Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight.I am someone who’s done around 3 years of cold approach in London and set up dates there. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks
I wrote this guide roughly 5 years ago on rapid escalation and how to get a girl to your place on the first date . Since i started daygame roughly 2017 it wasn’t until 2019 that i had a system in place to getting the woman back to your place on the first date. Rapid escalation can be a useful tool but bear in mind any sort of guide or routine you do will have stumbling blocks and won’t work 100 percent of time. You need options to get a system work just like you need sales to get a sales funnel working . If you just try this routine with 1 or 2 women it may capitulate the first time and you may find yourself frustrated. Similarly you wouldn’t try one day game roll play with one set you’d spread it with 100-200 sets and look for trends as a result. Rejection and failed dates are part of the game . Also this depends on the women’s ideology and their personal views of course. If a woman is rigorsly conservative and religious then rapid escalation is really unlikely to work regardless of your SMV or your game on the first date .
Also note that when trying this there were numerous occasions in which the girl got back to mine and the sex didn’t occur. There was even one occasion when a Hong Kong girl took a 40 minute cab to mine just to say she wanted a cuddle at 3am and slept next to me . Just because you get a woman back to yours on the first date doesn’t necessarily mean its going to end up in sex on the first date- more often than not it didn’t on the first date.
Re: Text game- I am no text game professional – it’s not my expertise and as I said before I am not a dating coach- this is a free guide which i wrote 5 years ago and I am well aware that my text isn’t particularly good or on a “master” level. The texts I’ve included in this guide were what worked for me in those specific situations with those girls in question- there might be other objections you face that are different than mine . Of course a lot of my daygame numbers would flake – around 70 percent would and i am not going to share those screenshots because that would make for a very boring guide lol . What you’re seeing are the outliers of a lot of daygame approaches – the 1-2 percent of girls that are very responsive and keen to meet . Don’t think every woman I am texting is eager to meet up for a date- far from it. Even Paul Janka who is a male model who went to Harvard who lived in New York said 1 in 10 of the phone numbers he got from cold approach actually ended up in lays. My statistics are roughly 1 in 14.
- Have the date meet up spot at a train station near your place.
Reason: more girls than you think want to fuck on the first date. By having the date
at a place near or in your house you’re increasing your chance of having sex the
same day. A lot of you guys work busy careers-your time is of the essence , don’t
waste time on long ass dates with girls especially when they want to fuck with you
first date. Surprisingly as long as your instagram/facebook photos are good and you
had a good interaction most girls will actually go straight to yours for the first date.
Far too many people have the date far from their place. What the fuck is the literal
point? When she comes onto the date and you’re 50 minutes away from your place
even if she wants to fuck you she’s going to have to deal with an hour long journey back to yours which will massively increase your chance of getting LMR. What a
god damn waste of time .
Avoid expensive bars or anything lavish that will put the essence of a provider
frame. Just pick a coffee place like Joe and the juice or cook for them. This way you
won’t attract the wrong sort of girl (gold digger) Keep the first date simple but have 2 or 3 back up locations in case it starts to esculate and keep maintaining a journey between you and the girl . . If you want alcohol i have a list of good/quiet/bars in London for those who are based in London – I wrote several London dating guides here:
mindful-masculinity.org/2022/11/07/areas-to-date-around-london-a-full-guide/
mindful-masculinity.org/2023/11/07/areas-to-date-around-london-further-spots-part-2-updated-for-2023/
mindful-masculinity.org/2023/11/27/areas-to-date-around-london-part-3-further-date-plans-including-logistics-ideas/
What if my area is shit?
If that is the case then arrange a date in the nearest possible location to your area make sure said location has 2-3 decent bars/coffee shops you can hop around in .
How to do it: if you live in a area that is far from the girl send out a text like “from a
scale of 1-10 how adventurous are you feeling” if she answers yes she is . This will
keep up the mystery of the date and more than likely means she will come to a
station near you. If no then still push for a date near yours but bear in mind the
chance of her coming is a little lower.
RE ABOVE PHOTO: Here i put the feeler out of how adventurous are you feeling, the girl had just broken up with her boyfriend of 6 years and was on the rebound, she was down to meet me where-ever. she said the approach was confident and wanted an adventure , i know she’s down for me to cook for her now and she probably trusts me as my facebook photos are beautiful as shit (i never had sex with her only make out unfortunately but i got her back to mine within 20 minutes) The feeler text of how adventurous are you feeling makes you know how much the girl is down for without seeming too needy or creepily looking for a fuck.If you don’t ask you don’t get. (a date near yours)
RE above a student whom i slept with , new to the city of London just started university actually met her while warming up for another date that didn’t go so well. Here i just asked again for her to come to my area and she was just keen, shows that a lot of the time girls are up for the adventure. if they are spontaneous enough to go out with a guy from the street they are probably spontaneous enough to go to your area and check it out. Use some words to up-sell the idea, say its more peaceful and tranquil and less polluted than the rest of London if they initial resist .
2. What if she wants to meet elsewhere? Then this dictates that she’s a bit conservative aim for a date close to yours ideally at a venue where there a selection of tables and sofas and its not crowed also no where near as pricey as getting alcoholic drinks and wont have the impact of fucking up your brain like alcoholic drinks do (this is just my personal preference as I gave up alcohol five years ago) . Sit next to her and try and get physical then . Try and make it as close to your place as possible. She may change on the date she may get hornier during the date. Have a second and third place in mind to keep the adventure going- a big mistake i made when first writing this guide and first having dates in London was just having one soul location to take the girl and not much else. You need to organise a plan B,C – other areas to keep the date exciting and for yourself to try new things.
Some people ask me what to do if there is nothing
RE: The above text is an example of what Tom Torero calls beta bait. Here the girl is down but is drawn up in two minds as to whether to come see me so she tests me a little. I just agree and exaggerate everything she aims to say and use a friendly dog meme to remind her I’m humorous and unlike the other beta guys that text her. Most men would’ve buckled under the “just trying to be single right now” text, but i don’t let that phase me and just amplify make it no big deal so she knows I’m humorous, knows I’m fun and knows I’m different from the beta as fuck nice guys she’s used to .
RE ABOVE TEXT SCREENSHOTS : Ok so she’s said Wimbledon is really far from her but I still push it and still try and bring her to my area. Eventually after 2 attempts to push for it I realise that Wimbledon is simply too much to ask for her and that’s fine. I don’t want to show too much frustration. I renegotiate to somewhere that’s between us. Women want men who understand their situation and are commanding but not straight up dictators. If I further push for my area it will only make things worse so I ease up. She suggests a place that’s genuinely too far for me so I tell here somewhere that’s in-between our area. Normally it’s best to push for areas that are as near as you as possible. Remember to keep the frame , if she suggests somewhere that’s miles from me and I go there it can be seen as quite needy. Do what suits you, if you find yourself always doing what the woman wants particularly on the first date this is holding a bad frame. Either you need to have more self confidence and self value or you need to approach more sets. Always be pushing for what favours you. If you find her unwilling to compromise on anything then it’s best you don’t date her at all as this can be revealing some negative aspects about her personality. Keep it play full ( better for your genes joke was callback humour to before hand when she told me she studied genealogy) but hold the frame. Ask yourself is this girl worth two or three dates. In this case she was very interesting as well as attractive. Had it been a 6 or a 5 I would’ve probably not followed up.
Had this been a tourist I most definitely would’ve given up as it’s unlikely she’s going to have sex with me on the first date and that time will best be spent outside a uni campus approaching sets. Always value your time. If you date a tourist for a coffee for 3 hours even if you make out isn’t that time best spent chasing leads in London that live here for the long-term? The net amount of sex from time invested will he far higher going for those girls. With tourists they either are in my area first date or nothing.
Eventually we agreed to a date in knightsbridge the following Friday but i still went for what i want and didn’t give into her demands instantly i made sure we met in between our locations not to make it to try hard
- What if she says yes to coming to your area ? What to do before the date.
- Have food ready at yours. Invest in some good cooking ingredients , organic meats that taste better than non organic whole foods to great value and tasty meat by the load. Some good quality meat that will impress her (no pun needed but most hoes are worth more than the 2 for £5 packs of chicken that Sainsbury’s sell) . Check for allergies and if she’s vegan before hand over text. Remember good quality cooking ingredients are still cheaper than a round of drinks and most bars in London. Splurge a little . Have some greens and make the meal presentable. Get her to cut and peel the potatoes and onions and flirt with her be like “I know this job seems a bit too complex for you but I’m going to put you in charge of onion cutting. Your mum would be so proud of you. ” Keep it light. Avoid curries, pastas. Dishes that are very hard on the stomach. Try making the meal gluten free this will avoid indigestion issues that can kill the sex drive avoid heavy spices. You don’t want your girl to take a big shit before you go down on her, the lighter the
meal the better. I always try something simple like well seasoned chicken breast
with kale and a light sauce. - Do some approaches before the date. Go to a station nearby and do 5-6 approaches. This will get you in a really social state ready for the seduction and means that you build on the seductive confidence that you showed her during the initial approach meeting to her. Women I know are constantly irritated of awkward needy men during dates. Don’t be that guy. Cold approach is the hardest form of social interaction and sales, its also the best way to get yourself in state for the date.
- Meditate before the date. This will free up your brain from the shackles of your analytical mind. All the best PUAS endorse meditation and theres a reason for it. Pickup is just so much better with it. Countless women i know have told me that they struggle to deal with a guy’s vibe on the first date. Having some form of meditative practice will help you to avoid being that guy and This will make you act more in the moment. Clear your mind and make you escalate quicker.
Aim to do 10-20 minutes of meditation before a date- or a 20 minute work out to get you in the “zone” - Avoid analytical work before the date.Remember analytical side of the brain is the death of your game. Maths problems, engineering work. Stop doing that shit before dates. If you study an engineering degree put the books down for 2 hours before the date. You don’t need it, that.
- Clean the kitchen before hand and negotiate to have your flatmates leave you to
alone . Female friends coming into the flat can make the girl feel more assured. Ideally an empty flat or house is the best case scenario. If you live with your parents you might be best off renting out a hotel and just ditching this plan all together . In a lot of cities hotel rooms can be renting out for 2-3 hours at a time so best off trying that out. .
Step 4 – The walk
Meeting at the train station. When she comes compliment her , tease her a bit then
start walking TOWARDS YOUR PLACE for 10 minutes of good chit chat when
you’ve noticed she’s calm then make the proposal .
Word it like this “we can either go to a cool tapas bar near my place ( name a bar or
pub near your place” OR I can cook for you I’m an excellent cook
Giving the girl two options is important. It makes her feel like she has freedom of
choice if the girl choses the tapas or bar it means she might be more conservative
and will take time to win over. Pick the bar and make sure it’s near your place and
sit next to her during the date. Don’t feel upset if she chooses not to go to yours. I
know it can be hard doing all those approaches and wanting sex that you’ve worked
hard for hustling on streets all day but just stay cool calm and relaxed and
proceeded to take her to the bar or tapas place. I’ve done this around 14 times and
on 9 occasions the girl has gone for the cooked meal . So it has a roughly 66 percent hit rate of the woman going straight back to yours. - If she says yes go to step 5
Step 5 Check for early signs of escalation : - While walking back to yours touch her a bit try holding her hand, she accepts your escalation at an early stage this is a big indicator she wants to fuck right then and there.
When she comes into your house tell her that she will show her around (the
building).. Lead her to your room try to escalate if she resists remain unfazed go
to the kitchen . Tell her you need her help get her to cut onions and garlic and
shit.
Step 6: cook for her play some music , remain playful for her.
Step 7: After the meal tell her you want to watch a movie with her and that you can only watch the movie on a laptop in your room . If she hesitates tell her she wont have to do anything she doesn’t want to do she’s just watching a movie/cook a dessert or make a cocktail have something unique planned for if she rejects you this is important and crucial you don’t want just sitting into awkward silence and doing nothing if I am drinking on the date i’d have a few cocktail recipes prepared and make her one. Or a few funny youtube channels or a unique dessert which she can get involved in making (doesn’t need to turn into a cooking lesson you can just have three tubs of ice cream at the ready and ask her to pick out a flavour) . Don’t set the the expectation of sex and don’t be needy. Its fine if you don’t get laid , she’s allowed to express her sexual choices as she wishes.
Step 8: offer her a massage
Have some massage oil ready always buy some it’s cheap off amazon this will
again show you’re a skilled man and not a one trick creepy middle Eastern pua
who’s going to join ISIS after 20 bad sets ( Im Middle eastern for the record LOL ) tell her she looks stressed and tell her that you had massage lessons in Bali or some exotic place you’ve actually been to. If she agrees to the massage try kissing her neck during the massage and escalate on her remember to start from her shoulders if she resists physical escalation
remain unfazed and ask to watch a movie together. Out of the 7 times i got laid from this
as of writing 3 of them were thanks to the Massage. Notorious PUA James Marshall
has said that seductive massage was a big thing that lead him to up his lay count.
Step 9: during the movie try and maintain physical contact and push for some
escalation.
Arms around her. If she’s still rejecting your advances it’s
probably not going to happen on this date. Remain unfazed it’s her choice no
means no. Finish watching try and escalate again if nothing happens walk her to
the station .
Important things that will help you:
Having a good Instagram/facebook social media profile
The better your social media the more likely the girl will come back to yours on the
first date . Really work on it to have good photos, get some professionally taken.
Have photos of you doing lots of different things taken high quality. Look at your
photos , Would you date yourself? It serves as collateral for the girl. If you have
photos of you with good looking friends then it’s unlikely you’re a serial killer that will
cut her up into pieces and hide her in your cupboard with your other dates you also
killed. Having interesting photos also shows the girl that you’re worth the time.
Women are busy people especially the high quality hot ones. If you have no photos
to prove that you’re interesting then why is she gonna turn more interesting men to
date your sorry ass? Be self aware of your social media. It’s essential become your
dating profile. Ive had 3 occasions where girls have told me they wouldn’t have
dated me had they not seen my photos and learnt that I had other friends. Had I gotten their number instead I would’ve missed out on the date. Interesting note the
girls that are reading your Instagram stories the most probably have some sort of
interest in you. So for flakey leads it’s especially worth following up if they are
reading your Instagram stories a lot. I’ve gotten laid from a few occasions from knowing
the girls that read my stories a lot and messaging them three months after they’ve flaked
on me just because they weren’t interested in the first time doesn’t mean they’re not
interested at all. For More information read the social media guide here: mindful-masculinity.org/2020/10/18/the-complete-instagram-and-social-media-guide-for-dating-and-relationships/
Learning to cook one or two dishes really well. Women loves a guy who cooks. Shows you’re more than a one trick grimey pua like me.
Have a good vibe
Don’t let the rejection get to you. Every resistance a girl gives you for a sexual
advance is part of life. It’s fine. It’s nothing against you it’s important to remain
confident and in the moment. Meditation , Yoga and exercise before hand can help
maintaining a good vibe prior to the date.
Additional info
Buyers Remorse:
Sometimes escalation may lead to buyers remorse out of the 14 times I’ve followed
this on the first date 7 times girls have not wanted to fuck and out of those 2 have not texted me back in-spite of me kissing them. Some girls will feel they have created the
expectation of sex on the next date so may not be comfortable seeing you again.
Judge it , if she rejects alot of the early escalation she maybe not up for it or maybe
needing a bit of a massage to loosen her up. Others just lose interest this could be
because of your game , not being interesting enough and sexual etc..but also
because women just change their minds. (Women that have just broken up with
long term boyfriends are very prone to acting like this. They need to be fucked
quickly if they’re on the rebound. Their buying temperate is high and need to be
taken advantage of if you fuck it up with them it’s unlikely to result in them texting
you back ) Have a plan B ready at all times . If she says no to sex at yours then ask to watch a movie or cook a desert with her. Something like a cake and ice cream and give her a choice of ice creams and ask her to scoop them herself so she feels involved in the decision making process. The more different things you do together the more it feels like you’re on a journey together. This is why you should set out multiple locations for your date as well as multiple things to do together at the house . You want to be constantly leading during the date and showing you’re dynamic .
Womens perspective:
Analysing seduction from the girls perspective. When you get caught up in the
hustle of doing 100s of daygame approaches you can forget what it’s like for the girl.MOST women have had sexual awkward dating partners and have dating men
that have seduced them poorly by not respecting her boundaries, acting needy etc.
Try and differentiate from this by embracing each time she rejects your advances
and don’t let it get to you. Just let the date carry on. The more you do this the more
she will believe that this is a guy who deserves to be fucked. Meditation, yoga and
doing a few approaches before the date can massively help you sit in the pressure
when she gives some resistance.
Don’t let bad dates get to you:
Bad dates happen to everyone. Sometimes the girls on her period, sexually frigid
,comes from a conservative background and doesn’t know how to express herself.
It’s fine its not a personal attack on you some girls don’t want to fuck on the first
date and thats fine. More importantly some girls wont match your vibe and
personality. It’s no insult against you and nothing personal. Don’t let bad dates get
to you, I’ve learnt far more from my dates that have gone shit than the ones I’ve got
laid from. When you follow the 9 step method at least you’re giving yourself a good
fighting chance of getting laid and showing leadership qualities. I’ve been
complimented from many girls for being smooth and many have enjoyed this type
of date but is far from failure free, nothing is don’t let it go against you and don’t let
it make you start resenting women just for not sleeping with you. Sometimes dates
are awkward but you have to go through them to get to the women that you want. When approaching the general population in PUA – women have a lot of different ideologies whether it be conservative or liberal minded you’re in no control over this. If i date a woman and she turns out to be a strict religious Christian and doesn’t want to escalate with me that’s not my fault. Far too many men see a woman’s ideologies, political beliefs, relationship beliefs as a critique of their own character. You obviously want to avoid this as it can be quite problematic and just leaves you feeling shit about things that you cant control or aren’t your problem.
Framing for the Second date if the first Date escalation dosen’t work
Say you’ve got a surprise for her lined up as a compliment for withstanding my shitty food “i want to take you out to a bar etc.” This keeps the adventure up and avoids her seeming like she’s been used as part of a plan. Sometimes a woman is going to need more than one date to fuck- there’s nothing wrong with this and as long as you’re enjoying the dating experience with her you should keep at it. If you find her boring or bitchy or too uptight or conservative then it might be best to move on.
What if it does lead to sex – what to do after
Make sure you treat her right the next day- take her to restaurant and pay for the meal so she doesn’t feel used and pay for her uber back. Some might see this as “omfg provider frame” but you want to keep things respectful and not make her feel like you’ve dicked about her. Treat her wrong and she might feel traumatised/used and problematic for her mental health. Going on a meal together paints a romantic picture for her and makes it seem like you guys have been dating longer than you actually have.
For the 3rd-4th dates and progressing the relationship further look at this guide here: mindful-masculinity.org/2023/11/27/what-to-do-on-the-third-fourth-date-in-the-uk-converting-a-casual-sex-relationship-to-ltr/
Why I am currently against Rapid Escalation and sex on the first date
At the time of writing this I am currently in a happy LTR but I know longer do – “Rapid Escalation, or first dates to mine” anymore the reason being it kills the tension and made the woman feel like she was part of a plan. Some of the girls didn’t text back after I kissed them and i felt if i’d waiting 2-3 more dates I’d have got the lay. Sometimes patience and building romanticism up can yield more successes than straight fucking on the first date. Of course as I expressed before if she’s a tourist then I really recommend this guide.
Shitty Recipe ideas
Basic recipe:
Ingredients:
Wild Alaskan salmon filet from Waitrose
Onions and Garlic
Kale
Rice
Grass fed Irish butter
Garlic salt
- Cut up the onions and garlic throw them in the pan with salt and oil
- Cook the salmon then at the end of cooking add grass fed Irish butter ( Kerry gold) with
the garlic salt it will taste great. - Cook the Kale and rice separately
- get her to cut the onions and garlic , tease her during cooking
- the grass fed butter and garlic salt combination makes anything taste good trust me
make sure the butter is Irish, Kerrygold tastes the best
Honest statistical analysis of this method: none of this Vodo i got laid every time
sort of shit:
8/14 times I’ve gotten laid from this as of writing
3/8 of those times was before the meal(the lay)
6/14times I failed
4 of those times I failed I got at least got a kiss
3 of those girls who kissed me never texted me after . Only two of the 6 I failed got
back to me
Interestingly two out of the 6 that I failed with actually wanted to see my bedroom
before the meal but I didn’t let them. (my mistake. Didn’t have the expectation that
girls want to fuck on the first date )
It’s a small subset of girls but these were pretty much all first dates bar 1 just goes
to show though that 50 percent of the time girls really want to fuck on the first date.
Further reading : (Im not affiliated with any of the products listed) :
Rapid Escalation by Liam McRae
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Rapid-Escalation-Average-Dating-Process-
ebook/dp/B00F9Z3SWI/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1541173965&sr=8-
1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=liam+mcrae&dpPl=1&dpID=5
111zpz3WSL&ref=plSrch
Massage oils : https://www.amazon.co.uk/Carrier-Oil-Gift-Set-
Coconut/dp/B01M1D1GS1/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1541376702&sr=8-1-
spons&keywords=massage+oils&psc=1 will add some spice and flavour to your massage .
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