Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
Richard Cooper steam rolled to success with 750k YouTube subscribers between 2017 and now – His book the unplugged alpha was lauded with popular ratings on amazon but is this book really something that can be positive for men’s dating life? And has he milked huge popularity despite not being actually good at dating in-spite of his 750k subscriber count there’s no infield of him , no proof he’s dated even a 7 from pickup and there doesn’t seem to be much innovation about the things he talks about.
Divorce Coaching Grift?
Richard seemingly charges $997 for a 15 minute phone call – has his divorce coach and divorce meet-up group which he charges an annual fee for – the man is milking other men who seem desperate for relationship guidance with himself someone who dated 2 single mothers in a row and had LTRs with them also . His success in dating seems almost non existent- you’re better off reading a Tom Torero book and just going out doing a few approaches then buying any of this crap.
Now you have to be some what retarded and have poor relationship management and approaching skills to date with 2 single mothers and have one shitty divorce. As far as relationship success goes I put him way below those of Tom Torero, Liam Mcrae, James Marshall , Simple Pickup and heck even poorly dressed Sasha Daygame trumps this guy .
In terms of innovative thought most of his videos seem inspired the Rational Male rather than any of Richard Cooper’s unique dating perspectives- Most seem to be some alpha regurgitation of red pill/Self Improvement lingo. Again problematic – Richard doesn’t seem to have any real fixes for people’s dating life other than Alpha lingo and driving a car 68 miles in the 60 zone.
My Problems with Richard Cooper’s 21 Convention Speech Entitled ” Be Better” :
Just reads as bullshit self-help to being with “take action” where have we heard that one ? “No body owes you shit” Woo! At 18:11 he calls about entrepreneurs and bullshit guys who sell products online- bit rich coming from someone who seemingly has no really entrepreneurship experience, no dating/daygame success yet now charging $1000 for a coaching call. “ Take a look of the real results they actually get out of life” well take a look at Richard Cooper’s real results with women- 2 single mothers dated, one divorces- I can’t think of worse results than that. I’d rather be Yad running around Oxford street than have the relationships Richard Cooper was in. How has someone like this got 800k subs yet someone who 10,000s of cold approaches in Nick Krauser got 5k subs and James Marshall got 350k subs . Again im overvaluing the daygame.com coaches here a fair bit obviously but its just hilarious how someone who’s achieved so little in dating can be so boastful about so little that he’s done .
“You only have so many fucks to give , choose them wisely” I mean this again isn’t innovative – it’s just a “manly man” way of saying avoid decision fatigue. Richard then gives a list of LTRs to avoid including those who are “drug and alcohol dependent ” again pretty obvious , again this is just all obvious self help bs that may seem profound but lacks real innovation coming form someone who has achieved so little in the dating world against the previous 21 convention speakers.
His next piece showing that “unicorns don’t exist” seems ironic given that he himself doesn’t have much proof of successful LTRs – there are examples of good marriages and dating coaches that have had good LTRs , Robbie Kramer, Liam Mcrae and Paul Janka are three good examples of this and they’ve had legitimate dating success . Seems that Richard is taking his own frustration of relationship failures and making broad based self help quotes and conclusions that don’t even make sense if you’ve had some daygame experience.
Guys being cucked into paying large amount for Richard Cooper’s courses:
As mentioned before Richard seems to be shilling a divorce course at roughly $500 a piece and a patreon ,a book and various other products. It appears he’s taking full advantage on cashing in on men who’ve made similar relationship mistakes to that of him but the whole thing is pretty odd seeing as he has achieved so little in relationships and dating and yet- is making money now selling “red pill” products. Mix that in with a bit of Red Pill alpha male sayings and you have a recipe for a lot of hot air. Why is this guy a coach? what has he achieved? Did he just milk the bull run that was Rollo Tommasi’s red pill? It seems so . But what of the men who actually buy his shit- his patreon group has 150 subscribers – there are literally 150 people out there that will pay money from someone for dating advice off someone who’s dated two single mum’s . Its an unreal situation which doesn’t make sense. Richard has also pivoted to Crypto courses too (somewhat unsurprisingly seeing as all his business ventures seem to just be taking advantage of certain fads rather than showing any progress of his own in the dating world.) The classic “monthly subscription” course selling that so many contrapreneurs endeavour , patreon , crypto courses you name it Richard seemingly is involved.
His last chapter goes into TRT therapy which can really fuck you up if done wrong. It seems once again misguided that someone won’t offer natural solutions to testosterone problems like sunlight, switching diet or eating oysters instead Richard goes full blown on recommending TRT which seems extreme for the majority of the audience.
150 men seemingly pay $150 a month to learn from Richard – a guy with seemingly 0 dating skills
Single Mum HeavenMonetised from Naive followers?
The issue with the book from chapter 6 for an “alpha male” book there is so little success here- Richard seemingly dates 2 single mum’s falls for one, gets cheated on then ends up in another relationship with a 40 year old – hardly much to brag about in terms of successes . In fact i’d argue being in no relationship would be better than any of this shit. The fact that he’s managed to monetise this into 200 million views and 750k youtube subs is pretty unreal all things considered . Once again when I compare this to other legitimate dating coaches out there when you take into account the likes of James Marshall have 350k and Tom Torero had 80k before his channel got taken down Richard has seemingly done better to monetise his non existent skillset and seemingly not even getting a single daygame lay .
Chase Excellence not Women
I mean this another horrible piece of advice- for men being proactive about problems is VITAL . Spending too much time on self development can deter dating success. For me personally i achieved my best dating success from being proactive , consistent and approaching regularly. These aren’t things that Richard promotes in his book and I feel he is doing his followers a massive disservice here and instead results to plugging vague self help statements continually throughout his book and speeches- once you scratch beneath the surface there’s very little there
Selling Divorce Courses on his own website Richard Cooper appears to be cashing in on men’s misery
Concluding Thoughts:
In many ways the rise of Richard Cooper has personified everything wrong with the current world of self help- instead of being an actual accomplished individual in dating he has been a monumental failure and he has seemingly taken advantage of the rise of the red pill to cash in on suspecting males who don’t seemingly know better. With divorce rates rising , men are probably being more drawn into his bs and that’s somewhat understanding as men are tribal they want leaders and see Richard Cooper’s no fucks image as attractive- I can somewhat understand why people fall for this shit. The self development scene has long lacked critical thinking and proper analysis and instead of following someone who’s actually getting daygame results people are inclined to follow Richard with his bad boy demeanour and fast cars. Who cares about women when you have a fast car and a pack of self help quotes . There’s no need to work hard or approach if I make quotes about hypergamy and ridicule women about how hard dating has become .
Men’s dating sphere has seemingly regressed – we went from Tom Torero, James Marshall and Liam Mcrae – all people who actually dated good quality men to Richard Cooper who seemingly jumped from shit relationship to shit relationship and then wrote a book and sold courses relating to it. Maybe men are just procrastinating from really creating options for themselves and Richard Cooper’s book is one solution to read and procrastinate over actual approaching? I don’t know- anyhow this book is best avoided and Richard himself just isn’t anyone special for an aspiring daygamer or someone looking to improve their dating life as a whole.
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
This book was written in the arguably the peak of TNL’s supremacy in 2010-2013 when James Marshall was gaining momentum thanks to his 21 convention speeches – Liam McRae appeared almost as a more mature Robin to his Batman. For those who’s Sasha Daygame method proved too wacky- Liam was a very relatable character to young buddying seducers. Myself I was drawn to Liam due to his authenticity in his writing style which comes across as articulate and honest . I think his approach to pick up is something that is deeply lacking in todays community which is one of a heavy reliance of online dating rather than people actually proactively going out and seducing women and doing something about their problems. Rereading this book in 2024 gave me a lot of nostalgia for that 2014-2018 era pickup – arguably The Natural Lifestyles were the ones who benefited most financially from that era with people moving away from the Yads, the Nick Kraussers and the Tom Torero’s of todays worlds and all in all opting for something more mature in Liam McRae and James Marshall. Whilst the likes of Yad and Tom Torero had their appeal for the low smv types of men I definitely saw Liam and James’ marketability towards those who had higher than average smv who were looking for a bit more connection in their interactions .
I’ve been personally influenced heavily by Liam. His now deleted YouTube videos were a huge motivation to me writing my social media guides and I argue his departure from TNL had a huge negative impact on the company as whole in fact its pretty obvious his impact as a coach has been heavy on now TNL dating guru Alex Leon who at times looks almost exactly like Liam and seems a carbon copy of his ideas and influences. His 21 convention speech no longer exits so it’s hard for people to draw evidence nowadays on whether he was a good speaker or not but I believe he presented ideas well when speaking at 21 con . He’s also one of the few Puas that have been a success after retiring from pickup . Seemingly marrying a very attractive instagram model – he’s lived the pua dream and seemingly came out on top. What’s not to like?
His book is obviously heavily influenced by James Marshall as he starts with the 5 principles – some like it some hate it I find it pretty good but I know a chunk of London day gamers would despise it. He then starts by journalling rapid sex and intercourse with numerous women and similar to the Limitless Seducer documents the highs and lows of this experience. He doesn’t even need logistics on some occasions he just bangs the girl in a club toilet . Now this might not be for everyone- some men might prefer a bit more intimacy rather than banging a girl within 15-20 minutes akin to Liam’s style but still there are lessons to be learnt here in pulling the trigger and not being afraid of escalating. The fact that a lot of these seductions take place without proper logistics also can be appealable to those starting out on their pua journey in unfavourable circumstances like living with their parents . Of course banging in a toilet might seem disgusting to some and getting a hand job on a train like Liam does in another story in this book may seem a bit gross but again it can serve to crush limiting beliefs and install the mentality that success can come anywhere again the appeal to the newbies is in the destroying of limiting beliefs rather than the erratic seductions themselves.
Of course there are parts in the book where the women get somewhat irritable with Liam – with some accusing him of using him of using them for sex when he confesses he’s in an open relationship to one of his daygame lays – I feel this is where Liam and James are ultimately a little bit arrogant in their belief systems- they believe in liberal sex without consequences but somewhat deny that sex is an intensely deep act for a lot of women and a portion of said women don’t like to like being used just for sex. Liam tries to justify this with the equality narrative- that both men and women should be free to fuck as much as they want but refuses to acknowledge that men and women with high body accounts typically aren’t great long term partners and I wonder if Liam McRae would himself would be happy to see his daughter pumped and dumped like that?
Again this complaint happens from another conservative Iranian woman about 2/3rds of the way in a chapter entitled “Persian Godess” When Liam explains to the conservative Iranian girl he’s polyamorous she doesn’t take it well “ it would really hurt me if you were to fuck another girl. The thought of your dick inside me after it had been inside her makes me sick” Again having personally dated some conservative women I understand the jealousy here- especially in Middle Eastern Culture this sort of thing is typically frowned upon quite heavily.
I think that’s an issue around The Natural Lifestyles – they do preach this freedom of sex without consequences but there are consequences to hook up culture which Liam arrogantly refuses to acknowledge in this book. But yeah- why would he- he’s a pua coach but still he seems to have little understanding at times with how the women do feel used at time in this book a sign that maybe the guy actually lacks some maturity with women and the critical analysis that maybe- just maybe sex might mean different things to different people. Liam says “I think girls who just go with the moment and do what they want are cooler” but there’s another potential challenge to this argument – girls who seek rapid sex may just be giving it away too easy and risk being used – as one of Liam’s lays in the book complains about “ But so many guys just bail after they fuck me…” again a issue in sexual openness is the potential of being left to hung dry or feel used- and I don’t think that Liam really understands this . This very same girl then cries in the same lay report after Liam confesses he is in a open relationship with another girl – again proof that a lot of women psychologically don’t like the whole pump and dump hook up culture.
Again when I applied Rapid Escalation techniques a lot of them did work in 20 percent of the cases- but this would entail on some occasions buyers remorse or excessive attachment something which I think Liam doesn’t really think about or educate his readers with which is ironic considering his experience .For me I’ve clocked that I’d usually get a lot more attachment from traditional conservative women which led to some problematic arguments post sex- at the time I thought like Liam that everyone just wanted hook up sex but as time went on and as I observed my other wings I began to realise that sex is a big deal for some women and that it can cause big attachment and break ups can be extremely traumatic – I know a few women who mentally just couldn’t get over the trauma of being cheated on or dumped and I began to understand that relationships are real and they have real consequences . Most of James Marshall’s TNL team failed really to acknowledge this and even James himself seems to discard all the emotional attachments with the girls he hooks up with, in my previous review of Liam’s “The Limitless seducer” Liam seems to just once again try and put his dick in anything (again nothing wrong with this but I can understand the argument the chaos that short term mating strategies can cause especially in todays tinder hookup era)
I certainly found that copying Liam’s liberal stance towards sex was at times quite harmful to my game as I thought every woman would just want rapid / quick sex- in the end a portion did but a good percentage also wanted deep intimacy and feared being used especially living in London you have a lot of conservative women who are quite serious about their relationships and just want a LTR /Marriage- for them hook-up culture can be unappealing. I also saw the frustrations on pua forums when some wingmen would fail to obtain sex they desired from the women they dated expecting every coffee date to end in a lay – at the end a lot of women simply don’t want quick sex and that’s not a problem – but at times reading pua books where a daygame coaches obtain quick sex may create unrealistic expectations on certain women who probably aren’t going to fuck on the first date – then people who look up to said day gamer coaches then get upset when this doesn’t happen.
Liam goes into discussing methods to get the best out of interactions- slowing down sets and leaving space and owning intent this is also useful advice particularly for those at an intermediate /advance level but also goes through the issues beginners can face – overthinking and not taking action being the key one. Even during some interactions where the escalation fails , Liam doesn’t panic and reiterates the importance of maintaining a leadership frame and holding it together after escalating in the toilet with a German girl which ends up failing :
“ I think it’s really important to note that I tried something ballsy (toilet sex) she made her boundaries clear, and I respected that . The seduction was not over at this point; it was just a minor road bump. I didn’t take it as a personal rejection , merely as her saying, “ not here and now”
Liam McRae – Rapid Escalation
I think this is great advice which has helped me personally in dealing with LMR situations – interactions failing or escalations failing can be for a variety of reasons the most important thing is you keep your cool and keep the interaction running and not losing your mind.
He then proceeds to talk again about limiting beliefs- the class stuff that I’d learnt in previous 21 convention speeches and by Simple Pickup but again important to analyse when dealing with hurdles in seduction before going into further rejections and understanding that men can only control various factors- there dress, communication and the quantity of approaches – other things like the women liking them or wanting sex are outside of the power of a modern man and we need to accept this as what it is.
Similar to the other book “The Limitless Seducer” Liam spends a good portion of time discussing seduction fails , rejection and near getting laid moments that are eventually foiled by the dreaded LMR. Still its good balance to include this stories as they give a realistic outlook to most potential seducers of the highs and lows of seduction. He then finishes off the book by once again discussing limiting beliefs and outlines more of the five principals again.
Concluding Comments :
Liam McRae may not be around the pua sphere anymore- he’s been retired for some 6 years now at the time of writing this – its 2024 and his retirement was around 2018 as far as I can recall. He’s one of the few who’ve seemingly “made it out alive” in the Pua space without media ridicule or getting cancelled akin to Tom Torero – and seemingly made something of himself financially too coaching 100s of clients successfully during his time with TNL. He then seemingly progressed towards marrying an instagram model . All in all he’s the blueprint that many who come into pick up artistry or dating and self development and watching his evolution was one of my biggest motivations during my early day gaming years. He may not be the best coach or dating author for those who are looking to build a family or “strong ltrs” But for beginners and intermediates his tips are simply invaluable and should not be understated . His work ethic, honesty , determination and ability to seduce is seemingly lost upon todays generation of dating coaches whoever those people even are.
If you can grab a copy or download it it’s worth your time to get some insight of this now retired dating coach. I believe this book has aged well and the core principals remain very relevant today .
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
This is Liam’s third book in his series of seduction – arguably one of the key faces of TNL from 2012-2017 Liam McRae sorta retired at the correct time – hanging around long enough to gain those big high ticket sales from students but not so long to get media or career ending scrutiny a kin to Tom Torero . His other books “Tinder Success Stories” and “Rapid Escalation” are also books I’m hoping to review soon on my blog – his impact on men’s dating culture may not be as big or grandiose as a James Marshall or Tom Torero but I think he still holds more mature insight to insight than most puas on forums- doesn’t act like a spoilt brat like John Anthony and doesn’t gloat too much excessively like you see many Puas in the dating forums do sometimes . He remains humble and even shares a lot of his failures and the insights to crappy dates which can me important to reaffirming the correct mindsets to dating, sex and relationships.
This book is a lot shorter than “Rapid Escalation” however longer and at more depth then “Tinder Success Stories” – there are little appearances from his wingmen here other than the odd cameo from James Marshall, Shae and Tony Solo although these are limited.
One thing though that is undeniable Liam probably has a lot more Tinder success than the average Joe as he’s able to very quickly schedule 5-6 tinder dates from a few weeks swiping – some of these turning very successful some of not. A portion of the girls seem good the other have questionable personalities one being a Thai hooker regardless Liam also shows the text game insight for each of his successful trips – there’s even cold approach dates sprinkled in in between the tinder lays showing him leading by example and showing his flexibility not to just be reliant on one of game but to utilise good time management and showing that even with a busy schedule cold approach can be done. A big excuse on the forums I see most notably on so suave is that approaching is time consuming which for me is a lame excuse and Liam proves this by being able to go on cold approach dates in addition to social circle and online dates. If Liam can do it in between running a business, fitness, ayahuasca then why can’t you? I found it also so frustrating during my time on the pua forums and wingmen groups just how many men used time as an excuse as to why they didn’t want to do pickup for me it seemed like a lame copout.
Liam starts off the book with a foursome – giving advice on how to have the best anal sex – which may be too alien for amateurs looking to kick start their seduction journey- for me personally group sex isn’t my think and have only been asked to spit roast someone once which I declined. Liam does it here in quite a descriptive sequence of events. He then dates an introverted Thai girl again giving some good honest compassionate advice when dating women of whom English is not their first language. He then list’s some pretty good advice after a series of lmr dates – most notably to not get butthurt about it.
I think this is very important advice as I see on forums like skilled seducer or sosauve when a couple of guys have bad dates or rejection it really gets to them – lmr, blow outs, flakes its all there and is part of the process. It could be seen at times where Liam appears a bit too fuck boy for some people’s liking and I understand for conservative individuals the fact he’s capable to fuck so quickly. For absolute beginners as I mentioned before this might be overwhelming and the Rapid Escalation book which outlines more of the core basics might be seen as more appropriate but even when Liam faces lows he doesn’t panic – he always takes a moment to positively reflect on what he’s achieved and the good moments I think a lot of Puas can take positive insights from him here . Many men go into panic mode or get angry when a date doesn’t result in sex- they feel they’ve fucked up in life just because they haven’t had instant intercourse on the first date or because the girl flaked or stood them up – even after crummy dates Liam is still approaching and doing sets in this book. One lead even ends for him after the date the girl screen shotted a link to his seduction book and found out he was a daygame coach then ignored him but he still persists with finding new leads and successful dates .
The book digresses into fitness and how that’s helped to enhance Liam’s seduction and the importance of getting a coach- a little bit Tony Robbins esque but still interesting – he then gives numerous tips about making sex better , anal and group sex – having not done any of the latter two myself personally I can’t really judge if this is good advice or not but his tips on handling rejection are great imo. He shows an element of life balance – something which puas can often get wrong they are either too focused on approaching and neglect their own smv or they just don’t do enough and use time and life as an excuse – I feel this book is invaluable in demonstrating balance as a key factor .
The final chapters about Ayahausca just weren’t for me – that being said I believe others can benefit from them – his concluding thoughts are something that I think every Pua can learn from – that is primarily the importance of volume . Most men on the dating forums do not have enough volume and i completely agree here with Liam. A lot of them would be better off just focusing on new leads and expanding their social circles of which most seem incapable of doing because they haven’t practiced Daygame or think that Puas are just creeps or either that they lack the self confidence in doing so.
Reference experience is important as Liam outlines he’s had 8 years of doing so which has made him a more confident seducer in leading the highs and lows – he even goes far as detailing 12 dates that went wrong and describing them . He also shows how one girl refuses to date him again after he appears too unnatural- interestingly enough i’ve had girls flake on me for the same reason for being too mechanical . I guess its a problem sometimes of being too confident and slick sometimes the girls don’t feel special and feel like they are one of many? Potentially an issue that comes with too much success in Pua sometimes.
Overall there are many valuable lessons in this book that draw on the emotions many face when dating and dealing with a rotation of girls. There’s flexibility from online, daygame and social circle so there is something for everyone. Liam is honest and a realist and I think a lot of his valuable insights are lost on todays dating forums . Well worth a read if you can grab a copy.
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
Going into this book for anyone who has been following the 21 convention or any of PUA developments between 2011- 2020 its indisputable to measure the about of influence James Marshall has had on pretty much the entire industry . His 21 convention speeches remain the best that I’ve seen on dating and seduction- he appears a much more well rounded and mature individual than the London daygame crew : Nick Krauser , Tom Torero and Yad and compared to this generation of “Red Pill” self-help coaches he’s just simply much more experienced than a Richard Cooper, Rollo Tomassi or Michael Sartain and he comes across much more realistic and honest than a John Anthony. Where he’s been critiqued in the past has been the overpricing of his content and even this book he priced at around $100 or an addition to purchase with his numerous expensive courses. He is the most expensive dating coach I’ve come across – is he worth it? Judging by my experience I don’t think any dating coach ever will be worth $10k a bootcamp you’re much better off putting that money into the gym and fashion but for arguments sake I still see him as a good mentor and public speaker in the dating realm. Has he milked that for some high ticket sales? Yes. But then again pretty much most coaches in the self help coaching sphere sell some products and services that are somewhat overpriced for their value. This industry has always been like that and James is no different.
How is James Marshall doing now? Well he appears to be selling less courses , less coaching and his team is wittered down a bit. I still think losing Liam McRae probably set the company back a bit before hiring some questionable coaches that seemed – on the surface to be prudent nutcases cough *Jon* cough.
But onto the book – is it worth it , going into this thing I had high hopes and I really did enjoy it more so than a Rollo Tommasi or Richard Cooper “unplugged alpha” here it actually records actual dating progress and James going from strength to strength. He shows his wingmen and the various things he was able to learn from them and is honest about the downfall of his marriage – the difficulty he endured marrying a Ukrainian woman – perhaps he’s not fully truthful about the fact she could’ve just been using him for a passport but still there’s value in analysing this and showing that all dating coaches have their highs and lows which is often hidden when you see seduction coaches often being marketed as players who can do no wrong.
The beginning of the book describes James Marshall starring in a porn scene himself before detailing his adventures hooking up with women in China in 2004 whilst documenting his time training in Shaolin Temple – his life is just unorthodox and at times very inspiring considering how one dimensional your average pua can be its refreshing to see a dating book in which some interesting stuff happens between the seductions – not so much just mechanical approaching and sex stories like Tom Torero’s or philosophy of female dating strategy like Richard Cooper , Rollo Tomassi and to some extent Nick Krauser’s books can overly dwell on at times. There’s actually some personality and character development coming through here and an improvement in his dating life throughout the book whereas some authors in the space like Richard Cooper just go from one failure to another. There are heating breakups at the beginning which seem to be entirely James’ fault but he has an honesty here- he doesn’t look to hide dating failures or over exaggerate his result like Alex Ice White (who doesn’t even do cold approach but yet acts like a coach) or John Anthony do (who seems to critique every dating coach bar himself) .
“The sad fact dawned on me that after high school, as people nest and get real jobs, their social worlds shrink. They find themselves into their twenties with a handful of friends and an orbiting ring of pleasant work acquaintances. The madness, hope and dreams of their youth vanish and are replaced with the numbing comfort and insidious slow death of adulthood. It was what I feared more than anything and the reason I shat on a beautiful relationship with a stunning wonderful woman…..”
Here James goes through what I see many Pua’s going through- the urge to be different me myself I’ve also had such an urge that put me off making commitment to women – the fear of being boring and mundane with each day being a constant battle against such decline but he also highlights something true about men’s social circles- they shrink a lot post university and men get into comfortable situations and decline into a slow death something that I’ve personally discovered after my mates left uni- James’ insights into social circle development here is invaluable especially for those starting out.
“ The single man’s life is generally one of constant low level frustration which peaks to murderous intensity on nights out, as he falters and drunkenly stumbles through half- arse attempts to meet women. This usually ends with the immediate jump into another relationship with the first time a woman of passable quality who agrees to remove her panties for him. This continues throughout life with options slowly narrowing as social circles diminish, hair lines thin and bellies expand..” This is something I most definitely am seeing now approaching my 30s.
James also goes through online dating – not only in China but in Australia and Ukraine and writes extensively about the qualms of such
“It took me a while to realise that the ratio of men to women was 10 to one and also that the value of girls jumped considerably in this context. A girl you wouldn’t look twice at on the street is bombarded with dozens of messages a day and becomes picky. Unlikely that she will ever meet any of them in person, she strings them along with saucy messages as the validation comes from the attention, not the resolution of the fantasy.”
I saw this as a problem of online dating too- the sheer abundance and options that women had were problematic and were one of the reasons that me myself switched from online to daygame around 2017 . Later on in the book James Marshall has a dig at Mystery and Ross Jeffries- claiming that mystery suffers from Asperger’s which I think is a fair comment – there was definitely a weird aura around mystery . Ross Jeffries i never liked too as I don’t think scripted lines or hypnosis really work on women- I see him purely as a a marketer that was just in seduction at the right place and the right time and made a fair chunk of cash through seminars and books taking advantage of men who had little reference experience. So in a way James and I are on the same page in a lot of aspects.
The book then digresses into a lot of lay reports and I mean a lot – even prior to James getting into seduction he seemed reasonably successful – losing his virginity as 16 in the US, with numerous lays throughout his ventures in Australia – including Taiwanese, Iranian, Africans, Chinese, Pakistani , 37 year old MILF and of course Ukrainans – seduced in a variety of ways including online dating (myspace and other dating sites that don’t exist anymore) , daygame, night game and social circle (through his band) James shows a lot of flexibility here though doesn’t really dwell into much technique rather documents his emotions, the dialogue and the results – its not a perfect guide – far from it but still interesting reading nonetheless. James adds a bit of seduction advice in between sets but really its just drifting from lay to lay most of the time which reminds me of Tom Torero’s daygame stories.
This could be a flaw in James in that he’s always been somewhat of a successful guy with women even when he was young- losing his virginity at 16 and then progressing in relationships thereafter. There is not real rags to riches story as far as his dating life goes – he’s progressing positively throughout and building connections with seemingly interesting characters a lot of whom have intriguing strengths and side-stories. But let’s not kid ourselves James Marshall is still a tall handsome dude, a b list celebrity with decent following who even in his worst day was still a handsome Australian dude with a load of cool hobbies. Whether this makes him relatable to large swathes of the PUA community who are low smv men is up for debate – in my wingmanning circles he’s been praised for maturity and his ability to educate on connection but critiqued by my lower smv wings as never having had a real struggle which is a fair critique James even has one moment in his book where a woman his 5 ft Asian client was dating hits on him :
Here James admits really that looks do matter – one way or another SMV is something that will eventually impact your dating life whether you are spiritual guru akin to James or a jack the lad guy like Nick Krausser – I don’t think he will ever have that grassroots appeal to the majority of men like a Yad and Tom Torero will but it’s undeniable that the majority of day gamers can learn a lot from James about how to connect better with women .
In the end of the book one of his main wingmen and best friend John has a mental breakdown, he then proceeds to get betrayed by other wingmen- his three wingmen in the group have long term relationships that falter and fall apart/divorce and their relationships break down with James – He then himself gets cheated on by his Ukrainian wife when she becomes a famous Dj in Australia – a taste of his own medicine perhaps considering throughout the book him and his wingmen are always cheating and dicking around with women themselves. An example of how puas can potential just be lifelong self addicts with no discipline or self control perhaps? Both James and his former coach John are known for their dating . Like or dislike James he’s led an interesting life – one of adventure and sets a good example to daygamers- his emotions show more in this book than other day gamers like Torero and Krauser do – perhaps this plants a more realistic viewpoint than a Ross Jefferies does or technique based materials do. There will be ups and downs in women wether you’re a virgin or at 100 lay count – there will be obstacles and that’s ok. I think this is invaluable advice seeing as so many of my wingmen failed when it came to the psychological game of daygame and persistence. Those that strove through the highs and lows thrived – those who let it get to them gave up sometimes after a week or two of approaching- James definitely shows his mental strength across 10-15 years of his life consistently gaming and networking in order to hone his skills – despite that challenges he makes he’s persistent and has a lot to show for it now. 350k YouTube subscribers , a decent coaching team , a house in Portugal as well as a flat in Budapest the outcome has been impressive and he serves as a good example for young daygamers to follow and can still to this day inspire hope to many. This is a unique book and offers a lot to beginners as well as intermediates – for those seeking “mature Puas” few will ever have the appear James Marshall does.
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
The fourth book in The Rational Male Series The Rational Male – Religion is Rollo Tommasi’s book that tries to balance religious beliefs with modern day PUA theory. Has Rollo exhausted The Rational Male series or is this fourth edition an insightful addition to the collection of books which have had a huge impact on the manosphere- love or hate the guy he has been one of the most talked about figures in the men’s dating space between 2015 and 2020 . So why write about religion? Because God himself or faith is a shit way to depend on dating well and optimally yet so many people rely on their Church/Mosque or Synagogue to guide them to make the right relationship decisions . I think its still important today to discuss religion and pua as religion still impacts a lot of Men and Women’s dating decisions whether we like it or not and of course even though atheist Puas tend to speak the truth much more on relationship dynamics their voice will probably never be as loud as religious institutions despite said institutions not having common sense or rational thinking as their lead influence to the relationship advice they give .
At the time of writing 68 percent of American’s are Christian so it made sense for Rollo to do this book as he himself is American and a Christian – given that a lot of Rollo’s fan base is religious could be seen as an additional reason to focus on this topic- Rollo himself has said he receives a lot of fan-mail and questions from his religious fans so addressing them all in one book seems convenient.
It’s important to understand that a lot of men make their relationship decisions based on Religion – Religious philosophy and PUA do have major differences and I feel that a lot of religious men are making fucking stupid decisions purely on their belief – this book is more directed at Christianity rather than at people of all faiths but the general message is true across all religions though the examples used are roughly 80 percent based on the Christian faith, 10 percent Islam and 10 percent Jewish- aside from these major faiths there’s not much mentioning of Buddhism , Hinduism or the Seeks . Maybe this can be a valid critique of the book – meant to be about Religion but is really not as broad based as the title alludes to with such limited examples.
Aspects of the book that I liked:
The penultimate chapter of the book was were I really resonated with Rollo and thought he made a legitimate good point in the chapter entitled “ Love is God” :
“ But reason , rationalism and objectivity are dependent on intelligence and accurate information, and that that takes time. In some ways the Rational process is sensitive to both instinct and emotion in other’s that reasoning is painfully, sometimes , fatally , slow. Reason requires learning, patience and insight. “
The problem with religious individuals in terms of the dating world is their belief fundamentally does more harm than good basing their judgement of women off faith without any reference experience. Without actual insight and real life experience we can’t really learn properly about most things let alone relationships. If a celibate religious Christian man (for example) doesn’t approach women and chooses not to make his own experiences then how strong are his perspectives on dating if they are all based on religious hopium and belief in a higher power- until any man religious or not goes out into the field and does the approaches , dates a large group of women how can he possibly make accurate philosophies on dating and relationships – yet my religious friends would often settle down early in the name of God – without really experiencing anything that the dating world had to offer.
“Empiric rationality is the foundation for what humanity has made of itself. Setting aside emotionality and considering challenges from the Rational interpretive process is fundamental to understanding the Emotional and Instinctive weaknesses.”
Again in the same chapter Rollo repeats the point of the importance of rational views , something which major religions don’t seem to permit – whether its for a feminine imperative or not is debatable as I believe that part of the debate depends on the geographic location of said women you are referring to.
At grass roots level why do atheist Puas like Tom Torero or Nick Krauser achieve so much more dating wise and have so much more of a wiser understanding on relationship dynamics than your average religious Christian or Muslim man who married the first person that they were into in the name of God. A lot of men make stupid relationship decisions on marriage – religious people in particular are prone and the lack of rational thinking which comes about a lot (especially with men) is due to their lack of real life experience. Believing or being obedient to religion very rarely improves smv I say rarely because some girls might actually see your religion as a plus point for example if their dating goal is to date a Jewish man then of course in that instance being a Jew is helpful . Although others can see it as a negative either way being religious and using God as an excuse to commit to a woman Is just silly.
I went to a Christian secondary school and saw a lot of men marry prematurely (as i mentioned before) in the name of God. This was pretty worrying for me and I saw the same from my friends of Jewish faith and similar to my friends of muslim faith. From a pua perspective marrying prematurely and young doesn’t make really any sense as a man. Seeing as men’s smv alone peaks around 30-40 (as Rollo alluded to in his first book) and the majority of my religious friends were marrying early 20s to subpar women it seemed that they had missed out on a whelm of opportunities in the name of God which meant most of them sacrificed their optimal smv era and their optimal dating partners due to their religious dedication which seemed like complete bs.
First of all I think it’s easier for some people to move away religious philosophy based on their geographic location – A muslim living in a small town in Saudi Arabia will have a harder time moving away from religious pressures than a Christian living in London- still from a dating and PUA perspective making the jump from moving away from faith towards working on active pua . In my time doing PUA I haven’t met many strict religious types who practice cold approach- to this date I’ve only hand a handful of religious wings so analysing this book I don’t really have much personal experience but as an atheist man living in London of Middle Eastern origin ill probably look more towards the impact of Muslim faith and PUA . Muslims from my experience are a bit deluded in dating philosophy but no more deluded than my Christian friends are.
.
Things I didn’t like about it :
As mentioned on numerous occasions Rollo likes to repeat a lot of the same analysis from his previous books whilst not introducing that much new- It would be been nice if he compared some aspects of conservative cultures divorce rates to liberal ones- some statistical measures of strict Christian households divorce rates compared to Muslims or Jews but yet again there’s none of that here. Maybe I’m nitpicking but a discussion about religious Puas would’ve been good – almost no where here does he provide many solutions for men – then again he has stressed in interviews that he’s not there to fix our lives and that the Rational Male isn’t a 12 rules for life- then again I do know one Christian Pua that succeeded in-spite of his religious beliefs I believe daygame can enhance everyones life regardless of their religion – some proactive dating advice would have been good but then again he has already given that in the previous books 1 and 2 and has released a “players hand book” then again Rollo is willing to repeat a lot of other elements from those books here – most particularly in regards to women’s dating strategy . That being said this echoes my previous point about how empty this book is in terms of what new it provides to Rollo’s fans. I think there was real potential here to make something special- a deep insight into religious people’s dating lives using examples of Christianity, Islam, Judaism would’ve made for good reading – but Rollo never really gets going until the last couple of chapters.
Interestingly the reviews in general for this book are high but this one star review written by a random individual whom i don’t know does echo my thoughts that it was an attempt to cash in on his fan based evidenced by the actual lack of “new ideas” or new information provided here.
There’s a lack of analysing or providing reasons why there are less people looking at religion . For me personally my underlying dislike of religion was never due to the feminine imperative of religion – I don’t think Rollo Provides enough statistical reasoning behind this – he just says it without looking or comparing different countries, cultures , or even religions themselves- having spoken to people who moved away from the church I believe the corruption , money laundering , excessive pedophilia are contributing factors as to why people are leaving religion.
When you start molesting kids you start to believe that this old religion isn’t all that’s cracked up to be:
I believe these reasons are why people are turning against conservative religion rather then its “Feminine primary objective” which Rollo tries to prove using statistical evidence about the increase in female priests in the church- in fairness Churches in the US have turned more pro lgtb rights in the last 5-10 years judging by twitter and news reports – whether this is because they genuinely care about gay rights or just need the fucking money and are moving away from conservatism . They need the cash or their religion will die- we will take gays or women , relying on men alone is simply not enough when said straight men have been molesting and proven to be corrupt as fuck to date. Heck my recent visit to Saudi Arabia proved that even the strictest of religious cultures can’t make the cut anymore simply staying conservative . They have recently gotten rid of the women driving ban and have even invited gay influencers (gay YouTuber nonstopdan being the primary example) to come to their country is this because they genuinely care about women or gay rights? I don’t think so – I think their economy is fucked and staying Islamic and conservative is a sure fire way to isolate your economy and put off potential investors similar to the American Christian church who’s numbers are now dwindling . Whether this is a real push for women’s liberty/ genuine care of gay rights or an act of desperation – judging by what’s going on in other conservative religions I believe it to be the latter although I have no statistical evidence per say to justify this.
Religious Conservative Male Influencer’s gone rogue? :
I use one example to justify Rollo’s arguments in this book religious conservative male influencer Tanner Guzy who’s a men’s fashion coach- a very known promoter of marriage and the nuclear family – often showcasing the importance of his marriage got divorced this year and lost custody to his 6 children. Now this was an example of a man who married young , built up smv like the red pill and Rollo and His buddies said you should do and still got divorced. In fact he’s of the Christian faith and still divorced twice now. I feel his example shows that SMV or no SMV all valued religious men can still be divorced even if they marry a conservative virgin woman things can still go wrong . So from this argument I guess Rollo is correct about the dangers of marriage in the 21st century which he repeats throughout this book.
Similarly looking at Tanner Guzy’s tweets now he seems to be – despite being a high valued man in his 40s aiming to date other divorced women or women similar to his age. He seems to be using dating apps and never talks about Pua or the value of approaching women during the day . I use him as an example of the value of pua as the only genuine way for men to date out their league- compare him to other lower valued people who got divorced like Tom Torero, James Marshall and Nick Krauser it’s the religious high value man Tanner that seems to be making the most compromises despite his “faith” and still doesn’t seem to be dating much better than mid tier women who still divorce him despite his improved SMV and accomplishments . This also falls in line with the idea of the religious influencers that Rollo alludes to in this book though he uses Jordan Peterson as the prominent example on how he influences young men to go back to church and find their faith- whether they do or don’t I still don’t think doing this alone will improve their relationship circumstances i honestly think a more rogue approach of just approaching a lot of women , doing the reps in daygame is genuinely a better idea than joining any religious cult or turning to God.
Of course it could seem like Im cherry picking examples of using a male Mormon influencer’s example but the general examples when you look at strict religious country’s and their divorce rate- The divorce rate in the strict conservative country of Saudi Arabia stands at 37 percent and what about the US ? 42 percent divorce rate.Some strict religious countries even had higher divorce rates with Kuwait at 48 percent- so this urge to follow Allah’s wishes or modern day red pill conservative coaches aiming for a happier “more religious time” may look to these countries and see the failure . Of course some other more conservative societies had lower rates with Japan at 35 percent although religion plays less of a part in these places for sure. Even balancing out Islam with a Christian country like Italy where divorce rate is 47 percent it seems wherever you turn- the same problem of divorce and relationship breakdown is there regardless of religious ideology or faith in “god “ or a higher power.
My main criticism of the book is it’s lack of originality – this is essentially The Rational Male 1’s baseline ideas throughout nearly every single chapter . Again dwelling into his arguments – it’s pretty much the same shit here – he is a bit of a broken record and anyone hoping for real innovation early on will be somewhat let down. Which is a shame – if anything the 5th and 6th chapters serve as once again a mini Rational Male summed up- oneitis , The feminine imperative society, except there’s even less solutions for religious men here just occasionally pointing out the limitations of belief of Christianity and Judaism in terms of relationship dynamics.
In chapter 3 he argues
“Men and women still prefer the roles we’re supposed to believe are constraining for us”
Well then why are conservative countries in some cases akin to having higher divorce rates than liberal ones as I argued before hand? This route back to conservatism statistically speaking may make no difference whatsoever.
“Much of the gender conflicts we experience today are the result of force -fitting men and women into an untenable egalitarian ideal”
I’d sorta agree – though I think there will always be massive inequality between the sexes and with inequality breeds jealousy or someone needing to sacrifice in order to lift the other up – sometimes that can be a wealthy man who choses to rescue and marry a poor woman or another time it can be a liberal Swedish chick who choses to fuck a low value man because fuck society and fuck the patriarchy . Men’s suicide rates are higher, autism rates alone 5 times as high in the US as women , men’s testosterone is at an all time low , so men’s cognitive abilities and ability to provide for their women is no longer as great as it once was – going back to the old times is near virtually impossible both economically and societally .
“Yes your religion was correct about some things, but those things are no longer the magical articles of faith they once were because they can now be explained fully”
Fair point -reason , science and rational thought have seemed to have taken over. The corruption of the Church is there for all to see.
“ Geographic isolation and cultural limitation of local women’s reproductive choices fostered a social contract that favoured socially enforced monogamy. Today those limitations are gone; replaced with the impression of unlimited access to intersexual connections from across the world”
I mean in some countries yes- but a lot of women are still restricted due to their countries economy. I mean I’d argue a select few women have benefited from this most likely the 7s + and even they need to find some men that are willing to pay and be their sugar daddy – not every woman is capable of this. Some are still repressed by their religion themselves whether it be the religious law of a conservative town in Saudi Arabia for example or the repression of their own religious beliefs. From my travels to conservative parts of the world I’ve witnessed religion really bear down on the mating strategy of women in UAE and Saudi Arabia respectfully after having borne friendships with the women there. “ Geographical isolation “ still limits dating experiences a lot one such example was in the city of Jazan in Saudi Arabia where i saw a lot of conservative muslim women complain to me that they were repressed by the local men and could not date what they wanted even them talking to me they were afraid of being caught speaking to a foreigner – there was definitely no “feminine imperative” lurking about when i was here and I am sure a lot of muslim cities around the world have similar repression of sexuality- in fairness to Saudi the major cities of Riyadh and Jeddah I chatted to women who said they were free to date what they wanted so I suspect this sort of repression happens more so outside major muslim cities.
The feminine imperative – if it benefits women today like Rollo claims i think only a select number of western women are the big benefactors which I think Tomassi really forgets at times that there are still a lot of religiously strict countries that use religion to repress women’s thoughts and believes – whether it be the strict Christian faiths in the Philippines or the strict muslim faiths in the Middle East as two examples- I think the lack of examples, evidence and variety in Rollo’s book makes it hard as a result to take him seriously on this issue. Also as mentioned before there are risks with endless options online in the technological world – which i think Rollo usually forgets – women have to put out usually when they are paid for by men (as Nick Krauser stated on The Rational Male Podcast in his interview with Rollo) or they are put in pressured situations- there’s nothing inherently “free” about being paid for by men to get out of third world or to be transported around the world. Rollo does acknowledge that despite the number of Catholic Nuns reaching a 25 year high in England- polytheistic and monotheistic religion has largely been by men for men and relatable from a masculine perspective” I still see this really evident especially in the majority of muslim countries across the world.
“Today egg freezing for women in upper management positions is become normal part of the benefits package for forward thinking multinational corporations” again in a select few developed countries in the world I’d agree- but still for the religious ones and for people of strict religious faith in the US, Middle East , Africa etc. I’d argue absolutely this is not the case . Heck is the ability to egg freeze that much of a benefit- it’s a painful procedure for one and can affect the offspring’s quality compared to having a baby in the 20s or the 30s .
“Unfettered by social conventions, women will pursue both short term and long term mating strategies in securing her reproductive best interests”
In general I’d agree this is really the exact same argument that he’s put in the other three books of this series and again I’d be reviewing it here- considering my own family experiences on this topic of interest my middle aged brother is what would be described as “beta bucks” in a relationship with a single mother and my eldest brother married a Russian woman at age twenty who subsequently cheated on him three times. In both instances I felt the women used the wealth and status of my brother’s as a comfortable backbone to use. Of course these are just examples- when you do PUA yourself you will see there’s opportunities for men to do well and exceed their value. I’ve dated and been in relationships with women who are levels above me in some regard thanks to pua and I’ve seen a lot of my wingmen overachieve and date out their league. But I do still agree with Rollo’s baseline notion that SMV does matter . I’d be lying if it didn’t and I’ve still suggested that the best people in PUA have been those who had a combination of SMV and good day game skills to run themselves optimally. Game barely gets mentioned in this book as an antidote or way out for men – which seems odd as fuck if being entirely honest. I mean religious people still do game – I know muslims, Christians and Jews who have partaken in daygame and broadening of options – I don’t think necessarily all religious people are strictly adhering to their religious principles – yet I believe Rollo seemingly is targeting his message towards conservative Christian America for the most part.
Conclusion:
The Rational Male religion is Rollo’s fourth assignment and from a experienced Pua perspective or someone passionate about dating there’s little to really genuinely enjoy here. I’ve included some of the most valuable segments and yet these most valuable segments will be obvious to those who have been doing daygame for a couple of years – or those who already have a grass roots understanding of religion – perhaps this book reads as a cash-grab on Rollo’s most loyal fans who will just buy anything he publishes and I admit there was a time when I was really just like that. I was a huge fan of the first book but the repetitive ideas of this book which seem to carbon the first left me yearning for more which never came until really the last couple of chapters which for someone who is religious and wanting to get into Pua may get some decent guidance out of. If you don’t fit that category then you’re more than welcome to give this book a miss – if you want to give Rollo’s books a try read the first one -it’s definitely the most practical – if you’re of a religious background then maybe this can be a slap in the face you need to go out there and start being proactive about your dating life – but then again maybe just listening to some Tom Torero podcasts or Alex León instagram reels might yield more motivation.
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
Decided to draw up a list of my 12 favourite seduction books – this is a list of the books that were most helpful to me during my seduction journey of doing daygame in London . I have 0 financial ties of affiliations with any of these authors. I’ve never met the authors of any of these books nor have I got any commissions or affiliate links to said books. This list is not in order of importance or in order of my personal favourites – the order of importance will vary depending on which stage of seduction said person is at. For example if you’re an absolute beginner The Rational Male, Models and the Psychology of Romantic love maybe the best books. If you’re an intermediate perhaps something on the lines of A Natural History by James Marshall might be most appropriate. They also help with different sticking points for example if your dress sense is garbage then say Tanner Guzy’s The Appearance of Power would be optimal in that regard.
12. Liam Mcrae – The Limitless Seducer:
Liam in 2019
Liam was an Australian based dating coach one of the coaches that actually makes it onto the list twice – one that I greatly admire for his contributions to men’s dating in general. Limitless Seducer sets an important example of time management and obtaining a balanced dating life. Sometimes he appears lazy- like banging what appears to be a Thai sex worker on tinder (though he didn’t pay for it) I believe online lays in general serve little relevance to 80-90 percent of the dating community as most men involved in the seduction and pua community are general the lower end of men’s dating and are incapable of getting online days – or worse end up getting scammed on the apps . But nonetheless it’s an enjoyable book- Liam writes well , goes through the ups and downs well here and for any beginner or even intermediate adds good value here.
Ok this is a book that made the list due to the value of Zan and his long term contributions to the pick up community rather than my admiration for Zan’s book per-say. I think the book is pretty average and convoluted but I still think he offers good advice to beginners who need that final push into being proactive. That being said I feel Tom Torero’s “Daygame” and Nick Krauser’s “Ball’s Deep”. Have better infield advice – Zan Perrion’s alabaster girl reads too much like a spiritual woo woo wisdom which is confusing to follow at times. One of the infield description in Poland is him literally telling a woman she’s beautiful – accepting the date then a huge excitement of “yay!” Then that’s just it… Yet I believe his baseline arguments in his speeches are decent enough to push a beginner into action. He was in the original book “the game” and I still value the bloke for all he did. His podcast interviews are interesting too – but I believe there are better coaches out there.
This book documents the trials and tribulations of daygame – it’s not simply a “I fucked this hoe and she loved it” but does go in depth about the problems of escalating too quickly on the date, dealing with objections, the strengths and weaknesses of his said wingmen . Whilst also going through all the highs and lows of daygame – the tough mental strain and generally some good dating advice. Torero’s work ethic and passion for meeting people on the street has never been more apparent here and especially for those older looking to get the best out of their dating lives this is a fantastic book to read. Torero’s podcasts have also been uploaded here for free:
Tanner is not a PUA nor a dating coach in fact he’s pretty much the polar opposite of a “Daygamer” In that he had a family of 6 children with a mormon woman. Despite his heavily conservative roots I think his book has great value to day gamers and those who are into cold approach. As I believe that fashion is – single handley the quickest and easiest way to improve sexual market value this book serves to highlight the importance of it. Whilst I think dating coaches have on average decent average fashion – such as Alex Leon, Nick Krauser , Tom Torero – some for example Sasha Daygame, Ice White, Yad have horrific fashion and should not be followed as an example. Others like Liam McRae, James Marshall, Paul Janka set a good example all be it I feel at times they too could be a bit better (of course this all subjective)
Tanner in 2018
Tanner explores in depths the importance of appearance which could be useful for those daygamers who need convincing about improving set characteristic. Tanner himself is now divorced and has endured a rough ride fighting for the custody of his children in recent times but I still think his instagram can add value to those in the daygame sphere – though I believe his opinion on LTR and marriages are brutally naive you can disagree with someone on some points but still agree with them on others right?
I feel style is a sticking point particularly in those men who are starting out daygame young can be naive about their style and it can cause them blow outs and deny them opportunities with women- following Tanner Guzy’s insights can be helpful in fixing this problem.
Former coach of TNL who quit in 2019 and 21 convention speaker – ex Melbourne seduction lair man Liam Mcrae is back on this list again with his second book Rapid Escalation which was an enjoyable riveting read one that I read in 2016 – the year before I got into daygame . This one really helped me in showing the importance of pulling the trigger and how to be an interaction sexual. Liam has – permanently quit the game removing himself from all TNL videos and his 21 convention speeches have since been deleted but his interviews still add a lot of value especially for those who have issues escalating on dates and reading women’s signals .
This book is quite hard to get your hands on but if you do it could well be worth while . A biography of James Marshall’s early life- A Natural History which starts in 2007 – this book ventures into the beginning of James Marshall’s life as daygame coach- his development diaries and the trials and tribulations he faced. Most prominently his seduction stories doing daygame in 2008 in Ukraine ( the place where his grandparents are from) are particularly interesting though most of his lays he achieved on online dating on myspace don’t appear relevant today . Of course the competition he would have faced gaming in Eastern Europe is far less than that he would’ve faced today but it’s still interesting to see his progress and adaptability moving from Australia to Eastern Europe.
His book is interesting, his life is interesting and could be seen as a great example for those looking for “ lifestyle design” particularly towards a younger crowd I believe James’ sets a better example than other prominent dating coaches like Ross Jefferies , Tom Torero and Nick Krauser on how to build an interesting life and interesting team- a flaw in both young and old daygamers is that they appear too much like lone wolves and are unable to really build a sense of community around themselves . Whilst his coaching may be seen as brutally overpriced his content remains great, his speeches on general lifestyle design is great and he sets a good example to men in building a genuinely adventurous and interesting life.
Where this book seemingly falls down towards the end where he marries a Ukrainian model who appears to just be using him for a passport. This Ukrainian model then just goes to Australia and cheats on him at a music festival. You’d expect someone with so much experience as James to have a bit more common sense than this but he doesn’t he makes a rookie error in marrying a gold digger from the dumpster of Eastern Europe to just be used for his status and passport in that country (a similar to that of my brother)
Despite this calamity at the end (and every dating coach makes mistakes ) its still an iconic worthwhile books for beginners, intermediates and even advanced individuals.
Mark Manson’s book titled “Models” has been one of the more popular seduction self help books that have stood the test of time . It didn’t cause the same level of media stir that Neil Strauss’s “The Game” did but in my eyes this gives a lot of practical advice that men can use. When applied to basic daygame and continuous self improvement in SMV for men I believe this book serves as a good – basic guide to dating for men to build a solid foundation on .
Sometimes a pessimistic out look on relationships but Rollo Tommasi’s The Rational Male has been one of the highly impactful books on the Seduction and Self help industry. With Rollo deriving the majority of his ideas during his time as a moderator of the SoSauve forums- a relationship discussion forum for men. Does Rollo have the most receipts compared to actual dating coaches like Tom Torero , Nick Krausser for example most probably not. Did he take advantage over an era of record high divorce rates , an era of “lost boys” , it’s debatable , him and Richard Cooper enjoyed a monumental rise to fame as a result of the rise of the redpill . Nevertheless I think some of his viewpoints on relationship dynamics are good – does it warrant an extension to a four book series perhaps not but still makes for interesting reading nonetheless.
His emphasis on men creating options , on rejection being better than regret is crucial for day gamers to pick up . His analysis of age and SMV is also good for beginners and for older men who are concerned that age can be an issue to their impact on the game. His discussion on “false alpha’s” is important to men who’ve even endured a lot of success from gaming in certain areas like being the cool kid at university or popular at high school to struggling once leaving said environment to new ones. I believe this in of itself is why men need to crucially move forward and constantly be developing their social circles and create something new and exciting about themselves and Rollo’s work was key to me understanding this.
Nick Krauser is strong on the fundamentals of daygame and a proactive leader in the early 2010s era of daygame- Along with Tom Torero he’s set a shining example for day gamers of this era. Similar to Tom he enjoys gaming in Eastern Europe – his speeches for the 21 convention and interviews have added a huge amount of value to the manosphere and to men’s dating but his blog too is also a realistic depiction of what daygame is like for men to follow- free from the bullshit . He goes into the highs and lows of daygame similar to Tom Torero – there are no exaggerations , there is no 300 Lays or gang bangs every day- he gives a realistic account of what daygame is and the struggle. He also emphasises strongly on the importance of SMV that daygame can’t fix your dating problems alone unless you have some SMV to begin with. Something which I whole heartedly agree with – too many lazy people com into the space thinking they can fix their dating lives with a half assed work ethic to life and that’s simply not the case- probably blame this generation of online dating and “ai dating” coaches for setting that precedent but whatever. Daygame is tough work but can be very rewarding and Nick Krauser’s books can be a really good example of the long term benefit of working hard in your dating life.
3. The Psychology of Romantic love by Nathaniel Branden :
I will write a proper blog post about this book as there’s a lot to digest here – but i believe it can be very useful to those starting out in daygame and having a think about serious relationships.
Having said this Im not sure I agree with all of the concepts here in the book the psychology of romantic love( – I believe making sacrifices does create value and sexual exclusivity somewhat can have positivity in relationships and that sex and pornography can be destructive to some measure – i.e. sex addicts, women with high body counts can in some cases have a lot of negative traits associated with them and usually have psychological problems like daddy issues. I believe there are a lot of proper modern day examples that can be used to argue well against Nathaniel Branden’s points.
Romantic love can happen in non exclusive relationships – yeah Ive fallen in love with women I’ve dated with in the past and in non exclusive relationships . Whilst this is true I’ve seen going through too many non exclusive relationships can fuck up women and men respectively – I believe there’s a balance between that conservative religious guy who marries the first woman she meets outs of love or out of “god” and the PUA who leapfrogs from relationship to relationship. Similarly to The Rational Male and Models there’s some good concepts for beginners here – men who come from strict religious or conservative backgrounds can benefit from this book .
Anthony Johnson’s Speech on The Psychology of Romantic Love:
2. The Rational Male – Religion
I actually felt this book was more useful than the first for some people – Religion is the third book in the Rational male series and whilst not being the most useful to a daygamer per say it still had aspects that were very useful one sticking point of a lot of people who enter daygame or those who are considering entering the realm of daygame is they heavily influence their decisions on religion or have religion factoring into their dating life. I felt a lot of men were placing huge emphasis on religion without even thinking about other aspects of their partners. For example loving a partner simply because they are muslim – which i just don’t agree with in many ways a person’s religion is irrelevant to them really being a compatible partner- it doesn’t take any real effort to say you’re religious nor is it a clear sign of SMV value that you’ve worked on . However both men and women treat it as it invaluable component of SMV with some men/women even refusing to date the opposite sex based on the fact that the compatible other is simply not religious which ends up losing out on good opportunities whilst also over valuing others simply because the person is of the same religion .
Religion impacts a lot of people’s relationship decisions and I still see my wingmen making relationship decisions based on the opposite sexes religion more often enough to appease their families’ belief systems without thinking rationally (no pun intended) . I believe the Rational Male – “Religion” can help men who come from a more conservative background to make the flip into daygame. I can say religion is often a weakness in females too (sometimes not voluntarily) – with a lot of females often making the jump into a certain relationship with a man simply because said man is the same religion – or even worse like in some Muslim and Hindi faiths – forced into a marriage because of the convenience factor or make some bullshit decision to marry their cousin based on Allah’s words – or have excessive children simply because Allah told them to. I think for people’s dating lives they need to ignore religion fully and just focus on real positive factors of their partner , their good habits , their health/fitness, their money, their sense of adventure etc. and remove religion from the page completely. I always felt religion was just the breeding ground of ignorance that stopped men from being truly optimal in their dating lives.
While this book holds a lot of similarities to Nick Krauser’s balls deep and Tom Torero’s previous product Girlfriend Sequence so if you already have downloaded/read that there is more likely little value to be had here. Whilst a lot of the ideas are simply a combination of concepts found on Daygame.com I believe this is still a good book for absolute beginners- I maybe a Tom Torero fan boy but Im also well aware and I believe to a large end degree Im overly positive about him compared to most in the manosphere ( as I believe his podcasts do add a lot of good quality free value for men) I can understand the animosity around him – the fact that a lot of his ideas in the book could be interpreted as plagiarism of Nick Krauser’s and other daygame.com coaches. But whatever I m not a copy right lawyer so I don’t really think its my place to judge per say. Like Nick Krauser Tom builds a sense of realism in his coaching methodologies something I think is invaluable for beginners – telling them that a rotation of 3 or more is going to be difficult to maintain which I most definitely agree with- heck a rotation of 2 or more was pretty mentally and physically draining for me when I was gaming consistently . His advice on marriage is pretty solid – some of it similar to Rollo Tomassi’s the Rational Male- read in conjunction with Nick Krasuer and Rollo Tomassi’s book I think you get a generally good grasp of the London Daygame Model and how to move forward from there.
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
Whilst living in London my entire life I realised how brutally capitalistic relationship dynamics are. Whichever you look at it life is capitalistic and dating has huge inequalities that have gotten wider as a result of technological advances and pure wealth inequality to begin with . Women who are in most senses left leaning in political viewpoints are more capitalistic when it comes to dating than men which I’ll try to argue with this blog post. I don’t think that’s a good thing or a bad thing I think that’s just the thing that men need to understand. I might be about to write a huge Rollo Tomassiesque piece so I will keep it light .
The rise of Inequality in Dating
The internet lead to probably the biggest inequality of dating that we see now has been mainly due to the Internet . Online dating has allowed women in high socio economic areas to gain 1000s of matches world wide- it’s become a true “global game” regardless of whichever way you look at it with mildly attractive female 6s and 7s able to accumulate matches beyond their wildest dreams- women in developing countries being flown out by hot men in richer nations. The internet giving rise to women in developing countries able to obtain messages and date requests from low smv old men in Europe. As women’s options have grown certain men’s are diminishing and despite this diminishing returns the Pua and dating communities are at all time lows in terms of popularity with men choosing to compete on high competitive apps instead .
Men can get Exploited and it can cost them big time
Dating is no joke – yet for a lot of men without experiences they treat it like an joke – an impulsive one at that. I use the YouTube channel Thairish Times as an example. This is YouTube channel which interviews a lot of western men’s experience with Thai wives . These western men get into ridiculous relationships with Thai women – marrying them quickly- selling their stuff in the UK and ending up moving to Thailand in order to live with a Thai bride – the work they do for these relationships is excessive for often average bar girls and prostitutes .
A man with Asperger’s gets taken advantage of with a Thai bRIDE
So who is to blame in these situations when it comes to the socioeconomics of the dating landscape? Do you blame the women for exploiting the men? Or the men for being stupid enough to fall for the shit? Do you blame global inequality which has made women resort to marrying such men or do you blame men’s general laziness and their lack of ability to improve SMV- sometimes these men lack options due to geographical isolation too living in a low population town for example.
Some of the men in the Thairish Times Interivews come across as autistic or have asperger’s which makes them hard to understand other’s fully or be self aware of when they are being exploited.
Men’s laziness and lack of options are usually open to exploitation by certain women- this is why I admire daygame so much as a way out of this. Most relationship problems I’ve seen in men comes from their lack of options and the men having to keep up with incessant bullshit all the time – if they actually worked hard on improving their options I’d hazard to think how many of these problems would actually exist in men’s dating world today- this is a time when men should theoretically be doing more than ever to improve their dating lives but they seem to be doing less than ever before with forum participation and community sentiment lower then ever- see more examples here:
The Red Pill seeks to make us aware of hypergamy but how many men are aware of this message but rather become too fully invested- too “all in” whenever one woman likes them. Men’s lack of experiencing the dating world can cost them seriously – financially and sometimes result in suicide due to their loss of incomes. Yet thousands of men travel to places like Thailand and Colombia in order to take advantage of their SMV and find romantic intimacy . Can I critique them – maybe. After all not everyone is fit for the mental drain of Pua much less so even now when Pick up Artistry communities are the deadest they’ve ever been. Some of these men are on the asperger’s spectrum – my brother included so I would hazard a guess some men are just destined to do shit in dating and be exploited.
Some men and women aren’t self aware
I use the example of my brother who at the age of 20 – on the autistic/ asperger’s spectrum dropped out of university to marry a woman living in a poor Russian town- she then moved to England with him – had two children then cheated on him with three other guys and divorced him. Brutal- and I use this example because it was the main motivator for me in my day game journey. Seeing someone sacrifice so much for someone else and still getting cheated on was a big motivator for me to increase my options so I wouldn’t be at the mercy of a narcissistic individual and fuck up my life like my brother did. My other didn’t fair much better – he ended up dating a single mother who moved into his house and had to look after someone else kid – this was the best he got off tinder and in my eyes it was a big mistake dating a single mom – you don’t need to be a big professional pua of 500000 lays to figure it out. Yet my brother always mocked puas as creeps and right wing extremists – well due to his laziness and inability to create options from daygame he’s now stuck in a relationship with a single mum who In my eyes isn’t a character he can trust. So who’s the loser now? The pua who makes options and dates lots of women- or the man who at the mercy of the best that tinder can give him is now dating a single mother and looking after someone else’s mistakes . I cringe to think about it- I also think that if I had a child a big chunk of women would no longer care about me or want to date me- ironically no woman is ever coming to “Save me” but women who are attractive enough can always ultimately have options saving them the exception being women who live in developing countries- I think a big chunk of them are fucked too but still a percentage of them can use online dating can get out.
Of course women can be non – self aware too- they can cash below their SMV and not realise the grass could be greener if they tried- an example could be women born into a religious marriages, marrying arranged marriages or women who don’t put in the effort to maximise smv for whatever reason or move to a city were there are higher smv men . For me personally growing up in school and university it seemed to me that women were more self aware of their SMV than men were. I’d say women mature a lot of self awareness in this area of their lives at lightening speed. Men on the other hand not so much and often times never. My examples at school would be women paying for photo shoots in order to grasp show off their value on Facebook, women being on average far better dressed at school than the men were, women progressing more in their careers and doing better on average at university and college than men. The majority of Men in my eyes especially at school and university just couldn’t hack it and as a result I witnessed a slow progress of their SMV particularly in secondary school where I really struggled with my dating life.
But I still did meet some women that dated below their league- for whatever reasons I don’t know although this was still a minority of situations – male hypergamy does exist and PUA has allowed this opportunity all be it a rare one – if for example a male 7 does 1000 approaches I believe he will eventually date an 8 – using this as an example. But for women on the other hand – hypergamy can pretty much be achieved with 10-15 minutes on tinder or pretty much any dating app. The amount of work men need to do to achieve the same result is brutal and often demoralising but that’s the nature of the beast – it will never change , we won’t undelete dating apps and women won’t lower their standards just to make you happy if you’re discontent with the inequality of the dating world today .
Examples of Helpless men and women in the bottom rut of dating
For men it can be being born in a working class family can potentially affect their dating trajectory or being born in the third world can be brutal – Someone born in say rural Pakistan or a poor part of India will face a tough slog to improve sexual market value- even if the work ethic is there . Women born in the third world face huge challenges too and obviously face more repression whether it’s from religion or purely socio-economic situations.
For a percentage of women – getting out of this torrid situation is possible but that depends on their location. A woman born in a poor part of Saudi Arabia like Jazan for example will face a tough task for hypergamy in comparison a woman born in a village in Thailand maybe still able to use the internet to do online dating and date a man in the western world. For a woman born a strict islamic country and a poor part of said country its going to be a struggle as dating outside her nationality maybe seen as haram . I speak from my personal experience whilst speaking with women in Saudi Arabia – in the major cities of Jeddah and Riyadh the women were relatively free- able to have jobs and date. However in the poorer city of Jazan women would speak how they wouldn’t want to be seen even being friends with me in public by another man for fear they might be outcasted by society. Speaking how they were trapped in Saudi’s conservatism and unable to find a way out . There are some women who do suffer the same that lower value men do – most of the time through no fault of their own just by simply being born in the wrong place at the wrong time.
What has this got to do with pua though? Well an example of the bottom rut is necessary for men to see the overall picture of sexual dynamics – how as men in the West we should be grateful even if the chips are stacked against us sometimes they still aren’t as stacked as people in other regions in the world’s are. For some people they are born in a some places and their dating life is just fucked . End of. Do I have a solution for said people? Other than running away to a major city and repenting their faith maybe? But these solutions might not be feasible for most and I’ve never had to face such issues so i don’t know how sustainable a solution they really are .
The red pill suggests men have to do more relationship and dating wise- I see this as the case for most of the population of men – Men can be stuck in impoverished situations where relationship progress can be difficult – women in the third world almost defiantly can. Men can get destroyed in divorce courts and lose everything but women can also marry the wrong can – have children – get divorce and be in a tougher situation to find a new husband as a result of having kids. Women’s looks also diminishes faster on average than men’s in general – although this can be maintained.
Can’t be angry when it’s just capitalism
The western world has given women a lot – with technological advances , dating apps its arguable that its given women an advantage to select the best possible mate while doing less proactive actions to get the men they want. A female 9-10 can just lay on Instagram and post a selfie of her ass and get money sent from only fans. Can we be upset or is it just someone taking advantage of capitalism ? People are motivated by money and greed and that’s about it- men are manipulated by fertility and are driven by looks and as a result their naiveness is sometimes taken advantage of .
But like in capitalism there’s winners and losers – I’ll write about this extensively in my next blog piece – but can I really be upset if there’s a winner and loser/ inequality has always served as part of human life. I live in London – Im in the one percent of wealth in the world I’m in an intrinsically favourable position to the majority of people on earth. Just like a woman born with massive tits is in an intrinsically favourable position in comparison to the majority of women on the planet . Should she aim lower and not take the money? Why not ? If I was in her position I’d probably do the same – of course there’s morals but with a lot of capitalistic economies money trumps morals – dating can be seen as the same and is obviously ever present now with the rise of Instagram, Porn and Only fans . Our we men to blame for making this popular? I mean its hard to exude discipline from our monkey brains when we see a big pair of tits on a screen for example I guess the best way to combat this is to create real life opportunities .
The opportunities aren’t for everyone
Reality speaking women born in the third world still have their work cut out- in nations like Eastern Europe – South East Asia high quality men could be seen as somewhat lacking- women need to work harder to pursue the men they want as economic inequality is higher . Economies which are more even – like the UK and the US women have to do a lot less for more. Is this fair? Most likely not but it’s the way life is built – if you’re born in the west usually you need to approach a lot more to get the women that you desire. If you’re a western man in the east – you in general need to do a lot less effort on average to get the women that you want why do you think James Marshall has all his bootcamps in Eastern Europe? So his clients can take advantage of their SMV – why do you think Tom Torero coached so much in Singapore? Easy to get your clients laid when there’s a lack of men around due to compulsory military service- these are just two examples .
Similarly women who are born in very religious households may not get the same opportunities to date the women in the freer- Western worlds. If you’re born in rural Pakistan or Saudi Arabia- the opportunities of hypergamy are limited to you- If you’re a woman born in rural Thailand – maybe the opportunities of online dating are still there to some degree and can be taken advantage of . For many women – online dating is their number one route of poverty if you watch the documentaries below:
Its a Winner Takes All hyper capitalistic model
Women want the best- why shouldn’t they? They need wealth to foster and look after their kids in a good environment . Why wouldn’t they want the fittest , most strongest and wealthiest partners? Is there entitlement? Of course – but most men in the pua scenes are somewhat entitled themselves only wanted the creme de la creme despite having a lot of undesirable features themselves. I think entitlement ranges from both sides – dating is competition and the best way to win is to open as many options as you can for yourself to give yourself the best chance. Waiting for women to change, for morals to come into the equation or for Only Fans to stop is a sure fire way to wait till you’re dead to see improvements. 5 percent of men are probably banging 80 percent of the chicks- and women with big breasts and fertility are going to hog the majority of the attention from men – hence why women invest in plastic surgery, big boob jobs, lips and even buying new ass- they want attention – they need it it’s part of their survival strategy to get the best possible mate for their children. Why should I be angry for people who want the best for themselves?
For men the solution is simple – improve your social skills, open more sets, get good wingmen etc. Improve your SMV- strive to make small improvements to make yourself a more interesting and dynamic person. Of course this is easier said than done – a man in the third world will probably need to work on themselves impeccably harder than a man from the first world – I am lucky to be at least tall and born in a western country – I also inherited a fair amount of wealth- as a result of these things I am at least somewhat in the top percentile of attractive men in the world purely by chance and luck- Like a woman born with large breasts – I did nothing to earn my privilege but a lot of people in the capitalist system are born in advantageous positions and if you’re reading this from a place in the Western world you are at least born in an advantageous position compared to 80-90 percent of the world.
For women- get bigger breasts, nicer ass, a better career – heck posing on instagram with breasts and ass is a sure fire way for them to go up the sexual market value they can get the choice of men that they want – however with the top tier of men there are still problems in that these respective men are highly desirable for other women which creates fierce competition over the top males. Women can still be cheated on too and naively led on by top SMV men of course these top SMV men are the ones who have the vast array of options open to them and more likely have the opportunities to cheat than the women they date do.
Even at the top the brutality continues
SMV cannot protect you against bad relationships – I will post another blog emphasising this later on but even rich people get divorced, Tom Brady, Will Smith etc. have all endured brutal divorces that stripped them of a lot of their capital – So this isn’t to mean that there are always guarantees when it comes to dating and relationships – far from it. Look at dating coaches , James Marshall, Tom Torero , mystery and Nick Krausser for examples all went through divorces so if the creme de la creme of the dating world are getting divorced so are you . Even the winners will have a hard time – my point is nothing is guaranteed.
We Can’t all win in Dating -Why an Abundance mentality is delusional
Can everyone have the perfect partner ? Mathematically it’s simply not possible – the concentration of wealth amongst the elite are limited – the amount of men that can financially support women are limited , the amount of high quality feminine women in the world are also limited too . There is no real such thing as “abundance” high quality men/women are scarce hence why we value them in the first place to begin with.
This idea that everyone deserves better is nonsense seeing it’s mathematically impossible for everyone to get better. Not every girl is going to date a multimillionaire guy its just mathemetically not posisble – not every guy in pua is going to even get a coffee date or bang an average girl heck a lot of dating coaches end up with below average women like Julian Blanc, Ice white, Alex from PWF, Todd V, Tom Torero , Liam McRae, James Marshall ,Sasha Daygame – of course looks are subjectives – me taking the piss somewhat is a dickish move because who cares as long as they are happy with the relationship right? Even those who are in the game for long periods may not always get the infinite success most clients dream of . Im not saying success is impossible – I believe it is for those who have good SMV and who work hard. But to those self help gurus who try and create some sort of delusion of an “ abundance mindset” when the reality is all great successes and great partners are really rare- out of all my daygame lays for example I’d say only 2-3 were really worth committing to in marriage at best. True great times in dating and relationships are rare and should be cherished and – for the majority of guys require a lot of hard work and approaching to learn.
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight.I am someone who’s done around 3 years of cold approach in London and set up dates there. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
I wrote this guide roughly 5 years ago on rapid escalation and how to get a girl to your place on the first date . Since i started daygame roughly 2017 it wasn’t until 2019 that i had a system in place to getting the woman back to your place on the first date. Rapid escalation can be a useful tool but bear in mind any sort of guide or routine you do will have stumbling blocks and won’t work 100 percent of time. You need options to get a system work just like you need sales to get a sales funnel working . If you just try this routine with 1 or 2 women it may capitulate the first time and you may find yourself frustrated. Similarly you wouldn’t try one day game roll play with one set you’d spread it with 100-200 sets and look for trends as a result. Rejection and failed dates are part of the game . Also this depends on the women’s ideology and their personal views of course. If a woman is rigorsly conservative and religious then rapid escalation is really unlikely to work regardless of your SMV or your game on the first date .
Also note that when trying this there were numerous occasions in which the girl got back to mine and the sex didn’t occur. There was even one occasion when a Hong Kong girl took a 40 minute cab to mine just to say she wanted a cuddle at 3am and slept next to me . Just because you get a woman back to yours on the first date doesn’t necessarily mean its going to end up in sex on the first date- more often than not it didn’t on the first date.
Re: Text game- I am no text game professional – it’s not my expertise and as I said before I am not a dating coach- this is a free guide which i wrote 5 years ago and I am well aware that my text isn’t particularly good or on a “master” level. The texts I’ve included in this guide were what worked for me in those specific situations with those girls in question- there might be other objections you face that are different than mine . Of course a lot of my daygame numbers would flake – around 70 percent would and i am not going to share those screenshots because that would make for a very boring guide lol . What you’re seeing are the outliers of a lot of daygame approaches – the 1-2 percent of girls that are very responsive and keen to meet . Don’t think every woman I am texting is eager to meet up for a date- far from it. Even Paul Janka who is a male model who went to Harvard who lived in New York said 1 in 10 of the phone numbers he got from cold approach actually ended up in lays. My statistics are roughly 1 in 14.
Have the date meet up spot at a train station near your place. Reason: more girls than you think want to fuck on the first date. By having the date at a place near or in your house you’re increasing your chance of having sex the same day. A lot of you guys work busy careers-your time is of the essence , don’t waste time on long ass dates with girls especially when they want to fuck with you first date. Surprisingly as long as your instagram/facebook photos are good and you had a good interaction most girls will actually go straight to yours for the first date. Far too many people have the date far from their place. What the fuck is the literal point? When she comes onto the date and you’re 50 minutes away from your place even if she wants to fuck you she’s going to have to deal with an hour long journey back to yours which will massively increase your chance of getting LMR. What a god damn waste of time .
Avoid expensive bars or anything lavish that will put the essence of a provider frame. Just pick a coffee place like Joe and the juice or cook for them. This way you won’t attract the wrong sort of girl (gold digger) Keep the first date simple but have 2 or 3 back up locations in case it starts to esculate and keep maintaining a journey between you and the girl . . If you want alcohol i have a list of good/quiet/bars in London for those who are based in London – I wrote several London dating guides here:
If that is the case then arrange a date in the nearest possible location to your area make sure said location has 2-3 decent bars/coffee shops you can hop around in .
How to do it: if you live in a area that is far from the girl send out a text like “from a scale of 1-10 how adventurous are you feeling” if she answers yes she is . This will keep up the mystery of the date and more than likely means she will come to a station near you. If no then still push for a date near yours but bear in mind the chance of her coming is a little lower.
RE ABOVE PHOTO: Here i put the feeler out of how adventurous are you feeling, the girl had just broken up with her boyfriend of 6 years and was on the rebound, she was down to meet me where-ever. she said the approach was confident and wanted an adventure , i know she’s down for me to cook for her now and she probably trusts me as my facebook photos are beautiful as shit (i never had sex with her only make out unfortunately but i got her back to mine within 20 minutes) The feeler text of how adventurous are you feeling makes you know how much the girl is down for without seeming too needy or creepily looking for a fuck.If you don’t ask you don’t get. (a date near yours)
RE above a student whom i slept with , new to the city of London just started university actually met her while warming up for another date that didn’t go so well. Here i just asked again for her to come to my area and she was just keen, shows that a lot of the time girls are up for the adventure. if they are spontaneous enough to go out with a guy from the street they are probably spontaneous enough to go to your area and check it out. Use some words to up-sell the idea, say its more peaceful and tranquil and less polluted than the rest of London if they initial resist .
2. What if she wants to meet elsewhere? Then this dictates that she’s a bit conservative aim for a date close to yours ideally at a venue where there a selection of tables and sofas and its not crowed also no where near as pricey as getting alcoholic drinks and wont have the impact of fucking up your brain like alcoholic drinks do (this is just my personal preference as I gave up alcohol five years ago) . Sit next to her and try and get physical then . Try and make it as close to your place as possible. She may change on the date she may get hornier during the date. Have a second and third place in mind to keep the adventure going- a big mistake i made when first writing this guide and first having dates in London was just having one soul location to take the girl and not much else. You need to organise a plan B,C – other areas to keep the date exciting and for yourself to try new things.
Some people ask me what to do if there is nothing
RE: The above text is an example of what Tom Torero calls beta bait. Here the girl is down but is drawn up in two minds as to whether to come see me so she tests me a little. I just agree and exaggerate everything she aims to say and use a friendly dog meme to remind her I’m humorous and unlike the other beta guys that text her. Most men would’ve buckled under the “just trying to be single right now” text, but i don’t let that phase me and just amplify make it no big deal so she knows I’m humorous, knows I’m fun and knows I’m different from the beta as fuck nice guys she’s used to .
RE ABOVE TEXT SCREENSHOTS : Ok so she’s said Wimbledon is really far from her but I still push it and still try and bring her to my area. Eventually after 2 attempts to push for it I realise that Wimbledon is simply too much to ask for her and that’s fine. I don’t want to show too much frustration. I renegotiate to somewhere that’s between us. Women want men who understand their situation and are commanding but not straight up dictators. If I further push for my area it will only make things worse so I ease up. She suggests a place that’s genuinely too far for me so I tell here somewhere that’s in-between our area. Normally it’s best to push for areas that are as near as you as possible. Remember to keep the frame , if she suggests somewhere that’s miles from me and I go there it can be seen as quite needy. Do what suits you, if you find yourself always doing what the woman wants particularly on the first date this is holding a bad frame. Either you need to have more self confidence and self value or you need to approach more sets. Always be pushing for what favours you. If you find her unwilling to compromise on anything then it’s best you don’t date her at all as this can be revealing some negative aspects about her personality. Keep it play full ( better for your genes joke was callback humour to before hand when she told me she studied genealogy) but hold the frame. Ask yourself is this girl worth two or three dates. In this case she was very interesting as well as attractive. Had it been a 6 or a 5 I would’ve probably not followed up.
Had this been a tourist I most definitely would’ve given up as it’s unlikely she’s going to have sex with me on the first date and that time will best be spent outside a uni campus approaching sets. Always value your time. If you date a tourist for a coffee for 3 hours even if you make out isn’t that time best spent chasing leads in London that live here for the long-term? The net amount of sex from time invested will he far higher going for those girls. With tourists they either are in my area first date or nothing.
Eventually we agreed to a date in knightsbridge the following Friday but i still went for what i want and didn’t give into her demands instantly i made sure we met in between our locations not to make it to try hard
What if she says yes to coming to your area ? What to do before the date.
Have food ready at yours. Invest in some good cooking ingredients , organic meats that taste better than non organic whole foods to great value and tasty meat by the load. Some good quality meat that will impress her (no pun needed but most hoes are worth more than the 2 for £5 packs of chicken that Sainsbury’s sell) . Check for allergies and if she’s vegan before hand over text. Remember good quality cooking ingredients are still cheaper than a round of drinks and most bars in London. Splurge a little . Have some greens and make the meal presentable. Get her to cut and peel the potatoes and onions and flirt with her be like “I know this job seems a bit too complex for you but I’m going to put you in charge of onion cutting. Your mum would be so proud of you. ” Keep it light. Avoid curries, pastas. Dishes that are very hard on the stomach. Try making the meal gluten free this will avoid indigestion issues that can kill the sex drive avoid heavy spices. You don’t want your girl to take a big shit before you go down on her, the lighter the meal the better. I always try something simple like well seasoned chicken breast with kale and a light sauce.
Do some approaches before the date. Go to a station nearby and do 5-6 approaches. This will get you in a really social state ready for the seduction and means that you build on the seductive confidence that you showed her during the initial approach meeting to her. Women I know are constantly irritated of awkward needy men during dates. Don’t be that guy. Cold approach is the hardest form of social interaction and sales, its also the best way to get yourself in state for the date.
Meditate before the date. This will free up your brain from the shackles of your analytical mind. All the best PUAS endorse meditation and theres a reason for it. Pickup is just so much better with it. Countless women i know have told me that they struggle to deal with a guy’s vibe on the first date. Having some form of meditative practice will help you to avoid being that guy and This will make you act more in the moment. Clear your mind and make you escalate quicker. Aim to do 10-20 minutes of meditation before a date- or a 20 minute work out to get you in the “zone”
Avoid analytical work before the date.Remember analytical side of the brain is the death of your game. Maths problems, engineering work. Stop doing that shit before dates. If you study an engineering degree put the books down for 2 hours before the date. You don’t need it, that.
Clean the kitchen before hand and negotiate to have your flatmates leave you to alone . Female friends coming into the flat can make the girl feel more assured. Ideally an empty flat or house is the best case scenario. If you live with your parents you might be best off renting out a hotel and just ditching this plan all together . In a lot of cities hotel rooms can be renting out for 2-3 hours at a time so best off trying that out. . Step 4 – The walk Meeting at the train station. When she comes compliment her , tease her a bit then start walking TOWARDS YOUR PLACE for 10 minutes of good chit chat when you’ve noticed she’s calm then make the proposal . Word it like this “we can either go to a cool tapas bar near my place ( name a bar or pub near your place” OR I can cook for you I’m an excellent cook Giving the girl two options is important. It makes her feel like she has freedom of choice if the girl choses the tapas or bar it means she might be more conservative and will take time to win over. Pick the bar and make sure it’s near your place and sit next to her during the date. Don’t feel upset if she chooses not to go to yours. I know it can be hard doing all those approaches and wanting sex that you’ve worked hard for hustling on streets all day but just stay cool calm and relaxed and proceeded to take her to the bar or tapas place. I’ve done this around 14 times and on 9 occasions the girl has gone for the cooked meal . So it has a roughly 66 percent hit rate of the woman going straight back to yours.
If she says yes go to step 5 Step 5 Check for early signs of escalation :
While walking back to yours touch her a bit try holding her hand, she accepts your escalation at an early stage this is a big indicator she wants to fuck right then and there. When she comes into your house tell her that she will show her around (the building).. Lead her to your room try to escalate if she resists remain unfazed go to the kitchen . Tell her you need her help get her to cut onions and garlic and shit.
Step 6: cook for her play some music , remain playful for her.
Step 7: After the meal tell her you want to watch a movie with her and that you can only watch the movie on a laptop in your room . If she hesitates tell her she wont have to do anything she doesn’t want to do she’s just watching a movie/cook a dessert or make a cocktail have something unique planned for if she rejects you this is important and crucial you don’t want just sitting into awkward silence and doing nothing if I am drinking on the date i’d have a few cocktail recipes prepared and make her one. Or a few funny youtube channels or a unique dessert which she can get involved in making (doesn’t need to turn into a cooking lesson you can just have three tubs of ice cream at the ready and ask her to pick out a flavour) . Don’t set the the expectation of sex and don’t be needy. Its fine if you don’t get laid , she’s allowed to express her sexual choices as she wishes.
Step 8: offer her a massage Have some massage oil ready always buy some it’s cheap off amazon this will again show you’re a skilled man and not a one trick creepy middle Eastern pua who’s going to join ISIS after 20 bad sets ( Im Middle eastern for the record LOL ) tell her she looks stressed and tell her that you had massage lessons in Bali or some exotic place you’ve actually been to. If she agrees to the massage try kissing her neck during the massage and escalate on her remember to start from her shoulders if she resists physical escalation remain unfazed and ask to watch a movie together. Out of the 7 times i got laid from this as of writing 3 of them were thanks to the Massage. Notorious PUA James Marshall has said that seductive massage was a big thing that lead him to up his lay count.
Step 9: during the movie try and maintain physical contact and push for some escalation.
Arms around her. If she’s still rejecting your advances it’s probably not going to happen on this date. Remain unfazed it’s her choice no means no. Finish watching try and escalate again if nothing happens walk her to the station .
Important things that will help you: Having a good Instagram/facebook social media profile The better your social media the more likely the girl will come back to yours on the first date . Really work on it to have good photos, get some professionally taken. Have photos of you doing lots of different things taken high quality. Look at your photos , Would you date yourself? It serves as collateral for the girl. If you have photos of you with good looking friends then it’s unlikely you’re a serial killer that will cut her up into pieces and hide her in your cupboard with your other dates you also killed. Having interesting photos also shows the girl that you’re worth the time. Women are busy people especially the high quality hot ones. If you have no photos to prove that you’re interesting then why is she gonna turn more interesting men to date your sorry ass? Be self aware of your social media. It’s essential become your dating profile. Ive had 3 occasions where girls have told me they wouldn’t have dated me had they not seen my photos and learnt that I had other friends. Had I gotten their number instead I would’ve missed out on the date. Interesting note the girls that are reading your Instagram stories the most probably have some sort of interest in you. So for flakey leads it’s especially worth following up if they are reading your Instagram stories a lot. I’ve gotten laid from a few occasions from knowing the girls that read my stories a lot and messaging them three months after they’ve flaked on me just because they weren’t interested in the first time doesn’t mean they’re not interested at all. For More information read the social media guide here: mindful-masculinity.org/2020/10/18/the-complete-instagram-and-social-media-guide-for-dating-and-relationships/
Learning to cook one or two dishes really well. Women loves a guy who cooks. Shows you’re more than a one trick grimey pua like me. Have a good vibe Don’t let the rejection get to you. Every resistance a girl gives you for a sexual advance is part of life. It’s fine. It’s nothing against you it’s important to remain confident and in the moment. Meditation , Yoga and exercise before hand can help maintaining a good vibe prior to the date.
Additional info
Buyers Remorse:
Sometimes escalation may lead to buyers remorse out of the 14 times I’ve followed this on the first date 7 times girls have not wanted to fuck and out of those 2 have not texted me back in-spite of me kissing them. Some girls will feel they have created the expectation of sex on the next date so may not be comfortable seeing you again. Judge it , if she rejects alot of the early escalation she maybe not up for it or maybe needing a bit of a massage to loosen her up. Others just lose interest this could be because of your game , not being interesting enough and sexual etc..but also because women just change their minds. (Women that have just broken up with long term boyfriends are very prone to acting like this. They need to be fucked quickly if they’re on the rebound. Their buying temperate is high and need to be taken advantage of if you fuck it up with them it’s unlikely to result in them texting you back ) Have a plan B ready at all times . If she says no to sex at yours then ask to watch a movie or cook a desert with her. Something like a cake and ice cream and give her a choice of ice creams and ask her to scoop them herself so she feels involved in the decision making process. The more different things you do together the more it feels like you’re on a journey together. This is why you should set out multiple locations for your date as well as multiple things to do together at the house . You want to be constantly leading during the date and showing you’re dynamic .
Womens perspective: Analysing seduction from the girls perspective. When you get caught up in the hustle of doing 100s of daygame approaches you can forget what it’s like for the girl.MOST women have had sexual awkward dating partners and have dating men that have seduced them poorly by not respecting her boundaries, acting needy etc. Try and differentiate from this by embracing each time she rejects your advances and don’t let it get to you. Just let the date carry on. The more you do this the more she will believe that this is a guy who deserves to be fucked. Meditation, yoga and doing a few approaches before the date can massively help you sit in the pressure when she gives some resistance.
Don’t let bad dates get to you:
Bad dates happen to everyone. Sometimes the girls on her period, sexually frigid ,comes from a conservative background and doesn’t know how to express herself. It’s fine its not a personal attack on you some girls don’t want to fuck on the first date and thats fine. More importantly some girls wont match your vibe and personality. It’s no insult against you and nothing personal. Don’t let bad dates get to you, I’ve learnt far more from my dates that have gone shit than the ones I’ve got laid from. When you follow the 9 step method at least you’re giving yourself a good fighting chance of getting laid and showing leadership qualities. I’ve been complimented from many girls for being smooth and many have enjoyed this type of date but is far from failure free, nothing is don’t let it go against you and don’t let it make you start resenting women just for not sleeping with you. Sometimes dates are awkward but you have to go through them to get to the women that you want. When approaching the general population in PUA – women have a lot of different ideologies whether it be conservative or liberal minded you’re in no control over this. If i date a woman and she turns out to be a strict religious Christian and doesn’t want to escalate with me that’s not my fault. Far too many men see a woman’s ideologies, political beliefs, relationship beliefs as a critique of their own character. You obviously want to avoid this as it can be quite problematic and just leaves you feeling shit about things that you cant control or aren’t your problem.
Framing for the Second date if the first Date escalation dosen’t work
Say you’ve got a surprise for her lined up as a compliment for withstanding my shitty food “i want to take you out to a bar etc.” This keeps the adventure up and avoids her seeming like she’s been used as part of a plan. Sometimes a woman is going to need more than one date to fuck- there’s nothing wrong with this and as long as you’re enjoying the dating experience with her you should keep at it. If you find her boring or bitchy or too uptight or conservative then it might be best to move on.
What if it does lead to sex – what to do after
Make sure you treat her right the next day- take her to restaurant and pay for the meal so she doesn’t feel used and pay for her uber back. Some might see this as “omfg provider frame” but you want to keep things respectful and not make her feel like you’ve dicked about her. Treat her wrong and she might feel traumatised/used and problematic for her mental health. Going on a meal together paints a romantic picture for her and makes it seem like you guys have been dating longer than you actually have.
For the 3rd-4th dates and progressing the relationship further look at this guide here: mindful-masculinity.org/2023/11/27/what-to-do-on-the-third-fourth-date-in-the-uk-converting-a-casual-sex-relationship-to-ltr/
Why I am currently against Rapid Escalation and sex on the first date
At the time of writing this I am currently in a happy LTR but I know longer do – “Rapid Escalation, or first dates to mine” anymore the reason being it kills the tension and made the woman feel like she was part of a plan. Some of the girls didn’t text back after I kissed them and i felt if i’d waiting 2-3 more dates I’d have got the lay. Sometimes patience and building romanticism up can yield more successes than straight fucking on the first date. Of course as I expressed before if she’s a tourist then I really recommend this guide.
ShittyRecipe ideas Basic recipe: Ingredients: Wild Alaskan salmon filet from Waitrose Onions and Garlic Kale Rice Grass fed Irish butter Garlic salt
Cut up the onions and garlic throw them in the pan with salt and oil
Cook the salmon then at the end of cooking add grass fed Irish butter ( Kerry gold) with the garlic salt it will taste great.
Cook the Kale and rice separately
get her to cut the onions and garlic , tease her during cooking
the grass fed butter and garlic salt combination makes anything taste good trust me make sure the butter is Irish, Kerrygold tastes the best
Honest statistical analysis of this method: none of this Vodo i got laid every time sort of shit: 8/14 times I’ve gotten laid from this as of writing 3/8 of those times was before the meal(the lay) 6/14times I failed
4 of those times I failed I got at least got a kiss 3 of those girls who kissed me never texted me after . Only two of the 6 I failed got back to me
Interestingly two out of the 6 that I failed with actually wanted to see my bedroom before the meal but I didn’t let them. (my mistake. Didn’t have the expectation that girls want to fuck on the first date ) It’s a small subset of girls but these were pretty much all first dates bar 1 just goes to show though that 50 percent of the time girls really want to fuck on the first date.
Further reading : (Im not affiliated with any of the products listed) :
Rapid Escalation by Liam McRae https://www.amazon.co.uk/Rapid-Escalation-Average-Dating-Process- ebook/dp/B00F9Z3SWI/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1541173965&sr=8- 1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=liam+mcrae&dpPl=1&dpID=5 111zpz3WSL&ref=plSrch Massage oils : https://www.amazon.co.uk/Carrier-Oil-Gift-Set- Coconut/dp/B01M1D1GS1/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1541376702&sr=8-1- spons&keywords=massage+oils&psc=1 will add some spice and flavour to your massage .
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
Tom Torero’s suicide definitely hurt me- he was an incredibly impactful person on not just my dating life but I am sure tens of thousands of men across the world . Someone who grabbed life by the balls and really through his passion and dedication became one of the best dating coaches ever – in my eyes personally he was the best to ever do it. As I’ve written posts about his death before hand in my blog I wanted to focus in on how his death affects PUA and the men’s self development and dating community . Ill be assessing his death , what I thought Tom could have done to maybe save himself and the impact this might have long term on future dating coaches looking to enter the space.
Danya Hajjaji
Im no expert in law – I don’t know if Danya Hajjaji could be accused to be wholly responsible for Tom Torero’s death. But one thing I don’t understand was why is this ugly piece of shit busy writing about dating coaches and trying to destroy their lives when she could be spending that time writing about actual articles about her homeland Libya which has been drenched by civil war and unrest. It seems like she’d rather ruin one person who inspired many men like myself to find girlfriends and wives than focus on things that actually matter. Why was she so dedicated to ruining his mode of income as well? It’s such a shame. I can only hope that the pushback from the men’s self development community at least – to some degree harms her future career opportunities . In my eyes she’s a murderer – I might be wrong in saying that but when you take away the source of income from a man with a history of depression you’re an abuser in my eyes at the very least. I hope faces some karma for this in the future at least.
Unsurprising an ugly as fuck woman was the one who wrote the piece / destroyed Tom Torero’s income sources. Putting more effort in destroying Tom Torero’s life than helping those in her home nation of Libya
Was Tom Torero self-aware enough about the increasing media ridicule dating coaches were facing.
Now to be fair there were signs Tom was concerned given that he deleted his Youtube channel before and spend long time during covid making no content. Maybe him disappearing was a sign that he was dealing with some internal demons as he had claimed before he started daygame he had depression and anxiety issues at university and was mentally not well at points in his life . But in my eyes the media shitstorm of Pua was already in full swing with the BBC PUA documentary in 2019 surely he should’ve known that doing voice recordings of him sleeping with girls and providing analysis of said instances was going to face some rebuttal . After all with RSD and Simple Pickup gone it was clear he was the next most obvious target . I wish he’d have cut the infield completely and stuck to one on one coaching to give his critics no way to exploit him. Unfortunately he left himself too open with the voice recordings of him taking a Polish girl’s virginity – I mean why did he need to record that I don’t know. He could’ve just said he’d done it and I would’ve believed him so.
Was there a good enough support system for him ?
The problem with some men who face depression is they’re not open and honest about it – ok this is easier said than done but I guess some men don’t want to be a burden on others or when they are need of support they don’t reach out . If Tom had simply made an urgent request to donate bitcoin for example I believe he may have had enough donations to make up for his losses of income from coaching , from PayPal and from his loss of WhatsApp but I guess im just spitballing I don’t really know.
Paypal were a contributor to his loss of business funds so too were YouTube but I think Torero could’ve adapted here by using Bitcoin as a payment method instead as I said before.
Also for a player with 100s of lays couldn’t some of his ex girlfriends helped him out? Given the amount of conquests he had accomplished he seemed like a lonely guy with a relatively small circle – a big support network it seemed but I was saddened to see him still in so much isolation in his last year day gaming seemingly lone wolfing it around Switzerland (judging by one of his last ever podcast episodes) It was a shame to see someone who’d dedicated his life to building connections with others end up so isolated – but it seems this was out of choice – there’s not much you can do to help someone if they choose to be alone and isolated all the time.
In General Dating Coaching is now a high risk profession
At least I see it that way. Dating coaches are ridiculed for promoting rape culture, have the potential to face media ridicule and in such extreme case have funds and sources of income cut in the case of Tom Torero . Another similar example was Simple Pickup in 2013 which saw funds to a breast charity stopped after one of their Youtube videos was alleged to be promoting rape culture – although that example is pretty different from Tom’s – Torrero’s example was the first of it’s kind in terms of someone actually losing their income from Youtube and Paypal simultaneously whilst other YouTube channels that hand infield like John Anthony’s and The Natural Lifestyles continued to live on . The impact this will have long term on the community I think is clear to see as other major seduction companies are losing sales like TNL as I posted here:
Why would there be a new generation of people coming to this space when they’ve seen the old ones so brutally targeted? Baring SoSauve and the Reddit seduction forums it’s hard to see even a dating forum which is actually active . It seems the “good old days” are gone and most probably won’t ever come back .
Dating Coaching is a suffocating profession
The risks dating coaches take now are 10 fold – they risk being outcasts to society for one – their long term durability is in question and their adaptability towards seeking new careers is also at risk. If you take Tom Torero’s example once Danya Hajaji outed his real name it was going to be impossible for Tom to pursue other career paths as who on earth is going to hire a media ridiculed PUA coach. Furthermore by taking his income away from PUA via Paypal blocking accesses to him receiving payment Tom lost his income and had little chance of recuperating other modes of income or other jobs . A similar occurrence happened when Game Global leader Ice White got outed by the Daily Mail for things he wasnt responsible even for https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9729855/British-childrens-author-Game-Global-social-network-pick-artists.html now his potential career is harmed by false accusations from a media outlet and these accusations will stay with him for life .
Admiration For Tom Torero
In an era of bs dating products like Tinder Seduction Guides, crappy AI wingmen products that don’t work and men too pussy to really confront their fears in real life and just actually approach Tom was a proactive voice. He talked the talk and walked the walk so much so he actually purchased a van and roamed around Europe using it as a mode of transport to meet and attract women in it and even used said van as a place to bone the women he approached. His dedication was unique and is something that is dearly missed today in the “red pill” which I’ve discussed before. It’s so rare to see an actively proactive dating coach now and he made a lot of free value with his podcasts that can still be found today online for free on YouTube. He was well and truly one of a kind in what he offered for the men around him and he really focused in on the fundamentals and cut through his excuses .
Tom Torero’s 21 Convention Speech in London 2012
Hero but a flawed individual ?
Having gamed with one of Tom Torero’s previous wingmen I was somewhat put off by said person’s personality as a seemingly “jack the lad” type of guy which a good percentage of Tom Torero’s wingmen were. Per certain podcast interviews a lot of them were old depressives who had missed out on their earlier dating lives and were now trying to make an impact in their late 30s-40s. Of course good for them for actually taking action but not the most “high value” group of people. I guess that was the beauty of daygame coaches like Tom and Yad – they were proactive and just took action regardless of their flaws as individual people and gave the average Joe no excuse. I guess that was the beauty of him- he was so relatable – he’d been through the struggles, anxiety etc. that a lot of men faced and he still came back from his divorce to have a successful dating life. Similar to that of James Marshall and Nick Krausser – who both endured divorces before their commitment to day game and coaching ( although it could be argued that James Marshall’s divorce came after he started coaching )
Tom never had excuses- he never hid behind dating apps , he went out and did what he needed to do and set an example . Its rare now days you see such proactive people – in an era were people talk the talk but subsequently do not walk the walk – this era of “taking photos with people you aren’t even dating/ and never actually doing any cold approaching ” cough* Michael Sartain, Ice White just to name a few . It is nice to see someone who actually goes out there who walks the walks and talks the talk.
He also released a fake kiss close infield which was disappointing – when coaches aren’t honest its always difficult to know who to trust . With Simple Pickup’s ex coach Jesse releasing a fake dating app , Michael Sartain taking photos of people he’s not even dating , RSD members hiring Ukrainians to take photos with etc. these marketing gimmicks of the self help- pua industry seemingly tarnish peoples viewpoints on the leaders in this space. Even though I admire Tom’s graft and work ethic Im aware there is evidence he’s a scammer and a not an honest person. You should look to take the positives out of everyone and use your critical thinking skills to analyse the negative attributes they have and not fall into the trap of thinking these Puas are perfect Gods- I wrote an article summarising the points here: mindful-masculinity.org/2023/12/07/10-critical-factors-you-need-to-consider-from-dating-coaches-marketers-course-sellers/
Not always easy to walk the talk
Tom Torero always shilled the importance of personal responsibility especially in his late dating podcasts . But he found It difficult himself to exert personal responsibility on his own somewhat- in his last year podcasting he appeared to be out drinking a lot and living a relatively rogue life in Switzerland and Russia. Denouncing the “conspiracy theories” around Covid and urging his listeners to take action to be more proactive individuals in their own dating lives often criticising students for being lazy or using family/money to enhance their dating lives. It’s hard to walk the walk in dating – but a lot of self development teachers themselves don’t seem to walk the walk themselves. I see this in a lot of dating coaches today- Michael Sartain an example of a dating coach and podcaster who does no approaches himself and Richard Cooper who never seems to have any positive dating experiences but has somehow gleaned a living out of selling dating courses and of course there is Simple Pickup whom one member Jesse just turned into straight scam towards the end in Jesse who pitched his online dating scam apps. It seemed like progression and genuine progress was something that was hard to do and a lot of these coaches themselves really couldn’t progress well out of ruts- mainly staying in them or not showing much active improvement in their own lives. It shows how easy it is to preach the rules of self help and improvement but how hard it is to survive when the going genuinely gets tough.
Inability to maintain LTRs
This is a flaw that seemed to be evident with Tom- in his final year he documented his trip to Russia and a relationship with a Russian ex which he said “seemed to be fading and he seemed to be losing the frame” Tom seemingly jumped from new relationship to new relationship consistently over 10-20 years. Im wondering if that played any part in the destruction of his mental health. The player lifestyle can certainly take its toll – you’re dealing with a lot of emotions from women both in the success and rejections . He seemed incapable of holding someone down long term and seemed to constantly detest the thought of it. Although I believe he had some good ideas In terms of men rushing in and over committing to soon to relationships you would have thought he would have had more positive LTR experiences to show for his years dating . Maybe a successful LTR would’ve been good for him but so many players have built an identity and a brand around being single that the jump towards marriage or an LTR seems beyond them.
PUA Must be more discrete now
I feel in someways Tom was unfairly targeted by the mainstream media and heavily attacked – despite other dating coaches seemingly have done things on par if not worse examples including Julian Blanc with his ridiculous Japan infield but then again it was inevitable that there would be a media crusade coming- perhaps he should’ve hid better and reverted to accepting Bitcoin payments instead of Paypal. I think its important for all dating coaches now to understand the risks associated with being a dating coach- they are very high as I’ve written in my previous blogs and the rewards seemingly dwindling just look how low James Marshall’s high ticket sales have become: mindful-masculinity.org/2024/06/05/assessing-the-fall-of-james-marshalls-the-natural-lifestyles/
I think his death will create more caution around the old guard and to some degree hinder a new one coming in I just hope his legacy will remain and with the sheer amount of useful podcasts and content he produced Im sure it will .
Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
During the 2013- 2019 Era TNL were dominating the dating sphere – Selling courses for $15k for 1 weeks dating course – the most expensive dating coaches in the world . Recently however they haven’t been doing so well . Several of their more prominent coaches: Liam McRae, Travel Bum, Jonathan Neil Thomson , Tony Solo all departed leaving behind not much to replace them other than Alex Leon who himself seemed to be a carbon copy of Liam McRae . Now it’s just pretty much James and Alex Leon plus one female coach (whom i have no clue about hence i won’t be analysing here in this post . They used to be the talk of the town but what happened?
Loss of Prominent Coaches
Similar to RSD , Simple Pickup daygame.com and RSD – Prominent coaches seemed to slip away leaving lesser ones in their place. My example stems from the person whom I’d argue is most likely was TNL’s most popular coach Liam McRae leaving to free-up is private life. Again in my previous blog post on the decline of the men’s dating industry I made more examples similars to this:
Liam McRae was – in my eyes at least TNL’s biggest asset – he was by far the most relatable of the coaches in my eyes and losing him permanently was a big blow. Replacing him with Alex Leon was – in my eyes a good move. However the other new coach in Johnathan Neil Thomson in my eyes – not so much. The guy had a weird aura In which he would almost tell you off while lecturing or making a video – his delivery was in such a tone that it reminded me of being told off by my own father- furthermore looking at his instagram posts the captions appeared odd and he was often poorly dressed and looking like- well a bum.
Jonathan Neil holding a Guinea Pig
Here we have Jonathan Neil holding a guinea pig dressed in yellow – not exactly showing the aura of confidence or dress sense a man should have who’s attracting high tier women.
Johnathan Neil playing Ukulele on the Beach
Exhibit A/B was TNL’s coach playing the ukelele on the beach dressed I what appears to be his underwear – hardly a great looking photo for a ex-dating coach of the most expensive dating company in the world , the photos don’t look convincing and to some degree look like a guy in his mid thirties who’s somewhat living the life of a bum . An early 20s musician you’d forgive this sort of behaviour but mid thirties doing this sort of shit? I don’t see it as much maturity or development more so a musician bum who shouldn’t be coaching one of the most expensive dating companies in the world.
I sound harsh here but then there evidence of a conflict where he “lost his best friend” ( who used to be James Marshall ) and “job” this was during covid lockdown where John Neil Thomsen worked for TNL prior to covid occurring . Showing at least some proof of internal conflict was clearly going on and with John no longer following James Marshall or the other TNL members on instagram it was clear that there were some serious friction behind the scene. A few years before this James Marshall had some conflict with another member Travel Bum with financial issues.
This situation could be compared to Simple Pickup which saw conflicts between three so called best friends , Tom Torero / Nick Krausser’s conflicts and the many conflicts that ran the course of RSD .
This was a bit damming to James having to deal with unreliable coaches in John Neil Thomsen and Travel Bum- but looking at Jonathan’s posts its quite clear from my opinion he’d mentally lost the plot and wasn’t a reliable coach. He never seemed to take any accountability for his actions . Anyone who looks to self help books to justify meaning in their life is clearly a concern in my eyes. This can usually draw a sense of delusion or lack of responsibility- in John’s case when it was found out to be causing a ruckus from the inside of his best friend’s business he justified his bad behaviour by what was written in a random self book that’s usually designed to lure dumb people in to buying their shitty viewpoints.
Jonathan’s post the year having left TNL The Rest of the Caption of his post
This seems to be a random assortment of words with little clear defined meaning. Words like “Disconnecting” “healing” “unexpectedly cut the cord” when it was clear he was the one causing internal conflicts and with some potential proof showing that he was overly aggravating towards students . Instead of taking some responsibility for his broken down friendship with James he seems to wallow in self help word salad something which a lot of dating coaches seem to do over time akin to maybe Sasha Daygame or Shae Matthews – this makes them appear insightful when in reality what they are doing/saying isn’t offering anything unique .
Shae Matthews – My problem with Shae is that he was also a very spiritual guided coach who seemed to offer – well nothing. When you scratch beneath the service as a TNL coach he often blap excessively and not offer much value he also has no infield himself which is a concern. Although he offered some insight into his love life in the “Tinder Seduction stories” book written by Liam McRae. It was just often him taking advantage of the fact he was an Australian in the developing country of Bosnia fucking girls who were often far less well off socio economically …and that’s just about it really . Not saying this is the wrong thing to do but bar this and his appearances on TNL podcasts were he reproduces and re-shills self help ideas like “take responsibility for you actions” he’s not really offering much unique insight on the table to the point where you think what is the point of him? And in TNL training he’s often giving mediation classes- hardly work $15k a week to approach a few girls and meditate for a while.
Again from this video i see him as a half assed yoga coach mixed in with a lot of word salad/ spiritual guru nonsense . Sounding akin to the Buddhist that wants to be a PUA coach . I think these students would be far better off doing 10 minutes of mediation at home and binge listening to Tom Torero’s seduction podcasts than listening to this. The fact that this video also has less views that any of the other ones made by TNL in the last year or so is also pretty telling he just isn’t viewed by the mainstream as as valuable an asset as James.
At a glance it seems Shae Matthews content gets a lot less than James Marshall’s sometimes up to 50-60 percent less.
Are PUA companies even sustainable? :
My argument in my previous blog post was a resounding no due to the high rate of coaches retiring. In TNL despite the company selling $15k courses the money or profits weren’t able to sustain the business model. Like many of the new self industry models it required the continuous selling of high ticket high profit margin . But how could they sustain this over 10-20 years ? What’s the justification of a $15k programme where you approach women for a whole week while meditating . What is James Marshall going to do that’s so damn awesome – my feelings are not really aligned with the price point of whatever he’s selling or trying to sell. Oh shit I used the word “aligned” guess I am a spiritual guru now.
For most new people in PUA time spent finding wingmen will probably yield better results than investment in any dating coaches. They don’t need spiritual gurus like Shae Matthews or to pay for high ticket coaching when the reality of approaching and dating Is clear – during my time doing daygame roughly 0.8 percent of my approaches would actually end in lays. Improving your value, your dress sense etc. probably could boost that figure up to 1-3 percent but regardless of how many high ticket sales you buy or whichever coach you get its unlikely to make a huge impact on these figures- the bulk of men will still say 0.5 to 3 percent of every 100 approaches they do converting to lays . That $10k you want to spend on a programme – just commit to finding wingmen for free + buy better clothes maybe invest in yourself so your SMV is higher- travel , take language lessons etc. . You don’t really need the coaching , spirituality and mediation if you need that its all free and available on the internet- you don’t need to pay Shae Matthews $15k for a “ spiritual” speeches mixed in with some approaches or for James Marshall’s mentorship who’s heart just doesn’t seem in it anymore in my eyes .
Most PUA Companies lose their best assets through time
I mean look at simple pickup – lots of infighting let to Jason leaving , followed by Kong and then Kong took Jason’s girl . RSD- A lot of infighting between coaches too, 21 convention whilst not a “pua company” per say also got harmed with the fall out between Rollo Tommasi and Anthony Johnson – Here TNL has followed a similar line of events with a betrayal by Travel Bum on James Marshall leading to his departure . James Marshall having a big feud with his best friend Johnathan which led to him leaving the company although I argue the likes of Tony Solo and Liam McRae were bigger misses (which weren’t due to conflicts per say just these two wanting to do other things with their life) Again to repeat my initial point the majority of Simple Pickup wanted out after the company got it’s first successes and the same could be said for RSD after the business model seemingly evaporated.
James Marshall – Losing passion per say in teaching?
Now im not a John Anthony fan but I believe he’s right in saying that James Marshall’s daygame appears off on some occasions – I’d say that James lacks some degree of passion when he approaches women and it comes across as quite lazy ( however i’ve noticed a lot of improvements in his infield recently) nowadays judging by his body language and tonality it seems that he’s somewhat lost his passion.
He also admitted to being near retiring in 2019 which seems to be a ploy to glean sales rather than any legitimate reasoning rather than actually wanting to retire . It seems almost impossible for him to do so now without the company faltering as it’s just him and Alex Leon left and one other female coach whom I don’t know at all so won’t comment on.
only two of the 6 spots of James’ June Budapest intensive have been sold with 0 of the September one ( date of screen shot 5th June 2024)
Looking at this screenshot from James Marshall’s website its clear that sales aren’t what they used to be and interest has dropped -significantly maybe this is the end of the road of dating high ticket sales? Or do Shae Matthews and James have enough about them to trigger more sales for the company – maybe their characters and personality don’t have the mass mainstream appeal anymore like they did. It’s also worth to note that there seems to be no more Euro tour which was was a 10 day dating bootcamp with many coaches included the likes of Gareth Jones, Sasha Daygame, Liam Mcrae etc. Nowadays it seems to be just Shae or Alex.
Again it brings back to the point how unsustainable pua coaching is when its top earner James Marshall wants out- or maybe there wasn’t much to begin with we were in sort of a “bull run “ of pua in 2011-2018 which I’d argue peaked in 2016 . James was able to sell a significant amount of coaching courses this time enough to seemingly buy a luxury villa in Portugal and a flat in Budapest along with some bitcoin. But now looking at his website come June the 2nd 2024 it seems that his courses aren’t selling as well. What happened? Are people giving up hope on pua? Has the crusade against men which cost Tom Torero his life harmed other companies too simultaneously by making men too shy to approach? Or has covid / inflation leading to less disposable income fucked up men’s desire to invest in high ticket coaches or are men sick and tired of being sold dating course and online marketing for something which has such a high failure rate.
James Marshall is still the best speech maker of the PUA industry
I am still a massive James Marshall fan i dont want to take anything away from the guy even though this blog post could be interpreted as a unfair critique of him – I just think he’s run out of momentum , he made several incredible speeches on the 21 convention that surpassed most others in the field. Heck in the James Marshall v John Anthony debate even the biggest John Anthony fan could say that James Marshall’s speeches dicked all over his. I see him as a more mature version of the Tom Torero and Nick Krausser’s of this world. But I also feel his mysterious marketing as a sort of spiritual guru maybe was unsustainable long term. His team is not quite what it was- and may never be quite the same again as I don’t see any good new coaches coming through the pipeline if anything I’ve seen a shift towards more online dating coaching and “lifestyle coaching” whatever that is. He profited well from making the best seduction speeches at the 21 convention but maybe lacked the passion and desire to make the business further . Maybe having a dating coach like Alex Leon who despite his incredible amplitude for social circle game seemed like a short sited pick as social circle game really isn’t relatable for the majority of dating clients as they don’t have the time to prance around in the Maldives taking photos with bikini models. In fact James Marshall’s lifestyle in general is unrelatable to the majority of men. He met his first wife in Ukraine in 2008 and was one of the first to do daygame there- he enjoyed great success but im pretty sure many 7/10 men in Ukraine would do very well in 2008 before online dating apps entered the fold. He spent the bulk of his time in eastern europe exploiting his relatively high smv in the area and never lived for prolong periods in expensive cities like London or even Australia – maybe he was tired of the competition
There’s still some examples of infield of his where i think he’s better than even people whom i rate higher as coaches such as Tom Torero – For example here:
and there’s the penultimate approach in this video here:
Both are examples of very good day game in eyes (for whats that’s worth) I feel the John Anthony was quite selective of his criticism of James and was just critiquing a few approaches of James and of his students of course with the failure rate of daygame and the fact that most approaches end in failure critiquing one coach for having a couple of approaches that end in failure itself seems a bit ridiculous . Even John himself has admitted to having a 1 in 10 close rate from phone numbers acquired how you gonna then criticise a coach for having a few bad cold approaches and then critique his student who’s just started cold approaching?
Moving To the Third World to Take advantage of SMV
James has said before in interviews that he thought Australia was overly competitive . But his ideas area similar to that of my other favourite coaches- namely Tom Torero , Nick Krausser and Yad who all spent significant time in Eastern Europe albeit these three didn’t have large team like James Marshall did. I still believe he was more impactful from his 21 convention speeches than anything and that this was what was pivotal in him gaining popularity. I still feel perhaps he made poor choices in terms of coaches – namely John Thomsen his ex best friend who as I mentioned before always came across as an aggressive control freaking – lunatic who places the ukulele and seems express his mental illness on instagram – not a great choice for a coach, even the best coaches on his team now namely Alex Leon to some degree isn’t relatable to the 30-50 years working their 9-5s and wanting to just to date a half decent chick i don’t know how capable these men are of spending their time photographing models in the Maldives . But it could be argued that Shae Matthews and even Tony Solo who again seemed to be another mentally intense spiritual guy had their problems. Shae doesn’t seem much different from 5-6 years ago -still yapping and still peddling the same spiritual bullshit- Tony got married and retired but again in his videos he seemed to over complicate things and yap on consistently. It seemed these individuals would speak to seem deep but scratch beneath the surface there was not much unique insight that couldn’t already be learnt
Is charging $15k for dating coaching morally wrong ?
I mean this is a topic of discussion which I wish people would understand about dating coaches – they are not miracle men – they can’t hide a lack of SMV in their clients. Heck even James Marshall talked about in his last chapter of a book that looks were an important factor towards attraction and how his short clients (short as in not tall )would often struggle. Pua and daygame results merely reflect a man’s smv and value they bring- it can cover up some flaws short term but long term it requires work and dedication most of which needs to be done outside of coaching. I feel James Marshall got lucky making so much money out of his clients that he did and given the clients infield the results seem pretty mediocre ( not saying I am any better or could be any better of a coach im just saying it doesn’t strike me for value for money) A lot of the self industry itself just wants to sell high ticket sales with products that really aren’t worth it under no real justification just simply that “this is worth it for the transformation it will bring you” With most of their rich clients just paying for the most expensive coaching thinking the most expensive correlates to the best results which is not often the case and given James Marshall appears to not have as much passion as he usually does it may be seen as a waste of money.
PUA has Ran out of gas
If a multi – million dollar company in terms of Simple Pickup and RSD were going to run out of gas then it’s inevitable TNL were – eventually . Pick Up artist forums with the exception of SoSauve are dead- the most proactive individuals in the space are seemingly wiped off the face of it. Between the 2021-2023 era it was hard to even find people in the space that were going out regularly. Most men on the dating WhatsApp groups/Telegram gave up or turned their attention to tinder which was a lot easier to manage. I’d think if online dating didn’t exist the likes of TNL would be far more profitable as people were pushed into action more. Instead men have dilly dallied – in most cases doing neither online or cold approach but rather moving towards the red pill and absorbing as much of Rollo Tommasi as possible whilst venting about how much better “things were back in the day” It seems this new paradigm shift has forced men into well- doing nothing. Yad’s retirement, Simple Pickup’s ending, RSD’s failings and now TNL’s can be seen as examples of a crumbling industry that has little left in the tank. Can it make a comeback? I doubt it as there simply aren’t enough mature people doing it regularly that are setting a good example. The passion doesn’t seem to be there anymore – it seems to have been lost either by an overstimulation of red pill content, fear from the mainstream media and the attribute that men have lower testosterone now and are a lot more beta as a result performing less proactive action.
Self Help Businessmen All Built the same way
Once you hang around self help businessmen for a while you realise a lot of them are cut from the same cloth with not much preparatory about them – Sasha Daygame, Tom Torero, James Marshall , Simple pickup, numerous RSD members were all selling courses some of which was their low ticket item like a book , then it developed to training videos and then there was one level beyond that which was the actual in person coaching . They all followed similar business formats – James was no different with his Marshall Meditation method series (which i myself have purchased) who’s mediation tapes were not much different from your regular run of the mill Youtube 10 minute meditation videos.
Conclusions:
TNL lost a good quantity of its best coaches and was unable to replace them
TNL went down the similar route of Simple Pickup,Rsd, daygame.com with internal conflicts/ men’s PUA community movements crumbling harming their internal progress and causing the business to dry up or their products to be weaker in quality. Also the loss of key coaches may make their coaching products less desirable (possibly) .
TNL proved the high sales ticket model was only sustianable for so long
James Marshall’s speeches at the 21 convention whilst amazing weren’t sustainable to maintain his business past 10 years. Whilst he had an amazing run its clear looking at his website and the lack fo coaches participating on his courses that sales have dried up .
Mindful Masculinity
Stay informed with curated content and the latest headlines, all delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe now to stay ahead and never miss a beat!
