Why The Men’s Pua and Dating/Self-Development Scene has Declined so much

Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc.  For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France, San Fransisco or Dubai if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com 

A fair percentage of the major coaches of the past are either dead or retired:

The Death of major dating coaches 

Losing Tom Torero two years ago I think was a pretty huge blow to the dating Manosphere  so to speak. He was definitely the most consistent dating coach out there who was really well and truly dedicated to the cause of daygame. He gamed in over 30 nations, wrote comprehensive pieces and kept the community alive with constant meet-ups and good content both in the form of YouTube and podcasts.  Looking at dating and the seduction community right  now you’d be hard pressed to find a “new Tom Torero”  To find someone as dedicated to the game as Tom will be pretty hard pressed to find in the future and to be honest I don’t think we will ever get one. I understand he made mistakes in the past and did some dishonest things but still his net benefit to the community was huge and his void will be deeply missed. 

Further more the death of Alan Roger Currie was similarly a big blow to the community at large his death also was a big surprise considered he recently had two children and is somewhat an example of the negatives of leaving it too late to have a family. Currie who estimated to have around 120 lays as a result of his mode one direct daygame past away aged 59 due to health complications . Maybe an example that those committed to daygame should settle down a bit quicker now his death leaves another big void in the dating coach scene and for his own family – two children who have to grow up without a father is a sad sight indeed. 

Another 21 convention speaker Andrew the Private man who’s blog here  also passed 

https://theprivateman.wordpress.com/

Had some wonderful dating insights for men and was truly an admirable man who will be missed by all. 

Will there be a new generation of coaches ? Judging by activity the PUA  forums and how little proactive action one witnesses it’s easy to predict probably there won’t be.

The Retirement of Key Dating Coaches 

Liam McRae was arguably one of my favourite coaches on The Natural Lifestyles and  gave some genuinely good advice . He may not be liked by other favourite coaches of mine like Nick Krauser but he still had a lot of valuable insights.  His books are listed here: 

Im not under any commission and I don’t think any of them are longer available along with his Youtube content which has now been deleted. But if you search for him in podcasts you should be able to find a few key interviews of his particularly his 21 convention one. Recommend you give him a listen here:

Tony Solo was another TNL coach that seemingly disappeared into thin air. Along with James Marshall’s once PsychKick Sasha daygame. Albeit they were never the most appealing coaches to me personally they still had a decent sized following especially Sasha who in my opinion seemingly went on too much of a “spiritual woo woo “  path. 

RSD is obviously another one that burned out too fast. From my perspective the business grew too quickly and they got too greedy hiring too many coaches at once which eventually exposed their coaching programs as flawed.  If you hire too much at once it obviously has ramifications on how it impacts your business for me personally RSD was one example of a business that suffered from excessive growth and fame and as a result they paid the price for it after providing what seemed to be a lot of substandard bootcamps but their free content was still pretty decent. 

Yad another famous coach who went in retirement last year achieved critical acclaim and cashed on his success by being a coach. The fact that some fat slob could achieve so much in the dating realm by being so little was certainly inspiring. However according to my friends who winged and lived with him he rarely bought back above a 6 to his house still a remarkable achievement for someone so fat and a loss to the daygame community nonetheless… 

The Risk Attached with being a dating coach now is too high to make it worthwhile 

Dating coaches obviously have a high early retirement rate. Few last the block either they get burnt out from their own career and turn to spirituality akin to Sasha Daygame or they just want to do something else because they want to build their identity completely on something different akin to Liam McRae. They also face the risk of being vilified by mainstream media. Look at Tom Torero’s death after being pursued by journalist Danya Hajjaji they froze his bank accounts and took all his income away from him. Paypal being partly responsible as well as they suspended his respective incomes from there . Now Tom Torero was a flawed individual by all accounts, him recording audio taking a woman’s virginity was a dumb fucking move considering the way pick-up artists are treated in the MSM but he didn’t deserve to have his bank accounts and income payments frozen as a result . Im sure this incident will most likely put off future coaches from putting themselves out there and further disincentivizing the publishing of PUA content.  I mean why even publish anything for free only to have your career wrecked and your name in lights? 

Another example of this is in the London Daygame group “game global” which got ridiculed by MSM too https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9729855/British-childrens-author-Game-Global-social-network-pick-artists.html  again if you’re the forefront of these things you always risk ridicule as a result. The risks attached usually far outweigh the benefits involved.  Im not a game global fan but I don’t think they should be ridiculed in this way at all when there’s no direct proof that any of it’s founders did anything wrong. 

Don’t dating coaches also get burnt out too?I can imagine that was a contributing factor to some coaches like Liam McRae, Tony Solo, the Simple Pickup Group retiring dating coaching isn’t a long term job for the majority of coaches. Long term they most likely quit due to the intensity of the job , MSM pressure or some other reasonings along those lines.  The good ones of 5-10 years ago most didn’t last till this day. I mean other than Nick Krausser maybe Mystery, James Marshall  and Zan Perrion none of them have pretty much survived to this day . I admire dating coaches that have survived this long – It certainly takes a lot of mental work and anguish to keep up with the work load of having to deal with a lot of clients with different issues plus the pressure from MSM and angry anti- PUA trolls .

The Dishonesty behind PUA 

It’s hard to keep businesses afloat when they’re dishonest right? PUA has been full of this from selling overpriced products to coaches who just out and out lie. 

Liars include some of my favourites like Tom Torero who payed for a kiss close or John Antony lifestyles who appears to be taking some photos with prostitutes  as his “ infield proof”  the tales of dishonesty don’t stop there. 

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Simplepickup were my favourite coaches of the early 2010s I really admired them as pioneers for what they did now ? After Jesse made a course called “Endless Options”  something weird came about with him allegedly hiring a good looking poker player to message his own girlfriend on tinder and used screenshots of that thereafter claiming that this good pro poker was a fat man who’d managed to successfully seduce a good looking woman off tinder. I really hated Jesse for what he done and it seemed out of character considering he was one of the people who really inspired me to get into game to begin with.  Now he was preaching dating apps and selling courses on how to get fat people laid on tinder. When anyone with relative online dating or day gaming experience would know that a high value woman just simply won’t date a fat guy off an app when they have literally 1000s of better options available  . Why market an app like that if you weren’t just a scumbag looking to take advantage of men’s desperate position in the sexual market place. Then again maybe Jesse was just a scumbag after all who men like myself gave the benefit of the doubt due to what he’d accomplished in PUA . Maybe I was wrong to idolise all these dating coaches who seemed to have aspirations for profit and marketing first and foremost and honesty second. After all isn’t just most marketing just legalised lying? 

The fall out of Simple Pickup hurt me a fair bit – the forums they had were one of my first experiences of Daygame so for that to have ended was a massive shame their content really was the main inspiration for me to do my first approaches and to ultimately lose my virginity. Maybe they weren’t as amazing as I thought but rather opportunists who took advantage of the YouTube’s rampant growth at the right time and place. Would what they do be replicable nowadays? I highly doubt it given the nature of YouTube today they’d have probably been banned way earlier if they were around today.  Kong repeated this course selling formula and made even more revenue with his new YouTube course being sold called Jump Cut and followed many of the other “self help” entrepreneurs of our time with more and more course selling . Subsequently Kong seemed to just out and out steal Jesse’s girlfriend which is a shame to find out about but it is what it is. I guess is there a lesson to be learnt from here is not to idolise PUAs or leaders in their industry because like you or I they are most likely very flawed individuals.  Of course you analyse any “ pua” under the microscope you’re likely to find a weakness or a flaw in something they all  do maybe I’m being over judgemental and jealous here who knows?  

Did Online Dating Kill the PUA Community? 

The thing about online dating is no matter if you did or didn’t benefit it really only benefits the top 10 percent of men and fucks over the rest . As someone not in the top 10 percent of men it really didn’t enhance my life in London at all although I did have success using it in Myanmar and Brazil but this was most likely due to the extreme lack of competition in these countries in comparison to my home city of London.  

Even the men that get a load of lays from online may be left unfulfilled as their options are still at the mercy of an algorithm rather than free choice. But where did it leave the PUA community? It meant even the most average/ ugliest of women now had men fully disposable on tap. It  meant that the average man had to do more to garner dates than the average woman. It created an ever lasting inequality in the sexual market place who’s ramifications we are yet to see. 

But what about the men’s dating and self-development community? Due to  a lot of high quality men effectively getting all the sex they needed from apps they no longer had the desperation or need for Daygame. This stopped the high quality men from resorting to daygame and left the low quality including myself left to turn to daygame. Imagine all the potential friendships formed between wingmen that were distinguished because a percentage of high quality men felt sexually satisfied due to the apps. It’s a shame and left the Daygame community with lower quality men than the previous decade of dating and left the ones in the community with a larger workload as they had to now approach women the bulk of whom are now sexually satisfied thanks to apps like Bumble, Tinder and Hinge. With every technological advancement there are winners and losers. Even the men who’ve won thanks to online probably will lose in the potential wingmanship/friendship and the skills they’d learnt if they’d daygame . Alas daygame searches on google seemed to have topped out in 2012 roughly 2-3 years after online dating apps were becoming mainstream. I have reason to believe online dating did contribute daygame’s decline. The lust for knowledge, to learn , to garner some form of community is sadly gone from this generation and further leaves men in isolation . 

Death of Forums and Communities: 

As mentioned before most my favourite website like the UK Pua forums seem  to have less posters on there . I’ve tried to continue to be a contributor to inspire a next generation of people to hit the streets. I’ll Never be a YouTuber or a  coach but this blog is the way I best seek to help people still in the community without having to “expose myself” or to risk getting my career and life fucked up by the MSM. 

Reddit Seduction , Actualised , SoSauve Forums and Kill your inner loser  remains but I still think we are operating on lower levels of popularity than before.  The London sarge groups are pretty much dead and a shadow of what they were in the early 2010s . Replaced by not much else.. maybe game global dead telegram groups and the odd Facebook community both of which really serve as a funnel for marketers to sell their products to the remainder of people on there. 

Overstimulation of Men Due to Addictions 

At university the biggest contributing factor to the delay of the loss of my viriginity was my porn addiction. That and my social media really stopped me from taking advantage of the rare occasions that women were Into me . They just decimated my brain and  testosterone levels and im pretty certain the next generation of pickup artists are pretty fucked with even more stimulation and  addictive social media than I had to deal with. This serves to fucking decimate mens SMV and induce laziness and complacency.  Men have to deal with more addictions than women on average, with drug, alcohol, gaming, gambling, all being more prevalent in men than women by comparison.  

Lowered Testosterone of Men 

Men’s declining testosterone levels are undeniable at this point in time: 

https://www.medichecks.com/blogs/testosterone/why-do-gen-z-and-millennial-men-have-lower-testosterone  on average men’s testosterone declines one percent a year this surely will take its toll on men over time and most likely will decrease the lust for sex and to attract women. Most likely resulting in more laziness and less work ethic which isn’t good for the PUA and self development community. 

Rising Men’s suicide – Diminished Incomes ruining men’s confidence 

Men’s suicide is rising considerably faster in comparison to women’s I see this most likely just going up as men’s incomes are also diminishing in the west and globally in general as more of men’s jobs in comparison to women’s are being taken away by ai and automation . Also post divorce men’s high suicide rate harms their chances in going back in the dating market along with other factors that destroy men’s smv like the loss of money post divorce, having children which puts off potential future partners should the original partner they had children with leave them, diminishing testosterone , inflation cutting men’s purchasing power and diminished career opportunities. 

Undercover Documentaries Destroying people’s incentives to do PUA or daygame. 

That BBC documentary , the Anti Game Global publication on the Daily Mail all these articles are doing deincentivize further day gamers and  create anxiety and apprehension among the community. Any daygame coach is just  one article away from a false rape accusation. Some day gamers don’t recover from the mental burden of such accusations such as Tom Torero who committed suicide shortly after the Danya Haajjaji article was posted about him which subsequently resulted in visa and PayPal cutting his payments destroying his most important mode of income. Some debate that Torero should have just pivoted and accepted Bitcoin payments but Im not sure if he was ever a big crypto guy- it seemed losing his income, his YouTube channel and the loss of clients due to covid took its toll on him. Maybe other men wanting to be dating coaches will see his decline and subqeuntly be put off from taking the same career path . With the risks increasing and the financial gain decrease I believe dating coaching will slowly be declining  or moving more “Underground” with a select few surviving the culling and media attention. I mean what good ones are there left? Alex Leon, James Marshall , Nick Krausser maybe… who else? 

Were  dating coaches all just opportunists ? 

Analysing some dating coaches in the past maybe they’ve been fully called out on their dishonesty or maybe their marketing made up for their flaws that are now more apparent now? Let’s take into account Yad for example here’s a fat coach who was marketed as some big mainstream playboy. The reality is the majority of women really don’t want to date a fat person and he may have inspired low smv individuals to be deluded enough to think they could garner hot women. The reality was with my friends of friends who roomed with Yad he rarely dated above a 6 . The reality is daygame will only ever really help you get 1-2 points above your SMV – not much more than that. You can’t hide or polish a turd really reality will hit home and the dating coaches that pitched you said ideas will just diminish.  Heck I digress maybe the decline of dating coaches can be seen as an example as to how unsustainable  a lot of their methods were. Is Yad relevant in today’s era of quick paced instagram / tinder and hinge. Are women who are being dmed by men across the world , flown out and seduced left right and centre ready for a fatass pua to approach them? 

Anyway these were my thoughts . Maybe im just being a negative little bitch? Who knows but I’ve defiantly seen a big downturn in pua in the last few years alone. Whether we will grow in popularity again I severely doubt due to the sigma with dating in the modern day world. This could be seen as me spreading negativity but I like to analyse things with a senes of realism rather than being deluded or overly optimistic.