Mindful Masculinity

Disclaimer: Im not a dating coach Im just a dating blogger who’s had some experience in the field who writes his own shit re dating , the sexual market etc.  For those wondering I spend around 80 precent of the year in London and the other 20 percent a mix between Nice/Cannes/South Of France or San Francisco if you’re in any of those cities please feel free to hit me up at darrenpua1@gmail.com 

Liam Mcrae’s second book written during his time with The Natural Lifestyles – I see this book as the least practical of the three by far (that doesn’t mean its a bad book necessarily by any means) I just mean for me personally Tinder seduction guides aren’t really applicable to the majority of men in the daygame sphere because the majority of men in the daygame community don’t get good matches anyway. So only a small portion of Liam’s audience will probably be able to replicate these results- also in 2024 the apps are a lot more saturated with men that women now so it’s hard to see how much of this can be effective in 2024- still my top tier wings do get good dates on tinder so I think the opportunities are there for sure but I think the majority of men on dating and self development and dating forums would be better off doing cold approach rather than tinder. 

Liam acknowledges this point early on that it was his seven years as a dating and daygame coach that  was the key to him getting good at tinder dates and escalating – he acknowledges right off the bat that:

 “Every second you spend texting girls on tinder is a wasted second wasted, that could be better spent approaching girls in real life, so get your communication skills up to scratch first.Go and say hi to a girl on the street before creating a tinder account” 

 Here even on page 1 he highlights the flaws of most people in dating – they rely on online as their main source of dates then get pissed when the tinder match or the hinge match doesn’t reply – daygame skills are essential to dating success – they are the most important aspect by far and I 100 percent agree with this. 

In his first lay report Liam makes a very valid point “ 95 percent of guys using online dating are so thirsty for sex and they want to believe in the fantasy of “easy” sex so badly that they put pressure on the girl to verbalise her desires or agree in advance to sex:

“The paradox is that by being so blatant and hungry for it, they take the mystery out of it, display low social intelligence, and a pass up the chance to give her the pounding she’s craving. Going into the date open to all outcomes but attached to none gives you a much better chance of getting laid than feeling entitled to sex and pressuring the girl to fuck you just because you’re there” 

I think this is a fantastic point – something that I notice a lot on seduction Reddit is that people are so outcome dependant that they take the mystery out of sex – or they get butthurt at the first sign of resistance . I’ve seen a lot of frustrated wings in my time who get thrown off the minute there is resistance or she doesn’t want to fuck . I believe by creating more options and more social opportunities 

Liam has some good advice midway through about dealing with initial poor interactions “ Instead over the years I’ve come to understand that a girl not responding with 100 percent overt positive enthusiasm or seems disengaged can sometimes be shy.” Again a good piece of advice in terms of understanding that some women might not interact positively not because they’re dis interested but because they are just of a shy or introverted nature. Far too many times ( myself included) people in seduction never really take the woman’s feelings come into account and make massive drawn out conclusions from a few minutes of interaction. 

Liam’s ability to create rapid escalation from Tinder meet-ups is impressive , he has sex with a lot of his tinder dates far quicker than I would imagine I’d be capable of – again a lot of these lays do read like lays similar to his 2013 book Rapid Escalation – once again Liam demonstrates similar confidence and ability here . He also shows versatility – despite this being a book about Tinder he does throw in a few successful daygame interactions which do lead to good results in addition to this .  He does date some seemingly serial cheater and dishonest women but who am I to judge? One woman who divorced after a $20,000 wedding with a Hungarian man after 8 months and cheated on him with Liam without Liam realising until she tells him some months into their relationship. This same  women in question ends up being a psycho story which is an entertaining story but shows that even the best womanisers will have to endure some nutcases here and then – I also hope I never end up dating someone like that who can really fuck up and decimate someones life long term – but each to their own . Liam Mcrae even shows these stalker messages texts as “Budapest Physco” in his phone and shares the screenshots.

The texting material is not the most practical here, but still interesting nonetheless – the guide on good pictures is very useful- a common problem with most newbies In the dating space is they have poor photos – Liam was one of the first to do YouTube videos of this back in 2016 when he was getting flakes off tinder due to his poor photos – he provides antidotes and solutions here that I think most beginner seducers will be interested in. 

Again the debates are similar to the previous books -debating that  women “are often really valued for their purity and their virginity and yet all the guys there want a woman to give them sex and aren’t very sensitive to their needs. It’s a paradox”  Again this is the great paradox – on the one hand there is some evidence that women who have fewer sexual partners seem to have less divorces on average than women who have more – so I think that Liam ignores this side of the debate and its one that concerns me when I am sleeping with a girl am I fucking her up mentally? Relationships have consequences and  my one critique of this is that I don’t think Liam clocks this well enough and the entire TNL crew seemingly never wants to discuss this issue. Would Liam himself want his daughter to have a high body count? Im not sure- from my personal opinion lower body count girls need to be more loyal and tend to be better set up for long term relationships. I found women who’d had many sexual partners and boyfriends difficult to control as they’d often have the most mental issues too. I guess this is Liam’s major weakness in all three books- he overlooks this all the time almost as if he doesn’t want to take responsibility – despite a few of his lovers have mental breakdowns due to it in the previous two books he doesn’t seem to stop and care about what his impact on actually having sex with these women has and given that quite a few of the women had mental breakdowns both in this book and the Limitless Seducer and The Rapid Escalation books it would’ve been good of him to somewhat acknowledge that continuous hook ups were impacting these women’s mental state to some degree.  

The book has several lay reports from other TNL coach Shae Matthews and I am honestly not a big fan of his as he tends to overcomplicate things and thinks an overtly spiritual “World salad” level akin to Zan Perrion which again just isn’t my style. One of her lovers did buy him plane tickets to Abu Dhabi which I did find cool though- showing the potential of social value that women can really bring to your life- good women who love and respect you can really add convenience to your lifestyle. Other than that its a lot of the usual self help spiritual voo doo  from Shae which is not my cup of tea personally but other viewers may find interesting . Given he’s the only TNL member who’s never released infield it’s also hard to take his advice that seriously- though I do believe his lay reports it’s just hard to find relatable when there’s no evidence of him in field to see how he actually interacts with women. 

Liam also talks about the lows- some poor dates with girls that don’t look like their photo also one incident where he meets a woman who has a boyfriend then finds out half way through the date and leaves as he finds out the girl is just using him for attention – once again I admire Liam for noting the highs and lows of seduction and being honest for what it entails.  Even a one week dry streak while traveling Ireland shows that even the best can hit rough patches especially on online dating. 

Liam makes an excellent point in the penultimate chapter regarding the negatives associated with radical honesty and how they can ruin your dating game.  Stating: 

“Many guys are too honest too early in a relationship. I had a friend who would tell every girl he went on a date with that he wasn’t looking for a committed relationship. This level of brutal honesty is not only unnecessary; it’s actually socially uncalibrated.

Does a car salesman say: “Hi. I’m Mark Welcome to Porche! Just to be 100 percent honest my job is to make you feel cool and make you need this expensive sports car by associating it with sex, status and power. I don’t actually want to be friends with you. I just want your money.” Does a doctor say “ Hi, Welcome to the hospital. You know people die here? Your relative is old as fuck. They’re gonna die, and then you’re gonna burn their body. Or bury it so it rots in the ground! Just being honest! Of course not. While both of those things are unspoken truths, there is no reason to say them out loud.” 

A big mistake I made when I started game in 2013 was being too honest too early on – say to women I only wanted to fuck them and I didn’t want to be in a LTR with them. This was a huge mistake that deterred many women – you need to keep the romantic image alive and in focus. By being radically honest early on you’re killing the romance early on in the relationship . Radical honesty early on – before you’ve even had sex with the girl at least a couple of times is not a good look in my eyes- you need to maintain that romantic infatuation for as long as possible even if your goal is not an ltr with said woman. 

There’s some basic advice for taking photos – for example “Don’t Look at the Camera directly” the importance of fashion with some points that are really crucial and often overlooked by wingmen on the field – I spoke about this in my Tanner Guzy book review – fashion is really important and you need to make sure you are well dressed in all your Tinder photos as well as when you are cold approaching women- it’s really the bear minimum you can do. Your fashion can help to build a story of who you are in the woman’s mind – it can help create a fantasy in her head about what meeting and fucking you will be like. For me a lot of my flakes in my early game years from 2013-2015 were due to my subpar photos – I’d close women in nightclubs on Facebook then they’d see all sorts of shitty photos of me drinking strongbow at a house party and think “Why the fuck would I date this loser” and in fairness they were right – I presented myself as a loser with no hobbies or interests in my photos so why should I expect them to follow up if I had boring and dull photos that weren’t stimulating to them. Liam explains things well in this book and I honestly have said it time and time again good photos and fashion are a bear minimum for those starting out daygame or online game. It doesn’t take much or cost much to fix this issue but not fixing it can result in a lot of flakes and blow outs if you don’t.  Liam recommends taking pics with a processional photography at least once or twice a year and I’d definitely agree with this. He also uses examples of bad photos and what not to use self critiquing his old Facebook photos. 

Conclusions : 

I like Liam a lot as a dating coach and I believe he conveys ideas well that is easy to follow for all levels of daygamers. I think all his books are worth reading for beginners if you can get your hands of them. He may not be around anymore coaching but you can probably absorb a good 80 percent of his coaching and his ideologies by just reading these three books alone. This book is not  your generic- 3 text lines to get your tinder match in bed he actually goes into the physiology of dating and dealing with the highs and lows- I think he conveys it better than Torero, Krauser and Zan Perrion .  In fact I wrote in my previous review that Zan Perrion was a great speaker but a poor writer- I see Liam as the opposite- not the best public speaker of all time when it came to Pua in his 21 convention speeches but someone who’s excellent at conveying his ideas on paper. I recommend his books for those at all levels as I said before – particularly those who need some guidance about social media and improving their pictures it’s probably the most underrated tinder seduction book out there in my eyes.

To buy Liam Mcrae’s Tinder Seduction Stories : https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tinder-Seduction-Stories-Liam-McRae/dp/1540357120/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3VGJQBTJ9Z2AO&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.OFccWBH_mMXDoM2DKGxrGQ.S-kpUFAHYUV93eOZiWauLO6-dRXZlRqyVF34vq691OE&dib_tag=se&keywords=LIAM+Mcrae+tinder+seduction&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1732190221&sprefix=liam+mcrae+tinder+seductio%2Caps%2C321&sr=8-1