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  • Nick Krauser “Ball’s Deep” (2019) Book   Review 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London so for those who want to network in the future please email: jeremysergent361@gmail.com thanks

    Article Written by – Jeremy Sergent

    Whether you love or hate him Nick Krauser’s influence on the PUA scene has been undoubtedly huge, one of the London daygame model originals along with the likes of Tom Torero and Yad and a prominent  hard working disciplined PUA enthusiast there are few individuals who have shown more work ethic and dedication to the craft than that of Krauser who overcame his divorce at aged 35 to enter the PUA sphere, following the end of his 8 year marriage.  This in itself is impressive for him to pick himself up and dedicate himself – entering the craft quite late relative to others in the space the likes of Tom Torero , James Marshall, Sasha Dayame  and Liam Mcrae to name a few who started in their 20s. But being an average looking guy in his mid thirties and starting relatively late just again proves that age isn’t really an issue for those looking to enter daygame. Far too often on PUA forums you see the excuse being “ im too old to start”  “ I’m too old to do this , that etc. “women wouldn’t like me” but in this book at age 35 Nick Successfully courts a 17 year old and a 22 year old early on – proving without a doubt that age is just a number and that  “Old men” can do well and flourish despite the stereotypes that can potentially surround them . 

    The range of experiences in this book from  Libyans, Thais, French , Lithuanians , Romanians ,Japanese , Nigerians, black  British vixens  and Uzbek shows Krauser’s adaptability- he’s proven his daygame is capable of getting any sort of race of woman that he desires , even taking a Libyan woman’s anal virginity at one stage . In essence this success proves that “race of a woman” is just a limiting belief and that truly anything is possible in daygame with the right attitude and persistence. 

    What I liked about this book was that he includes the near misses, the blow outs – the defeats as well the victories. Often times pua biographies  can turn into circle jerking and lead to people having unrealistic expectations of what it entails. This often causes people who follow said gurus being burnt out quickly and being left easily frustrated.  Being realistic and honest are Krauser’s two most attractive traits as a coach imo. He doesn’t shit talk , or blag about a system that works 100 percent of time or post hooker lays like John Anthony or pretends to be good without having 0  daygame experience like Alex Ice White does. Instead he is conveys his shit dates with honesty as well as his wings. If only the community were more like him and not a bunch of circle jerks with shitty marketing . 

    This is not just a book of a mid aged ban bragging about his successes there are definitely layers to everything he does which I think its appropriate to those starting out to get a realistic vision of what pua is like rather than diving head first into gloating about lays. In fact the first several chapters of this book are just about blow outs and crap dates- and for me this exactly how my daygame journey started out – a lot of crap dates and a lot of blow out with not much to show for it. But the progression is there from someone too socially anxious to approach on the street to getting dates with attractive women is still progress nonetheless (a lot of people would disagree but f’ck em) 

    Then again the beginners hell is mentally tough for anyone starting out and I think Nick does a good job of portraying the difficulties he and many others can face during the start- bad dates, nervous escalation , shitty wingmen, approach anxiety, unreceptive women can all be issues for those starting out. Nevertheless Nick goes through and gains his first girlfriend rotation of a 22 year old Thai woman successfully , he also manages to garner a  same day lay in a toilet, has a Russian Uzbek Model successfully lust for him as well as near misses with similar high end girls. There are a range of situations here and Nick develops and tells the stories well in a realistic and observant manner. 

    There are occasional political rants by Nick during this book – whether you’ll enjoy these really is subjective – one could argue they lean the subject away from dating and approaching . His personal political concerns are echoed throughout the book – if you lean on the right you’ll enjoy them – If you lean on the left you could get annoyed by his consistent political ramblings – but there is even an instance in the book where they appear to help him when he utters right wing rants to a Turkish woman and this helps him build big rapport with her (even as someone who leans on the right I’d never do this on a date so early on but kudos to it working out for him) 

    Before PUA Nick was not much of a ladies man with 3 lays at university before marrying a Japanese woman – hardly not disastrous compared to the national average outside of PUA  – better than what I did at uni ( 1 lay only with no LTR, girlfriend or marriage to show for it) He’s a high SMVed individual-  intelligent enough to garner a 6 figure salary,  a model uni student,  well traveled individual having spent a few years in Okinawa Japan, fluent in Japanese, English and Newcastlish  and a amateur boxer – he certainly has talents, interests and has decent history/politics knowledge he’s no stunner but he makes up for it in other ways- one thing I would reiterate to those starting out you need some  smv- some interests , some hobbies and something about yourself that’s good- you don’t have to be king of the world but you gotta have something going for you to hook people .   He certainly comes into this with less success than that of a James Marshall or a Paul Janka – but probably is a more well versed individual that the majority Ive met during my time doing daygame.  He’s also a distinctly relatable character – as someone growing up in England he seems like the average Joe bloke which I think makes him a good coach to look up to. He’s not a handsome James Marshall/Liam Mcrae or Paul Janka but he’s no fad ass Yad either. 

    Indeed other famous couches do make an appearance here most notably Yad who’s well praised for his good vibe despite being a fat ass – he credits Yad to helping him aid through his issues of divorce as well as another pro coach whom he took advice for regarding his “inner game” some of the conclusions aren’t quite clear but are interesting none the less. The mental battle of dealing with divorce is a difficult one – indeed men have much higher suicide rates post divorce than that of women – so the damage it can do to ones moral is not to be taken lightly- in 2019 in Tom Torero’s last London meet-up I met several day gamers who were recovering from divorces- despite their high smv and interesting lifestyles they certainly looked beaten and I applaud them for fending off their egos and diving into the world of pickup to help fight it off- to bounce back from a relationship or marriage is mentally arduous and a lot of men never recover from the mental/financial blow of a divorce – break ups can be physically gruelling too and not all men have that ability to get out of the rut that ensues – Nick references his divorce throughout the book stating it can take up to three years for a man to recover from one which i most definitely agree with. Getting through failures takes a lot of time energy and persistence and its fine for it to do so as long as you’re working hard and putting yourself back out there.

    There are interesting events in this book in regards to pua trips abroad including -a trip to Lithuania and Croatia- Nick notes the cultural differences as well as the huge improvement in quality that he was able to see in Eastern  Europe- sorta the cliche London day gamers path to have success in the UK then go Eastern  Europe where the women are hotter and your smv is instantly deemed more impressive just by being foreign. He enjoys successes here – he also successfully gets a hot woman to cheat on his boyfriend which morally I wouldn’t agree with but each to his own.  He describes the plight of women in Eastern Europe which aside from their looks and charisma can be very tough .

    Nick describes emotions well – he goes into his issues quite deeply in a vulnerable way which I think offers good guidance to those looking to make a change in their life and date better women through daygame. He also highlights how competitive London is which I agree- despite daygame successes here I nearly always had a better approach to lay ratio abroad in other countries  – feeling like I was being treated better whenever I’ve  gamed abroad- indeed his results in Lithuania were impressive but still even in the tough environment of London Nick fucks an ex multimillionaires’ girlfriend in an Uzbek model which is very impressive given the competitive atmosphere of London. 

    All in all Balls deep is an intriguing autobiography of Krauser’s beginnings, I think this book is good for beginners, intermediates as well as advanced individuals. The book has an element of balance which other pua books lack , the beginner struggle is definitely the most important part in my opinion way too many new people give up too quickly once the first dozen or so blow outs come in they get to disheartened and quit before they can build up enough positive reference experiences and realise that daygame is most definitely worth the time and perseverance . Krauser does a good job of processing emotions even during the daygame highs by documenting in depth about the slumps , the bad blow outs and the shit dates is even more important than the lays because the majority of pickup is the former – any coach that’s pitching a different idea is just pitching you something that isn’t the truth . 

    If there’s one thing to be gleaned from Krauser is that he has a lot of self determination something which I really don’t see when people begin pickup.  I’ve never personally dealt with the mental burden of a divorce but seeing the damage it did to my brother and others in the pua community who are starting out I can imagine it being a way tougher mental hurdle to deal with than I’ve ever had to. To also start in his mid 30’s at an age in which many have calcified is also equally as impressive – I know many who use their age as a reason not to approach which I always found odd as the older I got the easier sets were to hook due to my increased life experience . It was actually in my early 20s where I really struggled to create entertaining conversation and found that a lot of women simply didn’t respect me due to my lack of maturity and lack of life experiences which I think is vitally important to being good at pickup , hooking sets and being a dynamic and interesting person overall. 

    Conclusions

    Overall if you’re starting out and need motivation this is genuinely a good book to read. I’d put this up there with my third favourite pickup book of all time behind James Marshall’s A Natural history and Liam Mcrae’s Rapid Escalation -Krauser is a good intelligent story teller and a teacher whom I think can motivate many to improve their dating life I think Ball’s Deep is good evidence of his honesty and integrity as well as his ability as a seduction coach 

    Buy Balls Deep here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Balls-Deep-Jilted-Lover-Killer/dp/1916479413/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1I87GQ1FYHI7B&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.oLufrufOtGzIt_k6xpHO9pEzDpIH-K_LN99CZSsPmuVuRJX74NY_9w_5BE8IbyLM.GROl-fgFNT5e5_W7SGVl6N_sp0v_jDJByC6rpx1L7Bc&dib_tag=se&keywords=nick+krauser+ball%27s+deep&qid=1756627412&sprefix=nick+krauser+ball%27s+deep%2Caps%2C100&sr=8-1

    For Coaching Info from Nick Krauser visit : https://krauserpua.com/

    Overall Score 9/10  

  • Areas to Date and do Daygame – Osaka and Nara -Japan 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London so for those who want to network in the future please email: jeremysergent361@gmail.com thanks

    Article Written by – Jeremy Sergent

    Spent some time in Osaka and Nara recently so deciding to blog about my favourite dating locations in these areas:

    Apps  to download before your trip to Japan: 

    Hotel apps- Agoda,booking.com , Trip.com – from my experience as with China different cities offer the best deals on different apps. So it’s best to check each individual app for the best deals before booking. 

    Line Messaging app – This is one of the most popular apps in Asia- make sure you have good pictures on there when using the app (I think this goes with really any social media or messaging app you use make sure you have good pics on said apps to build rapport and increase comfort) 

    Ktalk– Due to the huge population of Koreans working in Osaka there’s a high probability you’re going to approach them so come prepared for closing them on Ktalk – the most popular messaging app for Korea – one perk of this app is that it allows for a “infinite “ amount of profile pictures meaning you can over 10 pictures on your app page. This enables you to build rapport in a similar way of instagram allowing you to flexibly chose a variety of pics instead of just one like with WhatsApp . 

    Instagram– Still the most popular social media  app in Japan and recommended for most daygame closes. 

    WeChat– Again, due to the sheer volume of Chinese, Hong Kongers and Taiwanese  tourists and students that live in Osaka is advised to download WeChat as this is the easiest app to use to stay in contact with them . 

    Pros to Daygame in Japan: 

    • Yen Depreciation – If you’re a Westerner earning £ or $ then Japan has gotten a lot cheaper to live in than prior times- this makes hotel bookings and food is far better value than in comparison to previous years. 
    • Low competition- as with China the smv and confidence levels of Japanese men are pale in comparison to the Western men- being a Westerner can help give you the edge. 
    • Great footfall compared to most western cities- its cheap to get a hotel room in high footfall areas relative to western cities like London or Paris- that way you can get “straight into the mix” after settling down in your hotel room. 
    • Good mix of Asians if you like Asian women – theres not just Japanese but big Chinese and Korean communities here as well as Hong Kongers and Thai. 
    • Dating is far cheaper here than in the west- food is cheaper, alcohol is cheaper , heck the basic price of a latte now in London is £3.70 by comparison in Japan it’s £2.65 
    • Great transport system makes it cheap and easy to cover large territory – Even if your hotel is in a isolated location its easy to hope on the train and within a stop or two you will most likely be in a city with good footfall.
    • High English speaking population relative to other Asian nations – I use the term relative loosely as still you may come across language issues but still less than the majority of Chinese cities for example. 
    • Easy to stay healthy- meat and seafood here is much cheaper than in the western nations like UK ,Paris and US – its also usually better quality  relative to other Asian nations- for example the meat quality in China is highly questionable
    • Infrastructure is just better than the major western cities – transport, the malls are more modern , the coffee shops are in better condition all in all Japan just kicks the west’s ass in terms of infrastructure in major cities. 
    Raw Egg and Fruit Smoothie in Osaka Mall- just £3 , perfect for those with a strict diet like myself.

    Cons to daygame in Japan

    • Outside of Tokyo theres a low expat community in general – if you’re not into Asian women you will find a low quantity of options and in that case it’s best to daygame elsewhere. 
    • People can be really shy- not always but some women may find it difficult to open up to you relative to western women – this means you need to be a bit more patient and spend time during the set to build rapport. 
    • A lot of people still wear masks which makes it hard to see their faces properly- probably more so than any country I know. 

    Logistics 

    It’s pretty easy to find a decent hotel during the off season for £250 a week – this is a bit more than a second tier city in China but roughly the same as the top tier cities like Guangzhou , Beijing, Shanghai and Shenzhen.  

    Recommended Stays: 

    Toho Hotel- roughly 20 minutes  walk away from the main tourist sites of Osaka.  Decent sized rooms at an affordable price. 

    Popway Residence Tennoji – Roughly a 25-30 minute walk from the main tourist sites of Osaka , rooms come with its  own kitchen if you wanna cook own meals this is the ideal cheap apartment hotel. ( I say cheap relative to London and major western city prices) 

    Dating/ Daygame  Locations: 

    There are 100s of coffee shops in Osaka which are easy to find – most train stations  and malls have a selection of coffee shops and wine bars so it should be easy to find good places regardless of what guides dating guides you read.  Also every mall I list here is usually attached to other malls which offer a huge range of options both for approaching people and for taking women on dates- it’s very hard to run out of things to do when you date in Osaka there’s literally an infinite amount of options.

    Grand Front Mall Osaka – Located in Umeada 

    This is a huge mall located right with a 5 minute  to another two huge malls – perfect for dates and daygame this place is so packed with restaurants and bars it is impossible to run out of people to approach or places to take your women. 

    Namba Parks- Located in Namba (Surprise Surprise) 

    Another beautiful mall that alone is great to walk through – you will once again find no shortage of footfall after work hours and on weekends. 

    Hep Five Mall Umeda- 

    A mall which is attractive to uni students and has fantastic foot flow – definitely appeals more to the women than the men however which is what you want nonetheless as a “daygame location”  The mall contains a built in ferris wheel as well as a tonne of coffee shops on the top floor – definitely worth checking out. 

    Data Locations

    There are literally hundreds in Osaka- you should have no trouble finding them for yourself but ill list a couple here :

    Wine Bar in Ofukacho , Osaka Inside the Grand Front Mall

    Kannonya -Grand Front Mall Osaka Branch :1

    Good coffee place with a lot of seating and next to several bars on other floors of the mall- bouncing and location hoping has never been easier than in the Grand Front Mall.

    Cheap Coffee with a View in Osaka

    Nara

    Popular for it’s deer but with a huge concentration of tourists pretty much there for feeding crackers to the deer themselves – hotels can quite pricey here but if booked in advanced i managed to get mine for £200 a week at the Mini Nara Inn which is logistically in the heart of all the tourist activities- there is a huge footfall the moment you leave the door of your hotel and finding date locations is a piece of piss seeing as they’re all located near the deer spots where the bulk of the tourists are – https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e4103.html

    Date Locations in Nara

    Again there’s so many decent spots located adjacent to most of the major hotels so you should have no trouble finding a date locations but there are a few i like this spot yes its a restaurant and i rarely recommend them but its phenomenal and they serve alcohol – Zagin chicken & noodle restaurant nara :

    https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g298198-d26728139-Reviews-Chicken_soba_Zagin_Kintetsu_Nara-Nara_Nara_Prefecture_Kinki.html

    Rokumei Coffee Co. Nara

    Bog standard speciality coffee shop just like 100s of others in Japan

    Chami

    My favourite coffee Shop in all of Nara

    Chami- Nara
    All this for £8 at Zagin Chicken and Noodle Restaurant in Nara

  • Did Daygame Really “Kill” Tom Torero and Johnny Berba 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Recent discussion video between Pat and Paul Janka came up on my feed-  this blog post is not meant to be actively “having a go” at them its just to discuss the topic surrounding the deaths between the two .  I have utmost respect for both of them and wanna give my stance. 

    I think people are quick to judge the life of pickup artists without actually discussing people’s lives prior to pickup . Both Johnny and Torero had mental health issues which they were honest about prior to getting into pickup and I believe this often forgotten about when people are analysing the reasons behind their suicide. 

    Mental health problems leave men behind in the sexual market place requiring PUA in the first place 

    Both Johnny and Torero documented their mental health issues , with Torero suffering from anxiety and depression at university and Johnny suffering from an abusive household along with being severely bullied , Johnny often discussed his learning difficulties which makes his career as a postman turned life coach unsurprising..

    The Neurodivergence issues which Johnny had made his life seemed a lot more fucked up than Tom’s in hindsight , with him being honest about learning disorders and other mental health issues. In 2017 he seemingly was hospitalised for having a mental breakdown too and then still continued on coaching in 2018 and producing content .  Tom had less issues , he was an oxbridge grad turned teacher so career and education wise he seemed to be more on the straight and narrow than Johnny.

    I mean this is an obvious problem in my life too  – as someone who suffered a lot of social isolation at high school I could definitely relate. When I was young I was a computer nerd who did little other than playing video games , this obviously made me less desirable to women and made me lose out competition wise against other more competent males .   Men can fall behind in the sexual market place if they have bad habits and neurodivergence, addictions to porn/video games, depression and anxiety can all wreck havoc on a man’s smv .  In Johnny’s case he’d been honest about these problems + porn and prostitution makes it a tough battle to move forward in the sexual market place . Compare these guys’ problems to coaches like Paul Janka who are Harvard graduates and handsome model looking – it’s difficult to make the case that these inferior guys have a decent chance of making it out of pickup without a load of appraoches and even then when they have women its difficult to keep them around due to these mental issues. In Tom’s case he was actively against LTR’s and spoke out against them on numerous occasions- he’d also been divorced prior to getting involved in pickup so this could be seen as a reason for him not wanting a life outside of pickup and “moving on ” to another stage in his life.

    Didn’t have anything other than game ?

    I disagree , “you’re not in alignment with who you are “ by Sasha – its just word salad, In a tom torero meet-up in 2018 I met a lot of accomplished guys who had decent work and life but for them they just weren’t approaching or meeting enough people in their day to day . Having a purpose definitely helps but the majority of men are single in the west I believe due to lack of volume and work ethic in daygame rather than lack of purpose or aspirations in my opinion . Tom Torero for example was oxbridge educated , traveled a lot and led a very interesting life far more interesting than mine I’d add and much more accomplished education wise. Berba was less so but still he seemed well read and was passionate about fitness , with his anxiety, learning difficulties  and ocd it would’ve been hard for him to develop into anything much better than what he was. 

    Roosh V’s as an example I think he personally looked better and was healthier when he was doing pickup and I blame his mental collapse on the death of his sister rather than anything else. Indeed Roosh V’s impact was huge- his forum is still very popular today and I respect him for what he’s done during pickup more so than the religious quack he is now. I’d argue he’s less aligned with a purpose now leaving game than he was when doing game . 

    The Irony of Life coaches that cannot take control of their own lives 

    This is very common and something that I’ve blogged about before on numerous occasions – the fact that Johnny Berba was hospitalised in 2017 for mental health issues and still went about charging for life coaching is somewhat ironic. But you see it all the time in the self help industry as well as the pua industry-  people who are obviously not ok charging for advice from other people about how to heal their anxiety when it seems that Johnny himself could not control his own. The hypocrisy of self help and men’s development – 

    Johnathan Neil Thomson  from The natural lifestyles-  had frequent mental breakdowns in parts of James Marshall’s biography then became a coach for him despite obviously being a bit of nutcase. Eventually he himself betrayed James and ended his friendship with him.

    Tom Torero would tell everyone in his podcasts to “man up” then eventually killed himself after the Danya Hajjaji article pushed him over the edge and destroyed his income. Maybe if he had better control of his mental health and had he seeked some help he’d still be here today. 

    In Jonathan o’halloran’s (Johnny Berba’s real name) case the irony of a postman turned life coach who approaches women whilst having obvious cognitive issues and dyspraxia is also lost upon some of the newer members of the pua community. It was clear meeting Johnny in 2018 that all was not well due to his poor dress sense , scruffy look, spam approaching style and unkept beard that i believed even after a few minutes that this guy was not well. I found out 7 years later that he had been hospitalised the year prior for mental health issues so that comes to no surprise finding out about it now . Yet I still had wingmen that hired him for coaching and it was clear a lot of men saw him as relatable – maybe it was his anxiety problem, his past history with porn and prostitute addiction that many in the community have that made him a relatable figure-  sometimes the sheer deficiencies of dating coaches make them a more attractive individual to hire for coaching  than say a James Marshall , a Paul Janka or a James Tusk.  This “vulnerability” and “honesty” is marketable to a degree for the pua community – but to what extent do these vulnerabilities and honest attitudes simply just laziness . 

    Visually even before his death it was clear to see that Johnny didn’t look well

    “Do the work” isn’t enough 

    I mean on a basic level it’s just such a vague concept and one thing that struck me off about dating coaches. Sasha Daygame identifies “innerwork” “ self healing” but the reality is that dating is extremely competitive nowadays men need to do a tonne of innerwork plus approach , plus maintain their health, dress and SMV . Even someone like Sasha Daygame delivering this message is itself ironic seeing despite being in the dating game for some 15 years the guy still dresses like complete shit and now shills shitcoins on the Solana ecosystem. Again another example of the hypocrisy of dating coaches- “fix your problems now dear student “ – now give me $200 an hour whilst I procrastinate over my own deficiencies. 

    The expectation placed upon men is indeed at an all time high whilst the potential pitfalls of failure are higher than ever too .  The fact that some people criticise Johnny Berba for approaching without “fixing himself” is laughable – he had obvious mental issues from the beginning that weren’t ever going to be fixed- even when I met him in 2018 I could see that he was mentally not well in the head. For these guys the hope in a sexually competitive market place like London is slim when you combine it on his  mental health, financial and cognitive issues  its obvious that Johnny was far too damaged beyond a repair. In the video posted the fact that Paul Janka is commenting  on the flaws of pickup is also a bit unfair – Paul Janka has 100 times the smv of Johnny Berba- of course that means Johnny Berba has to spend more time approaching women that the average dude. Neuro-developmental disorders , anxiety and depression likely leave men in the dust and they need to work hard to catchup on time wasted. I found this to be the case with myself , i spent a lot of years in high school wasting time not developing my smv, not reading , not going to the gym and not dressing well well it’s no shock that women picked other men over me.

    The sexual marketplace is increasingly  more competitive 

    This no doubt contributes more to the loneliness of men. The fact that women now can get 2000-3000 matches on dating apps in major cities means men have to do a lot more work to feel love and appreciated – this obviously means more time is required to spend on dating and approaching and I feel its important to men’s development to spend that time acquiring social skills to move up the sexual market place .  Men must do more inner work than ever and if they don’t they face being left behind at a faster pace than previous generations .  Indeed theres rising inequality between men and women in the sexual marketplace – this means that some men will invariably need to do more work than others to move up in said sexual marketplace. Add the mental , neurodevelopment issues that berba had and you’ve got a long way to go. For some that journey in a hyper-competitive city might be too much- I certainly feel that  in the west men have a lot more work to do than in the east. Which is why Sasha’ message is quite a confusing one – the amount of work needed varies from man to man and most likely those in pickup need to do more than others but a portion of said men are most likely too behind the curb in the west to be competitive therefore moving to a less competitive city seems a better idea to improve the slim  dating prospects low value men in the west are getting down- heck Johnny Berba himself spent a large portion of his time gaming in eastern Europe so too did Torero its obvious that deep down they must of known that the competitive nature of the western world of dating was probably not worth the squeeze . 

    Loss of Income and Revenue can’t be discounted 

    It’s obvious that both Johnny Berba and Tom Torero dealt with a loss of revenue during covid I mean we are talking a solid years’ worth of coaching revenue gone for both- that would hurt anyone bad, but especially when you add up the history of mental health issues that these guys had in the past it could take its toll – particularly seeing as Berba had tax debt and was probably not making much money prior to coaching (he was a postman before this showing he clearly wasn’t exactly balling it out)  and judging by his appearance and his poor health he didn’t look particularly wealthy.  Torero too was living out of a van for most the time , so he too didn’t seem to be financially “crushing it” so to speak he had also had his WhatsApp and Paypal payment accounts closed because of the Danya Hajjaji article. 

    Torero’s Coaching Revenue had fallen sharply post Covid with the deletion of his paypal, whatsapp and youtube channel

    Pickup Can be Therapeutic 

    In general I don’t see the harm with talking to women on the street, the relationships that are formed from doing so can be therapeutic – to blame this for their deaths is borderline laughable really I mean – these guys had a tonne of other issues they couldn’t resolve the fact that they had sex with some women on the street is the last of their issues. I think for the majority of men making conversations with strangers and putting yourself out there is the key to creating options which in turn can reduce loneliness . 

    Some men have a long way to go in an increasingly competitive world . 

    When watching Johnny Berba’s old videos of him coaching clients it was clear that a lot of them had some major disadvantages in their smv – either they were short, old, had features of autism , Asperger’s or Dyspraxia – all in all it was evident that some of these clients needed help more so than just approaching women. There was one memorable client who appeared to have buck teeth who showed little progress after his 6 week programme, who had major issues in terms of dress and still seemed very anxious in sets even by the end of the programme. I don’t think this is Johnny’s fault though- a coach can only really work with the boundaries of SMV he is provided with by his clients- if one is a male 2 then sending that man into sets with 7s and 8s is very unlikely to yield anything – some people have to work on themselves far more than others especially in competitive cities like London which are ruthless and unforgiving .  Daygame can bridge a gap between a few points of smv and not much else imo and I feel at times self help coaches ignore these facts and instead choose to take the clients money and send them into the trenches without any real rational thought behind what could be done to really fix their issues. 

    Ideally a client should be at least a male 6 or a 7 THEN pickup should be a good way for them to increase their options – any lower and you’re looking at a big numbers game for people . To paraphrase in Sasha daygame’s  style in this case i’d say its time to “Do the work” on yourself , some of Johnny’s clients seemed in the lower levels of “left behind men – older, visually strange especially that buck tooth guy and really had serious issues with anxiety that wasn’t fixed – these people need a lot of time compared to most .

    The community is pretty weak 

    Given how diminished the views of Johnny’s content was it was clear he had been shadow banned and unable to regain his popularity- again im sure this shadow banning probably harmed his income – less views = less clients the same with Tom Torero .  Also due to covid there were no longer any real “meet-ups” in the pua community- the community couldn’t come together and discuss the issues , there were more Puas going out of business than staying in the game and covid simply exacerbated this  , the forums were dying / did die, groups like game global didn’t provide an adequate substitute for the loss of the community. Looking at Johnny Berba’s posthumous video releases they also appear to be gaining a fraction of the views they once did showing the popularity simply isn’t there even in honouring the death of someone who had a huge impact. 

    The Media’s Roll 

    In Tom Torero’s case Danya Hajjaji was an obvious cause , it was her article and her action of revealing Tom’s tactics in which he would record the taking of a girl’s virginity by voice note- I have to critique Tom for his actions here, if you know that the media are coming up after pickup artists then surely you’d spend some time to more adequately cover your tracks no? Berba wasn’t as impacted by the media as Tom was – infact his main criticisms came from other pua’s most notably John Anthony who would make videos mocking Berba- in fairness John Anthony’s infield was not much better and the videos he criticised Anthony in were Berba himself was deliberately humiliating himself. Nevertheless others in the community shared a dislike for Berba – me personally I saw him as erratic and mentally unstable as I said before when I met him in person in 2018  I later found out that he had been hospitalised for mental issues in 2017 so this came as no surprise to me .  Again I found it weird this guy looked a bit like a slob and was coaching guys to become their best self , it seemed ironic and borderline hypocritical but that’s just my view.  Whilst Berba was never attacked by the media himself the backlash against pua caused by the infamous BBC documentary caused his channel to become shadow banned-  the views dropped for him so too did the YouTube ad revenue and new clients in a similar fashion to Tom Torero. Johnny was not directly impacted but suffered a lot – add a lockdown in and it becomes clear that these factors rather than the pickup itself was  clearly causing the mental distress that could have instigated the OCD that eventually killed him. 

    Conclusions 

    Pickup is often blamed for a lot of things that I don’t think it deserves to be. In the case of Jonhny Berba and Tom Torero deaths I believe there are a number of more pressing issues that resulted in the deaths of these two individuals than pickup. More so – Johnny’s obvious Dyspraxia , cognitive issues, depression, history of anxiety from a young age , financial issues, tax burden, loss of revenue from covid probably played a greater roll than sex addiction – the same could be said for Torero who had issues years before pickup. From this I conclude that pickup was not the cause of their deaths in my opinion. 

  • Dangers of Passport Bros- A reality of the brutal sexual marketplace 

    The majority of dating coaches in the space advocate for moving to a country where your smv is higher – the age old saying of “go where you are treated best” Today I will be discussing reasons as to the potential consequences of doing this and situations where It might not work out. 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Example – Thailand Passport Bros: 

    There are literal YouTube channels that have interviews dedicated to those who met Thai wives abroad and had these said Thai wives divorce them and take  everything from them . There are even instances of said men committing suicide after a divorce.  If we see an interview with one of them below- 

    This guy is clearly autistic, probably has Asperger’s – is a social recluse – its probably that women target these sort of men as a better looking one would potentially have options  .This man himself in this story picked up his Thai girlfriend from online dating using a classic Thai dating website. These sort of men are very vulnerable because its clear on the face of it that they have no experience with women and are unable to know when they are being taken for a ride. The result – an easy avenue for the woman to get a passport with said woman lying about abuse he allegedly face against said man in a proceeding court case- now this no doubt causes a huge mental drain on the guy and an example where some women who are into you may have ulterior motives. If theres ever a huge gap in sexual market value between two individuals – especially an obvious visual one like the example posted above there’s a potential that the one lower down in terms of socio-economic SMV could be taking advantage of the other – this is almost always the woman but there are examples of young men taking advantage of vulnerable women in the third world too – examples of this in places like Egypt where young Egyptian men marry and divorce old western women.

    A Malaysian Man Discusses how Thai women trick naive westerners into parting ways with large amounts of cash in relationships

    In the example above a Malay man recounts his experience being used for money in a relationship with a Thai woman. He also explains the socio-economic factors behind this with Thailand’s deterring economic situation and rising inequality being one of the main drivers. He also speaks about men being lonely in the West and being taken advantage of in marriages in the East. With Thai women well aware of what their love and affection can do to manipulate the man into parting with large amounts of cash.

    Are these men lazy? Most definitely – they could easily stick it out and do a couple of 100 approaches in the UK and actually fight for a decent relationship – but most men take the easy way out or take the first option that reacts positively to them – in the case of this fat autistic guy it’s evident to anyone with a half decent level of experience with women that he was being used-  you don’t need to be an expert on relationship dynamics to figure that out but its clear his lack of experience with the opposite sex it’s just having him taken to the cleaners and a large percentage of men who go to Thailand to take advantage of their high smv end up in bad positions . Often it’s their inexperience that gets taken advantage of rather than anything else and usually the men who pick the Thai brides have a large amount of inexperience so much so they are willing to marry any half decent chick that comes their way. 

    It’s not just inexperienced that get taken advantage of – in the Thai talk with dan podcast you do see some fairly decent smv men still be taken advantage of in relationships with women – the host who is a guy who left Manchester to move to Thailand before dating a Thai chick who tried to cut herself whenever he wanted to leave her. The result – the man was entrapped in the relationship and made to look like an abuser- again when theres too much difference in sexual market value you see the potential for one person to be taken advantage of in the relationship by the other and the person with “superior smv” ends up being entrapped in the relationship.

    Thai Talk With Dan Podcasts discusses the manipulations many men take when in relationships with Thai Women.

    Modern Day Views on Thai Brides 

    For all that’s said and done the modern interview on the  Thairsh times  YouTube channel are really interesting. For all the stick Rollo Tommasi gets in his “Rational Male Series”  They do paint a picture to prove Rollo’s theories are at least somewhat real in some circumstances – stories of Thai wives being manipulative , using weak low smv men for cash and the real examples of hypergamy on display within Thai culture. With Thailand having the divorce rate of some 80 percent it is estimated by the Malay  interviewee posted previously – the risks of dating and looking to establish a long term relationship are very real in Thailand and definitely have consequences at hand which people more often than not gloss over with romantic love or infatuation – the fact is 80 percent of passport bros in Thailand are likely to lose long term in LTRs should ring alarm bells.  Sometimes nihilism and negative apprehension in the short term can protect one from the very real consequences of divorce and shitty marriages in the long term. 

    Korean Men and Vietnamese Brides 

    Again in a similar way to the British men with Thai brides situation we have Vietnamese  brides moving up the sexual market place to marrying Korean men- these men are usually considered an after thought by Korean women – with the men blaming them for being too demanding or a modern day pua term- Hoeflation. Where the socio economics of a certain country or region mean the hoes become overly demanding for the value that they add from my experience this is more commonplace in London/Hong Kong/ Singapore / Korea and the US – in predominantly richer cities.

    The end results of these bridal marriages were an equal or so divorce rate to that of regular couples in Korea which was interesting to see and the results were mixed with a portion of these weddings ending up in ok happy and for filled marriages , others were the girls just robbed the guys’ shit with some being the guy just abusing the girl. So the reactions from this documentary were ultimately mixed showing that in some cases a high sexual market difference didn’t always lead to the men getting f’ed over in a divorce with this documentary concluding the the fuck ups were actually equal to those of regular marriages. Again the men in this documentary entering these marriages seem more on the side of the autism – Aspergs with relatively lower SMV to regular men. 

    American Tourists getting Killed in Colombia Whilst Using Tinder 

    Once again passport bros show their inexperience in certain places and non more evident than here – with women inviting them out via dating apps like Tinder and spiking their drinks – this is prone to happening in any places but mainly in developing countries where bar girls work taking advantage of naive people . Whilst on tinder in Latvia in 2018 I was messaged on many an occasion by said bar girls on tinder –  a lot of these women wanted to meet me that night there and then which was too good to be true. No woman on online dating will make you her immediate priority and if she is she’s most probably a bar girl .  Have some respect for yourself and arrange a date a day or two later instead of immediately meeting up with these women and if it looks too good to be true it probably is. 

    Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-68022288

    With this article I feel bad – but again a lack of experience in social dynamics and self awareness can often lead to men being exploited and taken advantage of . Dumb people/ Autistics/ Spergers  in general get taken advantage of with their lack of social awareness of being manipulated – indeed one of my Asperger’s friends got scammed in Ukraine by a bar girl in 2018 – he matched with her on tinder and met up with her that night on tinder at her location only to be hit with a £2000 bill at the end of the drinks- the lesson here if someone on tinder wants to meet you up then are there at their place immediately after matching them don’t do it. 

    Tips for not being taken advantage of on Tinder: 

    Most of this is common sense but ill write some of it here just incase for those of you that are new reading this: 

    • Don’t agree to meet up the same night you match someone 
    • Always make a location to a bar or coffee shop of your choice not hers – if she insists on her location its a sign she might be a bar girl 
    • If you’re in latin america insist on a popular coffee shop in a mall – somewhere where you know you can’t get spiked – same thing for south east Asia – chose a competent location where you can’t get taken advantage of 
    • Never send money to any girl ever- its the biggest red flag you’re being catfished. 
    • Never send nudes to any girl ever- this could potentially lead to possible black mail cat fishing scams 

    The old school Louis Theroux Thai Bride Documentary 

    This documentary did the rounds in 2003 on the BBC showing what could best be described as low smv men going to Thailand and looking for love there- The drawback? A lot of these men again ended up getting divorced quickly and would marry extremely quickly- in this documentary sometimes after a day or two. One of the men in the documentary highlighted below is clearly a nutcase and that women seems to want to escape poverty in Thailand and would rather marry a nutcase than stay in Thailand which is kinda sad. All in all when men try and desperately fix their problems under illusions of marriage to seem like the problem is gone – the reality is the lack of game, the lack of self awareness of the opposite sex is still abundantly evident and when you don’t have those social skills there are no quick fixes. Marrying a person escaping  poverty doesn’t fix lack of game. 

    Of course the man in this documentary had been through 2 divorces whether they were his fault or not remains to be seen but they most likely were as he displays pretty bad  retardation in this documentary. A life without learning social skills you can end up here being used as someone’s ticket to a passport or alone – men need to be proactive about their life problems at all costs.

    My own family – potential passport bros being taken advantage of 

    As I’ve written before on numerous  my own brother was a dumbass aspergy passport bro who got taken advantage of . He met a Russian woman online at age 20 and flew out to Russia and consequently married her – the reasons he did this were varied . Firstly he went to an all boys school from around the age of 13 to 18 and didn’t make many friends – he ended up socially isolated with no female companions whatsoever – so naturally the first woman who showed interest in him online which happened to be a female 3 from a remote part of Russia – he flew out and married.  

    Again my brother has been on the Asperger’s spectrum his whole life which no doubt left him in a vulnerable position to be manipulated by any woman- had it not been this Russian woman it would’ve most likely been someone else. Said Russian woman then cheated on him with three other men during the course of the relationship even after he had kids she was still cheating on him. 

    Ive written about his marriage on three separate occasions in this blog alone -maybe sounding like a broken record on this issue but once again I reiterate that it shows how men can get taken advantage of in dating and relationships. My brother seemingly had this romantic fantasy that if he rescued a woman from poverty then she would stay loyal to her- alas she didn’t and it proved to me no matter what you do for a woman loyalty is never guaranteed . She can always up sticks and leave at any moment and visa versa. 

    I also note that a lot of men. Are permanently stuck in bad relationship situations due to the neurodevelopment or cognitive disorders- those on the Asperger’s spectrum will have to do a boatload more work developing social skills than those who aren’t for example.  Some can make it and I’ve seen autistic/aspergey people do well . Others will suffer however and continually be  cannon fodder for manipulative women- in the case of my brother he kept on marrying women from the third world and serving as an easy gateway to British citizenship for them as a result. 

    Conclusions 

    Most of this blog is common sense for the majority of people who read this blog who aren’t new to pickup artistry but I still see naive men making the same mistakes while gaming in the third world. Passport broing can feel great- the feeling of being accepted, lusted for and respected is something that every man wants but its important to be self aware when you’re being manipulated and taken advantage of. For all the criticism “PUA” gets it provides invaluable experience when done correctly that most men are lacking , the more social situations you put yourself in the better you will be equipped to face life’s challenges and not fall victim for such scams- some of which in extreme cases can prove fatal. Going to the third world to improve ones dating odd’s isn’t a bad idea it just needs to be done with discipline and caution which I believe a significant portion of western men don’t have.

  • Assessing The Rise and Fall of the 21 Convention 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    • Just to be clear I am a huge Anthony Dream Johnson fan – his convention speakers have inspired most of the works on this blog – I’d say at least 80 percent of this blog could be credited to having the based of its ideas on Anthony’s conference . However its fall has been quite a remarkable one. The largest men’s self development conference is now at an end and I will discuss why in this blog post: 

    Questionable Speaker Choice

    John Anthony’s appearance on the 21 convention was the most “thumbs downed” speech ever of the convention’s history . With him proving to be the most polarising speaker ever in the convention’s history. John Anthony then made roast videos of Anthony Johnson followed by Anthony Johnson roasting him back for fucking a tranny. But John Anthony wasn’t the only questionable speaker in the panel , Arthur Kwon Lee was another oddball  – a heavily steroid using Korean Christian artist posting pro Nazi shit – in my opinion a complete loon bag   , Donovan Sharpe – a men’s self help coach who struggled really to date above a 2 himself , Jesse Lee Peterson who was against sex and hook up culture but is allegedly a closeted homosexual himself. There are countless more examples but you get the general gist – a lot of the speakers had weird ass past histories and weren’t particularly well received by the viewership .

    John Anthony’s 21 Convention Speech Proved to be the most “thumbs downed” speech of the convention’s history

    A lack of Clear – Defined Direction

    On the one hand there would speakers showing men how to rack up lays and on the other hand there would be a speaker critiquing hook up culture – there was generally a big flip flopping with a seemingly endless battle between conservative Christian Values  and PUA culture seemingly unable to find a decent conclusion . Of course you expect peoples views and experiences change over time but in my opinion it turned into too much of a conservative cesspool .

    Tanner Guzy did a video lecture about the importance of marriage before eventually surcomming to divorce himself

    Endless Falling out and Conflicts between Coaches 

    I can’t even list all the coaches Anthony Dream Johnson has had a conflict with – but ill try: 

    Anthony Dream Johnson got pissed off because Alex Cortez’ wife wouldn’t take his last name 

    Arthur Kwok Lee who Anthony had a conflict with because Anthony disliked his black pill viewpoints , also accused him of homosexuality , antisemitism and steroid use. 

    John Anthony- Anthony Dream Johnson was upset with his tranny lays subsequently lead to a twitter beef with John Anthony making a video mocking Anthony Johnson about his marriage to a prostitute . John Anthony also filed a threat of a law suit against Dream Johnson but nothing came of it. 

    Jay Vincent-  Anthony Dream Johnson wasn’t happy with his TRT usage and called him a fraud because of it . 

    Adam Lyons- 10 years after he spoke at the convention Dream Johnson came out and called him a fraud. 

    Rollo Tomassi- Apparently doxxed the convention and tried to hijack a meet-up between the speakers  with a liberal news host . This lead to a big falling out between the two of them with the conflict still ensuing even today on twitter. 

    Jesse Lee Peterson : Anthony Johnson  accused him of homosexual behaviour – not sure what came from those accusations nor whether or not they had been resolved . 

    Richard Cooper :  Richard complained about the safety of the convention which Anthony Johnson took as a personal insult resulting in a falling out between the two which  has seemingly been endless. 

    I could go on but you get the gist . 

    Rise of the Red Pill proved unpopular 

    Speakers like Rollo Tomassi and Richard Cooper generally speaking lost their appeal after a while despite raking in the views initially these people are sitting on a lot less views in general as of now- looking on reddit and seduction forums most of their work wasn’t taken too well by those in the seduction/ self help realm. 

    The new 21 Convention Patriarch Convention Rebranding proved less popular to the mass audiences compared to previous speakers at the event – Anthony Johnson has since had conflicts with numerous of these speakers

    Death of Key speakers and contributors 

    Tom Torero , Andrew the Private man and Alan Roger Currie dying no doubt left a hole that couldn’t be filled by the broader dating community. Particularly Tom Torero who’s still very much spoken about in the community at large and who’s podcast still gain a lot of viewership by those who’ve uploaded them to preserve his legacy.  With the deaths of these coaches comes very little replacements that are superior – Id go as far as saying no one has even attempted to come out and replace the hole these speakers have left or match the level of the content they made – especially Torero.  Replacing Tom Torero with Alex from PWF is akin to replacing a Ferrari with a Peugeot 208  , it’s just not the same and most likely after time passes these people will be thought of as irreplaceable. 

    The retirement of key coaches like Liam Mcrae and Sasha Daygame bred an aura of less excitement around the convention. For one these coaches were more relatable to the younger generation of viewers rather than say a Texas Dom or Ross Jeffries – definitely the reliability element had somewhat gone out the window replaced with coaches that were more associated with traditional American Christian  conservative values rather than anything else. Is this a bad thing though ? As it could be seen to be showing  growth and maturity however the YouTube views suggest otherwise- the likes of James Marshall , Sasha daygame , Liam Mcrae dominated the new generation of coaches like Texas Dom, Tanner Guzy, Elliot Hulse in terms of views . 

    Ex-Speakers Faced Allegations that harmed the 21 Convention Brand 

    Whether it be John Anthony sleeping with a tranny or Adam Lyons being exposed as a scammer- the amount of ex speakers that faced questions about their past increased and thus so did the mistrust associated with them. A lot of 21 convention speakers have done odd things and said actions have reflected poorly on Anthony Johnson in turn – not that I blame him though- self help has always been full of gurus and shysters so the fact that a percentage of the 21 convention speakers turned out that way is no surprise.  There are people that i looked up to in the past that Im well aware have made mistakes and have since been exposed.

    Black Listing from Youtube 

    Due to Anthony Johnson’s polarising viewpoints on feminism he’s had a lot of his videos blacklisted as well as demonetised. This has resulted in less views and a loss of revenue for the convention . Especially in the last 3 years when his channel was once even banned only for it to be unbanned on appeal. 

    Birth of his daughter 

    Of course the birth of his daughter no doubt took alot of the focus away from the convention on his newborn and rightly so. Its difficult to build new connections and new speakers when you are so preoccupied with something as important as the birth of a new born. 

    PUA Community -Divisions and Conflicts

    Even outside of Anthony Johnson there was a lot of external conflicts between different coaches. For example – James Marshall and his beef with John Anthony,  Tom Torero and his beef with Nick Krauser , Nick Krauser himself also having a beef with John Anthony  the conflicts were seemingly endless between the speakers making it difficult to create some sense of “unity” that the early 2010 speaker groups seemingly had .

    Conclusions 

    21 Convention has had a rough ride the last couple of years  , with bad press , poor ticket sales , unpopular Neo-conservative speakers , poorer quality dating coaches , a clear lack of a defined red pill direction and other issues.  While these are problems and the convention may never make a comeback towards what it once was I still appreciate all of Anthony Dream Johnson’s efforts – without the speeches of James Marshall, Tom Torero and Liam Mcare most likely I wouldn’t have a girlfriend today and I’m forever indebted to him for that. 

  • Assessing the Damage Online Dating did to men 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Decided to write a blog post regarding Online Dating and it’s impact on men and men’s self help and development. Im sure many of you have had success with online dating and I don’t doubt it but in my opinion for the majority of men it’s a dead end and I want to provide my reasons as to why.

    What Online Dating Did to Men

    • It essentially killed the PUA community – I mean considering search terms on google for the term PUA peaked in 2016 around the time when dating apps really started to gain traction.  The idea of men coming together and really sharing ideas around dating and male/female intersexual dynamics are pretty much dead . There are still some active forums- most notably -Reddit Seduction , SkilledSeducer, So Suave and Kill Your Inner Loser – however these don’t have anywhere near the foot traffic that they did back in the day. For example even in 2017 you could see the RSD forum was pretty well populated enabling users to find wingmen very easily.  Furthermore you  could attend meet ups and genuinely connect with like minded individuals – now that’s almost a thing of the past. Most the top tier value men in the pickup space or those that were perhaps going to go into pickup instead found themselves being satisfied for the urge on dating apps leaving only a few top tier men left dedicated to approaching with the rest  of the them being  either mid tier and the majority being low tier – autistic/ Asperger’s types. The result arguably  gleaned the top tier men from the community – the ones best capable of setting a good example to the rest leaving the need for guidance and maturity by the medium to low smv types unfulfilled – in other words the remaining men had few options of “high value” smv men to follow . 
    • Less men in the community no doubt means that there are less people to coach – its no wonder that so many dating coaches have gone into retirement in the last 2- 7 years most notably Yad, Sasha Daygame, Tony Solo, Johnathan Neil Thomsen , Liam Mcrae and travel bum  all of whom retired in a short space of one another- now I know that money alone wasn’t the sole factor to their retirements but I believe it was defiantly a contributing factor to at least some of their retirements and I believe if the convenience of online dating didn’t exist these people would still be making a substantial amount and probably a good portion of them would still be working. 
    • Women are more sexually satisfied now and are able to achieve hypergamous dating strategy thus leading to “hoeflation” in the Western world . I definitely think this is something that’s happened as a result of online dating – women now have more cock at their disposal with ease and don’t have to do much to climb up the sexual market place anymore . In contrast men were left working harder for less and had to really hustle hard especially in the western world. This left women feeling more entitled and needing to put less effort in to date men. The result a situation which leaves men feeling frustrated and women with all the choice. 
    • Online dating is essentially winner takes all capitalism in action-  I mean I wouldn’t personally brand it as anything else. – quite literally 1 percent of men are fucking and picking up 80 percent of the chicks on there and even an average girl can manage 1000s of matches pretty easily. Only the very top tier men stand to benefit from this development with some trickle down to the male 8s and 7s but overall for the majority of men they stand to gain very little from online dating.  As for women the mid tier 6s and 7s will inevitably be absorbed by the fuck boy 9s and 10s and potentially messed around with men who want them for short term mating strategy but who will ultimately strive for better long term. The result leaves mid tier women potentially frustrated with the bottom tier probably dating slightly out of their league SMV wise on the apps .
    • Is society pushing back though – there’s an argument to be said for this-the crash of stock for dating app “bumble” (an app in which women message men first)  showed that human nature can’t be messed around with – women ultimately want someone to open them and show some leadership instinct in the interactions – that being said Im  sure bumble has been successful for some men and women but judging by stock market share price and general users dropping I can’t help but think the majority are not finding  success with this app – a similar argument could be said for match.com which endured a similar stock price crash most likely emulating from user fatigue with the apps and of course it’s the hot women that keep this app running and the majority of them are probably being approached in real life plus being Instagram DMed  , Social circle/Clubs, Facebook dating or messaged on a variety of other dating apps like Hinge or Coffee meets bagel , language meet up apps etc. and the majority of attractive women can usually break into high tier social circles simply because they are attractive unlike men who usually have to do more to earn an upgraded social circle . The choice for beautiful women these days is seemingly endless so an app that makes men open first or an app that requires extensive work like match.com probably isn’t worth the time anymore for a desirable woman. 
    • A possible lust for real life interaction?  Tom Torero said in one of his penultimate podcasts before his death that he foresaw a situation whereby real life interaction would be lusted upon and a move away from online will happen and to some extent the crashing of the bumble and match.com share price probably somewhat proves that there is a movement towards this happening.  However the pua community has remained smaller than ever- gone are the days of a 2004 style lair meet-ups or being inspired by watching Adam Lyons spin a chick on the street . Funnily enough my Aunt told me one of the things she liked about my relationship was the fact that me and my girlfriend met face to face (was a daygame approach for me) which she felt was romantic and nice to see in an era where everyone met online. 
    • Online dating made men lazy- why put up with ego shattering approaches when you can hide through a screen and not face any harm to your ego and risk looking uncool. Indeed I see the appeal – for me I never enjoyed being commoditised online hence why I moved to daygame plus my results online bar one Brazilian model  lay  in Brazil were generally just shit.  Of course the same could be said for the laziness it invokes in women – women can simply edit their photos or use old ones of their prime to display themselves at their peak- the whole thing is pretty “inauthentic” and bordering on dishonest. Of course I’ve seen my male friends also edit their pictures for example using photos in favourable lighting and generally ones of their “absolute prime physique ” and not ones that are a true/fair depiction of themselves.  As someone who’s written a lot of online social media guides it might be somewhat hypocritical of me critiquing the aspect of “Fakeness” of online game but I use social media to prevent flakes from daygame  – to build trust and rapport rather than for online dating reasons. 

    My Family and Online Dating 

    My family have had mixed results from the life of online dating.  Two of my cousins met fantastic wives from it- my brothers however had less luck. My oldest brother had Asperger’s and with that came a lack of self awareness of when he was being used and manipulated by the opposite sex .  The result- he ended up meeting a Russian woman online at aged 20  flying out to Russia and then getting divorced once she came back to London after securing a British passport (she cheated on him with three other men). Online dating had just enabled female hypergamy to take place and for a woman to use the internet to basically take advantage of a man with a neuro developmental disorder . Online dating can be dangerous for certain autistic men and those with Asperger’s . I’ve personally know men with Asperger’s who’ve gone on online dates with women on tinder in Ukraine only to end up in a scam bar and paying thousands of dollars in “drinks bills” There are also examples in Colombia of naive American tourists having their drinks spiked whilst on online dates and ended up being murdered.  Online dating for men definitely comes with dangers compared with dating a regular woman on the street. With ulterior motives regarding the former likely especially if they’re picking up someone from the developed world like Ukraine or Colombia. 

    My second eldest brother had similar bad luck with online dating- it became his only source of leads and he ended up dating a single mother and being in a very tumultuous relationship – despite being a millionaire and a success it served as an example to me about the importance of creating good quality options and for most men online dating isn’t the route to that.  Maybe if my brother had better photos the situation would’ve been different but I doubt it- online dating made him somewhat stagnant and over-reliant  – he was basically at the mercy of an algorithm when it came to meeting people- had he had the balls to do cold approach he’d probably be in a far better position today . I feel online dating just completely plays to the advantage of women in almost all cases in western cities – enabling convenient hypergamy with just a few swipes of their phone leaving the majority men to have to compete over the scraps available . All In all it’s a pretty tough situation for any man to be in whether they have a huge amount of value or whether they don’t as my brother was an accomplished individual but he only got a level below his smv and could only do as best as this online algorithm could give him. 

    It’s not all doom and gloom for online dating 

    I have no doubts a lot of couples still meet online and that it can be a competent way for a certain percentage of men and women to meet online – indeed a lot of cities around the world daygame just isn’t feasible. For example in Dallas there just isn’t the footfall to do daygame, barely anyone walks from A to B there which makes it really unfeasible compared to cities like London, New York or Paris. So I understand for most people there its really online or nothing – maybe relying on social circle or university but once that dries out in the mid 20s then its really not feasible for the long term either.  So yeah a lot of people are stuck using it due to geographical issues but for the majority of men who live in a city with decent foot flow I hope they at least try 100-200 approaches of day game and see the difference it has the potential to make in their lives. 

    Instagram Dming Generation Don’t Really make Sense 

    It’s funny scrolling through reddit and seeing posts of people asking for the best opener on instagram without really understanding that for 99.999 percent of men instagram dming Is a complete waste of time – unless you have truly elite SMV it really won’t work out for you sending random dms to hot chicks who have 1,000s of horny men in their dms all the time- your message probably won’t get read by them.  The whole route of online dating has encouraged men to take the easy way out and look for quick hook ups – rather than actually working on the way they present and portray themselves in the real world they’re too fixated on looking cool online. The stats are against you in most forms of game and it’s none more evident than in online dating especially instagram dating. Now im not saying its impossible – but you really need elite pictures to make it work well whilst being in the top percent SMV wise  and most men simply aren’t. 

    Bumble’s stock price has Crashed – potentially showing modern day frustration with online dating.

    Online Dating Can’t mask bad SMV and can’t be relied upon for the vast majority of men  

    Even  Ex-The Natural Lifestyles coach Liam Mcrae who published a Tinder guide stated he saw daygame as the main prospect for his leads and Tinder as a side hustle – in the men’s dating community online guides sell well because they protect the ego of men who are simply too pussy to cold approach again that’s the big marketability of online dating – theres no rejection , no real facing of the toughness of life and having to really stand up for yourself as a man.  The online dating guides themselves don’t account for the simple fact that you realistically need to be in the top 5 percent of men to get decent prospects AND have good photos  . The majority of men don’t have the photos or the SMV to succeed so basically any guide or “online pickup line” won’t make up for their deficiencies – its pretty much a marketing scam for the majority of men . Daygame at least you learn leadership, confidence and communication skills with the right approach these are a display of smv and increase the odds of you dating “out of your league”   with online dating it’s the opposite for men – it just enables women to date out of their with men left waiting for what the algorithm can give them . 

    Online Dating Website Match – also shows a similar stock price crash

    Common Sense Statistic Dictates Men are Fucked in online dating

    On the most basic level an average 6/7 out of woman can expect to glean a few thousand matches via online dating (if she swipes right continually) this means even if you’re in the top 5-10 percent of men you’re still expecting huge competition of 50-100 other dudes. It’s therefore just getting harder and hard for men to stand out on these apps – even if you are in the top 50 out of 2000 you then need to somehow message your way to getting the woman out on a date and have the online rizz to get her away from the 100s of other men who are messaging her on the apps which is once again unlikely.

    Concluding thoughts

    Online dating certainly has its pros and cons – for some men its a great lead generator – and to repeat the quote from  Liam McRae in his book “Tinder Success Stories” should be only used in collusion with other forms of game- mainly daygame and social circle game. It shouldn’t be the only source you have of meeting women – the main gripe I have with online game is how it mutilated the men’s self development community and left men on their own swiping on couches having to plead to bring out a 7 on a coffee date.  It’s probably in the long run caused more harm to the majority of men – whilst leaving a few of the fuckboys at the top 1 percent to take all the wins. 

    If men are serious about their dating goals being proactive in real life is the best way. I hope men can move away from the apps and come back to the real world and actually show some leadership and intuition and go out there and approach but this seems like hopium. Men are slowly declining in the western world and I believe the overstimulation of technology and the connivence of apps may have killed our lust and desire to be proactive about our problems in life but then again- maybe I’m just a nihilist. 

  • Areas to Date Around London -5th Edition Guide for new Dating Locations in 2025

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Been back in London for a while now so been adding some good dating locations that I have discovered on my travels whilst living here- I have 4 other guides that can be of use too so check them out for even more date locations and spots.  Most these places are for relaxed first date experiences that should be suitable for all budgets- 

    Shot London- Marylebone –  Decent coffee shop and can be used as a good starter date location , you can use this as the primary location and move onto other areas later including Nobu Marylebone which has a large drinks area downstairs or the Churchill Cigar house. 

    Shot London- Knightsbridge  

    A nice cozy coffee place that can be used as a prime first spot location- away from the noise and bustle of the rest of Knightsbridge this is another fantastic date location. 

    Shot London – Knightsbridge

    Hafız Mustafa – KnightsBridge 

    Located in the heart of Knightsbridge and adjacent to several bars – Hafiz Mustafa offers great teas and Sweet Treats the perfect low key first date location

    Good for an instant date spot if you’re out day gaming in Knightsbridge  – of course here is a more conservative part of London so don’t expect to be able to rapidly escalate on the first date -here should be used to initiate a bounce elsewhere – my recommendation would be Clap London which is roughly a 5 minute walk away from here.

    Served- Wimbledon – I don’t really write enough about South London date locations but heres one. There’s often been a lack of decent coffee shops in the Wimbledon area but this place seems pretty new and decent – if you’re gaming around the Wimbledon area this is a good place for an instant date. 

    Clap London- Knightsbridge: Great new rooftop bar near Knightsbridge station , another Dubai chain making the rounds- turns into a nightclub after dinner is served too- perfect place for drinks and the second location not a bad place to choose after Shot London or the Turkish coffee place. 

    Clap London- Knightsbridge, Serving Cocktails and with an upstairs bar and dj area

    Hagen Espresso Bar (Hagen Leadenhall Market) : The location of this place is absolute fire – beautiful looking and not well known by many tourists , its also located right next to a Young’s pub so its a good first spot to take a woman for a coffee before suggesting drinks – there’s also a Fortnum and Maison cafe adjacent to the coffee shop.

    A unique setup Hagen Expresso Bar- LeadenHall Market

    Mayfair/Green Park Area  – 

    The Dorchester Hotel

    The Dorchester Hotel – Plenty of places to sit on dates

    This hotel has 4-5 restaurants and is a quiet and intimate venue perfect for late night dates or “the last bounce” after a coffee/bar date. Located in central London yet no way near as loud as bars you will find in central- the couches are also great to build up intimacy during the date too .

    Lali Coffee Shop 

    Stylish place great for a first date – not too pricy and great seating – located near Mayfair in a not too croweded part of London as long as you can get couch seats this is a great place to go for a date. 

    Lali Cafe

    Maksu Mayfair

    Brand new Turkish place in Mayfair defiantly worth checking out- quiet- discrete with decent seating in addition. Serves some jazzy – unique drinks like Turkish lemonade and near several bars, hotels and pubs which can enable a second location  bounce. This place is often times empty as it’s essentially a clothes shop with a coffee shop attached to it.

     

    Farmshop –  Green Park  – This is an excellent place to grab a wine and is tucked away in Green Park away from the hustle and bustle of central London, its quiet and serves little bites to eat too, perfect for a second location bounce after an initial coffee. The wineshop is located on basement with the grocery store on the ground floor. The area surrounding this place is also good for an post- date walk with galleries nearby and loads of coffee shops that close relatively late around 8-10pm . 

    Farm Shop-Green Park Nestled in a quiet and often forgotten part of Central London with nearby coffee shops/ bars/galleries and parks to continue the date to after

    Sloane Square- 

    Knoops- 

    The Knoops in Sloane Square is unique as it has downstairs seating and in the Summer months its often pretty empty  showing a pretty cool and intimate place to have a coffee/ Hot Chocolate.  Most Knoops around London are decent first date location spots . 

    Hagen Expresso Bar Sloane Square : Located in Chelsea with the nearest station being Sloane Square – Address -151 King’s Rd, London SW3 5TX . Now there are a lot of these places all over London but this is still a good spot – Sloane square is now full of decent coffee shops and this is another one of them a first date location which has the opportunity of a bounce to a nearby restaurant for drinks which is located 5 minutes away from here is good too. 

    Hagen Expresso Bar King’s Road

  • There is scarcity in Every Aspect of dating – A call to action for Men in Pickup 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    When characterising the “abundance mindset” in dating I began to think overtime that this theory was largely false and didn’t really live up to the longterm acid test. The reality was that dating was brutal and competitive more so than I’d have myself believe. Living in London I was acutely aware of the brutality of the sexual market place. In a rich city things were competitive , women hiring model shots to give themselves the edge over one another, when I was in my early teens I wouldn’t understand this. Now that I’m in 30s I realised how competitive the game was when I’d speak to women living in London how they’d have Saudi men flying them out across the world, lavishing them with gifts and sending them money I realised then that dating was more brutal and competitive that I made it out to be.  I perhaps took my life for granted in my early 20s thinking I had all the time in the world to make mistakes , be lazy and not really that dedicated to the craft of cold approaching but as time passed and I watched a lot of men in my social circle not really achieving their dating goals. I realised that every aspect of dating is scarce, from the time you have to approach , the time it takes to find “truly girlfriend”  worthy women and the time you have to build your smv. I wrote this blog post to show some examples of set scarcity in the dating world in hopes that we as men become a little more cognisant of it. 

    Theoretically we can’t all make it 

    If every man and woman aspires to date a 10 we can’t all date 10s as beauty in of itself is a highly scare asset . That’s what makes beauty special and banging a hot chick in of itself as a special moment. We value beauty because it’s scarce .The same way in which women value six pack abs because having a good body in of itself is scarce, women value resources and wealth because being wealthy in of itself is scarce and the majority of men – particularly in the developing world are not wealthy. Not every woman can dating a millionaire or a financially secure men- statistically the majority simply can’t -scarcity is an attractive concept and not every woman and man can attract the high tier.  Not every man can date a high value woman who’s kind and down to earth either – good women are as scarce as good men in the modern world based on my experiences approaching for 4 years out of roughly 800 approaches I’d say only around 5-6 of women I dated were true “wifey” material.

    In the self-help industry many men and women are bombarded with the “abundance mentality” that there are good women and men everywhere- I’d argue there isn’t , finding value and truly compatibility from high value people that can elevate your life to the next level is really rare and hard to do . 

    Your Time Is scarce in the dating world 

    You only have so much time to date the people you want and for most men it will take a lot of time- hence why I recommend men to cold approach and increase options as early as possible in life. You only have so much time to create options for yourself and cold approach in of itself is time consuming – finding a good fit for your long term life takes time , hard work and dedication especially if you want a wife and family then you really have to put the numbers in and approach . Even if you’re getting hot women consistently finding the ones with positive attributes and those who are worthy of being the wives to your children are rare- so time is of the essence if you want to build a family – especially if you’re a man. Women too need to spend a long about of time making decisions between fuck boys and men who can genuinely provide for their children if they don’t theres a risk of being a single mum and future struggling in the dating world further down the line.  So for both genders time is limited , the risks are always high  but for men I’d argue the maturity phase takes a lot longer time and mental investment which most aren’t ready for given the high drop out rate in the Pua community . 

    Opportunities to Find High Quality wingmen are rare

    With the rise of online dating the pua community simply got obliterated – PUA forums have diminished in popularity and simply don’t have as many people participating as in thte early 2010s. Finding good quality wingmen again is a numbers game which requires a lot of work and discipline , you simply have to put the work in as the majority either won’t be compatible or will will have neurodevelopment disorders like Aspergers or more severe autism that will make it difficult for them to improve their dating life ( not saying its impossible but it’s a low probability outcome and makes them more incompetent as wingmen)

    Of course its also apparent that the best quality men usually leave the pua space the quickest as they usually are the ones to gleen a ltr the quickest from doing it. High quality wingmen tend to retire earlier from the game as they have more opportunities to settle down. So if you do find a good quality wingman respect your time with them- they might not be around a long time in the PUA space.

    Time is scarce to improve your SMV 

    You can only travel to so many places to become a more adventurous person – you can only pick up so many skills – Time is definitely a scarce commodity in these regards. Achieving mastery in a skillset takes around 10,000 hours – there’s not really a lot of time in ones life to achieve mastery so regular discipline really is important in a lot of aspects. SMV improvement is probably even more important for men than it is for women and requires serious time investment – so the younger you start and outline your plans for value improvement the more time you have to cold approach with high smv and increase your options .

    Only a small portion of people make it out of daygame with even a single lay 

    Daygame success in of itself is scarce- most men don’t have the mental attributes to survive doing it for the longterm so success in this aspect is rare in of itself. Despite the optimism I had when I started daygaming in late 2017 I found that the majority of men in the daygame scene really struggled even garner a single date .  I also became disillusioned with how many people seemingly “hid behind” marketing ahead of taking actual action. Such things would include: taking pictures of attractive women they weren’t actually dating or boasting online with exaggerated stories of their love lives.  Soon I was realising that a lot of the coaches I admired and respect weren’t actually approaching or having the success that I thought they did. 

    This was surprising to me but it became self-evident once I did daygame for myself that speaking to strangers is difficult and has a huge adjustment process, beginners need to give it time – minimum 3-6 months to really adjust and to build discipline in this area of their lives. 

    There is only so much time you can give women: 

    Even if you have a massive rotation eventually some women in said rotation will want more of you and want to commit to you either that or they will pursue other more reliable long term prospects and ditch you – failing that they may just become obsessed with you and start to disrupt your life. Even if theoretically you banged 10 10s tomorrow a huge percentage of them will probably want more and more of you. You only have so much time to give to women especially if you want a wife and family. The time you have to enjoy your rotations is scarce in of itself. High value women arguably have less time to give to men as  they approach their peak during their mid 20s so often times act more ruthlessly in this regard when they must lock a guy down.  So even if you’re a rising success or a complete failure there is scarcity – you can only sustain so many sexual partners for so long – eventually if you want a family you need to make some choices and cut certain women from your rotation. Eventually choices will need to be made and some people might be disappointed with the decisions you make but that’s life. 

    Time is scarce to build a Family 

    For men and women who struggle with dating and finding life partners the effects can really be detriment to their life.  For women its obvious- if they have kids too late  then it can affect the health of their children-  also the older they get the less desirable they will be to the elite group of men that have options.  For men too there is scarcity involved – lets say you want kids as a man and you continue to play the field until your mid 40s by the time you have kids you may have a lot less time to enjoy them – for example if you are a man having kids at say age 45 by the time you’re 60 then the kid is 15 , you are probably well past your physical prime to enjoy them in that case. So men who gloat that women hit their prime earlier than them – yes that’s true but at the end of the day men must work hard to secure their long term partner  sooner rather than later if they really want to enjoy children in their prime. 

    Conclusion 

    No doubt this blog post sucks, it’s written in poor prose and pretty basic language with maybe an overly simplistic view on the world but I wanted to drive home the point that  scarcity  is no doubt something that effects everyone whether it be a female 10 deciding which man is husband material or the male 1 who is in his mid 30s who really needs to drop weight and put in serious time and dedication into approaching women – the reason I wrote this blog was to showcase the importance for men to really utilise their time well, increase smv and cold approach often and understand that time is scarce and we really only have so much to give towards achieving our relationship goals. This viewpoint maybe ultimately a bit nihilistic and written in a “Rollo Tomassi” fashion  but I guess it’s important to take things seriously and be aware we probably take the time we have now for granted when it comes to trying to achieve our relationship goals. 

  • Realistic Dating Guide for an  Expat in China- Daygame life in Second Tier Cities – Changsha, Wuhan , Yunnan Province Guide : 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    I spent a while day gaming in several cities in China back in 2019 – I later revisited the Country in 2024 (not for daygame as I was in relationship by that time ) but went to practice my Chinese and check out how the country had faired post lockdown to see if it was still a decent place to meet new women and expand dating horizons in 2024 – keeping into account some factors like rent price, infrastructure , quality of women , education of women in said cities and the quality of dating venues available .

    Advantages of gaming in a Second Tier City Chinese City: 

    Cheap Rent-  Compared to major Chinese cities like Guangzhou , Shanghai , Shenzen – The rent and hotel costs in second tier cities like Changsha and Kunming are pale , especially in comparison to western cities in the US and UK.  This makes setting logistics easy – also as per my experiences in 2019 day hotels can be easily rented at around £10-20 for 4 hours. Looking at hotel prices certain ones do special deals for month to month rent for example Fraser Suites Changsha offer £600 a month rent to stay there (four star hotel), which comes with a gym and pool . However you can get cheaper branded hotels that range from £400-500 a month rent.

    Large footfall- most b tier cities in the UK and France for example Montpellier (France) or Cambridge (UK) have very low footfall and not many new faces arriving on a weekly basis relative to China, major Chinese cities are usually densely populated which means you can approach a lot of new people easily and won’t have to worry about running into the same people over and over again akin to the “b tier” European cities . 

    Typical Footflow in Changsha – China on a weekday night

    Tourist sites attract a lot of people from other cities-  Places like Dali – In Yunnan region of China attract a huge amount of tourists from other other cities on an almost weekly basis a lot of the times from neighbouring countries like Malaysia, Singapore , Thailand – this ensures fresh foot flow and means you won’t get bored with the same faces. 

    5 Dollar Soufflé in a mall in Wuhan

    Restaurants and Coffee shops are cheaper Relative to the west :  Restaurants costs a fraction of the price they do in the UK and US with no service charge , coffees and alcoholic are also generally cheaper too over 20-30 dates you’ll find yourself saving money over time relative to dating in the west .It also makes doing a variety of things with the women you date without breaking the bank.  Apps like Mei Tuan and Dianping App can be used to score good deals on food and drink in every major city on everything from breakfast, lunch , dinner, coffee, wine and cocktails.

    View from £600 a month Fraser Suites in Changsha, Includes Swimming Pool and Decent Gym

    Cheap as fuck Taxis:  Using the Didi app you’re able to book cheap taxis that often come to no more than 10-20 RMB a ride, relative to how much I spend on public transport and train alone in London which is roughly 160 RMB a day – you gotta take around 8 10 minute taxis in Kunming or changsha in one day to reach my average daily public transport expenditure in London. It also makes leading the dates easier and you can do faster bounces from place to place or if you are moving towards sex you can bring her back more efficiently when her buying temperature is highest. 

    Low Competition:  Usually in second tier cities in China there are less rich and attractive men, plus you usually get more men with confidence issues in Asian countries typically – this means less competition and more likelihood in people treating you well so long as you have half decent SMV.  Compared to Western Europe/ the States , London , Paris , the competition is minimal here by comparison . When I gamed here in 2019 I found it far easier to maintain the frame on dates and overall felt better respected by the women I was dating. The low income of men here means that they do a lot less interesting things with their life so their SMV development is likely to be stunted compared to yours , also noticeability the men usually have worse career prospects in second tier cities, usually unimpressive physiques compared to western men and are on average a lot shorter. Overall the expectations are lower when doing daygame in these cities.  

    Large Varieties of Things to do –  Lots of coffee shops and bars make it easier to lead on dates and create interesting adventures, its also easier to find dating spots that aren’t overcrowded due to the excessive choice available on apps like Mei Tuan.

    £6 Beef cheek risotto at an Italian Restaurant in Changsha

    Cheap Gyms- Often times gyms offer £1 free day passes or cheap monthly passes of £10-20 making SMV and appearance easy to maintain here- gym prices can be as much as 20-30 percent the price of a London gym and are more often than not empty due to the lack of gym culture in China.

    Disadvantages in Gaming in Second Tier Cities 

    Sometimes you can run into boring / “overly simplistic” women : Due to the low wages here women tend to travel less and do less interesting things with their lives this may lead to potential boring conversations or stalled interactions . 

    Language Barrier problems- usually the poorer the city the worse English you will experience from the women you approach and interact with . This goes for any Non-English city you do daygame in typically . It maybe recommend to learn some Chinese before gaming IN a second tier Chinese city- for example someone in a rich city LIKE  Guangzhou or Shenzen will most likely have better English ability than someone living somewhere where the economy and school quality is relatively shitty like Kunming or Changsha . This again might lead to stalled interactions – so at worse  be prepared with google translate – at best you could learn some Chinese before you do game here.

    Food Options can be a bit suspect: if you’re like me and take you health and nutrition seriously it maybe kinda tough in a second tier city as most restaurants usually import their beef from Brazil or Argentina which can be frozen for many months leaving beef that has an awkward texture – every time I ate steak out in these cities it was rough and weird. This problem might be solved by downloading the TaoBao app of which you can buy Australian beef or Grass fed organic protein powders from . 

    Limited Race options: If you don’t like Asian women then second tier Chinese cities probably aren’t the one for variety- if you want more variety in terms of race you are better off gaming in Hong Kong, Shanghai ,Beijing or somewhere of that sort. You may meet a variety of different Asian from Chinese , Malays, Singaporeans , Hong Kongers etc. but if you want anything non Asian then second tier Chinese cities aren’t the one really . 

    Good Apps to Download before your daygame trip : 

    MetiTuan App: Great App to download which gives you discounts on food and coffee shops – google is blocked in china so chances are it won’t keep you up to date with modern date locations the same way Mei Tuan app will. 

    DianPing App : Another App similar to Meituan which offers good decent date selections and discounts on coffee shops and bars. A must to download if you plan on staying in China long term. 

    Typical 20 dollar a month gym in Wuhan, most gyms have 1 dollar trials or group day passes that can be purchased on DianPing app or MeiTuan app.

    TaoBao:  best app for ordering western products- sometime these are sold at a premium but if you wanna get some Aussie meat and some organic protein powder delivered to you it an’t bad to have. 

    trip.com/ Agoda / booking.com: Different apps are pretty much better for different areas for example Dali the best value hotels are found on trip.com rather than agoda – Agoda usually can have the better last minute deals sometimes though – its best evaluating each independent city on the three different apps first before making a booking. Not all hotels are listed on these three major apps- some have exclusivity deals with a specific website.

    WeChat :  Pretty much essential as not all Chinese women have instagram or Facebook . Make sure you download this and use the social media guide here:  https://mindful-masculinity.org/2020/10/18/the-complete-instagram-and-social-media-guide-for-dating-and-relationships/ even if youre not planning on gaming in China it’s still a good app to use if you plan on approaching Asian women in general as the majority of Chinese, Hong Kongers, Taiwanese , Malays do utilise the app. Make sure you have good quality photos on there to reduce your likelihood of flakes.

    M Stand Coffee Shop chain located pretty much in every major city- great place to take a woman on a first date.

    Good Places to Game in China : 

    I covered some places in my previous guide – here:  but these are some new “gems” i’ve found on recent travels

    Typical coffee shop date location in Wuhan , found on the MeiTuan app

    Wuhan – I know I know its got a bad vibe because of virus situation but here be out its actually got decent quality women and a variety of good European architecture, modern galleries and student areas  like Li Huangbei Road is popular with university students so its a great place to meet young and ambitious women.  

    Li Huangbei Road in Wuhan Is full of Students every weekend

    Changsha: Heavily polluted relative to the other cities although that could’ve just been the time I was there they were doing a tonne of coal burning but logistically cheap place to live and packed full of malls and some decent historical sites to visit – I recommend staying at Fraser Suites Changsha which comes to £600 a month. The main Draw for Changsha is it’s malls which have good foot-flow plus loads of good restaurants that can be found on Mei Tuan.

    View from a £25 a night hotel in Dali- Yunnan

    Kunming– Quality and infrastructure wise may not rival that of the likes of Shanghai and Chengdu but it’s still a very cheap city to live in with a decent student population plus a lot of tourists visiting from other provinces . Logistically it can make for a decent base to other nearby countries like Cambodia , Thailand and Myanmar. 

    Dali- Yunnan on a weekday packed full of students.

    Dali :The best daygame city in Yunnan province and probably my favourite place to meet people in Yunnan- huge tourist inflows and generally a pollution free city with a great vibe plus cheap accommodation relative to Europe and the USA make it the perfect place to meet women .  It’s also very easy to get around and a dense land mass to cover so you will never run out of things to do during your time there. Great sunlight and clean air make it an awesome place for the health conscious too.

  • Exploring PUA’s modern Day Divide between Conservatives and Liberal political thought 

    Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai  or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value.

    Things have changed a fair amount in the last 8 years from when I was learning about PUA . In the beginning my thought process was somewhat simple doing night game and day-game.  I learnt the bulk of my night game in 2014 originally from Simple Pickup seeing such average guys picking up hot women blew my mind. But it wasn’t until 2017 that I started really day gaming and meeting women during the day and until 2018 that I got my first significant day-game lays that really impacted my life and I began to meet and network with wingmen that would significantly improve my life and my way of thinking. But after observing the manosphere in the past 8 years there’s been a significant movement towards conservative/religious thought processes and ideologies most notably from 21 Convention, the rise of  , men’s self development and people who meet on forums discussing theory but with little basis for anything else. The rise of conservative/religious dating thought processes with men’s lifestyle coaches like Tanner Guzy, Rollo Tommas, Elliot Hulse and coaches that aim to reinstall traditional conservative values in the dating world made me feel is the community more divided than ever? 

    I still post on Pua forums, why ? Because I like to give back, I like to provide free information to people and help them because there were coaches that did the same for me. Said coaches have now dropped out of the game, many have deleted their content (Liam Mcrae being one of them)  my instagram and social media guide for example which gained some praise by others was heavily influenced by Liam’s teachings – in fact I doubt I’d even be able to write the guide without his influence (Liam is now retired and has married a model) . So for these people I owe them a hell of a lot and Im  forever grateful for the hard work they entailed to make me who I am . I probably owe all my day-game lays and the loss of my virginity to a combination of TNL, 21 Convention, Simple Pickup, Tom Torero and Nick Krausser – without the hard  work of these collective coaches releasing content  I don’t know where I’d be . 

    These viewpoints  on dating now are varied- even Anthony Dream Johnson the CEO of the 21 convention has seemingly changed his tune- Tom Torero’s being an extreme thought that LTRs were near impossible to maintain – given his divorce prior to getting into pickup it seems understandable – in the year leading up to his death he seemingly lamented LTRs of all kinds.  

     Tanner Guzy and  other newer 21 convention coaches  stated that hook up culture is something men need to grow out of in favour of more noble pursuits something which alot of the 21 convention coaches like Arthur Kwon Lee , Jesse Lee Peterson to name a few believe in. Then you have black pilled viewpoints inspired partly by Rollo Tomassi’s work and a new generation of men who are giving up on relationships, some could be seen as incels, others that are frustrated by the lack of loyalty and compassion shown by the opposite sex and some who are simply too far away from competing in the sexual market place. 

    Dating , the sexual market economy to be precise has always fascinated me to a point where it became my passion. I love discussing these things, but nowadays the tide has turned away from the player lifestyle to the conservative reconstruction from the nuclear family. None more than I noticed this than from 21 convention, who’s early speeches and content between 2011-2014 radically changed my dating life. Now a new generation of self help speakers have emerged one that want to reinstate patriarchy and the nuclear family.  Is this even possible? I argue fuck no. We are in too deep now whichever way you look at it men have an uphill challenge and that hill is turning steeper and steeper as time passes. 

    Men of the west complain that women have it too easy. They just need to be fertile, they can take cocks left right and centre. Well in any major European city, US or Canada I don’t really see any reason why any girl a 5/10 or above should be single, in fact I’d argue that the sexual market is just easy for women, any 5 could edit photos of themselves and make themselves into a 7/8 of 10 and match with 1000s of people world wide and get flown out and have shit paid for. It’s the sexual economy we live in now. We need to make do, our brains were never ever EVER meant for this much sexual abundance than before. Even a female 3 probably has more choice online than a male 10 . So what happens for society now? What are the conservatives actually expecting that women will give away their desire to move up the sexual market place and hold their virginities ? And then what – for them to just stand there and for some conservative religious man to approach them and for her to give himself up to her? The entire principle of slut shaming could argue to make no sense because it offers no realistic solutions for solving the dating problem for women and requires them to be self sacrifice for the low probability outcome that a similar conservative man will come out of no where and just marry her off the bat even if he with holds sex and acts religious – in my eyes some women can lose options to more sexual liberated women purely from withholding sex from men – a lot of men dont like this and complain constantly on forums when women give “lmr” or string them along. So its a essentially a catch 22 situation between conservative women and men in this occasion.

    Not only is it extremely unlikely, it’s really a pipe dream especially when the bulk of conservative political thought is based on the premise that humans will naturally and instinctively thrive for more and will want to do so and so should be given the freedom to do so.  So if women want better and better cock the liberal view is they should be allowed to have infinite sexual partners in the name of feminise and show off their breasts on tik Tok to their hearts content and settle when they so please – the conservative viewpoint would dictate that natural greed and the lust to maximise profit too will be for-filled by human’s and more often than not at the determent of society or mid-low value men .

    For women the right male can be the difference between a life of ease and luxury and a life of extreme poverty. Women are opportunistic lovers and men shouldn’t let their delusion to marry or have LTRs get in the way of simple facts that are at the core of human evolution . So when you see manosphere coaches like Tanner Guzy and Elliot Hulse trying to save the nuclear family by sacrificing themselves dating below par women and telling people to get married young . They are pretty much enticing young men to gamble their lives and futures in the hope that the women they’re dating just happen to be loyal in the long term to them. Is this worth it for the modern man to quit hookup culture and create a nuclear family? I’d argue most probably not. 

    The problem with the new gen  “Manosphere” coaches  of the 21 Convention 

    • A lack of Respect of the slow maturity of men in the sexual market place.  Encouraging men to date and marry early may mean that men sell themselves short. In fact I’d argue that most men in major western cities sell themselves short nearly all of the time. Even these self help junkies who preach men should focus on their value , I think this is  a 40-50 percent truth men should focus on where in the world they go to maximise their value just like women do. Theres a reason why Russian models absorb cock in New York and London and have Saudi men flying them out for weekends in Riyadh . There’s a reason that I – despite having 0 online lays living in London  prior to living in South America I  was able to bang a Brazilian model in Belo Horizonte from tinder. Men need to think of this first before thinking about marrying just any old western girl – they need to place themselves in position of strength where they will be respected the most, and I think most men are not cognisant of the fact that the grass is indeed greener on the other side and this new generation of manosphere coaches should be pointing men in the same directions that old school pickup coaches like Tom Torereo and Nick Krauser were – the idea of create options and experience to be able to properly differentiate between good quality women who can make good wives or not.  
    • A sheer lack of understanding and warning about just how much power women in the sexual market place have –  Yes-men mature slow as fuck and the sooner men realise this the more they realise that “getting married young” and marrying for religions sake is a bad strategy to curtail.  Men need to build their value, enjoy the experiences of the lows and highs of the sexual market place and work hard to find wingmen and create a community where their dating life can flourish. This takes time, and more often than not experience will be the best teacher. Conservative view points on relationships and sex really don’t serve men as men’s value increases much later on in their lives in their 30s and 40s. Simply praying to god or marrying the first girl they date doesn’t change these facts. 
    • Trying to restore old beliefs and thoughts that will simply not stack up to the modern day world.  You’re not going to stop tinder, instagram ,online dating and Tik Tok  now these addictive apps aren’t going anywhere if anything women now are being infiltrated by them more and more. The women who hustles at the local coffee shop night and day no longer has to they can open up only fans and live off the monthly yield from that from showing a few pictures of their breasts.  To ask women to sacrifice these benefits for the greater good of humanity is wishful thinking and the growing popularity of only fans, Tik Tok and instagram is proof of this.  The internet , porn  has made men weak and socially retarded for the most part that they are stuck in a rut giving into these women . Thinking simply a conservative viewpoint on marriage and politicising conservative beliefs will change the fact that men are too dopamine-hooked on porn and only fans to care and that women are too fucked on the addictiveness of instagram shows that simply political ideology on the “Right way of doing things” can’t fix an addicted – Tik Tok brain dead generation. 

    But where do Liberals Go from here? 

    Do we just have boundless sex with no accountability? Do we just wait forever to fuck and never move on from hookup culture. It’s a fair problem that liberals have which I believe conservatives do make a decent point of view. The questions is when? And the answer to that is I have no idea , when men cash out of the sexual market place and bring children in the world it’s a risk whether it be from the first person they date to the last but for a lot of men in the west now having seen other men suffering in LTRs and marriage the appeal is becoming less and less whatever the current conservative viewpoint of the manosphere has. All in all I believe this is bad for the nuclear family, for stability from children’s lives and for people in marriages the stresses and pressures are at an all time high and should women want to leave these situations they will most likely have the kids and a swathe of needy men at their disposable. 

    Theres simply too many options for women in todays world and the effects of boundless sexual partners will take its toll on both genders to some degree . I don’t believe boundless fuckboys are at the heart of a lot fo women’s sexual strategy though I do believe a lot of women do want a nuclear family, kids etc. But with the way hookup culture is nowadays this will be delayed due to the fuckboys , the fast pace of the world with people changing their careers and moving about constantly , attention from around the world in a global sexual market place. The end goal will take time for both genders and will likely be just given in is a better situation rather than being alone rather than something which someone truly wants. There’s a definitive right way to do relationships anymore, the overstimulating environment has made loyalty a sign of neglect or neediness and has made constant hookups something to be praised and a sign of continuing confidence. Is this the right way of doing things? It’s really hard to give a firm answer . On the one hand I’m glad for hook up culture- It was about the 7th girl I slept with which I really dated someone that I connected with. With the ultra conservative view points of dating I had failed, it was clear the first few women I dated weren’t suitable for marriage longterm regardless of what my religious or political ideology was – it took be a lot of daygame approaches and trail and error to reach the stage where I would find anyone remotely suitable and I had found more fulfilment in my relationships than before hand thanks to the numerous sexual partners that I’d had (still lower than most in the Pua community but higher than the UK average for men) . But too much devaluing of one other during the dating process- something which I believe online dating  in particular creates can lead to no real feeling of accomplishment or enjoyment in the situation- this is further solidified by the  fall In the share price of bumble – men are leaving the app in droves – it doesn’t even play to women’s instinct of seeking out leadership quality in a man that can approach them it also doesn’t play into their  love of genuine “Romantic love” . Then again people might say Im just being jealous and bitter  – jealous and bitter that I’m not in the top one percent of men and that if I was and was getting loads of matches that id be more positive on the effects of online dating – and that might be it?  Of course there are a lot of women and men that enjoy the online dating game and really relish the benefits from it but alas even as someone who has gotten laid from it – I believe its been an overall negative for men’s dating and self development and one which makes “conservative” or religious theories on dating even more adequate in the modern day. 

    With every relationship there will always be risks. You could in the worst case scenario be dating someone who’s just a psychopath and find out in the third  year of dating them. You could marry the first person you dated at school and found out despite it being what your religion and parents  wanted you to do that it ended up being the wrong thing to do . The possibilities and combinations in dating are endless and unpredictable which I’ve addressed in my previous blogs and are something that we just gotta deal with in the long term because well this is life. The hopes and dreams of the conservative nuclear family coming back when tik Tok addiction, instagram, onlyfans are still prominent is just unlikely and the odds of liberal hookup culture and rising divorce rates being an appropriate situation to raise kids is not something I personally think is optimal and I was very lucky that my mother and father stayed together until my father passed. I wouldn’t have been happy to see either with another partner and im glad they stayed loyal to one another  . 

    Even the Coaches that say marriage is right are getting divorced 

    Tanner Guzy did several 21 Convention speeches emphasising the importance of marriage before eventually filing for divorce with his wife 3 years after.

    The divorce of men’s self development coach Tanner Guzy proved to me 2 things- 1. influencers aren’t worth following because they paint a picture of an ideal in life that they’re most likely not achieving – Tanner had some 7 kids and was deeply religious I fully believe that his attachment to religion had created a lot of problems and was probably the core reason as to why he even got a divorce in the first place- this religious delusion had led him to have a seemingly kid after kid with his ex wife- he had a total of  7 and seemingly the workload drove his wife into insanity 2. When religion overtakes rational thought one then really starts potentially having problems with constructing a family and picking an adequte partner and that was the case with Tanner . In fact this was his second divorce- a man of God who seemingly credited religion to his success seemed to refuse to acknowledge that marriage may not be sustainable in the modern world with his own two divorces perhaps being evident of this.

    And are these marriage coaches even dating anyone that’s attractive- Jesse Lee Peterson , Tanner Guzy, Richard Cooper, Elliot Hulse all religious mansophere coaches yet don’t seem to be doing much impressive in their dating lives. Conservatism seems to be failing and lets not forget Jordan Peterson’s daughter Mikhaila Peterson fucked Andrew Tate and  divorced his husband and is now onto her second marriage. 

    Mystery also filed for divorced with his wife and subsequently lost custody of his children.

    Conservatives Seemingly ignore their own bias  or ignore the overstimulated world we live in that have given women endless options in the sexual marketplace. It’s a problem of gurus today that they seemingly ignore their own hypocrisies or refuse to be self aware of them to say the least – the result?  Hypocrisy or at least a failure to acknowledge their blatant insufficiencies while plugging ideas that simply don’t work in the real world. Had Tanner held out and maybe married a better woman who wouldn’t simply divorce him after 7 kids – or if Mikhaila Peterson had worked on her first marriage properly and not divorced maybe these conservatives won’t seem so moronic – but alas here we are in an era that seemingly doesn’t make much sense . 

    Concluding thoughts 

    The whole debate between political conservatives and liberals in the manosphere has been over done. One that seemingly blew up with the rise  f figures like Rollo Tomassi and Jordan Peterson.  With the impending change in the direction of the manosphere, the rise of the red pill ,the value of conservative thought has certainly been on the rise the last 5-10 years. Whether or not its made a dent on female behaviour itself is debatable.  

    If liberals really think that high body counts and boundless sex lead to a secure environment for humanity to thrive then they’re just being deluded but I have a similar thought with conservatives who think that being loyal to god and self sacrifice alone will provide good security in relationships. You see a lot of men being scammed with Thai wives abroad as one example – loyal honest men getting used for a passport in a similar style to what happened to my brother when he married a Russian woman online . Do divorces like Tanner Guzy’s show what happens when hard work and persistence    come together  and even then it can’t guarantee relationship success . Im all for conservative values of the nuclear family but at the same I don’t want to see my fellow men getting scammed in a relationship and taken to the cleaners in divorce court- why must men gamble with commitment today when they stand to lose so much in divorce? God an’t gonna save you if you lose custody of the kids and he an’t gonna save you if you lose half your shit in divorce that’s for certain. 

    So where am I going with this?

    I don’t know – I want men to increase their chances of winning in relationships that’s why I write this blog – but relationships have consequences , a lot of the time they are positive (LTRS where men get actual benefits, experience of real life interactions and sex being two big positives )  but sometimes they can be negative (divorce, cheating , trauma etc.) Every approach has a risk – be it humiliation in a blow out, the negative effects of being rejected etc. But we do it anyway because the potential wins out way the loses. Men must be rational – never jump into marriages with financial commitment and must create options for themselves-  creating that relationship security for a family now will take longer than ever – but with perseverance  and hard work   I feel some high value men have a good shot at it . 

Mindful Masculinity

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