Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
When characterising the “abundance mindset” in dating I began to think overtime that this theory was largely false and didn’t really live up to the longterm acid test. The reality was that dating was brutal and competitive more so than I’d have myself believe. Living in London I was acutely aware of the brutality of the sexual market place. In a rich city things were competitive , women hiring model shots to give themselves the edge over one another, when I was in my early teens I wouldn’t understand this. Now that I’m in 30s I realised how competitive the game was when I’d speak to women living in London how they’d have Saudi men flying them out across the world, lavishing them with gifts and sending them money I realised then that dating was more brutal and competitive that I made it out to be. I perhaps took my life for granted in my early 20s thinking I had all the time in the world to make mistakes , be lazy and not really that dedicated to the craft of cold approaching but as time passed and I watched a lot of men in my social circle not really achieving their dating goals. I realised that every aspect of dating is scarce, from the time you have to approach , the time it takes to find “truly girlfriend” worthy women and the time you have to build your smv. I wrote this blog post to show some examples of set scarcity in the dating world in hopes that we as men become a little more cognisant of it.
Theoretically we can’t all make it
If every man and woman aspires to date a 10 we can’t all date 10s as beauty in of itself is a highly scare asset . That’s what makes beauty special and banging a hot chick in of itself as a special moment. We value beauty because it’s scarce .The same way in which women value six pack abs because having a good body in of itself is scarce, women value resources and wealth because being wealthy in of itself is scarce and the majority of men – particularly in the developing world are not wealthy. Not every woman can dating a millionaire or a financially secure men- statistically the majority simply can’t -scarcity is an attractive concept and not every woman and man can attract the high tier. Not every man can date a high value woman who’s kind and down to earth either – good women are as scarce as good men in the modern world based on my experiences approaching for 4 years out of roughly 800 approaches I’d say only around 5-6 of women I dated were true “wifey” material.
In the self-help industry many men and women are bombarded with the “abundance mentality” that there are good women and men everywhere- I’d argue there isn’t , finding value and truly compatibility from high value people that can elevate your life to the next level is really rare and hard to do .
Your Time Is scarce in the dating world
You only have so much time to date the people you want and for most men it will take a lot of time- hence why I recommend men to cold approach and increase options as early as possible in life. You only have so much time to create options for yourself and cold approach in of itself is time consuming – finding a good fit for your long term life takes time , hard work and dedication especially if you want a wife and family then you really have to put the numbers in and approach . Even if you’re getting hot women consistently finding the ones with positive attributes and those who are worthy of being the wives to your children are rare- so time is of the essence if you want to build a family – especially if you’re a man. Women too need to spend a long about of time making decisions between fuck boys and men who can genuinely provide for their children if they don’t theres a risk of being a single mum and future struggling in the dating world further down the line. So for both genders time is limited , the risks are always high but for men I’d argue the maturity phase takes a lot longer time and mental investment which most aren’t ready for given the high drop out rate in the Pua community .
Opportunities to Find High Quality wingmen are rare
With the rise of online dating the pua community simply got obliterated – PUA forums have diminished in popularity and simply don’t have as many people participating as in thte early 2010s. Finding good quality wingmen again is a numbers game which requires a lot of work and discipline , you simply have to put the work in as the majority either won’t be compatible or will will have neurodevelopment disorders like Aspergers or more severe autism that will make it difficult for them to improve their dating life ( not saying its impossible but it’s a low probability outcome and makes them more incompetent as wingmen)
Of course its also apparent that the best quality men usually leave the pua space the quickest as they usually are the ones to gleen a ltr the quickest from doing it. High quality wingmen tend to retire earlier from the game as they have more opportunities to settle down. So if you do find a good quality wingman respect your time with them- they might not be around a long time in the PUA space.
Time is scarce to improve your SMV
You can only travel to so many places to become a more adventurous person – you can only pick up so many skills – Time is definitely a scarce commodity in these regards. Achieving mastery in a skillset takes around 10,000 hours – there’s not really a lot of time in ones life to achieve mastery so regular discipline really is important in a lot of aspects. SMV improvement is probably even more important for men than it is for women and requires serious time investment – so the younger you start and outline your plans for value improvement the more time you have to cold approach with high smv and increase your options .
Only a small portion of people make it out of daygame with even a single lay
Daygame success in of itself is scarce- most men don’t have the mental attributes to survive doing it for the longterm so success in this aspect is rare in of itself. Despite the optimism I had when I started daygaming in late 2017 I found that the majority of men in the daygame scene really struggled even garner a single date . I also became disillusioned with how many people seemingly “hid behind” marketing ahead of taking actual action. Such things would include: taking pictures of attractive women they weren’t actually dating or boasting online with exaggerated stories of their love lives. Soon I was realising that a lot of the coaches I admired and respect weren’t actually approaching or having the success that I thought they did.
This was surprising to me but it became self-evident once I did daygame for myself that speaking to strangers is difficult and has a huge adjustment process, beginners need to give it time – minimum 3-6 months to really adjust and to build discipline in this area of their lives.
There is only so much time you can give women:
Even if you have a massive rotation eventually some women in said rotation will want more of you and want to commit to you either that or they will pursue other more reliable long term prospects and ditch you – failing that they may just become obsessed with you and start to disrupt your life. Even if theoretically you banged 10 10s tomorrow a huge percentage of them will probably want more and more of you. You only have so much time to give to women especially if you want a wife and family. The time you have to enjoy your rotations is scarce in of itself. High value women arguably have less time to give to men as they approach their peak during their mid 20s so often times act more ruthlessly in this regard when they must lock a guy down. So even if you’re a rising success or a complete failure there is scarcity – you can only sustain so many sexual partners for so long – eventually if you want a family you need to make some choices and cut certain women from your rotation. Eventually choices will need to be made and some people might be disappointed with the decisions you make but that’s life.
Time is scarce to build a Family
For men and women who struggle with dating and finding life partners the effects can really be detriment to their life. For women its obvious- if they have kids too late then it can affect the health of their children- also the older they get the less desirable they will be to the elite group of men that have options. For men too there is scarcity involved – lets say you want kids as a man and you continue to play the field until your mid 40s by the time you have kids you may have a lot less time to enjoy them – for example if you are a man having kids at say age 45 by the time you’re 60 then the kid is 15 , you are probably well past your physical prime to enjoy them in that case. So men who gloat that women hit their prime earlier than them – yes that’s true but at the end of the day men must work hard to secure their long term partner sooner rather than later if they really want to enjoy children in their prime.
Conclusion
No doubt this blog post sucks, it’s written in poor prose and pretty basic language with maybe an overly simplistic view on the world but I wanted to drive home the point that scarcity is no doubt something that effects everyone whether it be a female 10 deciding which man is husband material or the male 1 who is in his mid 30s who really needs to drop weight and put in serious time and dedication into approaching women – the reason I wrote this blog was to showcase the importance for men to really utilise their time well, increase smv and cold approach often and understand that time is scarce and we really only have so much to give towards achieving our relationship goals. This viewpoint maybe ultimately a bit nihilistic and written in a “Rollo Tomassi” fashion but I guess it’s important to take things seriously and be aware we probably take the time we have now for granted when it comes to trying to achieve our relationship goals.
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
I spent a while day gaming in several cities in China back in 2019 – I later revisited the Country in 2024 (not for daygame as I was in relationship by that time ) but went to practice my Chinese and check out how the country had faired post lockdown to see if it was still a decent place to meet new women and expand dating horizons in 2024 – keeping into account some factors like rent price, infrastructure , quality of women , education of women in said cities and the quality of dating venues available .
Advantages of gaming in a Second Tier City Chinese City:
Cheap Rent- Compared to major Chinese cities like Guangzhou , Shanghai , Shenzen – The rent and hotel costs in second tier cities like Changsha and Kunming are pale , especially in comparison to western cities in the US and UK. This makes setting logistics easy – also as per my experiences in 2019 day hotels can be easily rented at around £10-20 for 4 hours. Looking at hotel prices certain ones do special deals for month to month rent for example Fraser Suites Changsha offer £600 a month rent to stay there (four star hotel), which comes with a gym and pool . However you can get cheaper branded hotels that range from £400-500 a month rent.
Large footfall- most b tier cities in the UK and France for example Montpellier (France) or Cambridge (UK) have very low footfall and not many new faces arriving on a weekly basis relative to China, major Chinese cities are usually densely populated which means you can approach a lot of new people easily and won’t have to worry about running into the same people over and over again akin to the “b tier” European cities .
Typical Footflow in Changsha – China on a weekday night
Tourist sites attract a lot of people from other cities- Places like Dali – In Yunnan region of China attract a huge amount of tourists from other other cities on an almost weekly basis a lot of the times from neighbouring countries like Malaysia, Singapore , Thailand – this ensures fresh foot flow and means you won’t get bored with the same faces.
5 Dollar Soufflé in a mall in Wuhan
Restaurants and Coffee shops are cheaper Relative to the west : Restaurants costs a fraction of the price they do in the UK and US with no service charge , coffees and alcoholic are also generally cheaper too over 20-30 dates you’ll find yourself saving money over time relative to dating in the west .It also makes doing a variety of things with the women you date without breaking the bank. Apps like Mei Tuan and Dianping App can be used to score good deals on food and drink in every major city on everything from breakfast, lunch , dinner, coffee, wine and cocktails.
View from £600 a month Fraser Suites in Changsha, Includes Swimming Pool and Decent Gym
Cheap as fuck Taxis: Using the Didi app you’re able to book cheap taxis that often come to no more than 10-20 RMB a ride, relative to how much I spend on public transport and train alone in London which is roughly 160 RMB a day – you gotta take around 8 10 minute taxis in Kunming or changsha in one day to reach my average daily public transport expenditure in London. It also makes leading the dates easier and you can do faster bounces from place to place or if you are moving towards sex you can bring her back more efficiently when her buying temperature is highest.
Low Competition: Usually in second tier cities in China there are less rich and attractive men, plus you usually get more men with confidence issues in Asian countries typically – this means less competition and more likelihood in people treating you well so long as you have half decent SMV. Compared to Western Europe/ the States , London , Paris , the competition is minimal here by comparison . When I gamed here in 2019 I found it far easier to maintain the frame on dates and overall felt better respected by the women I was dating. The low income of men here means that they do a lot less interesting things with their life so their SMV development is likely to be stunted compared to yours , also noticeability the men usually have worse career prospects in second tier cities, usually unimpressive physiques compared to western men and are on average a lot shorter. Overall the expectations are lower when doing daygame in these cities.
Large Varieties of Things to do – Lots of coffee shops and bars make it easier to lead on dates and create interesting adventures, its also easier to find dating spots that aren’t overcrowded due to the excessive choice available on apps like Mei Tuan.
£6 Beef cheek risotto at an Italian Restaurant in Changsha
Cheap Gyms- Often times gyms offer £1 free day passes or cheap monthly passes of £10-20 making SMV and appearance easy to maintain here- gym prices can be as much as 20-30 percent the price of a London gym and are more often than not empty due to the lack of gym culture in China.
Disadvantages in Gaming in Second Tier Cities
Sometimes you can run into boring / “overly simplistic” women : Due to the low wages here women tend to travel less and do less interesting things with their lives this may lead to potential boring conversations or stalled interactions .
Language Barrier problems- usually the poorer the city the worse English you will experience from the women you approach and interact with . This goes for any Non-English city you do daygame in typically . It maybe recommend to learn some Chinese before gaming IN a second tier Chinese city- for example someone in a rich city LIKE Guangzhou or Shenzen will most likely have better English ability than someone living somewhere where the economy and school quality is relatively shitty like Kunming or Changsha . This again might lead to stalled interactions – so at worse be prepared with google translate – at best you could learn some Chinese before you do game here.
Food Options can be a bit suspect: if you’re like me and take you health and nutrition seriously it maybe kinda tough in a second tier city as most restaurants usually import their beef from Brazil or Argentina which can be frozen for many months leaving beef that has an awkward texture – every time I ate steak out in these cities it was rough and weird. This problem might be solved by downloading the TaoBao app of which you can buy Australian beef or Grass fed organic protein powders from .
Limited Race options: If you don’t like Asian women then second tier Chinese cities probably aren’t the one for variety- if you want more variety in terms of race you are better off gaming in Hong Kong, Shanghai ,Beijing or somewhere of that sort. You may meet a variety of different Asian from Chinese , Malays, Singaporeans , Hong Kongers etc. but if you want anything non Asian then second tier Chinese cities aren’t the one really .
Good Apps to Download before your daygame trip :
MetiTuan App: Great App to download which gives you discounts on food and coffee shops – google is blocked in china so chances are it won’t keep you up to date with modern date locations the same way Mei Tuan app will.
DianPing App : Another App similar to Meituan which offers good decent date selections and discounts on coffee shops and bars. A must to download if you plan on staying in China long term.
Typical 20 dollar a month gym in Wuhan, most gyms have 1 dollar trials or group day passes that can be purchased on DianPing app or MeiTuan app.
TaoBao: best app for ordering western products- sometime these are sold at a premium but if you wanna get some Aussie meat and some organic protein powder delivered to you it an’t bad to have.
trip.com/ Agoda / booking.com: Different apps are pretty much better for different areas for example Dali the best value hotels are found on trip.com rather than agoda – Agoda usually can have the better last minute deals sometimes though – its best evaluating each independent city on the three different apps first before making a booking. Not all hotels are listed on these three major apps- some have exclusivity deals with a specific website.
WeChat : Pretty much essential as not all Chinese women have instagram or Facebook . Make sure you download this and use the social media guide here: https://mindful-masculinity.org/2020/10/18/the-complete-instagram-and-social-media-guide-for-dating-and-relationships/ even if youre not planning on gaming in China it’s still a good app to use if you plan on approaching Asian women in general as the majority of Chinese, Hong Kongers, Taiwanese , Malays do utilise the app. Make sure you have good quality photos on there to reduce your likelihood of flakes.
M Stand Coffee Shop chain located pretty much in every major city- great place to take a woman on a first date.
Good Places to Game in China :
I covered some places in my previous guide – here: but these are some new “gems” i’ve found on recent travels
Typical coffee shop date location in Wuhan , found on the MeiTuan app
Wuhan – I know I know its got a bad vibe because of virus situation but here be out its actually got decent quality women and a variety of good European architecture, modern galleries and student areas like Li Huangbei Road is popular with university students so its a great place to meet young and ambitious women.
Li Huangbei Road in Wuhan Is full of Students every weekend
Changsha: Heavily polluted relative to the other cities although that could’ve just been the time I was there they were doing a tonne of coal burning but logistically cheap place to live and packed full of malls and some decent historical sites to visit – I recommend staying at Fraser Suites Changsha which comes to £600 a month. The main Draw for Changsha is it’s malls which have good foot-flow plus loads of good restaurants that can be found on Mei Tuan.
View from a £25 a night hotel in Dali- Yunnan
Kunming– Quality and infrastructure wise may not rival that of the likes of Shanghai and Chengdu but it’s still a very cheap city to live in with a decent student population plus a lot of tourists visiting from other provinces . Logistically it can make for a decent base to other nearby countries like Cambodia , Thailand and Myanmar.
Dali- Yunnan on a weekday packed full of students.
Dali :The best daygame city in Yunnan province and probably my favourite place to meet people in Yunnan- huge tourist inflows and generally a pollution free city with a great vibe plus cheap accommodation relative to Europe and the USA make it the perfect place to meet women . It’s also very easy to get around and a dense land mass to cover so you will never run out of things to do during your time there. Great sunlight and clean air make it an awesome place for the health conscious too.
Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value.
Things have changed a fair amount in the last 8 years from when I was learning about PUA . In the beginning my thought process was somewhat simple doing night game and day-game. I learnt the bulk of my night game in 2014 originally from Simple Pickup seeing such average guys picking up hot women blew my mind. But it wasn’t until 2017 that I started really day gaming and meeting women during the day and until 2018 that I got my first significant day-game lays that really impacted my life and I began to meet and network with wingmen that would significantly improve my life and my way of thinking. But after observing the manosphere in the past 8 years there’s been a significant movement towards conservative/religious thought processes and ideologies most notably from 21 Convention, the rise of , men’s self development and people who meet on forums discussing theory but with little basis for anything else. The rise of conservative/religious dating thought processes with men’s lifestyle coaches like Tanner Guzy, Rollo Tommas, Elliot Hulse and coaches that aim to reinstall traditional conservative values in the dating world made me feel is the community more divided than ever?
I still post on Pua forums, why ? Because I like to give back, I like to provide free information to people and help them because there were coaches that did the same for me. Said coaches have now dropped out of the game, many have deleted their content (Liam Mcrae being one of them) my instagram and social media guide for example which gained some praise by others was heavily influenced by Liam’s teachings – in fact I doubt I’d even be able to write the guide without his influence (Liam is now retired and has married a model) . So for these people I owe them a hell of a lot and Im forever grateful for the hard work they entailed to make me who I am . I probably owe all my day-game lays and the loss of my virginity to a combination of TNL, 21 Convention, Simple Pickup, Tom Torero and Nick Krausser – without the hard work of these collective coaches releasing content I don’t know where I’d be .
These viewpoints on dating now are varied- even Anthony Dream Johnson the CEO of the 21 convention has seemingly changed his tune- Tom Torero’s being an extreme thought that LTRs were near impossible to maintain – given his divorce prior to getting into pickup it seems understandable – in the year leading up to his death he seemingly lamented LTRs of all kinds.
Tanner Guzy and other newer 21 convention coaches stated that hook up culture is something men need to grow out of in favour of more noble pursuits something which alot of the 21 convention coaches like Arthur Kwon Lee , Jesse Lee Peterson to name a few believe in. Then you have black pilled viewpoints inspired partly by Rollo Tomassi’s work and a new generation of men who are giving up on relationships, some could be seen as incels, others that are frustrated by the lack of loyalty and compassion shown by the opposite sex and some who are simply too far away from competing in the sexual market place.
Dating , the sexual market economy to be precise has always fascinated me to a point where it became my passion. I love discussing these things, but nowadays the tide has turned away from the player lifestyle to the conservative reconstruction from the nuclear family. None more than I noticed this than from 21 convention, who’s early speeches and content between 2011-2014 radically changed my dating life. Now a new generation of self help speakers have emerged one that want to reinstate patriarchy and the nuclear family. Is this even possible? I argue fuck no. We are in too deep now whichever way you look at it men have an uphill challenge and that hill is turning steeper and steeper as time passes.
Men of the west complain that women have it too easy. They just need to be fertile, they can take cocks left right and centre. Well in any major European city, US or Canada I don’t really see any reason why any girl a 5/10 or above should be single, in fact I’d argue that the sexual market is just easy for women, any 5 could edit photos of themselves and make themselves into a 7/8 of 10 and match with 1000s of people world wide and get flown out and have shit paid for. It’s the sexual economy we live in now. We need to make do, our brains were never ever EVER meant for this much sexual abundance than before. Even a female 3 probably has more choice online than a male 10 . So what happens for society now? What are the conservatives actually expecting that women will give away their desire to move up the sexual market place and hold their virginities ? And then what – for them to just stand there and for some conservative religious man to approach them and for her to give himself up to her? The entire principle of slut shaming could argue to make no sense because it offers no realistic solutions for solving the dating problem for women and requires them to be self sacrifice for the low probability outcome that a similar conservative man will come out of no where and just marry her off the bat even if he with holds sex and acts religious – in my eyes some women can lose options to more sexual liberated women purely from withholding sex from men – a lot of men dont like this and complain constantly on forums when women give “lmr” or string them along. So its a essentially a catch 22 situation between conservative women and men in this occasion.
Not only is it extremely unlikely, it’s really a pipe dream especially when the bulk of conservative political thought is based on the premise that humans will naturally and instinctively thrive for more and will want to do so and so should be given the freedom to do so. So if women want better and better cock the liberal view is they should be allowed to have infinite sexual partners in the name of feminise and show off their breasts on tik Tok to their hearts content and settle when they so please – the conservative viewpoint would dictate that natural greed and the lust to maximise profit too will be for-filled by human’s and more often than not at the determent of society or mid-low value men .
For women the right male can be the difference between a life of ease and luxury and a life of extreme poverty. Women are opportunistic lovers and men shouldn’t let their delusion to marry or have LTRs get in the way of simple facts that are at the core of human evolution . So when you see manosphere coaches like Tanner Guzy and Elliot Hulse trying to save the nuclear family by sacrificing themselves dating below par women and telling people to get married young . They are pretty much enticing young men to gamble their lives and futures in the hope that the women they’re dating just happen to be loyal in the long term to them. Is this worth it for the modern man to quit hookup culture and create a nuclear family? I’d argue most probably not.
The problem with the new gen “Manosphere” coaches of the 21 Convention
A lack of Respect of the slow maturity of men in the sexual market place. Encouraging men to date and marry early may mean that men sell themselves short. In fact I’d argue that most men in major western cities sell themselves short nearly all of the time. Even these self help junkies who preach men should focus on their value , I think this is a 40-50 percent truth men should focus on where in the world they go to maximise their value just like women do. Theres a reason why Russian models absorb cock in New York and London and have Saudi men flying them out for weekends in Riyadh . There’s a reason that I – despite having 0 online lays living in London prior to living in South America I was able to bang a Brazilian model in Belo Horizonte from tinder. Men need to think of this first before thinking about marrying just any old western girl – they need to place themselves in position of strength where they will be respected the most, and I think most men are not cognisant of the fact that the grass is indeed greener on the other side and this new generation of manosphere coaches should be pointing men in the same directions that old school pickup coaches like Tom Torereo and Nick Krauser were – the idea of create options and experience to be able to properly differentiate between good quality women who can make good wives or not.
A sheer lack of understanding and warning about just how much power women in the sexual market place have – Yes-men mature slow as fuck and the sooner men realise this the more they realise that “getting married young” and marrying for religions sake is a bad strategy to curtail. Men need to build their value, enjoy the experiences of the lows and highs of the sexual market place and work hard to find wingmen and create a community where their dating life can flourish. This takes time, and more often than not experience will be the best teacher. Conservative view points on relationships and sex really don’t serve men as men’s value increases much later on in their lives in their 30s and 40s. Simply praying to god or marrying the first girl they date doesn’t change these facts.
Trying to restore old beliefs and thoughts that will simply not stack up to the modern day world. You’re not going to stop tinder, instagram ,online dating and Tik Tok now these addictive apps aren’t going anywhere if anything women now are being infiltrated by them more and more. The women who hustles at the local coffee shop night and day no longer has to they can open up only fans and live off the monthly yield from that from showing a few pictures of their breasts. To ask women to sacrifice these benefits for the greater good of humanity is wishful thinking and the growing popularity of only fans, Tik Tok and instagram is proof of this. The internet , porn has made men weak and socially retarded for the most part that they are stuck in a rut giving into these women . Thinking simply a conservative viewpoint on marriage and politicising conservative beliefs will change the fact that men are too dopamine-hooked on porn and only fans to care and that women are too fucked on the addictiveness of instagram shows that simply political ideology on the “Right way of doing things” can’t fix an addicted – Tik Tok brain dead generation.
But where do Liberals Go from here?
Do we just have boundless sex with no accountability? Do we just wait forever to fuck and never move on from hookup culture. It’s a fair problem that liberals have which I believe conservatives do make a decent point of view. The questions is when? And the answer to that is I have no idea , when men cash out of the sexual market place and bring children in the world it’s a risk whether it be from the first person they date to the last but for a lot of men in the west now having seen other men suffering in LTRs and marriage the appeal is becoming less and less whatever the current conservative viewpoint of the manosphere has. All in all I believe this is bad for the nuclear family, for stability from children’s lives and for people in marriages the stresses and pressures are at an all time high and should women want to leave these situations they will most likely have the kids and a swathe of needy men at their disposable.
Theres simply too many options for women in todays world and the effects of boundless sexual partners will take its toll on both genders to some degree . I don’t believe boundless fuckboys are at the heart of a lot fo women’s sexual strategy though I do believe a lot of women do want a nuclear family, kids etc. But with the way hookup culture is nowadays this will be delayed due to the fuckboys , the fast pace of the world with people changing their careers and moving about constantly , attention from around the world in a global sexual market place. The end goal will take time for both genders and will likely be just given in is a better situation rather than being alone rather than something which someone truly wants. There’s a definitive right way to do relationships anymore, the overstimulating environment has made loyalty a sign of neglect or neediness and has made constant hookups something to be praised and a sign of continuing confidence. Is this the right way of doing things? It’s really hard to give a firm answer . On the one hand I’m glad for hook up culture- It was about the 7th girl I slept with which I really dated someone that I connected with. With the ultra conservative view points of dating I had failed, it was clear the first few women I dated weren’t suitable for marriage longterm regardless of what my religious or political ideology was – it took be a lot of daygame approaches and trail and error to reach the stage where I would find anyone remotely suitable and I had found more fulfilment in my relationships than before hand thanks to the numerous sexual partners that I’d had (still lower than most in the Pua community but higher than the UK average for men) . But too much devaluing of one other during the dating process- something which I believe online dating in particular creates can lead to no real feeling of accomplishment or enjoyment in the situation- this is further solidified by the fall In the share price of bumble – men are leaving the app in droves – it doesn’t even play to women’s instinct of seeking out leadership quality in a man that can approach them it also doesn’t play into their love of genuine “Romantic love” . Then again people might say Im just being jealous and bitter – jealous and bitter that I’m not in the top one percent of men and that if I was and was getting loads of matches that id be more positive on the effects of online dating – and that might be it? Of course there are a lot of women and men that enjoy the online dating game and really relish the benefits from it but alas even as someone who has gotten laid from it – I believe its been an overall negative for men’s dating and self development and one which makes “conservative” or religious theories on dating even more adequate in the modern day.
With every relationship there will always be risks. You could in the worst case scenario be dating someone who’s just a psychopath and find out in the third year of dating them. You could marry the first person you dated at school and found out despite it being what your religion and parents wanted you to do that it ended up being the wrong thing to do . The possibilities and combinations in dating are endless and unpredictable which I’ve addressed in my previous blogs and are something that we just gotta deal with in the long term because well this is life. The hopes and dreams of the conservative nuclear family coming back when tik Tok addiction, instagram, onlyfans are still prominent is just unlikely and the odds of liberal hookup culture and rising divorce rates being an appropriate situation to raise kids is not something I personally think is optimal and I was very lucky that my mother and father stayed together until my father passed. I wouldn’t have been happy to see either with another partner and im glad they stayed loyal to one another .
Even the Coaches that say marriage is right are getting divorced
Tanner Guzy did several 21 Convention speeches emphasising the importance of marriage before eventually filing for divorce with his wife 3 years after.
The divorce of men’s self development coach Tanner Guzy proved to me 2 things- 1. influencers aren’t worth following because they paint a picture of an ideal in life that they’re most likely not achieving – Tanner had some 7 kids and was deeply religious I fully believe that his attachment to religion had created a lot of problems and was probably the core reason as to why he even got a divorce in the first place- this religious delusion had led him to have a seemingly kid after kid with his ex wife- he had a total of 7 and seemingly the workload drove his wife into insanity 2. When religion overtakes rational thought one then really starts potentially having problems with constructing a family and picking an adequte partner and that was the case with Tanner . In fact this was his second divorce- a man of God who seemingly credited religion to his success seemed to refuse to acknowledge that marriage may not be sustainable in the modern world with his own two divorces perhaps being evident of this.
And are these marriage coaches even dating anyone that’s attractive- Jesse Lee Peterson , Tanner Guzy, Richard Cooper, Elliot Hulse all religious mansophere coaches yet don’t seem to be doing much impressive in their dating lives. Conservatism seems to be failing and lets not forget Jordan Peterson’s daughter Mikhaila Peterson fucked Andrew Tate and divorced his husband and is now onto her second marriage.
Mystery also filed for divorced with his wife and subsequently lost custody of his children.
Conservatives Seemingly ignore their own bias or ignore the overstimulated world we live in that have given women endless options in the sexual marketplace. It’s a problem of gurus today that they seemingly ignore their own hypocrisies or refuse to be self aware of them to say the least – the result? Hypocrisy or at least a failure to acknowledge their blatant insufficiencies while plugging ideas that simply don’t work in the real world. Had Tanner held out and maybe married a better woman who wouldn’t simply divorce him after 7 kids – or if Mikhaila Peterson had worked on her first marriage properly and not divorced maybe these conservatives won’t seem so moronic – but alas here we are in an era that seemingly doesn’t make much sense .
Concluding thoughts
The whole debate between political conservatives and liberals in the manosphere has been over done. One that seemingly blew up with the rise f figures like Rollo Tomassi and Jordan Peterson. With the impending change in the direction of the manosphere, the rise of the red pill ,the value of conservative thought has certainly been on the rise the last 5-10 years. Whether or not its made a dent on female behaviour itself is debatable.
If liberals really think that high body counts and boundless sex lead to a secure environment for humanity to thrive then they’re just being deluded but I have a similar thought with conservatives who think that being loyal to god and self sacrifice alone will provide good security in relationships. You see a lot of men being scammed with Thai wives abroad as one example – loyal honest men getting used for a passport in a similar style to what happened to my brother when he married a Russian woman online . Do divorces like Tanner Guzy’s show what happens when hard work and persistence come together and even then it can’t guarantee relationship success . Im all for conservative values of the nuclear family but at the same I don’t want to see my fellow men getting scammed in a relationship and taken to the cleaners in divorce court- why must men gamble with commitment today when they stand to lose so much in divorce? God an’t gonna save you if you lose custody of the kids and he an’t gonna save you if you lose half your shit in divorce that’s for certain.
So where am I going with this?
I don’t know – I want men to increase their chances of winning in relationships that’s why I write this blog – but relationships have consequences , a lot of the time they are positive (LTRS where men get actual benefits, experience of real life interactions and sex being two big positives ) but sometimes they can be negative (divorce, cheating , trauma etc.) Every approach has a risk – be it humiliation in a blow out, the negative effects of being rejected etc. But we do it anyway because the potential wins out way the loses. Men must be rational – never jump into marriages with financial commitment and must create options for themselves- creating that relationship security for a family now will take longer than ever – but with perseverance and hard work I feel some high value men have a good shot at it .
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
Pat SteadMan:
21 Convention speaker Pat Steadman is someone is see as a decent dating coach – whilst I don’t believe he has the brand appeal of a Tom Torero or a global impact in the way of The Natural Lifestyles or a Simple pickup nevertheless he has a decent following – posts good info on twitter regarding relationships and is someone who I think a lot of people can learn from .
He’s also one of the few dating coaches who actually has a loving family , seemingly successfully transitioned to the nuclear family and is in a stable relationship . He’s also the only dating coach that I know that’s been to jail – arrested in his involvement in the Capitol Riots he has since been released from prison at the time of writing and still coaches and tweets regularly. Some info that everyone can learn from.
Verdict: Decent enough outcome – good loving family and not divorced something which someone like Mystery or Tanner Guzy can’t really attest too. In fact most the old g dating coaches other than Zan Perrion none of them are actually in a LTR as of the time of writing which is November 2024.
Jesse From Simple Pickup
When it comes to analysing all of the simple pickup crew its undoubted the impact that they had was global – I don’t think anyone will match these three in terms of impact they had on the game – they showed that even with disabilities that you could glean successes from daygame – whether you loved or hated them their impact will most likely go unmatched forever – taking advantage of a much freer YouTube and being the first people to utilise and take advantage of the subscription based model .
Two average joes Kong and Jesse build a legacy in the Men’s seduction world with Simple Pickup
Having said that some of Jesse’s practices I found a bit iffy- In particular his online dating product Endless Options which claimed to get fat girls stunning girls with just a few lines. The reality was far from this – they used an attractive male 9 and gleaned matches pretending it was a fat guy in their marketing system.
Exposed by John Anthony as having a Seeking Arrangements Account – Ex- Simple Pickup Coach – Jesse
Jesse was caught asking for prostitutes at a fee of $5k a session
It’s a shame when a lot of coaches or course sellers seemingly deny the point of SMV and disregard it at all by selling marketing dreams to schmucks but it seemed like Jesse didn’t care.
Jesse was also seemingly purchasing prostitutes on seeking arrangements and offering them up to $5k for a visit seemingly quite a act of desperation all things considered – there’s something off about an ex pua coach paying for hookers.
Having used Project Go in 2014 I can honestly say as a beginner it was a decent product for me so no hate on them for the original stuff they released – it was a lot of content at a decent price at the time.
Verdict: For their impact between 2012-2014 was undoubted – it’s hard to see Jesse as nothing more than a scam marketer now – considering he has a profile on seeking arrangements its a pretty sad end. Then again he made his f u money so he probably doesn’t give a flying fuck about anyone.
Jason From Simple Pickup:
Definitely the most authentic of the group – Jason was definitely the “fan favourite” who moved on early for Simple Pickup accused of not being hungry enough for entrepreneurship by the other two. Then again he was the most likeable and seemingly the one who did the “least bad things” post breakup. He never stole Jesse’s girlfriend like Kong did- and never ran into scammy marketing or paying for prostitutes a kin to Jesse. All in all if authenticity is the aim of the game Jason had the most of out of the three and seemed the least greedy by far. It’s sad to see your three pick up idols break up but it is what it is. He seemingly pivoted to being a life coach after making a failed “prank YouTube channel” one prank involved him getting knocked out by a random dude on the street after Jason continually mocked him.
Jason on the far left was cut from the team after claims he was unable to match the work ethic and drive of the other two CEOs
Jason’s break up from the simple pickup trio is a sign that business isn’t necessarily all about virtue- it seemed that in post breakup interviews that Jesse and Kong accused Jason of not having the same grind and passion as they did. From the outside looking in I probably wouldn’t really agree with this. From my perspective I believe Jason was the one who didn’t want to commit to scammy and marketing shit whereas the other two would do so.
Verdict: Like-ability wise it’s undeniable – he had the most charisma and authenticity out of all three of them. He wasn’t greedy and didn’t have the lust to fuck people over. I’ll never forget his content and the positive impact he had on my life during my early pickup years and he will forever be my favourite of the three.
Kong Pham From Simple Pickup :
Showing by far the most entrepreneurial flare out of the three Kong Pham’s hunger to succeed is evident. Coming from humble beginnings of a Vietnamese immigrant family in the US to being the CEO of Jump Cut- a platform designed to help Youtubers maximise their earnings. Kong was also involved with apparently stealing Jesse’s girlfriend in a very bizarre turn of events. It’s hard to take the guy seriously after that- I mean how much of dick do you have to be to steal your ex business partner’s girlfriend. Nevertheless his impact on the YouTube entrepreneurship space is undeniable (I wouldn’t want to be his friend or business partner though) able to scale multiple businesses out and be financially free is every entrepreneur’s dream. He was arguably the pioneer in the “monthly subscription based” business model that so many online entrepreneurs lean on now.
Verdict: He had his success I can’t deny him that. Project Go and Jump Cut set him up for life. Is he a untrustworthy dickhead though? Most likely.
Zan Perrion :
21 Convention speaker and Game forefather Zan Perrion – The Author of the Alabaster Girl who was in the original book the game- actually funny fact he’s the only person from that book that’s still in a relationship with an actual woman- Ross Jeffries, Neil Strauss and Mystery are all single! Known for his great speeches and self help motivation talks he resides in Romania with his girlfriend . He continues to do public speaking to this day. His book Alabaster Girl remains one of the most popular in this space. The book received good reviews on Amazon but for my personal perspective is was a little too “spiritual” and had a 1900s writing style to it that I couldn’t really immerse myself into.
One of the Old G’s from The Game- Zan Perrion
Verdict: A pua coach in a relationship!? Who’d have thought – but seriously he’s aged well and seems to still be in shape, healthy, with a daughter from another relationship and having been a two time 21 Convention speaker what’s not to like about him? Definitely an impactful positive person on the pickup space.
Robbie Kramer :
Another ex 21 convention speaker Robbie Kramer – who’s specialities lie in Podcasting and social circle game – he’s gone from daygame to being a social circle expert and is now married. One of the few 21 convention speakers to actually make a LTR with a high value beautiful woman. His leverage podcasts have achieved hundreds of thousands of downloads and his 21 con speeches hundreds of thousands of views. He Is also still coaching and making content on instagram to this day though the quality is sometimes clickbaity and questionable . Which probably serve to entice more people to buy his “social circle” coaching courses more than anything.
Kramer in 2017
Verdict : Can’t hate on the guy – he’s in a happy marriage, had business success and is now seemingly travelling the world with a hot Ukrainian wife – what’s not to like. Although I’d say now his content is not as enjoyable as before hand.
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
This is Rollo’s fifth instalment in The Rational Male Series – if it feels like he’s been part of the manosphere forever- it’s most because he probably has- Rollo rose to fame with his 2014 release of The Rational Male- love him or loathe him he continues to produce content – and it continues to be popular if amazon sales are anything to go by. Rollo has recently become the subject of controversy with beefs with the likes of John Anthony, Anthony Dream Johnson, Alex from Playing with fire to name a few- with critics attacking his books for being too pessimistic and nihilistic – nevertheless his books have had a huge impact. That is for certain and cannot be really denied with Rollo notching up some 240k YouTube subscribers , four books that have dominated sales on Amazon and Audible with largely good reviews, impressive 21 convention speeches which has inspired many podcast creators like Fresh and Fit and Richard Cooper – not that I care much for either of these people but the influence is obviously there.
The book starts out with Rollo showing how this era has changed with women wanting more and more due to the rise of online dating- and yes things have changed to a degree swipe apps, only fans, instagram dating have definitely changed the game for good – has the premise of daygame changed – having done daygame in the era I still believe it can create success for a lot of men- Rollo acknowledges this as well as emphasising the importance on men learning game. He makes an important point that game theory alone will not change those who have Asperger’s or autism – those people need therapy and I definitely agree with that . As someone who’s brother has Asperger’s he always struggled to put himself out there in the socially correct manner – reading “The game” or any theory books wouldn’t really have changed him out of his bad habits- I believe there are a small portion of men that are too cognitively too impaired to make long term connections with women and those who have Asperger’s fall under that . They are also most likely to get played- as my brother did – marrying a Russian woman online who cheated on him with three other men. There are some people who are beyond help and unwilling to change- I have personally seen some people on the autism spectrum thrive doing game – so the subject of autism and game is a delicate one – some coaching and mentoring for said people can work very effectively other times it can make things worse.
Despite this surge in online dating reliance – Rollo fails to point out that most online apps are leaving men today unfulfilled – the crashing stock market price of bumble one of the points that he could’ve utilised to add balance to the conversation- of course I can’t deny that instagram ,hinge and a like will probably dominate the future of game but I also understand they are the source of a lot of frustration for both genders- as Tom Torero said in one of his podcasts there would be a yearning one day for the majority of people to quit online and come back to face to face- for me personally I enjoyed the face to face pick up more-so but I know I am in a minority and even with discussions on Pua forms may give me the feel I am in a majority – people who do face to face pickup will probably be in a minority indefinitely.
Rollo goes onto show off his game showing how its so good that sometimes he has to retract himself so that women don’t escalate on him – this is seemingly unnecessary and irrelevant – like what’s the point? You’re not a game coach and have said you’re not a pua yet you boast about having fantastic game that leads people in- of course he could also just be showing off the fact that he has competent social skills. This boasting continues throughout the first half of the book – it’s also one of the point critiques make of him is that he has an excessive delusion of grandeur .
Rollo goes onto to say that game can’t be therapy that those with autism and Asperger’s should seek therapeutic help and I agree to some degree, however there are alternative arguments – one given by Tom Torero himself that game can be a form of therapy- for many doing daygame it can enable proper human connection something which is lacking in todays social media driven society- for me personally my second ever daygame lay was actually quite therapeutic for me as it did usher in a lot of self confidence and self belief- lays and daygame successes whilst they can’t solve every man’s problem can solve some to a degree and the socialisation that game can create can be incredibly helpful for some people- of course it can have mental downsides too- a lot of rejections can exasurbate the situation and cause mental anguish and pain for certain individuals – all in all in depends on who you are and your position in the game – for some high smv males game can elevate their social status and assure in self confidence that they are in control of their dating lives and that in itself can be therapeutic for others it can have little or no affect and of course there are some people who are in the game that are just quasi sex addicts.
In chapter 4 “Beta game” comfort and patience – I don’t agree with the beta game plan not being a bad problem it depends on the culture of the women you approach – different women want different things . I’ve seen men playing with “beta game” and having success in dating in east Asia. Game needs to be adapted to the social surroundings- for example doing daygame in China – a more easy laid back approach and beta game has proved to be successful in the past by me and my wings – different environments prompt different degrees of game – and Rollo even echoes this point at a later chapter in the book what works with a bar girl in New York may not work with a chick at a music festival- women are inherently different. Rollo also places emphasis on the point that vibe really matters in game – and this is definitely true- the guys with the highest “vibe” in set usually did very well in cold approaches. Hence why you see coaches like James Marshall placing a high emphasis on meditation – or why Tom Torero spoke about this in numerous of his podcasts – vibe is really important in daygame. So if you have issues with your vibe- work on your wellbeing , do more meditation , use infrared sauna- these elements can help reduce cortisol and increase your positive energy and make you more “in the moment” in the sets you approach.
In chapter 5 Rollo argues that – “Social inteligence has been stunted by the digital society” and I’d argue he’s spot on – social media addiction has definitely destroyed men’s brains at least for me during my ages of 13-18 I suffered from video game, social media and porn addiction. I also saw a lot of men in my school also suffer from similar problems at university- when I started my daygame journey I saw a lot of men who suffered from porn and video game addictions in their early 20s which had stunted their social growth and mobility up the sexual market place- I was probably the worst example of this but I saw it in even dating coaches most notably Johnny Berba who admitted to his porn addiction countless times – I never sunk as low as prostitutes but I also had wingmen who had previous addiction of prostitute addictions too which in part was attributed to them hiding away from the need to do daygame or expanding their options properly and face their fears in the real world.
Men are meant to “display higher value” – I’d argue that most wingmen I had in the game were too retarded to show higher value. In fact most people I know don’t really DHV that well , that being said there are still a huge amount of men that do this on instagram- and I agree some of these are produced by “pre planned narrative” The pick up coach Alex Leon shows this on his instagram- he snaps photos in private jets even though said jets are not his – he is a prime example of a “hustle economy” as Rollo puts it coach that makes money off coaching men to have better photos and better social media . Most my wingmen were too retarded really to display this higher value on social media- in fact a lot of men i met in the dating sphere couldn’t even bring themselves to dress right let alone have good instagram pics.
“Solid direct approach often a dhv because it displays value like confidence and humour|” and social intelligence just in your willingness to approach. This shows that even in today’s era of online game- face to face game can still add to your value whatever the scammers of the industry like Alex Ice White want to claim that “Cold Approach Is dead” it most definitely isn’t and it will always be a good tool in your arsenal if done right.
Chapter 18 “You have to be honest when something is wrong and find ways to fix it” an issue with a lot of blue pill and beta men is they hate puas and see them as grifters or scammers – I remember when my brother who’s indecently in a relationship with a single mother whom he met off tinder told me how bad pickup artists were – ironically those dedicated to pua and the game were at least getting some selection of options and were broadening their dating lives- of course we looked like losers running around Oxford street at times at least we were bettering our life situations – most blue pill conditioned men are too scared to do.
The book has these odd stories of where Rollo enters clubs and other venues even a subway sandwich shop and claimed to be getting hit on girls – one situation where Rollo claims a woman in subway with a boyfriend was gaming him and that he was effortlessly getting ioied while buying a sandwich – this is a pretty odd thing for a married woman with a daughter to claim in the book. There was also an other situation where Rollo claims to be hit on by other women in a night club girls and receiving lots of iois . These stories seem again- bizarre- Rollo showing that he’s got game even though he’s been married for some 25 years- iois really mean nothing without some sort of physical intimacy or sex to really justify good game . I had a woman smile at me and laugh at my jokes the other day does that mean she wants to fuck me or likes me ? No- she could well just be a friendly person. It would be odd for me to write filed reports of women “checking me out” or “touching me in a Subway sandwich shop” and write them as actual interactions unless theres a conclusion for at least getting them out on a date and getting physical- these stories seem like fomo from Rollo for his “rockstar 20s” and desperately trying to still fit in with the pua crowd. Proper lay reports from Tom Torero, Nick Krauser or Liam Mcrae’s book probably serve as way better info than purchasing a sandwich at subway and having your hand touched by another woman and have that being the end of the story and claiming you “got game”
Chapter 20 is a period when Rollo dives deep in some approaching techniques which seems just too muddled for my liking and is likely to confuse the majority of beginners – I always feel this side of things is best explained in the field by an actual coach rather than someone who’s probably not done a legitimate daygame approach for 25 years. At this point in the book Rollo reiterates his alpha fucks beta bucks narrative which I’d observed in my own brother who dated a single mum during her epiphany phase and during my original review of the first book in the rational male series I agree that this is a correct observation by Rollo- other manosphere gurus like John Anthony and Anthony Dream Johnson will disagree with this but I’d say Rollo makes a fair point here – I disagree with his “she’s not yours its just your turn narrative” I believe that’s turned pretty nihilistic – or how Rollo emphasises that all women are the same in their nature despite earlier mentioning that different women require different degrees of game – I certainly found that women from different cultures and races were different and required different degrees of game with some lusting for quick hook ups and others more keen on LTRs. Again some people might disagree with me on this but from direct daygame experiences its been my finding- I do like the fact that Rollo places an emphasis on dress and having an identity – when I was at university I played it far too safe with my appearance and didn’t dress well- I was actually bullied by other women for having poor dress sense- as soon as I fixed this aspect my night game results did improve and as a I transitioned to daygame I found that better dress did make a significant difference. Rollo emphasises similar points on clothing to that of Tanner Guzy in his book “The Appearance of Power”.
The second half of the book Rollo dives into what I would call “typical Rational male pointers” “Its better to aim high and fail than aim low and cash out ” – one point I’d observe while living in London most my life is that most men aim very low when it comes to dating often dating below their league and being afraid to date out their league – I think Rollo makes a decent pointer here that men should aim high – I just think that men really don’t know their potential in game unless they think about it in the long term- instead of viewing outcomes of 10 approaches – look at the outcome you’d get for approaching 10 years straight consistently- when I was at university trying desperately to date from night game id get frustrated and burnt out a lot- the issue was I wasn’t focusing on the bigger picture about long term SMV growth combined with consistent interactions. Something which I think 90 percent of men on seduction forums aren’t focused on – rather what I see from beginner wingmen in the field is a few blow outs then they get pissed off with themselves and are seemingly incapable of thinking long term. Of course when I started daygame this was part of the problem- I was always focusing on the individual details like each single set and wasn’t focusing on the bigger picture.
The book ends with an assessment on men’s suicide with Rollo using his brother in law as a prime example – who took his own life after divorce. Now on this blog I’ve written a lot about suicide Rollo discusses it one step further in how men are dominating in this aspect compared to women. Rollo reiterates the importance that men find a use for themselves , find purpose and step away from self help and positive thinking and do for themselves. This is interesting when you look at two most recent suicides in the men’s dating and self development sphere-with Johnny Berba and Tom Torero – both daygame coaches who killed themselves. I’ve blogged extensively about Tom Torero’s death and the impact it had on my life- it was pretty huge- Tom was arguably one of the biggest influences in my blog and without him I would’ve probably not had a lot of the success from cold approach that I did. Yet his death reminded me of the risks of losing it all- for Tom he lost his business and was exposed to the world as a pickup artists creep with his real name- he choose suicide as the best course of action as a result – showing how even self development and men’s self help coaches are just as vulnerable to giving up on their lives as the average man. Dany Hajjaji was never blamed by mainstream media for his death but she played a pivotal roll in it . Yet no one in Msm seemed to care bar a few men in the dating sphere. Johnny Berba was another coach who tried to reiterate the self help positivity guru mindset for over 13 years but eventually gave into his mental health issues and financial debts. I think these examples prove the limitations of self help, positive thinking at a whole – they pale in comparison to life long persistence planning and hard work with a red pill mode of thinking. I think Rollo writes his chapter on male suicide very well in my eyes.
Where I disagree is when Rollo consistently argues that women have no real agency other than their sexuality- this I don’t agree. Lets say you game a female 7 and court her and she turns out to be financially strong and has good connections- if you have children with her life will most likely be a lot easier with her than a female 8 who’s broke and with no connections . Women can bring other value into a relationship other than looks – having dated some hot women who were fucking annoying and poor LTR relationship potential due to their constant agitation and bitchiness- I think this is just a weak argument that Rollo persists with . The dating coach Nick Krauser rose a similar comeback when Rollo proposed this question in an interview with him – siting that during his daygame sessions in Ukraine he met a lot of women with generally impressive and talents beyond their looks that they had created in the face adversity and poverty of Ukraine.
Rollo argues that men aren’t as affected by their high body count as women and I’d also argue against this- I believe that high body count men from my experience are also more pro to sex addiction and in general cheat on their girlfriend’s and are a more prone to moving on too. The fact that Rollo borderline claims that men are unaffected by it is a bit ridiculous- sex is a deeply intimate moment you have with someone else and it’s affects can psychologically stick with your life – I think both high body count men and women are prone to side effects as a result of promiscuity – I certainly saw it in my wingmen and sometimes myself. I think even not getting laid and just watching porn has detrimental effects on men- it makes them timid and unwilling to approach a long with other side-effects like erectial-dysfunction and loss of intimacy during relationships
Concluding thoughts:
Overall The Player’s handbook has a lot of odd moments mixed with good ones – I do think its one of Rollo’s strongest books in the series in particular one of the penultimate chapters about suicide which was extremely interesting for me to read. Are there weaknesses of the book? Well Rollo hasn’t done daygame in about 25 years so he can’t really provide us with “infield” so to speak – some of the self promoting and bigging up of his game come merely with odd conversation with women hostesses and a random woman in a subway sand-which shop- for more practical infield most likely a Tom Torero or Nick Krauser book would be far superior to this. Having said that there are bits of knowledge spread out between a lot of arrogant here-say and conjecture . Overall if you’re a beginner newb trying to establish yourself in the daygame setting this book may be of use to you- if you’re 100+ lays in you probably won’t get much value from it bar the occasional chapter- if you’re considering entering marriage maybe this could be practical for you particularly if you haven’t dated many women.
Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach Im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc. For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France or San Francisco if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com
Rollo Tomassi is a controversial figure in the dating space – one who’s divided many a dating coach and who’s philosophies have been debated for roughly 15 years in the space. Tomassi grew to my attention around 2017 with his 21 Convention speech although I met wingmen who’d been following his blogs on the So Suave since 2010. He drew praise from several dating coaches including Tom Torero, Nick Krauser , James Tusk but drew a fair chunk of critics from other dating coaches most notably John Anthony who entered in a long bitter online feud with Tomassi, Ross Jeffries (Who refused to even finish the book) and James Marshall.
Just to put it clear I am on the fence with this guy- on the one hand I find some of what was written in the book to be incredibly relatable to me – on the other hand I can understand why people don’t like it and don’t like him. Do I like Rollo? He’s not my cup of tea as a person as he seems a bit too self obsessed and the launching of the red pill lions NFT left me feeling a bit suspicious of the guy. But I think he offers some value to people out there – all be it in an overly nihilistic way. I think he deserves a chunk of criticism for some of the things he’s said whilst others I believe people are being overly harsh – like calling him an old grandpa? I mean we all get old- he has a low lay count? I mean he’s in a marriage and is there to provide security for his daughter- what do people expect him to do keep fucking other women whilst he has a daughter and wife?
His break down with Anthony Dream Johnson was another factor that made me concerned over Tomassi’s behaviour along with his close relationship with Richard Cooper who along with Alex Ice White has to be one of the fucking worst dating coaches I’ve ever seen. My agreements with the book lodge on what I have experienced in my own life and of course don’t constitute an exact science – with dating there are many variables , I’ve seen broke guys and ugly guys get laid and I’ve seen male models get blown out ruthlessly in daygame – it will never be an exact science ever and that’s what’s so beautiful about game – there are 100s of variables that can impact every girl, every date and every interaction. These can vary depending on the socio economic condition where you meet the woman , religion and luck (Like approaching a woman who’s ovulating – being in the right place at the right time) . So my analysis of the book based on my life maybe quite different to other people who’ve had different dating experiences or live in different socioeconomic or political environments. I mean at the end of the day 100 cold approaches in Sweden is going to go pretty differently than 100 cold approaches in Saudi Arabia.
About this Review
I can’t critique every aspect of the book or else this review would be 20 pages long , there’s simply too much to look through here. I’ve already written to much crap and waffled on for way too long anyway- I’ll probably stretch out the rest of my opinions on this book onto the other books – Positive Masculinity and the Players Handbook.
Aspects I did like about the book:
Rejection is better than regret
Rollo is often criticised by being overly pessimistic in the book – but really he does encourage men to make options and to keep approaching I think this is really important for every single man to acknowledge – on the dating forums- so suave forums- SkilledSeducer the biggest issue for men today is their lack of options – the ex The Natural Lifestyles Coach Liam Mcrae who is now married to a super model stated that the biggest problem of men today is that they don’t approach enough – he sited Volume as the key to his success- even John Anthony (one of Rollo’s biggest enemies in the space) has stated countless times you need to increase your volume from all aspects of game. Despite John calling the book “all bullshit” he does plug a lot of the ideas in his YouTube channels so there are some cross overs- of course James Marshall too a critique of Rollo’s books also plugs the importance of volume
Fake Alpha’s
The chapter on false alpha’s – people like school teachers who are only made alpha because of their environment was true to me – I mean again a lot of people won’t agree with me on this one but when I was in high school in London young substitute teachers and sometimes actual teachers would bone the 17-18 year old women in my school . This was weird as fuck for me to watch but even one of my female friends said to me “ That teacher isn’t attractive it’s just the fact that he’s a teacher and the taboo of having sex with a teacher that’s attractive to me” Now to reiterate this is just my personal experience and doesn’t constitute exact science but what Rollo was discussing did happen in my personal life- teacher’s in school systems do have alpha male and leadership characteristics which are attractive to them and therefore can cause them to have a lot of success in the environment that they are in surrounded by inexperienced low smv high school 17-18 year olds as there only competition . At my school another girl entered a LTR with a solider 10 years older than her – once she finished high school and they married the marriage broke down very shortly after – maybe again because the woman in question was now around a lot more alphas at university than before – A solider v a bunch of high schoolers is going to be an alpha in that environment no matter what but against higher value smv men in the real world he may struggle. This matched similar to the teacher “false alpha” relationship with the student that Rollo provided – again not an exact science but still a real life situation that I witnessed that was similar to the examples the book gave.
Alpha fucks and beta bucks
Again I witnessed this in my own life- my older brother entered a LTR with a single mum he met off tinder – this was pretty distressing to me as I saw my brother being used for his resources to look after a woman who’d been fucked by the alpha male- My brother’s lack of options due to his reliance on online game had led him to this relationship out of resignation – again a combination of lack of options and the fact that the western world generally favours female mating strategy led my brother to a bad ending . Had my brother gamed in eastern Europe or south east Asia with his SMV he would have been able to fuck many high smv women and wouldn’t have had to settle with a single mum and looking after another person’s kid.
Even at University the physically strongest- best looking men seemed to come up tops – High school it was nearly around 70-80 percent of the time when looks came up on tops- other smv factors like money didn’t really come into play then but as I approached my 30s+ it definitely seemed like more of a dealbreaker in relationships than before. At high school there was also relationship inequality with roughly 10 percent of the guys fucking 90 percent of the sexually active women- something which no doubt is representative in the modern day tinder/Instagram era. Nevertheless I think Rollo is accurate about the Alpha fucks mentality – of course not all women are getting fucked by alphas and wifed up by betas- but in my family’s situations and analysing what happened to my brother it does happen. Ironically my brother detests pickup artists and sees them as losers which is ironic as most of pick up and any alpha male would probably see my brother as a loser. My brother has smv though- he is accomplished author and multimillionaire – by all definition he had SMV but game and broadening of options once again does matter especially in a competitive city like London and without it it’s very difficult for most men to move up the sexual market place.
Develop new relationships : Don’t Fix broken ones:
I definitely agree with this around 80 percent though chasing old leads can sometimes be successful – utilising techniques like Instagram stories can be a decent way to find reengage with old leads though 99 percent of the time you should be pursuing new ones. Too much of so suave , reddit seductions and the skilled seducer forums are full of men trying to regain the frame in a situation where they were never really going to win in the first place . These men will almost always benefit from finding more options and opening new women- but most men are too egotistical for that shit instead they clamour onto some third tier left over trash from Hinge or try to make it work with an old university romance instead of having some balls to go out there and meet new people.
Women and Men’s SMV peak at different times
In high school I was left flabbergasted as to why the women in my year group were fucking men 1-2 years older than them. I never understood why they did it. Life experience definitely was something that mattered to women – it was attractive yet when I was young I didn’t understand. For women the attraction was never just physical – there were physically attractive men in my year but most the women opted for dating a year or two older- when I was at university I met a lot of women dating 5-10 years older than their age – I was shocked but as time went by and I noted the value of life experience in hooking up on dates then I began to realise it- inexperienced men in life are fucking boring – I was fucking boring as shit- I remember my first date aged 19 I fucking sat in silence because I had never done anything interesting in my life. I watched the attraction slowly fade from a girl who was down to f to realising I was a boring piece of shit ( I had made out with her at a festival the week before) Once I began my daygame and interacting with people in real life I realised actually being interesting was needed somewhat to keep the convo alive- it was the younger day gamers those between 18-23 that really seemed to struggle and it was to be expected after all these guys had little life experience to hook women properly in daygame . Hence why I saw usually the biggest success rate between 25-35 year olds similar to what Rollo writes about in his book.
Interestingly again those who critique Rollo the most end up teaching similar things – John Anthony stated on YouTube that life between 20-30 is tough as you don’t have life figured out at the point , similarly James Marshall said that dating in his 30s was a lot easier than in his 20s and would often aimed to seduce young women in eastern europe dating as low as 17 (that’s too fucking young for me but you do you) In the end most daygame coaches are aware than experience matters – I’ve winged with young 18-20 year old daygamers before and they make some of the worst wingmen due to their inability to hook.
SMV Matters
This aspect has been repeated by those who’ve critiqued Tomassi in the past- James Marshall , John Anthony who reiterated that you have to be the best product possible , Sasha daygame who stated that to get excellent women you have to be an excellent man- all together these dating coaches are roughly in line with the principles that Rollo expresses in his blog . Nick Kruaser who is a Rollo Tomassi fan reiterated that daygame was only a medium to date a few points above your smv and nothing more which I agree with.
Aspects I disagree with in the Rational Male
How to keep a Woman’s interest
Rollo says not to be too available – I disagree with this if you intend on making her your girlfriend you should show keen interest- I say this because in 2019 I dated a girl I wanted to be my girlfriend I then chose to ignore her after having sex to keep her on my heels – eventually she dropped interest thinking I didn’t like her- my playing hard to get actually ended putting her off. This is an ok strategy to keep a friend’s with benefits but it can be a chaotic one if you’re trying to establish connection and a long term relationship and some men need LTR experience. When I was single and had no girlfriend bouncing from woman to woman unable to get some stability- this advice actually fucked up two relationships with women. Then again I also think it depends on the culture you are dating – more conservative women want more attention than the liberal ones from my opinion – upon dating conservative Chinese women for example this technique would backfire and they would end up just seeing it as a loss of interest. I see too many wingmen playing too hard to get and not being proactive enough to get the woman out .
Never Self-deprecate
I mean that depends on the context right? Sometimes humour used in the right amount can relieve pressure and be a sign of intelligence and smv- I really don’t agree with this – it’s too much of a generalisation . Humour can be a sign of SMV and can help your game in interactions of course too much of anything is a bad thing and in my early years of daygame I struggled by excessively always trying to be funny and try hard at anytime.
Women obey the imperative of fucking the alpha man while marrying the nice guy
Ok this is sometimes true – but again women are complex creatures with different ideologies – political, social and different relationship goals. I’ve met women who had no interest in fucking alphas and just wanted children and settle down straight away – I’ve also met women who do ride the alpha cock carousel and do settle down with a beta bucks like Rollo said – that’s the thing about Rollo he’s sometimes right about things and sometimes wrong – there are 100s of examples that can prove and disprove his points at the same time.
As per my own experience I saw my brother enter a relationship with a single mother and now having to essentially look after another man’s problem- I am left wondering if the woman she’s dating now would be with her if she wasn’t a single mum. Most likely not. Rollo’s rule probably works in some context now as especially in the west now more single mum’s than ever before . So you’re obviously going to be able to find more examples of this situation working out now purely via mathematical probability.
Monogamy as a goal is a tool of the feminine imperative
Now I don’t really think that monogamy best serves women’s interests I believe monogamy and security itself provides the best environment for the children’s interests. Seeing a lot of men and women that were mentally scared by their parent’s divorces I definitely saw the value in the nuclear family and marriage – of course if not marriage then what is the end game for men who want to marry and have children? Rollo says don’t do it because of the threat of divorce and losing your money. But relationship security does benefit the children at large there are a lot of statistics to state that children of two parent households out perform those of single parent house holds and are less likely to be involved in crime . Rollo seemingly ignores this- also men can benefit from an LTR – as someone in one currently its a great experience to grow with one individual and form a loyal bond with someone . Rollo again doesn’t really mention any of these benefits to men or the children – rather than focusing on how monogamy benefits wider society at large which I believe it does . If every guy was continually looking to fuck non stop and not committing to LTRs then society would invariably collapse – marriage was one of those jurisdictions that enabled society to function. The stats speak for themselves. One thing pick up artist coaches seem to forget (as I wrote about in the previous Liam Mcrae book reviews) was the effects that seemingly boundless sex can have on a man and a woman- it’s known now that women with high body count seem to have problems pair bonding with men – similarly I’ve known in my male wings with high lay counts their inability to settle long term- it’s interesting to note from my personal dating expirences that high body count women tend to me the most insecure and hard to formulate LTRs with . You even see it somewhat in prostitutes who are mentally fucked up from sex and heavily tatted up. Sex is an intense experience and can last with us for life – even though I am still in two minds over conservative attitudes towards marriage for reasons as Rollo mentioned I realise that society is just better off when the nuclear family sticks together though that is obviously a lot harder to accomplish these days.
Men Should be in control of their own contraception
I mean unless you’re a celebrity or have a massive smv gap then I don’t know if there is much danger of this happening- from a personal stand point I’ve not seen a woman entrapping a man from tinkering with the contraception.
But there are celebrity examples you could draw on that support this viewpoint – Drake being the most obvious one as he busted in a porn stars vagina when she said she was taking the pill – she turned out to be lying and alas has locked down access to drake’s financial support for life- unless you’re an elite level man you really won’t need to worry about this or in a situation where you are dating someone way below your smv I only see that happening . Again Rollo uses the example of NBA players at fuck parties and I believe its a valid concern for those at the very cream of the top of SMV- but lets face it the majority of men on seduction and dating websites or who read seduction literature are likely to be bottom of the barrel smv times like me who lost out a lot on dating experiences at a young age and are now looking for guidance – it’s likely a top level celebrity would probably be too busy to read this sort of advice anyway even though I think it is genuinely good for them.
Woman are incapable of loving a man the way he wishes to be loved
Don’t agree with this – again in some situations this maybe true- but again another piece of Rollo Tomassi’s advice maybe used to combat this notion. If you increase your options simply you increase the probability in finding women that can love you the way you want- When I started daygame and genuinely started increasing my options I started to date more loving feminine women- I ditched the English moaning feminists and was able to date women that suited the ideology and loved me the way I wanted to be loved. Again I feel that Tomassi is taking advantage of his readers in experience here somewhat . If you have 0 lays and no options reading this book you’d be included to believe his thoughts- if you’re siting on 100 lays then you will be able to call out Tomassi’s bullshit pretty easily. The fact is the majority of men reading this book probably don’t have experience as is the case with most pua material- I was drawn to the pua sphere originally due to my lack of experience and took a lot of what Rollo said at face value due to my lack of experience – some of it was good and some of what was bad – again I reiterate the best thing one can do is go on the field do a couple thousand cold approaches and learn female psychology on their own call rather than relying on one person who did pua 30 or so years ago to guide them.
Don’t wait for a woman who makes you wait- any woman who makes you wait for sex is not worth it
I mean this depends really on the girl- if its a high value woman who can add to your social life who wants a few extra dates to close then it’s fine. Issue with a lot of men in the pua space is they’re to hungry to bone on the first date from my experience and this can lead to them not forming solid relationships or bonds with girls that would fuck them but would want some time to suss them out . Ironically Rollo and his bestie Richard Cooper hate on women with large body counts but also seem to critique women who make you wait for sex? I mean we can’t have it both ways can we?
Concluding thought on The Rational Male-
The Rational male features a lot of so so aspects some are good and some are bad. Ironically those in the past who’ve critiqued the book saying its all garbage have had some similar aspects of their teachings in their own coaching. So while the likes of John Anthony and James Marshall do critique it there are aspects which they themselves have argued in their own teaching . The one most important aspect of Pick up is life experience- as Rollo who himself quoted Nick Krauser :
a man who does 100 cold approaches learns more about female psychology than any book could ever teach him.”
I noticed in those unsuccessful at pickup the rational male had the biggest influence – or those who went through real relationship hardship. My friends and wings who were already good at dating really ignored it and just carried on going about there business approaching women without caring much for Tomassi’s rules – these people seemed to thrive the most- in fact I think theres a good argument that overthinking Rollo Tomassi’s psychology is something that can be of huge determent to anyone in the field of seduction. The best times seduction went well for me was when I didn’t care and focused on increasing my options and being proactive approaching. Im not sure if much of Rollo Tomassi’s fanbase have even done enough cold approaches to glean a real perspective of relationships. Most of the people that I see who read Rollo’s work and admire it the most usually do the least proactive action. That being said there are prominent pickup artists that do like it- Nick Krauser , Tom Torero and James Tusk to name but a few.
All in all women are complex creatures- each nation has different socio economic factors affecting it. Women’s mating strategies can vary from nation to nation even from city to city especially when it comes to the US – their political ideologies and religion can also have huge variances. Making unilateral rules can really not work because there are too many different factors at play- the only way which people will learn this is to do their own cold approaches independent of any pick up coaches ideas or influences – only then will they be able to form proper conclusions and this takes time- it takes effort and focus. Without the approaches and the experience reading the Rational Male series won’t really get you the relationships you want- indeed it was only till I did several hundred approaches that I began to see female psychology for what it was and that some parts of the book were in fact wrong but I needed that experience for myself.
It’s no wonder that the person who benefited the most from Rollo’s work was Richard Cooper who built his own fan base around Rollo’s ideas- Richard himself has never as far as I am aware had a cold approach lay or any real relationship experiences bar dating two single mum’s . Not really much to boast and not really that impressive – yet he was able to build a fan base of 700k subscribers and build a business off Rollo’s work. This is just nuts and doesn’t really make much sense from my perspective – he had far less lays and successful relationships than James Marshall, Liam Mcrae, Tom Torero, Nick Krauser- this is evidence enough in my eyes that men really lack proactive experience in their dating lives or else they wouldn’t be following a guy who’s achieved border line nothing in game bar two relationships with single mum’s . Your own experiences with women matter and building up a volume of approaches matters for the majority of men more so than any book or theory- no matter what changes in society or intersexual dynamics the only aspects you can control are SMV and the amount of approaches you can do. Most things else are beyond your control.
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
Jonathan Neil Thomsen Ex Coach From The Natural Lifestyles: –
This one was a bad egg of the TNL group – an example of how PUA’s can be seen as losers or bottom tier scrubs of society. After betraying James Marshall the guy went on some angry instagram posting rants against meditation and self help despite seemingly attending these courses voluntarily himself- he also went on rants on the natural lifestyles youtube channel (since now deleted) which seemed to bear resemblance to me being told off by my father than actual real advice .
Even during his time at TNL students would often complain about him being too strict and intense – in James Marshall’s book A Natural History -Thomsen would have frequent mental breakdowns and break ups- he’s probably the least successful out of the old g TNL crew. Looking at pictures On the whole looking at his instagram I hope I don’t end up like a loser like him even though there are times I think I could well end up so – I hope I never end up being such a loser that I’d betray my business partners and play ukulele on the beach into my 40s whilst promoting pronouns and pro Ukraine propaganda on my instagram page with shitty self help affirmations that don’t mean shit. Unfortunately this is one dead end route a lot of dating coaches can take.
Jonathan Neil Thomsen in 2024
Verdict: A failure really – I mean what the fuck was James thinking hiring a loser who has self help meltdowns on instagram and plays ukulele on the beach in his underpants – no wonder Johnanthan ended up betraying James. It’s no surprise really the proof was in the pudding even in the early stuff James wrote about in his book “a natural history” Probably TNL’s own version of a Johnny Berba by the looks of things.
Johnny Berba:
I am not a fan of Johnny from a PUA perspective- I saw him as rash and unable to look after himself properly whilst he did daygame. His impact on London daygame was evident however with many people commenting on his YouTube videos about the positive influence that Johnny had had on their lives.
Needless to say he seemed worn out when I met him in 2018 and bear in mind this was 6 years before he committed suicide – His weight loss in his later years coupled with his drop in youtube views seemingly was indicative of the downward spiral that. Johnny eventually took his own life in November 2024 – a stark reminder that after 13 years of self help and self development guru coaching he was unable to save himself . Despite regular exercise and a clean diet he lost his mental health battle to OCD. A lesson that shows that some people with mental health issues sometimes need external help – more than diet and exercise when seeking solutions.
Johnny Berba on the right
Verdict: Reading comments after his death showed he had a huge influence on people in London going out of his way to help others often times giving free mentoring and advice – but it’s a reminder to have discipline over your own life first before helping others and that there is only so much benefit that can be gleaned from self help.
Rollo Tomassi :
Tomassi at the 21 Convention in 2017
Grew to fame due to his famous books – The Rational Male series- maybe lingered a bit too long in the Manosphere space – long enough to release his own red pill lion’s NFT. I mean he released 4 books, had a popular YouTube channel with some 250k Youtube subscribers , he made the big money – whether or not he was 100 percent honest at all times is up for debate and whether their ideas were truly of his own making or whether he had a lot of help from being a moderator of the SoSauve Forums influenced his creativity or not is up for debate as a good percentage of his ideas seemed to be gleaned from his posts back/ the posts of other users.
But I still like some aspect of his books – most of my wingmen see though him as overly a negative influence on men’s dating and I can understand it – someone who has risen to the occasion and maybe thrived off the rising divorce rates, rising men’s suicide rates, rising inequality in relationships and dating we see today. Some of his arguments are good and some are bad- he’s often seen as a scapegoat by the likes of John Anthony and Alex from Playing with Fire. Sometimes the criticism is fair sometimes it’s not . Whether or not you like or hate him – hypergamy does exist , SMV does matter and being proactive about creating options is crucial for 99 percent of men in the dating space today.
Verdict: Well he made a lot of money, has what looks like a decent family and has several good 21 speeches, podcasts and books. I see him as a success although a lot of people in the seduction world could view him as a negative influence due to him constantly trolling people with relationship disasters or failures – I think the jury is still out on this one for me personally but I did enjoy the first and third books which made my list on the top 12 seduction books. I mean overall was there a need for 4 books? One seemingly was enough to draw the main points across but I guess the greed and need to cash in was there – even on the third (which I liked originally) I think he could’ve done a bit better to create some more unique insights , offered more in statistics etc. instead he just seems to regurgitate the same ideas before finally revealing some new insight by chapter 6-7ish by that time it just feels too late in my eyes. Whether he got greedy or not – and I think the red pill lion’s NFTs probably proves he was I still see him as a positive influence although I understand the disagreements and critique of his ideas.
Dj Fuji:
Four time 21 Convention speaker DJ Fuji resides in the US – he was one of the early influences in my dating life. He gave a lot of good advice in his 21 Convention talks which I didn’t understand at the time (I was too young and dumb really to get it all) Nevertheless his interviews and speeches gave me a realistic outlook and blueprint to follow on daygame. He has a seemingly attractive girlfriend and is continually teaching to this day. He’s well dressed, charismatic and has had an interesting career serving in the Marines- helping clients with their limiting believes and setting the example that men who are short and ethnic minorities can succeed in the dating space.
Dj Fuji with his girlfriend in 2024
Verdict: A success really – a PUA coach in an actually good LTR. A strong example for short Asian men to follow that success can be achieved in the PUA space regardless of ethnicity or height.
Erik von Markovik (Mystery) :
Im in two minds about mystery nowadays as I am with a lot of pickup artists who were dominating the early 2000s – In recent interviews Mystery has looked out of sorts of course he’s just lost his sister and mother and it could be argued anyone in the same exact position would be looking worn out and depressed too. He’s also been through a lot relationship wise getting divorced and battling for the custody of his kids. Those instances would take their toll on anyone – I don’t think I’d look very good personally if I was going through that shit. Mystery was heavily criticised in James Marshall’s book entitled: “ A natural history” in which James called him a pua with Asperger’s that couldn’t be taken seriously and the fact that mystery has failed to maintain an LTR could be indicative of this. As personally my brother too has Asperger’s and often found LTR’s difficult to maintain – whether his game skill got him the women or the simple fact he’s 6 ft 5 is up for debate. In any daygame sense – if you’re 6 ft 5 and you approach 100-200 women you most likely will eventually get laid regardless of your apparent neurodevelopment disorders.
But it does paint an obscure picture for pickup artistry in that the leader of the movement – Mystery can sell 2 million copies of one of the best written PUA books of our generation and still end up with a divorce and for better of for worse continue to make subpar content in regards to his recent interviews with Game Global . Mystery seemingly went off the rails after losing custody of his kids posting on men’s rights facebook groups during his retirement phase however this is somewhat understandable given the mental toll losing your children can have on anyone.
His interview on the Game Global Youtube Channel nonetheless was disappointing in which he advised people dating women to do chores with them before the date instead of going to a coffee shop – he suggested going to the bank for a first date . I can understand him not thinking straight given what he’s been through but I do think he has declined physically, mentally somewhat and in terms of the advice he gives now it seems to be way off the mark. It seems to be tough for him to even give what I’d consider good advice out now even looking at him now he does look rough.
He says he’s still looking for his soulmate in his 50s , a kinda sad ending for someone so dedicated to the game – who wrote so well back in the day to still be going through relationship problems now and judging by his physical appearance has found it hard to maintain his health and smv. (Of course I’m aware of the trails and tribulations he’s faced and I haven’t faced such issues of such magnitude but It’s still disappointing to see his decline nonetheless)
Mystery’s story is another example to show that daygame coaches are really just human beings prone to making mistakes and can be liable to errors as much as your average Joe . They get divorces too , they get breakups , shit happens to everyone – The key is not to idolise or see them as people who can do no wrong which I personally can attest to have done in the past.
Verdict: A complete success when it comes to book sales- I don’t think anyone will out do him ever on that front. With the decline in interest in PUA literature too its unlikely anyone ever will write a better , more internationally known piece of literature on game. His relationships , a divorce and the loss of the custody of his two kids are food for thought especially for those looking to commit and marry in the modern tumultuous era of marriage.
Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach Im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc. For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France or San Francisco if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com
The book cover
Liam Mcrae’s second book written during his time with The Natural Lifestyles – I see this book as the least practical of the three by far (that doesn’t mean its a bad book necessarily by any means) I just mean for me personally Tinder seduction guides aren’t really applicable to the majority of men in the daygame sphere because the majority of men in the daygame community don’t get good matches anyway. So only a small portion of Liam’s audience will probably be able to replicate these results- also in 2024 the apps are a lot more saturated with men that women now so it’s hard to see how much of this can be effective in 2024- still my top tier wings do get good dates on tinder so I think the opportunities are there for sure but I think the majority of men on dating and self development and dating forums would be better off doing cold approach rather than tinder.
Liam acknowledges this point early on that it was his seven years as a dating and daygame coach that was the key to him getting good at tinder dates and escalating – he acknowledges right off the bat that:
Liam Mcrae on the Left with Ex-TNL Coach Jess on the right
“Every second you spend texting girls on tinder is a wasted second wasted, that could be better spent approaching girls in real life, so get your communication skills up to scratch first.Go and say hi to a girl on the street before creating a tinder account”
Here even on page 1 he highlights the flaws of most people in dating – they rely on online as their main source of dates then get pissed when the tinder match or the hinge match doesn’t reply – daygame skills are essential to dating success – they are the most important aspect by far and I 100 percent agree with this.
In his first lay report Liam makes a very valid point “ 95 percent of guys using online dating are so thirsty for sex and they want to believe in the fantasy of “easy” sex so badly that they put pressure on the girl to verbalise her desires or agree in advance to sex:
“The paradox is that by being so blatant and hungry for it, they take the mystery out of it, display low social intelligence, and a pass up the chance to give her the pounding she’s craving. Going into the date open to all outcomes but attached to none gives you a much better chance of getting laid than feeling entitled to sex and pressuring the girl to fuck you just because you’re there”
I think this is a fantastic point – something that I notice a lot on seduction Reddit is that people are so outcome dependant that they take the mystery out of sex – or they get butthurt at the first sign of resistance . I’ve seen a lot of frustrated wings in my time who get thrown off the minute there is resistance or she doesn’t want to fuck . I believe by creating more options and more social opportunities
Liam has some good advice midway through about dealing with initial poor interactions “ Instead over the years I’ve come to understand that a girl not responding with 100 percent overt positive enthusiasm or seems disengaged can sometimes be shy.” Again a good piece of advice in terms of understanding that some women might not interact positively not because they’re dis interested but because they are just of a shy or introverted nature. Far too many times ( myself included) people in seduction never really take the woman’s feelings come into account and make massive drawn out conclusions from a few minutes of interaction.
Liam Mcrae on the right in 2014
Liam’s ability to create rapid escalation from Tinder meet-ups is impressive , he has sex with a lot of his tinder dates far quicker than I would imagine I’d be capable of – again a lot of these lays do read like lays similar to his 2013 book Rapid Escalation – once again Liam demonstrates similar confidence and ability here . He also shows versatility – despite this being a book about Tinder he does throw in a few successful daygame interactions which do lead to good results in addition to this . He does date some seemingly serial cheater and dishonest women but who am I to judge? One woman who divorced after a $20,000 wedding with a Hungarian man after 8 months and cheated on him with Liam without Liam realising until she tells him some months into their relationship. This same women in question ends up being a psycho story which is an entertaining story but shows that even the best womanisers will have to endure some nutcases here and then – I also hope I never end up dating someone like that who can really fuck up and decimate someones life long term – but each to their own . Liam Mcrae even shows these stalker messages texts as “Budapest Physco” in his phone and shares the screenshots.
Liam Mcrae with Tony Solo far left , Shae Matthews Centre – Liam admitted to being styled by ex TNL coach Jess
The texting material is not the most practical here, but still interesting nonetheless – the guide on good pictures is very useful- a common problem with most newbies In the dating space is they have poor photos – Liam was one of the first to do YouTube videos of this back in 2016 when he was getting flakes off tinder due to his poor photos – he provides antidotes and solutions here that I think most beginner seducers will be interested in.
Liam in 2015
Again the debates are similar to the previous books -debating that women “are often really valued for their purity and their virginity and yet all the guys there want a woman to give them sex and aren’t very sensitive to their needs. It’s a paradox” Again this is the great paradox – on the one hand there is some evidence that women who have fewer sexual partners seem to have less divorces on average than women who have more – so I think that Liam ignores this side of the debate and its one that concerns me when I am sleeping with a girl am I fucking her up mentally? Relationships have consequences and my one critique of this is that I don’t think Liam clocks this well enough and the entire TNL crew seemingly never wants to discuss this issue. Would Liam himself want his daughter to have a high body count? Im not sure- from my personal opinion lower body count girls need to be more loyal and tend to be better set up for long term relationships. I found women who’d had many sexual partners and boyfriends difficult to control as they’d often have the most mental issues too. I guess this is Liam’s major weakness in all three books- he overlooks this all the time almost as if he doesn’t want to take responsibility – despite a few of his lovers have mental breakdowns due to it in the previous two books he doesn’t seem to stop and care about what his impact on actually having sex with these women has and given that quite a few of the women had mental breakdowns both in this book and the Limitless Seducer and The Rapid Escalation books it would’ve been good of him to somewhat acknowledge that continuous hook ups were impacting these women’s mental state to some degree.
The book has several lay reports from other TNL coach Shae Matthews and I am honestly not a big fan of his as he tends to overcomplicate things and thinks an overtly spiritual “World salad” level akin to Zan Perrion which again just isn’t my style. One of her lovers did buy him plane tickets to Abu Dhabi which I did find cool though- showing the potential of social value that women can really bring to your life- good women who love and respect you can really add convenience to your lifestyle. Other than that its a lot of the usual self help spiritual voo doo from Shae which is not my cup of tea personally but other viewers may find interesting . Given he’s the only TNL member who’s never released infield it’s also hard to take his advice that seriously- though I do believe his lay reports it’s just hard to find relatable when there’s no evidence of him in field to see how he actually interacts with women.
Liam also talks about the lows- some poor dates with girls that don’t look like their photo also one incident where he meets a woman who has a boyfriend then finds out half way through the date and leaves as he finds out the girl is just using him for attention – once again I admire Liam for noting the highs and lows of seduction and being honest for what it entails. Even a one week dry streak while traveling Ireland shows that even the best can hit rough patches especially on online dating.
One of Liam Mcrae’s Tinder photos
Liam makes an excellent point in the penultimate chapter regarding the negatives associated with radical honesty and how they can ruin your dating game. Stating:
“Many guys are too honest too early in a relationship. I had a friend who would tell every girl he went on a date with that he wasn’t looking for a committed relationship. This level of brutal honesty is not only unnecessary; it’s actually socially uncalibrated.
Does a car salesman say: “Hi. I’m Mark Welcome to Porche! Just to be 100 percent honest my job is to make you feel cool and make you need this expensive sports car by associating it with sex, status and power. I don’t actually want to be friends with you. I just want your money.” Does a doctor say “ Hi, Welcome to the hospital. You know people die here? Your relative is old as fuck. They’re gonna die, and then you’re gonna burn their body. Or bury it so it rots in the ground! Just being honest! Of course not. While both of those things are unspoken truths, there is no reason to say them out loud.”
A big mistake I made when I started game in 2013 was being too honest too early on – say to women I only wanted to fuck them and I didn’t want to be in a LTR with them. This was a huge mistake that deterred many women – you need to keep the romantic image alive and in focus. By being radically honest early on you’re killing the romance early on in the relationship . Radical honesty early on – before you’ve even had sex with the girl at least a couple of times is not a good look in my eyes- you need to maintain that romantic infatuation for as long as possible even if your goal is not an ltr with said woman.
There’s some basic advice for taking photos – for example “Don’t Look at the Camera directly” the importance of fashion with some points that are really crucial and often overlooked by wingmen on the field – I spoke about this in my Tanner Guzy book review – fashion is really important and you need to make sure you are well dressed in all your Tinder photos as well as when you are cold approaching women- it’s really the bear minimum you can do. Your fashion can help to build a story of who you are in the woman’s mind – it can help create a fantasy in her head about what meeting and fucking you will be like. For me a lot of my flakes in my early game years from 2013-2015 were due to my subpar photos – I’d close women in nightclubs on Facebook then they’d see all sorts of shitty photos of me drinking strongbow at a house party and think “Why the fuck would I date this loser” and in fairness they were right – I presented myself as a loser with no hobbies or interests in my photos so why should I expect them to follow up if I had boring and dull photos that weren’t stimulating to them. Liam explains things well in this book and I honestly have said it time and time again good photos and fashion are a bear minimum for those starting out daygame or online game. It doesn’t take much or cost much to fix this issue but not fixing it can result in a lot of flakes and blow outs if you don’t. Liam recommends taking pics with a processional photography at least once or twice a year and I’d definitely agree with this. He also uses examples of bad photos and what not to use self critiquing his old Facebook photos.
Here Liam Discusses bad photos in detail in his book Another example here of bad photos
Conclusions :
I like Liam a lot as a dating coach and I believe he conveys ideas well that is easy to follow for all levels of daygamers. I think all his books are worth reading for beginners if you can get your hands of them. He may not be around anymore coaching but you can probably absorb a good 80 percent of his coaching and his ideologies by just reading these three books alone. This book is not your generic- 3 text lines to get your tinder match in bed he actually goes into the physiology of dating and dealing with the highs and lows- I think he conveys it better than Torero, Krauser and Zan Perrion . In fact I wrote in my previous review that Zan Perrion was a great speaker but a poor writer- I see Liam as the opposite- not the best public speaker of all time when it came to Pua in his 21 convention speeches but someone who’s excellent at conveying his ideas on paper. I recommend his books for those at all levels as I said before – particularly those who need some guidance about social media and improving their pictures it’s probably the most underrated tinder seduction book out there in my eyes.
Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc. For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France or San Francisco if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com
The men’s dating and self development scene has lost a lot in recent years when you combine deaths by health problems , suicide , retirements its been a rough 7 or 8 years when you accumulate all the madness that has unfolded. Leaving behind a community that is stricken of its once leaders the PUA space has definitely lost it’s mojo – its sense of community . Johnny Berba’s the latest casualty in an ever more tumultuous manosphere environment that continues to lose key figureheads.
Both had a history of anxiety and depression
Tom’s was developed early like Johnny’s – he suffered from social anxiety growing up and documents how it took over his life at Oxford University. Johnny too grew up being bullied with a lot of social anxiety – it could be said though that Johnny’s childhood was a lot rougher – with him suffering parental abuse similar to Sasha Daygame and Ex-The Natural Lifestyles coach Johnathan Neil Thomsen . It’s also noted in Johnny’s blog that he had a run in with the law when he was 19 . Johnny’s mental health issues seemed more complicated – with OCD taking control over him especially in his most recent Youtube Vlogs.
Johnny often appeared poorly dressed in infield
Face to Face meet up in person
I met both of them in 2018 and- even though it was way before the passing of both I’d have to say Tom was the better spoken of the two and seemed far more present and positive . Johnny seemed mentally insecure and frantic even back in 2018 – often stuttering , complaining that his results weren’t as good as the early 2010s , Johnny also appeared poorly dressed and badly groomed which was ironic for a dating coach you’d expect him to have at least these things in order. I mean you don’t have to meet him in person to see that this guy looked mentally done visibly. I never daygamed with Johnny but two of my wings did receive coaching from him one who actually wingmaned with him noted that Johnny would spam approach often even attracting the attention of security guards in Covent Garden. It seemed after 13 years as a social coach Johnny still had an issue with social self awareness.
Johnny often faced criticism online for his erratic daygame methods.
In Terms of Impact
No doubt Tom’s was greater – he had around 80k YouTube subs before his demise whilst Johnny sat at a around 36k- both suffered from Youtube’s crack down on PUA content with Johnny seeing a notably drop in views which no doubt compounds to a drop in clientele – Johnny had financial issues too which may have been as a result of the diminished viewership. Amongst my wingmen Tom’s podcasts were often listened to and he even spoke at the 21 Convention with a host of books published in addition to this. Johnny never was called up to speak at the elite level men’s conferences as far as a I am aware he had no podcasts though he did have a forum which got some viewership – his most impactful YouTube videos between 2010 and 2017 have since been taken down.
Torero speaking at the 21 Convention in 2010
Different reasons for the suicide – one by mental health the other by the mainstream mediaCrusade
I’d say Danya Hajjaji was most definitely responsible for Tom Torero’s death- the feminist media crusade that exposed Tom resulted in his PayPal being blocked and his YouTube channel deleted – it seemed that his mode of income was ruined as a result of this and with his real name exposed it would be difficult for him to revamp his career doing other jobs- once you’re exposed as a pua coach who voice records sexual interactions your career in the real world is most likely done. It was difficult in his 40s to reinvent himself after this of course it would be for anyone.
As far as I am aware there was no media persecution of Johnny. It seems though the financial issues were getting to him judging by his public YouTube videos of him fearing prison due to tax debt and this coupled with his OCD was taking it’s toll. It’s pretty noticeable from his weight loss and facial expressions in his recent YouTube videos that he had had mental issues- meeting Tom in 2018 and from reports of those who winged with him his mental issues weren’t apparent in his later years although he did seemingly live in isolation in his last year of his life he spent day gaming in France and Switzerland and recording his podcasts- seemingly doing a lot of daygame without any wingmen or male company this sort of isolation could be seen as symptomatic of a depressed individual but maybe I am clutching at straws?
Both were Pro-Self Help but even more so Johnny
Both Tom and Johnny reiterated a work ethic and never give up attitude in their podcasts. Tom expressed the importance of improving options and approaching consistently . Johnny seemingly muttered 13 years of self help content – going through the cliche discussions on his videos of “never give up” or “persistence is everything” attitude .
Tom did attack the self industry as another form of his clients procrastinating from actually approaching and I’d probably agree with that- I see a lot of people capable of approaching women but never do so prioritising other things. Despite both preaching a never give up attitude they did ironically both give up. Showing the importance of not taking self help gurus too seriously as most of them will probably have bigger problems than us and most of them probably don’t even take the advice that they dish out .
Both seemingly didn’t have a backup plan after pua
With many factors destroying the industry that I discuss in this article why the men’s Pua Industry has declined incomes in the PUA space had been going down- I had a wingman who worked for TNL (The Natural Lifestyles0 who noted that the business was slow post covid- a combination of factors- online dating, lower testosterone, rising autism rates, Rise of Red pill esque procrastination , Me Too etc. had crushed the dating industry and the men’s self community . This no doubt must have harmed the sales of both with them being incapable of coaching live for a year or so due to covid. No doubt the loss in revenue must have affected Johnny – with both suffering shadow banning from main stream media reducing their YouTube plays – Johnny’s YouTube channel who’s new videos would only gain around 100 plays each- Not really the quantity needed to garner new clients.
Tom’s loss of his PayPal account , YouTube channel and the vilification from mainstream media clearly took it’s toll. The stark reminder that dating coaching is vulnerable to cancelation/media ridicule at any time- both suffered from YouTube strikes on PUA content – more so Tom than Johnny but even Johnny’s viewership had dropped to very low levels.
Johnny appeared to have lost a lot of weight in his final year of vlogging
Johnny Seemed to be more health conscious than Tom
Johnny seemed to blog regularly about running and hitting the gym and losing weight so much so that he seemed to lose too much weight- he looked very feeble despite hitting the gym consistently and he blogged about eating healthy consistently . Tom on the other didn’t do these things – he continued to drink and rarely if ever blogged about healthy eating or gyming. Despite a lot of healthy habits it wasn’t enough to keep Johnny from succumbing to his OCD and mental health issues. Proof that self help just isn’t enough some times and some people need help in other ways – imagine being in self help for 13 years and still unable to help yourself- a stark reminder of those who chose to get in bed with self help gurus a lot of them most likely have bigger problems than you yourself ever will. I personally had some similar challenges to Johnny with pornography but I never had parental abuse or a prostitution addiction that Johnny had.
Both Struggled to Maintain social circles or LTR
Despite both being dating coaches for over a decade I still found it weird that neither had women or a proper social circle to call onto . Tom endured a divorce in his early 20’s and I believe Johnny garnered his first girlfriend from daygame in his mid 20s which ended in a matter of months but I mean if I had been doing daygame for 13 years even poorly I would have at least some women to call upon in my time of need? Johnny seemingly had no one and Tom too. I find this a massive shame but also an example how even the most prominent of dating coaches may themselves have chaotic dating and social lives. Look at how many coaches in the mainstream have undergone divorces – Neil Strauss, Mystery and James Marshall being three obvious names. Ross Jefferies too recently had a breakup – despite being world renowned coaches all of them are seemingly single without a proper LTR. Women aren’t everything but a good ride or die woman can really help you get out of a rut and some can really open the doors to a better life and social circle for you. The fact that both Tom and Johnny were living in apparent isolation before their deaths- Tom day gaming on his own seemingly for 6 straight months and Johnny vlogging about his gym and OCD alone shows its a shame two seemingly social dating coaches were living in such isolation . Had they had the support of a solid LTR or a social circle then maybe their lives could’ve been saved.
Concluding thoughts:
It’s a shame that two of the most prominent UK dating coaches have both killed themselves – Tom Torero was a huge influence on my life and whilst I don’t like Johnny’s game it’s clear he had a huge impact too with both my wingmen who coached under him getting success . Their suicides show the importance of a strong work ethic but more so always be self aware of your problems and really asses them because if you don’t they can consume you. Maybe they were both in too deep of the pua bandwagon to get out of it and I hope they serve as a warning to those getting involved in dating coaching of the risks attaches of staying in the game too long and procrastinating with the issues at hand. But sometimes self help , mediation, gym isn’t enough sometimes it might be deeper psychiatric help or a more refined lifestyle or diet or preparing better for the worse to happen (i.e having a backup plan if the pua/men’s self development scene goes bust which I believe it has) All in all there are deep lessons that I have learnt from Johnny and Tom’s death and I won’t forget the importance of said lessons in my life. Whether or not you were a fan of either they serve a stark reminder of the dark rabbit whole the self development and men’s dating industry can lead to – not to say you shouldn’t get involved in daygame as I believe it’s one of the most wonderful things a man can do – but to be self aware of your issues at hand and real asses and work on them without them consuming you before it’s too late.
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
Ross Jeffries:
I mean I just don’t really understand him . I don’t get the appeal with a fat childless 65 year old with a belly going out there and doing daygame . It’s hard to tell what his real success is or whether he just wrote a book at the right time before day game’s big “ bull run explosion” I don’t get him using seductive terminology to game girls- like “long and thick” to emphasise describing a cock (something he talked about in a interview with John Antony last year) . I wouldn’t be able to pull this shit off without looking like a complete muppet. Im not sold – and his lack of ltr now at aged 65 somewhat showing . But having said this – he did accumulate like $500,000 from selling daygame books, he has some good economic and political insight in interviews – he strikes me as an intelligent person HOWEVER I just think his content is half assed and not really applicable to low smv individuals personally which is ironically because physically he himself looks like a low smv individual . I just see him as unnecessary and anyone who’s done daygame for a substantial period of time would see through his bullshit- it’s no wonder Alex Ice White is his biggest admirer who himself has done no daygame – had Ice done actual daygame he’d probably see through the bullshit on offer too.
Maybe Ross was a pioneer in the ‘smoke and mirrors” daygame and I put him in the same box as Alex Ice White in that – I have no clue how these people get laid nor do they have any infield to back up their supposed content. It’s hard to see how good these guys are given they are physically frail- often poorly dressed and in Ross’ case are not currently in a relationship. That being said he’s still a 21 convention speaker, has sold a tonne of books and must’ve had some success with women? Even though beyond the marketing photos I really don’t know the proof. The infield in the Louis Theroux documentary looks staged to me so I really can’t come to firm conclusions as to whether this guy is bullshit or not. I know James Marshall talked about how Ross Jefferies is a creep – the only one who endorses Ross nowadays is Alex Ice White who himself has 0 daygame lays- if Alex Ice White had a daygame lay he would most likely be able to realise Ross’ NLP bs in the interviews.
Ross makes an interesting point in his interview with Ice though about how 20 percent or so of his clients in the dating sphere have some form of Asperger’s and where beyond help- having myself had a brother with Asperger’s I understand that it can be borderline impossible to help these people with dating- I know not everyone can succeed and move up the sexual marketplace- most can but not all some have geographical disadvantages , genetic hindrances , neurodevelopment disorders, financial or physical deficiencies that can’t be fixed. (most of these issues can for most people though I believe)
MyVerdict: I mean considering the money he made – a success , he’s still single and childless now so some might see that as a failure . He’s a controversial figure – I can’t quite figure him out myself so I will leave it to you. His interviews have a couple of gems here and there- but his NLP techniques are a lot of world salad which I would personally never incorporate in my game.
Alan Roger Currie
Currie at the 21 Convention
This was simply a sad ending from someone whose information didn’t really resonate with me- but I appreciate the success and impact he had. I had an issue with being super direct like he was and would not really be able recreate the level of “directness” he would seemingly impose like telling a woman instantly i’d want to fuck them I think that sort of strategy is too over the top and can lead to more blowouts rather – having said this him dying on 28th November 2022 aged 59 years was a big disappointment and leaving his 2 year old and wife without a father figure- that’s a big kick in the balls. Despite the “alpha” and encouraging people to be proactive about their problems in life he had a weight problem which he wasn’t proactive enough about seemingly. This sounds harsh but I’m being direct in this instance? When the leaders of this space are telling us to be proactive about things that they themselves are not proactive about it becomes a difficult situation to properly asses . Again similar to Tom Torero and Johnny Berba he had a philosophy of not making excuses and being proactive about solving our problems yet it was his weight problem that Alan seemingly didn’t take the “alpha action for” that eventually proved to be the end of him.
Him choosing to have a kid so late is also problematic – at 57 with a weight problem only to seemingly die from it at 59. For such a leader in the PUA space with over 200 lays his life had seemingly horrible end and could be seen as a negative of the playboy lifestyle and the problems that said lifestyle could potentially induce. If he’d stopped the game earlier on- maybe dealt with his health issues head on maybe he’d still be here now with a loving family. By choosing to have a child so late on in his life his health fucked up and now this kid is without a father. I don’t know how many dating coaches actually have gone on the be good parents with the exemption of maybe Paul Janka . Maybe the sex addiction they have fucks them up mentally so they can not commit to building a nuclear family . It certainly feels that way when I analyse James Marshall’s life- and a lot of dating coaches come from a history of divorce prior to dating becoming dating coaches and seemingly then never want to give marriage or family a go . Such as the examples of Marshall and Torero who seemingly never committed to getting married again after their divorce.
My Verdict: The fact that he died leaving a 2 year old without a father figure is just a tragedy. Yes his book Mode One had an undoubtable global impact but I just can’t view him as a success in my eyes.
Tony Solo From The Natural Lifestyles :
Again another guy that appeared to be strange egg. Whilst I admired his discipline during his time in the natural lifestyles there was something very off about him when he started stripping off naked in natural lifestyles videos coaching videos and ranting excessively then deleting his own YouTube channel (which he is now deleted) . The fact that he’s happily married now is at least a positive… At least someone has come out with a sustainable LTR the same can’t be said for others.
He had good fitness, dress and seemed to connect well with women in the infield that I watched of him. I could see why James hired him as a coach and he had an enormous work ethic on the field.
EX-TNL Coach Tony Solo
My Verdict: A success – I mean he escaped media ridicule – got money from coaching and married to a beautiful girl and is now doing his own thing (which I don’t know what that is ) He had a positive impact on me but I preferred Liam , Alex Leon and James a lot more.
Alex León From The Natural Lifestyles:
I think he’s an impressive individual – all be it he gets a fair chunk of hate on instagram and the skilled seducer forums- and he does market some trash from time to time like saying “money is only 2 percent of attract BRO” (which I don’t believe in as money is fundamentally an important part of attraction) . Despite the marketing bullshit and fake instagram following (he has less than 30 likes on some of his photos despite having 8k followers )
León in 2022
he was a great replacement for Liam McRae in my eyes and someone who clearly has good social circle building skills ( a lot better than mine will ever be ) I gotta laud the guy- he has an attractive girlfriend (at the time of writing this though she’s not my type) , he’s got great social media game although a bit excessive in terms of pictures with girls. Now he’s playing it a bit riskier with YouTube clickbait content like “ watch me rizz up a virgin Arab” I think he’s doing this in a half baked attempt to go viral I just hope it doesn’t end up back firing on him in a way he will end up regret.
He appears genuinely good at social circle game- often having photos with people who have millions of followers , pictured on private jets and has clear social leverage which is impressive. He certainly has built the “lifestyle design” element of PUA well something which coaches like Tom Torero ,Sasha Daygame, Yad and Nick Krauser miss the point of IMO when they coach. He also is a social media expert and imo a great example for how to utilise social media to its full effect
MyVerdict: Definitely the strongest coach when it comes to social media and daygame in the modern dating world. He’s adaptable although sometimes can seem like a copy/ clone of Liam Mcrae (heck they even look the same at times) . All in all though I believe he’s the biggest asset of TNL now.
Ryan Black – Formally of Sasha’s Dating Systems:
Sasha Daygame’s once right hand man now turned dating coach and quasi marketing guru . It’s hard to take his social media posts seriously though. He seemingly has good results though has been accused from other coaches about lying about his results especially from Nick Krauser in his blog here: https://theredarchive.com/blog/Krauser-PUA/i-spoke-at-the-21convention.27023
Potential evidence that Ryan Black had been lying about his results
MyVerdict: I mean he seems rich, has a great body and girlfriend all round seems to have benefited greatly from being a daygame coach – whether he’s 100 percent truthful about his back story seems to be in questionable though – he comes across as a self help sort of gimmicky marketer so I really don’t believe he had a harem of model women all over him back in the early 2010s.
Mindful Masculinity
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