Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach – Im purely writing this blog as my own perspectives and that’s about it . I am available for networking though in London, France (Nice) , US (Dallas and California) are the areas where I commonly am. For email networking please email darrenpua1@gmail.com
Do men really have “more time than Women” analysing and assessing the myth that men have more time than women.
Ok so I was having a bit of a debate with myself the other day after watching a 21 convention video boasting that “men have loads of time to date , women have a limited time when they are high SMV that will diminish with time. Whilst I believe it’s true that men have longer to cash in on the sexual market I don’t believe its as easy as saying we have an advantage long term. Our sexual market value most certainly goes up longterm starting from a smaller base whilst women’s increase early on between their 18-25s then diminishes as they age. Whilst this has been the subject of much arrogance from the black pill and red pill I decided to write this piece to emphasise that whilst I agree with the core point that women over a long period tend to decline faster I don’t necessarily feel that the extra time that men garner is actually a massive advantage at all seeing as men have much greater time expenses than women in terms of improving sexual market value, maintaining it and further improving it. Once you add up and take into account all these factors I still believe fertile/attractive women still hold the bulk of the cards and advantages in terms of sexual market value . The objective of this article isn’t to inspire some sort of negativity or doom or gloom . The aim of this article itself is to provide men with the necessary inspiration to start approaching and go out there and meet as many people as possible because time is of the essence regardless of what your potential is or what you have now. It’s also there to prevent over-complacency by men in the sexual market place something which the “red pill craze” maybe responsible for.
Time Spent dating/Approaching
Men’s time expense on dating is infinitely higher , factoring in all the approaching men have to do that’s a huge time expense in of itself, women will spend next to 0 time actively approaching men proactively where as the average man will need to approach and date thus expending hundreds of hours in order to have a chance to date out of their league in retrospect women merely have to download an app to have access to a pool of 1000s of potential suitors. So the time expense is still on men really, regardless of their SMV as a male 10 will not out match a female 1 on an online dating app and if you as a man really want to get what you desire you’re going to have to spend some time approaching to get your ideal type. Of course the amount of rejections, LMR and bad dates should go down as your skillset improves. But even the highest value of Puas out there will always face rejection regardless . This makes dating all in all a bigger time expense for men and will always be so. As technological advances will really only benefit the top 1-2 percent of men but will intern benefit almost all value of women far greater. The bottom “90 percent” of men will therefore need to ramp up the approaches to increase their options as a result of these technological advances and these women who have more options online may not be as receptive to cold approach anymore.
Men’s Health Will Deteriorate :
Ok , men’s sexual prime will be an older age than a woman’s maybe around the 30-40s mark but age catches up with us all- even the best athletes in the world have to give up their respective sports due to age. So Im not here saying that men have all the time in the world and that they can keep competing in the sexual market forever – far from it. There are a lot of factors out there that can destroy a man’s testosterone , Im not going to go all in on them this time round. But factors such as blue light, poor diet, screen addiction, porn addiction can slowly hinder men’s health and make them miss out on opportunities in the sexual market place.
Of course men can put off these issues by doing what needs to be done to maintain their health: eating healthy, going to the gym , getting their supplementation right , giving up alcohol -junk food etc. Can all contribute towards maintaining a man’s smv but anyway as men go past 30 usually testosterone declines and this needs to be something that men need to address. Do they want to be fucking in their prime of life ? How sexually active will they be capable of having the energy to run multiple approaches each day in line with their job , whilst doing gym etc. It’s important to understand as a man your peak will not last forever and that you need to start doing approaches as soon as possible and increasing your options. Time is of the essence for both genders , just because women more often than not decline earlier doesn’t mean that men won’t face some sort of decline too eventually . All be it biohacks, giving up alcohol , investing in good quality nutrition can all help fight against this decline in smv but its by no means a guarantee .
Men need to spend time finding “Marriage Material” : Look it takes time to find marriage material, I think in the last 50 girls I’ve dated I’ve only seen around 2-3 marriage material girls, for men it’s tough to find these women and they are a dime in a dozen. If you’re serious about having kids and finding the ideal partner you need to have discipline running through you in terms of approaching and dating and this takes fuck loads of time. It’s not easy of course but its the only way to combat this issue.
Also finding out of a person’s habits take an enormous amount of time too. You don’t want a girl that’s just good at sex but you want to really know what happens when the going gets tough and you’re up against it and to find reliable people takes time. You also need to factor in time you meet psychopathic women and potential betrayals that need to be factored in there maybe a bunch of women you date that don’t have the exact longterm or short-term vision as you. Finding a woman who’s visions you align with alone is very tough and time consuming whether you like it or not .
Just because someone is hot and likes you or someone is good at sex with you doesn’t make them marriage material or LTR worthy. Most men think with their dick. You should try your damned hardest not to or else this could have ramifications at a later date. In terms of my personal life I’ve seen the consequences of this in terms of analysing both my older brother’s relationships. Both fell for women who were with them for their money and status . My eldest only found out after they were 10 years into the relationship and she cheated on him. My eldest suffered from scarcity in his dating life, despite being an accomplished , good looking and wealthy individual he didn’t spend the time to really analyse who he was dating he just jumped in and married the first girl that was into him. This had huge consequences and ramifications for both him and my family – consequences that we deal with today. So I beg you guys that are reading please take time to really analyse who you date because if you pick the wrong person it does have consequences please take your time and work hard.
Men’s Young Years have the potential to be filled with Loneliness which leaves them with a huge gap to fill: Men’s youth is a crack pit. Mine sucked and I was as privileged as one could be. For starters I went to a private school , you’d think this would give me some edge in my life in reality I was pitted against some of the highest sexual market value men in south London and my main interests were jerking off and playing FIFA. I had zero hobbies, interests or skills and had no self confidence. My parents had a $600k apartment in South of France so I spent all of my youth in Cannes /Nice (the French city not the adjective) area, still 0 dates, 0 lays, 0 approaches despite being privileged with money. Even men who have some relative SMV to start with may find themselves with little to show for it. In comparison my year group’s hottest girl was being porked by a guy who was two years above me, who was a future Oxford Graduate and the son of Russian billionaire. Tough market for me , who’s most impressive accomplishment at that age would’ve been my 6th wank during a call of duty session. Hardly anything to attract any girl and the lack of interest from any single girl up until I was aged 17 grew massive amounts of loneliness into my life that started to harm my education and my day to day perspective on everything . This then grew into a pornography and gaming addiction along with low grades. I effectively wasted my high school due to excessive loneliness which in hindsight most probably couldn’t have been fixed because the pool of women was so low relative to the high quality of men in my private school that the statistical probability of any of these women not liking me was high .
Now I’m not saying every Pua or person in the dating sphere is going to have such a horrendous streak as mine. Im saying the Matthew effect could come into play where a dry streak at a young age spirals and creates low confidence and self esteem at a later date. ‘Getting over this” Could serve as problematic too some men enter a dating slump and never get out of it. They never cold approach they remain their entire lives at the mercy of algorithms on dating apps or the city they’re in or just hope that they go to the bar and the right horny girl comes up to them. These are unsustainable solutions to the problem men face in my opinion but they are the solutions that men use.
Men’s Careers , Goals and Objectives can eat in time finding a mate
Men Need to invest more time to build a social circle: Whilst women can buy themselves into a social circle with tits and ass men need to contribute more than just their looks in order to get into a decent social circle. A male 10 is still going to have a far tougher time building friendships and networking opportunities than a female 10 especially at a young age. Take an 18-21 year old male 10 and compare him to the opportunities a female 18-21 year old ten will have the differences are absolutely night and day. Men need to prove so much more in order to get into a social circle whereas fertile women will basically be given free rein on where they wish entirely due to their fertility .
Even from a Pua and dating perspective if you want better wingmen you’re going to have to put yourself out there. That’s going to take time, the amount of time you will spend with failed wingmen and social circles also needs to be taken into account too. For me personally the first 5-6 wingmen I had didn’t match with my vibe and I had to spend the first 6-8 months of my day-game career switching from wing to wing.
Men need to Invest more time on self improvement on dates to prove themselves to women: Of course once women sprout huge tits they’ll have people dming to fly them out , famous people after them and so and so forth. For men our value proposition especially when we are young is extremely sparse in comparison to women. Different men obviously need to spend different amounts of time to improve themselves. For some men this could involve spending a large period of time to improve themselves to reach the necessary mates they desire. For example if you’re broke then dating in an expensive city like London or New York will be incredibly stressful as dating here will obviously cost a considerable amount of money so men in a position of financial difficulty may want to spend some time building up their income first before committing to daytime in a expensive city. These men might just want to go to cities were finances aren’t as important places like China Vietnam or Latin America where the competition of men is considerably poorer and economically not well off.
Even well off men do need to develop some form of personality, vibe , social skills and work ethic in terms of dating. It can take time to develop sexual market value and dynamism and requires a lot of hard work and patience. For me when I started day-game my inexperience at life in general was a big thing for me . I found it hard to maintain conversation with people especially those from different cultures to mine . Growing up in London and spending the bulk of my time in the UK ,France or America it was very difficult for me to converse well with women from Asia for example because I had no experience living in those countries . For me I needed time to read books, acquire languages / something so I could build rapport with said women and that took time. There was no “rapid escalation” blueprint sometimes SMV is a necessity to build trust with women.
Opportunities to take advantage of SMV for men may dwindle with time: For men even being top of the game and the highest value -we are all getting older, our bodies will deteriorate through time and we don’t have forever. Combine this with the decision fatigue when you’re dating a lot of women and it can be hard to settle down and build a family. The lesson to be learnt from this? The younger you are the better to start to commit to dating people regularly. Things take time and there will be one day which you yourself are out of time. Make sure you work hard and persist early on so you don’t have regrets later on.
When is it too late though? For both men and women the brutal reality is we can’t be top of the game forever. There may come a time when our value diminishes and we can’t attract premium partners. We need to keep this in mind going forward or else some opportunities maybe gone forever . For me personally the black pill and red pill makes men prone to thinking they have all the time in the world , that one day women are over the hill their value is gone forever but men’s maintains . While I believe this is true In theory I also believe that there comes a time when men will stagnate and diminish too and they need to be aware of this if they’re procrastinating on their dating goals.
Mindful Masculinity 