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  • Were Dating/Relationship Coaches ever a Sustainable career path – An Analysis: Part 3- Rollo Tomassi , Dj Fuji, Jonathan Neil Thomsen ,Erik Von Markovik (Mystery)and Johnny Berba

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email: darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Jonathan Neil Thomsen Ex Coach From The Natural Lifestyles:  –

    This one was a bad egg of the TNL group – an example of how PUA’s can be seen as losers or bottom tier scrubs of society. After betraying James Marshall the guy went on some angry instagram posting rants against meditation and self help despite seemingly attending these courses voluntarily himself- he also went on rants on the natural lifestyles youtube channel (since now deleted) which seemed to bear resemblance to me being told off by my father than actual real advice   . 

    Even during his time at TNL students would often complain about him being too strict and intense – in James Marshall’s book A Natural History -Thomsen would have frequent mental breakdowns and break ups- he’s probably the least successful out of the old g TNL crew. Looking at pictures On the whole looking at his instagram I hope I don’t end up like a loser like him even though there are times I think I could well end up so – I hope I never end up being such a loser that I’d betray my business partners and play ukulele on the beach into my 40s whilst promoting pronouns and pro Ukraine propaganda on my instagram page with shitty self help affirmations that don’t mean shit. Unfortunately this is one dead end route a lot of dating coaches can take.

    Jonathan Neil Thomsen in 2024

    Verdict: A failure really – I mean what the fuck was James thinking hiring a loser who has self help meltdowns on instagram and plays ukulele on the beach in his underpants – no wonder Johnanthan ended up betraying James. It’s no surprise really the proof was in the pudding even in the early stuff James wrote about in his book “a natural history” Probably TNL’s own version of a Johnny Berba by the looks of things. 

    Johnny Berba: 

    I am not a fan of Johnny from a PUA perspective- I saw him as rash and unable to look after himself properly whilst he did daygame. His impact on London daygame was evident however with many people commenting on his YouTube videos about the positive influence that Johnny had had on their lives. 

    Needless to say he seemed worn out when I met him in 2018 and bear in mind this was 6 years before he committed suicide – His weight loss in his later years coupled with his drop in youtube views seemingly was indicative of the downward spiral that. Johnny eventually took his own life in  November 2024 – a stark reminder that after 13 years of self help and self development guru coaching he was unable to save himself . Despite regular exercise and a clean diet he lost his mental health battle to OCD. A lesson that shows that some people with mental health issues sometimes need external help – more than diet and exercise when seeking solutions. 

    Johnny Berba on the right

    Verdict: Reading comments after his death showed he had a huge influence on people in London going out of his way to help others often times giving free mentoring and advice – but it’s a reminder to have discipline over your own life first before helping others and that there is only so much benefit that can be gleaned from self help. 

    Rollo Tomassi :

    Tomassi at the 21 Convention in 2017

     Grew to fame due to his famous books – The Rational Male series- maybe lingered a bit too long in the Manosphere space – long enough to release his own red pill lion’s NFT.  I mean he released 4 books, had a popular YouTube channel with some 250k Youtube subscribers , he made the big money – whether or not he was 100 percent honest at all times is up for debate and whether their ideas were truly of his own making or whether he had a lot of help from being a moderator of the SoSauve Forums influenced his creativity or not is up for debate as a good percentage of his ideas seemed to be gleaned from his posts back/ the posts of other users.

    But I still like some aspect of his books – most of my wingmen see though him as overly a negative influence on men’s dating and I can understand it – someone who has risen to the occasion and maybe thrived off the rising divorce rates, rising men’s suicide rates, rising inequality in relationships and dating we see today. Some of his arguments are good and some are bad- he’s often seen as a scapegoat by the likes of John Anthony and Alex from Playing with Fire. Sometimes the criticism is fair sometimes it’s not . Whether or not you like or hate him – hypergamy does exist , SMV does matter and being proactive about creating options is crucial for 99 percent of men in the dating space today.

    Verdict: Well he made a lot of money, has what looks like a decent family and has several good 21 speeches, podcasts and books. I see him as a success although a lot of people in the seduction world could view him as a negative influence due to him constantly trolling people with relationship disasters or failures – I think the jury is still out on this one for me personally but I did enjoy the first and third books which made my list on the top 12 seduction books. I mean overall was there a need for 4 books? One seemingly was enough to draw the main points across but I guess the greed and need to cash in was there – even on the third (which I liked originally) I think he could’ve done a bit better to create some more unique insights , offered more in statistics  etc. instead he just seems to regurgitate the same ideas before finally revealing some new insight by chapter 6-7ish by that time it just feels too late in my eyes. Whether he got greedy or not – and I think the red pill lion’s NFTs probably proves he was I still see him as a positive influence although I understand the disagreements and critique of his ideas.

    Dj Fuji: 

    Four time 21 Convention speaker DJ Fuji resides in the US – he was one of the early influences in my dating life. He gave a lot of good advice in his 21 Convention talks which I didn’t understand at the time (I was too young and dumb really to get it all) Nevertheless his interviews and speeches gave me a realistic outlook and blueprint to follow on daygame.  He has a seemingly attractive girlfriend and is continually teaching to this day.  He’s well dressed, charismatic and has had an interesting career serving in the Marines- helping clients with their limiting believes and setting the example that men who are short and ethnic minorities can succeed in the dating space. 

    Dj Fuji with his girlfriend in 2024

    Verdict: A success really – a PUA coach in an actually good LTR. A strong example for short Asian men to follow that success can be achieved in the PUA space regardless of ethnicity or height. 

    Erik von Markovik (Mystery) : 

    Im in two minds about mystery nowadays as  I am with a lot of pickup artists who were dominating the early 2000s – In recent interviews Mystery has looked out of sorts of course he’s just lost his sister and mother and it could be argued anyone in the same exact position would be looking worn out and depressed too. He’s also been through a lot relationship wise getting divorced and battling for the custody of his kids. Those instances would take their toll on anyone – I don’t think I’d look very good personally if I was going through that shit.  Mystery was heavily criticised in James Marshall’s book entitled: “ A natural history” in which James called him a pua with Asperger’s that  couldn’t be taken seriously and the fact that mystery has failed to maintain an LTR could be indicative of this. As personally my brother too has Asperger’s and often found LTR’s difficult to maintain – whether his game skill got him the women or the simple fact he’s 6 ft 5 is up for debate. In any daygame sense – if you’re 6 ft 5 and you approach 100-200 women you most likely will eventually get laid regardless of your apparent neurodevelopment disorders.

    But it does paint an obscure picture for pickup artistry in that the leader of the movement – Mystery can sell 2 million copies of one of the best written PUA books of our generation and still end up with a divorce and for better of for worse continue to make subpar content in regards to his recent interviews with Game Global .  Mystery seemingly went off the rails after losing custody of his kids posting on men’s rights facebook groups during his retirement phase however this is somewhat understandable given the mental toll losing your children can have on anyone.

    His interview  on  the Game Global Youtube Channel nonetheless was disappointing in which he advised people dating women to do chores with them before the date instead of going to a coffee shop – he suggested going to the bank for a first date . I can understand him not thinking straight given what he’s been through but I do think he has declined physically, mentally somewhat and in terms of the advice he gives now it seems to be way off the mark. It seems to be tough for him to even give what I’d consider good advice out now even looking at him now he does look rough.

    He says he’s still looking for his soulmate in his 50s , a kinda sad ending for someone so dedicated to the game – who wrote so well back in the day to still be going through relationship problems now and judging by his physical appearance has found it hard to maintain his health and smv. (Of course I’m  aware of the trails and tribulations he’s faced and I haven’t faced such issues of such magnitude but It’s still disappointing to see his decline nonetheless)

    Mystery’s story is another example to show that daygame coaches are really just human beings prone to making mistakes and can be liable to errors  as much as your average Joe .  They get divorces too , they get breakups , shit happens to everyone – The key is not to idolise or see them as people who can do no wrong which I personally can attest to have done in the past.

    Verdict: A complete success when it comes to book sales- I don’t think anyone will out do him ever on that front. With the decline in interest in PUA literature too its unlikely anyone ever will write a better , more internationally known piece of literature on game. His relationships , a divorce and the loss of the custody of his two kids are food for thought especially for those looking to commit and marry in the modern tumultuous era of marriage. 

  • Liam Mcrae – Tinder Seduction Stories (2017)  Book Review 

    Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach Im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc.  For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France or San Francisco if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com 

    The book cover

    Liam Mcrae’s second book written during his time with The Natural Lifestyles – I see this book as the least practical of the three by far (that doesn’t mean its a bad book necessarily by any means) I just mean for me personally Tinder seduction guides aren’t really applicable to the majority of men in the daygame sphere because the majority of men in the daygame community don’t get good matches anyway. So only a small portion of Liam’s audience will probably be able to replicate these results- also in 2024 the apps are a lot more saturated with men that women now so it’s hard to see how much of this can be effective in 2024- still my top tier wings do get good dates on tinder so I think the opportunities are there for sure but I think the majority of men on dating and self development and dating forums would be better off doing cold approach rather than tinder. 

    Liam acknowledges this point early on that it was his seven years as a dating and daygame coach that  was the key to him getting good at tinder dates and escalating – he acknowledges right off the bat that:

    Liam Mcrae on the Left with Ex-TNL Coach Jess on the right

     “Every second you spend texting girls on tinder is a wasted second wasted, that could be better spent approaching girls in real life, so get your communication skills up to scratch first.Go and say hi to a girl on the street before creating a tinder account” 

     Here even on page 1 he highlights the flaws of most people in dating – they rely on online as their main source of dates then get pissed when the tinder match or the hinge match doesn’t reply – daygame skills are essential to dating success – they are the most important aspect by far and I 100 percent agree with this. 

    In his first lay report Liam makes a very valid point “ 95 percent of guys using online dating are so thirsty for sex and they want to believe in the fantasy of “easy” sex so badly that they put pressure on the girl to verbalise her desires or agree in advance to sex:

    “The paradox is that by being so blatant and hungry for it, they take the mystery out of it, display low social intelligence, and a pass up the chance to give her the pounding she’s craving. Going into the date open to all outcomes but attached to none gives you a much better chance of getting laid than feeling entitled to sex and pressuring the girl to fuck you just because you’re there” 

    I think this is a fantastic point – something that I notice a lot on seduction Reddit is that people are so outcome dependant that they take the mystery out of sex – or they get butthurt at the first sign of resistance . I’ve seen a lot of frustrated wings in my time who get thrown off the minute there is resistance or she doesn’t want to fuck . I believe by creating more options and more social opportunities 

    Liam has some good advice midway through about dealing with initial poor interactions “ Instead over the years I’ve come to understand that a girl not responding with 100 percent overt positive enthusiasm or seems disengaged can sometimes be shy.” Again a good piece of advice in terms of understanding that some women might not interact positively not because they’re dis interested but because they are just of a shy or introverted nature. Far too many times ( myself included) people in seduction never really take the woman’s feelings come into account and make massive drawn out conclusions from a few minutes of interaction. 

    Liam Mcrae on the right in 2014

    Liam’s ability to create rapid escalation from Tinder meet-ups is impressive , he has sex with a lot of his tinder dates far quicker than I would imagine I’d be capable of – again a lot of these lays do read like lays similar to his 2013 book Rapid Escalation – once again Liam demonstrates similar confidence and ability here . He also shows versatility – despite this being a book about Tinder he does throw in a few successful daygame interactions which do lead to good results in addition to this .  He does date some seemingly serial cheater and dishonest women but who am I to judge? One woman who divorced after a $20,000 wedding with a Hungarian man after 8 months and cheated on him with Liam without Liam realising until she tells him some months into their relationship. This same  women in question ends up being a psycho story which is an entertaining story but shows that even the best womanisers will have to endure some nutcases here and then – I also hope I never end up dating someone like that who can really fuck up and decimate someones life long term – but each to their own . Liam Mcrae even shows these stalker messages texts as “Budapest Physco” in his phone and shares the screenshots.

    Liam Mcrae with Tony Solo far left , Shae Matthews Centre – Liam admitted to being styled by ex TNL coach Jess

    The texting material is not the most practical here, but still interesting nonetheless – the guide on good pictures is very useful- a common problem with most newbies In the dating space is they have poor photos – Liam was one of the first to do YouTube videos of this back in 2016 when he was getting flakes off tinder due to his poor photos – he provides antidotes and solutions here that I think most beginner seducers will be interested in. 

    Liam in 2015

    Again the debates are similar to the previous books -debating that  women “are often really valued for their purity and their virginity and yet all the guys there want a woman to give them sex and aren’t very sensitive to their needs. It’s a paradox”  Again this is the great paradox – on the one hand there is some evidence that women who have fewer sexual partners seem to have less divorces on average than women who have more – so I think that Liam ignores this side of the debate and its one that concerns me when I am sleeping with a girl am I fucking her up mentally? Relationships have consequences and  my one critique of this is that I don’t think Liam clocks this well enough and the entire TNL crew seemingly never wants to discuss this issue. Would Liam himself want his daughter to have a high body count? Im not sure- from my personal opinion lower body count girls need to be more loyal and tend to be better set up for long term relationships. I found women who’d had many sexual partners and boyfriends difficult to control as they’d often have the most mental issues too. I guess this is Liam’s major weakness in all three books- he overlooks this all the time almost as if he doesn’t want to take responsibility – despite a few of his lovers have mental breakdowns due to it in the previous two books he doesn’t seem to stop and care about what his impact on actually having sex with these women has and given that quite a few of the women had mental breakdowns both in this book and the Limitless Seducer and The Rapid Escalation books it would’ve been good of him to somewhat acknowledge that continuous hook ups were impacting these women’s mental state to some degree.  

    The book has several lay reports from other TNL coach Shae Matthews and I am honestly not a big fan of his as he tends to overcomplicate things and thinks an overtly spiritual “World salad” level akin to Zan Perrion which again just isn’t my style. One of her lovers did buy him plane tickets to Abu Dhabi which I did find cool though- showing the potential of social value that women can really bring to your life- good women who love and respect you can really add convenience to your lifestyle. Other than that its a lot of the usual self help spiritual voo doo  from Shae which is not my cup of tea personally but other viewers may find interesting . Given he’s the only TNL member who’s never released infield it’s also hard to take his advice that seriously- though I do believe his lay reports it’s just hard to find relatable when there’s no evidence of him in field to see how he actually interacts with women. 

    Liam also talks about the lows- some poor dates with girls that don’t look like their photo also one incident where he meets a woman who has a boyfriend then finds out half way through the date and leaves as he finds out the girl is just using him for attention – once again I admire Liam for noting the highs and lows of seduction and being honest for what it entails.  Even a one week dry streak while traveling Ireland shows that even the best can hit rough patches especially on online dating. 

    One of Liam Mcrae’s Tinder photos

    Liam makes an excellent point in the penultimate chapter regarding the negatives associated with radical honesty and how they can ruin your dating game.  Stating: 

    “Many guys are too honest too early in a relationship. I had a friend who would tell every girl he went on a date with that he wasn’t looking for a committed relationship. This level of brutal honesty is not only unnecessary; it’s actually socially uncalibrated.

    Does a car salesman say: “Hi. I’m Mark Welcome to Porche! Just to be 100 percent honest my job is to make you feel cool and make you need this expensive sports car by associating it with sex, status and power. I don’t actually want to be friends with you. I just want your money.” Does a doctor say “ Hi, Welcome to the hospital. You know people die here? Your relative is old as fuck. They’re gonna die, and then you’re gonna burn their body. Or bury it so it rots in the ground! Just being honest! Of course not. While both of those things are unspoken truths, there is no reason to say them out loud.” 

    A big mistake I made when I started game in 2013 was being too honest too early on – say to women I only wanted to fuck them and I didn’t want to be in a LTR with them. This was a huge mistake that deterred many women – you need to keep the romantic image alive and in focus. By being radically honest early on you’re killing the romance early on in the relationship . Radical honesty early on – before you’ve even had sex with the girl at least a couple of times is not a good look in my eyes- you need to maintain that romantic infatuation for as long as possible even if your goal is not an ltr with said woman. 

    There’s some basic advice for taking photos – for example “Don’t Look at the Camera directly” the importance of fashion with some points that are really crucial and often overlooked by wingmen on the field – I spoke about this in my Tanner Guzy book review – fashion is really important and you need to make sure you are well dressed in all your Tinder photos as well as when you are cold approaching women- it’s really the bear minimum you can do. Your fashion can help to build a story of who you are in the woman’s mind – it can help create a fantasy in her head about what meeting and fucking you will be like. For me a lot of my flakes in my early game years from 2013-2015 were due to my subpar photos – I’d close women in nightclubs on Facebook then they’d see all sorts of shitty photos of me drinking strongbow at a house party and think “Why the fuck would I date this loser” and in fairness they were right – I presented myself as a loser with no hobbies or interests in my photos so why should I expect them to follow up if I had boring and dull photos that weren’t stimulating to them. Liam explains things well in this book and I honestly have said it time and time again good photos and fashion are a bear minimum for those starting out daygame or online game. It doesn’t take much or cost much to fix this issue but not fixing it can result in a lot of flakes and blow outs if you don’t.  Liam recommends taking pics with a processional photography at least once or twice a year and I’d definitely agree with this. He also uses examples of bad photos and what not to use self critiquing his old Facebook photos. 

    Here Liam Discusses bad photos in detail in his book
    Another example here of bad photos

    Conclusions : 

    I like Liam a lot as a dating coach and I believe he conveys ideas well that is easy to follow for all levels of daygamers. I think all his books are worth reading for beginners if you can get your hands of them. He may not be around anymore coaching but you can probably absorb a good 80 percent of his coaching and his ideologies by just reading these three books alone. This book is not  your generic- 3 text lines to get your tinder match in bed he actually goes into the physiology of dating and dealing with the highs and lows- I think he conveys it better than Torero, Krauser and Zan Perrion .  In fact I wrote in my previous review that Zan Perrion was a great speaker but a poor writer- I see Liam as the opposite- not the best public speaker of all time when it came to Pua in his 21 convention speeches but someone who’s excellent at conveying his ideas on paper. I recommend his books for those at all levels as I said before – particularly those who need some guidance about social media and improving their pictures it’s probably the most underrated tinder seduction book out there in my eyes.

    To buy Liam Mcrae’s Tinder Seduction Stories : https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tinder-Seduction-Stories-Liam-McRae/dp/1540357120/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3VGJQBTJ9Z2AO&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.OFccWBH_mMXDoM2DKGxrGQ.S-kpUFAHYUV93eOZiWauLO6-dRXZlRqyVF34vq691OE&dib_tag=se&keywords=LIAM+Mcrae+tinder+seduction&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1732190221&sprefix=liam+mcrae+tinder+seductio%2Caps%2C321&sr=8-1

  • Analysing the Similarities and Differences with Johnny Berba and Tom Torero’s Dating Coaching Careers before their Suicides  

    Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc.  For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France or San Francisco if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com 

    The men’s dating and self development scene has lost a lot in recent years when you combine deaths by health problems , suicide , retirements its been a rough 7 or 8 years when you accumulate all the madness that has unfolded. Leaving behind a community that is stricken of its once leaders the PUA space has definitely lost it’s mojo – its sense of community .  Johnny Berba’s the latest casualty in an ever more tumultuous manosphere environment that continues to lose key figureheads. 

    Both had a history of anxiety and depression  

    Tom’s was developed early like Johnny’s – he suffered from social anxiety growing up and documents how it took over his life at Oxford University. Johnny too grew up being bullied with a lot of social anxiety – it could be said though that Johnny’s childhood was a lot rougher – with him suffering parental abuse similar to Sasha Daygame and Ex-The Natural Lifestyles  coach Johnathan Neil Thomsen . It’s also noted in Johnny’s blog that he had a run in with the law when he was 19 . Johnny’s mental health issues seemed more complicated – with OCD taking control over him especially in his most recent Youtube Vlogs.

    Johnny often appeared poorly dressed in infield

    Face to Face meet up in person 

    I met both of them in 2018 and- even though it was way before the passing of both I’d have to say Tom was the better spoken of the two and seemed far more present and positive . Johnny seemed mentally insecure and frantic even back in 2018 – often stuttering , complaining that his results weren’t as good as the early 2010s , Johnny also appeared poorly dressed and badly groomed which was ironic for a dating coach you’d expect him to have at least these things in order. I mean you don’t have to meet him in person to see that this guy looked mentally done visibly. I never daygamed with Johnny but two of my wings did receive coaching from him one who actually wingmaned with him noted that Johnny would spam approach often even attracting the attention of security guards in Covent Garden. It seemed after 13 years as a social coach Johnny still had an issue with social self awareness.

    Johnny often faced criticism online for his erratic daygame methods.

    In Terms of Impact 

    No doubt Tom’s was greater – he had around 80k YouTube subs before his demise whilst Johnny sat at a around 36k- both suffered from Youtube’s crack down on PUA content with Johnny seeing a notably drop in views which no doubt compounds to a drop in clientele – Johnny had financial issues too which may have been as a result of the diminished viewership. Amongst my wingmen Tom’s podcasts were often listened to  and he even spoke at the 21 Convention with a host of books published in addition to this.  Johnny never was called up to speak at the elite level men’s conferences as far as a I am aware he had no podcasts though he did have a forum which got some viewership – his most impactful YouTube videos between 2010 and 2017 have since been taken down. 

    Torero speaking at the 21 Convention in 2010

    Different reasons for the suicide – one by mental health the other by the mainstream media Crusade

    I’d say Danya Hajjaji was most definitely responsible for Tom Torero’s death- the feminist media crusade that exposed Tom resulted in his PayPal being blocked and his YouTube channel deleted – it seemed that his mode of income was ruined as a result of this and with his real name exposed it would be difficult for him to revamp his career doing other jobs- once you’re exposed as a pua coach who voice records sexual interactions your career in the real world is most likely done. It was difficult in his 40s to reinvent himself after this of course it would be for anyone.  

    As far as I am aware there was no media persecution of Johnny. It seems though the financial issues were getting to him judging by his public YouTube videos of him fearing prison due to tax debt and this coupled with his OCD was taking it’s toll. It’s pretty noticeable from his weight loss and facial expressions in his recent YouTube videos that he had had mental issues- meeting Tom in 2018 and from reports of those who winged with him his mental issues weren’t apparent in his later years although he did seemingly live in isolation in his last year of his life he spent day gaming in France and Switzerland and recording his podcasts- seemingly doing a lot of daygame without any wingmen or male company this sort of isolation could be seen as symptomatic of a depressed individual but maybe I am clutching at straws? 

    Both were Pro-Self Help but even more so Johnny 

    Both Tom and Johnny reiterated a work ethic and never give up attitude in their podcasts. Tom expressed the importance of improving options and approaching consistently . Johnny seemingly muttered 13 years of self help content – going through the cliche discussions on his videos of “never give up” or “persistence is everything” attitude . 

    Tom did attack the self industry as another form of his clients procrastinating from actually approaching and I’d probably agree with that- I see a lot of people capable of approaching women but never do so prioritising other things. Despite both preaching a never give up attitude they did ironically both give up. Showing the importance of not taking self help gurus too seriously as most of them will probably have bigger problems than us and most of them probably don’t even take the advice that they dish out . 

    Both seemingly didn’t have a backup plan after pua 

    With many factors destroying the industry that I discuss in this article why the men’s Pua Industry has declined incomes in the PUA space had been going down- I had a wingman who worked for TNL (The Natural Lifestyles0 who noted that the business was slow post covid- a combination of factors- online dating, lower testosterone, rising autism rates, Rise of Red pill esque procrastination , Me Too etc. had crushed the dating industry and the men’s self community . This no doubt must have harmed the sales of both with them being incapable of coaching live for  a year or so due to covid.  No doubt the loss in revenue must have affected Johnny – with both suffering shadow banning from main stream media reducing their YouTube plays – Johnny’s YouTube channel who’s new videos would only gain around 100 plays each- Not really the quantity needed to garner new clients. 

    Tom’s loss of his PayPal account , YouTube channel and the vilification from mainstream media clearly took it’s toll. The stark reminder that dating coaching is vulnerable to cancelation/media ridicule at any time- both suffered from YouTube strikes on PUA content – more so Tom than Johnny but even Johnny’s viewership had dropped to very low levels.

    Johnny appeared to have lost a lot of weight in his final year of vlogging

     

    Johnny Seemed to be more health conscious than Tom

    Johnny seemed to blog regularly about running and hitting the gym and losing weight so much so that he seemed to lose too much weight- he looked very feeble despite hitting the gym consistently and he blogged about eating healthy consistently . Tom on the other didn’t do these things – he continued to drink and rarely if ever blogged about healthy eating or gyming. Despite a lot of healthy habits it wasn’t enough to keep Johnny from succumbing  to his OCD and mental health issues. Proof that self help just isn’t enough some times and some people need help in other ways – imagine being in self help for 13 years and still unable to help yourself- a stark reminder of those who chose to get in bed with self help gurus a lot of them most likely have bigger problems than you yourself ever will.  I personally had some similar challenges to Johnny with pornography but I never had parental abuse or a prostitution addiction that Johnny had.

    Both Struggled to Maintain social circles or LTR 

    Despite both being dating coaches for  over a decade  I still found it weird that neither had women or a proper social circle to call onto . Tom endured a divorce in his early 20’s and I believe Johnny garnered his first girlfriend from daygame in his mid 20s which ended in a matter of months but I mean if I had been doing daygame for 13 years even poorly I would have at least some women to call upon in my time of need? Johnny seemingly had no one and Tom too. I find this a massive shame but also an example how even the most prominent of dating coaches may themselves have chaotic dating and social lives. Look at how many coaches in the mainstream have undergone divorces – Neil Strauss, Mystery and James Marshall being three obvious names. Ross Jefferies too recently had a breakup – despite being world renowned coaches all of them are seemingly single without a proper LTR. Women aren’t everything but a good ride or die woman can really help you get out of a rut and some can really open the doors to a better life and social circle for you.  The fact that both Tom and Johnny were living in apparent isolation before their deaths- Tom day gaming on his own seemingly for 6 straight months and Johnny vlogging about his gym and OCD alone shows its a shame two seemingly social dating coaches were living in such isolation . Had they had the support of a solid LTR or a social circle then maybe their lives could’ve been saved. 

    Concluding thoughts: 

    It’s a shame that two of the most prominent UK dating coaches have both killed themselves – Tom Torero was a huge influence on my life and whilst I don’t like Johnny’s game it’s clear he had a huge impact too with both my wingmen who coached under him getting success . Their suicides  show the importance of a strong work ethic but more so always be self aware of your problems and really asses them because if you don’t they can consume you. Maybe they were both in too deep of the pua bandwagon to get out of it and I hope they serve as a warning to those getting involved in dating coaching of the risks attaches of staying in the game too long and procrastinating with the issues at hand. But sometimes self help , mediation, gym isn’t enough sometimes it might be deeper psychiatric help or a more refined lifestyle or diet or preparing better for the worse to happen (i.e having a backup plan if the pua/men’s self development scene goes bust which I believe it has) All in all there are deep lessons that I have learnt from Johnny and Tom’s death and I won’t forget the importance of said lessons in my life. Whether or not you were a fan of either they serve a stark reminder of the dark rabbit whole the self development and men’s dating industry can lead to – not to say you shouldn’t get involved in daygame as I believe it’s one of the most wonderful things a man can do – but to be self aware of your issues at hand and real asses and work on them without them consuming you before it’s too late.  

  • Were Dating/Relationship Coaches ever a Sustainable career path – An Analysis: Part 2- Ross Jeffries, Alan Roger Currie, Tony Solo, Ryan Black and Alex León

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Ross Jeffries: 

    I mean I just don’t really understand him . I don’t get the appeal with a fat childless  65 year old with a belly going out there and doing daygame . It’s hard to tell what his real success is or whether he just wrote a book at the right time before day game’s big “ bull run explosion” I don’t get him using seductive terminology to game girls- like “long and thick” to emphasise describing a cock (something he talked about in a interview with John Antony last year) . I wouldn’t be able to pull this shit off without looking like a complete muppet. Im not sold – and his lack of ltr now at aged 65 somewhat showing  .  But having said this – he did accumulate like $500,000 from selling daygame books, he has some good economic and political insight in interviews – he strikes me as an intelligent person HOWEVER I just think his content is half assed and not really applicable to low smv individuals personally which is ironically because physically he himself looks like a low smv individual . I just see him as unnecessary and anyone who’s done daygame for a substantial period of time would see through his bullshit- it’s no wonder Alex Ice White is his biggest admirer who himself has done no daygame – had Ice done actual daygame he’d probably see through the bullshit on offer too. 

    Maybe Ross was a pioneer in the ‘smoke and mirrors” daygame and I put him in the same box as Alex Ice White in that – I have no clue how these people get laid nor do they have any infield to back up their supposed content.  It’s hard to see how good these guys are given they are physically frail- often poorly dressed and in Ross’ case are not currently in a relationship. That being said he’s still a 21 convention speaker, has sold a tonne of books and must’ve had some success with women? Even though beyond the marketing photos I really don’t know the proof. The infield in the Louis Theroux documentary looks staged to me so I really can’t come to firm conclusions as to whether this guy is bullshit or not. I know James Marshall talked about how Ross Jefferies is a creep – the only one who endorses Ross nowadays is Alex Ice White who himself has 0 daygame lays- if Alex Ice White had a daygame lay he would most likely be able to realise Ross’ NLP bs in the interviews. 

    Ross makes an interesting point in his interview with Ice though about how 20 percent or so of his clients in the dating sphere have some form of Asperger’s and where beyond help- having myself had a brother with Asperger’s I understand that it can be borderline impossible to help these people with dating- I know not everyone can succeed and move up the sexual marketplace- most can but not all some have geographical disadvantages , genetic hindrances , neurodevelopment disorders, financial or physical deficiencies that can’t be fixed. (most of these issues can for most people though I believe)  

    My Verdict: I mean considering the money he made – a success , he’s still single and childless now so some might see that as a failure . He’s a controversial figure – I can’t quite figure him out myself so I will leave it to you. His interviews have a couple of gems here and there- but his NLP techniques are a lot of world salad which I would personally never incorporate in my game. 

    Alan Roger Currie

    Currie at the 21 Convention

    This was simply a sad ending from someone whose information didn’t really resonate with me- but I appreciate the success and impact he had. I had an issue with being super direct like he was and would not really be able recreate the level of “directness” he would seemingly impose like telling a woman instantly i’d want to fuck them I think that sort of strategy is too over the top and can lead to more blowouts rather – having said this him dying on 28th November 2022 aged 59 years was a big disappointment and leaving his 2 year old and wife without a father figure- that’s a big kick in the balls. Despite the “alpha”  and encouraging people to be proactive about their problems in life he had a weight problem which he wasn’t proactive enough about seemingly. This sounds harsh but I’m being direct in this instance? When the leaders of this space are telling us to be proactive about things that they themselves are not proactive about it becomes a difficult situation to properly asses . Again similar to Tom Torero and Johnny Berba he had a philosophy of not making excuses and being proactive about solving our problems yet it was his weight problem that Alan seemingly didn’t take the “alpha action for” that eventually proved to be the end of him.

    Him choosing to have a kid so late is also problematic – at 57 with a weight problem only to seemingly die from it at 59. For such a leader in the PUA space with over 200 lays his life had seemingly horrible end and could be seen as a negative of the playboy lifestyle and the problems that said lifestyle could potentially induce.  If he’d stopped the game earlier on- maybe dealt with his health issues head on maybe he’d still be here now with a loving family. By choosing to have a child so late on in his life his health fucked up and now this kid is without a father. I don’t know how many dating coaches actually have gone on the be good parents with the exemption of maybe Paul Janka . Maybe the sex addiction they have fucks them up mentally so they can not commit to building a nuclear family . It certainly feels that way when I analyse James Marshall’s life- and a lot of dating coaches come from a history of divorce prior to dating becoming dating coaches and seemingly then never want to give marriage or family a go . Such as the examples of Marshall and Torero who seemingly never committed to getting married again after their divorce.

    My Verdict: The fact that he died leaving a 2 year old without a father figure is just a tragedy. Yes his book Mode One had an undoubtable global impact but I just can’t view him as a success in my eyes.

    Tony Solo From The Natural Lifestyles :

    Again another guy that appeared to be strange egg. Whilst I admired his discipline during his time in the natural lifestyles there was something very off about him when he started stripping off naked in natural lifestyles videos coaching videos and ranting excessively then deleting his own YouTube channel (which he is now deleted) . The fact that he’s happily married now is at least a positive… At least someone has come out with a sustainable LTR the same can’t be said for others. 

    He had good fitness, dress and seemed to connect well with women in the infield that I watched of him. I could see why James hired him as a coach and he had an enormous work ethic on the field.

    EX-TNL Coach Tony Solo

    My Verdict: A success – I mean he escaped media ridicule – got money from coaching and married to a beautiful girl and is now doing his own thing (which I don’t know what that is )  He had a positive impact on me but I preferred Liam , Alex Leon and James a lot more. 


    Alex León From The Natural Lifestyles: 

    I think he’s an impressive individual – all be it he gets a fair chunk of hate on instagram and the skilled seducer forums- and he does market some trash from time to time like saying “money is only 2 percent of attract BRO” (which I don’t believe in as money is fundamentally an important part of attraction) .   Despite the marketing bullshit and fake instagram following (he has less than 30 likes on some of his photos despite having 8k followers )

    León in 2022

    he was a great replacement for Liam McRae in my eyes and someone who clearly has good social circle building skills ( a lot better than mine will ever be ) I gotta laud the guy- he has an attractive girlfriend (at the time of writing this though she’s not my type) , he’s got great social media game although a bit excessive in terms of pictures with girls.  Now he’s playing it a bit riskier with YouTube clickbait  content like “ watch me rizz up a virgin Arab” I think he’s doing this in a half baked attempt to go viral I just hope it doesn’t end up back firing on him in a way he will end up regret. 

    He appears genuinely good at social circle game- often having photos with people who have millions of followers , pictured on private jets and has clear social leverage which is impressive. He certainly has built the “lifestyle design” element of PUA well something which coaches like Tom Torero ,Sasha Daygame, Yad and Nick Krauser miss the point of IMO when they coach. He also is a social media expert and imo a great example for how to utilise social media to its full effect

    My Verdict: Definitely the strongest coach when it comes to social media and daygame in the modern dating world. He’s adaptable although sometimes can seem like a copy/ clone of Liam Mcrae (heck they even look the same at times) . All in all though I believe he’s the biggest asset of TNL now.

    Ryan Black – Formally of Sasha’s Dating Systems: 

    Sasha Daygame’s once right hand man now turned dating coach and quasi marketing guru .  It’s hard to take his social media posts seriously though. He seemingly has good results though has been accused from other coaches about lying about his results especially from Nick Krauser in his blog here:  https://theredarchive.com/blog/Krauser-PUA/i-spoke-at-the-21convention.27023

    Potential evidence that Ryan Black had been lying about his results

    My Verdict: I mean he seems rich, has a great body and girlfriend all round seems to have benefited greatly from being a daygame coach – whether he’s 100 percent truthful about his back story seems to be in questionable though – he comes across as a self help sort of gimmicky marketer so I really don’t believe he had a harem of model women all over him back in the early 2010s.

  • Johnny Berba (Jonathan O’Halloran) Commits Suicide – My Thoughts 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Johnny Berba (Real name Jonathan O’Halloran) who passed away November 12th 2024 became the second UK dating coach to commit suicide in the span of three years – the first being Tom Torero who passed December 2021 . Johnny was known to have suffered from anxiety, depression,OCD, parental trauma from an abusive dad and financial issues including tax debt (which he talked about on his blog) . In one of his final Youtube videos he was recorded to have said it was difficult to make it through the day highlighting major problems with his OCD . His death marks a dark few years with the manosphere, with Alan Roger Currie , Tom Torero , Kevin Samuels and Coach Redpill all having passed in a short space of time.

    Ill make it clear I am no Johnny Berba fan- but was saddened to hear about his death yesterday morning. I first met Johnny while day gaming in London in 2017 when  a wingman of mine was taking coaching from him and to be honest I wasn’t that impressed with him as an individual- he appeared in pretty mediocre  dress , seemed a bit anxious overall gave off a weird vibe . He complained to me that his interactions weren’t going as well as pre- online dating boom of 2014 with him stating that his reactions were getting considerably worse in 2017-2018 than they were during 2010-2014 – was this due to online dating ruining romantic love or to do with Johnny himself declining as an individual I am not so sure. But “smv” wise I was underwhelmed – my wing who coached under him would note that during sets he would spam approach a huge amount too in Covent Garden at one stage security even got involved – I am not so sure of his social calibration and watching YouTube videos of him he seems a bit agitated and too self-help gimmicky – uploading blow out infields as a sign of authenticity which might be interpreted in some situtions lack of social calibration rather than anything else due to his high “sasha daygame” like aura .  You’d have thought after 10 years in the PUA sphere the guy would’ve at least dressed a bit better and be clean shaven, socially calibrated and not spam so much but maybe I am coming across arrogant and dickish in my analysis . 

    He’s the second British dating coach in the space of three years to commit suicide – Tom and Johnny had similar problems that might have contributed to their deaths- For they both had histories with anxiety and depression and both seemingly could have had financial issues that contributed to their deaths- with Tom’s PayPal account and YouTube blocked after that Danya Hajjaji article that exposed him and his real name. Johnny had financial issues and seemingly a tax burden which he was vocal about on his YouTube . It seemed he was under financial stress burdened with mental health issues this financial stress seemed to make his OCD even worse as he noted in his Youtube dairies. With Tom it was the loss of income streams, with paypal shutting his account , the exposure of his identity online and similar depression issues that drove him to kill himself.  It’s sad to see two British daygame coaches meeting a similar premature fate. I am not Johnny Fan but with 36k YouTube subscribers his influence is obvious and watching his infields in 2017- though not really liking them myself it was clear to see he was inspiring people from reading the comment sections so who gives a fuck what I think. 

    Dating Coaches With Mental Issues become “Life Coaches” and “daygame instructors” 

    What I found hypocritical about the men’s self help dating scene was seemingly men with overburdening mental health issues becoming self help coaches and trying to lead men out of their own dating and sex relationship problems. The whole thing seemed a bit daft to me how Johnny Berba has been making 10-15 years of self help content but was unable to help himself out of a his own mental issues and financial problems. The same could be applied to Tom Torero who was often telling people on his podcasts to man up and take responsibility- this is echoed by Mystery who seemingly looked very depressed in his comeback interviews (albeit of course he had recently lost his mother and sister – plus the loss of custody of his children) For all the “you can do , and never give up bro” these people seemingly gave up and paid the ultimate price . Which begs the question to the people looking up to these guys  If the gurus that I look up-to can’t hold it together themselves is it really worth taking advice or coaching from them? When I met Johnny as I said before I wasn’t impressed there was something off about him- but looking at comments on youtube he was inspiring thousands and my wingmen enjoyed his content and one even hired him for coaching- I disagree with John Anthony’s thesis that Berba was a complete flop of a PUA – he did get results for two people that I winged who were coached under him with but still I saw him as someone who looked drained even seeing him 7 years before his suicide. 

    Drawn Comparisons With The Natural Lifestyle’s EX-Coach Johnathan Neil Thomson 

    Even upon reading James Marshall’s autobiography – one of his top wings Johnathan Thomson had many mental breakdowns and even gave up on an engagement with a woman – this same wingman he hired for a coach who then was very aggressive and strict with James’ clients (which TNL clients would complain about) often in now deleted YouTube videos doing aggressive rants – seemingly 2 years later he was fired by James Marshall for allegedly harming the business – he also does a lot of rants about mental health and mediation on his own instagram page which he still posts to this day. Again this is another example of how even the best – most famous dating coach companies hire people who have themselves got destructive lives and are clearly too mentally unstable to be coaching or are seemingly hypocrites giving advice to people which they themselves aren’t doing . 

    Johnny in his later years seemed himself to have lost weight and seemed to be continually blogging about his life – I’d consider this oversharing , if you have a financial issue why share it with the world it just looks weak and desperate in my opinion and isn’t something that people who are socially calibrated should do. He’d share details about his addictions to porn and prostitution  – this may have drawn him  a lot of clientele but I’d say some problems are best kept anonymously to yourself- also I found it weird how 15 years of pua and dating he seemingly failed to draw proper LTRs in the recent years – maybe his mental health was a reason behind the relationships failing to hold for the long term. It seems that the likes of him , Mystery , Ross Jefferies have failed to lock in a proper LTR despite years of study and coaching on dating. His consistency in the gym didn’t seem to be helping out either despite him making improvements to his body he still came across looking rough in the last few years which he’s been releasing content. He most definitely  needed some psychiatric help with his OCD which he was unable to control – for me personally my mental health issues were solved with infrared sauna , clean diet and exercise – Infrared Sauna for me personally got rid of approach anxiety. Im not sure if this is an adequate cure for OCD but it seemed that Johnny was very isolated for someone who should be a social dating coach he seemed to have few friends that could be with him at a time of need and no woman there to support him which again I find odd- even Torero after sleeping with 100s of women seemingly didn’t have one to take care of him in his time of need. 

    Dangers of Falling Behind in your Social Life 

    It was clear that Johnny had a rough life – issues with mental health and seemingly a lack of social awareness – his excessive sharing of his private life for me was one thing that made me feel like he wasn’t right in the head. But for men today social isolation at a young age, trauma and abuse has its costs further down the line- if men can’t build and form relationships with other men, if they can’t build solid relationships with women , if they can’t get their finances in order than this can leave them being vulnerable. For me personally my failure to land a proper girlfriend until my 4 year of daygame in 2022 aged 28 – I had realised I’d missed on a lot of social opportunities – luckily through daygame some of those social opportunities were resurrected and now i finally have a loving girlfriend but I was still very lonely from the ages of 16-24 and I do regret not doing daygame earlier on – it would’ve made my life a lot easier today. For many men they miss out on these opportunities and resort to porn or prostitution to fill the void – to give them the illusion of love and  a sense of belonging (especially those with video game addictions)  Falling behind has consequences and getting back on the bandwagon can be tough for some and maybe impossible to get back on that horse- either starting too late or just being too anxious and procrastinating, making excuses so to never start at all.  Johnny’s death has reminded me of the importance to keep going, to show mental strength and vigour and continuing to improve my social circle and my SMV – I don’t have mental health issues but I am also aware that its important for those who do to seek help and support- my thoughts on anti depressants? I think I really don’t know enough to have an opinion but know that they can have some really bad side effects sometimes the cure can be worse than the disease but of course it varies from person to person . 

    Concluding Thoughts : 

    I think its tough to analyse this as I don’t know about OCD, I think that might not have been the only thing to take him into suicide as there was also the issue of his financial issues and the history of depression and anxiety both of which had plagued Tom Torero in the past too. But it should be known that whoever you look up in life everyone has their problems and their issues – a lot of dating coaches out there have mental problems heck even Jordan Peterson much loved by the manosphere is hooked on antidepressants and opioids. You only got one life to live so continually seek to improve it so you never end up indebted and alone like Johnny did- its a ruthless world out there and takes a lot of determination to survive it and don’t ever take what you have for granted. I am not a Johnny Berba fan but with 33k Youtube subscribers and seeing his clients get genuine success his impact is undeniable. It may not have been to the heights of Tom Torero and he most definitely lacked the Social Suave of The Natural Lifestyles but his impact will live long in the lives of many.

  • Areas to Game and date  Around  South Of France – The Complete Guide – Nice, Antibes, Monaco and  Cannes 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    With my parents having owned an apartment in Nice since I was young I had the privilege of going there every Summer since I was about 6 – I’ve drawn up a list of areas to daygame there for people to follow – most of the cities like Cannes and Antibes are pretty easy to navigate without the need for much explanation – as soon as you get off the bus or train the foot flow and the dating spots are pretty much there. 

    Why the South Of France- The Advantages : 

    • Events like the Cannes Film Festival in May and Numerous Summer Events in like Horse show jumping in Monaco attract a pool of attractive women all year round. 
    • Huge mix of women – from Vietnamese, Chinese , Filipinos to a huge amount of Russian and Ukrainians- Cannes also attracts a huge amount of Arabs if that’s your thing (Same sort of women as Knightsbridge in London 
    • Beautiful women everywhere- Monaco and Cannes have the highest quality women in West Europe – the quality dicks on that of the UK in my opinion . 
    • Cities are easy to walk through and the foot flow/ dating locations is condensed – you don’t have to travel around to get that volume like a lot of American cities for example. 
    • Cheap flights from the UK – although accommodation can be expensive especially in Monaco- probably one of the most expensive places on the planet for real estate.  Travelling any major European city in off peak you should enjoy 50 percent off in hotels relatively. 

    Disadvantages: 

    • Expensive – for hotels I recommend staying in Nice if you’re really on an a budget staying in Nice and taking a train or bus into Moncao/Cannes seems to optimal route although I might be a logistical nightmare as those cities are roughly 1 hour transport away. So make sure you plan logistics in advance with the girls you’re dating. 
    • Competitive- I mean any place full of high value women usually In turn is full of high value men for example you get a lot of the top tier women in Knightsbridge in turn you get top tier women around that wealth. This isn’t a place where you can just be a passport bro akin to Brazil or China – you’re going to need some game and approaching skills here. 
    • Language can be an issue if you’re into the French girls but really theres a mix of Chinese, Russians , Germans, Americans and they usually speak good English anyway . This isn’t a situation like Brazil where not learning the local language can prove a huge disadvantage. 

    Monaco: 

    Advantages: Monaco is a city with decent foot flow all year round like you can come here peak off season and there will still be a foot flow of some tourists outside the Cafe De Paris area- There’s always someone to approach here- the same can’t be said for places like Cannes or Villefranche – areas that rely on tourist inflow in the peak months and are relatively quiet in the off peak seasons . Moncao is bustling all the time – especially in the Summer the foot flow is fantastic with a mix of races if you love your Russians, Chinese etc. Monaco has something for everyone especially near the May Cannes summer festival months a lot of high value women roam here- the only draw back is you do get a lot of married women setting up shop here but nonetheless there are still great opportunities . 

    Date Ideas- again i emphasise there are so many bars and cafes concentrated in Monaco and Cannes in a small area it should be relatively straight forward to find two or three date locations near each other

    Wine Palace -Monaco
    • Speciality Coffee shop in Monaco- Costadoro Social Coffee Monaco – this place is tranquil, very intimate and quiet ideal for a first date in Monaco and somewhere i highly recommend.  
    • Places for drinks near the beach. – Crazy Pizza- This is a pizza restaurant but does drinks and coffee also – location wise is good – maybe a good location for second bounce after the first coffee date  
    • Cafe de Paris- obviously this place is over priced as shit and there’s probably better options in Cannes but its not a bad date location or a good place for a second bounce and drinks maybe too crowded for a real intimate date which is why i prefer Crazy Pizza.
    • Wine Palace Monaco – Again this place looks fancy but its got good intimate seating and is a great place to grab a drink
    • Grubers Burgers Monaco- I only recommend this place if you need a cheap food date spot in Monaco for a second bounce its a burger joint but has lots of good sofa seating and is adjacent to a load of bars – they do delicious truffle burgers – https://monaco.ilovegrubers.com/
    Crazy Pizza Monaco- Great Place to Grab a drink

    Cannes– 

    You can game anywhere near the station – in the Summer months from May- August this place is rammed with tourists and the beaches are too. Although in off peak this place has the potential to be absolutely dead- you’re better off in Nice or  Monaco during those times.  There’s also a huge amount of restaurants in a small concentration all serving alcohol you don’t really need advice of where to go as they’re all next to each other- it’s possible to rack up 3-4 locations without walking more than 200 meters .  Cannes has foot flow all year round with the exception of off peak Sundays – but even then on a Sunday you can find decent foot flow in Antibes pretty much all year round whether its Australian backpackers or students traveling through Nice. 

    Costadoro Social Coffee- Monaco

    Date Ideas for Cannes : 

    Saddle – A good Coffee shop near the station- an ideal first date spot , nothing to fancy- maybe bounce her to a restaurant after for drinks. It’s an Arab influenced shop so be warned its not the place where you are going to rapid escalate on someone but it’s a nice pitstop to say the least and in the French sun it’s one of my favourite cafe’s in Cannes. 

    Saddle-Cannes

    Armani Caffe – Again another decent coffee shop in Cannes – there are coffee places and wine bars everywhere in this area- should be easy to find a good wine bar / cafe on your accord.  The beaches around the Armani Coffee shop is full of foot flow especially in the summer months. 

    Itineraire Cafe- Cannes

    Itinéraire Café – Cannes – My favourite coffee shop in Cannes- nice and intimate and next to loads of wine bars for second and third bounce locations.

    Armani Caffe – Cannes

    Antibes :

    Antibes usually has good foot flow  all year around and is worth visiting for daygame- there’s also a lot of coffee shops scattered around the city the only disadvantage is that its condensed small bit a foot flow so I recommend gaming here no more than 1-2 days and spending the bulk of your time in Cannes , Nice and Monaco for the greater foot flow. There’s like 5-10 decent bars and cafes all within 200 metres of one another so you’re in good hands with finding bounces for your dates.  

    Areas to Game in Nice: 

    Massive mall right next to the beach and Airport Cap 3000 is logistically a fantastic spot to do daygame in the South of France with big footfall all year round
    • Cap 3000- massive shopping mall and on the weekends this place is packed – off peak or on peak its an active place which you’ll enjoy – majority of people in this mall are usually French whilst the other cities of Cannes and Monaco are more diverse .
    • Nice City Centre – Avenue Jean Medicine area – has people all year round – strongly recommended even if you’re gaming on off seasons 
    • You can take the No. 15 bus from the Nice city centre to nearby cities like Villefranche  to do daygame there- Villefranche is pretty packed in the Summer months with a strong concentration of American tourists too although it is dead in the off peak months.
    • For date locations my go to coffee shop is the Malongo -Jean Medecin-Nice , great cafe with good seating and adjacent to many wine bars for a second date bounce.
    Malongo -Nice Cafe Jean Medicine-

  • Zan Perrion- The Alabaster Girl (2013) Book Review 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    One of the original coaches from Neil Strauss’ “The Game” Zan Perrion released the Alabaster Girl in 2013 a 21 convention Speaker and one of the true old g’s along with Neil Strauss, Mystery and Ross Jefferies – he’s also done collabs podcasts with the likes of James Marshall. Definitely one of the defining coaches out there in the pua space now seemingly based in Romania and I believe married – remarkably enough he’s the only coach from the book “The Game” to actually be in a relationship at the time of writing this blog in 2024 maybe a testament to how tough the dating space has become in fact I’d go to say out of all my book reviews I’ve written and coaches I’ve analysed at the time of writing I believe only Liam Mcrae and Rollo Tomassi are the only ones actually in married relationships now. Zan’s opinion of long term relationships are interestingly very negative similar to that of Tom Torero- often indicating that partner’s and Ltrs can breed complacency. 

    Anyway I believe Zan to be a good public speaker , he comes across charismatic and very “spiritual” . He looks after himself , is in good shape  has a likeable persona . His backstory is similar to many of struggles and insecurities around women. He tackles issues well and upfront in his speeches regarding approach anxiety, the pussification of men in todays era – stating that our ancestors would go to war , fight with bears etc. and we are too pussy now to open women because we are scared they might reject us? He has the same sort of philosophy on this sort of thing as Sasha Daygame did in his speeches. Although Zan argues his point with a bit more charisma, a bit of “spiritual finesse” 

    I’d argue Zan is a much better speaker than he is a writer- this book is easily the hardest to follow book in the pickup artist genre, whilst Liam Mcrae,  Tom Torrero, Nick Krauser all lay out their insights in a clear – easy to follow manner Zan’s book comes across incredibly disjointed – there’s one passionate interaction with a Polish woman which ends in him getting the number and her agreeing to date then the chapter just ends right there- and you’re wondering what happened. It seems almost like a confusing albeit passionate writing style of some victorian British novel rather than a dating coach giving genuine advice. I agree with some critics like John Anthony that Zan comes across too woo woo at times. For a beginner this would just confuse the hell out of me and from a  linguistic structural perspective its very easy to get lost in the direction of this book – its not an easy read compared to Liam Mcrae, Tom Torero and Nick Krauser’s book- there is little advice on how to make interactions better nor is their advice to stay active in the field and how to optimise dates. 

    Zan has  one or two decent tips in the book like Treating women the same whether you are attracted to them or not- I think this is important in winning rapport in group sets and I’ve founded when I was giving energy in sets and interesting in conversing with everyone my results with attractive women did go up as a result . Zan said in his 21 convention speech that every woman has beauty – because their parents will see them as a 10 and that’s a fair enough point. I agree in respecting everyone – I’ve seen a lot of arrogant guys in the field that “only approach 10s” and the reality is they end up approaching no one and get stuck in a stubborn arrogant rut. 

    Conclusions: 

    One amazon review described Zan as a great guy, a very likeable person but a so-so as a writer I think that sums him up pretty well – Zan seems to be stuck in a poetic passion for women in this book and doesn’t seem to be self aware enough to understand that this might confuse some of his readership – I certainly found myself drifting off mid way through the book- waiting for a lay report or some interesting date stories but it never seems to happen – all in all this was confusing for me – but Zan’s passion is evident a more simplification and better writing style and I think he could’ve had the potential to write a “The Game” or James Marshall’s “A Natural History” but he lacks the ability and for beginners and those not into a Victorian England Poetic writing style this will be a tough slog and will be unlike any of the lay reports that the likes of Liam Mcrae Tom Torero or Nick Krauser write about. I still admire Zan as an individual and believe his 21 convention speeches hold great value, he also has done good reddit AMAS but in this book he seems trapped in his poetic passion for women in a way that makes it somewhat impractical to explain his seduction style or give good advice. Overall if you’re looking for something to ramp up your  passion in women then this might be good for you – if not then just watch Zan’s 21 convention speeches – I believe other 21 convention speakers like Marshall, Liam Mcrae, Tom Torero  wrote great books that added a lot of extra value on-top of their fantastic 21 convention speeches. In Zan’s case it’s different- his book brings about nothing new that his speeches don’t already cover- there’s not much extra insight here and its a lot harder to follow than his speeches – overall that’s what makes this a big miss for me. 

    Score 4/10 

    To buy – The Alabaster Girl- https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-The-Alabaster-Girl/dp/B0BX4MTGML/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2QTGXVO344KHZ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.7ATo4THEHebjIBGVdw5yCg.Y_8PK6aca4z63Mu2EoaW8fIEIKdfH30Llr6BreiKA68&dib_tag=se&keywords=zan+perrion+the+alabaster+girl&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1730787692&sprefix=zan+perrion+the+alabaster+gi%2Caps%2C353&sr=8-1

    https://www.amazon.com/Audible-The-Alabaster-Girl/dp/B0BX4MSSVP/ref=sr_1_1?crid=16STPYU10F6DG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.M43n-reOsHN72ncyojurF9FgXU18pfUYjyn-W05Ka6ELVktoVBfoAabQSfvBGQv4L45AjOA_hbqwJSxg_esw6LOC564Lj93fsbgkoJDQ6qc-SkEPx4D6oVO6E4GO4ckKUfL1h6tda5KAzGdcafrw9rpvCb2Jwlo2lM7nlNb9KjVXED1uSpEysGrEoEggTsqOLX7JlZkV6AkQ7X_wryvs2acJwSJ6LO1j0yTXlUTUXqk.NDecTsv7T4aqztjycZKsvSjNo5ZPNlzRpj7tzhj1PqQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+alabaster+girl&qid=1730787741&sprefix=the+alabaster+%2Caps%2C420&sr=8-1

  • Tanner Guzy – The Appearance of Power: How Masculinity is Expressed Through Aesthetics (2017) Book Review

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    As far as I am aware there’s never been a real pivotal men’s self development fashion coach up until I saw Tanner’s first ever speech at the 21 convention which was around 2017 or 2018 I can’t remember when exactly . Tanner comes across in these speeches as well spoken , seems to live an active lifestyle with numerous hobbies and business successes which I listed in my other blog post analysing him here-  https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/10/28/were-dating-relationship-coaches-ever-a-sustainable-career-path-an-analysis-part-1-sasha-daygame-liam-mcrae-james-marshall-tanner-guzy-tom-torero-where-are-they-now/

    He has endured a lot – the passing of his brother and two gut wrenching divorces that has lead him to having to fight for the custody of his 6 children – despite his big successes in business, his hundreds of thousands of youtube views I wouldn’t want to be in his position now – he’s often bigged up marrying young and starting families young but with two divorces behind his belt it’s tough to see whether or not his ideas hold up. He seemingly has a lot of religious delusion on his instagram which as a middle eastern atheist who fled religious persecution to come to the UK I’ve personally had enough of people who used religion to come “save them” or help them to go through a divorce when the reality is they just married an ungrateful hoe that they shouldn’t have. Which is the way I view Tanner Guzy’s marriage – after the millions of YouTube views , the seemingly 7 figures of revenue he generated and 6 children his woman still divorced him? Seems fucking nuts and why am I talking about this in a book review well to show men’s self development coaches can still lead tough lives even when it seems they can do no wrong or even when they achieve a lot. It also shows the dangers of religious delusion –  the come back of the conservative Mormon Christian even with success attributed to a higher power divorces can still loom and let’s face it – nearly all men’s self development coaches seem to be in divorces nowadays whether it be Neil Strauss, Tom Torero , Nick Krauser , Mystery, James Marshall , Anthony Johnson – the list is endless and does beg the question where to men turn to for long term relationship success when the coaches themselves can’t find one? Of course this has little to do with the book content but this is a PUA blog – I am going to skew my analysis based on a dating/PUA perspective.

    I think Tanner’s value to the manosphere is definitely undoubtedly there . I mean for too long men have seen dress as effeminate  – gay or whatever – personally I struggled with fashion up till age 20 when a woman in my university class said I dressed like shit- she was right. I actually got bullied a fair bit for my poor dress at university – often by other women who’d accuse my clothes and style as being trampy and in high school when I tried to make a matching uniform or something that looked good I’d get called “gay” by other men. 

    What I think this book lacked was actual examples of where fashion could make a difference- despite offering some experiments and analysis . From a pua perspective ( and I know tanner an’t no pua fanboy) but there have been interesting studies comparing how women see an average guy well dressed compared to a male model in a McDonald’s outfit- I think Tanner could’ve done something like that to serve as an important example but he doesn’t which for me was disappointing . Sasha Daygame and James Marshall once ran infield together in which Sasha himself saw an improvement in results when he wore better clothes showing the positives of a proactive case study with real life results and action in the field

    “Of course cues and classifications can be worn but they’re always going on in the background . It’s up to us to use the conscious , intentional parts of our brain to override or adhere to the signals we/re picking up on from everyone around us.”  – In many ways he picks up perfectly how women usually react when someone approaches them in a daygame or  night game situation – women are constantly scanning and are programmed to look for any perceived signals of threat – I’d argue they are more conscious and  better pre programmed to determine these  things than men- so how you act, your posture and of course your fashion can definitely come into play towards winning rapport and minimising risk of blow outs.

    Tanner discusses experiences in the books and discusses “Enclothed Cognition” and how it can help our own perception of ourselves – with the main conclusion being “that we can draw from the studies that the influence of wearing a piece of clothing depends on both its symbolic meaning and the physical experience of wearing clothes”  Showing that those who wore a doctor’s jacket were able to focus their minds as a result of wearing the garment- I definitely agree here – for me personally better clothing helped boost my confidence and self esteem – often I found poorly dressed wingmen or pua’s often had the most issues with their game and lacked the most self awareness- indeed when I was a virgin and struggling with dating my dress sense was horrific and I looked feasibly lost and low in confidence . When I changed my style and added a bit more muscle my night game  results in 2013-2016 definitely saw a significant improvement-  I got more makeouts and actually ended up losing my virginity in 2014 aged 21 – had I dressed better earlier on in my life I think  I would’ve had at least some tangible benefit in my dating life – although my approach anxiety was still the main problem and the self hurt I felt after dealing with rejection – the mental burden of having to approach a lot once I got that under control clothing definitely enhanced my game. I also grew up in England where I’d say the attitude towards dress was pretty lazy- in the summers I spent them in the South Of France at my Parent’s flat there men there were generally better dressed. 

    When I started doing daygame in late 2017 I realised how much better dressed foreign women were compared to the English ones who I approached during night game when I was at  university  in Manchester –  there was a stark difference and from my 2nd ever daygame lay – a Taiwanese woman I really appreciated how well she took care of her appearance. Something that I never thought about in high school – maybe because the men and women around me dressed so plainly or because any sign of looking after your dress was seen or depicted as effeminate or maybe we generally lack direction in the West when it comes to looking after ourselves.

    In fact in London most of the white English females had been displaced – replaced by Chinese students, Hong Kongers, Arabs and Russians predominately – all these cultures seemed to dress a hell of a lot better than Canadians,Americans and of Course the British.  Maybe the west has lost its umpfh – even during my times travelling around the US where the majority of my family live I saw a lot of wealthy individuals poorly dress and seemingly given up on their own health. In contrast the Russians , Chinese , Arabs seemed more appearance conscious and immaculately dressed in London – something I always appreciated while doing daygame in London in fact the interactions with these cultures motivated me to take my fashion more seriously and look after my health more . Again a benefit of PUA and cold approach is it opens you up to cultures that you were destined to meet – as a middle eastern man living in London with social circles predominantly made up of caucasians and Middle Easterners I never really appreciated the beauty of dressing well until I approached women that themselves looked after their appearance – which is more predominant in cultures outside the west in my opinion.

    Tanner is quick to point out though that “ Dressing well and having good body language won’t make up for being socially incompetent , morally corrupt , or emotionally stunted” Of course from a daygame perspective you’re going to have to have other components nailed down. Just being well dressed isn’t going to draw women into you unless you’re on a beach in Thailand – Pataya maybe it might bring the odd gold-digger here and there but It doesn’t guarantee you anything – I know well dressed wings, rich wings even handsome wings who’ve struggled because their other components of game weren’t in place. Being socially incompetent or emotionally stunted is also a big turn off for a lot of women – of course daygame tends to attract a lot of autistic individuals in particular people with Asperger’s who even with good dress are seemingly fucked when the woman realises that the man in question is emotionally incompetent. Not to say autistic individuals can’t succeed in daygame- but a lot of them have the deck stacked against them. 

    “ A woman’s beauty becomes a subconscious way for men to jockey for position and status amongst ourselves” Definitely see it as a fair point especially analysing this from a pua perspective – women’s beauty is defiantly something to strive for for men – in black and white terms – as Tanner says we believe the best man gets the hottest girl  – he dwells into a bit of comparison to the importance of appearance in men and women- the differences in value that both bring here- nothing transformative and a little a kin to Rollo Tomassi’s Rational male but still decent. 

    Tanner is against  women dressing men because they have different objectives  – I am personally not – in fact in 2014 – I had my female uni class mate style me and my night game results improved drastically and I stopped being insulted by women for the way I dressed but I was actually receiving compliments on my dress sense for the first time in my life at 21. Of course it depends on the woman who dresses you- in 2021 I dated a fashion stylist from South China – Guangzhou and she did an immaculate job in dressing me well and this once again improved the results and compliments I got from how I was perceived by other women. A good percentage of  day gamers I met  say around 50 percent were poorly dressed and didn’t have any female friends to redirect or improve this facet of their lives and I believe they could’ve done with any sort of stylist which would have markedly improved their situation – I see it as a “better than nothing “ situation.  In James Marshall’s book “ a natural history” James discusses how his best wingmen were always immaculately dressed and compliments them on how the influence of said wingmen help him . Liam Mcrae’s old YouTube videos were also an influence of my fashion when he talks about investing in expensive clothing which can pay off in the long run and the importance of good fashion – he also documents how in his early life his poor quality fashion and image cost him dates and caused him flakes. The Natural Lifestyles actually had a female stylist who’s before and after YouTube videos on TNL students had a pretty obvious she had a positive effect .  Overall the influence on men’s style whether it be from a female or a male can be positive from a Pua perspective and if you have females in your social circle they can be invaluable to dressing you and I’d say most women in the UK have a better direction in terms of dressing well than men especially in the pick up artist scene.  

    Tanner Makes a good point midway through the book: 


    “ From a purely rational perspective – the man who looks more physically imposing may not be smarter, more qualified, or better suited for a given task, but our DNA runs deep and that Halo Effect we discussed earlier is very real. By looking stronger and more imposing , you will be given more deference, authority, respect and admiration..” 

    I think this points out to the importance of ascetics in Pua- it won’t  guarantee you by any means but it will make life a lot easier if you dress better – you will most likely get less blow outs too if you have a good physique – women will most likely trust you more. This doesn’t mean getting a six pack is going to get you laid all the time-  but it does make life easier for you-  certainly I realised my results drastically improved when I improved my dress. 

    Tanner goes through some interesting concepts like colours and their contrasts, I can’t really comment on this stuff as I am a big newbie when it comes to this sort of thing but it for newbies this is helpful and somewhat innovative as I believe the majority of wingmen in the Pua space never really had their fashion together or understood the importance of colour contrasts and how that could help their outfits. 

    In the last chapter of the book Tanner is against the outsourcing of your style- but for me personally having benefited from being dressed by women I’ve dated who worked as stylists I disagree- and in the Pua space most men dress so poorly and have no sense of identity with who they are that outsourcing it alone to female friend would be a big  improvement on what they are doing now .  I think most men really don’t give a shit and even a lot of dating coaches like Sasha Daygame or Nick Krauser never really dressed that well – Tom Torero himself had the leather jacket fuck boy look which most of the London daygame model followed everyone seemed to have more or less the same identity and could’ve done with someone to push them into a different direction. I think some people who like mannequin’s for a stylist could still look better than the majority of people out there in the Pua-sphere. 

    Tanner concludes with some important points regarding the consistency principle “One of the reasons improving ourselves can be so difficult is because we see any major change not as progress but as inconsistency”  – Again this can be applied to a Pua’s journey- once I started doing daygame I was seen as different from my friendship peers- when I started dressing better I wasn’t judged so much at university in comparison to high school when I was taunted as being “gay” when I tried to make some effort with my outfit- as a result of those taunts I never put any efforts into my dress till I was about aged 20.  Tanner also highlights that a lot of men are Hard wired to resist the kind of drastic change in people’s own lives “ Rather than recognise it for the improvement that it is , we retire back to our desire for consistency- even if we try to hide our desire for comfort by the use of more noble sounding terms like “authenticity” and “individualism”” Again I’ve seen this excuse from dating coaches- Sasha Daygame himself never dressed well claiming he was being authentic- but his “authenticity” itself was just his weakness and lack of desire to change. He was a dating coach but wasn’t putting effort into his dress and obviously being lazy but used “authenticity” as an excuse not to improve – and I see a lot of spiritual individuals use God or being “authentic” as an excuse not to self improve. 

    Conclusions – 

    Overall this book is balanced well with a lot of ideas that can help budding pick up artists improve their fashion and guide them towards being better in the field. Tanner has something for every man in this book and whilst I disagree with his ideology on marriage and religion I think he offers a lot of value. There’s never been a male “fashion influencer” in the men’s self development space. Tanner is the first to be this and he does the job well- aside from some shitty advice on marriage and religion  on instagram I think he adds a lot of value. Is it oversimplified at times? Maybe but equally his discussion on men’s taste- chapter 10  does seem overcomplicated at least from my perspective .  I think Tanner is worth following on instagram to reinforce the ideas and create inspiration for men to maintain their fashion and their looks because those attributes do make a difference in Pua whether we like them or not and for some newbies that I met in the Tom Torero meet-up in 2019 I felt a lot of beginner daygamers could do with basic fashion improvements and that said improvements would lead to plausible improvements in their dating results – some may require guidance and convincing though and I believe Tanner’s book maybe just the tonic they need.

    Score: 8/10

    To buy “The Appearance of Power” By Tanner Guzy – https://www.amazon.com/Appearance-Power-Masculinity-Expressed-Aesthetics/dp/1979138400

    UK Link- https://www.amazon.co.uk/Appearance-Power-Masculinity-Expressed-Aesthetics-ebook/dp/B0778QQWQC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=5E8UO1KGMSXB&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.AFccrJgfslNP9PHFKu_aciZQC-J4xvHNQu2AUZllzRA.vBK2tUVKcj5TJ1ZbhhP3yWrEySvRzqb2eRJZZPQkj1Y&dib_tag=se&keywords=tanner+guzy&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1730714584&sprefix=tanner+guzy+%2Caps%2C366&sr=8-1

  • Were Dating/Relationship Coaches ever a Sustainable career path – An Analysis: Part 1-Sasha Daygame, Liam McRae, James Marshall, Tanner Guzy , Tom Torero Where are they now?

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Sasha Daygame

     I will probably write a separate blog post on spirituality and daygame sometime in the near future. But most people in the dating world should be well aware of Sasha daygame’s impact.  Whilst some people on SoSauve and the Skilled Seducer forums dislike him for being too immature , dressing badly and overly being an excessive lunatic at times it’s undoubtable that he had a big impact on the men’s dating world . His 21 convention speeches are still widely well received clocking up 100ks of views and its hard to detest that he didn’t have a positive impact. 

    Despite his poor dress and grooming Sasha Daygame’s. talks are still widely received with positive acclaim

    But he still retired 2016ish and would often go heavily down the spiritual bath- I think some of his ideas like purchasing bitcoin were good and added genuine value. But his constant obsession with spirituality now, his poor dress and general woo woo religious demeanour makes him hard to take seriously now.  I’d say Sasha Daygame was one of the influences who actually drove me away from religion – through him I saw spirituality as an excuse somewhat for laziness and lack of maturity. You’d think after being in the dating game for 20 years he’d learn to dress well.

    Sasha Appears to Look pretty woeful in this 2023 picture of him

    But whatever you think of Sasha he racked up the views, he had great entrepreneurship success with James Marshall , Liam McRae and the rest of the natural lifestyles. I definitely agree with him on Covid being a scam- he promoted bitcoin during it’s infancy however he did recently dm me promoting shitcoins which i thought was a bit strange.

    Sasha Daygame Promoting shitcoins in my DM in 2024

    Success or No?

    Most likely yes- I don’t think he is an elite daygamer by any means but someone who at least put himself out there- all be it I believe his popularity was more due to the lack of competition in dating coaching rather than his ability or skillset plus his whacky demeanour was very marketable . He seems to have declined physically somewhat and turned into a spiritual loon akin to Roosh V – would I like to end up like this? Most simply no.

    Tom Torero

    An example of maybe taking things to far- but then again he was dedicated . Torero was dominating the daygame scene from 2010 onwards and continued to make content up until his death in late 2021 through his podcasts and now deleted youtube channel .  Again his career path gave him the fame but taking it so seriously probably is what ended up killing the man.  Maybe his dedication to making supreme content was a little bit too much- after all voice  recording the moment you take a Polish girl’s virginity can come across as excessive . Did he deserve death for this? No but the media campaign killed his mode of income with his  PayPal and WhatsApp being canceled. I cover his death to a greater extent here:  https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/06/08/assessing-tom-toreros-death-two-years-on-thoughts/

    Maybe if he was a little bit better at covering his tracks and knowing the direction the media were taking against PUA and daygame especially the crusade they’ve been on since 2018 but he didn’t really do enough and as a result once the main stream media found out about everything his career and livelihood was f’ed.  Showing the work ethic and dedication  to be one of the world’s best day gamers was what finished him off eventually showing that this is not really a “you get what you put in “ career path-  the more content you seemingly make the more vulnerable you are open to attack from the MSM. 

    Success or Not ?

    Arguably anyone who choses to off himself is a tragic ending- he inspired thousands and leads a legacy today even in his death. Still on the pua blogs and men’s self development forums many people discuss his ideas and his influences. His influence is undoubted – but even having lots of women was seemingly not enough to save him. Maybe a tragic example of the limitations of dating coaching in the modern world – or simply don’t record infield that leaves you vulnerable to a MSM attack. I’d say he was a resounding success given the influence he had on many of my wingmen but still a sad story nonetheless- I don’t think we will ever get a “New Tom Torero” or any leader of the dating realm with such an inspiring work ethic as him .

    Yad Daygame

    Everyones favourite obese Iranian Kurd – Yad was a phenomenon in the early 2010s – he announced his retirement at some stage between 2021-2022 Im not to sure of the exact year. He drew a name for himself of being a fat ugly obese guy that was able to pick up chicks – an inspiration to many average /below average looking guys that men with low SMV had the ability to date out of their league. His background majoring in a degree  from Royal Holloway – he’s seen as an icon of the London Daygame model- He was an example that looks are an excuse- a man with a relentless drive and work ethic. 

    There are videos on the net that mock him and his playful attitude but I still see him as an inspiration to PUA community whilst I feel its somewhat uninspired and misled is this fallacy that low smv men can consistently date out of their league in areas where the competition is tough. Im yet to really see something like this that can honestly convince me this is true  all things considered – is there an example of truly ugly men that have thrived in the dating world – most the mainstream coaches all had some value to some degree- whether it be a British passport (which Yad does have) or height , some sort of handsome looks when you look at James Marshall and Paul Janka. There’s always at least SOMETHING there for the coaches to have had. I m yet to see a credible dating coach come from the third world and really thrive- Yad still has some smv in that he’s a British Citizen and reasonably well educated. Maybe his disadvantages could be misleading to some people in thinking you can be a lazy slob and be good at pickup? On the other hand it showed that people with disadvantages could still get results even with a competitive dating environment. 

    The fact that he retired could have been an indication that he was either A. Tired of doing daygame having approached chicks for decades. B. The Rise of the me too movements may have killed the momentum and made it harder for him to get clients. C. The rise of the red pill made it harder to market a fat bum as someone who could date and fuck hot chicks. D. The revenue and interests in dating coaches isn’t there as much as it once was ( and James Marshall’s declining sales prove this) It could have been a combination of the 4 but  I see it as no coincides that the timing of his retirement coincided with the fall of RSD, The fall of Tom Torero and the decline in TNL. Of course I don’t have Yads website data so I have no clue what’s really going on – most of this blog is just blindness -ill thought out speculation any. 

    Success or Not?

    I’d say he’s a success – he maybe ridiculed now but he cashed in and made bang for his buck and seemingly left the industry unscathed other than a few online trolls. The guy was at least proactive and set an example for below average guys to actually do something and get out there.

    Liam McRae

    Honestly i see Liam McRae as the dating coach ideal- he came – sold a bunch of high ticket coaching to clients and left and seemingly married a model out of his daygame ventures – he is the ideal that we aspire to in the dating world . I have discussed Liam at Length in previous posts discussing his published books here: https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/10/25/liam-mcrae-rapid-escalation2013-book-review/

    Liam McRae: The Limitless Seducer Book Review
    Liam’s Wife Jessic_enqvist commenting on Liam’s IG

    Probably one of the few examples were a dating coach has succeeded and done what he set out to do – improve his dating results and settle down and marry a hot model wife . His two books Rapid Escalation and The Limitless Seducer were massive influences of mine as well as his Youtube content (which is now all deleted though) He lived the dream – the proof is in the pudding and as far as I am aware Liam is a desert buffet.

    Success or Not

    I guess from every perspective he’s a success in my eyes however one could argue the fact that most his content is no longer around is a shame but I guess it was his choice and probably a wise one to protect him and his partner from future media ridicule akin to Tom Torero.

    James Marshall

    The Natural Lifestyles fan or not it’s hard to disregard the impact of James Marshall even though his company isn’t making as many sales as it once was he built a fantastic team , garnered a very respectable 350k Youtube subs and accumulated millions of views . Bouncing back from divorce and 6 figure loses in business James has shown an incredible mental fortitude and resilience to build what he’s built. His book and 21 convention speeches are by far the most impactful content of dating I’ve ever watched in my life and I highly recommend them: https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/10/12/james-marshalla-natural-history-the-seduction-journals-of-james-marshall-book-review/

    The majority of my wingmen too have enjoyed his content although some argue he’s a very goodlooking guy that has some what used his looks to garner dating success and i think this is a decent argument but he still put the work in doing 1000s of approaches nonetheless.

    Success or No?

    Despite his current business issues which i talked about here :https://mindful-masculinity.org/2024/06/05/assessing-the-fall-of-james-marshalls-the-natural-lifestyles/

    He was able to make dating coaching his sustainable career for something like 20 years or so undoubtedly I consider James Marshall a success by most means. He has a farm in Portugal, a flat in Budapest and has lived a life full of adventure it’s hard to think of someone who’s made better monetary success from pickup ( Simple Pickup aside ) His wingmen the likes of Liam Mcrae, Alex Leon, James Mclean, Tony Solo , Sasha Daygame , Robbie Kramer , John Thomsen , all have had positive influences in the dating world today arguably all of these people have been heavily influenced by James’ mentorship. He not only is a fantastic daygamer but one who was able to pass off his knowledge successfully to others.

    Tanner Guzy

    Everyone’s favourite Christian Mormon of the manosphere Tanner Guzy comes onto the list – look I know he’s not a dating coach per say but he still falls under the category of a man’s lifestyle coach most notably in teaching men how to dress – i still see his work as an invaluable example for men to improve their baseline smv something which a lot of my wingmen have struggled in the past has been the basic dress sense. Whilst he is twice divorced he has achieved a huge amount in his life already having some 6 children ( a men’s development coach with actual children who’d have thought), earning millions in coaching revenue, hundreds of thousands of youtube views , ted talks and a decent book release all whilst dealing with the burden of the death of his older brother is extremely impressive. A great example of mental grit and grind in the face of adversity for sure.

    Success or Not?

    In terms of entrepreneurship and impact an undoubted success – although him encouraging men to marry young does grind my gears- and i think his two divorces prove the threat of following a male influencer who’s promoting the idea of marriage whilst getting pounded by divorce after divorce . Religion and Pua just don’t mix – i think this guy could’ve dated a lot better had he waited and built his value first then got married however he’s stated countless times his children have been a huge motivation towards his success.

  • The plight of Men v Women Dating in The Western World 

    Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Francisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

    Wrote the article to discuss the advantages and disadvantages for men and women in the modern dating world – while most men in the manosphere believe that women hold all the cards i’d put out some other views to balance out why this may not necessarily be the case all the time – although i tend to agree women seem to have the upper hand in nearly every aspect of the modern era of dating.

    Women’s Disadvantages in the Modern Era of Dating: 

    • Religion instilling limiting believes and problems – religion has always been problematic when it came to the viewpoint on relationship dynamics between men and women and I believe with women in conservative countries religion can get in the way often repressing them from reaching their true SMV Potential. 

    Having travelled extensively around Saudi Arabia and UAE I saw how religion would come to repress women most notably my stories in Jazan in Saudi where I spoke and met women who felt that their city and their religion were repressing their sexual desires and stopped them from dating the men  they wanted to. They felt incapable of dating the men they wanted and were seemingly stuck in a difficult plight due to their geographical isolation from the rest of the world. Not that religion can’t harm women in the west- it can certainly breed delusion and cause women to miss out on dating opportunities due to their conservatism . 

    The big  debate -whether religion protects women from harm of whoring out or denies them the opportunity to date men they genuinely desire – in my opinion you could make a case for either – some women will simply never know if the grass is greener or not and some conservative women may end up losing opportunities due to choosing to delay sex- I know many of my wingmen stopped dating certain religious and conservative women after they found out they were religious and weren’t keen on sex.  With some aspects of the manosphere criticising high body count females – deeming them sluts and disgusting whilst wanting to quickly fuck the women they themselves date it seems the balance is non existent. If women abstain from sex they themselves risk out on potential high smv men who seek the women who give sex away the easiest but then if they give sex away easy they risk being used and dumped by the fuck boy alphas. Its a tough balance and one that at times can be unfair on women .

    • Danger on Dates/ Stalkers 

    Obviously women face a lot of risk on dates – during my time dating them I saw examples of women I dated who incurred moments when they were nearly raped by Turkish and Kuwaiti men- the risks associated of dating certain races of men who can overly pressure them for sex is very real. Whilst men who daygame regularly don’t really run the risk of getting raped women can easily get raped and murdered on dates. Not that it happens often in London I am aware of examples of it happening- dating a psycho man can be the end of a woman’s life in some situations and it can be extremely hard for women to find men they can trust particularly certain races of men or dating in cultures were sexual assault/rape is more common like Africa and The middle East. 

    • Age and Declining SMV 

    As Nick Krauser showed as women age and reach their 30s-40s the decline in their smv can be apparent of course this can be maintained through fashion, surgery, diet and health maintenance so it isn’t exactly the be all and end all. Of course this depends as certain races like Blacks and Asians can maintain their age a lot easier than white Russians for example . Although both races can use surgery, gym etc. to maintain health. What those things can’t prevent is egg and fertility deterioration which can be very apparent with women and something that can’t be escaped. Men’s sperm along with good health habits can be maintained into their 60s but for women its a tougher fight to preserve fertility- egg freezing can be one way but it can be a painful procedure and doesn’t result in optimal young.  

    • More to do with Less Time 

    Women have to get their degrees, find a good partner before their eggs get fucked and move up the work ladder all at a young age – the maturity required from women is usually greater than men as they face a lot of challenges hitting them at once. They can’t like men just start dating in their 30s by that age they need to settle down and with hook up culture rising the odds of finding someone to commit to them is lower than ever before – with marriage rates declining globally it puts another layer of pressure on women along with their declining fertility and career ambitions. The plight is tough and the time for failed relationships is extremely limited . The wrong relationship with the wrong man can eat into valuable time during their peak years- I’d argue men have more time for fuck ups than women do on average with women having far more of the selection but hey a fuck up is a fuck up and time is of the essence if children are desired . Regardless of how many options either sex has one needs to make an effort and role with it. 

    Pressure of Sex from the Sugar Daddies 

    Whilst online dating has definitely been more Advantageous to women – the pressure of sex may increase from those offering to fly women out which in turn can create issues. Nothing comes for free and women who are paid and flown out on dates usually face having to put up to get what they want in return effectively turning them to quasi modern prostitutes . Even what might seem like freedom and desire from men sometimes this shit can have consequences for the women which isn’t often talked about.  Something that Rollo Talks about in his rational male series 

     “ The global sexual marketplace – how globalisation isn’t just about economics or demographics- globalisation is also applies to intersexual dynamics. …. Today with our instant, robust , forms of digital communication, a worldwide sexual marketplace has now opened up with a romantic prospects of virtually anyone on the planet earth and a smartphone and a internet connection. Don’t like your prospects in your hometown? Now there’s a whole world of men and women waiting to meet you”  Rollo Tommasi – The Rational Male

    The problem with this theory is two fold and one which Nick Krauser already discussed in his interview with Rollo yes online dating has given women power but with this power does still come risks of them having to give away sex to men whom they don’t know about – in the case of a female Czech friend she once nearly got raped by her Kuwaiti sugar daddy and again by a Turkish one- one Hong Konger I dated also nearly got raped by her Turkish bumble date. Of course these are just one off examples – but the online world doesn’t guarantee smooth sailing for women – it involves the trust of unknown men who could still be psychos who can still have distinct problems only difference being is they are rich  . 

    Also for some women geographic repression still very much exists and the likelihood of them dating largely out of their league in some cases is still tough – A Thai woman living in rural Thailand most likely will have to search for bottom of the barrel Western men who may have additional problems with themselves . Sometimes it could be they are socially inadequate, have autism disorders , maybe alcoholics , weight issues or just purely old- it’s still not exactly smooth sailing for women as much as Rollo describes there are still chances for women to fuck up and be in bad situations only now the choice is larger and the opportunities are more. Although for some women of course there are more than others. 

    • Declining number of “real men”  – decline in SMV is very really amongst most men this can take the form of lower testosterone – men being poisoned by blue light , glysophate, sugar  and various other poisons that can cause lo testosterone and SMV decline .  Also men are more prone to video game , porn addictions of the like which can diminish SMV and cause low T and a loss of self confidence. 
    • As men become more feminised it becomes harder for women to find real men – men’s suicide rate is rising and mental health declining therefore showing a decline in high quality mates for women. Men’s sperm quality has never been this low and their testosterone has never been so low at anytime in their history than now . Putting a layer of pressure and competition for the top quality “masculine men”  Men are more inundated with porn and addictions that dehumanise and ruin relationships which pre 1960s and the porn era were no where near as big a problem as they are now. 
    • The rise in ai taking away a lot of men’s jobs also contributes to men’s incomes declining which puts another layer of pressure of women to find a decent provider which is declining as men’s incomes are in many major western countries around the world. 
    • Not every Woman can win – I mean think about it mathematically for a second not every woman can date a multi millionaire – or high earning man , online dating and todays competitive dating era has led a large amount of women to fight for a select group of scarce group of men causing more intense competition – simply put not every woman in the world can date the elite powerful high value men- some will lose this fight – its brutal capitalism at the end of it . The “abundance” mindset is really a self help myth- real top value is hard to find and hard to maintain.
    • More cowardly men- approaching is now rarer than ever in most nations – men have become pussies- so women hoping for someone to have an actual pair of balls well those balls are declining in quantity globally as testosterone becomes more scarce. 
    • Women’s testosterone is higher than ever can sometimes result in them fucking up their attractiveness and turning crazy liberal or overly masculine which may cost them good dating opportunities without being cognisant of it.
    • Men’s Autism Rates are rising- on average it is estimated the young men have 5 times the rates of autism as women due to environmental issues. The result – a generation of men with increasing low sexual market value than prior – not saying autistic men can’t date well but they certainly have their work cut out for themselves  – on average autistic men are slower to gage social interactions and struggle to main LTRs. This- seemingly will only lead to a larger amount of men being inadequate to date and a smaller pool that are financially and cognitively good enough for women. 

    Advantages FOR Women in the Modern Era of Dating. 

    • Online dating- has given women a vast ray of access to men around the world , endless attention and the opportunity for hypergamy has never been easier – a high value attractive 20 year old woman can have the world her oyster- be flown out around the world through the touch of an app now.  This is probably the biggest advantage that women that have they can go to cities and glen 1000s of matches and have nearly infinite options – the opportunity really is endless for half decent looking women online and they don’t have to face the loneliness that the majority of men have . Hypergamy has never been easier for women than today . 
    • Divorce courts giving more advantages to women in the west- I can only  speak for  the west because I am not an expert on international law but divorces can be profitable experiences for women and the majority of women end up getting custody of the kids – this flips on its head in Asia where divorce courts seemingly favour the men over the women. 
    • Women tend to mature a hell of a lot faster than men and get that advantage of opening into more high quality social circles from 18 onwards thanks to online dating- they no longer need to hang around low value smv men of their own age they can quickly seek out the viable mates through instagram and online dating  . Heck even women who live in impoverished parts of places like Thailand have opportunities to find high value husbands now thanks to online dating and apps . A Thai girl living in the rural area now has access to ten’s of thousands of European men dming her on online dating websites- something seemingly unthinkable 50 years ago. 
    • Global travel ensures a good percentage of women can go to where they are most valued – I mean this is an advantage for both genders but modern day a Russian model can move to London or New York and get all the shit she wants to a degree . Even if she gets divorced, ends up a single mother theres 1000s of males on online apps she can move onto. There are far less consequences in todays era for women’s mistakes when for example being a single mother In the 1990s would’ve been a lot tougher to get back out there due to lack of dating apps. (This is one example but you get the gist ) 

    Advantages for Men in the Modern dating era. 

    • Global travel meaning men can move to areas where their sexual market value is highest. Having a tough time in the west? Move to south east Asia/Latin America  and things will become significantly easier  . The passport bro era can be an easy cop out of the overly competitive western cities. Of course men need to be cogniscent
    • Still men can get scammed – of course there are examples of men in Low competitive countries being scammed on dating apps- most notably the American tourist https://people.com/american-in-colombia-lured-death-dating-app-prosecutors-4-suspects-charge-8547356 seemingly a lot of men are still naive when using dating apps – often falling victim to scams from women sometimes costing them their life.
    • More PUA content than ever and its all free. Like literally – there is so much free content out there more than ever before- men have access to communities and more information than ever before about how to enhance their dating lives such a thing wouldn’t have been available in the 1990s for example.
    • Men have more time to make mistakes- men mature slower and that hurts but for old men the situation is still salvageable with a decent work ethic and persistence . Of course time without action is nothing and men do need to spend a lot of that time improving smv as well- so this is certainly up for debate-
    • Men’s fertility usually lasts longer- an obvious one but men don’t have to worry about “hitting the wall” the potential to have kids is usually there for men into their later 50s and even 60s whereas for women when the eggs are gone they gone- freezing eggs only last a period of a few years and isn’t biologically optimal. 
    • Younger generation of men provide less competition than the younger generation of women. For example if you’re 30 and a new man enters the sexual market place at age 20 you usually won’t need to worry about said man due to the lack of SMV that young men posses – for women it’s different, a  30 year old woman can easily have her attention stolen by a 20 year old women and not recover from this- women have to be constantly aware of the competition coming from younger women. 

    Disadvantages for Men in Modern Dating Era 

    • Declining pua scene- less people approaching, less community, online dating certainly has damaged the community coming together and has created more independent groups of men in the dating sphere with a lot of men no longer coming together to date. 
    • Men’s jobs being taken from ai and technological advances at a faster rate than women’s jobs- jobs like truck driver, taxi driver – two small examples but these jobs getting eliminated will hurt men’s incomes more than women’s and as ai develops it seems on the face of it that men’s typical jobs will be harmed first and foremost- this can have a negative drain on men’s sexual market value. 
    • The mental draining of approaching – as a Man it’s your job to approach and dealing with the drain of rejection – dating is a lot more mentally intensive for most men – creating options is infinitely harder as a man and the mental burden of rejection seemingly moreso for the majority of men. This can drain willpower and the ability for men to progress in other areas of their life and be very time consuming .
    • Religion- My religious friends usually underachieve in dating – usually marrying someone because they are the same religion as theirs, Christian , buddhist or jew I just don’t see religion as an advantage to men in dating.  If anything religion just serves as a ploy for hypergamy for women. 
    • Men’s Slower Maturity – for me personally at school I was very slow to mature mentally despite going to a pretty fancy private school I still didn’t really socially improve until my early 20’s , mainly due to porn and video game addiction I found my brain over stimulated between the ages of 14-20 – unable to communicate well and make real friends and actual good quality women I found a lot of men in a similar position at school and university. Women tend to have more options on average when they are younger and break into social circles a lot easier than men meaning they often mature at a far quicker rate whilst men have the tendency to get left behind.
    • Overstimulation of men – I mentioned a lot of these points in this blog post here:https://mindful-masculinity.org/2023/12/13/why-the-mens-pua-and-dating-self-development-scene-has-declined-so-much/ but yeah men are more addicted to porn, drugs and are more sducidal  than ever this obviously has negative impacts on the plight of men in the dating world. 
    • Bigger financial risk in marriage than ever before – the search for marriage as stability  is a big gamble for men nowadays – with men’s suicide post divorce going to new highs the gambles associated with forming a family and marriage are now higher than ever in the dating world for men.  This can lead to hesitation and children being bred later on in a man’s life meaning most men will have less time with their children than previous generations. 
    • More media resentment of PUA – Discussed in my article at detail here from Tom Torero’s death : https://wordpress.com/post/mindful-masculinity.org/314 I mean the chances of a pickup artist being cancelled is higher than ever before which has seemingly lead to a dearth of dating coaches. Most the guys that I grew up watching – Tom Torero, Sasha Daygame, Liam McRae, Roosh V, Yad,  Alan Roger Currie (now I don’t rate all these 6 as elite level but they still set a good example to young men in the dating  world) are now gone- the new era of dating coaches seem more aligned with Red Pill philosophy than actual improvement in cold approach and creating a better community of more proactive men. 
    • Men’s lower online dating options than women- no matter how value most men will be they will never get the sort of online attention a woman will- men are up against it online for sure in more ways than one.  Not to say it can’t be effective for some men but for the majority I deem it inadequate due to the sheer level of competition .
    • Geographic poverty harming men- I mean  for example a working class Thai male  is going to have a tougher Time to reach his dating goals than the same class of  Thai female – when it comes to achieving dating goals and objectives men in the third world have it harder than well anyone. Women in the third world can still use apps and dating websites to get themselves out of a rut- while Sugar mummy hunting can happen in places like Egypt – its certainly a lot rarer than what women in the third world can do. Of course there are still some women born in strict religious countries that are incapable of real hypergamy with their own free will due to religion or their surrounding society impacting them. 
    • Deep competition in the West leading to hoeflation – in my opinion from gaming in the east to west I’ve noticed American, Britain and Australia definitely have the highest rates of hoeflation – with a lot of attractive guys and a small pool of women – this usually leads to women dating out of their league more than the men . The opposite I found in the East for example China where I’d see average British men date simple stunners in China. 
    • Overstimulated -Tik Tok brain rot women – this leads to more boring dates although the same could be said from men who are addicted to video games and porn from a young age all in all both genders have struggled and have become victims of the overstimulation of the modern world often turning us more one dimensional and boring.

Mindful Masculinity

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