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  • Johnny Berba (Jonathan O’Halloran) Commits Suicide – My Thoughts 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Johnny Berba (Real name Jonathan O’Halloran) who passed away November 12th 2024 became the second UK dating coach to commit suicide in the span of three years – the first being Tom Torero who passed December 2021 . Johnny was known to have suffered from anxiety, depression,OCD, parental trauma from an abusive dad and financial issues including tax debt (which he talked about on his blog) . In one of his final Youtube videos he was recorded to have said it was difficult to make it through the day highlighting major problems with his OCD . His death marks a dark few years with the manosphere, with Alan Roger Currie , Tom Torero , Kevin Samuels and Coach Redpill all having passed in a short space of time.

    Ill make it clear I am no Johnny Berba fan- but was saddened to hear about his death yesterday morning. I first met Johnny while day gaming in London in 2017 when  a wingman of mine was taking coaching from him and to be honest I wasn’t that impressed with him as an individual- he appeared in pretty mediocre  dress , seemed a bit anxious overall gave off a weird vibe . He complained to me that his interactions weren’t going as well as pre- online dating boom of 2014 with him stating that his reactions were getting considerably worse in 2017-2018 than they were during 2010-2014 – was this due to online dating ruining romantic love or to do with Johnny himself declining as an individual I am not so sure. But “smv” wise I was underwhelmed – my wing who coached under him would note that during sets he would spam approach a huge amount too in Covent Garden at one stage security even got involved – I am not so sure of his social calibration and watching YouTube videos of him he seems a bit agitated and too self-help gimmicky – uploading blow out infields as a sign of authenticity which might be interpreted in some situtions lack of social calibration rather than anything else due to his high “sasha daygame” like aura .  You’d have thought after 10 years in the PUA sphere the guy would’ve at least dressed a bit better and be clean shaven, socially calibrated and not spam so much but maybe I am coming across arrogant and dickish in my analysis . 

    He’s the second British dating coach in the space of three years to commit suicide – Tom and Johnny had similar problems that might have contributed to their deaths- For they both had histories with anxiety and depression and both seemingly could have had financial issues that contributed to their deaths- with Tom’s PayPal account and YouTube blocked after that Danya Hajjaji article that exposed him and his real name. Johnny had financial issues and seemingly a tax burden which he was vocal about on his YouTube . It seemed he was under financial stress burdened with mental health issues this financial stress seemed to make his OCD even worse as he noted in his Youtube dairies. With Tom it was the loss of income streams, with paypal shutting his account , the exposure of his identity online and similar depression issues that drove him to kill himself.  It’s sad to see two British daygame coaches meeting a similar premature fate. I am not Johnny Fan but with 36k YouTube subscribers his influence is obvious and watching his infields in 2017- though not really liking them myself it was clear to see he was inspiring people from reading the comment sections so who gives a fuck what I think. 

    Dating Coaches With Mental Issues become “Life Coaches” and “daygame instructors” 

    What I found hypocritical about the men’s self help dating scene was seemingly men with overburdening mental health issues becoming self help coaches and trying to lead men out of their own dating and sex relationship problems. The whole thing seemed a bit daft to me how Johnny Berba has been making 10-15 years of self help content but was unable to help himself out of a his own mental issues and financial problems. The same could be applied to Tom Torero who was often telling people on his podcasts to man up and take responsibility- this is echoed by Mystery who seemingly looked very depressed in his comeback interviews (albeit of course he had recently lost his mother and sister – plus the loss of custody of his children) For all the “you can do , and never give up bro” these people seemingly gave up and paid the ultimate price . Which begs the question to the people looking up to these guys  If the gurus that I look up-to can’t hold it together themselves is it really worth taking advice or coaching from them? When I met Johnny as I said before I wasn’t impressed there was something off about him- but looking at comments on youtube he was inspiring thousands and my wingmen enjoyed his content and one even hired him for coaching- I disagree with John Anthony’s thesis that Berba was a complete flop of a PUA – he did get results for two people that I winged who were coached under him with but still I saw him as someone who looked drained even seeing him 7 years before his suicide. 

    Drawn Comparisons With The Natural Lifestyle’s EX-Coach Johnathan Neil Thomson 

    Even upon reading James Marshall’s autobiography – one of his top wings Johnathan Thomson had many mental breakdowns and even gave up on an engagement with a woman – this same wingman he hired for a coach who then was very aggressive and strict with James’ clients (which TNL clients would complain about) often in now deleted YouTube videos doing aggressive rants – seemingly 2 years later he was fired by James Marshall for allegedly harming the business – he also does a lot of rants about mental health and mediation on his own instagram page which he still posts to this day. Again this is another example of how even the best – most famous dating coach companies hire people who have themselves got destructive lives and are clearly too mentally unstable to be coaching or are seemingly hypocrites giving advice to people which they themselves aren’t doing . 

    Johnny in his later years seemed himself to have lost weight and seemed to be continually blogging about his life – I’d consider this oversharing , if you have a financial issue why share it with the world it just looks weak and desperate in my opinion and isn’t something that people who are socially calibrated should do. He’d share details about his addictions to porn and prostitution  – this may have drawn him  a lot of clientele but I’d say some problems are best kept anonymously to yourself- also I found it weird how 15 years of pua and dating he seemingly failed to draw proper LTRs in the recent years – maybe his mental health was a reason behind the relationships failing to hold for the long term. It seems that the likes of him , Mystery , Ross Jefferies have failed to lock in a proper LTR despite years of study and coaching on dating. His consistency in the gym didn’t seem to be helping out either despite him making improvements to his body he still came across looking rough in the last few years which he’s been releasing content. He most definitely  needed some psychiatric help with his OCD which he was unable to control – for me personally my mental health issues were solved with infrared sauna , clean diet and exercise – Infrared Sauna for me personally got rid of approach anxiety. Im not sure if this is an adequate cure for OCD but it seemed that Johnny was very isolated for someone who should be a social dating coach he seemed to have few friends that could be with him at a time of need and no woman there to support him which again I find odd- even Torero after sleeping with 100s of women seemingly didn’t have one to take care of him in his time of need. 

    Dangers of Falling Behind in your Social Life 

    It was clear that Johnny had a rough life – issues with mental health and seemingly a lack of social awareness – his excessive sharing of his private life for me was one thing that made me feel like he wasn’t right in the head. But for men today social isolation at a young age, trauma and abuse has its costs further down the line- if men can’t build and form relationships with other men, if they can’t build solid relationships with women , if they can’t get their finances in order than this can leave them being vulnerable. For me personally my failure to land a proper girlfriend until my 4 year of daygame in 2022 aged 28 – I had realised I’d missed on a lot of social opportunities – luckily through daygame some of those social opportunities were resurrected and now i finally have a loving girlfriend but I was still very lonely from the ages of 16-24 and I do regret not doing daygame earlier on – it would’ve made my life a lot easier today. For many men they miss out on these opportunities and resort to porn or prostitution to fill the void – to give them the illusion of love and  a sense of belonging (especially those with video game addictions)  Falling behind has consequences and getting back on the bandwagon can be tough for some and maybe impossible to get back on that horse- either starting too late or just being too anxious and procrastinating, making excuses so to never start at all.  Johnny’s death has reminded me of the importance to keep going, to show mental strength and vigour and continuing to improve my social circle and my SMV – I don’t have mental health issues but I am also aware that its important for those who do to seek help and support- my thoughts on anti depressants? I think I really don’t know enough to have an opinion but know that they can have some really bad side effects sometimes the cure can be worse than the disease but of course it varies from person to person . 

    Concluding Thoughts : 

    I think its tough to analyse this as I don’t know about OCD, I think that might not have been the only thing to take him into suicide as there was also the issue of his financial issues and the history of depression and anxiety both of which had plagued Tom Torero in the past too. But it should be known that whoever you look up in life everyone has their problems and their issues – a lot of dating coaches out there have mental problems heck even Jordan Peterson much loved by the manosphere is hooked on antidepressants and opioids. You only got one life to live so continually seek to improve it so you never end up indebted and alone like Johnny did- its a ruthless world out there and takes a lot of determination to survive it and don’t ever take what you have for granted. I am not a Johnny Berba fan but with 33k Youtube subscribers and seeing his clients get genuine success his impact is undeniable. It may not have been to the heights of Tom Torero and he most definitely lacked the Social Suave of The Natural Lifestyles but his impact will live long in the lives of many.

  • Areas to Game and date  Around  South Of France – The Complete Guide – Nice, Antibes, Monaco and  Cannes 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    With my parents having owned an apartment in Nice since I was young I had the privilege of going there every Summer since I was about 6 – I’ve drawn up a list of areas to daygame there for people to follow – most of the cities like Cannes and Antibes are pretty easy to navigate without the need for much explanation – as soon as you get off the bus or train the foot flow and the dating spots are pretty much there. 

    Why the South Of France- The Advantages : 

    • Events like the Cannes Film Festival in May and Numerous Summer Events in like Horse show jumping in Monaco attract a pool of attractive women all year round. 
    • Huge mix of women – from Vietnamese, Chinese , Filipinos to a huge amount of Russian and Ukrainians- Cannes also attracts a huge amount of Arabs if that’s your thing (Same sort of women as Knightsbridge in London 
    • Beautiful women everywhere- Monaco and Cannes have the highest quality women in West Europe – the quality dicks on that of the UK in my opinion . 
    • Cities are easy to walk through and the foot flow/ dating locations is condensed – you don’t have to travel around to get that volume like a lot of American cities for example. 
    • Cheap flights from the UK – although accommodation can be expensive especially in Monaco- probably one of the most expensive places on the planet for real estate.  Travelling any major European city in off peak you should enjoy 50 percent off in hotels relatively. 

    Disadvantages: 

    • Expensive – for hotels I recommend staying in Nice if you’re really on an a budget staying in Nice and taking a train or bus into Moncao/Cannes seems to optimal route although I might be a logistical nightmare as those cities are roughly 1 hour transport away. So make sure you plan logistics in advance with the girls you’re dating. 
    • Competitive- I mean any place full of high value women usually In turn is full of high value men for example you get a lot of the top tier women in Knightsbridge in turn you get top tier women around that wealth. This isn’t a place where you can just be a passport bro akin to Brazil or China – you’re going to need some game and approaching skills here. 
    • Language can be an issue if you’re into the French girls but really theres a mix of Chinese, Russians , Germans, Americans and they usually speak good English anyway . This isn’t a situation like Brazil where not learning the local language can prove a huge disadvantage. 

    Monaco: 

    Advantages: Monaco is a city with decent foot flow all year round like you can come here peak off season and there will still be a foot flow of some tourists outside the Cafe De Paris area- There’s always someone to approach here- the same can’t be said for places like Cannes or Villefranche – areas that rely on tourist inflow in the peak months and are relatively quiet in the off peak seasons . Moncao is bustling all the time – especially in the Summer the foot flow is fantastic with a mix of races if you love your Russians, Chinese etc. Monaco has something for everyone especially near the May Cannes summer festival months a lot of high value women roam here- the only draw back is you do get a lot of married women setting up shop here but nonetheless there are still great opportunities . 

    Date Ideas- again i emphasise there are so many bars and cafes concentrated in Monaco and Cannes in a small area it should be relatively straight forward to find two or three date locations near each other

    Wine Palace -Monaco
    • Speciality Coffee shop in Monaco- Costadoro Social Coffee Monaco – this place is tranquil, very intimate and quiet ideal for a first date in Monaco and somewhere i highly recommend.  
    • Places for drinks near the beach. – Crazy Pizza- This is a pizza restaurant but does drinks and coffee also – location wise is good – maybe a good location for second bounce after the first coffee date  
    • Cafe de Paris- obviously this place is over priced as shit and there’s probably better options in Cannes but its not a bad date location or a good place for a second bounce and drinks maybe too crowded for a real intimate date which is why i prefer Crazy Pizza.
    • Wine Palace Monaco – Again this place looks fancy but its got good intimate seating and is a great place to grab a drink
    • Grubers Burgers Monaco- I only recommend this place if you need a cheap food date spot in Monaco for a second bounce its a burger joint but has lots of good sofa seating and is adjacent to a load of bars – they do delicious truffle burgers – https://monaco.ilovegrubers.com/
    Crazy Pizza Monaco- Great Place to Grab a drink

    Cannes– 

    You can game anywhere near the station – in the Summer months from May- August this place is rammed with tourists and the beaches are too. Although in off peak this place has the potential to be absolutely dead- you’re better off in Nice or  Monaco during those times.  There’s also a huge amount of restaurants in a small concentration all serving alcohol you don’t really need advice of where to go as they’re all next to each other- it’s possible to rack up 3-4 locations without walking more than 200 meters .  Cannes has foot flow all year round with the exception of off peak Sundays – but even then on a Sunday you can find decent foot flow in Antibes pretty much all year round whether its Australian backpackers or students traveling through Nice. 

    Costadoro Social Coffee- Monaco

    Date Ideas for Cannes : 

    Saddle – A good Coffee shop near the station- an ideal first date spot , nothing to fancy- maybe bounce her to a restaurant after for drinks. It’s an Arab influenced shop so be warned its not the place where you are going to rapid escalate on someone but it’s a nice pitstop to say the least and in the French sun it’s one of my favourite cafe’s in Cannes. 

    Saddle-Cannes

    Armani Caffe – Again another decent coffee shop in Cannes – there are coffee places and wine bars everywhere in this area- should be easy to find a good wine bar / cafe on your accord.  The beaches around the Armani Coffee shop is full of foot flow especially in the summer months. 

    Itineraire Cafe- Cannes

    Itinéraire Café – Cannes – My favourite coffee shop in Cannes- nice and intimate and next to loads of wine bars for second and third bounce locations.

    Armani Caffe – Cannes

    Antibes :

    Antibes usually has good foot flow  all year around and is worth visiting for daygame- there’s also a lot of coffee shops scattered around the city the only disadvantage is that its condensed small bit a foot flow so I recommend gaming here no more than 1-2 days and spending the bulk of your time in Cannes , Nice and Monaco for the greater foot flow. There’s like 5-10 decent bars and cafes all within 200 metres of one another so you’re in good hands with finding bounces for your dates.  

    Areas to Game in Nice: 

    Massive mall right next to the beach and Airport Cap 3000 is logistically a fantastic spot to do daygame in the South of France with big footfall all year round
    • Cap 3000- massive shopping mall and on the weekends this place is packed – off peak or on peak its an active place which you’ll enjoy – majority of people in this mall are usually French whilst the other cities of Cannes and Monaco are more diverse .
    • Nice City Centre – Avenue Jean Medicine area – has people all year round – strongly recommended even if you’re gaming on off seasons 
    • You can take the No. 15 bus from the Nice city centre to nearby cities like Villefranche  to do daygame there- Villefranche is pretty packed in the Summer months with a strong concentration of American tourists too although it is dead in the off peak months.
    • For date locations my go to coffee shop is the Malongo -Jean Medecin-Nice , great cafe with good seating and adjacent to many wine bars for a second date bounce.
    Malongo -Nice Cafe Jean Medicine-

  • Zan Perrion- The Alabaster Girl (2013) Book Review 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    One of the original coaches from Neil Strauss’ “The Game” Zan Perrion released the Alabaster Girl in 2013 a 21 convention Speaker and one of the true old g’s along with Neil Strauss, Mystery and Ross Jefferies – he’s also done collabs podcasts with the likes of James Marshall. Definitely one of the defining coaches out there in the pua space now seemingly based in Romania and I believe married – remarkably enough he’s the only coach from the book “The Game” to actually be in a relationship at the time of writing this blog in 2024 maybe a testament to how tough the dating space has become in fact I’d go to say out of all my book reviews I’ve written and coaches I’ve analysed at the time of writing I believe only Liam Mcrae and Rollo Tomassi are the only ones actually in married relationships now. Zan’s opinion of long term relationships are interestingly very negative similar to that of Tom Torero- often indicating that partner’s and Ltrs can breed complacency. 

    Anyway I believe Zan to be a good public speaker , he comes across charismatic and very “spiritual” . He looks after himself , is in good shape  has a likeable persona . His backstory is similar to many of struggles and insecurities around women. He tackles issues well and upfront in his speeches regarding approach anxiety, the pussification of men in todays era – stating that our ancestors would go to war , fight with bears etc. and we are too pussy now to open women because we are scared they might reject us? He has the same sort of philosophy on this sort of thing as Sasha Daygame did in his speeches. Although Zan argues his point with a bit more charisma, a bit of “spiritual finesse” 

    I’d argue Zan is a much better speaker than he is a writer- this book is easily the hardest to follow book in the pickup artist genre, whilst Liam Mcrae,  Tom Torrero, Nick Krauser all lay out their insights in a clear – easy to follow manner Zan’s book comes across incredibly disjointed – there’s one passionate interaction with a Polish woman which ends in him getting the number and her agreeing to date then the chapter just ends right there- and you’re wondering what happened. It seems almost like a confusing albeit passionate writing style of some victorian British novel rather than a dating coach giving genuine advice. I agree with some critics like John Anthony that Zan comes across too woo woo at times. For a beginner this would just confuse the hell out of me and from a  linguistic structural perspective its very easy to get lost in the direction of this book – its not an easy read compared to Liam Mcrae, Tom Torero and Nick Krauser’s book- there is little advice on how to make interactions better nor is their advice to stay active in the field and how to optimise dates. 

    Zan has  one or two decent tips in the book like Treating women the same whether you are attracted to them or not- I think this is important in winning rapport in group sets and I’ve founded when I was giving energy in sets and interesting in conversing with everyone my results with attractive women did go up as a result . Zan said in his 21 convention speech that every woman has beauty – because their parents will see them as a 10 and that’s a fair enough point. I agree in respecting everyone – I’ve seen a lot of arrogant guys in the field that “only approach 10s” and the reality is they end up approaching no one and get stuck in a stubborn arrogant rut. 

    Conclusions: 

    One amazon review described Zan as a great guy, a very likeable person but a so-so as a writer I think that sums him up pretty well – Zan seems to be stuck in a poetic passion for women in this book and doesn’t seem to be self aware enough to understand that this might confuse some of his readership – I certainly found myself drifting off mid way through the book- waiting for a lay report or some interesting date stories but it never seems to happen – all in all this was confusing for me – but Zan’s passion is evident a more simplification and better writing style and I think he could’ve had the potential to write a “The Game” or James Marshall’s “A Natural History” but he lacks the ability and for beginners and those not into a Victorian England Poetic writing style this will be a tough slog and will be unlike any of the lay reports that the likes of Liam Mcrae Tom Torero or Nick Krauser write about. I still admire Zan as an individual and believe his 21 convention speeches hold great value, he also has done good reddit AMAS but in this book he seems trapped in his poetic passion for women in a way that makes it somewhat impractical to explain his seduction style or give good advice. Overall if you’re looking for something to ramp up your  passion in women then this might be good for you – if not then just watch Zan’s 21 convention speeches – I believe other 21 convention speakers like Marshall, Liam Mcrae, Tom Torero  wrote great books that added a lot of extra value on-top of their fantastic 21 convention speeches. In Zan’s case it’s different- his book brings about nothing new that his speeches don’t already cover- there’s not much extra insight here and its a lot harder to follow than his speeches – overall that’s what makes this a big miss for me. 

    Score 4/10 

    To buy – The Alabaster Girl- https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-The-Alabaster-Girl/dp/B0BX4MTGML/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2QTGXVO344KHZ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.7ATo4THEHebjIBGVdw5yCg.Y_8PK6aca4z63Mu2EoaW8fIEIKdfH30Llr6BreiKA68&dib_tag=se&keywords=zan+perrion+the+alabaster+girl&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1730787692&sprefix=zan+perrion+the+alabaster+gi%2Caps%2C353&sr=8-1

    https://www.amazon.com/Audible-The-Alabaster-Girl/dp/B0BX4MSSVP/ref=sr_1_1?crid=16STPYU10F6DG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.M43n-reOsHN72ncyojurF9FgXU18pfUYjyn-W05Ka6ELVktoVBfoAabQSfvBGQv4L45AjOA_hbqwJSxg_esw6LOC564Lj93fsbgkoJDQ6qc-SkEPx4D6oVO6E4GO4ckKUfL1h6tda5KAzGdcafrw9rpvCb2Jwlo2lM7nlNb9KjVXED1uSpEysGrEoEggTsqOLX7JlZkV6AkQ7X_wryvs2acJwSJ6LO1j0yTXlUTUXqk.NDecTsv7T4aqztjycZKsvSjNo5ZPNlzRpj7tzhj1PqQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+alabaster+girl&qid=1730787741&sprefix=the+alabaster+%2Caps%2C420&sr=8-1

  • Tanner Guzy – The Appearance of Power: How Masculinity is Expressed Through Aesthetics (2017) Book Review

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    As far as I am aware there’s never been a real pivotal men’s self development fashion coach up until I saw Tanner’s first ever speech at the 21 convention which was around 2017 or 2018 I can’t remember when exactly . Tanner comes across in these speeches as well spoken , seems to live an active lifestyle with numerous hobbies and business successes which I listed in my other blog post analysing him here-  https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/10/28/were-dating-relationship-coaches-ever-a-sustainable-career-path-an-analysis-part-1-sasha-daygame-liam-mcrae-james-marshall-tanner-guzy-tom-torero-where-are-they-now/

    He has endured a lot – the passing of his brother and two gut wrenching divorces that has lead him to having to fight for the custody of his 6 children – despite his big successes in business, his hundreds of thousands of youtube views I wouldn’t want to be in his position now – he’s often bigged up marrying young and starting families young but with two divorces behind his belt it’s tough to see whether or not his ideas hold up. He seemingly has a lot of religious delusion on his instagram which as a middle eastern atheist who fled religious persecution to come to the UK I’ve personally had enough of people who used religion to come “save them” or help them to go through a divorce when the reality is they just married an ungrateful hoe that they shouldn’t have. Which is the way I view Tanner Guzy’s marriage – after the millions of YouTube views , the seemingly 7 figures of revenue he generated and 6 children his woman still divorced him? Seems fucking nuts and why am I talking about this in a book review well to show men’s self development coaches can still lead tough lives even when it seems they can do no wrong or even when they achieve a lot. It also shows the dangers of religious delusion –  the come back of the conservative Mormon Christian even with success attributed to a higher power divorces can still loom and let’s face it – nearly all men’s self development coaches seem to be in divorces nowadays whether it be Neil Strauss, Tom Torero , Nick Krauser , Mystery, James Marshall , Anthony Johnson – the list is endless and does beg the question where to men turn to for long term relationship success when the coaches themselves can’t find one? Of course this has little to do with the book content but this is a PUA blog – I am going to skew my analysis based on a dating/PUA perspective.

    I think Tanner’s value to the manosphere is definitely undoubtedly there . I mean for too long men have seen dress as effeminate  – gay or whatever – personally I struggled with fashion up till age 20 when a woman in my university class said I dressed like shit- she was right. I actually got bullied a fair bit for my poor dress at university – often by other women who’d accuse my clothes and style as being trampy and in high school when I tried to make a matching uniform or something that looked good I’d get called “gay” by other men. 

    What I think this book lacked was actual examples of where fashion could make a difference- despite offering some experiments and analysis . From a pua perspective ( and I know tanner an’t no pua fanboy) but there have been interesting studies comparing how women see an average guy well dressed compared to a male model in a McDonald’s outfit- I think Tanner could’ve done something like that to serve as an important example but he doesn’t which for me was disappointing . Sasha Daygame and James Marshall once ran infield together in which Sasha himself saw an improvement in results when he wore better clothes showing the positives of a proactive case study with real life results and action in the field

    “Of course cues and classifications can be worn but they’re always going on in the background . It’s up to us to use the conscious , intentional parts of our brain to override or adhere to the signals we/re picking up on from everyone around us.”  – In many ways he picks up perfectly how women usually react when someone approaches them in a daygame or  night game situation – women are constantly scanning and are programmed to look for any perceived signals of threat – I’d argue they are more conscious and  better pre programmed to determine these  things than men- so how you act, your posture and of course your fashion can definitely come into play towards winning rapport and minimising risk of blow outs.

    Tanner discusses experiences in the books and discusses “Enclothed Cognition” and how it can help our own perception of ourselves – with the main conclusion being “that we can draw from the studies that the influence of wearing a piece of clothing depends on both its symbolic meaning and the physical experience of wearing clothes”  Showing that those who wore a doctor’s jacket were able to focus their minds as a result of wearing the garment- I definitely agree here – for me personally better clothing helped boost my confidence and self esteem – often I found poorly dressed wingmen or pua’s often had the most issues with their game and lacked the most self awareness- indeed when I was a virgin and struggling with dating my dress sense was horrific and I looked feasibly lost and low in confidence . When I changed my style and added a bit more muscle my night game  results in 2013-2016 definitely saw a significant improvement-  I got more makeouts and actually ended up losing my virginity in 2014 aged 21 – had I dressed better earlier on in my life I think  I would’ve had at least some tangible benefit in my dating life – although my approach anxiety was still the main problem and the self hurt I felt after dealing with rejection – the mental burden of having to approach a lot once I got that under control clothing definitely enhanced my game. I also grew up in England where I’d say the attitude towards dress was pretty lazy- in the summers I spent them in the South Of France at my Parent’s flat there men there were generally better dressed. 

    When I started doing daygame in late 2017 I realised how much better dressed foreign women were compared to the English ones who I approached during night game when I was at  university  in Manchester –  there was a stark difference and from my 2nd ever daygame lay – a Taiwanese woman I really appreciated how well she took care of her appearance. Something that I never thought about in high school – maybe because the men and women around me dressed so plainly or because any sign of looking after your dress was seen or depicted as effeminate or maybe we generally lack direction in the West when it comes to looking after ourselves.

    In fact in London most of the white English females had been displaced – replaced by Chinese students, Hong Kongers, Arabs and Russians predominately – all these cultures seemed to dress a hell of a lot better than Canadians,Americans and of Course the British.  Maybe the west has lost its umpfh – even during my times travelling around the US where the majority of my family live I saw a lot of wealthy individuals poorly dress and seemingly given up on their own health. In contrast the Russians , Chinese , Arabs seemed more appearance conscious and immaculately dressed in London – something I always appreciated while doing daygame in London in fact the interactions with these cultures motivated me to take my fashion more seriously and look after my health more . Again a benefit of PUA and cold approach is it opens you up to cultures that you were destined to meet – as a middle eastern man living in London with social circles predominantly made up of caucasians and Middle Easterners I never really appreciated the beauty of dressing well until I approached women that themselves looked after their appearance – which is more predominant in cultures outside the west in my opinion.

    Tanner is quick to point out though that “ Dressing well and having good body language won’t make up for being socially incompetent , morally corrupt , or emotionally stunted” Of course from a daygame perspective you’re going to have to have other components nailed down. Just being well dressed isn’t going to draw women into you unless you’re on a beach in Thailand – Pataya maybe it might bring the odd gold-digger here and there but It doesn’t guarantee you anything – I know well dressed wings, rich wings even handsome wings who’ve struggled because their other components of game weren’t in place. Being socially incompetent or emotionally stunted is also a big turn off for a lot of women – of course daygame tends to attract a lot of autistic individuals in particular people with Asperger’s who even with good dress are seemingly fucked when the woman realises that the man in question is emotionally incompetent. Not to say autistic individuals can’t succeed in daygame- but a lot of them have the deck stacked against them. 

    “ A woman’s beauty becomes a subconscious way for men to jockey for position and status amongst ourselves” Definitely see it as a fair point especially analysing this from a pua perspective – women’s beauty is defiantly something to strive for for men – in black and white terms – as Tanner says we believe the best man gets the hottest girl  – he dwells into a bit of comparison to the importance of appearance in men and women- the differences in value that both bring here- nothing transformative and a little a kin to Rollo Tomassi’s Rational male but still decent. 

    Tanner is against  women dressing men because they have different objectives  – I am personally not – in fact in 2014 – I had my female uni class mate style me and my night game results improved drastically and I stopped being insulted by women for the way I dressed but I was actually receiving compliments on my dress sense for the first time in my life at 21. Of course it depends on the woman who dresses you- in 2021 I dated a fashion stylist from South China – Guangzhou and she did an immaculate job in dressing me well and this once again improved the results and compliments I got from how I was perceived by other women. A good percentage of  day gamers I met  say around 50 percent were poorly dressed and didn’t have any female friends to redirect or improve this facet of their lives and I believe they could’ve done with any sort of stylist which would have markedly improved their situation – I see it as a “better than nothing “ situation.  In James Marshall’s book “ a natural history” James discusses how his best wingmen were always immaculately dressed and compliments them on how the influence of said wingmen help him . Liam Mcrae’s old YouTube videos were also an influence of my fashion when he talks about investing in expensive clothing which can pay off in the long run and the importance of good fashion – he also documents how in his early life his poor quality fashion and image cost him dates and caused him flakes. The Natural Lifestyles actually had a female stylist who’s before and after YouTube videos on TNL students had a pretty obvious she had a positive effect .  Overall the influence on men’s style whether it be from a female or a male can be positive from a Pua perspective and if you have females in your social circle they can be invaluable to dressing you and I’d say most women in the UK have a better direction in terms of dressing well than men especially in the pick up artist scene.  

    Tanner Makes a good point midway through the book: 


    “ From a purely rational perspective – the man who looks more physically imposing may not be smarter, more qualified, or better suited for a given task, but our DNA runs deep and that Halo Effect we discussed earlier is very real. By looking stronger and more imposing , you will be given more deference, authority, respect and admiration..” 

    I think this points out to the importance of ascetics in Pua- it won’t  guarantee you by any means but it will make life a lot easier if you dress better – you will most likely get less blow outs too if you have a good physique – women will most likely trust you more. This doesn’t mean getting a six pack is going to get you laid all the time-  but it does make life easier for you-  certainly I realised my results drastically improved when I improved my dress. 

    Tanner goes through some interesting concepts like colours and their contrasts, I can’t really comment on this stuff as I am a big newbie when it comes to this sort of thing but it for newbies this is helpful and somewhat innovative as I believe the majority of wingmen in the Pua space never really had their fashion together or understood the importance of colour contrasts and how that could help their outfits. 

    In the last chapter of the book Tanner is against the outsourcing of your style- but for me personally having benefited from being dressed by women I’ve dated who worked as stylists I disagree- and in the Pua space most men dress so poorly and have no sense of identity with who they are that outsourcing it alone to female friend would be a big  improvement on what they are doing now .  I think most men really don’t give a shit and even a lot of dating coaches like Sasha Daygame or Nick Krauser never really dressed that well – Tom Torero himself had the leather jacket fuck boy look which most of the London daygame model followed everyone seemed to have more or less the same identity and could’ve done with someone to push them into a different direction. I think some people who like mannequin’s for a stylist could still look better than the majority of people out there in the Pua-sphere. 

    Tanner concludes with some important points regarding the consistency principle “One of the reasons improving ourselves can be so difficult is because we see any major change not as progress but as inconsistency”  – Again this can be applied to a Pua’s journey- once I started doing daygame I was seen as different from my friendship peers- when I started dressing better I wasn’t judged so much at university in comparison to high school when I was taunted as being “gay” when I tried to make some effort with my outfit- as a result of those taunts I never put any efforts into my dress till I was about aged 20.  Tanner also highlights that a lot of men are Hard wired to resist the kind of drastic change in people’s own lives “ Rather than recognise it for the improvement that it is , we retire back to our desire for consistency- even if we try to hide our desire for comfort by the use of more noble sounding terms like “authenticity” and “individualism”” Again I’ve seen this excuse from dating coaches- Sasha Daygame himself never dressed well claiming he was being authentic- but his “authenticity” itself was just his weakness and lack of desire to change. He was a dating coach but wasn’t putting effort into his dress and obviously being lazy but used “authenticity” as an excuse not to improve – and I see a lot of spiritual individuals use God or being “authentic” as an excuse not to self improve. 

    Conclusions – 

    Overall this book is balanced well with a lot of ideas that can help budding pick up artists improve their fashion and guide them towards being better in the field. Tanner has something for every man in this book and whilst I disagree with his ideology on marriage and religion I think he offers a lot of value. There’s never been a male “fashion influencer” in the men’s self development space. Tanner is the first to be this and he does the job well- aside from some shitty advice on marriage and religion  on instagram I think he adds a lot of value. Is it oversimplified at times? Maybe but equally his discussion on men’s taste- chapter 10  does seem overcomplicated at least from my perspective .  I think Tanner is worth following on instagram to reinforce the ideas and create inspiration for men to maintain their fashion and their looks because those attributes do make a difference in Pua whether we like them or not and for some newbies that I met in the Tom Torero meet-up in 2019 I felt a lot of beginner daygamers could do with basic fashion improvements and that said improvements would lead to plausible improvements in their dating results – some may require guidance and convincing though and I believe Tanner’s book maybe just the tonic they need.

    Score: 8/10

    To buy “The Appearance of Power” By Tanner Guzy – https://www.amazon.com/Appearance-Power-Masculinity-Expressed-Aesthetics/dp/1979138400

    UK Link- https://www.amazon.co.uk/Appearance-Power-Masculinity-Expressed-Aesthetics-ebook/dp/B0778QQWQC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=5E8UO1KGMSXB&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.AFccrJgfslNP9PHFKu_aciZQC-J4xvHNQu2AUZllzRA.vBK2tUVKcj5TJ1ZbhhP3yWrEySvRzqb2eRJZZPQkj1Y&dib_tag=se&keywords=tanner+guzy&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1730714584&sprefix=tanner+guzy+%2Caps%2C366&sr=8-1

  • Were Dating/Relationship Coaches ever a Sustainable career path – An Analysis: Part 1-Sasha Daygame, Liam McRae, James Marshall, Tanner Guzy , Tom Torero Where are they now?

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Sasha Daygame

     I will probably write a separate blog post on spirituality and daygame sometime in the near future. But most people in the dating world should be well aware of Sasha daygame’s impact.  Whilst some people on SoSauve and the Skilled Seducer forums dislike him for being too immature , dressing badly and overly being an excessive lunatic at times it’s undoubtable that he had a big impact on the men’s dating world . His 21 convention speeches are still widely well received clocking up 100ks of views and its hard to detest that he didn’t have a positive impact. 

    Despite his poor dress and grooming Sasha Daygame’s. talks are still widely received with positive acclaim

    But he still retired 2016ish and would often go heavily down the spiritual bath- I think some of his ideas like purchasing bitcoin were good and added genuine value. But his constant obsession with spirituality now, his poor dress and general woo woo religious demeanour makes him hard to take seriously now.  I’d say Sasha Daygame was one of the influences who actually drove me away from religion – through him I saw spirituality as an excuse somewhat for laziness and lack of maturity. You’d think after being in the dating game for 20 years he’d learn to dress well.

    Sasha Appears to Look pretty woeful in this 2023 picture of him

    But whatever you think of Sasha he racked up the views, he had great entrepreneurship success with James Marshall , Liam McRae and the rest of the natural lifestyles. I definitely agree with him on Covid being a scam- he promoted bitcoin during it’s infancy however he did recently dm me promoting shitcoins which i thought was a bit strange.

    Sasha Daygame Promoting shitcoins in my DM in 2024

    Success or No?

    Most likely yes- I don’t think he is an elite daygamer by any means but someone who at least put himself out there- all be it I believe his popularity was more due to the lack of competition in dating coaching rather than his ability or skillset plus his whacky demeanour was very marketable . He seems to have declined physically somewhat and turned into a spiritual loon akin to Roosh V – would I like to end up like this? Most simply no.

    Tom Torero

    An example of maybe taking things to far- but then again he was dedicated . Torero was dominating the daygame scene from 2010 onwards and continued to make content up until his death in late 2021 through his podcasts and now deleted youtube channel .  Again his career path gave him the fame but taking it so seriously probably is what ended up killing the man.  Maybe his dedication to making supreme content was a little bit too much- after all voice  recording the moment you take a Polish girl’s virginity can come across as excessive . Did he deserve death for this? No but the media campaign killed his mode of income with his  PayPal and WhatsApp being canceled. I cover his death to a greater extent here:  https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/06/08/assessing-tom-toreros-death-two-years-on-thoughts/

    Maybe if he was a little bit better at covering his tracks and knowing the direction the media were taking against PUA and daygame especially the crusade they’ve been on since 2018 but he didn’t really do enough and as a result once the main stream media found out about everything his career and livelihood was f’ed.  Showing the work ethic and dedication  to be one of the world’s best day gamers was what finished him off eventually showing that this is not really a “you get what you put in “ career path-  the more content you seemingly make the more vulnerable you are open to attack from the MSM. 

    Success or Not ?

    Arguably anyone who choses to off himself is a tragic ending- he inspired thousands and leads a legacy today even in his death. Still on the pua blogs and men’s self development forums many people discuss his ideas and his influences. His influence is undoubted – but even having lots of women was seemingly not enough to save him. Maybe a tragic example of the limitations of dating coaching in the modern world – or simply don’t record infield that leaves you vulnerable to a MSM attack. I’d say he was a resounding success given the influence he had on many of my wingmen but still a sad story nonetheless- I don’t think we will ever get a “New Tom Torero” or any leader of the dating realm with such an inspiring work ethic as him .

    Yad Daygame

    Everyones favourite obese Iranian Kurd – Yad was a phenomenon in the early 2010s – he announced his retirement at some stage between 2021-2022 Im not to sure of the exact year. He drew a name for himself of being a fat ugly obese guy that was able to pick up chicks – an inspiration to many average /below average looking guys that men with low SMV had the ability to date out of their league. His background majoring in a degree  from Royal Holloway – he’s seen as an icon of the London Daygame model- He was an example that looks are an excuse- a man with a relentless drive and work ethic. 

    There are videos on the net that mock him and his playful attitude but I still see him as an inspiration to PUA community whilst I feel its somewhat uninspired and misled is this fallacy that low smv men can consistently date out of their league in areas where the competition is tough. Im yet to really see something like this that can honestly convince me this is true  all things considered – is there an example of truly ugly men that have thrived in the dating world – most the mainstream coaches all had some value to some degree- whether it be a British passport (which Yad does have) or height , some sort of handsome looks when you look at James Marshall and Paul Janka. There’s always at least SOMETHING there for the coaches to have had. I m yet to see a credible dating coach come from the third world and really thrive- Yad still has some smv in that he’s a British Citizen and reasonably well educated. Maybe his disadvantages could be misleading to some people in thinking you can be a lazy slob and be good at pickup? On the other hand it showed that people with disadvantages could still get results even with a competitive dating environment. 

    The fact that he retired could have been an indication that he was either A. Tired of doing daygame having approached chicks for decades. B. The Rise of the me too movements may have killed the momentum and made it harder for him to get clients. C. The rise of the red pill made it harder to market a fat bum as someone who could date and fuck hot chicks. D. The revenue and interests in dating coaches isn’t there as much as it once was ( and James Marshall’s declining sales prove this) It could have been a combination of the 4 but  I see it as no coincides that the timing of his retirement coincided with the fall of RSD, The fall of Tom Torero and the decline in TNL. Of course I don’t have Yads website data so I have no clue what’s really going on – most of this blog is just blindness -ill thought out speculation any. 

    Success or Not?

    I’d say he’s a success – he maybe ridiculed now but he cashed in and made bang for his buck and seemingly left the industry unscathed other than a few online trolls. The guy was at least proactive and set an example for below average guys to actually do something and get out there.

    Liam McRae

    Honestly i see Liam McRae as the dating coach ideal- he came – sold a bunch of high ticket coaching to clients and left and seemingly married a model out of his daygame ventures – he is the ideal that we aspire to in the dating world . I have discussed Liam at Length in previous posts discussing his published books here: https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/10/25/liam-mcrae-rapid-escalation2013-book-review/

    Liam McRae: The Limitless Seducer Book Review
    Liam’s Wife Jessic_enqvist commenting on Liam’s IG

    Probably one of the few examples were a dating coach has succeeded and done what he set out to do – improve his dating results and settle down and marry a hot model wife . His two books Rapid Escalation and The Limitless Seducer were massive influences of mine as well as his Youtube content (which is now all deleted though) He lived the dream – the proof is in the pudding and as far as I am aware Liam is a desert buffet.

    Success or Not

    I guess from every perspective he’s a success in my eyes however one could argue the fact that most his content is no longer around is a shame but I guess it was his choice and probably a wise one to protect him and his partner from future media ridicule akin to Tom Torero.

    James Marshall

    The Natural Lifestyles fan or not it’s hard to disregard the impact of James Marshall even though his company isn’t making as many sales as it once was he built a fantastic team , garnered a very respectable 350k Youtube subs and accumulated millions of views . Bouncing back from divorce and 6 figure loses in business James has shown an incredible mental fortitude and resilience to build what he’s built. His book and 21 convention speeches are by far the most impactful content of dating I’ve ever watched in my life and I highly recommend them: https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/10/12/james-marshalla-natural-history-the-seduction-journals-of-james-marshall-book-review/

    The majority of my wingmen too have enjoyed his content although some argue he’s a very goodlooking guy that has some what used his looks to garner dating success and i think this is a decent argument but he still put the work in doing 1000s of approaches nonetheless.

    Success or No?

    Despite his current business issues which i talked about here :https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/06/05/assessing-the-fall-of-james-marshalls-the-natural-lifestyles/

    He was able to make dating coaching his sustainable career for something like 20 years or so undoubtedly I consider James Marshall a success by most means. He has a farm in Portugal, a flat in Budapest and has lived a life full of adventure it’s hard to think of someone who’s made better monetary success from pickup ( Simple Pickup aside ) His wingmen the likes of Liam Mcrae, Alex Leon, James Mclean, Tony Solo , Sasha Daygame , Robbie Kramer , John Thomsen , all have had positive influences in the dating world today arguably all of these people have been heavily influenced by James’ mentorship. He not only is a fantastic daygamer but one who was able to pass off his knowledge successfully to others.

    Tanner Guzy

    Everyone’s favourite Christian Mormon of the manosphere Tanner Guzy comes onto the list – look I know he’s not a dating coach per say but he still falls under the category of a man’s lifestyle coach most notably in teaching men how to dress – i still see his work as an invaluable example for men to improve their baseline smv something which a lot of my wingmen have struggled in the past has been the basic dress sense. Whilst he is twice divorced he has achieved a huge amount in his life already having some 6 children ( a men’s development coach with actual children who’d have thought), earning millions in coaching revenue, hundreds of thousands of youtube views , ted talks and a decent book release all whilst dealing with the burden of the death of his older brother is extremely impressive. A great example of mental grit and grind in the face of adversity for sure.

    Success or Not?

    In terms of entrepreneurship and impact an undoubted success – although him encouraging men to marry young does grind my gears- and i think his two divorces prove the threat of following a male influencer who’s promoting the idea of marriage whilst getting pounded by divorce after divorce . Religion and Pua just don’t mix – i think this guy could’ve dated a lot better had he waited and built his value first then got married however he’s stated countless times his children have been a huge motivation towards his success.

  • The plight of Men v Women Dating in The Western World 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Wrote the article to discuss the advantages and disadvantages for men and women in the modern dating world – while most men in the manosphere believe that women hold all the cards i’d put out some other views to balance out why this may not necessarily be the case all the time – although i tend to agree women seem to have the upper hand in nearly every aspect of the modern era of dating.

    Women’s Disadvantages in the Modern Era of Dating: 

    • Religion instilling limiting believes and problems – religion has always been problematic when it came to the viewpoint on relationship dynamics between men and women and I believe with women in conservative countries religion can get in the way often repressing them from reaching their true SMV Potential. 

    Having travelled extensively around Saudi Arabia and UAE I saw how religion would come to repress women most notably my stories in Jazan in Saudi where I spoke and met women who felt that their city and their religion were repressing their sexual desires and stopped them from dating the men  they wanted to. They felt incapable of dating the men they wanted and were seemingly stuck in a difficult plight due to their geographical isolation from the rest of the world. Not that religion can’t harm women in the west- it can certainly breed delusion and cause women to miss out on dating opportunities due to their conservatism . 

    The big  debate -whether religion protects women from harm of whoring out or denies them the opportunity to date men they genuinely desire – in my opinion you could make a case for either – some women will simply never know if the grass is greener or not and some conservative women may end up losing opportunities due to choosing to delay sex- I know many of my wingmen stopped dating certain religious and conservative women after they found out they were religious and weren’t keen on sex.  With some aspects of the manosphere criticising high body count females – deeming them sluts and disgusting whilst wanting to quickly fuck the women they themselves date it seems the balance is non existent. If women abstain from sex they themselves risk out on potential high smv men who seek the women who give sex away the easiest but then if they give sex away easy they risk being used and dumped by the fuck boy alphas. Its a tough balance and one that at times can be unfair on women .

    • Danger on Dates/ Stalkers 

    Obviously women face a lot of risk on dates – during my time dating them I saw examples of women I dated who incurred moments when they were nearly raped by Turkish and Kuwaiti men- the risks associated of dating certain races of men who can overly pressure them for sex is very real. Whilst men who daygame regularly don’t really run the risk of getting raped women can easily get raped and murdered on dates. Not that it happens often in London I am aware of examples of it happening- dating a psycho man can be the end of a woman’s life in some situations and it can be extremely hard for women to find men they can trust particularly certain races of men or dating in cultures were sexual assault/rape is more common like Africa and The middle East. 

    • Age and Declining SMV 

    As Nick Krauser showed as women age and reach their 30s-40s the decline in their smv can be apparent of course this can be maintained through fashion, surgery, diet and health maintenance so it isn’t exactly the be all and end all. Of course this depends as certain races like Blacks and Asians can maintain their age a lot easier than white Russians for example . Although both races can use surgery, gym etc. to maintain health. What those things can’t prevent is egg and fertility deterioration which can be very apparent with women and something that can’t be escaped. Men’s sperm along with good health habits can be maintained into their 60s but for women its a tougher fight to preserve fertility- egg freezing can be one way but it can be a painful procedure and doesn’t result in optimal young.  

    • More to do with Less Time 

    Women have to get their degrees, find a good partner before their eggs get fucked and move up the work ladder all at a young age – the maturity required from women is usually greater than men as they face a lot of challenges hitting them at once. They can’t like men just start dating in their 30s by that age they need to settle down and with hook up culture rising the odds of finding someone to commit to them is lower than ever before – with marriage rates declining globally it puts another layer of pressure on women along with their declining fertility and career ambitions. The plight is tough and the time for failed relationships is extremely limited . The wrong relationship with the wrong man can eat into valuable time during their peak years- I’d argue men have more time for fuck ups than women do on average with women having far more of the selection but hey a fuck up is a fuck up and time is of the essence if children are desired . Regardless of how many options either sex has one needs to make an effort and role with it. 

    Pressure of Sex from the Sugar Daddies 

    Whilst online dating has definitely been more Advantageous to women – the pressure of sex may increase from those offering to fly women out which in turn can create issues. Nothing comes for free and women who are paid and flown out on dates usually face having to put up to get what they want in return effectively turning them to quasi modern prostitutes . Even what might seem like freedom and desire from men sometimes this shit can have consequences for the women which isn’t often talked about.  Something that Rollo Talks about in his rational male series 

     “ The global sexual marketplace – how globalisation isn’t just about economics or demographics- globalisation is also applies to intersexual dynamics. …. Today with our instant, robust , forms of digital communication, a worldwide sexual marketplace has now opened up with a romantic prospects of virtually anyone on the planet earth and a smartphone and a internet connection. Don’t like your prospects in your hometown? Now there’s a whole world of men and women waiting to meet you”  Rollo Tommasi – The Rational Male

    The problem with this theory is two fold and one which Nick Krauser already discussed in his interview with Rollo yes online dating has given women power but with this power does still come risks of them having to give away sex to men whom they don’t know about – in the case of a female Czech friend she once nearly got raped by her Kuwaiti sugar daddy and again by a Turkish one- one Hong Konger I dated also nearly got raped by her Turkish bumble date. Of course these are just one off examples – but the online world doesn’t guarantee smooth sailing for women – it involves the trust of unknown men who could still be psychos who can still have distinct problems only difference being is they are rich  . 

    Also for some women geographic repression still very much exists and the likelihood of them dating largely out of their league in some cases is still tough – A Thai woman living in rural Thailand most likely will have to search for bottom of the barrel Western men who may have additional problems with themselves . Sometimes it could be they are socially inadequate, have autism disorders , maybe alcoholics , weight issues or just purely old- it’s still not exactly smooth sailing for women as much as Rollo describes there are still chances for women to fuck up and be in bad situations only now the choice is larger and the opportunities are more. Although for some women of course there are more than others. 

    • Declining number of “real men”  – decline in SMV is very really amongst most men this can take the form of lower testosterone – men being poisoned by blue light , glysophate, sugar  and various other poisons that can cause lo testosterone and SMV decline .  Also men are more prone to video game , porn addictions of the like which can diminish SMV and cause low T and a loss of self confidence. 
    • As men become more feminised it becomes harder for women to find real men – men’s suicide rate is rising and mental health declining therefore showing a decline in high quality mates for women. Men’s sperm quality has never been this low and their testosterone has never been so low at anytime in their history than now . Putting a layer of pressure and competition for the top quality “masculine men”  Men are more inundated with porn and addictions that dehumanise and ruin relationships which pre 1960s and the porn era were no where near as big a problem as they are now. 
    • The rise in ai taking away a lot of men’s jobs also contributes to men’s incomes declining which puts another layer of pressure of women to find a decent provider which is declining as men’s incomes are in many major western countries around the world. 
    • Not every Woman can win – I mean think about it mathematically for a second not every woman can date a multi millionaire – or high earning man , online dating and todays competitive dating era has led a large amount of women to fight for a select group of scarce group of men causing more intense competition – simply put not every woman in the world can date the elite powerful high value men- some will lose this fight – its brutal capitalism at the end of it . The “abundance” mindset is really a self help myth- real top value is hard to find and hard to maintain.
    • More cowardly men- approaching is now rarer than ever in most nations – men have become pussies- so women hoping for someone to have an actual pair of balls well those balls are declining in quantity globally as testosterone becomes more scarce. 
    • Women’s testosterone is higher than ever can sometimes result in them fucking up their attractiveness and turning crazy liberal or overly masculine which may cost them good dating opportunities without being cognisant of it.
    • Men’s Autism Rates are rising- on average it is estimated the young men have 5 times the rates of autism as women due to environmental issues. The result – a generation of men with increasing low sexual market value than prior – not saying autistic men can’t date well but they certainly have their work cut out for themselves  – on average autistic men are slower to gage social interactions and struggle to main LTRs. This- seemingly will only lead to a larger amount of men being inadequate to date and a smaller pool that are financially and cognitively good enough for women. 

    Advantages FOR Women in the Modern Era of Dating. 

    • Online dating- has given women a vast ray of access to men around the world , endless attention and the opportunity for hypergamy has never been easier – a high value attractive 20 year old woman can have the world her oyster- be flown out around the world through the touch of an app now.  This is probably the biggest advantage that women that have they can go to cities and glen 1000s of matches and have nearly infinite options – the opportunity really is endless for half decent looking women online and they don’t have to face the loneliness that the majority of men have . Hypergamy has never been easier for women than today . 
    • Divorce courts giving more advantages to women in the west- I can only  speak for  the west because I am not an expert on international law but divorces can be profitable experiences for women and the majority of women end up getting custody of the kids – this flips on its head in Asia where divorce courts seemingly favour the men over the women. 
    • Women tend to mature a hell of a lot faster than men and get that advantage of opening into more high quality social circles from 18 onwards thanks to online dating- they no longer need to hang around low value smv men of their own age they can quickly seek out the viable mates through instagram and online dating  . Heck even women who live in impoverished parts of places like Thailand have opportunities to find high value husbands now thanks to online dating and apps . A Thai girl living in the rural area now has access to ten’s of thousands of European men dming her on online dating websites- something seemingly unthinkable 50 years ago. 
    • Global travel ensures a good percentage of women can go to where they are most valued – I mean this is an advantage for both genders but modern day a Russian model can move to London or New York and get all the shit she wants to a degree . Even if she gets divorced, ends up a single mother theres 1000s of males on online apps she can move onto. There are far less consequences in todays era for women’s mistakes when for example being a single mother In the 1990s would’ve been a lot tougher to get back out there due to lack of dating apps. (This is one example but you get the gist ) 

    Advantages for Men in the Modern dating era. 

    • Global travel meaning men can move to areas where their sexual market value is highest. Having a tough time in the west? Move to south east Asia/Latin America  and things will become significantly easier  . The passport bro era can be an easy cop out of the overly competitive western cities. Of course men need to be cogniscent
    • Still men can get scammed – of course there are examples of men in Low competitive countries being scammed on dating apps- most notably the American tourist https://people.com/american-in-colombia-lured-death-dating-app-prosecutors-4-suspects-charge-8547356 seemingly a lot of men are still naive when using dating apps – often falling victim to scams from women sometimes costing them their life.
    • More PUA content than ever and its all free. Like literally – there is so much free content out there more than ever before- men have access to communities and more information than ever before about how to enhance their dating lives such a thing wouldn’t have been available in the 1990s for example.
    • Men have more time to make mistakes- men mature slower and that hurts but for old men the situation is still salvageable with a decent work ethic and persistence . Of course time without action is nothing and men do need to spend a lot of that time improving smv as well- so this is certainly up for debate-
    • Men’s fertility usually lasts longer- an obvious one but men don’t have to worry about “hitting the wall” the potential to have kids is usually there for men into their later 50s and even 60s whereas for women when the eggs are gone they gone- freezing eggs only last a period of a few years and isn’t biologically optimal. 
    • Younger generation of men provide less competition than the younger generation of women. For example if you’re 30 and a new man enters the sexual market place at age 20 you usually won’t need to worry about said man due to the lack of SMV that young men posses – for women it’s different, a  30 year old woman can easily have her attention stolen by a 20 year old women and not recover from this- women have to be constantly aware of the competition coming from younger women. 

    Disadvantages for Men in Modern Dating Era 

    • Declining pua scene- less people approaching, less community, online dating certainly has damaged the community coming together and has created more independent groups of men in the dating sphere with a lot of men no longer coming together to date. 
    • Men’s jobs being taken from ai and technological advances at a faster rate than women’s jobs- jobs like truck driver, taxi driver – two small examples but these jobs getting eliminated will hurt men’s incomes more than women’s and as ai develops it seems on the face of it that men’s typical jobs will be harmed first and foremost- this can have a negative drain on men’s sexual market value. 
    • The mental draining of approaching – as a Man it’s your job to approach and dealing with the drain of rejection – dating is a lot more mentally intensive for most men – creating options is infinitely harder as a man and the mental burden of rejection seemingly moreso for the majority of men. This can drain willpower and the ability for men to progress in other areas of their life and be very time consuming .
    • Religion- My religious friends usually underachieve in dating – usually marrying someone because they are the same religion as theirs, Christian , buddhist or jew I just don’t see religion as an advantage to men in dating.  If anything religion just serves as a ploy for hypergamy for women. 
    • Men’s Slower Maturity – for me personally at school I was very slow to mature mentally despite going to a pretty fancy private school I still didn’t really socially improve until my early 20’s , mainly due to porn and video game addiction I found my brain over stimulated between the ages of 14-20 – unable to communicate well and make real friends and actual good quality women I found a lot of men in a similar position at school and university. Women tend to have more options on average when they are younger and break into social circles a lot easier than men meaning they often mature at a far quicker rate whilst men have the tendency to get left behind.
    • Overstimulation of men – I mentioned a lot of these points in this blog post here:https://mindful-masculinity.org/2023/12/13/why-the-mens-pua-and-dating-self-development-scene-has-declined-so-much/ but yeah men are more addicted to porn, drugs and are more sducidal  than ever this obviously has negative impacts on the plight of men in the dating world. 
    • Bigger financial risk in marriage than ever before – the search for marriage as stability  is a big gamble for men nowadays – with men’s suicide post divorce going to new highs the gambles associated with forming a family and marriage are now higher than ever in the dating world for men.  This can lead to hesitation and children being bred later on in a man’s life meaning most men will have less time with their children than previous generations. 
    • More media resentment of PUA – Discussed in my article at detail here from Tom Torero’s death : https://wordpress.com/post/mindful-masculinity.org/314 I mean the chances of a pickup artist being cancelled is higher than ever before which has seemingly lead to a dearth of dating coaches. Most the guys that I grew up watching – Tom Torero, Sasha Daygame, Liam McRae, Roosh V, Yad,  Alan Roger Currie (now I don’t rate all these 6 as elite level but they still set a good example to young men in the dating  world) are now gone- the new era of dating coaches seem more aligned with Red Pill philosophy than actual improvement in cold approach and creating a better community of more proactive men. 
    • Men’s lower online dating options than women- no matter how value most men will be they will never get the sort of online attention a woman will- men are up against it online for sure in more ways than one.  Not to say it can’t be effective for some men but for the majority I deem it inadequate due to the sheer level of competition .
    • Geographic poverty harming men- I mean  for example a working class Thai male  is going to have a tougher Time to reach his dating goals than the same class of  Thai female – when it comes to achieving dating goals and objectives men in the third world have it harder than well anyone. Women in the third world can still use apps and dating websites to get themselves out of a rut- while Sugar mummy hunting can happen in places like Egypt – its certainly a lot rarer than what women in the third world can do. Of course there are still some women born in strict religious countries that are incapable of real hypergamy with their own free will due to religion or their surrounding society impacting them. 
    • Deep competition in the West leading to hoeflation – in my opinion from gaming in the east to west I’ve noticed American, Britain and Australia definitely have the highest rates of hoeflation – with a lot of attractive guys and a small pool of women – this usually leads to women dating out of their league more than the men . The opposite I found in the East for example China where I’d see average British men date simple stunners in China. 
    • Overstimulated -Tik Tok brain rot women – this leads to more boring dates although the same could be said from men who are addicted to video games and porn from a young age all in all both genders have struggled and have become victims of the overstimulation of the modern world often turning us more one dimensional and boring.

  • Richard Cooper: “The Unplugged Alpha” (2021) Book Review

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Richard Cooper steam rolled to success with 750k YouTube subscribers between 2017 and now – His book the unplugged alpha was lauded with popular ratings on amazon  but is this book really something that can be positive for men’s dating life? And has he milked huge popularity despite not being actually good at dating in-spite of his 750k subscriber count there’s no infield of him , no proof he’s dated even a 7 from pickup and there doesn’t seem to be much innovation about the things he talks about.

    Divorce Coaching Grift?

    Richard seemingly charges $997 for a 15 minute phone call  – has his divorce coach and divorce meet-up group which he charges an annual fee for – the man is milking other men who seem desperate for relationship guidance with himself someone who dated 2 single mothers in a row and had LTRs with them also . His success in dating seems almost non existent- you’re better off reading a Tom Torero book and just going out doing a few approaches then buying any of this crap. 

    Now you have to be some what retarded and have poor relationship management and approaching skills to date with 2 single mothers and have one shitty divorce. As far as relationship success goes I put him way below those of Tom Torero, Liam Mcrae, James Marshall , Simple Pickup and heck even poorly dressed Sasha Daygame trumps this guy .

    In terms of innovative thought most of his videos seem inspired the Rational Male rather than any of Richard Cooper’s unique dating perspectives- Most seem to be some alpha regurgitation of red pill/Self Improvement lingo. Again problematic – Richard doesn’t seem to have any real fixes for people’s dating life other than Alpha lingo and driving a car 68 miles in the 60 zone.

    My Problems with Richard Cooper’s 21 Convention Speech Entitled ” Be Better” : 

    Just reads as bullshit self-help to being with  “take action” where have we heard that one ? “No body owes you shit” Woo!  At 18:11 he calls about entrepreneurs and bullshit guys who sell products online- bit rich coming from someone who seemingly has no really entrepreneurship experience, no dating/daygame success yet now charging $1000 for a coaching call.  “ Take  a look  of the real results they actually get out of life” well take a look at Richard Cooper’s real results with women- 2 single mothers dated, one divorces- I can’t think of worse results than that. I’d rather be Yad running around Oxford street than have the relationships Richard Cooper was in. How has someone like this got 800k subs yet  someone who 10,000s of cold approaches in Nick Krauser got 5k subs and James Marshall got 350k subs . Again im overvaluing the daygame.com coaches here a fair bit obviously but its just hilarious how someone who’s achieved so little in dating can be so boastful about so little that he’s done .

    “You only have so many fucks to give , choose them wisely” I mean this again isn’t innovative – it’s just a “manly man” way of saying avoid decision fatigue.  Richard then gives a list of LTRs to avoid including those who are “drug and alcohol dependent ” again pretty obvious , again this is just all obvious self help bs that may seem profound but lacks real innovation coming form someone who has achieved so little in the dating world against the previous 21 convention speakers.

    His next piece showing that “unicorns don’t exist” seems ironic given that he himself doesn’t have much proof of successful LTRs – there are examples of good marriages and dating coaches that have had good LTRs , Robbie Kramer, Liam Mcrae and Paul Janka are three good examples of this and they’ve had legitimate dating success .  Seems that Richard is taking his own frustration of relationship failures and making broad based self help quotes and conclusions that don’t even make sense if you’ve had some daygame experience.

    Guys being cucked into paying large amount for Richard Cooper’s courses: 

    As mentioned before Richard seems to be shilling a divorce course at roughly $500 a piece and a patreon ,a book and various other products. It appears he’s taking full advantage on cashing in on men who’ve made similar relationship mistakes to that of him but the whole thing is pretty odd seeing as he has achieved so little in relationships and dating and yet- is making money now selling “red pill” products. Mix that in with a bit of Red Pill alpha male sayings and you have a recipe for a lot of hot air. Why is this guy a coach? what has he achieved? Did he just milk the bull run that was Rollo Tommasi’s red pill? It seems so . But what of the men who actually buy his shit- his patreon group has 150 subscribers – there are literally 150 people out there that will pay money from someone for dating advice off someone who’s dated two single mum’s . Its an unreal situation which doesn’t make sense. Richard has also pivoted to Crypto courses too (somewhat unsurprisingly seeing as all his business ventures seem to just be taking advantage of certain fads rather than showing any progress of his own in the dating world.) The classic “monthly subscription” course selling that so many contrapreneurs endeavour , patreon , crypto courses you name it Richard seemingly is involved.

    His last chapter goes into TRT therapy which can really fuck you up if done wrong. It seems once again misguided that someone won’t offer natural solutions to testosterone problems like sunlight, switching diet or eating oysters instead Richard goes full blown on recommending TRT which seems extreme for the majority of the audience.

    150 men seemingly pay $150 a month to learn from Richard – a guy with seemingly 0 dating skills

    Single Mum Heaven Monetised from Naive followers?

    The issue with the book from chapter 6 for an “alpha male” book there is so little success here- Richard seemingly dates 2 single mum’s falls for one, gets cheated on then ends up in another relationship with a 40 year old – hardly much to brag about in terms of successes . In fact i’d argue being in no relationship would be better than any of this shit. The fact that he’s managed to monetise this into 200 million views and 750k youtube subs is pretty unreal all things considered . Once again when I compare this to other legitimate dating coaches out there when you take into account the likes of James Marshall have 350k and Tom Torero had 80k before his channel got taken down Richard has seemingly done better to monetise his non existent skillset and seemingly not even getting a single daygame lay .

    Chase Excellence not Women

    I mean this another horrible piece of advice- for men being proactive about problems is VITAL . Spending too much time on self development can deter dating success. For me personally i achieved my best dating success from being proactive , consistent and approaching regularly. These aren’t things that Richard promotes in his book and I feel he is doing his followers a massive disservice here and instead results to plugging vague self help statements continually throughout his book and speeches- once you scratch beneath the surface there’s very little there

    Selling Divorce Courses on his own website Richard Cooper appears to be cashing in on men’s misery

    Concluding Thoughts:

    In many ways the rise of Richard Cooper has personified everything wrong with the current world of self help- instead of being an actual accomplished individual in dating he has been a monumental failure and he has seemingly taken advantage of the rise of the red pill to cash in on suspecting males who don’t seemingly know better. With divorce rates rising , men are probably being more drawn into his bs and that’s somewhat understanding as men are tribal they want leaders and see Richard Cooper’s no fucks image as attractive- I can somewhat understand why people fall for this shit. The self development scene has long lacked critical thinking and proper analysis and instead of following someone who’s actually getting daygame results people are inclined to follow Richard with his bad boy demeanour and fast cars. Who cares about women when you have a fast car and a pack of self help quotes . There’s no need to work hard or approach if I make quotes about hypergamy and ridicule women about how hard dating has become .

    Men’s dating sphere has seemingly regressed – we went from Tom Torero, James Marshall and Liam Mcrae – all people who actually dated good quality men to Richard Cooper who seemingly jumped from shit relationship to shit relationship and then wrote a book and sold courses relating to it. Maybe men are just procrastinating from really creating options for themselves and Richard Cooper’s book is one solution to read and procrastinate over actual approaching? I don’t know- anyhow this book is best avoided and Richard himself just isn’t anyone special for an aspiring daygamer or someone looking to improve their dating life as a whole.

    Score: 2/10

  • Liam McRae: Rapid Escalation(2013) Book Review

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    This book was written in the arguably the peak of TNL’s supremacy in 2010-2013 when James Marshall was gaining momentum thanks to his 21 convention speeches – Liam McRae appeared almost as a more mature Robin to his Batman. For those who’s Sasha Daygame method proved too wacky- Liam was a very relatable character to young buddying seducers. Myself I was drawn to Liam due to his authenticity in his writing style which comes across as articulate and honest . I think his approach to pick up is something that is deeply lacking in todays community which is one of a heavy reliance of online dating rather than people actually proactively going out and seducing women and doing something about their problems. Rereading this book in 2024 gave me a lot of nostalgia for that 2014-2018 era pickup – arguably The Natural Lifestyles were the ones who benefited most financially from that era with people moving away from the Yads, the Nick Kraussers and the Tom Torero’s of todays worlds and all in all opting for something more mature in Liam McRae and James Marshall. Whilst the likes of Yad and Tom Torero had their appeal for the low smv types of men I definitely saw Liam and James’ marketability towards those who had higher than average smv who were looking for a bit more connection in their interactions . 

    I’ve been personally influenced heavily by Liam. His now deleted YouTube videos were a huge motivation to me writing my social media guides and I argue his departure from TNL  had a huge negative impact on the company as whole in fact its pretty obvious his impact as a coach has been heavy on now TNL dating guru Alex Leon who at times looks almost exactly like Liam and seems a carbon copy of his ideas and influences. His 21 convention speech no longer exits so it’s hard for people to draw evidence nowadays on whether he was a good speaker or not but I believe he presented ideas well when speaking at 21 con . He’s also one of the few Puas that have been a success after retiring from pickup . Seemingly marrying a very attractive instagram model – he’s lived the pua dream and seemingly came out on top. What’s not to like? 

    His book is obviously heavily influenced by James Marshall as he starts with the 5 principles – some like it some hate it I find it pretty good but I know a chunk of London day gamers would despise it. He then starts by journalling rapid sex and intercourse with numerous women and similar to the Limitless Seducer documents the highs and lows of this experience.  He doesn’t even need logistics on some occasions he just bangs the girl in a club toilet . Now this might not be for everyone- some men  might prefer a bit more intimacy rather than banging a girl within 15-20 minutes akin to Liam’s style but still there are lessons to be learnt here in pulling the trigger and not being afraid of escalating. The fact that a lot of these seductions take place without proper logistics also can be appealable to those starting out on their pua journey in unfavourable circumstances like living with their parents . Of course banging in a toilet might seem disgusting to some and getting a hand job on a train like Liam does in another story in this book may seem a bit gross but again it can serve to crush limiting beliefs and install the mentality that success can come anywhere again the appeal  to the newbies is in the destroying of limiting beliefs rather than the erratic seductions themselves. 

    Of course there are parts in the book where the women get somewhat irritable with Liam – with some accusing him of using him of using them for sex when he confesses he’s in an open relationship to one of his daygame lays  – I feel this is where Liam and James are ultimately a little bit arrogant in their belief systems- they believe in liberal sex without consequences but somewhat deny that sex is an intensely deep act for a lot of women and a portion of said women don’t like to like being  used just for sex. Liam tries to justify this with the equality narrative- that both men and women should be free to fuck as much as they want but refuses to acknowledge that men and women with high body accounts typically aren’t great long term partners and I wonder if Liam McRae would himself would be happy to see his daughter pumped and dumped like that?

    Again this complaint happens from another conservative Iranian woman about 2/3rds of the way in a chapter entitled “Persian Godess” When Liam explains to the conservative Iranian girl he’s polyamorous she doesn’t take it well “ it would really hurt me if you were to fuck another girl. The thought of your dick inside me after it had been inside her makes me sick” Again having personally dated some conservative women I understand the jealousy here- especially in Middle Eastern Culture this sort of thing is typically frowned upon quite heavily. 

     I think that’s an issue around The Natural Lifestyles – they do preach this freedom of sex without consequences but there are consequences to hook up culture which Liam arrogantly refuses to acknowledge  in this book. But yeah- why would he- he’s a pua coach but still he seems to have little understanding at times with how the women do feel used at time in this book a sign that maybe the guy actually lacks some maturity with women and the critical analysis that maybe- just maybe sex might mean different things to different people.  Liam says “I think girls who just go with the moment and do what they want are cooler” but there’s another potential challenge to this argument – girls who seek rapid sex may just be giving it away too easy and risk being used – as one of Liam’s lays in the book complains about “ But so many guys just bail after they fuck me…” again a issue in sexual openness is the potential of being left to hung dry or feel used- and I don’t think that Liam really understands this . This very same girl then cries in the same  lay report after Liam confesses he is in a open relationship with another girl – again proof that a lot of women psychologically don’t like the whole pump and dump hook up culture. 

     Again when I applied Rapid Escalation techniques a lot of them did work in 20 percent of the cases- but this would entail on some occasions buyers remorse or  excessive attachment something which I think Liam doesn’t really think about or educate his readers with which is ironic considering his experience .For me I’ve clocked that I’d usually get a lot more attachment from traditional conservative women which led to some problematic arguments post sex- at the time I thought like Liam that everyone just wanted hook up sex but as time went on and as I observed my other wings I began to realise that sex is a big deal for some women and that it can cause big attachment and break ups can be extremely traumatic – I know a few women who mentally just couldn’t get over the trauma of being cheated on or dumped and I began to understand that relationships are real and they have real consequences . Most of James Marshall’s TNL team failed really to acknowledge this and even James himself seems to discard all the emotional attachments with the girls he hooks up with, in my previous review of Liam’s “The Limitless seducer” Liam seems to just once again try and put his dick in anything (again nothing wrong with this but I can understand the argument the chaos that short term mating strategies can cause especially in todays tinder hookup era) 

    I certainly found that copying Liam’s liberal stance towards sex was at times quite harmful to my game as I thought every woman would just want rapid / quick sex- in the end a portion did but a good percentage also wanted deep intimacy and feared being used especially living in London you have a lot of conservative women who are quite serious about their relationships and just want a LTR /Marriage- for them hook-up culture can be unappealing. I also saw the frustrations on pua forums when some wingmen would fail to obtain sex they desired from the women they dated expecting every coffee date to end in a lay – at the end a lot of women simply don’t want quick sex and that’s not    a problem – but at times reading pua books where a  daygame coaches obtain quick sex may create unrealistic expectations on certain women who probably aren’t going to fuck on the first date – then people who look up to said  day gamer coaches   then get upset when this doesn’t happen. 

    Liam  goes into discussing methods to get the best out of interactions- slowing down sets and leaving space and owning intent this is also useful advice particularly for those at an intermediate /advance level  but also goes through the issues beginners can face – overthinking and not taking action being the key one. Even during some interactions where the escalation fails , Liam doesn’t panic and reiterates the importance of maintaining a leadership frame and holding it together after escalating in the toilet with a German girl which ends up failing : 

    “ I think it’s really important to note that I tried something ballsy (toilet sex) she made her boundaries clear, and I respected that . The seduction was not over at this point; it was just a minor road bump. I didn’t take it as a personal rejection , merely as her saying, “ not here and now” 

    Liam McRae – Rapid Escalation 

    I think this is great advice which has helped me personally in dealing with LMR situations – interactions failing or escalations failing can be for a variety of reasons the most important thing is you keep your cool and keep the interaction running and not losing your mind. 

    He then proceeds to talk again about limiting beliefs- the class stuff that I’d learnt in previous 21 convention speeches and by Simple Pickup but again important to analyse when dealing with hurdles in seduction before going into further rejections and understanding that men can only control various factors- there dress, communication and  the quantity of approaches – other things like the women liking them or wanting sex are outside of the power of a modern man and we need to accept this as what it is. 

    Similar to the other book “The Limitless Seducer” Liam spends a good portion of time  discussing seduction fails , rejection and near getting laid moments that are eventually foiled by the dreaded LMR. Still its good balance to include this stories as they give a realistic outlook to most potential seducers of the highs and lows of seduction. He then finishes off the book by once again discussing limiting beliefs and outlines more of the five principals again.

    Concluding Comments : 

    Liam McRae may not be around the pua sphere anymore- he’s been retired for some 6 years now at the time of writing this – its 2024 and his retirement was around 2018 as far as I can recall. He’s one of the few who’ve seemingly “made it out alive” in the Pua space without media ridicule or getting cancelled akin to Tom Torero – and seemingly made something of himself financially too coaching 100s of clients successfully during his time with TNL. He then seemingly progressed towards marrying an instagram model . All in all he’s the blueprint that many who come into pick up artistry or dating and self development and watching his evolution was one of my biggest motivations during my early day gaming years. He may not be the best coach or dating author for those who are looking to build a family or “strong ltrs” But for beginners and intermediates his tips are simply invaluable and should not be understated . His work ethic, honesty , determination and ability to seduce is seemingly lost upon todays generation of dating coaches whoever those people even are. 

    If you can grab a copy or download it it’s worth your time to get some insight of this now retired dating coach. I believe this book has aged well and the core principals remain very relevant today . 

    Score: 8/10 

  • Liam McRae: The Limitless Seducer Book Review

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    This is Liam’s third book in his series of seduction – arguably one of the key faces of TNL from 2012-2017 Liam McRae sorta retired at the correct time – hanging around long enough to gain those big high ticket sales from students but not so long to get media or career ending scrutiny a kin to Tom Torero . His other books “Tinder Success Stories” and “Rapid Escalation” are also books I’m hoping to review soon on my blog – his impact on men’s dating culture may not be as big or grandiose as a James Marshall or Tom Torero but I think he still holds more mature insight to insight than most puas on forums- doesn’t act like a spoilt brat like John Anthony and doesn’t gloat too much excessively like you see many Puas in the dating forums do sometimes . He remains humble and even shares a lot of his failures and the insights to crappy dates which can me important to reaffirming the correct mindsets to dating, sex and relationships.

    This book is a lot shorter than “Rapid Escalation” however longer and at more depth then “Tinder Success Stories”  – there are little appearances from his wingmen here other than the odd cameo from James Marshall, Shae and Tony Solo although these are limited.

    One thing though that is undeniable Liam probably has a lot more Tinder success than the average Joe as he’s able to very quickly schedule 5-6 tinder dates from a few weeks swiping – some of these turning very successful some of not. A portion of the girls seem good the other have questionable personalities one being a Thai hooker regardless Liam also shows the text game insight for each of his successful trips – there’s even cold approach dates sprinkled in in between the tinder lays showing him leading by example and showing his flexibility not to just be reliant on one of game but to utilise good time management and showing that even with a busy schedule cold approach can be done. A big excuse on the forums I see most notably on so suave is that approaching is time consuming which for me is a lame excuse and Liam proves this by being able to go on cold approach dates in addition to social circle and online dates.  If Liam can do it in between running a business, fitness, ayahuasca then why can’t you? I found it also so frustrating during my time on the pua forums and wingmen groups just how many men used time as an excuse as to why they didn’t want to do pickup for me it seemed like a lame copout.

    Liam starts off the book with a foursome – giving advice on how to have the best anal sex – which may be too alien for amateurs looking to kick start their seduction journey- for me personally group sex isn’t my think and have only been asked to spit roast someone once which I declined. Liam does it here in quite a descriptive  sequence of events. He then dates an introverted Thai girl again giving some good honest compassionate advice when dating women of whom English is not their first language. He then list’s some pretty good advice after a series of lmr dates – most notably to not get butthurt about it.

    I think this is very important advice as I see on forums like skilled seducer or sosauve when a couple of guys have bad dates or rejection it really gets to them – lmr, blow outs, flakes its all there and is part of the process. It could be seen at times where Liam appears a bit too fuck boy for some people’s liking and I understand for conservative individuals the fact he’s capable to fuck so quickly. For absolute beginners as I mentioned before this might be overwhelming and the Rapid Escalation book which outlines more of the core basics might be seen as more appropriate but even when Liam faces lows he doesn’t panic – he always takes a moment to positively reflect on what he’s achieved and the good moments I think a lot of Puas can take positive insights from him here . Many men go into panic mode or get angry when a date doesn’t result in sex-  they feel they’ve fucked up in life just because they haven’t had instant intercourse on the first date or because the girl flaked or stood them up – even after crummy dates Liam is still approaching and doing sets in this book.  One lead even ends for him after the date the girl screen shotted a link to his seduction book and found out he was a daygame coach then ignored him but he still persists with finding new leads and successful dates .  

    The book digresses into fitness and how that’s helped to enhance Liam’s seduction and the importance of getting a coach- a little bit Tony Robbins esque but still interesting – he then gives numerous tips about making sex better , anal and group sex – having not done any of the latter two myself personally I can’t really judge if this is good advice or not but his tips on handling rejection are great imo. He shows an element of life balance – something which puas can often get wrong they are either too focused on approaching and neglect their own smv or they just don’t do enough and use time and life as an excuse – I feel this book is invaluable in demonstrating balance as a key factor .

    The final chapters about Ayahausca just weren’t for me – that being said I believe others can benefit from them – his concluding thoughts are something that I think every Pua can learn from – that is primarily the importance of volume . Most men on the dating forums do not have enough volume and i completely agree here with Liam. A lot of them would be better off just focusing on new leads and expanding their social circles of which most seem incapable of doing because they haven’t practiced Daygame or think that Puas are just creeps or either that they lack the self confidence in doing so.

    Reference experience is important as Liam outlines he’s had 8 years of doing so which has made him a more confident seducer in leading the highs and lows – he even goes far as detailing 12 dates that went wrong and describing them . He also shows how one girl refuses to date him again after he appears too unnatural- interestingly enough i’ve had girls flake on me for the same reason for being too mechanical . I guess its a problem sometimes of being too confident and slick sometimes the girls don’t feel special and feel like they are one of many? Potentially an issue that comes with too much success in Pua sometimes.

    Overall there are many valuable lessons in this book that draw on the emotions many face when dating and dealing with a rotation of girls. There’s flexibility from online, daygame and social circle so there is something for everyone. Liam is honest and a realist and I think a lot of his valuable insights are lost on todays dating forums . Well worth a read if you can grab a copy.

    Score 8/10

    To buy: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Limitless-Seducer-Balancing-Spirituality-Schedule/dp/1546860940/ref=sr_1_8?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.2HZgfW4Wc-IyCa1EhxzzwbnRixWt0V9wTn3-HSbXZkeYdv-QqYa6LORpS74Mpa5aN6e9xzJMxpXSvZJFwjY1YcGvw9meTjYTo9tBOv6ZIjmnCvc1rQmz1vc_7It8rXU0Vf2Vkj0vuIX5UL9vjQqdgzpG58fkSQaSkmWG2jyV_ipAE4hautptptajOsxcdRHqmUBRFwXvPrAY9thUF5xhzasXYSfEOvwto_dKdAJ9OgI.fVhBdpjmHolHKlLZQymEpmB_YDD2LZp_C0gaEreGUGo&dib_tag=se&keywords=liam+mcrae&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1728911309&sr=8-8

    More info: https://thenaturallifestyles.com/

    Im not under any commissions or anything – these reviews are just my own insights into dating and sexual dynamics.

  • James Marshall:A Natural History- The Seduction Journals of James Marshall -Book Review 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Going into this book for anyone who has been following the 21 convention or any of PUA developments between 2011- 2020 its indisputable to measure the about of influence James Marshall has had on pretty much the entire industry . His 21 convention speeches remain the best that I’ve seen on dating and seduction- he appears a much more well rounded and mature individual than the London daygame crew : Nick Krauser , Tom Torero and  Yad and compared to this generation of “Red Pill” self-help coaches he’s just simply much more experienced than a Richard Cooper, Rollo Tomassi or Michael Sartain and he comes across much more realistic and honest than a John Anthony. Where he’s been critiqued in the past has been the overpricing of his content and even this book he priced at around $100 or an addition to purchase with his numerous expensive courses. He is the most expensive dating coach I’ve come across – is he worth it? Judging by my experience I don’t think any dating coach ever will be worth $10k a bootcamp you’re much better off putting that money into the gym and fashion but for arguments sake I still see him as a good mentor and public speaker in the dating realm. Has he milked that for some high ticket sales? Yes. But then again pretty much most coaches in the self help coaching sphere sell some products and services that are somewhat overpriced for their value. This industry has always been like that and James is no different. 

    How is James Marshall doing now? Well he appears to be selling less courses , less coaching and his team is wittered down a bit. I still think losing Liam McRae probably set the company back a bit before hiring some questionable coaches that seemed – on the surface to be prudent nutcases cough *Jon* cough.

    But onto the book – is it worth it  , going into this thing I had high hopes and I really did enjoy it more so than a Rollo Tommasi or Richard Cooper “unplugged alpha” here it actually records actual dating progress and James going from strength to strength. He shows his wingmen and the various things he was able to learn from them and is honest about the downfall of his marriage – the difficulty he endured marrying a Ukrainian woman – perhaps he’s not fully truthful about the fact she could’ve just been using him for a passport but still there’s value in analysing this and showing that all dating coaches have their highs and lows which is often hidden when you see seduction coaches often being marketed as players who can do no wrong. 

    The beginning of the book describes James Marshall starring in a porn scene himself before detailing his adventures hooking up with women in China in 2004 whilst documenting his time training in Shaolin Temple – his life is just unorthodox and at times very inspiring considering how one dimensional your average pua can be its refreshing to see a dating book in which some interesting stuff happens between the seductions – not so much just mechanical approaching and sex stories like Tom Torero’s or philosophy of female dating strategy like Richard Cooper , Rollo Tomassi and to some extent Nick Krauser’s books can overly dwell on at times. There’s actually some personality and character development coming through here and an improvement in his dating life throughout the book whereas some authors in the space like Richard Cooper just go from one failure to another.  There are heating breakups at the beginning which seem to be entirely James’ fault but he has an honesty here- he doesn’t look to hide dating failures or over exaggerate his result like Alex Ice White (who doesn’t even do cold approach but yet acts like a coach) or John Anthony do (who seems to critique every dating coach bar himself) . 

    “The sad fact dawned on me that after high school, as people nest and get real jobs, their social worlds shrink. They find themselves into their twenties with a handful of friends and an orbiting ring of pleasant work acquaintances. The madness, hope and dreams of their youth vanish and are replaced with the numbing comfort and insidious slow death of adulthood. It was what I feared more than anything and the reason I shat on a beautiful relationship with a stunning wonderful woman…..” 

    Here James goes through what I see many Pua’s going through- the urge to be different me myself I’ve also had such an urge that put me off making commitment to women – the fear of being boring and mundane with each day being a constant battle against such decline but he also highlights something true about men’s social circles- they shrink a lot post university and men get into comfortable situations and decline into a slow death something that I’ve personally discovered after my mates left uni- James’ insights into social circle development here is invaluable especially for those starting out. 

    “ The single man’s life is generally one of constant low level frustration which peaks to murderous intensity on nights out, as he falters and drunkenly stumbles through half- arse attempts to meet women. This usually ends with the immediate jump into another relationship with the first time a woman of passable quality who agrees to remove her panties for him. This continues throughout life with options slowly narrowing as social circles diminish, hair lines thin and bellies expand..”  This is something I most definitely am seeing now approaching my 30s.  

    James also goes through online dating – not only in China but in Australia and Ukraine and writes extensively about the qualms of such 

    “It took me a while to realise that the ratio of men to women was 10 to one and also that the value of girls jumped considerably in this context. A girl you wouldn’t look twice at on the street is bombarded with dozens of messages a day and becomes picky. Unlikely that she will ever meet any of them in person, she strings them along with saucy messages as the validation comes from the attention, not the resolution of the fantasy.” 

    I saw this as a problem of online dating too- the sheer abundance and options that women had were problematic and were one of the reasons that me myself switched from online to daygame around 2017 . Later on in the book James Marshall has a dig at Mystery and Ross Jeffries- claiming that mystery suffers from Asperger’s which I think is a fair comment – there was definitely a weird aura around mystery . Ross Jeffries i never liked too as I don’t think scripted lines or hypnosis really work on women- I see him purely as a a marketer that was just in seduction at the right place and the right time and made a fair chunk of cash through seminars and books taking advantage of men who had little reference experience. So in a way James and I are on the same page in a lot of aspects. 

    The book then digresses into a lot of lay reports and I mean a lot – even prior to James getting into seduction he seemed reasonably successful – losing his virginity as 16 in the US, with numerous lays throughout his ventures in Australia – including Taiwanese, Iranian, Africans, Chinese, Pakistani , 37 year old MILF and of course Ukrainans – seduced in a variety of ways including online dating (myspace and other dating sites that don’t exist anymore) , daygame, night game and social circle (through his band) James shows a lot of flexibility here though doesn’t really dwell into much technique rather documents his emotions, the dialogue and the results – its not a perfect guide – far from it but still interesting reading nonetheless.  James adds a bit of seduction advice in between sets but really its just drifting from lay to lay most of the time which reminds me of Tom Torero’s daygame stories.

    This could be a flaw in James in that he’s always been somewhat of a successful guy with women even when he was young- losing his virginity at 16 and then progressing in relationships thereafter. There is not real rags to riches story as far as his dating life goes – he’s progressing positively throughout and building connections with seemingly interesting characters a lot of whom have intriguing strengths and side-stories. But let’s not kid ourselves James Marshall is still a tall handsome dude, a b list celebrity with decent following who even in his worst day was still a handsome Australian dude with a load of cool hobbies. Whether this makes him relatable to large swathes of the PUA community who are low smv men is up for debate – in my wingmanning circles he’s been praised for maturity and his ability to educate on connection but critiqued by my lower smv wings as never having had a real struggle which is a fair critique James even has one moment in his book where a woman his 5 ft Asian client was dating hits on him :

    Here James admits really that looks do matter – one way or another SMV is something that will eventually impact your dating life whether you are spiritual guru akin to James or a jack the lad guy like Nick Krausser – I don’t think he will ever have that grassroots appeal to the majority of men like a Yad and Tom Torero will but it’s undeniable that the majority of day gamers can learn a lot from James about how to connect better with women . 

    In the end of the book one of his main wingmen and best friend John has a mental breakdown, he then proceeds to get betrayed by other wingmen- his three wingmen in the group have long term relationships that falter and fall apart/divorce and their relationships break down with James – He then himself gets cheated on by his Ukrainian wife when she becomes a famous Dj in Australia – a taste of his own medicine perhaps considering throughout the book him and his wingmen are always cheating and dicking around with women themselves.  An example of how puas can potential just be lifelong self addicts with no discipline or self control perhaps? Both James and his former coach John are known for their dating . Like or dislike James he’s led an interesting life – one of adventure and sets a good example to daygamers- his emotions show more in this book than other day gamers like Torero and Krauser do – perhaps this plants a more realistic viewpoint than a Ross Jefferies does or technique based materials do. There will be ups and downs in women wether you’re a virgin or at 100 lay count – there will be obstacles and that’s ok. I think this is invaluable advice seeing as so many of my wingmen failed when it came to the psychological game of daygame and persistence. Those that strove through the highs and lows thrived – those who let it get to them gave up sometimes after a week or two of approaching- James definitely shows his mental strength across 10-15 years of his life consistently gaming and networking in order to hone his skills – despite that challenges he makes he’s persistent and has a lot to show for it now. 350k  YouTube subscribers , a decent coaching team , a house in Portugal as well as a flat in Budapest the outcome has been impressive and he serves as a good example for young daygamers to follow and can still to this day inspire hope to many. This is a unique book and offers a lot to beginners as well as intermediates – for those seeking “mature Puas” few will ever have the appear James Marshall does.

    Score: 9/10 

Mindful Masculinity

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