Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

During the 2013- 2019 Era TNL were dominating the dating sphere – Selling courses for $15k for 1 weeks dating course – the most expensive dating coaches in the world . Recently however they haven’t been doing so well . Several of their more prominent coaches: Liam McRae, Travel Bum, Jonathan Neil Thomson , Tony Solo all departed leaving behind not much to replace them other than Alex Leon who himself seemed to be a carbon copy of Liam McRae .  Now it’s just pretty much James and Alex Leon plus one female coach (whom i have no clue about hence i won’t be analysing here in this post . They used to be the talk of the town but what happened? 

Loss of Prominent Coaches 

Similar to RSD , Simple Pickup daygame.com and RSD – Prominent coaches seemed to slip away leaving lesser ones in their place. My example stems from the person whom I’d argue is most likely was TNL’s most popular coach Liam McRae leaving to free-up is private life. Again in my previous blog post on the decline of the men’s dating industry I made more examples similars to this:   

mindful-masculinity.org/2023/12/13/why-the-mens-pua-and-dating-self-development-scene-has-declined-so-much/

  Liam McRae was – in my eyes at least TNL’s biggest asset – he was by far the most relatable of the coaches in my eyes and losing him permanently was a big blow. Replacing him with Alex Leon was – in my eyes a good move. However the other new coach in Johnathan Neil Thomson in my eyes – not so much.  The guy had a weird aura In which he would almost tell you off while lecturing or making a video – his delivery was in such a tone that it reminded  me of being told off by my own father- furthermore looking at his instagram posts the captions appeared odd and he was often poorly dressed and looking like- well a bum. 

Here we have Jonathan Neil holding a guinea pig dressed in yellow – not exactly showing the aura of confidence or dress sense a man should have who’s attracting high tier women.

Exhibit A/B was TNL’s coach playing the ukelele on the beach dressed I what appears to be his underwear – hardly a great looking photo for a ex-dating coach of the most expensive dating company in the world , the photos don’t look convincing and to some degree look like a guy in his mid thirties who’s somewhat living the life of a bum . An early 20s musician you’d forgive this sort of behaviour but mid thirties doing this sort of shit? I don’t see it as much maturity or development more so a musician bum who shouldn’t be coaching one of the most expensive dating companies in the world.

I sound harsh here but then there evidence of a conflict where he “lost his best friend” ( who used to be James Marshall ) and “job” this was during covid lockdown where John Neil Thomsen worked for TNL prior to covid occurring . Showing at least some proof of internal conflict  was clearly going on and with John no longer following James Marshall or the other TNL members on instagram it was clear that there were some serious friction behind the scene. A few years before this James Marshall had some conflict with another member Travel Bum with financial issues.

This situation could be compared to Simple Pickup which saw conflicts between three so called best friends , Tom Torero / Nick Krausser’s conflicts and the many conflicts that ran the course of RSD .

This was a bit damming to James having to deal with unreliable coaches in John Neil Thomsen and Travel Bum- but looking at Jonathan’s posts its quite clear from my opinion   he’d mentally lost the plot and wasn’t a reliable coach. He never seemed to take any accountability for his actions . Anyone who looks to self help books to justify meaning in their life is clearly a concern in my eyes. This can usually draw a sense of delusion or lack of responsibility- in John’s case when it was found out to be causing a ruckus from the inside of his best friend’s business he justified his bad behaviour by what was written in a random self book that’s usually designed to lure dumb people in to buying their shitty viewpoints.

This seems to be a random assortment of words with little clear defined meaning. Words like “Disconnecting” “healing” “unexpectedly cut the cord” when it was clear he was the one causing internal conflicts and with some potential proof showing that he was overly aggravating towards students . Instead of taking some responsibility for his broken down friendship with James he seems to wallow in self help word salad something which a lot of dating coaches seem to do over time akin to maybe Sasha Daygame or Shae Matthews – this makes them appear insightful when in reality what they are doing/saying isn’t offering anything unique .

Shae Matthews – My problem with Shae is that he was also a very spiritual guided coach who seemed to offer – well nothing. When you scratch beneath the service as a TNL coach he often blap excessively and not offer much value he also has no infield himself which is a concern. Although he offered some insight into his love life in the “Tinder Seduction stories” book written by Liam McRae. It was just often him taking advantage of the fact he was an Australian in the developing country of Bosnia fucking girls who were often far less well off socio economically …and that’s just about it really . Not saying this is the wrong thing to do but bar this and his appearances on TNL podcasts were he reproduces and re-shills self help ideas like “take responsibility for you actions” he’s not really offering much unique insight on the table to the point where you think what is the point of him? And in TNL training he’s often giving mediation classes- hardly work $15k a week to approach a few girls and meditate for a while.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNk0viT-8gA&t=404s

Again from this video i see him as a half assed yoga coach mixed in with a lot of word salad/ spiritual guru nonsense . Sounding akin to the Buddhist that wants to be a PUA coach . I think these students would be far better off doing 10 minutes of mediation at home and binge listening to Tom Torero’s seduction podcasts than listening to this. The fact that this video also has less views that any of the other ones made by TNL in the last year or so is also pretty telling he just isn’t viewed by the mainstream as as valuable an asset as James.

Are PUA companies even sustainable? : 

My argument in my previous blog post was a resounding no due to the high rate of coaches retiring. In TNL despite the company selling $15k courses the money or profits weren’t able to sustain the business model. Like many of the new self industry models it required the continuous selling of high ticket high profit margin . But how could they sustain this over 10-20 years ? What’s the justification of a $15k programme where you approach women for a whole week while meditating . What is James Marshall going to do that’s so damn awesome – my feelings are not really aligned with the price point of whatever he’s selling or trying to sell. Oh shit I used the word “aligned” guess I am a spiritual guru now.

For most new people in PUA time spent finding wingmen will probably yield better results than investment in any dating coaches. They don’t need spiritual gurus like Shae Matthews or to pay for high ticket coaching when the reality of approaching and dating Is clear – during my time doing daygame roughly 0.8 percent of my approaches would actually end in lays. Improving your value, your dress sense etc. probably could boost that figure up to 1-3 percent but regardless of how many high ticket sales you buy or whichever coach you get its unlikely to make a huge impact on these figures- the bulk of men will still say 0.5 to 3 percent of every 100 approaches they do converting to lays . That $10k you want to spend on a programme – just commit to finding wingmen for free + buy better clothes maybe invest in yourself so your SMV is higher- travel , take language lessons etc. . You don’t really need the coaching , spirituality and mediation if you need that its all free and available on the internet- you don’t need to pay Shae Matthews $15k for a “ spiritual”  speeches mixed in with some approaches or for James Marshall’s mentorship who’s heart just doesn’t seem in it anymore in my eyes .

Most PUA Companies lose their best assets through time 

I mean look at simple pickup – lots of infighting let to Jason leaving , followed by Kong and then Kong took Jason’s girl .  RSD- A lot of infighting between coaches too, 21 convention whilst not a “pua company”  per say also got harmed with the fall out between Rollo Tommasi and Anthony Johnson  – Here TNL has followed a similar line of events with a betrayal by Travel Bum on James Marshall leading to his departure . James Marshall having a big feud with his best friend Johnathan which led to him leaving the company although I argue the likes of Tony Solo and Liam McRae were bigger misses (which weren’t due to conflicts per say just these two wanting to do other things with their life)   Again to repeat my initial point the majority of Simple Pickup wanted out after the company got it’s first successes and the same could be said for RSD after the business model seemingly evaporated.

James Marshall – Losing passion per say in teaching? 

Now im not a John Anthony fan but I believe he’s right in saying that James Marshall’s daygame appears off on some occasions – I’d say that James lacks some degree of passion when he approaches women and it comes across as quite lazy ( however i’ve noticed a lot of improvements in his infield recently) nowadays judging by his body language and tonality it seems that he’s somewhat lost his passion.

He also admitted to being near retiring in 2019 which seems to be a ploy to glean sales rather than any legitimate reasoning rather than  actually wanting to retire . It seems almost impossible for him to do so now without the company faltering as it’s just him and Alex Leon left and one other female coach whom I don’t know at all so won’t comment on. 

Looking at this screenshot from James Marshall’s website its clear that sales aren’t what they used to be and interest has dropped -significantly maybe this is the end of the road of dating high ticket sales? Or do Shae Matthews and James have enough about them to trigger more sales for the company – maybe their characters and personality don’t have the mass mainstream appeal anymore like they did. It’s also worth to note that there seems to be no more Euro tour which was was a 10 day dating bootcamp with many coaches included the likes of Gareth Jones, Sasha Daygame, Liam Mcrae etc. Nowadays it seems to be just Shae or Alex.

Again it brings back to the point how unsustainable pua coaching is when its top earner James Marshall wants out- or maybe there wasn’t much to begin with we were in sort of a “bull run “ of pua in 2011-2018 which I’d argue peaked in 2016 . James was able to sell a significant amount of coaching courses this time enough to seemingly buy a luxury villa in Portugal and a flat in Budapest along with some bitcoin.  But now looking at his website come June the 2nd 2024  it seems that his courses aren’t selling as well. What happened? Are people giving up hope on pua? Has the crusade against men which cost Tom Torero his life harmed other companies too simultaneously by making men too shy to approach? Or has covid / inflation leading to less disposable income fucked up men’s desire to invest in high ticket coaches or are men sick and tired of being sold dating course and online marketing for something which has such a high failure rate. 

James Marshall is still the best speech maker of the PUA industry  

I am still a massive James Marshall fan i dont want to take anything away from the guy even though this blog post could be interpreted as a unfair critique of him – I just think he’s run out of momentum , he made several incredible speeches on the 21 convention that surpassed most others in the field. Heck in the James Marshall v John Anthony debate even the biggest John Anthony fan could say that James Marshall’s speeches dicked all over his. I see him as a more mature version of the Tom Torero and Nick Krausser’s of this world. But I also feel his mysterious marketing as a sort of spiritual guru maybe was unsustainable long term. His team is not quite what it was- and may never be quite the same again as I don’t see any good new coaches coming through the pipeline if anything I’ve seen a shift towards more online dating coaching and “lifestyle coaching” whatever that is.  He profited well from making the best seduction speeches at the 21 convention but maybe lacked the passion and desire to make the business further . Maybe having a dating coach like Alex Leon who despite his incredible amplitude for social circle game seemed like a short sited pick as social circle game really isn’t relatable for the majority of dating clients as they don’t have the time to prance around in the Maldives taking photos with bikini models. In fact James Marshall’s lifestyle in general is unrelatable to the majority of men. He met his first wife in Ukraine in 2008 and was one of the first to do daygame there- he enjoyed great success but im pretty sure many 7/10 men in Ukraine would do very well in 2008 before online dating  apps entered the fold. He spent the bulk of his time in eastern europe exploiting his relatively high smv in the area and never lived for prolong periods in expensive cities like London or even Australia – maybe he was tired of the competition

There’s still some examples of infield of his where i think he’s better than even people whom i rate higher as coaches such as Tom Torero – For example here:

and there’s the penultimate approach in this video here:

Both are examples of very good day game in eyes (for whats that’s worth) I feel the John Anthony was quite selective of his criticism of James and was just critiquing a few approaches of James and of his students of course with the failure rate of daygame and the fact that most approaches end in failure critiquing one coach for having a couple of approaches that end in failure itself seems a bit ridiculous . Even John himself has admitted to having a 1 in 10 close rate from phone numbers acquired how you gonna then criticise a coach for having a few bad cold approaches and then critique his student who’s just started cold approaching?

Moving To the Third World to Take advantage of SMV

James has said before in interviews that he thought Australia was overly competitive .  But his ideas area similar to that of my other favourite coaches- namely Tom Torero , Nick Krausser and Yad who all spent significant time in Eastern Europe albeit these three didn’t have large team like James Marshall did. I still believe he was more impactful from his 21 convention speeches than anything and that this was what was pivotal in him gaining popularity. I still feel perhaps he made poor choices in terms of coaches – namely John Thomsen his ex best friend who as I mentioned before always came across as an aggressive control freaking –  lunatic who places the ukulele and seems express  his mental illness on instagram – not a great choice for a coach, even the best coaches on his team now namely Alex Leon to some degree isn’t relatable to the 30-50 years working their 9-5s and wanting to just to date a half decent chick i don’t know how capable these men are of spending their time photographing models in the Maldives   . But it could be argued that Shae Matthews and even Tony Solo who again seemed to be another mentally intense spiritual guy had their problems. Shae doesn’t seem much different from 5-6 years ago -still yapping and still peddling the same spiritual bullshit- Tony got married and retired but again in his videos he seemed to over complicate things and yap on consistently. It seemed these individuals would speak to seem deep but scratch beneath the surface there was not much unique insight that couldn’t already be learnt 

Is charging $15k for dating coaching morally wrong ? 

I mean this is a topic of discussion which  I wish people would understand about dating coaches – they are not miracle men – they can’t hide a lack of SMV in their clients. Heck even James Marshall talked about in his last chapter of a book that looks were an important factor towards attraction and how his short clients (short as in not tall )would often struggle. Pua and daygame results merely reflect a man’s smv and value they bring- it can cover up some flaws short term but long term it requires work and dedication most of which needs to be done outside of coaching. I feel James Marshall got lucky making so much money out of his clients that he did and given the clients infield the results seem pretty mediocre ( not saying I am any better or could be any better of a coach im just saying it doesn’t strike me for value for money) A lot of the self industry itself just wants to sell high ticket sales with products that really aren’t worth it under no real justification just simply that “this is worth it for the transformation it will bring you” With most of their rich clients just paying for the most expensive coaching thinking the most expensive correlates to the best results which is not often the case and given James Marshall appears to not have as much passion as he usually does it may be seen as a waste of money. 

PUA has Ran out of gas 

If a multi – million dollar company in terms of Simple Pickup and RSD were going to run out of gas then it’s inevitable TNL were – eventually . Pick Up artist forums with the exception of SoSauve are dead- the most proactive individuals in the space are seemingly wiped off the face of it. Between the 2021-2023 era it was hard to even find people in the space that were going out regularly. Most men on the dating WhatsApp groups/Telegram gave up or turned their attention to tinder which was a lot easier to manage. I’d think if online dating didn’t exist the likes of TNL would be far more profitable as people were pushed into action more. Instead men have dilly dallied – in most cases doing neither online or cold approach but rather moving towards the red pill and absorbing as much of Rollo Tommasi as possible whilst venting about how much better “things were back in the day” It seems this new paradigm shift has forced men into well- doing nothing. Yad’s retirement, Simple Pickup’s ending,  RSD’s failings and now TNL’s can be seen as examples of a crumbling industry that has little left in the tank. Can it make a comeback? I doubt it  as there simply aren’t enough mature people doing it regularly that are setting a good example. The passion doesn’t seem to be there anymore – it seems to have been lost either by an overstimulation of red pill content, fear from the mainstream media and the attribute that men have lower testosterone now and are a lot more beta as a result performing less proactive action. 

Self Help Businessmen All Built the same way 

Once you hang around self help businessmen for a while you realise a lot of them are cut from the same cloth with not much preparatory about them – Sasha Daygame, Tom Torero, James Marshall , Simple pickup, numerous RSD members were all selling courses some of which was their low ticket item like a book , then it developed to training videos and then there was one level beyond that which was the actual in person coaching . They all followed similar business formats – James was no different with his Marshall Meditation method series (which i myself have purchased) who’s mediation tapes were not much different from your regular run of the mill Youtube 10 minute meditation videos.

Conclusions: 

• TNL lost a good quantity of its best coaches and was unable to replace them 
• TNL went down the similar route of Simple Pickup,Rsd, daygame.com with internal conflicts/ men’s PUA community movements crumbling harming  their internal progress and causing the business to dry up or their products to be weaker in quality. Also the loss of key coaches may make their coaching products less desirable (possibly) . 
• TNL proved the high sales ticket model was only sustianable for so long 
• James Marshall’s speeches at the 21 convention whilst amazing weren’t sustainable to maintain his business past 10 years. Whilst he had an amazing run its clear looking at his website and the lack fo coaches participating on his courses that sales have dried up . 

Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

These are some new dating spots I’ve found in London updated for March 2024 – This guide includes new spots that I was unable to write about in my previous ones simply because I hadn’t discovered them- for a more detailed look at areas to date around London please be redirected to the other guides you can find on my blog – they are more detailed and interesting – this is simply an update adding new locations from 2024 . A lot of these date locations have multiple date locations within them so I am not going to go into each and every one because  a lot of them are simple coffee shops or places for a bite to eat you don’t need me to yarp on about them in much detail just make sure you plan 2-3 locations on the date as I mentioned before you want to keep moving always during your dates and keep the ideas innovative – exciting and fresh.  

London- Victoria: 

Koub – 

 Located at: 3 Elizabeth St, London SW1W 9RP

Open from 9-6pm this is a tranquil coffee place located in the heart of Victoria. Roughly 3 minutes away from additional bars it’s the perfect location to start a date in an active part of London – also good for an instant date if you’re approaching nearby. There’s lots of space inside this coffee shop which makes it good for a relaxing date and isn’t as crowded as other coffee spots in Victoria. After this a quick bounce to a nearby bar for drinks makes it a good 1-2 step dating location. 

Eccleston Yards- Victoria : 

21 Eccleston Pl, London SW1W 9NF

https://www.belgravialdn.com/eccleston-yards

This place is located around 10 minutes from Victoria station and is a fantastic date spot- several coffee shops located next to a few bars make it one of the ideal first date spot in London . Perfect for an easy convenient  bounce after the first date is up there are decent wine bars too in this vicinity and even a good restaurant /bar wild by tart for a third date location. It’s also not too packed and busy like the Soho date spots – so you can still enjoy intimacy and explore decent quality places without having the pressure of the big crowds ruining your date. 

Battersea Powerstation – 

Circus Rd W, Nine Elms, London SW11 8DD

https://batterseapowerstation.co.uk/

This new – revamped mall in Battersea is the perfect place to coordinate a series of dates within a small circumference area. You can start with coffee dates in the mall then move forward to any of a number of bars in located next to the shopping mall. 

Market Halls – Bond Street: 

If you are looking for a date location near Oxford street- you can’t go wrong with a bite to eat at market halls which has several spots inside it that serve alcohol and coffee too. Great new place to take a girl on a first date however I’d avoid it during weekends as it can get super crowded with people especially sports fans. Best to go on a weekday usually. 

191 Victoria St London SW1E 5NE

Regent Street Central London : 

WatchHouse Hanover : 

Nice new coffee shop located in : 2-3, Medici Court, London W1S 1BR – very cozy  area open from 7:30am 6 pm on the weekdays its a great place for an instant date in central London away from the hustle and bustle of places like Oxford street and Soho.  

St John’s Wood – North London  :

Good Life Eatery:

1 St John’s Wood High St, London NW8 7NGKingston Upon Thames- South West London  – Coffee shop located near ST John Wood’s station , this area is close to the hustle and bustle of London yet is relatively quiet – good for short works and hoping from different date locations- on this road there are a few restaurants and bars . 

Kingston Upon Thames – South West London 

Again when arranging dates with women who live around the Wimbledon area Kingston Up thames could be a good location for a date. 

Beanberry Coffee Company- Located in 30B Fife Rd, Kingston upon Thames KT1 1SZ.  Probably the best Coffee shop in Kingston – perfect for grabbing a coffee then going for a walk to another date location . 

Hache Brassire – Unit 5 Riverside Walk, Kingston upon Thames KT1 1QN

 – Located near the Thames River – good place to grab a cocktail in Kingston . 

Megan’s Kingston – The Griffin Centre, 2 Market Pl, Kingston upon Thames KT1 1JT

Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products – this is simply a blog recording my personal experiences in these countries. Im often based in London/Nice/ San Fransisco so if you live in these places feel free to hit me up: darrenpua1@gmail.com

Important preparation before your trip: 

• Have an instagram and WhatsApp ready for closing women in Hong Kong and Macau. Make sure you have great photos on both of these- for more information on maximising your social media check out my social media guide: The majority of Hong Kongers tend to use Instagram  more than WeChat . 
• For mainland China and for  mainlander women in Macau and Hong Kong make sure you have a good WeChat profile with good photos . This is the preferred social media profile for most mainland Chinese women – a lot of them won’t have instagram or WhatsApp so make sure you adapt to your surroundings and prepare a good profile.  WeChat ids can be easily scanned making it quick and convenient way to get closes. 
• Download the app “Didi” for mainland China – this app is great to use for bouncing from location to location and offers cheap taxis relative to the UK prices of Uber. It can be essential to avoid wasting time going to daygame locations 
• Learn Chinese- obviously this isn’t plausible for most people reading this but understand something that caused a lot of blowouts and flakes was my lack of communication. Speaking the language of the women you’re attracted to will bring down blow outs significantly and not every girl you approach in China is going to speak good English. A decent grasp of Chinese is going to win you a lot more time to build rapport granted as I said before not everyone can do this but it is most definitely  be the most impactful thing if you want to genuinely improve your dating results . I went to China when I could not speak Chinese – now that I can I probably would face less blow outs on average and would probably be able to have more in depth sets and build more rapport. 

Advantages of Gaming In Mainland China : 

• Huge population and huge footflow in almost all major cities. Gives you a good chance of meeting a variety of women. 
• Low competition in terms of Chinese men- Chinese men are usually of low economic status due to the huge inequality in the country meaning as a Westerner there’s huge opportunity for you daygame wise. Also height and physique wise they are often lacking in that department as well compared to western men.  They are also relatively low confidence in comparison to men in the West so this is a very easy playing field to dominate if you work hard and approach consistently . 
• Taxis are very cheap- using the didi app makes it easier to bounce from place to place very easily and allows you to lead dates well  . 
• Dense population – high population density unlike most cities in the US there is a lot of opportunity here to approach a large amount of people in a small amount of time. This means you avoid seeing the same women repeatedly and allows for much more opportunities . Even the cities outside the major ones of Guangzhou, Shanghai and Beijing still have great footflow and population density. Not many Asian countries can boast this advantage as much as China can. 
• Cheaper to date- drinks ,food prices on average are much cheaper than the UK. 
• SMV requirements on average are lower than London. I found it much easier to date here than in my home town of London and found the women to be considerably less picky. 
• Day hotels are cheap- in Shanghai was able to find a decent day hotel for around £20 – if you’re on a strict budget you can daygame from hostel and just use a day hotel to get the lay done. Most major cities in china have a wide selection of day hotels (where you can rent a room for around 4 hours or so) which makes getting laid pretty easier and cheaper  in comparison to a lot of Western Countries. 

What to do in the Mainland: 

I’ve done daygame in the following cities in China : Chengdu, Chongqing , Guangzhou, Shanghai Nanjing , Suzhou, Guilin and Hangzhou. The main rules I follow: 

• Whatever major city you’re in find the most popular mall -that is what  usually brings it a large amount of foot flow. 
• Unlike in the UK the best quality women I found were in the high end hotel lobbies. For example when I was in Shanghai I gamed a lot at the intercontinental hotel . Simply put there were a lot of attractive women that went there and I found this to be a trend with almost all the high end hotels in Shanghai – there was a decent inflow of consistent hot women in contrast to London where the high end hotels would usually be empty.  
• Poorer cities are the trickier ones to game in as less women know English. This is pretty much a solid rule to follow when gaming in a foreign country- go to the richer cities – luckily with China there’s been a huge amount of economic growth in a lot of these cities which has resulted in a massive improvement of English education . Still the major cities of China the likes of Shanghai, Guangzhou and Beijing should provide the largest quality of English speakers and thus less “blow outs” so to speak.  However other cities like Chengdu ,Chongqing still have amazing foot flow and a decent quantity of people that speak English . The major issue is the small/ poor cities  for example Guilin where finding an English speaker was genuinely tough and a lot of interactions seemed to lead no where. 

Favourite Date Spots in China: 

On a budget: 

Chengdu/Chongqing – still have a vibrant student area in Chengdu with Sichuan university and a host of good nightlife. For daygaming there are tonnes of large malls and accommodation in both cities is relatively cheap coming to around 25 dollars a night sometimes less. 

More Pricey: 

Shanghai/Guangzhou – These were two of my favourite spots once again to the high foot flow but hotel rooms here are considerably more expensive averaging between 50-60 dollars a night for a decent hotel. Although the foot flow makes it worth it. There are also a decent crop of international tourists if Chinese women aren’t your thing but for most cities in China the major ethnicity will be Han Chinese. 

Good Daygame Spots : Shanghai: 

Intercontinental Hotel Pudong- 

K-11 Art Mall (these are located in Hong Kong,Guangzhou and in Shanghai and they are a really good place to take women for coffee dates as well as good for approaching women)

For Dates: 

https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g308272-d9974973-Reviews-Qimin_Organic_Hotpot_Marketplace_Reel-Shanghai.html  – good place for a second date if you’re looking for a good food date- most first dates I just recommend the K11 Art Mall Shanghai- it’s packed full of coffee shops and is really all you need to enjoy yourself. 

https://www.ihg.com/intercontinental/hotels/gb/en/shanghai/shgha/hoteldetail you don’t really need to even stay here to game here . But the foot flow is very decent. It’s best to game around most high end hotels in China as the quality is usually very high here. 

Chongqing: 

Hongya Cave this is literally the most packed part of Chongqing and constantly has footflow all the time. Very worth it for anyone who wants to take his daygame seriously in China. The footflow is consistent and the quality is good. Not too far from Chengdu too by train. (Like 2-3 hours or so) 

Chengdu: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sichuan_University Sichuan university campus is the largest university in Chengdu and has great foot flow . 

New Century Global Centre: One of the largest malls in the world 

Guangzhou: 

G.T Land Plaza 

Victory Plaza 

K11 Art Mall 

Macau: 

Macau is an easier place to ride a guide about – the route is simple just go to the main casino area to game – that’s about 90 percent of the foot flow.  The rest of the area I have no clue but a lot of the beaches came across as empty areas when I went in 2019 the tourist  The Venetian Macao has a huge inflow of  mainly Chinese tourists and really is a never ending area of options in regards to game .The historic centre of Macau and Senado square are also good daygame spots.  Since I visited in 2019 a lot of businesses have gone bust due to the excessive covid lockdowns so what I write may not necessarily be relevant to anyone doing daygame in 2024.  

There are drawbacks to Macau mainly the fact that the hotels are considerably expensive in comparison to mainland China  but overall its a wonderful place to do daygame in full of quick eats and coffee shops – 

Night-game in Macau is quite competitive with a lot of prostitutes coming in from Cambodia, Philippines and Indonesia so be careful if you see women eying you up in clubs they could well be  sex workers rather than legitimate women interested in you. Over all I had no success during my one  night game session in Macau mainly because no woman was interested in me and the majority of women in the club were just prostitutes to begin with .

Hong Kong – Hong Kong has one main considerable advantage over Mainland China in that the the about of English speakers per square mile is considerably higher than almost any China city. It also has a lot of expats and people of European origin if gaming Europeans isn’t exactly your thing.  The caveat? It’s a small city relative to the ones in Mainland China and you could find yourself running into the same women pretty quickly- for those who live in Hong Kong an hour train ride into Shenzen or Guangzhou is recommended just to have the opportunity to access more footfall- and on average more demanding women  

Areas to Date around Hong Kong: 

Ozone – The Ritz Carlton Hong Kong – Great bar/fantastic views

Daygame Areas- 

K-11 Art Mall – again like the other K11s in Shanghai and Guangzhou this mall is usually packed and has a lot of decent foot flow most days

Warning for online dating in Hong Kong there are a lot of trannies on the apps so be extra careful if that isn’t your thing. 

My Experiences dating in China/Hong Kong Macau – 

Culturally I found things different from China and Hong Kong – I know these nations are seen as “the same “ but culturally I found Hong Kongers a fair bit more conservative and not that keen on just hooking up. Having dated Hong Kongers in London I found it tricky to seduce them compared to mainlanders who seemed to be less worried about being “slut shamed” so to speak. Still it was an interesting experience nonetheless gaming in Hong Kong the city is small and its easy to get around and open up conversations. I dated one very sweet girl who even paid for my meal before my flight back home but upon taking her to my apartment she wouldn’t come in at the door. It was unfortunate but you get these sorta  misses in daygame.  ( Bear in mind I was in Hong Kong only 3 days so again I couldn’t give  a big enough volume of sets to draw a conclusion by contrast I was in mainland China for around 3 weeks ) 

Macau was interesting but I was only there for 1 day so not enough time to convert the numbers I obtained , but the women were sweet . One asked for a photo with me after I gave her a compliment and she asked for my WeChat too and even posted a photo of us on WeChat. The foot flow was good and consistent but again I needed more time than one day and can’t really analyse things based off one day of game you need minimum 7-10 days in a city in order to get a good grasp of the situation. One good thing about Macau is a lot of Chinese tourists will often come for the weekend and short stays so if you’re living there you don’t have to worry about the footflow drying up. 

Mainland China is obviously huge and the cities are massive and are very developed . It was one of the few countries where  we got actual attention from women approaching us – albeit very seldom but still this never happened to me in Europe or America at all so it was a nice feeling. In Shanghai I was able to accumulate a good amount of dates in a short period of time purely from daygame around 6 in two weeks much higher than my London average of one every two weeks. My productivity from daygame in China was roughly 300-400 percent higher on average than London. I definitely felt a lot more appreciated there and the dates were a lot easier to manage. I’d say my one regret was not making more effort to pay for and look after the women I was dating. I should’ve been a little bit more generous to the women I was dating there – nonetheless they were affectionate   and a lot kinder than London women on average . You still need to make the effort to approach, you still need conversation skills , you still need to look after your appearance – all these are important factors towards dating and just because you have an SMV advantage in a certain city you still to make action.  Women will still flake and dates can still go wrong you need to keep going regardless of what environment you’re in. 

Overall I’d recommend dating in China , cheaper accommodation , easier to get around with didi and incredible shopping malls in most major cities means you won’t get bored of decent places to date. Foot Flow wise it dominates the US and the major British  cities with higher foot flow and much higher quality which from my experience tend to be less entitled and bitchy . It’s important in your dating life to experience new cities and possibilities of improving your results- with China you have the option of 10-15 great cities full of attractive women to seduce – it’s definitely one that’s worth it on any day gamers radar. 

Disclaimer: I am not a coach and I am not selling any dating products or services – I am simply a relationship blogger based in London but spend the bulk of my time in London and South of France/Cannes area or San Fransisco/Dallas if you are based in any of these areas feel free to network by emailing me at darrenpua1@gmail.com

My dating life changed a lot for the better around late 2017 when I started daygame- however I wasted an immaculate amount of time  in my dating life not doing the thirteen following things which really koed my dating life and set me back a lot . 

• Delaying finding good wingmen: I began my daygame journey around 2018 after graduating university  in 2014 . During this time I was immensely shy when it came to networking with other wingmen who could push me to the next level and help my daygame. It was essential for finding some people on the same path as me as none of my school or university friends had any interest in daygame . For me I felt isolated and needed a new group around me and was very scared of making new friends as I felt that daygame was creepy – or that daygamers themselves were “incels” and “freaks” . Finally three years later after my first pua pickup meet-up  in mid 2014  I met loads of people on Pua forums in real life and the now defunct simple pickup forum and eventually my daygame skills improved. I believe surrounding myself with like minded individuals was key to my progress as a better daygamer and I had I not found likeminded wingmen I’d probably have had a fraction of the success that I did have. 

• Playing “Too hard to get” or trying to copy “players” and “chads” . The rare occasions women were into me I wasn’t proactive enough. I had some opportunities with women who were beautiful which I didn’t capitalise on because I was too used to rejection or I tried to be a laid back “make them chase you” sort of guy which wasn’t a good idea. Eventually women took this as me being disinterested and they subsequently lost interest in me and once a woman loses interest in you its very hard to regain it.  Make sure when someone is interested in you you show them respect and work hard to date them well and create a romantic experience otherwise you may end up missing out on good experiences due to your own lack of effort . 

• Not being proactive and working hard enough to approach more – I was born and raised  in London which is a city  full of women  and I didn’t really capitalise this until my late 20s . So from the day I was born till age 26 I didn’t work hard  at all  to integrate in the mad city I was in both in terms of finding wingmen and meeting women . This was a pretty wasted opportunity and Im sure there are many men reading this that also feel that they’re wasting good opportunities go out there and make the best of life now don’t wait and procrastinate as time is of the essence. Being in a good position and having high smv isn’t enough- being proactive and using 

• Consuming too much porn, alcohol ,fast food- this was a big problem when I moved to university at 18. I wasn’t looking after myself or my testosterone levels and my health this resulted in huge health and mental  problems that were difficult to eradicate when I was at university . Porn addiction itself ruined the lust for real women and caused me to be disinterested in some attractive women that were into me this pretty much prolonged the maintenance of my virginity as I was unable to capitalise on some rare occasions when women at university were actually into me- it also caused me to be very lazy in terms of approaching and being proactive  .  Alcohol was another big problem which caused erectile  dysfunction for me on the occasions which I was successful at night game . It also disrupted my sleep and – particularly wheat based alcohols like beer are associated with diminishing testosterone.  Fast-food and general unhealthy living resulted in poor mood and demotivation for me – I found that once I cut out all the junk I had greater mental clarity and more self awareness. 

• Letting one off bad social situations stick with me for long periods of time. This was a big one for me that damaged my social skills at school and my social development university. Whenever I had a rejection I took it incredibly personally for weeks on end . Whenever I had an awkward social setting I also took it very personally for example in university I joined one club which wasn’t very enjoyable and as a result I decided to join any more clubs as a result for two years letting a one off situation really affect me for a prolonged period of time. If you have a shit social interaction – move on if you have a shitty or awkward social event move on and maintain your activity don’t let the failures get to you. Of course as humans rejection and failure hurts so its normal to feel stressed or unappreciated just make sure you bounce back – getting hardworking wingmen who are persistent and work hard is the easiest way to help bounce back from the mental strain of failure. 

• Not reading and learning enough in my teens and early twenties- I started my daygame journey around age 20 after watching Simple Pickup videos after that I did a hell of a lot of night game when I was better off really doing daygame as that got me less flakes. Even so I didn’t really read or have enough value to converse with women  outside the club as well as I spent my years between 13-18 doing very little. My bad habits of the past had caught up with me and It made making conversation with women tough for me in my early 20s luckily as I ramped up life experience and did more interesting things this became less of a problem. 

• Not switching to daygame earlier enough. Compared to online and night game daygame had by far the least amount of flakes . For me when I was in my early 20s and late teen years daygame was just too much of a big jump for me psychologically- I wasted a lot of time approaching the same women in night game at university which ultimately took a toll on my health and lead to a lot of flakes and very little results. I was entirely dependant on a very small social circle for my success which was suffocating as none of the women in said social circle were into me. Daygame was freedom and independence from this claustrophobic environment  that is online and night game . It was also a lot better for my mental and emotional wellbeing than night game and online game was . 

• Not being self aware of other cultures and countries. I had it  pretty bad growing up in London and Nice/Cannes  in the South of France – despite the luxuries of these places it made for a fiercely competitive dating market and I suffered badly when I was young . I felt overwhelmed by the competition in my teen years and always felt left out of social events. I went to a private school with a lot of talented sporty men from wealthy families which left me feeling excluded.  This exclusion led to a huge loss of confidence in me. Had I traveled earlier to different countries where my SMV would be more respected perhaps I’d had gained more confidence and better relationships early on and wouldn’t have lived such a lonely life in my early twenties in a competitive city like London – of course the other big contributing  factor  in my hobbies was my lack of hobbies/ interests/ self awareness and poor fitness which  too caused the lack of interest from other women to begin with . 

• Not going to the gym earlier – I was a very thin and scrawny dude back in my early teens – compared to now I still am relatively scrawny compared to most but I’ve at least put on a decent amount of muscle since my early teens and look somewhat decently attractive compared to my horror show in my early teens. 

• Obsessing over certain day game coaches for no real reason. This was a big problem of mine as my emotional maturity and critical thinking skills were very much woeful . I would idolise coaches like the Simple Pickup crew or Rollo Tomassi without really analysing what was good or bad about them. There’s positives and negatives about every coach out there. But you should never really “idolise” anyone coach based on their dating philosophies. It ended up turning me into an arrogant dick who’d just shill the same rehashed information without really thinking about it properly. Don’t be afraid of criticising your dating coach or the people you idolise. Its your job to think critically and analytically in all aspects of your life in particularly dating – you should develop your own philosophies based on your dating objectives and your own experiences and not purely be reliant on a coach to shill you their’s because often they’re trying to sell you a product or service which may not be sufficient for you or maybe entirely irrelevant for your dating purposes. 

• Not looking after the way I dress. With dress there’s no excuses you need to dress well its one of the quickest ways to boost your SMV . Remember fashion is one of the biggest first  impressions you make on people so make sure you have well fitting clothes – of course you’ll need a good physique and not to be fat.  When I was at university women used to mock my dress- it was a real turn off – at school I thought nice clothes were for rich suckers. Looking back I really regret this , had I dressed a little bit better maybe at university and high school I’d have had a few more opportunities. 

• Being a selfish networker- When I started daygame I was a very selfish individual not looking out for my wingmen’s needs .Make sure when you do daygame you help your wingmen in set- be a good person to the dating community – Ive been a relationship two years now but I still just write a free blog to give back to what’s left for the community. I see it important to give back because there were a lot of people who helped me starting out . Read the wingmanning guide here where all my tips are listed in regards to being a good wingman :  https://mindful-masculinity.org/2020/10/17/the-importance-of-good-wingman-to-those-starting-out-on-their-seduction-journey/

• Not looking after my testosterone enough- at university I suffered from real poor heath due to my diet , my testosterone was low due to the lack of sunlight exposure, alcohol , poor diet and vitamin deficiencies . Consuming the right supplements like organ meat supplementation, good quality zinc, getting sunlight, avoiding alcohol, stopping porn – helped to really  boost my sex drive. Please please please do not jerk off before a date or pick up session it will absolutely destroy your drive and motivation to meet women.  
• Not looking after my social media profiles- When I started night game and consistent approaching I made the mistake of having a dire facebook and instagram profile full of boring pictures. This ended up resulting in a lot of flakes as I was unable to portray value or any excitement to women through my pictures- read the social media guide for more info: https://mindful-masculinity.org/2020/10/18/the-complete-instagram-and-social-media-guide-for-dating-and-relationships/

Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc.  For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France, San Fransisco or Dubai if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com 

A fair percentage of the major coaches of the past are either dead or retired:

The Death of major dating coaches 

Losing Tom Torero two years ago I think was a pretty huge blow to the dating Manosphere  so to speak. He was definitely the most consistent dating coach out there who was really well and truly dedicated to the cause of daygame. He gamed in over 30 nations, wrote comprehensive pieces and kept the community alive with constant meet-ups and good content both in the form of YouTube and podcasts.  Looking at dating and the seduction community right  now you’d be hard pressed to find a “new Tom Torero”  To find someone as dedicated to the game as Tom will be pretty hard pressed to find in the future and to be honest I don’t think we will ever get one. I understand he made mistakes in the past and did some dishonest things but still his net benefit to the community was huge and his void will be deeply missed. 

Further more the death of Alan Roger Currie was similarly a big blow to the community at large his death also was a big surprise considered he recently had two children and is somewhat an example of the negatives of leaving it too late to have a family. Currie who estimated to have around 120 lays as a result of his mode one direct daygame past away aged 59 due to health complications . Maybe an example that those committed to daygame should settle down a bit quicker now his death leaves another big void in the dating coach scene and for his own family – two children who have to grow up without a father is a sad sight indeed. 

Another 21 convention speaker Andrew the Private man who’s blog here  also passed 

https://theprivateman.wordpress.com/

Had some wonderful dating insights for men and was truly an admirable man who will be missed by all. 

Will there be a new generation of coaches ? Judging by activity the PUA  forums and how little proactive action one witnesses it’s easy to predict probably there won’t be.

The Retirement of Key Dating Coaches 

Liam McRae was arguably one of my favourite coaches on The Natural Lifestyles and  gave some genuinely good advice . He may not be liked by other favourite coaches of mine like Nick Krauser but he still had a lot of valuable insights.  His books are listed here: 

Im not under any commission and I don’t think any of them are longer available along with his Youtube content which has now been deleted. But if you search for him in podcasts you should be able to find a few key interviews of his particularly his 21 convention one. Recommend you give him a listen here:

Tony Solo was another TNL coach that seemingly disappeared into thin air. Along with James Marshall’s once PsychKick Sasha daygame. Albeit they were never the most appealing coaches to me personally they still had a decent sized following especially Sasha who in my opinion seemingly went on too much of a “spiritual woo woo “  path. 

RSD is obviously another one that burned out too fast. From my perspective the business grew too quickly and they got too greedy hiring too many coaches at once which eventually exposed their coaching programs as flawed.  If you hire too much at once it obviously has ramifications on how it impacts your business for me personally RSD was one example of a business that suffered from excessive growth and fame and as a result they paid the price for it after providing what seemed to be a lot of substandard bootcamps but their free content was still pretty decent. 

Yad another famous coach who went in retirement last year achieved critical acclaim and cashed on his success by being a coach. The fact that some fat slob could achieve so much in the dating realm by being so little was certainly inspiring. However according to my friends who winged and lived with him he rarely bought back above a 6 to his house still a remarkable achievement for someone so fat and a loss to the daygame community nonetheless… 

The Risk Attached with being a dating coach now is too high to make it worthwhile 

Dating coaches obviously have a high early retirement rate. Few last the block either they get burnt out from their own career and turn to spirituality akin to Sasha Daygame or they just want to do something else because they want to build their identity completely on something different akin to Liam McRae. They also face the risk of being vilified by mainstream media. Look at Tom Torero’s death after being pursued by journalist Danya Hajjaji they froze his bank accounts and took all his income away from him. Paypal being partly responsible as well as they suspended his respective incomes from there . Now Tom Torero was a flawed individual by all accounts, him recording audio taking a woman’s virginity was a dumb fucking move considering the way pick-up artists are treated in the MSM but he didn’t deserve to have his bank accounts and income payments frozen as a result . Im sure this incident will most likely put off future coaches from putting themselves out there and further disincentivizing the publishing of PUA content.  I mean why even publish anything for free only to have your career wrecked and your name in lights? 

Another example of this is in the London Daygame group “game global” which got ridiculed by MSM too https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9729855/British-childrens-author-Game-Global-social-network-pick-artists.html  again if you’re the forefront of these things you always risk ridicule as a result. The risks attached usually far outweigh the benefits involved.  Im not a game global fan but I don’t think they should be ridiculed in this way at all when there’s no direct proof that any of it’s founders did anything wrong. 

Don’t dating coaches also get burnt out too?I can imagine that was a contributing factor to some coaches like Liam McRae, Tony Solo, the Simple Pickup Group retiring dating coaching isn’t a long term job for the majority of coaches. Long term they most likely quit due to the intensity of the job , MSM pressure or some other reasonings along those lines.  The good ones of 5-10 years ago most didn’t last till this day. I mean other than Nick Krausser maybe Mystery, James Marshall  and Zan Perrion none of them have pretty much survived to this day . I admire dating coaches that have survived this long – It certainly takes a lot of mental work and anguish to keep up with the work load of having to deal with a lot of clients with different issues plus the pressure from MSM and angry anti- PUA trolls .

The Dishonesty behind PUA 

It’s hard to keep businesses afloat when they’re dishonest right? PUA has been full of this from selling overpriced products to coaches who just out and out lie. 

Liars include some of my favourites like Tom Torero who payed for a kiss close or John Antony lifestyles who appears to be taking some photos with prostitutes  as his “ infield proof”  the tales of dishonesty don’t stop there. 

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Simplepickup were my favourite coaches of the early 2010s I really admired them as pioneers for what they did now ? After Jesse made a course called “Endless Options”  something weird came about with him allegedly hiring a good looking poker player to message his own girlfriend on tinder and used screenshots of that thereafter claiming that this good pro poker was a fat man who’d managed to successfully seduce a good looking woman off tinder. I really hated Jesse for what he done and it seemed out of character considering he was one of the people who really inspired me to get into game to begin with.  Now he was preaching dating apps and selling courses on how to get fat people laid on tinder. When anyone with relative online dating or day gaming experience would know that a high value woman just simply won’t date a fat guy off an app when they have literally 1000s of better options available  . Why market an app like that if you weren’t just a scumbag looking to take advantage of men’s desperate position in the sexual market place. Then again maybe Jesse was just a scumbag after all who men like myself gave the benefit of the doubt due to what he’d accomplished in PUA . Maybe I was wrong to idolise all these dating coaches who seemed to have aspirations for profit and marketing first and foremost and honesty second. After all isn’t just most marketing just legalised lying? 

The fall out of Simple Pickup hurt me a fair bit – the forums they had were one of my first experiences of Daygame so for that to have ended was a massive shame their content really was the main inspiration for me to do my first approaches and to ultimately lose my virginity. Maybe they weren’t as amazing as I thought but rather opportunists who took advantage of the YouTube’s rampant growth at the right time and place. Would what they do be replicable nowadays? I highly doubt it given the nature of YouTube today they’d have probably been banned way earlier if they were around today.  Kong repeated this course selling formula and made even more revenue with his new YouTube course being sold called Jump Cut and followed many of the other “self help” entrepreneurs of our time with more and more course selling . Subsequently Kong seemed to just out and out steal Jesse’s girlfriend which is a shame to find out about but it is what it is. I guess is there a lesson to be learnt from here is not to idolise PUAs or leaders in their industry because like you or I they are most likely very flawed individuals.  Of course you analyse any “ pua” under the microscope you’re likely to find a weakness or a flaw in something they all  do maybe I’m being over judgemental and jealous here who knows?  

Did Online Dating Kill the PUA Community? 

The thing about online dating is no matter if you did or didn’t benefit it really only benefits the top 10 percent of men and fucks over the rest . As someone not in the top 10 percent of men it really didn’t enhance my life in London at all although I did have success using it in Myanmar and Brazil but this was most likely due to the extreme lack of competition in these countries in comparison to my home city of London.  

Even the men that get a load of lays from online may be left unfulfilled as their options are still at the mercy of an algorithm rather than free choice. But where did it leave the PUA community? It meant even the most average/ ugliest of women now had men fully disposable on tap. It  meant that the average man had to do more to garner dates than the average woman. It created an ever lasting inequality in the sexual market place who’s ramifications we are yet to see. 

But what about the men’s dating and self-development community? Due to  a lot of high quality men effectively getting all the sex they needed from apps they no longer had the desperation or need for Daygame. This stopped the high quality men from resorting to daygame and left the low quality including myself left to turn to daygame. Imagine all the potential friendships formed between wingmen that were distinguished because a percentage of high quality men felt sexually satisfied due to the apps. It’s a shame and left the Daygame community with lower quality men than the previous decade of dating and left the ones in the community with a larger workload as they had to now approach women the bulk of whom are now sexually satisfied thanks to apps like Bumble, Tinder and Hinge. With every technological advancement there are winners and losers. Even the men who’ve won thanks to online probably will lose in the potential wingmanship/friendship and the skills they’d learnt if they’d daygame . Alas daygame searches on google seemed to have topped out in 2012 roughly 2-3 years after online dating apps were becoming mainstream. I have reason to believe online dating did contribute daygame’s decline. The lust for knowledge, to learn , to garner some form of community is sadly gone from this generation and further leaves men in isolation . 

Death of Forums and Communities: 

As mentioned before most my favourite website like the UK Pua forums seem  to have less posters on there . I’ve tried to continue to be a contributor to inspire a next generation of people to hit the streets. I’ll Never be a YouTuber or a  coach but this blog is the way I best seek to help people still in the community without having to “expose myself” or to risk getting my career and life fucked up by the MSM. 

Reddit Seduction , Actualised , SoSauve Forums and Kill your inner loser  remains but I still think we are operating on lower levels of popularity than before.  The London sarge groups are pretty much dead and a shadow of what they were in the early 2010s . Replaced by not much else.. maybe game global dead telegram groups and the odd Facebook community both of which really serve as a funnel for marketers to sell their products to the remainder of people on there. 

Overstimulation of Men Due to Addictions 

At university the biggest contributing factor to the delay of the loss of my viriginity was my porn addiction. That and my social media really stopped me from taking advantage of the rare occasions that women were Into me . They just decimated my brain and  testosterone levels and im pretty certain the next generation of pickup artists are pretty fucked with even more stimulation and  addictive social media than I had to deal with. This serves to fucking decimate mens SMV and induce laziness and complacency.  Men have to deal with more addictions than women on average, with drug, alcohol, gaming, gambling, all being more prevalent in men than women by comparison.  

Lowered Testosterone of Men 

Men’s declining testosterone levels are undeniable at this point in time: 

https://www.medichecks.com/blogs/testosterone/why-do-gen-z-and-millennial-men-have-lower-testosterone  on average men’s testosterone declines one percent a year this surely will take its toll on men over time and most likely will decrease the lust for sex and to attract women. Most likely resulting in more laziness and less work ethic which isn’t good for the PUA and self development community. 

Rising Men’s suicide – Diminished Incomes ruining men’s confidence 

Men’s suicide is rising considerably faster in comparison to women’s I see this most likely just going up as men’s incomes are also diminishing in the west and globally in general as more of men’s jobs in comparison to women’s are being taken away by ai and automation . Also post divorce men’s high suicide rate harms their chances in going back in the dating market along with other factors that destroy men’s smv like the loss of money post divorce, having children which puts off potential future partners should the original partner they had children with leave them, diminishing testosterone , inflation cutting men’s purchasing power and diminished career opportunities. 

Undercover Documentaries Destroying people’s incentives to do PUA or daygame. 

That BBC documentary , the Anti Game Global publication on the Daily Mail all these articles are doing deincentivize further day gamers and  create anxiety and apprehension among the community. Any daygame coach is just  one article away from a false rape accusation. Some day gamers don’t recover from the mental burden of such accusations such as Tom Torero who committed suicide shortly after the Danya Haajjaji article was posted about him which subsequently resulted in visa and PayPal cutting his payments destroying his most important mode of income. Some debate that Torero should have just pivoted and accepted Bitcoin payments but Im not sure if he was ever a big crypto guy- it seemed losing his income, his YouTube channel and the loss of clients due to covid took its toll on him. Maybe other men wanting to be dating coaches will see his decline and subqeuntly be put off from taking the same career path . With the risks increasing and the financial gain decrease I believe dating coaching will slowly be declining  or moving more “Underground” with a select few surviving the culling and media attention. I mean what good ones are there left? Alex Leon, James Marshall , Nick Krausser maybe… who else? 

Were  dating coaches all just opportunists ? 

Analysing some dating coaches in the past maybe they’ve been fully called out on their dishonesty or maybe their marketing made up for their flaws that are now more apparent now? Let’s take into account Yad for example here’s a fat coach who was marketed as some big mainstream playboy. The reality is the majority of women really don’t want to date a fat person and he may have inspired low smv individuals to be deluded enough to think they could garner hot women. The reality was with my friends of friends who roomed with Yad he rarely dated above a 6 . The reality is daygame will only ever really help you get 1-2 points above your SMV – not much more than that. You can’t hide or polish a turd really reality will hit home and the dating coaches that pitched you said ideas will just diminish.  Heck I digress maybe the decline of dating coaches can be seen as an example as to how unsustainable  a lot of their methods were. Is Yad relevant in today’s era of quick paced instagram / tinder and hinge. Are women who are being dmed by men across the world , flown out and seduced left right and centre ready for a fatass pua to approach them? 

Anyway these were my thoughts . Maybe im just being a negative little bitch? Who knows but I’ve defiantly seen a big downturn in pua in the last few years alone. Whether we will grow in popularity again I severely doubt due to the sigma with dating in the modern day world. This could be seen as me spreading negativity but I like to analyse things with a senes of realism rather than being deluded or overly optimistic. 

Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc.  For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France, San Fransisco or Dubai if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com 

Decided to write this blog post to help people especially newbies to the world of dating and pickup so they don’t get too overwhelmed by the marketing gimmicks used by dating coaches out there. When I started by daygame journey I went from coach to coach to coach from dating guru to dating guru without even being cognisant of what advice I was getting and the real intentions and the situations of those who were selling me said advice. I decided to write this critical factor blog piece to make people starting out more aware of the cons dating coaches have and factors you need to consider when following someone’s guides or philosophies .

Key Points to Realise :

1. Context is everything when looking up to dating coaches, dating guides etc.  .

Be cognisant of the advantages your dating coaches have: Understand that lay reports are subjective as they heavily rely on said coaches sexual market value, where they are located in the world and what their value is relative to the women around them. For example a UK dating coach based in Eastern Europe or South America will most likely have a lot of advantages simply due to his nationality of being a foreigner. 

Other examples of this its important to consider what value your coach has and how they’re utilising said value. 

Let’s take James Tusk for example – He’s a PUA coach based in London now on the surface he has a lot of things going for him. He’s handsome, dresses well , has a good physique and owns a flat in London. Now these things are pretty invaluable for someone based London he has a lot of value off the bat therefore he will need to do a lot less approaches in order to make an impact. 

https://project-tusk.com/blogs/coaching-testimonials/infield-daygame-coaching-session-andre-beginner-daygame

There was then a clip released in 2017 of James coaching a student called Andre who appears to be somewhat autistic, poor dressed , short and a bit Chubby . In this case the coach seems to be far ahead of what the student is . Now Im not saying there is anything wrong with James Tusk but I want you to understand that daygame coaches can only too much . If there’s a huge gap in sexual market value between the student and the coach then coaching is almost on the verge of pointless . 

Similarly there were clips TNL released on their workshops of overweight poorly dressed me going into interactions looking like literal lambs for the slaughter- these clips have since been hidden from YouTube but again an example of how coaches even the great James Marshall can send a student into a set poorly dressed 

Again this was done by another dating coach Sasha Daygame: Where he sends 4 people into some pretty weak sets poorly dressed one with a generic Nike shirt . Now as a dating coach the minimum you can do when students are paying you top dollar an hour is just dress them properly except for a hippie coach like Sasha “positive energy” is deemed the only important thing seemingly. Proper presentation of themselves is not. It may look like im nitpicking but there are dating coaches out there that just don’t sort out the fundetmantals with their clients are should be criticised for doing so after all they are charging a huge amount for a high ticket service this service better be good. 

Some Coaches will never have your disadvantages or they might not have been successful when they had them. 

Understand that alot of daygame coaches can’t polish a turd, they themselves have have built their successes through either having some advantages which you may or may not know about or have used geographical arbitrage to temporarily raise their SMV. 

Lets use some examples of Prominent Daygame Coaches and what they’ve done themselves: 

• James Marshall – Owns a $2mill Farm in Portugal and a $600k flat in Budapest hardly a broke guy, also is tall handsome and has an Australian passport.  Traveled to god knows how many countries. 
• Alex Leon- Handsome, Well built , Austrian passport, decent career, brother works for fly emirates so he gets free business class tickets so it looks like he’s ballin when he most probably an’t . 
• Tom Torero – Despite an ugly face had still traveled to 40 plus countries and had an Oxford degree all in all pretty decent accomplishments and would’ve made approaching women a lot easier. 
• James Tusk- Handsome, well built man, spent his time living between Hong Kong and London, owns a flat in London , had a good finance career  and has travelled a tonne. 
• RSD Todd- Was a Pro Poker player before hand , seemed to have an elite level of intelligence as a result. 
• John Antony (not a fan of his at all personally but )  – Still very tall, spends a fair amount of money on facial surgery, takes TRT , well built dude. 
• Nick Krassuer- Well Built dude, Ex boxer, has travelled the world , speaks several languages including a bit of Russian I believe. 
• Liam Mcrae- Good Looking dude, well built, plays electric guitar at a high level, Australian Passport 
• Simple Pickup Crew- Jason, Jesse and Kong all three of these individuals had stake in a million dollar business all had passports of the first world (US) . 

Im not even a fan of every coach on this list , Im not endorsing any of their products I just want to show the importance of understanding that each coach no matter how bad or good has at least a fair amount of value . You gotta understand and think about where you are in comparison to these coaches and be honest with yourself. If you’re well below these people then the chances are you will need to approach a fair amount more women to get the same results as said coaches. If you’re a man in the third world and you are watching and analysing coaches from the first world you need to be honest with yourself knowing that you have to approach more. 

If you’re significantly poorer than these coaches or have no interesting hobbies or haven’t traveled and have nothing to talk about you’re going to have to approach more to hook women in comparison to the coaches. 

If you’re overweight , boring with no hobbies you’re going to have to work a lot harder than the jacked coaches you see. All these coaches are at least well dressed , have travelled a lot and have a passport from the first world at a minimum. They all have  at least some value to a degree. They aren’t fat , boring and slumming it out in the third world. 

If you’re autistic or on the spectrum and have difficulty building bonds with women you’re going to struggle a lot more most likely then the coaches listed and will most likely have to approach a lot more than them to even get remotely the same results. 

I know Im coming across a bit negative and aprehensive here. But its not my job to sell you a dream I just want you to be realistic . 

2. Daygame Marketing / Coaches / Tinder Coaches may hide the sheer amount of rejections you’ll face. 

This is fundamentally a big issue I see. Daygame is rejection at every turn. There are a huge quantity of flakes you will face, bad dates, LMR, blow outs and that’s the bulk of it. The actual success makes a fragment of this . Anyone promising you quick lays or success is simply lying to you .  This is the bulk of what it is. Your dating coaches will only be able to get you good results if you already have some decent quantity of SMV. 

Most coaches hide the pain, the rejection, the flakes from their clients in the marketing because it’s not something that’s going to trigger sales. No one likes learning about the struggles they only want the lays and the successes that come with that. This is the bulk of what daygame is , it’s struggle you will need a huge amount of mental resilience to get better. 

The fact is a lot of dating coaches spend a lot of their time riffing one another. For any dating coach to even release videos of rejection isn’t very appealing because it gives the internet and other dating coaches the opportunity to riff on said dating coach.  So all in all the industry has more of perfectionist attitude which is just simply unrealistic and you have to be cognisant of this when watching any infield. 

3. Fantastic high quality wingmen will always trump a good dating coach. 

Honestly for me the biggest difference was meeting  high quality wings. This wasn’t an easy feat by any means. I went through around 20-30 poor quality wingmen but its the failure and the awkwardness that you have to endure In order to be successful at dating. You will meet a lot of wingmen you don’t like or don’t vibe with that’s just the way it is. You will also meet a lot of women you won’t have chemistry with that’s part and parcel of life its just the way the world is .

Wings are the most cost effective way of optimising your game and I explain why in my Wingman guide here: 

4.  A lot of Coaches are glorified passport bros or were passport bros at one point in time. 

Let me give examples and some examples that I will give are some of my favourite coaches for myself personally. 

Liam Mcrae– Got his girlfriend in Eastern Europe. 

James Marshall- Married his wife while doing online game in Ukraine in  the late 2000s 

Tom Torero– Bulk of his lays in Eastern Europe.  

James Tusk- Spends most his time in Latin/Central America

TNL– The Natural Lifestyles – coached mostly in Eastern Europe – albeit they have coached in Barcelona too which is quite a tough environment. 

John Anthony – Spends the bulk of his time in Brazil . 

Nick Krausser– Spent the bulk of his time gaming in Eastern Europe first wife Japanese . 

RSDMax– Seemingly paid of Ukrainian models to feature in his ads . 

Now once again I don’t like all these coaches and I don’t think they are all conmen but the majority of them spent a good quantity of time in “Easy mode” countries  . You need to be aware    of this when analysing your successes because you doing the same thing as they did in their lay reports may not be adequate  enough in this day and age. 

Let’s take James Marshall a prominent dating coach- in his book “The Natural History” he wrote about lay reports that happened in the late 2000s which he used Myspace to pick up girls in Ukraine. Now of course Ukraine is in no condition anymore to do daygame in but this was clearly an example of James Marshall using his status as an Australian to garner up an extra dose of SMV to pick up women . Again I see nothing wrong with this but its not replicable at all now . The online market is absolutely saturated now and most hot girls in Eastern Europe probably have offers to be flown out around the world. Remember context is everything when analysing dating coaches like Marshall. He even married a Ukrainian woman in Ukraine and seemingly got used for his status as an Australian as it appears from the book that she cheated on him in Australia. 

Then there’s Tom Torero remember a lot of his dating successes came in Ukraine too which is no longer a viable prospect at all for dating. But after Tom released these lay reports and successes the city became essentially flooded with daygamers in leather jackets. Another example that certain coaches have big advantages either using the strength of their nationality or other SMV components which could be seen as a pivotal reason behind their lays or purely just good timing- going and doing well in a certain area before it becomes flooded with daygamers. 

5. Some Coaches have train wreck histories and should be noted as such 

Look at Richard Cooper – the guy dated  two single mothers in a row then became a world famous dating coach as a result of it. His work was extremely hollow seemingly being a regurgitation of self help quotes and men’s rights activism with little proactive advice on the basics like approaching and meeting new people . It’s pretty sad that this guy garners more popularity than people who actually did daygame approaches like Krausser and Torero . 

Make sure you do your due diligence on every dating coach, have they actually done daygame approaches? Or are they just a big marketing fluff. You need to learn to analyse and judge people accordingly to stop yourself from being taken advantage of. 

I mentioned this in my other blog post about the “Death of PUA ” but Simple Pickup who were my original idols well their co founders Jesse and Kong turned out to be dicks. Of course that’s not to take away from their accomplishments I was just heartbroken that someone like Jesse would sell such a scammy marketing bs like Endless Options the app that promised fat guys to hook with hot women. The majority of women don’t want a fat person! You got to be an idiot to fall for that shit and many did. It certainly tarnished his reputation and he seemed more ok with scamming people than actually being honest to people . 

6. Techniques and “text game” won’t polish a turd 

This is the problem with “Texting guides” Or the “Message Game”  I even see posts on Reddit promoting ‘“ai texting” none of these guides are going to be a substitute for a good strong interaction and daygame approach. Any guide or text method is likely to be replicated by 1000s of other men and eventually the girl will feel like they are part of a system and won’t want to be part of it.  “Let’s cut the bullshit fuck the guides and get out there and do some cold approaches” would be my ideal opening text to you yourself. Of course this is easier said than done for most men. The reason “text guides” and online dating guides are so popular is they don’t focus on the real issues that men at large face when dating – being approaching well, finding good adequate wingmen and being consistent and hardworking both on themselves and dating. These things will benefit you much more than any texting masterclass ever will. 

7. Never idolise any dating or self help coach for that matter. 

When I started game in the late 2017 Early 2018s I had a lot of sticking points to my game. I was in a pretty competitive environment growing up in London in a school with comparatively rich and high quality men. I made a habit of idolising  certain dating coaches  without not really knowing much about them. I idolised James Marshall a lot to the point where my game was modelled exactly like his. I idolised Tom Torrero and Rollo Tomassi too whilst their advice was good in theory in did lead to me taking everything they say as  an exact science which I felt harmed my LTRs with women. I began to play the field for too long and didn’t really make the women I like my girlfriend as I saw it as needy and tried too hard to “hold the frame” and “play hard to get”  in the end it just pretty much destroyed the relationships I valued and I was alone again. All in all my overvaluing of dating coaches was actually costing me in relationships rather than helping me. I simply did everything Tom Torero , James Marshall and Rollo Tommasi did because I had no real idea for myself what I wanted from my own relationships. Had I  stayed off the PUA podcasts and made my own ideas it could’ve been better for me to build my own identity instead of just being a regurgitation of another dating coaches’ ideologies. 

8. Dating is a hard mindfuck and no book/guide will protect you from the mental strain 

Both the successes and failures of daygame will take its mental toll on you . The complacency of success and the mindfuck of rejections will both be harmful for you and no coach is going to protect you from that. You need to make sure of this when reading lay reports and all the ups that the majority of daygame and dating is full of lows and mindfucks and that everyone will go through them no matter how elegantly your dating coach markets themselves. Every woman wants something different form a man and theres no man that’s going to be attractive to everyone that he approaches – theres nothing out there that is going to fight or protect you from inevitable  rejection regardless of what you do. 

9. The End-Goal of Most coaches is to sell you some high ticket product or overprice course/ guide which will contain information that you can find for free on the internet . 

Remember that most PUAs or this generation of self-help entrepreneur aren’t exactly that innovative they are all pretty much cut from the same cloth engineered to sell you a course that you don’t really need as 99 percent of the decent PUA info out there is there for free and any great course out there you’ll really gain greater benefit if you just have better quality wingmen around you as opposed to having the best courses. Great wingmen pay for themselves in lays , pushing your boundaries and making you self aware of your sticking points this is an idea that I constantly repeat because it was so vital to me . Think  of good wingmen as long term coaches-except for free.  Most dating courses are merely regurgitations of other much older Pua self help books confined in a video series. Whether it be Simple Pickup’s project go or whatever course TNL are selling usually all the information can be found for free if you look hard enough. You should be cognisant of dating coaches’ bullshit and not rely on them for all their answers and seek solutions from your own experiences  in dating. I remember when I started out I was obsessed with Rollo Tomassi, James Marshall and TNL as I said before  as opposed to forging my own identity with dating . In the end my early daygame relationships fucked up because I was too “addicted” to the viewpoints of these people. I just bought every product they had and became of a victim of their marketing skills instead of really developing my own understandings of relationship dynamics.  Just be cognisant when you yourself are buying products are you dealing with the root cause of your problems or are you actively just procrastinating by idolising other puas and buying crap. No course/book or product will save you from you. 

10. The Bulk dating coaches barely last the long term and are greedy at will rip you off

It’s a brutal industry and dating coaches themselves alot of whom can be seen as opportunists who make their big money and then leave. If you look at the most prominent example of this being RSD, Simple Pickup who’s member Jesse was selling absolute trash towards the end of his career . The point is you can’t worship these people as guys who are here forever and ever to mentor you most will  either retire, commit suicide, die , be found out as scammers or leave for more stable careers. Again this links back to the importance of forming your own identity , tribes and communities when it comes to dating.  In some instances like Jesse from Simple Pickup I conclude that they were just opportunists  who would rather peddle fake promises than the truth remember just because someone holds similar ideological values to yourself doesn’t make them a good person they can still be a scammy cunt and id admit that dating coaches that I idolised in the past did turn out to be scammy cunts the most prominent one being Tom Torero.

  In  another case in point of The Natural Lifestyles they would rather sell high ticket with the coaches mysterious aura and charisma being the bulk part that made the course expensive to begin with. Certainly I see that with coaches like James Marshall who’s £10k a week bootcamps comprising mainly  of approaching and mediation now believe me that £10k is better off spent on improving your fashion and spending active time networking with other wings . This sort of pursing for the “high ticket sale” is what the majority of this self help generation of entrepreneur is focused on and in the purchasing of dating products people are highly likely to be emotional and impulsive and pay out rather than figure things for themselves . Im not saying this is a good or a bad thing only for people who pay these high sums the money is most likely better spent elsewhere improving said students smv by learning a language or going to the gym instead of paying a charismatic person to point them at sets over and over again. 

So concludes this post, its kinda all over the place and pretty disorganised but I just want to give daygame or dating newbies in particular an overall picture before they commit to any daygame coach or being to overate any dating coaches philosophy . Just be cognisant of the people that market to you and who paint a picture to you and don’t believe everything everyone tells you- take time to form your own opinions in life. 

Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai, San Fransisco  or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value. 

This blog isn’t really ground breaking or particularly innovative advice but its more suited to men who are wanting to make things continually exciting with the women they are dating and moving towards an LTR. This could be helpful for men who want to create LTRs as opposed to hook ups. The ideas are pretty simplistic but should help some of you who:

Keeping the relationship exciting in the longterm 

Now for most in daygame enjoy the player lifestyle of getting laid with a girl within 2-3 dates and then calling it a day but for some people there might be a desire to take things a bit deeper than that they may want to develop from casual sex to a long term relationship and that’s fine . 

The issue with me when I was day gaming in London was I had no idea on how to make things exciting beyond two to three dates. Usually the women would loose interest or I would run out of ways to make the relationship interesting.  This was pretty much 95 percent my fault every time as Id run out of ideas pretty quickly as I was really one dimensional about the fun things to do in the country I was living in. Sex alone sometimes isn’t enough for a lot relationships to be maintained it’s your job as a man to keep the chemistry alive with those you’re dating.

Ways to keep things interesting when developing into a LTR 

• Activity Dates in London / the city you’re in
• Keep switching up the dating locations referring to my dating location posts in London 
• Trips around the UK in various locations 
• Trips to other countries in Europe
• Working on yourself through the successful relationships and remain disciplined  

Activity Dates in London 

Now these are quite a bit of a financial commitment so make sure you at least have at least hooked up with woman first 

• Cooking Classes – https://theavenuecookeryschool.com/ great for those in the Putney area 
• –  Pinot and Picasso – Shoreditch  located at : 32 Shoreditch High St, London E1 6PG – definitely a good painting activity date – good for introverted women. 
• Mini Golf – Swingers Golf or Puttshack both are decent in London 

Of course other cities in the UK have activity dates you can search for this list isn’t exclusive to London : https://classbento.co.uk/cooking-classes-london

Trips around the UK : 

UK has a fuck tonne of history , if you think  things are boring out in the city that you’re in you can easily move to other cities with the girl you’re with to create more excitement. Recommended cities for traveling: 

• Cotswold: Quintessential England very romantic spot for traditional UK. Nearby cities like Cheltenham are good for a few days dating too 
• Kent: Similar to Cotswold. 
• Brighton: Beach Seaside town great place to take a woman on a weekend date bear in mind its significantly more expensive on the weekends then the weekdays.  
• Cardiff/Abergavenny : Beautiful countryside town- really good unique and interesting place to take women off the beaten trail. Cardiff has pretty cheap hotels and Abergavenny is fantastic for romantic walks in the Summertime. 
• Cambridge: Near London and again a very famous city – ideal for a weekend break. 
• Edinburgh- A city bursting with history -great place to take women for 3-4 days romantic trip .
• The Lake District : Probably on of the most beautiful countryside parts of the UK – perfect for romantic walks and hikes.
• Newcastle : Probably the best animal cafes in the UK and interesting forest walks and castles. 
• Liverpool: Women who are rock / Beetles fans will obviously enjoy this very much so due to the Beetles museum 
• Bristol- Clifton suspension bridge is a great place for romantic drinks and dates. The city itself comes with a lot of dating options too .  Great history museums and art scene as well. 
• Cornwall- Another iconic beachfront city to travel around

Again you don’t need to take her to all these locations but they just provide some food for thought for things to do to keep the romance exciting in the relationship. 

Trips around Europe 

Living in the UK you can pretty much have access to cheap flights all over Europe. Options like Eastern Europe can provide cheap adventurous dates that can keep the romance going. Again its usually best to this with girls you’ve already slept with and already have a commitment from or it could get awkward if you make a move and she rejects you and you have to go back to the hotel room with her. 

Working On Yourself 

The problem with me was once I was in  a relationship with an attractive girl I’d then turn into a lazy ass bum and it would kill the attraction and the excitement of the relationship. You should keep pushing yourself to be better always -single or in a relationship. This advice is of course a lot easier said that done and I’ve been the laziest bum of them all in the past . Just make sure you never slack. Im in a relationship at the moment and I’ve still made the commitment to continue working and studying four different languages and making sure my lust for life continues. This is of course a lot easier said than done as I said before but you gotta keep at it for yourself more than anyone. 

Conclusion: Again this is a pretty bum ass blog post compared to my others but it’s just here to help people maintain their relationships and not fall into dating slumps by just making every relationship a predictable alcoholic drink followed by drunk hookup date.