Mindful Masculinity

Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insight. For those wondering I am based in London/Nice/San Fransisco so for those who want to network in the future please email darrenpua1@gmail.com thanks.

Growing up I had very few realistic perspectives on women I simply didn’t know enough or interact enough with people when I was at school- I was very shy about new cultures, new perspectives on life and this carried out into university. Ultimately I lost a lot of opportunity to create new interactions and meet new people until I gave daygame a shot in late 2017.  I wrote this article to show people why daygame is the most important right of passage in the world for young men in the dating space right now and I am writing this against dating schmucks who peddle “Social circle game” or “online dating guides” as ultimately salespeople who aren’t giving a realistic viable solutions to the majority of men. 

My main argument is Daygame will always give you the best chance of conveying your value to a woman. Think about it – by going up to her in broad daylight at the minimum you are at least conveying: 

• Some degree of self confidence 
• Some degree of social skills 
• The ability to stand up for yourself and get what you want in life 

This is a much better starting point than online game where you are one of hundreds if not thousands of men messaging her with a similar message to others.  Of course the advantages of daygame and cold approach  doesn’t guarantee anything but you’re at least starting from a stronger perspective. I’ve approached and dated women who said they would swipe left to me on tinder- so from this I garnered that first impressions do matter and daygame can ultimately give you a very strong edge against those who rely on online game and social circle game. 

Daygame is more effective in low population cities– now in general I think being in a low population city sub 100k people is tough for any form of game be it daygame or online game but still daygame can give you the opportunity to meet new tourists , women who are visiting a place on a whim  and interact with people who don’t use apps and there are a lot of women my girlfriend included who don’t use online dating apps. With online game you’re at the mercy of the quantity of women who are using it and with the thousands of matches the average woman receives they might already have a stack load of matches before they even have the chance to match with you. 

Daygame is the most sustainable form of game to learn- Night game drains you of your energy due to the need for a lot of men to drink and it can harm your sleep in the long run which in turn can harm your testosterone levels. Online game you’re dependent on the algorithm and the women in your area. Daygame you are dependent on yourself and your confidence and actions. It is without a doubt the form of game that has the most “power” Its the one form of true game where you’re in control. Every other form of game is dependent on other variables that play against you . Whether it be an algorithm who’s goal is to suck you out of cash or a night venue that wants you to spend more money on alcohol to achieve a false sense of confidence which evaporates as soon as you leave the club. 

Daygame skills can really improve other areas of your life. I remember my first online lay was in Brazil in 2017 though it was nice it didn’t really fix my dating problems – again it didn’t feel a sustainable solution and I felt I was lucky being a British person in a foreign country who’s socio-economic situation was far worse than what I was used to . When I returned to Europe I was still lonely and unable to create options to myself and I got far less matches in Europe than in Brazil and these said matches would never reply to me. Once I started daygame in late 2017 I was able to make my own dating experiences  and be no longer dependent on apps. I was able to create experiences that would be near impossible to create on dating apps as a lot of these women I dated with weren’t even using these apps to begin with. It also made me a better at interactions with other people not just women  and this made me  adaptable to changes in my surroundings . Going up and speaking to strangers is a vital every day skill that a man must learn – swiping on apps and messaging 10 maybe women isn’t going to improve your day to day social skills. If anything excessive computer usage is going to harm you by causing you to think too analytically and move outside the flow of the “here and now” . 

Daygame had a lower flake rate for me in comparison to  online and night game. Nightgame in particular was very flakey for me. I found a lot of women gave me their number not because they actually liked me but because they were drunk and the next day they’d have buyer’s remorse and not text me back. Even if we made out it seemingly made little difference. Online game was also frustrating as a lot of women would flake and change their plans. Im not saying that these two forms of game can’t create successes they can- but for me personally daygame had the lowest amount of flakes for me I believe it was because I was able to convey my personality, my confidence , my attractive traits head on in broad daylight not through the protection of a screen or through the drunken/over stimulating lights of a nightclub. 

Daygame helps you to get the best out of new cities– whenever I visited a new place daygame was honestly the best skill for me to interact with new people especially seeing as not In every country do the apps work well. For example when I was in Kazakstan tinder or hinge isn’t popular there so I just cold approached the women till I found one that spoke English and hung out with her. I was able to make friends quickly this way instead of waiting around for replies on dodgy apps that don’t work very well in every country.  If you want to assimilate quickly and get your dates on the roll then daygame is one of the best ways. 

Online dating only really benefits the elite 10 percent of men . If you’re not in said top 10 percent- and Im  not then its going to be really tough to get great results from online dating. Therefore daygame should be seen as the best way for the majority of men. 90 percent of the women on these apps are chasing the top 10 percent of men so the probabilities are stacked against men. Especially seeing as the majority of men who research dating and self improvement are statistically in the bottom 90 percent these men really need to know daygame first. Online game dating skills isn’t going to really rescue them or create the options you need going forward. For me the women online simply weren’t enough or too flaky for me to create the options I needed to have the pool of women to pick a girlfriend from. I believe for the majority of men daygame is the only real way to create solid long standing options and these gurus that sell online dating courses don’t want you to know this because they keep wanting to sell you their shitty products . Im not saying that all the online dating guides are bullshit- they aren’t but understand the majority of men in online dating situations are facing numbers/probabilities that are too heavily stacked against them. Daygame on the other hand has a much higher success for the majority of men. That being said it is a mentally tough exercise and relies a lot more on a large amount of self confidence but in the long run you will find the results are worth your time when done properly. 

Daygame V Social Circle Game: 

This debate is an odd one . For me personally social circle game doesn’t make sense for a large majority of men. A lot of them simply don’t have the time to develop a social circle, if you’re dating in your 30s-40s then you may simply not have the time to really develop one. The criticisms often heard from the social circle “gamers” is that  day-game is time consuming. But my argument suggests this works both ways in fact even more so on the social circle game side of things:

• You need to integrate in social circles by adding value. A lot of single men don’t really have a lot of value especially those that are in the dating community are usually there because of their lack of value to begin with.  This makes integrating in new social circles more of a long term project as opposed to daygame which it  can quickly throw me into social situations and make bonds with single women right from the off. 
• A lot of women in social circles are taken – look it’s great going to a party at university but post university I found that a lot of people calcify and don’t really develop their social lives that much . This isn’t a huge problem per say but it can potentially make it a waste of time for some people particularly older people hanging around the same taken women over and over isn’t really great for someone wanting to improve their dating options .
• Men in their 30s + are running low on time- so social circle game isn’t really a viable option especially if they have work commitments or children to look after. Someone working at an investment bank or a lawyer for example probably doesn’t have the time to hang around young crowds at night without causing some damage to their career or health. 

Now this isn’t to say that Social Circle Game doesn’t have some massive advantages to it .For example there are a percentage of women that will only date in their social circle game so obviously using this example social circle game can be  superior in some situations and  It’s obviously quicker to win trust in certain situations from social circle game in comparison to online and raw daygame.  Of course social circle game can also depend on your lifstyle- if you’re rich and own a bar for example women will naturally come into your social circle but for the majority of occupations and for the majority of men its just not a viable option. No matter what someone like Michael Sartain will tell you. 

Day-game V Night-game the Debate: 

• Night-game you’re at the mercy of the club- if there’s no one attractive in the club then you’re basically fucked for that night . Day-game you can quickly move onto viable options . 
• A lot more people approach in night game environments so approaching per say may not be seen as a “confident thing to do” of course it’s still a better display of confidence than nothing. 
• Loud music may disrupt your set- daygame has more overstimulation and distractions than night game on average of course if you’re high energy and used to night game environments this probably won’t be an issue but for introverted men and more analytical men who can’t get into a “flow state” as much its problematic. 
• A lot of girls don’t go to clubs -quite simply there are a percentage of women who don’t want to go to the club and who don’t use online dating so the only way to meet them is daygame. 
• For older men it can take a lot of toll from their health. Especially those in their 40s and 50s. 

Of course there are advantages of Nightgame – 

• Women being drunk maybe they are down for more spontaneous  hookups.
• If you have a table in a nightclub- bottle service , know the dj etc. you can potentially climb up in the club’s social “hierarchy” 
• For a lot of young men particularly those starting university at age 18-21 the club is probably the best place to find the most social out going women 
• Its the easiest out of the three forms of game for rapid escalation and same day lays. Of course this can be achieved in daygame and social circle game but no where near as much as night game. 

Of course as someone who found his girlfriend from daygame I obviously have huge amounts of bias. Im also not in the top tier of men in my city London when it comes to online game – maybe if I was I’d be more in favour of online game and maybe if I owned a nightclub or  a bar I’d probably love social circle game a hell of a lot more to. But my point stands  for the vast majority of men daygame is the best way to improve their dating lives and in a modern day community where the solution seems to be a magic line on tinder or looking “alpha” by taking pics with girls I do wonder whether men of the modern dating world were being taking down the wrong direction and on a path that wasn’t sustainable or simply not viable for them. Hence why I wrote this article to keep my side of the argument alive and to let people know based off my experiences of doing daygame for some 5 years its still the most superior form of game for the majority of men.