Mindful Masculinity

Disclaimer: I’M not a dating coach I’m not trying to sell any services or coaching . This blog is just a few of my experiences in London . Im based predominantly in London, Nice/Monaco/Cannes ( South of France), Dubai, San Fransisco  or Dallas. If you’re in any of these areas feel free to email me or hit me up for networking at darrenpua1@gmail.com No complete beginners or time wasters please must have some degree of maturity and value.

2 Step Dates : 

Coffee Then Bar Date : Refer To my Previous Guide For what’s the best date setup for you. Remember this can vary for girl to girl and who you like . IF you like drunk ass party girls then obviously more alcohol based dates are for you . If you want to play more of a long game then providing a variety of different locations can set your woman up for unique experiences while keeping things interesting and fresh for you too. If you’re under time constraint or the woman is leaving and you want the lay then pushing for some bars near where you live is always the most optimal approach. Match what you like to your date location . Dont feel forced to go somewhere purely because the local player got a 100 lays at one bar and now you feel obliged to take your ultra conservative girl on a  date there. Similarly read how she’s feeling. If she’s really shy an activity date may help to bring her personality out a bit more rather than Liam McRae style rapid escalation . Every woman is different and one  date might work for one might fail horrifically for another .  Also this depends on what your relationship goals are whether you’re looking for a LTR or  Short term fling- for women you’re looking for a more long term thing with you may want  to ease it off and play things cooler. This is advisable particularly if you know the woman is committing to your city for a long period of time for example she is completing one year of her three year degree course. If this example is the case you most probably don’t want a rapid escalation back to yours first date. 

Dates to Avoid: 

Any emphasis on politics:  For obvious reasons make sure there’s nothing affecting your date in political terms. For example one failure date I had was taking my first date with a Czech  to a gallery which had strongly political themed art. This was a huge mistake which derailed the date and made her upset about the images and artwork involved which completely killed the vibe. You don’t want any date location that can potentially build up any political discussion its just not a first date topic and can more often than not ruin things. 

Film Dates: For obvious reasons just no real opportunity to talk and get to know her . 

Dates in Locations where other people will get in the way :  For example it’s not a good idea to take a woman somewhere that’s overly packed  like a bar during a football match or an overly loud place where you can’t hear her . This could be seen as basic common sense but its something to thing about . Avoid generic dating locations in very busy areas like Soho especially on the weekends where you might find seating hard to come by . 

Matching Dates to the Personality: 

Matching a date to the perspective girl you’re dating’s personality is always a good mode of thinking. You don’t want to put a conservative girl in a nightclub with raging  loud music nor an introverted girl somewhere that will bore you and kill the vibe. If you’re struggling to get something out of the girls personality after speaking to her maybe try an activity to bring out her personality a bit more like for example mini golf.  If you’re dating a fitness /yogi girl picking a high end organic coffee shop like Daylesford or whole foods might be a good way to score extra points. Try and read her and maybe gage from her instagram what seems to like and maybe use a date idea that can replicate her interests. 

Russell Square: 

Russell Square is an area at the forefront of 4 Major University campuses its therefore a place where if you’re day gaming you want to have insta dates with students on your objective.  

Qima Coffee shop- This coffee shop is striking, eloquent and an interesting place to take a woman for a low key first date. Close to most the major universities this is a good spot to have if you’re approaching women around the campuses and are need of a good instant date spot . There’s also plenty of outdoor seating so in the summer this can be a huge plus granted it can potentially get crowded during the week so make sure you have a second back up option nearby if this is the case or simply purchase a coffee to go from here and just go for a walk to the main square and sit down and talk.  

Piccadilly:

  A quick coffee at whole foods Piccadilly  for the first part of the date followed by a drink at the Fallow which is beautiful bar with decent British style food. A third date location after this could be Barffina nearby .  Piccadilly whole foods is an easy location for a coffee date and is a great place to take tourists especially those visiting London for the first time. Bear in mind though on the weekend these places can be difficult to go to for dating so if you’re pre planning a bar on the weekend in Piccadilly its’s best to call up in advance and prebook a spot. 

Covent Garden Coffee To Bar:  Get a Coffee at % Arabica followed by some wine or Tapas at Barfina . Easy two step date option.  

Mayfair -Coffee To Bar  Dates: 

I find Mayfair a good choice as it tends to be emptier than Soho/Covent Garden Areas. 

Take them Guiliam Coffee Shop  , great location for a first date followed by a drink at the Churchill Cigar Lounge. Next to the Churchill Cigar lounge there are several hotels that serve alcohol deep into the night. 

Mayfair Kitchen: This is a fantastic drinks spot with plenty of good seating. Great for a night cocktail it’s a perfect second or third spot if you’re dating around this area. 

An alternative interesting spot is the coffee shop Shot  which is very popular especially amongst middle eastern women followed by bounce to Manetta’s bar which opens from 4pm. Perfect way to move from a non-alcohol date to an alcohol one whilst keeping the premise of you being the “leader” of the date . 

Charing Cross: 

Page8 Hotels is a lovely bar located approximately 6 minutes away from Charing Cross station. This is a spacious coffee place that closes at 6pm but seeing as its attached to hotel the area where the coffee is served never really “closes” as such so the date can last far beyond the 6pm closure time. Near the closure time this place starts to empty up which is great for escalation . This can be followed by a restaurant bounce  to Orrery of course taking women to boogie restaurants isn’t for everyone but I think for a weekday lunch this is an excellent spot for a second or third date or maybe a date for a woman after sex . 

KnightsBridge-

 Coffee To Bar Dates: 

The big advantage of Knightsbridge is it’s the place where the coffee shops close the latest. This is arguably the best place in London to have an alcohol free date late at night even as late as 9-10pm so if your day job finishes late this is still a very good option as El﹠N and L’Eto shut very late here around 11pm .Furthermore there are Sisha bars that close around 10pm-12am  like Cavalli lounge or 17 on Sloane  so its a prime location for keeping a date and bouncing to other locations late into the night without being too crowded or overwhelming for the girl.  A lot of people are worried that Knightsbridge is too much of an expensive location but there are still reasonably priced coffee shops in this area that I’ve already listed.  

Knoops Knightsbridge -a decent hot chocolate place (also serving  hot chocolate )  that  isn’t too pricy and the perfect spot for a low time investment date that won’t come across too boring. After this take her to Hawksmoor for a drink – there’s a bar area in this restaurant.  Knightsbridge has a tonne of coffee options most notably EL a N and numerous cake shops including L-Eto as previously mentioned . 

Furthermore at the time of writing this (7th November 2023) there is a Shot Knightsbridge a very popular coffee chain being under construction and that maybe a good place to take women out on an instant date. 

Saddle Coffee shop is also another beautiful Emryati  coffee place which  opened in Knightsbridge this year and  is another great place to take women that you cold approach in Harrods and Selfridges for an instant date. It’s also a good place to possibly take students on an instant date from that you  approach at Imperial collage. 

Alternatively there are numerous coffee places and bars in Harrods you can take women although be mindful if dating on weekends Friday/ Saturday/Sunday its likely to be very crowded which could make getting seats at the right time difficult – you never want a venue to be too packed or else you risk not being able to hear the girl speak or running into other problems. 

Marylebone  Date Ideas: 

Coffee Shops you can chose – Daylesford Organic – always a nice spot to take a woman out for a coffee especially those who are into health and fitness. Then nearby you have loads of options for bars nearby my personal favourite as I wrote in the other guide is the Churchill cigar lounge  or Nobu Hotel has a fantastic bar area downstairs which isn’t too expensive and is a great place to grab a wine and never gets too packed with excellent seating too ideal for escalation .   Alternatively a good instant date spot is inside Selfridges in the food court area there’s a lovely juice bar with good seating an ideal dating spot you can bounce after to Nobu or one of the numerous bars located within Selfridges  itself. 

Alternatively there is Modern Coffee a good swanky brunch spot which can followed by a bounce to  108 Brasserie, the advantage of 108 Brasserie is that you can have food with the girl then lead her to many of the cocktail bars located within the restaurant.  Remember in dates you want to vary as many different places as possible to make the date seem more adventurous and psychologically this will make your relationship, trust and rapport seem “ longer” for the girl if you go to many different spots and locations. 

South Kensington : 

Again the area outside museum and imperial college has a good outflow of students  so finding a good place to take them for a coffee should be planned in advance in case you strike the instant date.  El a N South Kensington is fantastic coffee spot or L’eto . You can then lead them to Hawksmour Knightsbbridge for a drink after too .  Guilam Coffee house is my personal favourite location here even though there are other additional good spots located . This is a great spot to take for example students from Imperial Collage on an instant date. 

Shoreditch/ Liverpool Street  : 

Boxpark Shoreditch is a fantastic place to take a girl for a low investment lunch. Although on the weekends this can be a very crowded place and not necessarily  ripe for escalation. 

EATLY Liverpool Street is also a fantastic coffee shop that has wine bars located on the upper floors . You can bounce to different locations in the venue itself as its packed with a lot of restaurants. Start with a low investment coffee then build your way towards a drink at the bar if the date is going well. 

Other date ideas can be going to % Arabica London Spitalfields followed by a walk to Spitalfields market itself and grabbing a bite to eat. Bear in mind on the weekends these places might get absolutely packed so intimacy can be difficult to obtain. If so have some smaller coffee shops with less seating in mind as a backup if dating in Liverpool Street on the weekends. 

Sloane Square : 

I posted most of my prime date locations in the other London dating guide but Lorian Delicatessen  is a great place to take women on the weekdays bear in mind this place shuts at 5pm most days but is a good open space with plenty of room for  intimacy on a date. 

Cafe Kitsune at Pantechnicon is another great place that serves French and Japense fusion confectionery . The impressive architectural  design will hopefully keep women in awe and make for a good low investment coffee date with plenty of nearby shish bars or cocktail bars nearby to the venue in both knightsbridge and Sloane Square  if you’re in need of a bounce . 

Vardo Chelsea Restaurant: This is another good coffee shop perfect for low investment summer time dates. Also nearby a lot of other bars its a good starting location for any Sloane Square based date. 

Islington: 

Megan’s at the sorting Office Restaurant. Ok, not everyone is a fan of Megan’s but the area this coffee place/restaurant in is good making a good starting point you’re literally surrounded by bars or other adjacent coffee shops and restaurant and the area is slick and perfect for a date 

Kings Cross : 

Redemption Roasters: Again a  stereotypical coffee shop but it’s a great place to take a girl on an instant date especially if you’re gaming near the art university of UAL . There are plenty of other cocktail bars near you for a second  bounce. 

Tottenham Court Road : 

The bar area in The Radisson Blu Kenilworth Hotel- this bar area I find to be the most spacious and underrated in London . Perfect for a quiet and intimate drinking date with a girl its defiantly a fantastic location and one which can provide a good opportunity for escalation if things are going well. 

Hope this article helps. Again there is a huge amount of choice in London whilst I can’t obviously list every date location I think I’ve listed some of the best spots to provide as a base for your dates which you yourselves can build upon. Make sure for each spot you pick you have another two locations lined up incase things go well. This will enable you to go on more of a“journey” with the woman involved and build rapport with her.  Always plan your dates – have a good structure in place if you feel the woman is enjoying the occasion don’t be afraid to switch to another venue to broaden the sense of excitement and adventure on the date.