The Complete Instagram and Social Media Guide for Dating and Relationships

Why Good instagram photos are key to men’s seductive success

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Before I digress into the world of photography and how it can influence a man’s life I would like to first of all state that nothing is more important than continuous approaching for a man as he tries to progress in the world of dating. Indeed great photos do matter a lot as I will make points in this blog post about and it’s important as a man that you look after how you present yourself online. But don’t let it serve as a distraction away from the hard craft of approaching and meeting new women. I’ve found that great photos can serve to support good/strong approaches and reduce my flake count.

I’ve been in the “pua community” as an active “daygamer” for around three years now. I’ve seen many faults with my wingmen. Some are overweight, some fail to approach, some have bad posture etc. But a common problem with around 90 percent of my wings was a failure to project their lives on instagram in an attractive and admirable way that will be attractive to top quality women. It’s a common problem and one which many men fail to fix. Either because they feel their “alpha” approach will be enough to attract the girl into their life. A concept which maybe true back in 2006-2010 when day game was starting to gain traction and social media was no where near as important as it is now. Or because they are simply lazy, unwilling to adapt and change things to fit into their favour because they are too inexperienced to see where their weaknesses lie.

In 2017 I watched a video by TNL instructor Liam Mcrae in which he goes through men’s facebook photos and judges them. Why does he do this? Because he knows that poor photos can put a woman off dating him as which happened to him as one of his tinder matches declined to meet up with him in real life because his facebook had so many weird photos of him that he forgot to untag which the woman saw and was consequently put off by. These videos are vital to watch because it shows the sheer amount of shit , invaluable stuff that men post on their social media accounts that will put off women from meeting up with them. These include:

Poor quality photos. The mobile phone era has really proved destructive to men’s instagram pages as men aren’t posting photos of any quality . Mobile cameras may seem convenient but almost all bar maybe the iPhone 11 have bad light quality and portray images in not enough detail.
Too much crap posted on their social media. Get rid of self help quotes, political posts and other crap. Post things of real value of you in a good light.
Photos emphasising one thing too much. Photos in one city, too many topless photos, photos showing off something like a good car, too much of you doing one hobby. You need variety to show that you’re someone who has a sense of adventure and purpose beyond just one thing. So if you have a good body don’t post constant gym selfies, if you live in London don’t have all your pictures in London make sure you have them take in a variety of cities across the globe which shows you’re sense of adventure.
Posting photos with a lack of variety. Similar to my last point re;ally but photos should show a variety of high quality high value friends, other women (this will make the woman aware that you have “options in your life” and are trusted by other females. Photos should have a range of poses too, ranging from very masculine serious looks that can portray your strength and confidence as a man to photos of you smiling that show your feminine side. Too many photos of you smiling and you look quite simply gay which will put off women from more conservative backgrounds who lust for more masculine men. These are more dominantly from peasant societies like Russia, Kazakstan etc. Too many photos of you looking alpha may cause you to have no fun or feminine side which may make put off women especially the incredibly beta ones from China and south east Asia.
Immaturity or feminine photos: too many photos of you drunk, partying, doing stupid shit or seen as a desperate attempt to make you look funny can really put women off . By all means have a funny photo here and there. But too many will put off serious corporate women or women from traditional conservative masculine societies. Photos of you partying maybe good for the 18-21 year old frat party girls but if you close a corporate girl or a career minded girl it may serve as detrimental in leading towards a date. Be very mindful as certain photos may block out certain types of women from your life. Why would you want to do that? Keep your options open have pictures that serve all types of women not just the frat party goers and the beta asians.
Scarcity of photos full stop. Most men have one or two photos on their social media, or just not photos at all. There is therefore no proof to the women that they approach that this man has any life ,friends or family full stop.
Photos with poor quality dress. Aim for at least one professionally taken photo for you in a suit. This will show some serious side and show that you care for your dress sense.

What good photos can do for you as a man in your dating life:

Increasing your tinder matches. I fucking hate online, its shit and degrading as man.But if you want better matches then by all means get better photos. They’ve done experiments with a male 7 with great quality photos v a male 9 with poor quality photos. The male 7 with great photos achieved better matches.
Will create a sense of adventure in the woman’s mind. This is quite simply invaluable seeing as women are far more attracted to life experience than men are (men’s biggest attraction will always be fertility) Its no big surprise that women are attracted to older men and this isn’t based on looks but rather the life experience that older men have been through. They’ve done a lot more interesting shit with their life. Photos can be a way of instantly portraying to a woman the interesting things you’ve done with your life so that you can stand out amongst the 1000s of men who don’t have any high quality photos of themselves doing interesting shit.
Will stop you looking like a rapist or a loner. Women want high quality men in their lives this doesn’t mean you have to be perfect in every-way possible but it does mean you have to portray life in an interesting light that can stop making women think you’re a rapist. One of the biggest concerns women have of dating men on the street is whether or not they’re going to get raped or if the guy is a psycho killer. Having good quality photos is an effortless way to build trusts and reduce your flake count. Ive approached countless women from day-game who’ve said that the photos i had on my Instagram provided them with proof that I wasn’t a serial killer. Even my most memorable lay from day-game was told by her friend not to meet me (for fear that I was a rapist) but she pushed towards meeting and sleeping with me because I had great quality photos. Its a fine margin between success and failure why make something as difficult and challenging as pickup that bit harder by having shit photos?
Can provide lasting benefit, one great shot of you can help you in your dating life for years to come.
Serves as a tool to attract hypergamous girls. Say you approach a lot in universities and you have great photos of you traveling around the world doing interesting things those photos will stand out a lot to a woman’s eye especially if she’s around immature punks as I’m sure she would be if she’s at a university which are often full of guys playing Fifa and doing not much else.
Appeals to different sides of female attraction effortlessly. Photos of you well dress and well organised appeal to one side, photos of you in dangerous places or unique places show good leadership and knowledge. Photos of you in high value areas like 5 star hotels can show a lot of value in resources , photos of you making a speech or doing something artistic on a stage like stand up comedy or music show leadership and creativity. Great photos can really deliver all sorts of different attractive traits of masculinity to the women which on top of a solid approach can serve to maximise your value to her.

Instagram Close V WhatsApp Close which is better?

The answer is “it depends” on the situation nearly all the time. If you’re approaching a high end model girl with 100ks of followers then I’d go for the personal WhatsApp close as your Instagram is unlikely to impress her as she’s “seen it all before” high end women get their dms absolutely flooded with tonnes of men chasing after them so its no point competing in that level .In short to summarise if they have more than 2k followers i’d just go for the WhatsApp close first. If they have a low follower count I’d go for the Instagram close as it will be easy to build value with high quality photos as most likely she’s around immature men with no interesting life experience if she has a low follower count.

If you genuinely desire the WhatsApp over the Instagram then I’d just ask for the WhatsApp (make sure you have a good WhatsApp photo to make a strong impression when you message the girl) If the girl is uneasy to give you her WhatsApp just say you understand and say “let me take your instagram you can see pictures of me and my friends realise I’m not a rapist and then we can go for coffee”

If the woman is a student or seems a bit on the immature side id go for the Instagram Close, showing off your photos to her can be a fantastic way to show value and life experience that her friends will unlikely have. It gives her a concrete reason to date you that you’re offering value that guys her age can’t.

Of course I believe WhatsApp is the more personal way to text someone. But the huge disadvantage of WhatsApp is that its hard to build comfort in the same way an instagram close can. Instagram or facebook you can have the girl see your life and how interesting you are as an individual , it can help build interest etc. in ways WhatsApp can’t. Instagram has the big benefactor that if the lead flakes you can re-engage her by adding high value stories that stimulate her interest. You simply cant do this via Whatsapp, on WhatsApp once the lead is dead its dead….

Always Look to Preserve your Brand:

Your photos are your brand. They are how you advertise yourself as an individual, if they are poor quality people wont be excited by what you have to offer as an individual and will look elsewhere to find mates. Make sure when you travel you’re constantly taking good photographs that can enhance your profile

Steps to go about getting good photographs:

Delete all low quality/immature/creepy photos. Get rid of them this is the way you’re presenting yourself as a man to the world. Get rid of low quality crap, the photo of you holding your thumbs up etc. Have female friends look over and decide which ones they like and don’t like it can help a lot. Take a look at your photos and honestly ask yourself would you date yourself? Get opinions from your male friend’s who have better photos of you. Ideally high quality wingmen who have self awareness of the importance of this side of your dating life.
Ditch the cell phone camera. Yes , just do it. I don’t give a shit what make or model the camera phone is nothing beats a high quality mirrorless camera. Give yourself the best pictures possible
Invest in a high quality camera and decent portrait lens. I personally purchased the Panasonic s1 but there’s a range of camera’s you can buy that can help towards your image. The Sony A6300 is a good starting point. People will spend £1000s on a holiday but won’t invest a penny towards a good camera that can help
Invest in a professional photo shoot. Do it, these pictures can last a lifetime and you want the best chance of you standing out. A lot of men will appear to proud to put money on the line the extra £50-100 to take good photos but will plow £100s into unsuccessful dates with women seems a bit ridiculous. But of course most men in the dating world are naive and illogical .
Travel a lot, take a good camera with you and have good quality photos of yourself taken constantly to make your instagram and social media look like you have a fabulous life. Make sure you travel with people that ideally have a knowledge of photography too to get the very best pictures of your trip. Take lots at different angels, try and perfect the way your portray it seems pretentious and stupid but however obsessed you may seem to be about your appearance just remind yourself that this shit will pay off a lot in the long run. Always keep an eye out for high areas that portray high value. If you stay in a 5 star hotel for one night make sure you take a tonne of photos during your stay so that you can show your value and resources.
Try unique shots in unique places. The more unique the shot the more value it adds. Avoid pictures in cliche places that have already been instagrammed a tonne of times . Try and travel off the beaten path. The most interest I got from girls were from my pictures in unique areas like” Kyrgyzstan , Tajikistan and Uzbekistan (in central Asia) these were places that most men usually don’t go to. This can build a lot of attraction to the women if they see you doing things that people don’t normally do. It can depict courage , discipline and adventure without you having to do it yourself.
Invest in good editing software like adobe Lightroom or take a photo editing course. 70 percent of what makes photos good is good in the editing. Avoid over saturation and over editing of photos it can come across as needy and try hard.
Get high quality photos of you with male and female friends , women don’t want a loner creep and thats one of the first things they’re worried about when they get approached the fact that you maybe a loser with no friends. It’s therefore paramount that you get high quality photos done with your friends and have a few with your female friends to win additional rapport.
take photos of other men who are serious about posing in a masculine way. It helps to have people on the same path as you and in photography its no different.

It’s a competitive dating world out there and men have really far less maturity and common sense to navigate it compared to women. From my life at the age of 16/17 women around me were already taking high quality pictures and investing in model shoots. I had no idea why they were doing it or how come. Till I realised that they themselves were doing it as a portrayal of value to attract the highest quality mates. While men around me were bleakly doing fuck all about their dating lives just jacking off and playing call of duty. Most Puas and men have no real self awareness about how shit their photos are and its a massive shame as they missing out greatly. I mean look at Johnny Berba’s instagram for example a “leading UK dating coach” absolute trash with no real value conveyed. Be self aware of the way you present yourself as a man. It may sound cheesy and corny but it makes a real difference. People ask “but why can’t my approach just create the attraction” in 2020 and in an age of social media and Instagram it’s all about how your portray your life now that’s about it. It seems corny and pretentious but as a man it’s your job to be organised and adapt.

Photos ranked in terms of “value”

Different photos convey your value in different ways and you should be aiming to provide a wide range of photos to convey your brand properly, I’ve arranged them in order of importance :

Photos of accomplishment- These are by far the photos that tend to get the most likes from girls I’ve found , these photos are perhaps the most important in showing your value and showing off your SMV. Photos of you achieving things in life that other men have done can create a lot of interest and build trust . A photo of me signing shares for a company Im a stake holder in got more likes than any other photo women love accomplishment and its important any time you do accomplish anything that you have a photo taken of it.
Photos with family. Women love a man who values his family and your instagram should show pictures of this to some extent.
Travel photos to exotic destinations. Shows your sense of adventure and are very important in terms of building comfort to girls. For example when i stay at 5 star hotels i ensure that my wingman takes pictures of me at that hotel, uploading that picture then shows a lot of interesting traits. That I have enough money to afford staying at a high end venue ( so I’m not some broke ass loser on the street) , that i have a degree of class and that I’m adventurous. It immediately deals with a lot of problems the girl might be questioning about you when you’ve approached her.
Pictures with puppies and kittens. An instant winner and something that girls love , try and get a few high quality pictures with cute animals.
Photos that show a broad range of fashion senses that show your strengths and understanding of good quality fashion.
Baby Pictures- Always try and sneak a few of these in. Photos of you when you were young can be used to build rapport and play to women’s mothering instincts.
Pictures with other girls , again this can build rapport to some degree but too much of this makes you come across as a fuckboy.
Model Shots – one or two of these are fine and should always be done and used as your facebook profile picture and your WhatsApp profile picture. A strong WhatsApp photo is key to making a good impression on girl’s who you’ve number closed. You really don’t want this photo to be a bad or it may give a reason for her to flake on you.
Pics Surfing or Skiing – I upload a few pictures of myself surfing but no more than that, these two types of sports are pretty saturated on Tinder/men’s dating profiles so make sure you don’t over do it.
Sports/Yoga or Gym shots- 1 or 2 of these are ok anymore and it may seem like you’re showing off your body to excess.
Photos of food- other things you do at work etc. These are not so important but may add value if they’re interesting and high quality.

What NOT to Upload:

Poor quality photos, any of these just don’t bother. If the picture doesn’t look nice don’t bother with it . More is not necessarily better , aim for quality over quantity . Delete any poor quality photos off your instagram or facebook now.
Excessive amounts of the same accomplishment or the same thing. For example if you go to the gym a lot excessive photos of you topless or showing off your body may make you look like a one trick pony who’s only goal or asset is the fact that they gym a lot . Too much of anything is a bad thing .
Photos with nothing interesting going on, again think of it from the woman’s perspective do you honestly want to date someone who is doing nothing interesting in their life. A complete lack of interesting photos is highly likely to diminish your value.
Shit selfies, i see this a lot on people’s profiles, why? It looks terrible and makes you look immature don’t bother with it.
Not enough pictures with friends. You need photos with other male friends who are also good looking and well dressed to ensure to women you have a social circle that’s worth getting involved in.
Excessive photos with females, as I’ve said before too much of anything is a bad thing . Too many pictures with females will make you come across like a fuckboy and is likely to ruin the romance of the initial approach that you made. It’s best to keep female photos limited. A small amount to show that other females like you but not too many to make the woman think that you have 1000 other women on the go. They want to feel special and appreciated not one of 1000 other women that you’ve approached that week.
Self help quotes – I see a lot of day gamers do this I personally think it comes across extremely immature and bit weird.

Instagram Stories:

Instagram stories are the number one way to resurrect dead leads you’ve closed from daygame it’s helped me rein-gage maybe girls . You should aim to make your Instagram stories interesting and insightful , some that can easily grab a woman’s attention and should of course be conveying some sort of interesting hobbies or activities that you’re personally doing.

Good things to put on your instagram stories (in no particular order) :

Stories of an interesting event or festival you maybe a part of
Stories of you traveling in exotic interesting places
Stories of you cooking (can be extremely useful if you cook good food and the woman comments you can comment back saying “i need to make this for you sometime)
Stories of you in high end/ high value places.
Stories of you with cute animals like puppies, if you have a cute pet i would personally put him in your stories all the time it can be a wonderful babe magnet to re-hook dead leads into your life.
Stories of your friends doing interesting things. Shows you have a social circle and aren’t a loner freak.
Stories of your family, always great to have some in there to show that you’re a family man. Plays to women’s mothering instincts.

Things you shouldn’t upload stories of

You and girls you date. This is a controversial one but i don’t think its beneficial to other leads to actively show them that you’re dating other women it may ruin chances of getting them out, making the woman feel like second choice or that you’re just a fuckboy. I avoid posting other women at all in my stories unless they’re relatives (and I specifically say they’re relatives in the post, for example if Im with my female cousin I post a picture or story captioned with “hanging with my cousin” .
Anything political or religious , honestly its not worth going into political conflict over instagram and its just going to kill off potential leads . Avoid posting slogans preferring one political party to another it just serves to create conflict or divide between you and girls before anything has even started
Boring stories of you doing boring shit. If you have nothing interesting to post then just don’t post it . It’s that simple, posting consistent boring stories will potential lead to girl’s thinking your life is boring and then offering them no incentive to date you in the long run.
Low value places or drug taking, just photos of you doing shit things like drinking at a pub isn’t interesting to the majority of high value women.

How to use pictures on a date?

Instagram pictures can be used quite easily to build rapport and trust on date without much effort . I always bring out the pics to show the women when Im telling travel stories, describing what I do during work, talking about history (as i have a lot of pictures about the history of certain areas which serve a political undertone) showing my family and friends and what they do. It can be a fantastic way to build trust and build a sense of adventure. Particularly if you have pictures of the places where the girl you’re dating with is from e.g. when I date a Chinese girl I always show pictures of my time in China. Usually however the further a picture is taken away from where the girl is from usually correlates to gleaning more interest. For example a girl from Hong Kong might find a photograph from Norway very interesting however a girl from the UK may find pictures from Norway to be very boring.

Good Camera Set ups for your Travels:

Investing in a good quality camera, lenses etc. is vitally important as you really want to show of your brand as much as possible online. Think about it to the big fortune 500 companies like Apple or Google use half assed technology to show of their brand? No they don’t and neither should you .

Follow some youtubers like art of photography to get a more interesting understanding into lens types and understanding the variations of lenses and models. Join facebook groups about the lenses and cameras you have to give yourself a better understanding about how to get the most out of your camera or do what I did and just take a photography course at Jessops. It takes time to study photography but it’s honestly worth its weight in gold in the long run.

Good value starting point Sony A6300

Sony have the cheapest range of mirrorless cameras and this one certainly is the best value one out there and good for beginners starting out in Photography.

The most advanced and expensive setup I use is the Panasonic S1 and 1.4f Lumix Pro lens , its a pricey set up but has gotten me many invaluable shots that I can continue to use in terms of my brand.

https://www.jessops.com/c/brand-shop/panasonic/lumix-s1

Which I take with the 1.4f Lumix F Pro Sense

It’s been expensive but massively worth it in the long run to have this set up for me during my travels. Its also enabled be to do model shots of girls Im dating and add direct value to their life as well

I usually use the best camera phone out there iPhone 11 as of time of writing this blog post this gives me the opportunity to post high quality instagram stories which can increase my chances of resurrected leads and building intrigue.

Also using a GoPro can help for vlogging and capturing travels from a more adventurous angel.

How to get good photographs?

Travelling is a great way to make yourself look more adventurous on Instagram its one of the easiest and most efficient ways but you need to make sure you’re travelling with people who take photography seriously and can also use your camera well. Some men think taking good photos is seen as “gay” but fuck those guys you need good photos in order to build your brand and image up. Make sure you surround yourself with wingmen who take photography seriously too .
Taking model photo shots, aim to this a couple of times each year. Make sure you do your research as some model photographers can be woeful and rip offs.
Having an easy to use high quality phone camera at hand so you can get strangers to take photos of you easily. Having a camera too complicated to use (like the one I actually suggested) may make it difficult to get good photos on a whim .
Make sure you have a good quality camera at hand for key points in your life like signing a contract, winning an award etc. It looks like you’ve achieved things in your life and builds intrigue.

Other Platforms to Store Photos and Value:

WeChat

Download WeChat which is the social media platform that is extremely popular around China, Hong Kong ,Taiwan Macau and is used all the time by Chinese students studying in the UK. If you’re into Asian women you really want to upload high quality photos on there. We chat is the form of communication in China and its best you use that rather than going for a “whatsapp” or instagram as Instagram/Facebook is not as popular amongst Chinese students as WeChat is . It’s all in all better to use a mode of social media where you can upload photos win rapport and prevent the girl being scared of you or thinking that you’re a rapist. WeChat has similar picture upload functions to Facebook and Instagram and when closing a Chinese girl you can simply ask for their WeChat “QR Code”.

Youtube:

I do a lot of standup comedy performances which I record using a high quality Sony and Canon Cam-recorders store a lot of them online on a youtube channel. This is great for rapport building when I have women back at my place I can playback the stand up videos. This adds value, shows the woman I’m a talented individual who can make people laugh and have confidence enough to go on stage. Sometimes I send the stand up videos to girls before I date them if they’re still nervous about me and need more rapport. Once they’ve seen that my Youtube channels have a few thousand views its likely to build trust. I also run a health blog and store instruction videos on there that also have a few thousand views. Again anything that helps to build rapport is worth doing as it results in less flakes in the long run. Make sure to link your creative Youtube projects in your Instagram bio.

Personal Blogs/Photography Projects:

If you have an interesting blog or photography project its best to upload a link to the URL website in your Instagram bio which can help greatly with your brand

Personal Business:

Again the same thing as personal blogs if you run a business make sure you but that in your Instagram bio as it can help entice more interest. Make sure your Business website is attractive etc.

Whatsapp:

Having a good WhatsApp photo is crucial to make a strong first impression. Please don’t use shit quality selfies it just makes you look like an absolute creep. Same rules of WhatsApp and Facebook stories apply to Instagram stories.

Differentiating between good and bad quality photos:

Didn’t include them of me on here as i don’t feel comfortable sharing my face on a men’s dating guide .. thats just me but heres a few travel photos that help build up rapport and interest. Here’s a guide of how I coached one of my Wingmen into getting better photographs:

For a lot of guys my friend Steven was a very handsome looking guy but was unable to convey his looks in photos properly and it was causing him a lot of problems, note these following two pictures:

Examples of bad and good pictures:

These two pictures have obvious problems and are similar to a lot of the ones I see “Rookie Puas” Posting . For one the camera used (a mobile phone) is unable to give us good detail about Steven’s handsome looks which is a shame, the area in the first pic looks boring and the caption seems a bit immature. The second pic inspire of his great body you can barely see him. Not showing off his plus points to the best of his ability. These pictures make him seem a bit clueless and immature along with showing girls he clearly doesn’t care how he presents himself despite having an immaculate body

After some revisions with his photographs and taking them with a high quality lens we were able to display increased SMV by just having a better quality camera and some organisation and planning over how the photos were taken. These pictures took several attempts but all in all were very much worth the desired outcome of improving his sexual market value

This picture above was taken during our day-game trip to Hong Kong at the Mandarin Oriental Hong Kong, a very high quality classy venue. He’s dressed in a suit displaying self awareness of fashion and the high quality lens brings out his facial features in a way most phone cameras cannot. As a man you have to be aware that the way you present yourself matters a lot to women so you

should do your utmost to present yourself in the best possible limelight and to do that you need a good lifestyle as well as someone who is willing to take good pictures of you.

Next up we have a better quality beach photo similar to the one in Barcelona but you can actually see him this time. It also brings out his body far far better than before which is a huge plus in terms of displaying his physical traits to the best of his ability. It also is taken in Hong Kong which shows he travels, can be used to build rapport on dates with travel minded girls whilst also offering a degree of comfort by showing he’s an adventurous person.

Here above we have a pic from a high end hotel in Guilin South China, this picture is good for a variety of reasons.

It shows that he’s staying at high end places which displays value to women that he’s not broke.
Shows that he’s adventurous going off the beaten trail in the not too popular Chinese cities
Shows off a strong physique but not it too much of an obvious way like a Gym selfie would .

All in all this picture serves to build a lot of comfort in many different ways. These were just a few examples but its clear to see of how pictures can impact your brand and how you put yourself out there to women.

This picture again above is also a high quality photo taken with an immaculate quality lens , its taken at the Harbour Grand Hotel in Hong Kong, shows a huge amount of value and prestige and shows off his body in mature way. A photo like this can build a huge amount of trust.

Pictures don’t necessarily have to be of you they can be of places you’ve been on holiday , historical sites etc. But just make sure they’re taken with a quality lens and can make some sort of emotional impact on the people that are looking at them , here are a few pictures from my trips to Chengdu (City in China) and Macau. These pictures can also be used to hook girls and tell them travel stories on dates. It instantly gives people the impression that you’re proactive in your life which is always good to establish early on.

As you can see from both of these pictures, theres a high quality artistic feel to them which shows that I’m a good photographer and shows I care about the presentation of how things look both attractive traits. Also the fact that I’m travelling “off the beaten trail” can be seen as an attractive asset as it comes across adventurous.

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