Mindful Masculinity

Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks

This book was written in the arguably the peak of TNL’s supremacy in 2010-2013 when James Marshall was gaining momentum thanks to his 21 convention speeches – Liam McRae appeared almost as a more mature Robin to his Batman. For those who’s Sasha Daygame method proved too wacky- Liam was a very relatable character to young buddying seducers. Myself I was drawn to Liam due to his authenticity in his writing style which comes across as articulate and honest . I think his approach to pick up is something that is deeply lacking in todays community which is one of a heavy reliance of online dating rather than people actually proactively going out and seducing women and doing something about their problems. Rereading this book in 2024 gave me a lot of nostalgia for that 2014-2018 era pickup – arguably The Natural Lifestyles were the ones who benefited most financially from that era with people moving away from the Yads, the Nick Kraussers and the Tom Torero’s of todays worlds and all in all opting for something more mature in Liam McRae and James Marshall. Whilst the likes of Yad and Tom Torero had their appeal for the low smv types of men I definitely saw Liam and James’ marketability towards those who had higher than average smv who were looking for a bit more connection in their interactions . 

I’ve been personally influenced heavily by Liam. His now deleted YouTube videos were a huge motivation to me writing my social media guides and I argue his departure from TNL  had a huge negative impact on the company as whole in fact its pretty obvious his impact as a coach has been heavy on now TNL dating guru Alex Leon who at times looks almost exactly like Liam and seems a carbon copy of his ideas and influences. His 21 convention speech no longer exits so it’s hard for people to draw evidence nowadays on whether he was a good speaker or not but I believe he presented ideas well when speaking at 21 con . He’s also one of the few Puas that have been a success after retiring from pickup . Seemingly marrying a very attractive instagram model – he’s lived the pua dream and seemingly came out on top. What’s not to like? 

His book is obviously heavily influenced by James Marshall as he starts with the 5 principles – some like it some hate it I find it pretty good but I know a chunk of London day gamers would despise it. He then starts by journalling rapid sex and intercourse with numerous women and similar to the Limitless Seducer documents the highs and lows of this experience.  He doesn’t even need logistics on some occasions he just bangs the girl in a club toilet . Now this might not be for everyone- some men  might prefer a bit more intimacy rather than banging a girl within 15-20 minutes akin to Liam’s style but still there are lessons to be learnt here in pulling the trigger and not being afraid of escalating. The fact that a lot of these seductions take place without proper logistics also can be appealable to those starting out on their pua journey in unfavourable circumstances like living with their parents . Of course banging in a toilet might seem disgusting to some and getting a hand job on a train like Liam does in another story in this book may seem a bit gross but again it can serve to crush limiting beliefs and install the mentality that success can come anywhere again the appeal  to the newbies is in the destroying of limiting beliefs rather than the erratic seductions themselves. 

Of course there are parts in the book where the women get somewhat irritable with Liam – with some accusing him of using him of using them for sex when he confesses he’s in an open relationship to one of his daygame lays  – I feel this is where Liam and James are ultimately a little bit arrogant in their belief systems- they believe in liberal sex without consequences but somewhat deny that sex is an intensely deep act for a lot of women and a portion of said women don’t like to like being  used just for sex. Liam tries to justify this with the equality narrative- that both men and women should be free to fuck as much as they want but refuses to acknowledge that men and women with high body accounts typically aren’t great long term partners and I wonder if Liam McRae would himself would be happy to see his daughter pumped and dumped like that?

Again this complaint happens from another conservative Iranian woman about 2/3rds of the way in a chapter entitled “Persian Godess” When Liam explains to the conservative Iranian girl he’s polyamorous she doesn’t take it well “ it would really hurt me if you were to fuck another girl. The thought of your dick inside me after it had been inside her makes me sick” Again having personally dated some conservative women I understand the jealousy here- especially in Middle Eastern Culture this sort of thing is typically frowned upon quite heavily. 

 I think that’s an issue around The Natural Lifestyles – they do preach this freedom of sex without consequences but there are consequences to hook up culture which Liam arrogantly refuses to acknowledge  in this book. But yeah- why would he- he’s a pua coach but still he seems to have little understanding at times with how the women do feel used at time in this book a sign that maybe the guy actually lacks some maturity with women and the critical analysis that maybe- just maybe sex might mean different things to different people.  Liam says “I think girls who just go with the moment and do what they want are cooler” but there’s another potential challenge to this argument – girls who seek rapid sex may just be giving it away too easy and risk being used – as one of Liam’s lays in the book complains about “ But so many guys just bail after they fuck me…” again a issue in sexual openness is the potential of being left to hung dry or feel used- and I don’t think that Liam really understands this . This very same girl then cries in the same  lay report after Liam confesses he is in a open relationship with another girl – again proof that a lot of women psychologically don’t like the whole pump and dump hook up culture. 

 Again when I applied Rapid Escalation techniques a lot of them did work in 20 percent of the cases- but this would entail on some occasions buyers remorse or  excessive attachment something which I think Liam doesn’t really think about or educate his readers with which is ironic considering his experience .For me I’ve clocked that I’d usually get a lot more attachment from traditional conservative women which led to some problematic arguments post sex- at the time I thought like Liam that everyone just wanted hook up sex but as time went on and as I observed my other wings I began to realise that sex is a big deal for some women and that it can cause big attachment and break ups can be extremely traumatic – I know a few women who mentally just couldn’t get over the trauma of being cheated on or dumped and I began to understand that relationships are real and they have real consequences . Most of James Marshall’s TNL team failed really to acknowledge this and even James himself seems to discard all the emotional attachments with the girls he hooks up with, in my previous review of Liam’s “The Limitless seducer” Liam seems to just once again try and put his dick in anything (again nothing wrong with this but I can understand the argument the chaos that short term mating strategies can cause especially in todays tinder hookup era) 

I certainly found that copying Liam’s liberal stance towards sex was at times quite harmful to my game as I thought every woman would just want rapid / quick sex- in the end a portion did but a good percentage also wanted deep intimacy and feared being used especially living in London you have a lot of conservative women who are quite serious about their relationships and just want a LTR /Marriage- for them hook-up culture can be unappealing. I also saw the frustrations on pua forums when some wingmen would fail to obtain sex they desired from the women they dated expecting every coffee date to end in a lay – at the end a lot of women simply don’t want quick sex and that’s not    a problem – but at times reading pua books where a  daygame coaches obtain quick sex may create unrealistic expectations on certain women who probably aren’t going to fuck on the first date – then people who look up to said  day gamer coaches   then get upset when this doesn’t happen. 

Liam  goes into discussing methods to get the best out of interactions- slowing down sets and leaving space and owning intent this is also useful advice particularly for those at an intermediate /advance level  but also goes through the issues beginners can face – overthinking and not taking action being the key one. Even during some interactions where the escalation fails , Liam doesn’t panic and reiterates the importance of maintaining a leadership frame and holding it together after escalating in the toilet with a German girl which ends up failing : 

“ I think it’s really important to note that I tried something ballsy (toilet sex) she made her boundaries clear, and I respected that . The seduction was not over at this point; it was just a minor road bump. I didn’t take it as a personal rejection , merely as her saying, “ not here and now” 

Liam McRae – Rapid Escalation 

I think this is great advice which has helped me personally in dealing with LMR situations – interactions failing or escalations failing can be for a variety of reasons the most important thing is you keep your cool and keep the interaction running and not losing your mind. 

He then proceeds to talk again about limiting beliefs- the class stuff that I’d learnt in previous 21 convention speeches and by Simple Pickup but again important to analyse when dealing with hurdles in seduction before going into further rejections and understanding that men can only control various factors- there dress, communication and  the quantity of approaches – other things like the women liking them or wanting sex are outside of the power of a modern man and we need to accept this as what it is. 

Similar to the other book “The Limitless Seducer” Liam spends a good portion of time  discussing seduction fails , rejection and near getting laid moments that are eventually foiled by the dreaded LMR. Still its good balance to include this stories as they give a realistic outlook to most potential seducers of the highs and lows of seduction. He then finishes off the book by once again discussing limiting beliefs and outlines more of the five principals again.

Concluding Comments : 

Liam McRae may not be around the pua sphere anymore- he’s been retired for some 6 years now at the time of writing this – its 2024 and his retirement was around 2018 as far as I can recall. He’s one of the few who’ve seemingly “made it out alive” in the Pua space without media ridicule or getting cancelled akin to Tom Torero – and seemingly made something of himself financially too coaching 100s of clients successfully during his time with TNL. He then seemingly progressed towards marrying an instagram model . All in all he’s the blueprint that many who come into pick up artistry or dating and self development and watching his evolution was one of my biggest motivations during my early day gaming years. He may not be the best coach or dating author for those who are looking to build a family or “strong ltrs” But for beginners and intermediates his tips are simply invaluable and should not be understated . His work ethic, honesty , determination and ability to seduce is seemingly lost upon todays generation of dating coaches whoever those people even are. 

If you can grab a copy or download it it’s worth your time to get some insight of this now retired dating coach. I believe this book has aged well and the core principals remain very relevant today . 

Score: 8/10