9pm so its a decent first date cafe with a good quantity of seating .

Fortnum and Mason  – Located at 181 Piccadilly, St. James’s, London W1A 1ER— Ok this is an unconventional suggestions primarily due to the reputation fortnum and mason has as a tea shop but  Fortnum and Mason has a pretty good tea shop located on the third floor that’s actually ideal for a cheeky coffee date bear in mind a lot of cultures like Korean, Chinese, Japanese really have big admiration for Fortnum and Mason so it can be a good area to take these races for a first date. A British woman or someone born and bred in London this might not be the best area for a first  date in Piccadilly. 

Fallow – Again this is more of a restaurant located at : 52 Haymarket, St. James’s, London SW1Y 4RP. However this has a great bar area and is open till around 11pm so a great second bounce located in the heart of Piccadilly. 

Hawksmoor AirStreet-  Located at: 5A Air St, London W1J 0AD this is an ideal cosy place for a drink open till around 10pm . Perfect for a second bounce after a coffee shop in Piccadilly. A third bounce to a hotel like The Dorchester will be a good option its around a 20 minute walk away . 

Mayfair: 

The Dorchester: 

Great hotel bar Located in : 53 Park Ln, London W1K 1QA Again this is a second or third bounce sort of area. I wouldn’t recommend this as a first bounce sorta dating spot as it can be seen as too intense for a first date. Make sure you go to a coffee place or something before hand to analyse how much the girl is into you first.

Covent Garden

Arabica Coffee spot followed by a quick trip the Restaurant/Bar called Barrafina located at: 43 Drury Ln, London WC2B 5AJ is my preferred date routine here . All in all im not a big fan of dates in Covent Garden as the area can be extremely crowded especially on weekends but if you’re dating a tourist this maybe a spot to think about or that they will enjoy. Monmouth Coffee Company located at : 27 Monmouth St, London WC2H 9EU although be aware on weekends this place can get absolutely packed-  after this a trip to Seven Dials Food Market is a good shout as it has huge seating perfect for grabbing a quick bite to eat. 

Temple : 

Harris+.Hoole Fleet Street  located roughly 9 minutes from Temple station is a fantastic spot to meet people. Located at :191-192 Fleet St, London EC4A 2L followed by a bounce to Simmon’s bar located very nearby at : London WC2R 3LL roughly 5 minutes away. 

Finsbury Park: 

Sourdough Sophia: Probably the best place for a first date in this location. Located in: 24 Middle Ln, London N8 8PL great pastries and coffee .   I don’t know enough about this area to suggest a second date location though. 

Knightsbridge: 

Knightsbridge can be a very crowded around the holiday times making it a bit annoying for a date hence why I recommend : HawksMoor Knightsbridge:  located at 3 Yeoman’s Row, London SW3 2AL this area is always open to late around 10pm and is a great second bounce location for a date after this a bounce to a Aisha lounge like 360 Lounge or 17 on Sloane located on 28 pavilion road both are good options. 

Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai, San Fransisco  or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value. 

Cities covered in this Guide: Newcastle, Bristol, Cambridge , Manchester , Leeds , London , Liverpool, Birmingham and Cardiff 

Eight critical factors for which city you’re picking for Daygame in the UK : 

Population: 

Ideally your city will have a population of 1 million plus – of course this is ambitious for a lot of people as some won’t be able to afford to live in a high populated city as they tend to be more expensive. 

Expense: Some cities on this list like London are extremely expensive others like Liverpool are significantly cheaper. The cheaper the city the cheaper it is to get good quality logistics with good foot flow. Bristol and Liverpool its possible to get Travelodge hotels in the city centre for £30-40 a night for example but for London this could cost anywhere from £100-400 a night  although London itself can have cheap Travelodges albeit in less favourable places. 

Amount of Universities : I think this is crucial, universities are a big contributing factor to how the women in your city will develop and change year on year. If you pick to live somewhere with not many universities you’re not going to get a big change in the population of women which can be very negative daygame wise. As you’ll simply be approaching the same women year on year and maybe even garnering a reputation as someone who does daygame which is obviously not good. If you pick a city like Manchester which has three universities in a small area (Man Met, Uni of Manchester and Salford) then you’re going to get a flurry of new students every year and not just bachelors of course, PHD, Masters , University exchanges etc. Which means if you get rejected a bunch one year who gives a fuck as next year there will be a completely different array of students. 

Tourist popularity : Some cities in the UK have very unique spots that will keep tourists coming all the time therefore will broaden the opportunity for you to approach more people. For example people all year round visit Liverpool for the Beatles museum. Other cities for example Birmingham and Leeds have less incentives to be visited by tourists as they have less iconic tourist sites  so to speak. 

How long are you committing to the city:  Longer you live somewhere the more serious you need to factor in blow outs and rejections .For example a city of the population 130k like Cambridge if you live there 2-3 years you’re probably going to a reputation as a “daygamer “ there due to the sheer lack of population. If you consistently approach there for a while theres a high chance you will run into the same women and because there aren’t that many daygame spots in said city you may garner a reputation which can harm your chances of converting  leads. 

The Value of men around you in that city: Dating is competition and you need to understand your competition which is around you  . Capital cities generally have the highest value men therefore if you’re a low value person a competitive city like London or New York may not be for you if you are overwhelmed by the completion and other men around you. 

What’s your type and does that city have a lot of them:  Live in the city which has the most of what you want. Love Arab girls then live in Knightsbridge-London , love French women then live in South Kensington-London as they have the highest population of French people in that area. Again you catch my drift go where what it is you want. 

Other major cities that are near your city: This can provide you a plan b on the weekends for example. If you’re say studying a Newcastle University you may want to make a daygame trip to Leeds or Edinburgh at the weekend in order to cover fresh ground and different women . 

Further Note: Some of the cities in this guide I’ve included some date locations/ logistics others due to the fact that I gamed in them a very long time ago I’d either have forgotten the good date locations or those that I’d visited before hand are no longer there. I’ll be adding to this list as I revisit the cities on this list .  In regards to good accommodation I’ve written the ones I’ve used when I was there on a budget but sometimes I’ve left it blank because I’ve most likely forgotten what I used or what I used wasn’t particularly memorable or good.  I obviously haven’t lived in any of these cities long enough to provide comprehensive analysis as I have London so therefore can’t provide as much detail. I apologise if some of the cities analysis is weak as its the best I could write about at the time. 

Transport: Obviously the Trains are the quickest and most comfortable way to get from A-B in the UK. But for day gamers on a budget they can be expensive. I recommend using Flixbus if you’re on a budget or a megabus/stagecoach if you want to get to A to B cheap and effectively albeit this way is more uncomfortable and takes longer. Of course on the weekend Fridays/Saturdays accommodation is likely to be the most expensive. Early on the week and Sundays will be the cheapest for hotel accommodation in the cities listed . For an example Friday and Saturdays will be much more expensive for example the Ibis Cardiff city centre is around £30-50 on a Sunday but £120 on a Saturday so the day you visit can make a big different. For rent London is by far the most expensive city on the list with the other cities at a similar monthly rent price.

Newcastle: 

Population: 825,000

Advantages : 

• Newcastle University allows for a decent student inflow 
• Competition of men relatively is low in comparison to London . 
• Relatively near to other major UK cities like Leeds or Edinburgh 
• Cheap for hotels with a 3 star averaging at £50 , generally good logistics in Newcastle are way cheaper than London ( by the way when I use “cheap” in this guide I mean relatively in comparison to  London. 

Disadvantages: 

• Still small with the limited day-game spots and places of high quality foot flow 
• Tourist inflow is low . 

Good Date Locations: 

-The Alchemist -Newcastle – 5- Grey’s Quarter, Eldon Square. 

Good Accommodation: 

• Ramada Encore is a 15 minute walk from the main city centre – the bulk of good foot flow is. It’s also reasonably priced at the time of booking in 2022  it was £50 a night on the weekend not bad at all. 

Cambridge: 

Population:  145,000 

• Advantages:  Prestigious area with good tourist inflows on the weekends. 
• University campus offers a good daygame point for a few weeks of the year 

Disadvantages: 

• Accommodation relatively expensive to other cities on this list  
• Really not enough people in the city easy to get noticed if you’re doing too much approaching as a small amount of students tend to hang in the same places. Not recommending there for long term living . 

Good Date Location: 

• Six- Rooftop bar –  Located on 24 Thompsons Lane. 
• Novi Kitchen and bar Located 12 Regent Street 

Bristol :

Population :  460,000 

Advantages: 

• Lots of great bars in one area by the dock. A unique place to date in the UK. 
• Lots of good coffee shops , food places tucked away, easy to have adventurous  dates here .
• Bristol University and University of West England provide a decent tourist inflow 
• Bristol Suspension Bridge great place for intimate dates . 
• Bristol Uni campus a great place to game with no need for an “entry card” 

Diadvantages: 

• None than I can think of other than the tourist foot flow is not as good as London for example. 

Good Accommodation Ideas: 

• Travelodge Bristol City Centre: 

Now this hotel is a dump but it is cheap and right next to the city centre at £35 a night during a weekday its probably the most cost effective logistics you’re gonna find there. 

Good Date Locations: 

• Clifton Suspension Bridge for a walk and then a drink afterwards at any of the numerous bars adjacent to it my favourite being The White Lion- located on Avon Gorge by Hotel Du Vin. 
• Dareshack – Located in Vintry Building Wine street -Bristol BS1 2BD my favourite coffee shop in Bristol and an excellent spot for a low investment first date. 

Manchester: 

Population: 550,000 

Advantages: 

• You get literally 3 large universities in one spot with University of Manchester ( already a highly populated University)  , Manchester Metropolitan University and university of Salford.  Thats alot of new people coming in this city every year 
• Manchester Arndale and Trafford centre are decent game spots 
• Near other major cities like Liverpool
• Strong tourist attraction due to the two Manchester football clubs.
• Much Cheaper Accommodation wise than London 
• Good young population 

Disadvantages: 

• Doesn’t really have the high quality wingmen that a city like London will have . 

Leeds: 

Population: 800k

Advantages: 

• Good student night life – lots of good date locations in a small area. 
• Close to other daygame cities like Newcastle 
• Leeds uni and Leeds Met give for good student inflow. 
• Cheap accommodation 
• Larger population (800k) compared to the other “low population” cheap cities like Bristol 400k  and Manchester 500k 

Disadvantages: 

• Doesn’t have that tourist inflow that nearby cities like Liverpool and Manchester will enjoy . 

Good Date Locations: 

• The ClubHouse Leeds – decent coffee shop in the city centre 
• The Alchemist Leeds City Centre (Again like all the Alchemist’s this is a decent bar in a good location which is nearby a lot of other bars for a second date location bounce) 
• Raddison Leeds Centre – has a good bar area too 
• Junkyard Golf Club Located in -The Light the HeadRow- The Headrow , Leeds LS1 8TL. 

Accomdation: 

• Ibis Leeds City Centre (good for those on a budget) 
• Raddison Leeds City Centre – Expensive on the weekends but on the weekdays its around £80 a night located right in the centre of the malls 

Liverpool: 

Population:  500k

Advantages: 

• Cheap to book decent accommodation in the city centre. 
• The Beetles Museum and Liverpool FC allow for good tourist foot flow 

Disadvantages: 

• Liverpool accent quite difficult to understand so if you’re a foreigner gaming here with limited English it might not be the best course of action. 
• Probably the least attractive city on the list from my perspective. 

Good Accommodation: 

• Novotel Liverpool City Centre- Right in the heart of Liverpool adjacent to most the best dating and daygame spots . 

Birmingham: 

Population : 1.1 million 

Advantages: 

• Aston University and Birmingham Uni make for good foot flow. 
• Harvey Nichols is a good daygame location 
• Accommodation and hotels some of the cheapest there is. 
• Strong population compared to the other cheap cities in the north too at 1.1 million . 

Cardiff: 

Population: 

360,000

Advantages: 

• Possible to get cheap accommodation right next to the major university campus and city centre. 
• Cardiff Uni and Cardiff met provide good student flow . 
• Possible to take girls to many awesome 3-4th date trips like Abergavenny .  

Disadvantages: 

• Literally some of the worst quality I’ve seen in the UK women wise. 

Good Date locations Cardiff: 

• Parallel Cardiff – Great tapas bar for intimate drinks in the city centre of Cardiff. 
• Uncommon ground Coffee Roastery- Located 10-12 royal Arcade Cardiff 

London: 

Population : 8 million 

Advantages: 

• Global City of 8 million people. 
• Literally more than 40 universities in London making for constantly changing foot flow each year. 
• 30 million tourists each year. 

Disadvantages: 

• Competitive with many high quality men in the city around 100,000 millionaires living in the city to be precise . 
• Decent hotels are extremely expensive ranging from £100-600 for great logistics. 

Further Reading On London: 

Areas to Approach in London Guide: 

Areas to Game Around London A full Analysis

Areas to Date around London Guide: 

Areas to Date Around London Further Spots : Part 2 Updated for 2023 

Areas To Date Around London-A Full Guide

Disclaimer – I am not a dating coach Im not selling any products or services for those interested in potential networking Im most of the time located in London, Dubai, San Fransisco or Monaco at least once a year I will be in this locations – Email: darrenpua1@gmail.com for more info please experienced people only I don’t have time to mentor complete newbs. All these thoughts are just my individual analysis that come from dating in Dubai for approximately 6 months. This guide is quite raw but should provide most of you with a guidance of what to do – what not to do . I will be adding to it and editing it as time goes on.

Advantages/Disadvantages  Of Dating in Dubai 

Dubai is a cosmopolitan city I myself personally met my girlfriend there and have been in a very happy relationship with her for the past two years. 

• City full of different races- look no matter what your race Dubai has it. Into Middle Easterners ? Dubai is packed full of Iranians that fled post  Islamic revolution Iran in addition to this a lot of Saudi Arabians and Lebanese .  Love Asians there’s plenty of Filipinos/Burmese/ Indonesians working here in addition to Chinese who are moving their assets away from Xi Xingping. Also a huge quantity of Russians/Ukrainians fleeing the war. Into Ebony? There are plenty of Nigerians, Kenyans , Sudanese etc. There’s something for literally everyone of every taste in Dubai.
• Huge foot flow and the potential for promiscuity – given there are so many people that come in and out of Dubai on a day to day basis due to the cities international flight connections of Emirates/ Etihad airline you’re going to get quite literally tens of thousands of women coming in and out of this country. 
• Large array of space/Date Locations- The opportunities for intimate dates in Dubai are plentyfull there’s always an empty hotel or coffee shop to have an intimate dates 
• Always new faces- You don’t have to worry about approaching the same people over and over again as there’s such a constant inflow of people with 19 million people flying into this city each year there’s always new people coming in   

Disadvantages : 

• Some areas have high security and approaching is not recommended but in general if you act with common sense you will be ok. 
• It’s expensive , getting good hotels and good logistics in good areas does cost money and is unfortunately pricey but that’s the way it is when you’re in a popular , rich tax haven similar to that of Singapore or Hong Kong. 

Good Date Locations First Date- : 

Again because of the vast landmass that Dubai is its very difficult to find the perfect date spot for everyone as a lot of the hotels and accommodation is dispersed over a wide area. I’ve tried to include date spots for every major “location” of Dubai but there are some hotels that maybe still quite a fair bit away from each of them I hope at least one of these is in a good area for you. 

Bluewaters- 

Full of spots that are both expensive and cheap this area has it all for those dating on a budget or looking for something more adventurous wether its a low investment coffee date , cheap eats or some higher end restaurants this area has it all It’s also situated near some lovely beaches and hotel bars that are good for adding additional locations to your date . 

Dubai Downtown- City Walk:  

Said Dal 19230- Located in Dubai Downtown this is a great spot for a low investment first date as the drinks here aren’t that pricey compared to other areas of Dubai and can still be seen as a fun unique little spot.  The advantage of this spot is its very near the international  Uni Campuses near the Canadian University of Dubai being the most prominent which is full of students all year round so can serve as a great instant date spot if your approaches go well.  Dubai City walk itself has loads of coffee shops, ice cream stalls etc. perfect for small low investment dates without breaking the bank.

JBR: JBR is just full of restaurants and coffee shops also packed full of hotels that themselves have their own bars . It’s a great place to move from different locations and really explore what Dubai has to offer with the women you’re dating. I’ve listed my ideal first date plan in JBR on the bottom of this blog. Really there’s such an extensive choice of places in JBR that my guidance really isn’t even necessary for “good locations” so to speak.

Nightime Sisha – Anatara The Palm Dubai- This is probably my favourite Sisha spot in Dubai . At night its often empty and isn’t too pricey for Sisha and drinks . Remember you don’t need to be staying at the hotel to be allowed to dine or drink here. You can walk through the hotel and that itself is a nice spectacle after drinks or before. You can also book the tennis courts here without even staying at the hotel a good possible 2nd – 3rd Date. Anatara pictured below is just an all and all wonderful location in the nighttime there are also many restaurants and other hotels adjacent to it so you won’t run out of options going here.

Project Chaiwala: 

Located at: Alserkal Avenue, Warehouse 68 – Dubai 

If you’re located nearer the Dubai Hills and found yourself a bit far from both JBR and Dubai Downtown this can be a decent location for a first date. The tea is excellent and the vibe is good. There are also a lot of small shops and stalls nearby to go to as second and third locations on the same date. 

Raw Coffee Company: 

Located at : Warehouse Next to RTA Carpark WH10, Cnr 7A and 4A Street – Al Quoz – Al Manara – Dubai – If my other locations are too far from the area you’re staying consider the Raw Coffee Company a great first date spot ideal for weekend mornings or any date in the mornings . A low pressure environment decent for a coffee. The problem being with this location is you will likely need to take a taxi to the other locations after the date but still a worthwhile place to take a girl sometimes a good date to take a girl the morning after a lay . The coffee is excellent and the breakfast is of great quality.

Cat Cafes– If you’re dating an introverted girl/animal lover a cat cafe might be unique area to take a girl for the first date. As a low invesment low pressure date it could be a good idea particularly if you yourself don’t drink:
– Cat Cafe Vibrissae – Al Safa Park Complex 

Meowtropolis Cat Cafe- Lake Shore Tower 

Again I Don’t really recommend these as “prime date locations” but for certain introverted/ animal loving women it might be a good first date location or a second date location if you had trouble really getting through to her on the first.

Dubai International Finance Centre: 

This area hasn’t got the best foot flow but is packed with coffee shops and cheap eats. 

The following 4 coffee shops are in the DIFC area- 

Ritz-Carlton DIFC– Great area for a coffee / Drink 

The Sunken Garden- Nice place for a low pressure first date coffee/ small meal . 

EL&N London – DIFC Dubai–  I posted this coffee shop before hand several times during my Areas to Date around London guide  this is also a good area in Dubai international finance centre for a “low investment” coffee date. 

CAFE Bateel– DIFC Dubai another good coffee shop here for a first date in DIFC. 

Pristino Coffee– This is once again another good coffee shop for a first date in DIFC located next to Cafe Bateel with good outdoor and indoor seating .

Raffles Dubai – Good Hotel with a lot of discrete little libraries , galleries and bars. With around 6 different bars and restaurants located in this hotel itself there’s plenty to go . 

Address Hotels– Theres roughly 6 Address hotels in Dubai and they are fantastic for coffee, drinks and food with great sofa areas. If there’s one near you I highly recommend them for a lunch date at least. 

Good Date Locations for the Second Date: 

I don’t want to turn this into a “ food blog”  post as this is primarily a dating advice blog but for good locations ill list some here .  Theres also a great few YouTube channels about special restaurants and top rated places  in Dubai for the latest top rated spots be sure to check out these : 

https://www.youtube.com/@PeymanAlAwadhi/videos

https://www.youtube.com/@dubaicalendar8322/videos

Whenever you’re day gaming in an area do some research In the area and the good date spots you can go to in the respective area

Restaurant Dates- If you’ve already got the lay or are confident a nice restaurant date maybe something to help build rapport – my personal favourite restaurants in Dubai are : 

Cheap but memorable eats- https://vietnamesefoodies.com/downtown-dubai/ again for a night date this a cool place to have some food in an area which isn’t particularly crowded . Again a quiet but good quality place will provide some decent intimacy without breaking the bank. 

https://www.zomato.com/dubai/wakha-al-barsha/menu Again another cheap eat and something different to take your girl in comparison to other date locations around the UAE the food is excellent . 

Pricier Date Locations for high budgets – 

https://orfalibros.com/

Orfali Brothers Dubai

Again interesting food and something unique for the girl to experience for higher end restaurants I would only usually take a girl if you’ve already at least slept with her to avoid the “provider frame” narrative. 

Again another one of my favourite high end restaurants good for 2nd-3rd dates when you’ve already got the lay: 

https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g295424-d7257524-Reviews-Tresind_Dubai-Dubai_Emirate_of_Dubai.html

The best thing about this location is there’s many bars in the same building of the restaurant which provide a great deal of follow through locations. 

Dubai Mall: 

You don’t need me to write a guide on the good dating locations here there are tonnes of coffee shops here. I also think a good little spot is the Address Dubai Mall which is a great little spot for couches and a place to eat that is away from the madness of the Dubai mall .They also serve great coffee too other good spots include Arabica located in Dubai mall but to be honest a big mall like this you’re easy finding a spot to date . A good date plan would be to take a woman on a date to the Arabica coffee shop and then follow through to the Address or one of the other numerous restaurants for drinks . 

Areas to Meet People: 

Dubai Mall: 

Obviously for foot flow nothing really beats Dubai mall- there’s foot flow here all the time quite literally from the opening to the close. This is probably the best spot in the middle east to daygame due to sheer number of people that visit this location. Outside the mall can get extremely busy too . A good spot is the Waitrose located inside Dubai mall too usually packed full of people doing food shopping all day long .  

JBR/ BlueWaters: 

This area tends to come alive at the night-time with a great foot flow and just a lot of people  . Easy to navigate without the reliance of a car this is a prime location for all those who want a good nighttime gaming spot. 

Mall of the Emirates : 

Mall of the Emirates situated on the other side of Dubai there are large supermarkets here most notably Carfeour 

https://www.malloftheemirates.com/en/find-a-store/carrefour which is packed full of people all times of the day. The mall itself is decent – no where near as large as Dubai mall but still with a decent footlfow. Some may find Dubai mall too overwhelming and the appeal of a quieter environment of Mall of the Emirates. 

Inside Hotels: 

Even if you’re not staying in hotels usually they have a huge foot flow in comparison with European ones due to the sheer amount of weddings etc. Any Address branded hotel should have a decent high quality foot flow other hotels too in the JBR area  or even the Atlantis usually have a large amount of tourists there for weddings from my experience .  https://www.addresshotels.com/en/ for the full list of Address hotels.

Dubai City Walk- 

During the day outside the Canadian University of Dubai there’s plenty of students around . At night  is still a decent foot flow here as well as many coffee shops for an instant date. 

Dubai international Finance Centre/ Trade Centre Area : The area around the EL&N London DIFC area has a good foot flow at night . There are many good spots for instant dates all around you most notably Ninve which is a great place for a drink at night . During the day this area can be pretty empty so I prefer it at night for the best atmosphere. 

Gate Village building : Unit C-01, Ground Floor, Gate Village Building 9 – Dubai – United Arab EmiratesOutside a restaurant called  Avil by Tashas (https://www.avlibytashas.com- is a location that’s packed at night with great quality foot flow . My preferred spot for nighttime gaming. An area also full of restaurants and bars so all in all great for both approaching and dating. 

Outside Restaurant Village Four Seasons Resort: This area is great for night time gaming and is full of coffee shops and bars . There are around 5-10 restaurants located here including salt bae that usually have a great foot flow most nights also where the infamous Salt Bae Dubai is located so just google that and you’ll get here .

Logistics Dos and Don’ts : 

Avoid other emirates like Sharjah, Abu Dhabi etc. These places might have cheaper accommodation but you’ll be so isolated and will spend more money in terms of transportation as taxis are on average expensive in the UAE. 

Avoid the poorer areas of Dubai like Deira anything near this side of Dubai you’re likely located more around the working class districts and the poorer region these areas will likely have poorer quality women – predominantly the working class slave workers like the Burmese, Pakistanis, Indians and Filipinos. You’re unlikely to find any high quality tourists in these parts but be careful when booking hotels in Dubai because the cheapest and best value tend to be situated around this Deira area and will be around a 30 minute drive from the decent dating spots. Similar to Abu Dhabi which has a lot of good value 3-4 star hotels that are around 20-30 minute drives still from the major dating spots so be self aware of this before you book don’t let the good price of the hotel deceive you from where you are in situation to the best dating locations

Ideally you want to be somewhere near the areas of major foot flow this will be either Dubai Mall/Dubai Downtown  or JBR . These areas are the easiest by far in terms of foot flow and offer the most instant date opportunities . These areas are of course expensive but will save you on taxi rides or possible commute times. If you’re going to book a hotel in a cheaper area make sure you at least lease a car so you can drive to the high populated areas (car rental is reasonable and petrol is cheap) relying on taxis will get expensive over time.  If you have an unlimited budget just book the Address Dubai mall as you will quite literally be right next to all the action. 

Simplistic Date plans – 

Whilst Dubai is a large land mass its vitally important you organise your dates in advance so they are well planned and logical . Failure to do so could well have a negative impact on your date and too much time spent in taxis going from A to B

Simple Three step location date plan in Dubai JBR  – 

Whilst  I was in Dubai I followed a similar date plan for all of my dates that involved a coffee meet up initially in Jumeriah Beach Arabica then followed by mini golf then a nice poke bowl with a great night view . This is my plan for every first dates I had in Dubai and is adventurous without being too expensive and can create an element of fun and excitement whilst being a good opportunity to show your leadership. 

Step 1.  

Meetup Location – % ARABICA DUBAI JBR, Dubai Marina – Dubai – United Arab Emirates. This is outdoors so puts a lot less pressure on the girl and is great at all times during the day. Even for a quick first coffee date this is an ideal place to meet up . 

Step 2. 

Meet at 3d Backlight Minigolf this area is a whole 1 minute away from the Arabica cafe and means you don’t have to travel far in the heat with the girl you’re with . It’s also an easy , efficient way to garner two different locations in your date again the more locations you can fit in your dates usually the better as psychologically it has the potential to make the girl believe you and her have spent more time together than you actually have done.  This mini golf game area is in a series of dark lit rooms too which could offer the ideal route for escalation if the girl is feeling your vibe too. 

Step 3. 

Afterwards the usual plan is for a third location which my personal favourite in this area is to head for a meal located in Dolce Green Bluewaters Island – HA building level one – Unit number HA 017  this is located around 20 minutes walk from the 3d Backlight Minigolf . The key with this set up is even though its a food place they do good smoothies and have bean bags in which you can sit and admire the viewpoints. Usually I will end the first date here but if things are still going well there are plenty of bars and restaurants on the beaches nearby. 

Further 3rd Dates and Onwards

If you feel your relationship with your partner is going well and want better long term dating options then trips to Abu Dhabi and Fujairah maybe worthwhile .

Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai, San Fransisco  or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value.

2 Step Dates : 

Coffee Then Bar Date : Refer To my Previous Guide For what’s the best date setup for you. Remember this can vary for girl to girl and who you like . IF you like drunk ass party girls then obviously more alcohol based dates are for you . If you want to play more of a long game then providing a variety of different locations can set your woman up for unique experiences while keeping things interesting and fresh for you too. If you’re under time constraint or the woman is leaving and you want the lay then pushing for some bars near where you live is always the most optimal approach. Match what you like to your date location . Dont feel forced to go somewhere purely because the local player got a 100 lays at one bar and now you feel obliged to take your ultra conservative girl on a  date there. Similarly read how she’s feeling. If she’s really shy an activity date may help to bring her personality out a bit more rather than Liam McRae style rapid escalation . Every woman is different and one  date might work for one might fail horrifically for another .  Also this depends on what your relationship goals are whether you’re looking for a LTR or  Short term fling- for women you’re looking for a more long term thing with you may want  to ease it off and play things cooler. This is advisable particularly if you know the woman is committing to your city for a long period of time for example she is completing one year of her three year degree course. If this example is the case you most probably don’t want a rapid escalation back to yours first date. 

Dates to Avoid: 

Any emphasis on politics:  For obvious reasons make sure there’s nothing affecting your date in political terms. For example one failure date I had was taking my first date with a Czech  to a gallery which had strongly political themed art. This was a huge mistake which derailed the date and made her upset about the images and artwork involved which completely killed the vibe. You don’t want any date location that can potentially build up any political discussion its just not a first date topic and can more often than not ruin things. 

Film Dates: For obvious reasons just no real opportunity to talk and get to know her . 

Dates in Locations where other people will get in the way :  For example it’s not a good idea to take a woman somewhere that’s overly packed  like a bar during a football match or an overly loud place where you can’t hear her . This could be seen as basic common sense but its something to thing about . Avoid generic dating locations in very busy areas like Soho especially on the weekends where you might find seating hard to come by . 

Matching Dates to the Personality: 

Matching a date to the perspective girl you’re dating’s personality is always a good mode of thinking. You don’t want to put a conservative girl in a nightclub with raging  loud music nor an introverted girl somewhere that will bore you and kill the vibe. If you’re struggling to get something out of the girls personality after speaking to her maybe try an activity to bring out her personality a bit more like for example mini golf.  If you’re dating a fitness /yogi girl picking a high end organic coffee shop like Daylesford or whole foods might be a good way to score extra points. Try and read her and maybe gage from her instagram what seems to like and maybe use a date idea that can replicate her interests. 

Russell Square: 

Russell Square is an area at the forefront of 4 Major University campuses its therefore a place where if you’re day gaming you want to have insta dates with students on your objective.  

Qima Coffee shop- This coffee shop is striking, eloquent and an interesting place to take a woman for a low key first date. Close to most the major universities this is a good spot to have if you’re approaching women around the campuses and are need of a good instant date spot . There’s also plenty of outdoor seating so in the summer this can be a huge plus granted it can potentially get crowded during the week so make sure you have a second back up option nearby if this is the case or simply purchase a coffee to go from here and just go for a walk to the main square and sit down and talk.  

Piccadilly:

  A quick coffee at whole foods Piccadilly  for the first part of the date followed by a drink at the Fallow which is beautiful bar with decent British style food. A third date location after this could be Barffina nearby .  Piccadilly whole foods is an easy location for a coffee date and is a great place to take tourists especially those visiting London for the first time. Bear in mind though on the weekend these places can be difficult to go to for dating so if you’re pre planning a bar on the weekend in Piccadilly its’s best to call up in advance and prebook a spot. 

Covent Garden Coffee To Bar:  Get a Coffee at % Arabica followed by some wine or Tapas at Barfina . Easy two step date option.  

Mayfair -Coffee To Bar  Dates: 

I find Mayfair a good choice as it tends to be emptier than Soho/Covent Garden Areas. 

Take them Guiliam Coffee Shop  , great location for a first date followed by a drink at the Churchill Cigar Lounge. Next to the Churchill Cigar lounge there are several hotels that serve alcohol deep into the night. 

Mayfair Kitchen: This is a fantastic drinks spot with plenty of good seating. Great for a night cocktail it’s a perfect second or third spot if you’re dating around this area. 

An alternative interesting spot is the coffee shop Shot  which is very popular especially amongst middle eastern women followed by bounce to Manetta’s bar which opens from 4pm. Perfect way to move from a non-alcohol date to an alcohol one whilst keeping the premise of you being the “leader” of the date . 

Charing Cross: 

Page8 Hotels is a lovely bar located approximately 6 minutes away from Charing Cross station. This is a spacious coffee place that closes at 6pm but seeing as its attached to hotel the area where the coffee is served never really “closes” as such so the date can last far beyond the 6pm closure time. Near the closure time this place starts to empty up which is great for escalation . This can be followed by a restaurant bounce  to Orrery of course taking women to boogie restaurants isn’t for everyone but I think for a weekday lunch this is an excellent spot for a second or third date or maybe a date for a woman after sex . 

KnightsBridge-

 Coffee To Bar Dates: 

The big advantage of Knightsbridge is it’s the place where the coffee shops close the latest. This is arguably the best place in London to have an alcohol free date late at night even as late as 9-10pm so if your day job finishes late this is still a very good option as El﹠N and L’Eto shut very late here around 11pm .Furthermore there are Sisha bars that close around 10pm-12am  like Cavalli lounge or 17 on Sloane  so its a prime location for keeping a date and bouncing to other locations late into the night without being too crowded or overwhelming for the girl.  A lot of people are worried that Knightsbridge is too much of an expensive location but there are still reasonably priced coffee shops in this area that I’ve already listed.  

Knoops Knightsbridge -a decent hot chocolate place (also serving  hot chocolate )  that  isn’t too pricy and the perfect spot for a low time investment date that won’t come across too boring. After this take her to Hawksmoor for a drink – there’s a bar area in this restaurant.  Knightsbridge has a tonne of coffee options most notably EL a N and numerous cake shops including L-Eto as previously mentioned . 

Furthermore at the time of writing this (7th November 2023) there is a Shot Knightsbridge a very popular coffee chain being under construction and that maybe a good place to take women out on an instant date. 

Saddle Coffee shop is also another beautiful Emryati  coffee place which  opened in Knightsbridge this year and  is another great place to take women that you cold approach in Harrods and Selfridges for an instant date. It’s also a good place to possibly take students on an instant date from that you  approach at Imperial collage. 

Alternatively there are numerous coffee places and bars in Harrods you can take women although be mindful if dating on weekends Friday/ Saturday/Sunday its likely to be very crowded which could make getting seats at the right time difficult – you never want a venue to be too packed or else you risk not being able to hear the girl speak or running into other problems. 

Marylebone  Date Ideas: 

Coffee Shops you can chose – Daylesford Organic – always a nice spot to take a woman out for a coffee especially those who are into health and fitness. Then nearby you have loads of options for bars nearby my personal favourite as I wrote in the other guide is the Churchill cigar lounge  or Nobu Hotel has a fantastic bar area downstairs which isn’t too expensive and is a great place to grab a wine and never gets too packed with excellent seating too ideal for escalation .   Alternatively a good instant date spot is inside Selfridges in the food court area there’s a lovely juice bar with good seating an ideal dating spot you can bounce after to Nobu or one of the numerous bars located within Selfridges  itself. 

Alternatively there is Modern Coffee a good swanky brunch spot which can followed by a bounce to  108 Brasserie, the advantage of 108 Brasserie is that you can have food with the girl then lead her to many of the cocktail bars located within the restaurant.  Remember in dates you want to vary as many different places as possible to make the date seem more adventurous and psychologically this will make your relationship, trust and rapport seem “ longer” for the girl if you go to many different spots and locations. 

South Kensington : 

Again the area outside museum and imperial college has a good outflow of students  so finding a good place to take them for a coffee should be planned in advance in case you strike the instant date.  El a N South Kensington is fantastic coffee spot or L’eto . You can then lead them to Hawksmour Knightsbbridge for a drink after too .  Guilam Coffee house is my personal favourite location here even though there are other additional good spots located . This is a great spot to take for example students from Imperial Collage on an instant date. 

Shoreditch/ Liverpool Street  : 

Boxpark Shoreditch is a fantastic place to take a girl for a low investment lunch. Although on the weekends this can be a very crowded place and not necessarily  ripe for escalation. 

EATLY Liverpool Street is also a fantastic coffee shop that has wine bars located on the upper floors . You can bounce to different locations in the venue itself as its packed with a lot of restaurants. Start with a low investment coffee then build your way towards a drink at the bar if the date is going well. 

Other date ideas can be going to % Arabica London Spitalfields followed by a walk to Spitalfields market itself and grabbing a bite to eat. Bear in mind on the weekends these places might get absolutely packed so intimacy can be difficult to obtain. If so have some smaller coffee shops with less seating in mind as a backup if dating in Liverpool Street on the weekends. 

Sloane Square : 

I posted most of my prime date locations in the other London dating guide but Lorian Delicatessen  is a great place to take women on the weekdays bear in mind this place shuts at 5pm most days but is a good open space with plenty of room for  intimacy on a date. 

Cafe Kitsune at Pantechnicon is another great place that serves French and Japense fusion confectionery . The impressive architectural  design will hopefully keep women in awe and make for a good low investment coffee date with plenty of nearby shish bars or cocktail bars nearby to the venue in both knightsbridge and Sloane Square  if you’re in need of a bounce . 

Vardo Chelsea Restaurant: This is another good coffee shop perfect for low investment summer time dates. Also nearby a lot of other bars its a good starting location for any Sloane Square based date. 

Islington: 

Megan’s at the sorting Office Restaurant. Ok, not everyone is a fan of Megan’s but the area this coffee place/restaurant in is good making a good starting point you’re literally surrounded by bars or other adjacent coffee shops and restaurant and the area is slick and perfect for a date 

Kings Cross : 

Redemption Roasters: Again a  stereotypical coffee shop but it’s a great place to take a girl on an instant date especially if you’re gaming near the art university of UAL . There are plenty of other cocktail bars near you for a second  bounce. 

Tottenham Court Road : 

The bar area in The Radisson Blu Kenilworth Hotel- this bar area I find to be the most spacious and underrated in London . Perfect for a quiet and intimate drinking date with a girl its defiantly a fantastic location and one which can provide a good opportunity for escalation if things are going well. 

Hope this article helps. Again there is a huge amount of choice in London whilst I can’t obviously list every date location I think I’ve listed some of the best spots to provide as a base for your dates which you yourselves can build upon. Make sure for each spot you pick you have another two locations lined up incase things go well. This will enable you to go on more of a“journey” with the woman involved and build rapport with her.  Always plan your dates – have a good structure in place if you feel the woman is enjoying the occasion don’t be afraid to switch to another venue to broaden the sense of excitement and adventure on the date. 

For Networking Email darrenpua1@gmail.com – Disclaimer- Im NOT a dating coach ,  Im a dating blogger from London, I do not sell coaching programmes or “self help” courses Im just here to post my views and perspectives on dating , relationships and sexual dynamics. Im an avid day-gamer and lover of sexual and relationship dynamics and use this blog to share the information from cold approach that I’ve learnt over the years. I hang out predominantly in London (where I’m currently based) , Dubai and Nice (South Of France) sometimes Texas/California and South Korea so if you’re from any of these cities/countries hit me up! 

It came to me the other day a post on my Instagram in reply to a reel  made by The Natural Lifestyles dating coach  Alex Leon. During which he claimed that money was only “ 2 percent “ of attraction between men and women – the cheek really. I found this astoundingly poor advice and something that could fuck up men’s perspectives if they took it seriously. 

Also before I continue you I must stress you should never take any dating coaches perspectives too seriously- you need to analyse them all and scrutinise them to a Tee – mine included obviously ( and im not a dating coach just a relationship  blogger at best buffoon at worst ) 

Political Implications of Money in relationships 

In order to analyse the implications of money in relationships you need different metrics- the country you’re in, the personality of the nationality of girls there, how money is perceived by said culture, the income equality between men and women in said country all of these are important metrics to consider. Also compare this to the women of nationalities YOU enjoy. For example if you love Chinese women then being on minimum wage in the UK is enough for you to be in the top 10-20 percent income profiles in China. Similarly in Latin America $18500 a year income is enough for you to make it into the “ Upper Class” of Argentina so someone earning minimum wage in the UK will also be considered a “top tier” earner in Argentina .

Then what about Left Leaning countries? Countries which- women’s incomes are high or increasing. I take the Nordic countries as an example of this as women make considerably more on average than most countries in the world. These countries Norway, Finland, Sweden and Denmark I see more of a reverse in male and female polarity this is reflected by my experiences dating Swedish/Danish women where there is seemingly been 0 expectation for me to lead the date and one occasion where a Swedish girl got insulted when I tried to pay for the coffee during a date. Of course there will be exceptions to this rule once again but it’s a trend I’ve certainly clocked.   

So what’s the point of this analysis ? Well the political ideology of women in dating is somewhat relevant as I’ve noticed trends in left leaning countries where the urge for men to pay on the first date, buy the girl things , lead the girl is somewhat lacking to a degree contrary  in more conservative leaning countries. Of course there are exceptions to the rule as I stressed before but this is just a trend I’ve noticed in my Time dating women from different cultures.  So the conclusion? Some cultures will expect more which in turn means you’ll need to spend more money .

The dating coaches who say “money doesn’t matter” 

Overtime a number of coaches who’ve stated money is obsolete In attraction. Some who’ve said this include: RyanBlack, Sasha Day-game  and Alex Leon  To a degree they’re sometimes right but I don’t think this idea bears much fruit longterm.  Especially in LTRs and marriages which these coaches completely forget about also it can somewhat be negligent as an LTR or marriage is a realistic aim for a lot of men in dating. Not all want to hook up forever and in order for a relationship to be maintained long term you do need some sort of financial stability to foster. 

Money is an intrinsic part of women’s dating strategy , it’s not the be all and end all by any means but its pretty damn well important . You need money for real true longevity in relationships, from traveling with your partner to having money for kids so it’s therefore completely foolish to dismiss this paradigm or as Alex Leon classifies as “2 percent of attraction” .  Of course this doesn’t mean that broke guys can’t and won’t achieve success in the sexual marketplace quite the contrary Ive seen some broke guys do hella better than myself and really dominate the sexual market place . But I’ve also seen rich guys do very well and use their wealth to “seal the deal” so to speak- Im  convinced that high wealth can- and will always remain a strong part of attraction which I will aim to prove with the rest of this article. 

Geographical patterns of Money and Accumulation of hot women 

If money doesn’t matter why do women flock to cities where money is abundant? Think about it, take London as a prime example, why do the hottest women live in the richest areas? Kensington , Knightsbridge and Sloane Square these places are the three cities with the hottest chicks by far and they are three of the wealthiest areas of London. You’re trying to tell me that women don’t to some degree follow the money?  Take Dubai as a prime example a lot of women there that are seeking out wealthy husbands.  And then there’s the US…. With New York and California  the wealthiest states and  still places where a lot of high value women flock too and I hazard a guess the monumental wealth of these cities has something to do with it. 

On the contrary look at how women move and migrate. How many hot women move to Dubai then say Eastern Europe like Ukraine  (just assume this is pre the war) or Hungary- why? Because the men in these  countries are too broke for these women to find a high quality mate . When you look geographically as Nick Krauser once stated its best that women move west and that men move east.  Your average Joe in London will have a much easier time dating out of his league in Vietnam for example than London and your 6 ft 2 Russian model is better off cashing that fertility in in London or New York.  More importantly very few women migrate from the West to the East. Pretty telling no? How many women go from the UK into a LTR with Thai men? For example , no where near the amount of men that go  from the UK to Thailand to pick up Thai brides which is  overwhelming higher than the amount of women that come to Thailand to marry Thai men – of course there are exceptions when I was Thailand I did meet a few women from the western countries that were dating Thai guys but the general trend does sit firmly in place . Similarly with the Korean/ Vietnamese brides situation- there are a colossal amount amount of Korean men who go to poor areas of Vietnam and hover up the women for marriage there. Compare that to the amount Vietnamese men that are slaying Korean pussy and the comparison makes me feel that there are socio economic factors in place in the dating world . 

Analysing the Data of how money can be pivotal to Dating in the Global Sexual Marketplace:  Using two documentaries one shown in South Korea the other shown In Thailand it’s easy to understand the effects wealth can have on women. In the British documentary  by Louis Theroux on Thai Brides listed below  the old mentally ill guy despite not even being wealthy and living in a rental house in some suburb of the UK is still able to attract some interest goes to show that some women would deal with a bat shit crazy guy if it meant leaving from the social trap that is working class in Thailand. The other video is a more common relationship dynamic between Old Korean working class men and Vietnamese brides. Those Korean men who are unable to compete in the sexual market place against the more demanding Korean women lose out and will resort to countries in which their sexual market value appears higher than in Korea. Of course the nearest countries with fertile women are working class Vietnamese and Filipino women. We see alot of interracial marriage between Vietnamese and Korean I noticed this while I was studying Korean that my textbook even used the names of Vietnamese people rather than Korean confirming most likely that it was book to teach Vietnamese immigrants in Korea… anyway I digress. The trends are there anyway even the text books are prepping you for it. 

But are goldigging whores much better than women with genuine desire? 

This is an interesting question/ point of view. From the data analysed from interracial marriages between Koreans and Vietnamese brides their divorce rate is similar to that of regular Korean couples, coincidence? (Watch the documentary for proof)  Maybe insinuating that these gold digger types that PUA coaches warn us of are just as loyal/disloyal. Maybe money could be the glue that holds things together? Considering so many divorces in the western world are caused by financial stress it’s easy to see why women might just flock and stay in a dysfunctional relationship with a rich man as opposed to a passionate one of genuine desire with a poor man. Some women most definitely regard wealth as a form of safety and why wouldn’t they? From an evolutionary biological perspective it absolutely makes sense for a woman to date a rich man especially if they have kids. They’ll want the best for them wouldn’t they? They would want private school for the kids for example , good housing for them etc. Is a broke passionate musician or someone else going to provide them that? Unlikely. 

Are women wrong to be “gold diggers”? 

In theory no, I mean look it at the women’s perspective they are aged between 18-29 for their peak years at best, of course they want to cash out with a man that’s financially stable and can provide them with financial support. Especially when they’re pregnant the majority are  not going to  want a broke guy looking after them. They want money so they can have a good life and that their children can have one too. Whats wrong with that? Money is important and serves as a gap in relationships without a sizeable chunk of cash its difficult to also see a relationship truly develop well and be sustainable.  Most Pua coaches are coming from a place of quick hookups rather than looking at what is actually needed for a sustainable long term dating perspective so its important for them to downplay this factor as a “stereotype” but a lot of stereotypes exist because there are prime examples that have contributed to creating that whether its Thai Brides, Vietnamese brides or that fat businessman in Dubai marrying a slim Russian woman. There is definite truth there.  

Women will always fight for the best for themselves and the best future for their children if they have them . The reality is we are all wired to be selfish and greedy so why wouldn’t we take the most attractive offer on the table ?And usually that involves financial security. Women will fight for it , a future for themselves and their children? Why wouldn’t they. Why do they need to resign the possibility of making more money from jealous men or red pill lovers online? They don’t give a shit about people who analyse the situation behind the laptops like me nor do they really care much about red pill reddit. These things they honestly don’t really care about and why would they? They have no incentive to , they want to protect themselves and their family and their children. They don’t care about the criticism from conservative men or men who want them to be loved “just the way they are” 

So why do PUA coaches emphasise that money isn’t important? Is it to attract more clients – maybe? After all if you paint the picture that all that matters is “vibe” you can attract the low SMV clients into some positive thinking and I guess a positive approach to something and expecting that all women will suck your wang even if you’re financially unstable there will be a portion of women that will see that as a turn off and you’ll lose them. You won’t lose “ALL” women of course but still. Im replying to the coaches that say “money doesn’t matter at all” when it most obviously is an attractive point. 

PUAING girls from the third world compared to the first world examples :

My experiences with wealth impacting  my dating experience, coming from a relatively upper class place in London I felt it didn’t really make much of difference in London given that there are around 100,000 millionaires in this city.  No one particularly gave a shit that I had money bar one SDL that I got when I was 24 after a night club who complimented that I had a big house (which wasn’t mine it was my mothers anyway) . Aside from this wealth I didn’t really make much of difference in London primarily due to the fact that everyone around me was already wealthy therefore wealth was deemed nothing special I especially found this to be true whilst attending private school in London –  no one seemed to give a shit if you were wealthy because everyone pretty much was. No girl really gave a much shits back then but then when you have the pleasure and comfort of living in a city like London with a high middle class and a high number of wealthy elite your perceptions are skewed.  

It did however make a huge difference when dating in certain third world countries, I had a brief stint in Myanmar for example I was able to date a beautiful Burmese woman on tinder and I believe my status as a westerner was the primary reason (she still wanted to split everything though) but I most definitely wouldn’t have dated her in London.  End of the day geography matters for both men and women. Some nations or cities will be full of cock and high earning men like London or New York. Others will be full of attractive females who will have relatively low expectations compared to rich western nations  like Vietnam and China  It’s important to evaluate these perspectives and what fits best with you based on where you are living.  Why was I able to date a hot woman in Myanmar so quickly? Is it because I’m amazing? No its because there are 10s of thousands of less attractive men in Myanmar quite literally. The competition is much lower , its not even conceivable . Also the bulk of Burmese people are broke as fuck – if you’re earning minimum wage in the UK you’re a big catch in Myanmar. 

However  its not always linear like this I approached a lot of poor filipinos in Saudi Arabia and Dubai with a white English attractive wingman and I got blown out by every single one , of course I don’t believe every woman is automatically hypergamous . I don’t expect every single  girl to fall head over heels for me due to my passport. It would be a ridiculous expectation and wouldn’t make much sense.  But there’s definitely a trend which comes with having a “strong passport” in third world countries. Of course you might get blown out as some women might see you as taking advantage with your position as a westerner which low and behold I was. 

Lack of Money does Diminish Men’s Sexual Market Value. 

Like let’s be clear, lack of financial stability does harm your long term attractiveness scale to certain women . But also causes harm in other ways too – 

• Men who lack financial resources have less money to spend on romantic/ interesting dates- if you want to keep a relationship interesting and exciting you have to do more interesting shit and money is a key component to being able to lead the girl to various locations and make things more interesting. 
• Men who lack money most likely will have worse logistics when it comes to dating increasing the chance of LMr. This was somewhat a problem when I was doing day-game in London I found a trend between poor logistics and LMR. Although it wasn’t the definitive factor by any means but it did make securing the lay harder. 
• Men who have less money In general will have less to spend on good quality food and nutrition making them less likely to maintain SMV – Yes you need to keep your health in check and having money to do this is important. 
• Lack of money means you’ll have less to spend on coaching / travel and therefore less able to make yourself lead a dynamic and interesting lifestyle- having puaed with a lot of broke wingmen the broke ones obviously have less chance to improve their SMV and become more “interesting” which is definitely a cause for concern- for long term SMV you really do need money as a man to continue to become more dynamic and improve. 
• Lack of money means less money to spend on fashion which could diminish SMV – fashion being one of the easiest ways to improve sexual market value 
• Could lead to you being less adventurous, you won’t be able to take women on more variety of dates and will be limited to a certain type of date which could be deemed repetitive and boring- i.e. the same bland coffee date at Pret A Manger for example. 

Does too much money make men lazy? 

Id say so – I don’t have stats to back it up but if you live too much of a pampered lifestyle this could lead to laziness and falling into a gold digger trap. Ive seen a lot of rich finance guys fall into this . Having something to strive for and being proactive about your dating problems will nearly always trump having a lot of money and at the end of the day nothing matters more than consistent approaches money can amplify the effects of consistent approaching and increase your lays but its not the be all and end all. Ive had nice logistics before and failed miserably I’ve also slept in hostel beds and been successful .  But I’ve found having too much financial success or too much going on  with business can cause you to feel demotivated to some degree. 

Spending money on “great logistics” 

I have to say in my PUA trips the most productive I was was when I had poor logistics compared to good ones. Shit logistics like a hostel or a tiny one bedroom apartment made me more proactive and want to go meet people whereas good logistics like a luxury apartment made me lazy and unproductive  . Having loads of cash on a PUA trip – getting the best logistics out there isn’t necessarily going to lead to more dates as I soon found out- at the core nothing beats a good – strong work ethic.  I had my best day-game successes in Shanghai when I was staying at a hostel I was very proactive going out every night. In contrast I had some very nice logistics in Dubai right next to a university with a fabulous apartment and failed to garner a single date in a month due to not working hard enough. This isn’t knocking on good logistics though if you’ve got good logistics make sure you utilise them to your advantage with a strong work ethic. Without a decent work effort to back up what you have you’ll struggle to make the most of what you got.  That said good logistics can provide “safety” and reassurances for the girl in comparison to bad ones. If you can afford better its nearly always better to have such. 

Are Dating Coaches somewhat hypocrites?

A good chunk of dating coaches say money doesn’t matter but spend their time puaing in poor economic countries ( something I’ve done myself ) Look at James Marshall’s first pua book entitled the “limitless seducer”  his most impressive lays were in 2008 Ukraine when he used myspace to bang Ukrainian chicks. He literally exploited his own status as an Aussie and went to the third world to fuck women earning £150 an average monthly salary . This eventually even backfires on him as the really hot Ukrainian girl he ends up marrying seems to just use him in a marriage  to go to Australia where she seemingly cheats on him with other more prestigious guys all In all this is just an example of how prominent dating coaches use the third world to maximise their sexual market value and take the most advantage. Of course there are other examples by the fact that almost all of The Natural Lifestyles coaching is run in Eastern Europe which is prominently full of low income women I feel this is done intentionally to induce maximum chance for their clients and the coaches themselves to secure lays.  Furthermore Alex Leon of The natural Lifestyles runs Tilted Officials which again relies on employing Ukrainian women and giving them holidays  I mean would tilted work if it employed American or UK women Im not so sure . John Antony seemingly spends the majority of his time now in Brazil and Tom Torero/Nick Krauser were both entirely situated in Eastern Europe coaching there also Tom Torero spent a good period of time coaching people in Singapore which is a country known for its low Sexual market Value men  in terms of PUA skill and social skill who are often on compulsory military duty (thus greatly decreasing the competition for women )  I don’t see Tom Torero running any daygame dating workshops in Rome-  Italy or Paris-France he probably knew full well that these cities were full of confident men therefore chose not to coach here and chose easier environments instead.  

These are examples of course but if the experts of the industry and the people with the most experience are hanging in these areas and playing to their strengths in this way then so should you. 

Divorce and the Financial Issues that cause relationship breakdown 

Simply speaking- a lot of divorces are caused by financial pain.  According to this clickbait article made by a bunch of most likely greedy divorce lawyers 29 percent of divorces are caused by financial issues  https://www.thejimenezlawfirm.com/what-percent-of-marriages-end-in-divorce-because-of-money/ Agin this in someway  shows the importance of financial security for relationships , LTRs and marriages . Theres no doubt that financial issues will cause some long term relationship insecurity. Once again this could be a simple way to argue against those who say money doesn’t matter in dating. If not then why are so many divorces ensued by financial issues? 

Conclusions: 

I write a lot of PUA content to challenge existing theories PUA coaches make its something I love to do , my reasonings are its always important to be rational when analysing everyones belief systems especially that of PUA coaches. You don’t want to be overly hung up on one persons opinion and remember that at the end of the day the coaches want to sell you shit and giving you false hope is part of their process of selling you shit. So please don’t fall or become obsessed with their ideologies too much . It’s just going to fuck you up to become a carbon copy of them without thinking for yourself. You need to do your own approaches, do a tonne of day-game, date a lot of women from different races and come to your own conclusions. My opinion is that Alex Leon was wrong to say that wealth is “2 percent” of attraction. It most definitely is not , id put it at least to 30 percent. Looking at the sheer amount of divorces caused by financial issues  , the patterns in marriage and the areas where hot girls live you’d have to a fucking idiot to believe someone who blags that crap. In some cases wealth does matter a lot especially in LTRs ,SMV maintenance for men  and marriages in other areas like a quick hook up at a hostel  wealth obviously is less important but I chose to tie it in more with the long term dating objectives of men which are more skewed towards the importance of wealth because I believe this is what the majority of men in the sexual market really are striving for be that a LTR or a marriage. 

Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach – Im purely writing this blog as my own perspectives and that’s about it . I am available for networking though in London, France (Nice) , US (Dallas and California) are the areas where I commonly am. For email networking please email darrenpua1@gmail.com

Do men really have “more time than Women” analysing and assessing the myth that men have more time than women. 

Ok so I was having a bit of a debate with myself the other day after watching a 21 convention video boasting that “men have loads of time to date , women have a limited time when they are high SMV that will diminish with time. Whilst I believe it’s true that men have longer to cash in on the sexual market I don’t believe its as easy as saying we have an advantage long term.  Our sexual market value most certainly goes up longterm starting from a smaller base whilst women’s increase early on between their 18-25s  then diminishes as they age. Whilst this has been the subject of much arrogance from the black pill and red pill I decided to write this piece to emphasise that whilst I agree with the core point that women over a long period tend to decline faster I don’t necessarily feel that the extra time that men garner is actually a massive advantage at all seeing as men have much greater time expenses than women in terms of improving sexual market value, maintaining it and further improving it. Once you add up and take into account all these factors I still believe fertile/attractive women still hold the bulk of the cards and advantages in terms of sexual market value . The objective of this  article  isn’t to inspire some sort of negativity or doom or gloom . The aim of this article itself is to provide men with the necessary inspiration to start approaching and go out there and meet as many people as possible because time is of the essence regardless of what your potential is or what you have now. It’s also there to prevent over-complacency  by men in the sexual market place something which the “red pill craze” maybe responsible for. 

Time Spent dating/Approaching

Men’s time expense on dating is infinitely higher , factoring in all the approaching men have to do that’s a huge time expense in of itself, women will spend next to 0 time actively approaching men proactively where as the average man will need to approach and date thus expending  hundreds of hours in order to have a chance to date out of their league in retrospect women merely have to download an app to have access to a pool of 1000s of potential suitors. So the time expense is still on men really, regardless of their SMV as a male 10 will not out match a female 1 on an online dating app and if you as a man really want to get what you desire you’re going to have to spend some time approaching to get your ideal type. Of course the amount of rejections, LMR and bad dates should go down as your skillset improves. But even the highest value of Puas out there will always face rejection regardless . This makes dating all in all a bigger time expense for men and will always be so. As technological advances will really only benefit the top 1-2 percent of men but will intern benefit almost all value of women far greater. The bottom “90 percent” of men will therefore need to ramp up the approaches to increase their options as a result of these technological advances and these women who have more options online may not be as receptive to cold approach anymore. 

Men’s Health Will Deteriorate  : 

Ok , men’s sexual prime will be an older age than a woman’s maybe around the 30-40s mark but age catches up with us all- even the best athletes in the world have to give up their respective sports due to age. So Im  not here saying that men have all the time in the world and that they can keep competing in the sexual market forever – far from it. There are a lot of factors out there that can destroy a man’s testosterone , Im  not going to go all in on them this time round. But factors such as blue light, poor diet, screen addiction, porn addiction can slowly hinder men’s health and make them miss out on opportunities in the sexual market place.

 Of course men can put off these issues by doing what needs to be done to maintain their health: eating healthy, going to the gym , getting their supplementation right , giving up alcohol -junk food etc. Can all contribute towards maintaining a man’s smv but anyway as men go past 30 usually testosterone declines and this needs to be something that men need to address. Do they want to be fucking in their prime of life ? How sexually active will they be capable of having the energy to run multiple approaches each day in line with their job , whilst doing gym etc.  It’s important to understand as a man your peak will not last forever and that you need to start doing approaches as soon as possible and increasing your options. Time is of the essence for both genders , just because women more often than not decline earlier doesn’t mean that men won’t face some sort of decline too eventually . All be it biohacks, giving up alcohol , investing in good quality nutrition can all help  fight against this decline in smv but its by no means a guarantee . 

Men need to spend time finding “Marriage Material” : Look it takes time to find marriage material, I think in the last 50 girls I’ve dated I’ve only seen around 2-3 marriage material girls, for men it’s tough to find these women and they are a dime in a dozen. If you’re serious about having kids and finding the ideal partner you need to have discipline running through you in terms of approaching and dating and  this takes fuck loads of time.  It’s not easy of course but its the only way to combat this issue. 

Also finding out of a person’s habits take an enormous amount of time too. You don’t want a girl that’s just good at sex but you want to really know what happens when the going gets tough and you’re up against it and to find reliable people takes time. You also need to factor in time you meet psychopathic women and potential betrayals that need to be factored in there maybe a bunch of women you date that don’t have the exact longterm or short-term vision as you. Finding a woman who’s visions you align with alone is very tough and time consuming whether you like it or not . 

 Just because someone is hot and likes you or someone is good at sex with you doesn’t make them marriage material or LTR worthy. Most men think with their dick. You should try your damned hardest not to  or else this could have ramifications at a later date. In terms of my personal life I’ve seen the consequences of this in terms of analysing both my older brother’s relationships. Both fell for women who were with them for their money and status . My eldest only found out after they were 10 years into the relationship and she cheated on him. My eldest suffered from scarcity in his dating life, despite being an accomplished , good looking and wealthy individual he didn’t spend the time to really analyse who he was dating he just jumped in and married the first girl that was into him. This had huge consequences and ramifications for both him and my family – consequences that we deal with today. So I beg you guys that are reading please take time to really analyse who you date because if you pick the wrong person it does have consequences please take your time and work hard. 

Men’s Young Years have the potential to be filled with Loneliness which leaves them with a huge gap to fill:  Men’s youth is a crack pit. Mine sucked and I was as privileged as one could be. For starters I went to a private school , you’d think this would give me some edge in my life in reality  I was pitted against some of the highest sexual market value men in south London and my main interests were jerking off and playing FIFA. I had zero hobbies, interests or skills and had no self confidence. My parents had a $600k apartment in South of France so I spent all of my youth in Cannes /Nice (the French city not the adjective) area, still 0 dates, 0 lays, 0 approaches despite being privileged with money. Even men who have some relative SMV to start with may find themselves with little to show for it. In comparison my year group’s hottest girl was being porked by a guy who was two years above me, who was a future Oxford Graduate and the son of Russian billionaire. Tough market for me , who’s most impressive accomplishment at that age would’ve been my 6th wank during a call of duty session. Hardly anything to attract any girl and the lack of interest from any single girl up until I was aged 17 grew massive amounts of loneliness into my life that started to harm my education and my day to day perspective on everything . This then grew into a pornography and gaming addiction along with low grades. I effectively wasted my high school due to excessive loneliness which in hindsight most probably couldn’t have been fixed because the pool of women was so low relative to the high quality of men in my private school  that the statistical probability of any of these women not liking me was high .

Now I’m not saying every Pua or person in the dating sphere is going to have such a horrendous  streak as mine. Im saying the Matthew effect could come into play where a dry streak at a young age spirals and creates low confidence and self esteem at a later date.  ‘Getting over this” Could serve as problematic too some men enter a dating slump and never get out of it. They never cold approach they remain their entire lives at the mercy of algorithms on dating apps or the city they’re in or just hope that they go to the bar and the right horny girl comes up to them. These are unsustainable solutions to the problem men face in my opinion but they are the solutions that men use.  

Men’s Careers , Goals and Objectives can eat in time finding a mate 

Men Need to invest more time to build a social circle:  Whilst women can buy themselves into a social circle with tits and ass men need to contribute more than just their looks in order to get into a decent social circle. A male 10 is still going to have a far tougher time building friendships and networking opportunities than a female 10 especially at a young age. Take an 18-21 year old male 10 and compare him to the opportunities a female 18-21 year old ten will have the differences are absolutely night and day. Men need to prove so much more in order to get into a social circle whereas fertile women will basically be given free rein on where they wish entirely due to their fertility .  

Even from a Pua and dating perspective if you want better wingmen you’re going to have to put yourself out there. That’s going to take time, the amount of time you will spend with failed wingmen and social circles also needs to be taken into account too. For me personally the first 5-6 wingmen I had didn’t match with my vibe and I had to spend the first 6-8 months of my day-game career switching from wing to wing. 

Men need to Invest more time on self improvement on dates to prove themselves to women:  Of course once women sprout huge tits they’ll have people dming to fly them out , famous people after them and so and so forth. For men our value proposition especially when we are young is extremely sparse in comparison to women.  Different men obviously need to spend different amounts of time to improve themselves. For some men this could involve spending a large period of time to improve themselves to reach the necessary mates they desire. For example if you’re broke then dating in an expensive city like London or New York will be incredibly stressful as dating here will obviously cost a considerable amount of money so men in a position of financial difficulty may want to spend some time building up their income first before committing to  daytime in a expensive  city.  These men might just want to go to cities were finances aren’t as important places like China Vietnam or Latin America where the competition of men is considerably poorer and economically not well off. 

Even well off men do need to develop some form of personality, vibe , social skills and work ethic in terms of dating.  It can take time to develop sexual market value and dynamism and requires a lot of hard work and patience. For me when I started day-game my inexperience at life in general was a big thing for me . I found it hard to maintain conversation with people  especially those from different cultures to mine . Growing up in London and spending the bulk of my time in the UK ,France or America it was very difficult for me to converse well with women from Asia for example because I had no experience living in those countries .  For me I needed time to read books, acquire languages / something so I could build rapport with said women and that took time. There was no “rapid escalation” blueprint sometimes SMV is a necessity to build trust with women. 

Opportunities to take advantage of SMV for men may dwindle with time:  For men even being top of the game and the highest value -we are all getting older, our bodies will deteriorate through time  and we don’t have forever. Combine this with the decision fatigue when you’re dating a lot of women and it can be hard to settle down and build a family.  The lesson to be learnt from this? The younger you are the better to start to commit to dating people regularly. Things take time and there will be one day which you yourself are out of time. Make sure you work hard and persist early on so you don’t have regrets later on. 

When is it too late though? For both men and women the brutal reality is we can’t be top of the game forever. There may come a time when our value diminishes and we can’t attract premium partners. We need to keep this in mind going forward or else some opportunities maybe gone forever . For me personally the black pill and red pill makes men prone to thinking they have all the time in the world , that one day women are over the hill their value is gone forever but men’s maintains . While I believe this is true In theory I also believe that there comes a time when men will stagnate and diminish too and they need to be aware of this if they’re procrastinating on their dating goals. 

Disclaimer: Im not a coach and don’t offer any coaching/mentoring services but for those looking to Network and live in any of the 4 cities I live in : London, San Fransisco , Dubai or Nice (France) feel free to email me at: darrenpua1@gmail.com please no podcast requests or YouTube media.

For young people entering the sexual market place improving SMV is a tough task even at the best of times that’s why I wrote this guide to how to improve men’s sexual market place value so that men can improve their results. One glaring problem when I started out was my lack of life experience really showed as I had nothing to talk about . I was literally one of the most boring human beings on the planet at the time, why was this? Partly because I didn’t value education , self development and nutrition but also because I simply didn’t make any active effort to show maturity in my life. Something that in hyper competitive environments like London is pretty much a necessity if you want to move up in the brutal sexual market place here. You need to have some personality, you need to be dynamic to a degree because interacting with women around the world some races will require more than negs to hook. 

The important thing to note is all these things do TAKE Time and lots of it. They will drain you of your mental energy- but will be worth it in the long term. Staying committed to these ideas over months and years can really enhance your day-game but will take time to implement.

• Learn a language- When I started my day-game journey I found interacting with non English speaking girls pretty tricky so I adapted to the situation by learning difficult languages- I hired a coach- someone to teach me Chinese which is pretty easy to do now from Italki or Superprof , from then on after speaking fluent Chinese it made interactions more interesting as Chinese speaking women would open to me more and it created more trust in interactions. As I analysed during my time working in sales the best sales people are usually polyglots. From learning Chinese my confidence grew to learning Cantonese, Japanese and Korean – so from the time of writing I have learnt 4 languages in the space of 2 years and plan to learn a further 6 as a long term goal. It enabled me to have deeper interactions and showed my maturity early on in interactions and instantly separated me from a dumbass Oxford Street Pua. Of course it takes time, but anything that has significance in improving your sexual market value will of course take time. Its just inevitable like most things on this list aside from fashion.  Learning languages also made my time on the streets more productive as I got to improve my language skills whilst picking up girls which all in all made it a better use of my time. 
• Get better Wingmen- As I wrote in my previous daygame guides wingmen will help foster more trust as long as those wingmen are of high value to you and articulate themselves well in interactions. Most guys think they can go through this process on their own and yes you can get results this way but in terms of building a social circle and achieving something of importance good wingmen are a necessity . Having good wingmen will reduce flakes, build trust, reduce your workload etc. There are endless benefits.  This perhaps takes the longest out of all the methods I’ve shown. Finding reliable people takes a tonne of time but will save you on your mental energy . I’ve found wingmen extremely helpful in terms of my motivation and in creating a social circle that women can enjoy . Too many day gamers start off thinking they can do it all by themselves and this can lead to huge burn outs from trying too hard. Believe me its better when you’re with a tribe and people who have common interests to you. Being in good social circles also improves your SMV – remember really and truly no woman wants to be with a lone wolf man.  
• Be prepared for all forms of Social Media for the race/ethnicity of girls that you like to hook up with. Build a strong social media profile on all the various major platforms , have great pictures and continuously  market yourself to the best you can be. I wrote on my social media guide how important this is and I continue to stress it. Its literally a vital necessity in todays world and you should act – For example if you’re into middle eastern women snapchat is a very popular social media app in a lot of these countries so having a snapchat may help you to build rapport . If you’re into Chinese/Taiwanese/Chinese Malays having a good WeChat profile can help. If you’re into Koreans then K-talk can be seen a necessity . Of course for most women instagram is the best and most popular strategy as it’s by far most popular app around and always make sure you have a strong Facebook too. Not having good social media may mean that closing will become a bit trickier as most women will prefer to give their socials away rather than their personal phone numbers. 
• Be more mindful in interactions. This may seem bizarre thing to write on the face of it but being more mindful and practicing mindfulness can help your vibe which in-turn over the course of several 100 daygame interactions should improve your results. Of course learning proper mediation is a skillset which will indeed take time but having a daily meditation practice will over time to make you have more meaningful daytime interactions. 
• Read or at least consistently listen to Audio Books. Again its not hard, try as best as you can be to not be one dimensional the more shit you know the easier it will be to hook women from different races and create some sort of interesting and impactful conversation. Its not hard or expensive to do this, audible has audio books that can be purchased in bundle for £18 for 3 , listening to these consistently is just an easy way to make you more dynamic without needing to work hard. Again target topics of the women you’re into, into fitness? Read as many varying viewpoints of health and nutrition as you can. Love women who are into politics and history? Try and broaden your horizons by listening to different history books. This may look weird to suggest but to hook and have longer more impactful sets increasing your general knowledge can help . An issue with alot of younger guys starting off in daygame is they don’t have enough life experience and run out of things to say. That being said you don’t want your interactions to stray too deep into a women’s interests – be sure to keep the conversations sexual to a degree or you’ll risk being friend zoned
• Gain Muscle – Lose body fat- Im a pretty scrawny dude but I try and hit the gym as much as possible – its one of my sticking points so I don’t think I should really be giving people advice on this but I will nonetheless. More muscle will help garner respect and will simply make you more attractive. You want to make the best impact in interactions looking your best and fittest self is vital this along with good dress is probably one of the easiest things to fix. 
• Travel Lots- Travel Often, go to countries that scare you , don’t just do predictable shit like getting drunk in Magaluf do some meaningful travel and take risks in places other people don’t normally go to. This will make you a lot more interesting and dynamic.  I spent alot of time traveling to countries that were against the norm, like Tajikistan, Saudi Arabia, Uzbekistan, Kazakstan. This made dates a lot more interesting as I was able to hook girls from showing exciting unique pictures from these places and showed I wasn’t just some average British chode who spent his summers getting drunk in Ibiza.  This will make you more interesting , make your dates more interesting in terms of conversation and make your emotional impact higher. You will find also that places people don’t usually go to are actually usually alot cheaper than the traditional British shitholes anyway. 
• Have a type? Then plan accordingly so that your interactions with set type of women go better. If youre into Chinese girls for example start taking Chinese lessons so you can hook them better in interactions and win trust quicker. If you’re into Arabic girls for example – travel to a Middle Eastern country , read history books of said country who’s women youre into. Its not that hard even, two audio books a month for a year and you’re going to have enough conversation points to at least hook most girls. Again if you’re young under the age of 25 you really should invest some serious time reading and listening to audio books. Especially if you’re reading this and you’re below age 21 Id actually spend serious time reading 20-30 books on history  , politics, health   etc. before you hit the streets , a common problem in young people is not enough subjects to talk about.  Nick Krausser for example read a lot of eastern european history books before his daygaming around Russia. The world is increasingly globalised and you’ll need to prepare for this adequately a lot of girls tend to open up more when you talk about subjects , hobbies and interests that interest them and you need to prepare for this. 
• Improve your dress. Probably the quickest way to improve your sexual market value is to improve your dress sense. Dating a girl who’d worked as a stylist really helped me in this regard . But make sure you spend at least some time getting 1-3 decent outfits. Poor dress can lead to blow outs and lower your chances with “maybe girls” so make sure you’re investing some time into bettering this. Make sure you choose an outfit that can show off your physical shape in the best way possible. 
• Sort out your mental problems in life- again this a broad general statement that’s somewhat vague advice at best but if you have mental blocks that are being caused by outside influences make sure you address them first before doing day-game interactions. If you underlying depression, or worries that need to be addressed first make sure you do something about them so your vibe won’t be dead during the interactions. Of course sometimes people can use “other problems” in their life as a barrier to taking proactive action and doing actually street approaches . So make sure you’re honest with yourself . If underlying worries or issues really are affecting your social interactions or not.