Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
The fourth book in The Rational Male Series The Rational Male – Religion is Rollo Tommasi’s book that tries to balance religious beliefs with modern day PUA theory. Has Rollo exhausted The Rational Male series or is this fourth edition an insightful addition to the collection of books which have had a huge impact on the manosphere- love or hate the guy he has been one of the most talked about figures in the men’s dating space between 2015 and 2020 . So why write about religion? Because God himself or faith is a shit way to depend on dating well and optimally yet so many people rely on their Church/Mosque or Synagogue to guide them to make the right relationship decisions . I think its still important today to discuss religion and pua as religion still impacts a lot of Men and Women’s dating decisions whether we like it or not and of course even though atheist Puas tend to speak the truth much more on relationship dynamics their voice will probably never be as loud as religious institutions despite said institutions not having common sense or rational thinking as their lead influence to the relationship advice they give .
At the time of writing 68 percent of American’s are Christian so it made sense for Rollo to do this book as he himself is American and a Christian – given that a lot of Rollo’s fan base is religious could be seen as an additional reason to focus on this topic- Rollo himself has said he receives a lot of fan-mail and questions from his religious fans so addressing them all in one book seems convenient.
It’s important to understand that a lot of men make their relationship decisions based on Religion – Religious philosophy and PUA do have major differences and I feel that a lot of religious men are making fucking stupid decisions purely on their belief – this book is more directed at Christianity rather than at people of all faiths but the general message is true across all religions though the examples used are roughly 80 percent based on the Christian faith, 10 percent Islam and 10 percent Jewish- aside from these major faiths there’s not much mentioning of Buddhism , Hinduism or the Seeks . Maybe this can be a valid critique of the book – meant to be about Religion but is really not as broad based as the title alludes to with such limited examples.
Aspects of the book that I liked:
The penultimate chapter of the book was were I really resonated with Rollo and thought he made a legitimate good point in the chapter entitled “ Love is God” :
“ But reason , rationalism and objectivity are dependent on intelligence and accurate information, and that that takes time. In some ways the Rational process is sensitive to both instinct and emotion in other’s that reasoning is painfully, sometimes , fatally , slow. Reason requires learning, patience and insight. “
The problem with religious individuals in terms of the dating world is their belief fundamentally does more harm than good basing their judgement of women off faith without any reference experience. Without actual insight and real life experience we can’t really learn properly about most things let alone relationships. If a celibate religious Christian man (for example) doesn’t approach women and chooses not to make his own experiences then how strong are his perspectives on dating if they are all based on religious hopium and belief in a higher power- until any man religious or not goes out into the field and does the approaches , dates a large group of women how can he possibly make accurate philosophies on dating and relationships – yet my religious friends would often settle down early in the name of God – without really experiencing anything that the dating world had to offer.
“Empiric rationality is the foundation for what humanity has made of itself. Setting aside emotionality and considering challenges from the Rational interpretive process is fundamental to understanding the Emotional and Instinctive weaknesses.”
Again in the same chapter Rollo repeats the point of the importance of rational views , something which major religions don’t seem to permit – whether its for a feminine imperative or not is debatable as I believe that part of the debate depends on the geographic location of said women you are referring to.
At grass roots level why do atheist Puas like Tom Torero or Nick Krauser achieve so much more dating wise and have so much more of a wiser understanding on relationship dynamics than your average religious Christian or Muslim man who married the first person that they were into in the name of God. A lot of men make stupid relationship decisions on marriage – religious people in particular are prone and the lack of rational thinking which comes about a lot (especially with men) is due to their lack of real life experience. Believing or being obedient to religion very rarely improves smv I say rarely because some girls might actually see your religion as a plus point for example if their dating goal is to date a Jewish man then of course in that instance being a Jew is helpful . Although others can see it as a negative either way being religious and using God as an excuse to commit to a woman Is just silly.
I went to a Christian secondary school and saw a lot of men marry prematurely (as i mentioned before) in the name of God. This was pretty worrying for me and I saw the same from my friends of Jewish faith and similar to my friends of muslim faith. From a pua perspective marrying prematurely and young doesn’t make really any sense as a man. Seeing as men’s smv alone peaks around 30-40 (as Rollo alluded to in his first book) and the majority of my religious friends were marrying early 20s to subpar women it seemed that they had missed out on a whelm of opportunities in the name of God which meant most of them sacrificed their optimal smv era and their optimal dating partners due to their religious dedication which seemed like complete bs.
First of all I think it’s easier for some people to move away religious philosophy based on their geographic location – A muslim living in a small town in Saudi Arabia will have a harder time moving away from religious pressures than a Christian living in London- still from a dating and PUA perspective making the jump from moving away from faith towards working on active pua . In my time doing PUA I haven’t met many strict religious types who practice cold approach- to this date I’ve only hand a handful of religious wings so analysing this book I don’t really have much personal experience but as an atheist man living in London of Middle Eastern origin ill probably look more towards the impact of Muslim faith and PUA . Muslims from my experience are a bit deluded in dating philosophy but no more deluded than my Christian friends are.
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Things I didn’t like about it :
As mentioned on numerous occasions Rollo likes to repeat a lot of the same analysis from his previous books whilst not introducing that much new- It would be been nice if he compared some aspects of conservative cultures divorce rates to liberal ones- some statistical measures of strict Christian households divorce rates compared to Muslims or Jews but yet again there’s none of that here. Maybe I’m nitpicking but a discussion about religious Puas would’ve been good – almost no where here does he provide many solutions for men – then again he has stressed in interviews that he’s not there to fix our lives and that the Rational Male isn’t a 12 rules for life- then again I do know one Christian Pua that succeeded in-spite of his religious beliefs I believe daygame can enhance everyones life regardless of their religion – some proactive dating advice would have been good but then again he has already given that in the previous books 1 and 2 and has released a “players hand book” then again Rollo is willing to repeat a lot of other elements from those books here – most particularly in regards to women’s dating strategy . That being said this echoes my previous point about how empty this book is in terms of what new it provides to Rollo’s fans. I think there was real potential here to make something special- a deep insight into religious people’s dating lives using examples of Christianity, Islam, Judaism would’ve made for good reading – but Rollo never really gets going until the last couple of chapters.
Interestingly the reviews in general for this book are high but this one star review written by a random individual whom i don’t know does echo my thoughts that it was an attempt to cash in on his fan based evidenced by the actual lack of “new ideas” or new information provided here.
There’s a lack of analysing or providing reasons why there are less people looking at religion . For me personally my underlying dislike of religion was never due to the feminine imperative of religion – I don’t think Rollo Provides enough statistical reasoning behind this – he just says it without looking or comparing different countries, cultures , or even religions themselves- having spoken to people who moved away from the church I believe the corruption , money laundering , excessive pedophilia are contributing factors as to why people are leaving religion.
When you start molesting kids you start to believe that this old religion isn’t all that’s cracked up to be:
when the Dalai Lama starts kissing 5 year old kids on stage:
or when strict religious Singaporean religious priests start stealing large amounts of cash you start to believe religion is a scam :
I believe these reasons are why people are turning against conservative religion rather then its “Feminine primary objective” which Rollo tries to prove using statistical evidence about the increase in female priests in the church- in fairness Churches in the US have turned more pro lgtb rights in the last 5-10 years judging by twitter and news reports – whether this is because they genuinely care about gay rights or just need the fucking money and are moving away from conservatism . They need the cash or their religion will die- we will take gays or women , relying on men alone is simply not enough when said straight men have been molesting and proven to be corrupt as fuck to date. Heck my recent visit to Saudi Arabia proved that even the strictest of religious cultures can’t make the cut anymore simply staying conservative . They have recently gotten rid of the women driving ban and have even invited gay influencers (gay YouTuber nonstopdan being the primary example) to come to their country is this because they genuinely care about women or gay rights? I don’t think so – I think their economy is fucked and staying Islamic and conservative is a sure fire way to isolate your economy and put off potential investors similar to the American Christian church who’s numbers are now dwindling . Whether this is a real push for women’s liberty/ genuine care of gay rights or an act of desperation – judging by what’s going on in other conservative religions I believe it to be the latter although I have no statistical evidence per say to justify this.
Religious Conservative Male Influencer’s gone rogue? :
I use one example to justify Rollo’s arguments in this book religious conservative male influencer Tanner Guzy who’s a men’s fashion coach- a very known promoter of marriage and the nuclear family – often showcasing the importance of his marriage got divorced this year and lost custody to his 6 children. Now this was an example of a man who married young , built up smv like the red pill and Rollo and His buddies said you should do and still got divorced. In fact he’s of the Christian faith and still divorced twice now. I feel his example shows that SMV or no SMV all valued religious men can still be divorced even if they marry a conservative virgin woman things can still go wrong . So from this argument I guess Rollo is correct about the dangers of marriage in the 21st century which he repeats throughout this book.
Similarly looking at Tanner Guzy’s tweets now he seems to be – despite being a high valued man in his 40s aiming to date other divorced women or women similar to his age. He seems to be using dating apps and never talks about Pua or the value of approaching women during the day . I use him as an example of the value of pua as the only genuine way for men to date out their league- compare him to other lower valued people who got divorced like Tom Torero, James Marshall and Nick Krauser it’s the religious high value man Tanner that seems to be making the most compromises despite his “faith” and still doesn’t seem to be dating much better than mid tier women who still divorce him despite his improved SMV and accomplishments . This also falls in line with the idea of the religious influencers that Rollo alludes to in this book though he uses Jordan Peterson as the prominent example on how he influences young men to go back to church and find their faith- whether they do or don’t I still don’t think doing this alone will improve their relationship circumstances i honestly think a more rogue approach of just approaching a lot of women , doing the reps in daygame is genuinely a better idea than joining any religious cult or turning to God.
Of course it could seem like Im cherry picking examples of using a male Mormon influencer’s example but the general examples when you look at strict religious country’s and their divorce rate- The divorce rate in the strict conservative country of Saudi Arabia stands at 37 percent and what about the US ? 42 percent divorce rate.Some strict religious countries even had higher divorce rates with Kuwait at 48 percent- so this urge to follow Allah’s wishes or modern day red pill conservative coaches aiming for a happier “more religious time” may look to these countries and see the failure . Of course some other more conservative societies had lower rates with Japan at 35 percent although religion plays less of a part in these places for sure. Even balancing out Islam with a Christian country like Italy where divorce rate is 47 percent it seems wherever you turn- the same problem of divorce and relationship breakdown is there regardless of religious ideology or faith in “god “ or a higher power.
My main criticism of the book is it’s lack of originality – this is essentially The Rational Male 1’s baseline ideas throughout nearly every single chapter . Again dwelling into his arguments – it’s pretty much the same shit here – he is a bit of a broken record and anyone hoping for real innovation early on will be somewhat let down. Which is a shame – if anything the 5th and 6th chapters serve as once again a mini Rational Male summed up- oneitis , The feminine imperative society, except there’s even less solutions for religious men here just occasionally pointing out the limitations of belief of Christianity and Judaism in terms of relationship dynamics.
In chapter 3 he argues
“Men and women still prefer the roles we’re supposed to believe are constraining for us”
Well then why are conservative countries in some cases akin to having higher divorce rates than liberal ones as I argued before hand? This route back to conservatism statistically speaking may make no difference whatsoever.
“Much of the gender conflicts we experience today are the result of force -fitting men and women into an untenable egalitarian ideal”
I’d sorta agree – though I think there will always be massive inequality between the sexes and with inequality breeds jealousy or someone needing to sacrifice in order to lift the other up – sometimes that can be a wealthy man who choses to rescue and marry a poor woman or another time it can be a liberal Swedish chick who choses to fuck a low value man because fuck society and fuck the patriarchy . Men’s suicide rates are higher, autism rates alone 5 times as high in the US as women , men’s testosterone is at an all time low , so men’s cognitive abilities and ability to provide for their women is no longer as great as it once was – going back to the old times is near virtually impossible both economically and societally .
“Yes your religion was correct about some things, but those things are no longer the magical articles of faith they once were because they can now be explained fully”
Fair point -reason , science and rational thought have seemed to have taken over. The corruption of the Church is there for all to see.
“ Geographic isolation and cultural limitation of local women’s reproductive choices fostered a social contract that favoured socially enforced monogamy. Today those limitations are gone; replaced with the impression of unlimited access to intersexual connections from across the world”
I mean in some countries yes- but a lot of women are still restricted due to their countries economy. I mean I’d argue a select few women have benefited from this most likely the 7s + and even they need to find some men that are willing to pay and be their sugar daddy – not every woman is capable of this. Some are still repressed by their religion themselves whether it be the religious law of a conservative town in Saudi Arabia for example or the repression of their own religious beliefs. From my travels to conservative parts of the world I’ve witnessed religion really bear down on the mating strategy of women in UAE and Saudi Arabia respectfully after having borne friendships with the women there. “ Geographical isolation “ still limits dating experiences a lot one such example was in the city of Jazan in Saudi Arabia where i saw a lot of conservative muslim women complain to me that they were repressed by the local men and could not date what they wanted even them talking to me they were afraid of being caught speaking to a foreigner – there was definitely no “feminine imperative” lurking about when i was here and I am sure a lot of muslim cities around the world have similar repression of sexuality- in fairness to Saudi the major cities of Riyadh and Jeddah I chatted to women who said they were free to date what they wanted so I suspect this sort of repression happens more so outside major muslim cities.
The feminine imperative – if it benefits women today like Rollo claims i think only a select number of western women are the big benefactors which I think Tomassi really forgets at times that there are still a lot of religiously strict countries that use religion to repress women’s thoughts and believes – whether it be the strict Christian faiths in the Philippines or the strict muslim faiths in the Middle East as two examples- I think the lack of examples, evidence and variety in Rollo’s book makes it hard as a result to take him seriously on this issue. Also as mentioned before there are risks with endless options online in the technological world – which i think Rollo usually forgets – women have to put out usually when they are paid for by men (as Nick Krauser stated on The Rational Male Podcast in his interview with Rollo) or they are put in pressured situations- there’s nothing inherently “free” about being paid for by men to get out of third world or to be transported around the world. Rollo does acknowledge that despite the number of Catholic Nuns reaching a 25 year high in England- polytheistic and monotheistic religion has largely been by men for men and relatable from a masculine perspective” I still see this really evident especially in the majority of muslim countries across the world.
“Today egg freezing for women in upper management positions is become normal part of the benefits package for forward thinking multinational corporations” again in a select few developed countries in the world I’d agree- but still for the religious ones and for people of strict religious faith in the US, Middle East , Africa etc. I’d argue absolutely this is not the case . Heck is the ability to egg freeze that much of a benefit- it’s a painful procedure for one and can affect the offspring’s quality compared to having a baby in the 20s or the 30s .
“Unfettered by social conventions, women will pursue both short term and long term mating strategies in securing her reproductive best interests”
In general I’d agree this is really the exact same argument that he’s put in the other three books of this series and again I’d be reviewing it here- considering my own family experiences on this topic of interest my middle aged brother is what would be described as “beta bucks” in a relationship with a single mother and my eldest brother married a Russian woman at age twenty who subsequently cheated on him three times. In both instances I felt the women used the wealth and status of my brother’s as a comfortable backbone to use. Of course these are just examples- when you do PUA yourself you will see there’s opportunities for men to do well and exceed their value. I’ve dated and been in relationships with women who are levels above me in some regard thanks to pua and I’ve seen a lot of my wingmen overachieve and date out their league. But I do still agree with Rollo’s baseline notion that SMV does matter . I’d be lying if it didn’t and I’ve still suggested that the best people in PUA have been those who had a combination of SMV and good day game skills to run themselves optimally. Game barely gets mentioned in this book as an antidote or way out for men – which seems odd as fuck if being entirely honest. I mean religious people still do game – I know muslims, Christians and Jews who have partaken in daygame and broadening of options – I don’t think necessarily all religious people are strictly adhering to their religious principles – yet I believe Rollo seemingly is targeting his message towards conservative Christian America for the most part.
Conclusion:
The Rational Male religion is Rollo’s fourth assignment and from a experienced Pua perspective or someone passionate about dating there’s little to really genuinely enjoy here. I’ve included some of the most valuable segments and yet these most valuable segments will be obvious to those who have been doing daygame for a couple of years – or those who already have a grass roots understanding of religion – perhaps this book reads as a cash-grab on Rollo’s most loyal fans who will just buy anything he publishes and I admit there was a time when I was really just like that. I was a huge fan of the first book but the repetitive ideas of this book which seem to carbon the first left me yearning for more which never came until really the last couple of chapters which for someone who is religious and wanting to get into Pua may get some decent guidance out of. If you don’t fit that category then you’re more than welcome to give this book a miss – if you want to give Rollo’s books a try read the first one -it’s definitely the most practical – if you’re of a religious background then maybe this can be a slap in the face you need to go out there and start being proactive about your dating life – but then again maybe just listening to some Tom Torero podcasts or Alex León instagram reels might yield more motivation.
4/10
